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Let's Talk About Sex

Chapter One

"In the famous words of Salt and Pepa, Let's talk about sex! I know it sounds crude to some, like a party to others, but to me, it's what I do. As your resident sex advisor, I have heard it all. So let's get into it. Anna from Palm Springs writes. Dear Mercy J, what's wrong with me? My man and I have been together for three years, and he wants to watch porn with me, which I am okay with. But the more we watch, the more I realize that I don't quite get the rush from guy on girl like I do from girl on girl. Does that make me a lesbian?

"Anna, baby, let's just clear this up: sexuality is fluid; you could like guys or girls, but this begs the question, do you like the women you are watching or the actions? It has been shown that women watch girl on girl because the action women take with other women's bodies is so gentle, so soft. Often, men are rough and hard, and though we love the feel of a man between our thighs, watching girl on girl is arousing to imagine a softer touch.

"I say there is nothing wrong with a little girl on a girl. Hell, we all experimented in college; I know I did. But at the end of the day, I always run back to men; they are, how can I say it…my preference. But Anna, if you are really curious, if you really want to know if you are into girls, ask your dude for a threesome and let the cards fall where they may, and if that thought turns you off, then baby, you are all about that D."

Mercedes scrolled her phone. "Oooo, here is a spicy one, Dear Mercy J, I love my wife, I do, but lately things have been off; I love going down on her; she's beautiful and sexy, and getting to express myself in that way is everything, but I find that she won't return the favor. She won't go down on me. And no, it's not a deal breaker. No, it's not, but I just want some head, as crass as that sounds. Can you help? Vinny"

"Okay, Vinny, first off, kudos on you for admitting you give your girl a good head 'cause most of my letters are the opposite; women go down on men, and the men don't return it. So the advice I give you is similar to theirs. Talk to her, tell her what you want, what you need from her. Then take it slow; have her start with a kiss, a lick. Encourage her. And when she wants to stop, let her.

"Some women might benefit from a sex toy in the shape of a penis or a banana. There is this movie called The Brothers, and it hits on how his wife doesn't go down on her. It's hard for him to understand how he gives his wife love and how she doesn't return it. She was raised differently; she was brought up to think it was wrong to do it. It would help if you talked to your wife and be open and honest with her. It will help.

"Well, that is all we have for today; remember, sex doesn't have to be a dirty word; it can be enjoyable, thrilling, and beautiful. Don't be afraid to take what you want or ask for what you want; this has been The Turn On with Mercy J, where the only mercy you get is with a safe word."

"And we are out!" said a voice behind her.

Mercedes turned to her engineer, Artie Abrams, and her editor, Santana Lopez, and sighed. "How did I do?"

"How did you do? Merce, everyone loved your column, but turning The Turn On into a podcast was genius! You're becoming everyone's sex guru." Santana gushed.

"Your readers are captivated, and you have quite a few men falling for that voice of yours." Artie chimed in. "Told you raspy was sexy."

"Stop; I am trying not to get such a big head. Besides, I am still surprised this is as big as it is." Mercedes said, removing her headphones. She pushed the chair back and stood.

Her studio was in the spare room of her brownstone. It was her safe space; she had started the podcast as a fun way to answer all her fan mail that she couldn't get to in her column, and then it skyrocketed.

"Okay, so how many more episodes are you trying to get done this week?" She asked, running her hands through her hair. She'd given up harsh chemicals and heat so that her hair could get back to its natural state and was happy that she could keep it in its natural curls.

She'd be lying if she said it was her best asset but to her, it was her favorite. She hid behind her hair often, so she made sure it was always looking good, even at home. The only luxury of working at home was that she didn't need to dress up; she often wore sweatpants or pajamas when she wasn't in the office.

Thankfully, Santana only required her to be there three times a week. The only true downside is that she couldn't record in her underwear when Artie was there. She'd made that mistake once and never did it again.

"How many can you get out? You are already on episode ten. I think we also need to talk about doing an episode on sex toys; people need to be informed." Artie said.

"Awww, is Artie not getting any, so he needs some toys to get by?" Santana teased.

Artie rolled his eyes. "I get plenty; I just know she has to review the toys, and the hauls take longer to record. She has that panel coming up soon, remember?"

Mercedes looked at Artie and then at Santana. "What panel?"

"Well, since he let the cat out of the bag, you've been selected to speak at Cosmos' ten most influential podcast host event."

