Chapter 2: They See Me Floating, Screeching

Disclaimer: We tried our best at giving everyone a nickname and apologising if they offend anyone. This is not how we see the characters, this is ament to be crack.

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Esme, Alice, Edward and Bella sat around the dining room table, arts and crafts lay around them. There is orderly chaos all over the table, with a neat pile of envelopes at the end. Though, privately Bella thinks it should be called anything else due to them not… eating at the table ever or any time soon. Maybe Alice's next project table. Esme put stickers with addresses on golden envelopes and passed them to Alice who slid wedding invitations and passed them to Edward. The brooding vampire then placed loose bits of confetti and glitter into the envelopes before passing them to Bella, who was sealing the envelopes, as she was the only one with saliva, before putting them in the box that was destined for the post office.

Sighing at the sight of the confetti sticking to Edward. It reminds Bella of the day he told her about being a vampire. She swoons at her fiancé.

They all looked up at the sound of the door opening to see Rosalie coming back into the house from the garage. She approached the table and looked down at the invites with a look of disapproval before heading into the lounge where Jasper and Emmett were watching a baseball game.

While walking she quickly threw a "Don't forget Harry's invite" over her shoulder while smirking.

Everyone around the table freezes, Bella looking around at the terrified faces around the table "Who's Harry?"

Alice reaches across the table and grabs Bella's hands with a distant look in her eyes and says "We don't talk about Harry. Because everytime we do he shows up for a visit and we do not want that to happen now"

Bella being the obedient human that she is, accepts this and keeps licking the envelopes.

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It was about ten minutes later that Emmett walked past, for no other reason than to cause a little chaos, singing "We don't talk about Harry, no no, we don't talk about Harry. It's Bella's wedding day, everyone's getting ready and there wasn't a broom in the sky, (no brooms allowed in the sky) then Harry walks in with the cocky grin (thunder)..."

Alice completely stops what she deems "the most important part before the wedding Bella", and stills in that weird statue way vampires do.

The muscler pale skinned animal murderer continues walking off with the last line being "We dont talk about Harry, we remember Carlisle's wedding". Alice stares at him in horror remembering the disaster that was Esme and Carlisle's wedding. Just the thought of that time sends non-existent shivers down her completely vertical spine.

Moody broody Mc I can hear your thoughts eye's widen a fraction, though not enough to get that constant grimace off his face. "Alice."

The little gremlin nods her head in acknowledgement. Her eyes go cloudy, monitoring the future like the time police she is.

A few weeks later Paul and Sam were patrolling near the wet and cold La Push coast line to avoid the affair that was Bella Swan's wedding, when their overly sensitive hearing picked up the sound of singing. It wasn't a great voice, it was a pitch that landed somewhere between a cat screeching and nails on a chalkboard.

This voice was doing a rendition of Taylor Swift's All Too Well and by the sound of the added lyrics it was the 10 minute version. Though how they knew the lyrics was suspicious. Sam may or may not have spent a day listening to that song when Emily made him sleep on the couch for a night because he was and quote "not going to eat a two meter sandwich with Paul in our bed". Though the others in the pack will never, never know that. Sam spotted a floating wooden box on the horizon, slowly drifting towards the shore.

As soon as what had been identified as a coffin was in the shallows Paul and Sam, who noticed the song changed from sad girl to bad ass bitch, lifted it out of the water and the rendition of Bad Romance suddenly halted. Though only for a second before the warbling restarted grating on their ears once again.

They open the casket, both surprised and not by the person staring back at them. Harry put his hands over his eyes "oooh the burn"

The shifters just stared at him until he put his hands down. Jumping up from his recent residence, Harry smiles brightly, "Thanks for the lift gents", before walking off. His feet unsteady on the beach after he had been laying down for… a while.

Sam called after him, "Hey, where are you going?"

Swirling around to face the two good boys, "oh you know, have a drink or five, crash a wedding, kill some relatives…"

Sam and Paul suddenly looked close to shifting and attacking the man in front of them. Sam growled, "We can't let you do that"

Harry rolled his eyes "Don't get your tails in a twist you giant puppies, I'm not going to hurt anyone "

Paul squinted suspiciously "But you said you'd kill some relatives"

Suddenly a mischievous grin formed across Harry's face "I'm only going after the animal bloodsucking family which you wouldn't exactly call people. Really you should be more angry with them. They are eating some of your distant relations"

A lightbulb look suddenly flashed across the shifters faces "You're talking about the Cullens" Sam said in a voice of realisation

"Correct, you see that little wedding shindig they got going on-" Harry's face suddenly gained a dark look upon it before he added in a menacing voice that slowly got louder with every word "-That I paid for it without consenting to. I want my money from those DICKS!- That's where I'm headed"

The two giant haired rodents looked at each other and simultaneously said "Can we come?"

Harry smiled brightly and nodded. About five seconds later the screeching voice heard before came back into existence. "On the road again…"

Paul looked at the verge of tears by the time they reached the end of the beach.

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Points to anyone who can guess the song references.