Chapter 25

Charlie was able to tell Bella where Bane had been planning to stay. He had made the reservation at Pacific Inn Motel. So as soon as Charlie left for work, Bella hopped into her truck and went to look for Bane. She really hoped that he was there. He hadn't opened his phone yet.

Bella drove to the motel's parking lot, and if she remembered right what car Bane drove last night, it was parked in front of one of the rooms. She thought what the best thing to do would be. It was 8.30, quite early still. She didn't want to wake him up, but she didn't want to wait here sitting in a car either. She got out of the car and went to sit on a bench. Maybe he had heard her coming. That rusty old beast of hers made an entrance wherever it went so that he might have heard her. Did he want to come out? Well, she just had to wait and see.

But then the door opened, and Bane came out. He looked terrible. His eyes were red and swollen, and his clothes were wrinkled and disheveled.

"Why are you here?" he asked grumpily.

"I came to talk to you. I don't want us to part the way we did yesterday. Like it or not, you're very important to me no matter what," Bella answered and continued, "Come with me. I'll buy you breakfast. I know where the best coffee in town is served, and you can see where I work."

Bane stared at her without saying a word. She could see the conflict in his face. He wanted to stay mad at her and not give in, but he also realized that it would be childish. Fortunately, the adult side won.

"Ok. Would you like to come in and wait for me to grab a shower, and then we can go?" he asked.

"I think I'll wait here. It's such a beautiful morning," Bella answered. She could see the irritation in Bane's eyes.

It took 20 minutes for Bane to come out again. He looked much better.

"So, we are going to Armchair Books. I think I've told you about it. It used to be my safe haven, and now I just love working there."

Peter was bringing more take-a-away cups from the storage room when Bella and Bane came in.

"Oh, Bella, I didn't know you were coming this early today."

"No, I brought a friend to have the best coffee in town. I might come in later. It depends on my friend's plans," Bella said and glanced at Bane.

"I'm leaving for Seattle around noon."

"So soon? Why?" Bella asked.

"You made yourself clear last night, and there is no point for me hanging around here."

"Bane, I made myself clear over the phone time and time again," Bella said, frustrated.

Bane just shrugged and turned around, "nice looking place this is."

"Yes, it is. So, what do you want to have? The flat white here is almost as good as Alicia's. I've mastered it myself. Do you want me to make you a coffee?"

"Sure."

Bane went to look around. Peter came to Bella and whispered, "what is his problem?"

"He's Bane, my ex from Honolulu. I'll tell you later. Did you get a new order of iKaffe already?" Bella asked and took two of her favorite cups from the shelf.

"Yes, I did. I'll get them. What do you want to have to eat? There are those blueberry and chocolate muffins from Bake and Bread and fresh bagels. I could add some smoked salmon and sour cream to go with them. Simon brought the salmon this morning, and it tasted exceptionally good today. Or there is also excellent roasted beef for your friend. By the way, do you think you could persuade Paul to make those pecan pie muffins for me to sell them here?"

"Who's Paul?" Bane asked.

Bella hadn't noticed him coming back, and he watched her with intense eyes.

"Um… Paul is…"

Shit, there was no point to start lying now, she would hate herself for the rest of her life, and Bane deserved to know the truth, "Paul is the guy that I've been seeing. He bakes delicious muffins, and Peter thought they could sell well here."

"Oh, he bakes now, does he," Bane said with a sneer.

"Yes, he bakes and cooks and will be a chef. Now, what would you like to have? Muffins or bagels with salmon and sour cream or roasted beef?

Bella could see that Bane was swallowing his anger; he really tried to and succeeded somewhat and said through gritted teeth: "I'll have both thanks, bagel with salmon."

"Great. Grab a table for us, and I'll come soon with the coffees."

"That boy is intense, huh," Peter whispered and left to get the oat milk.

When Bella brought the coffees and sat down, Bane didn't waste any time, "tell me about this guy you've been seeing, this… Paul," Bane spat the name.

"Why?"

"I want to know what he has that I don't."

"Bane, what's the point in that? I didn't leave you for him. I told you that already."

"But you are obviously not getting back with me because of him," Bane said.

There was some truth in that she could not think about leaving Paul, but no, they wouldn't get back together even without Paul.

"Bane, I understand you don't see things as I do now, but you will. We don't want the same things from life, and it is not fair for you to try to change what is important to you to accommodate my wishes and dreams. It really isn't. We would end up hating each other, you know we would," Bella said and hoped he was able to see her point of view in this mess.

"You are not answering my question," Bane said.

"Was there a question?" Bella asked, knowing she was playing stupid.