Mercedes' grew large. "Wh-what! Holy fuck!" She exclaimed, jumping excitedly before stopping and frowning. "Wait… will this be televised?"

Artie and Santana both looked at each other, and she shook her head. "Nope, not happening. A huge part of all of this is that I remain a mystery."

"I get that, but this is blowing up, and it's time to update everything. It's time we put a face to the voice. We've kept your face hidden long enough." Santana reasoned.

"Yeah, Merce, it's time your audience really got to see you," Artie added. "You're sexy as hell and got a great thing going; we gotta ride this wave."

Mercedes chewed on her bottom lip. "I don't know… what if they don't like what they see?"

Artie tilted his head. "Why wouldn't they? You've been bragging about all the people you've bedded, and based on those stories, men love you. Plus, you're a girl's girl, so it's in the bag."

Shifting slightly, she nodded. "Right, right…" she said with a strangled laugh. "Just… I'm just worried about those guys seeing it and stuff…"

Santana eyed her for a moment, then nodded. "Look, most men wouldn't want to admit what happened, and those that do will be too busy bragging that they got with The Mercy J."

"Okay, okay, I'll do it…when is it? This panel thing."

"Next week, Wednesday at eight that night. We'll have you go to the closet and get some clothes from Q. She's gonna style you for the event, and there's a networking thing afterward. You don't have to stay, but there's a writer for Jerk magazine I want you to rub elbows with." Santana explained, scrolling through her phone before sending her over the itinerary.

"Okay, I'll look this over and get back to you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a date."

"That's the fourth one this week; what are you trying to have a train ran on you?" Santana teased.

Mercedes shrugged with a sly smirk. "I'm young and single; now get out."

Sam Evans stared at the blank screen, fingers tapping the keys, but no words were actually being written. His mind was elsewhere; his mind was on Mercy J and the garbage he just read. Where does she get off thinking she was God's gift to the world of sex? And the things she wrote…some of it was just ridiculous.

"Oh, Sam, listen to this part!" His friend Puck laughed, holding the column. "A man who wants to hit and quit it, isn't ready for a relationship. He wants fun and this is considered acceptable in society but when women want to have fun, we are considered sluts" He said in a high-pitched girl voice, which Sam found both annoying and funny as hell.

Puck cleared his throat as he continued. "We should be able to go out and sleep with who we want and not have to worry about if a man will take offense to our body count when theirs is full of one-night stands. What is this shit?"

Sam took the paper and shook his head as he continued to read. "No one has the right to shame you for how you chose to use your body, man or woman, so go out there and do you, no shame, no judgment?"

Mike grabbed the article. "Well, people seem to like this garbage, though if I am being honest, the article about adding another woman to your bed was quite interesting, even got Tina considering it."

Sam turned back to his screen. "Its bull shit is what it is."

Puck shrugged. "She has a sexy voice, though…"

"Right!" Mike added. "Makes you wonder what she looks like."

"Doesn't make me wonder." Sam shrugged.

Puck shot his friend a knowing look. " Please, you've listened to all her episodes at least three times, and before you say it's for research, her episodes are all transcribed." He taunted. "You're like how her voice sounds, and that's why you're so annoyed."

"It is for research! I want to know what makes her tick so I can take her down. Her numbers are higher than ours, and you and I both know when that happens, Kitty gets enraged, and none of us wanna see her like that again."

"Sam, Kitty would like to see you in her office." A voice said from behind them. They turned to see Kitty's assistant, Harmony, standing there. "She doesn't like to be kept waiting, as you know."

Sam rolled his eyes. "Tell her I'll be there shortly." Harmony nodded as she turned and quickly rushed away.

Puck laughed. "Dude, why don't you do us all a favor and give Kitty that pity fuck she's been begging for since she hired you. Might get her off our backs."

Sam scrunched his face. "I'd rather eat rusted nails than get anywhere near that woman. She's too boney for my taste."

Mike smirked. "I bet Mercy J is curvy."

Sam stood, shaking his head. "I'd put money down that she's some old hag that sells feet pics."

"With a voice like that? I'd gladly suck her toes." Puck laughed. "I don't mind getting a lil ' freaky, and you know she doesn't mind."

Sam rolled his eyes, shutting down his machine and grabbing his planner. Most of his friends used tablets, but Sam was old school; he liked putting pen to paper. "You two can continue to fawn over some 60-something-year-old hag with crow's feet and nose hair; I have an actual job to do."