"Don't, Bella. Just say if this Paul is why you don't want to get back together with me."

"No, I wouldn't get together with you even if there was no Paul."

"Do you love him?"

"It's too early for that," Bella lied. There was no point telling Bane that yes, in fact, she loved him more than she probably should, considering how little time they had known each other. That would only make him hurt even more, and he was hurting too much as it was.

"But you will be leaving for college soon. He's a local guy, isn't he? So, you will end up with a long-distance relationship with him," Bane prompted.

"Yes," Bella admitted.

"You would do it for him but not for me or us?" Bane asked, sounding very hurt.

"Bane, please, you are smarter than this. It isn't about the distance. Well, maybe being away from you opened my eyes sooner, but don't you see, it saved us both time. We aren't kids anymore. You want a family, a wife, a stay-at-home mother for your children who cooks, bakes, and cleans for you. And nothing is bad in that, but I'm not that woman. You have to see that."

Bane sighed. Bella could see that he was giving up.

"Please, Bane, say that you understand. Be honest, please."

"I can't. I love you too much," Bane said, and Bella saw tears in his eyes.

"You love me now, but you will find someone you love more," Bella said with a genuine feeling. She remembered the talk with Bane's mum. Let it go. Something Beautiful wants to grow in its place.

"You don't know that," Bane said.

"Hey, don't underestimate yourself. Women are lining up to be with you."

"But none of them is you."

"No." What else there was to say? None of them was her.

Bane let out a loud, shaky breath. Tears were falling to his cheeks, and Bella noticed she was crying too.

Shit, this was so hard. She wanted to comfort him. She got up and went to sit by him and hugged him. Bane wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tight. They cried. After a while, Bella couldn't say how long; Bane detached his arms from Bella, cupped his hands around her face, and gave her a small kiss on the forehead.

"Goodbye, Bella. I might see things in your way someday. But not now. I wish you a happy life."

"Bane," Bella started, but Bane put the finger on her lips and shook his head. He got up and turned to leave.

Peter was there, "I'll drive you to your motel Bane. Are you ok here for a while?" he asked Bella.

Bella nodded but couldn't stop the tears from flowing.

That night Bella lay in bed with Paul, his arms tightly securing her into his warm body, crying the sorrow she felt for Bane, the broken heart, dreams, and the unfairness of it all.

"Thanks, man, I really needed that," Paul said, sweating from his every pore. He wiped his face with his towel and drank a water bottle in three big gulps. Fuck he felt so much better than two hours ago.

"So, what's bugging you?" Kai asked and drained a bottle too. They've been sparring for about two hours, and they both pant heavily.

After watching Bella drive off to meet Bane, Paul called Kai, his martial arts instructor. He needed the outlet for this fucking cocktail of every fucking emotion imaginable. It had been an emotionally very draining day. Kai had been happy to be the one to help him, and they had been kicking, punching, and striking for almost two hours before Kai had called it a day.

Kai was no stranger to Paul's dark moods; over the years, they have become friends. Well, maybe it was more of a big-brother thing or even the father he never had, well, not that, but more than just a friend. Paul was forever grateful to mommy Holly for taking him to Kai's classes when he was a kid. Kai is the only one besides mommy Holly and now Bella, of course, who Paul had told things from his childhood. Kai understood him and was always ready to help him let out some steam. What the hell? He was like a father to him.

"You will not believe me, but I'm in love. Like insanely losing myself deeply in love. It is crazy, man."

"And that is the reason to beat the shit out of me because…?" Kai prompted with a chuckle.

"She's moving away soon. And I don't know what will happen to us. We are very new, met less than two months ago."

"Ah, I've been wondering why I haven't seen you lately."

"Yeah, we've been pretty tight. It is like I can't function if I'm not with her. I think about her constantly, and absolutely nothing else matters when I'm with her. It's insane; man I really didn't know something this powerful could exist. How the hell am I going to survive when she leaves for Seattle. She is going to uni in September."

"You're not able to go with her?"

"Nah, I'm starting my studies, and they tie me to Port Angeles for the next two years at least, and she has all plans, a flat rented, and a friend with whom she will share it. I wouldn't ask her to change her plans."

"Did you say you picked up with your plans to get the certificate?"

"Yeah, Bella helped me see that I should do it," Paul said.

"That's amazing, son! Good for you, Paul!"

"Yeah, I'm fucking happy about getting my shit together. But Bella is totally out of my league, like super smart; she's going to be a marine biologist, gorgeous, and she could pick just about anybody. She's just something else altogether."

"I wouldn't know about that, Paul, her being out of your league. I mean, you're kinda league of your own. It needs to be someone quite special to put up with your shit," Kai chuckled.

"Well, it's more like she doesn't take any of my bullshit. It's amazing how she had, in this very short time, stopped me from getting into deep shit more than once. But I lose it still, too easily. Today I almost killed a fucker sniffing her and touching her. But she put a stop to it. So, I left and tried to kill a tree instead," Paul said and stretched his fingers.

"I just need to be better for her, but I don't know how," Paul sighed.

"It sounds like you already are," Kai rose and tapped Paul on his shoulder.

"The craziest thing is that it feels like we've been together so much longer. And it was the moment I saw her I knew I had to have her," Paul said.

"You got it really bad, son. I would like to meet this Bella," Kai said and returned with a writing pad and pen.

"But we need to make you a plan. You need a goal you focus on getting, and the rest will follow. Set a strict routine and follow it rigorously. I don't mean you shouldn't take it easy, too but keep yourself focused. Make sure you have chances to be with your woman as often as possible, but when you're not with her, focus on other things," Kai said.

"You make it sound so easy," Paul sighed.

"I think after you get into a routine, it will be easy or at least easier than if you didn't make this plan. But I still think you should try mediation. You say it's total bullshit, but I really think it might help you. And I'm still ready to help you with your emotional load; you are still dragging it with you," Kai said. He had been trying Paul to do that shit for years now.

"I'm happy to make you a plan that includes all we did tonight but add the spiritual strengthening. Running is also very good for getting out of the anxiety. So, whenever you're not in Seattle with that girl of yours or she's not here, follow the plan and stay focused. Two years will go fast."

Paul's mobile buzzed. He grabbed it hastily and saw a text message from Bella.

All is good here. No need to worry. just exhausted, call you tomorrow. Love you xxx.

He smiled. He fucking grinned so that his face hurt.

"I take it it's from Bella," Kai said.

"Yeah," was all he said. Bella was ok, and she loved him.

The next day at work was torture. Bella had texted him that Bane was leaving for Seattle and she would come to his place later. She would eat dinner with her dad but would come to stay the night. He couldn't fucking wait. He wondered if missing her after one day felt like this, what it would feel like not seeing her for days, maybe for weeks, and knowing them fancy-ass lawyers-to-be sniffing around her made him see red. But there was abso-fucking-lutely nothing he could do about it. Nothing more than hope that Bella wouldn't want to be with anybody else than him, no matter who was trying to have her.

He knew what Kai offered him was crucial for him to stay sane. He made a plan last night when he could not sleep. He would drive to Seattle as often as possible, and he hoped Bella had breaks when she would come to Forks. He would concentrate on getting his certificate, working, and doing Kai's program all the remaining time. Paul planned to work as little as possible; he needed the money, of course, but since he didn't pay rent and had no loans, he didn't need much. He had the money from Holly and savings that he could use to pay his fees and tuition.

The silver lining would be that he would get back to rigorous training, which would get him back to shape. Last two years he had been mainly drinking and practicing his skills in street fights, which disappointed Kai greatly. It wasn't why he had been teaching him all these years to respect other people, have courage, and self-discipline, learn leadership skills, stay focused, and have confidence. He could still hear Kai's words echoing after one of the times he had bailed him out of the drunk tank.

Yes, it was an underestimation of the decade to say that Kai had been disappointed. Kai had his fucking heart broken, and Paul hated to disappoint him. Not that Kai didn't understand why Paul behaved as he did, he had just expected more of him. He once told Paul that he had wished Paul might be the next instructor in his martial arts studio.

Thinking all this last night made him think about mommy Holly and how she had died. She was attacked on her way home from the quilting club she had been at her friend's house. They never caught whoever it was that stabbed her and left her to bleed to death after stealing her purse with only a little money; she never carried much cash with her. The unfairness of it all made Paul still so angry and feel helpless. He hated to be helpless.

When Bella finally came to him, he grabbed his arms around her and let her cry against his chest. The relief of having her in his arms was so powerful that it almost knocked him down. They both relaxed in each other's arms.

Bella told him all that had happened, and Paul must say that he felt for the fucker. He totally understood why he had come and tried to get Bella back. Paul would have done exactly the same, but he wouldn't have given up so easily. He prayed to God and Taha Aki or whatever deities there were that he didn't ever have to beg her to be with him. But he would, he would crawl if it came to that.

That night was the first ever for Paul when he went to bed with a woman not to have sex with but to hold her, comfort her and make her feel safe and loved. He fucking loved it. The most powerful feeling in his existence.