"Please, she's easily forty-three!" Mike shouted after him, laughing.

Sam didn't even bother answering them; the truth was that they were right. He did find her voice rather alluring. It started when Kitty asked him to do some research; he had spent hours trying to find an edge, a flaw in her words. Instead, he found himself mesmerized by her voice, the way her voice came through the speakers, and her raspy, sexy voice caused chills to run down his spine.

He couldn't stop listening if he wanted to; the truth was, he didn't. Whatever spell she had cast over him was one he couldn't break, no matter how many times he swore he would never listen to her again.

Taking a deep breath, he knocked on Kitty's door, hearing her call for him to come in. He reluctantly did so. Kitty, while brilliant when it came to creating a magazine that people actually wanted to read, was too eager to get into Sam's bed; it had been that way since the moment he had met her. She basically offered him more money to be with her, and it made him physically ill; he couldn't understand how someone could be that desperate.

When he told her he wasn't interested, she lied and said it was all game and she would never be interested in him. However, every chance she got, she touched him and threw herself at him. He would have quit if it wasn't for the fact that he was paid very well and had great benefits with a strong following.

He had been at Jerk Magazine for six years and worked his ass off to prove that he was the best. It took a great deal of hustling to amass the following that he had, and he only saw upward progress the harder he worked, but suddenly, his female followers were slowly slipping away from him, and there was only one person to blame.

Mercy J came out of nowhere and hit the ground like an atomic bomb. At first, it was cute, and her little sex column was entertaining, but the second she started writing about her wild night and reviewing sex toys, he started losing more and more ground with his female audience. Sure, many of them stayed due to him being handsome; he wasn't vain, but he knew women liked looking at him.

The biggest draw to her column is that she never revealed her face. It was like gossiping with your close friends, and that is how she hooked them. If you don't know who's talking, you pretend you know, and it drove him mad because he couldn't figure out what he should picture. Sure, he wanted to believe it was some gorgeous woman sitting behind that mic, but a part of him felt like it wasn't.

Which is why when Kitty asked him to do research on her, he gladly took the gig. He wanted to know how to gain the followers he'd lost back and maybe take Mercy J down a notch. The podcast had only increased her following, but he saw his male followers slowly slip over to her side. He knew it was because of her voice, but deep down, he knew it was because she was giving men advice on how to please women more.

He'd been their go-to guy on all things in that department, but to get insight from a woman that was like hitting gold. He hated that the advice was good advice, but a part of him felt it was barely scratching the surface.

"Sam! So nice to see you again." Kitty said, standing and sauntering over to him.

Sam sighed, looking her over. She was a pretty blonde woman with nice, long, slender legs and a pretty face, but she was just too… needy. She had a lot to offer to someone who was interested in that, but Sam wasn't, and he tried to explain that to her, but she wasn't used to rejection.

"You see me every day, Kitty. What did you need?" He asked, moving out of her reach.

She pouted. "Well, since you're all business today… I wanted an update on Mercy J. Did you find out anything?"

"Nothing concrete, still looking for a flaw." He replied. "I'm sure she'll slip up soon enough, but as of right now… she's solid."

Kitty huffed, shaking her head. "No, there has to be something. There's no way she's that perfect. A lot of our female readers are showing preference to her articles, and now, with her podcast, she's getting into the digital world, too. You need to shake things up on your end; that being said, I got you a spot at Cosmos' ten most influential podcast thing… "

Sam looked at her like she was crazy. "I don't have a podcast; Joe does."

"I'm aware that he has one, but you need to be there because she's gonna be there," Kitty replied with a devious smirk. "She won't know that you write Thrills and Thrusts, you scope her out and then get some real details on her."

"You want me to pretend to be Joe?"

Kitty shrugged. "I want you to do whatever you have to do to get her to open up. Sam, if you want to keep your numbers up, which means keeping your job, you need to get this article written up; the sooner we shut her down, the sooner we can get back to where we need to be."

With Sam deep in thought, she moved behind him, putting her hands onto his shoulders. "Which means you can become the great columnist that I always knew you could be."

"Fine, I'll do but I will do it my way and let this be the last check-up about this Mercy J stuff. When I have an update, I'll let you know… email me the details." He said, shaking her hands off his shoulders then quickly leaving her office.

We felt generous... part two is ready ;)