Chapter 42

Megan was rubbing her sleepy eyes on her way to the kitchen. She was just turning around the corner when she stopped. She saw Bella and Paul in the kitchen. For some reason she took a step back and stayed there watching.

Paul was leaning forward having Bella enveloped between his arms and the kitchen counter. He was kissing Bella's neck while she was making them tea. Bella was dipping teabag into the hot water slowly, up and down, up and down. The movement was synchronized with Paul's hips that were slowly undulating against Bella's back. He had only jeans on, very down hanging jeans that he usually wore and his russet skin on his muscular back was catching the early morning sun filtered through the window. She had to suppress a moan. Jesus that man was gorgeous.

Stop it you fucking bitch. He's your friend's husband. Go back to you room or make them know you are here! She was shouting to herself, but she couldn't help it. She had to watch. It made her fucking miserable to watch them, but she wasn't able to move.

Bella leaned against Paul when he lifted her dressing gown's hem. His hand moved in front of her, and Bella let out a breathy moan. Her hand was still holding the teabag above the tea mug while another arm was snaking behind Paul's neck. Paul grabbed her jaw and turned her head to kiss her roughly on the mouth. Megan could see his tongue licking Bella's bottom lip and sucking her tongue. Her mouth watered.

Paul turned around and pushed Bella against the kitchen island and kissed her his eyes closed. Bella tugged his messy ink black hair and Paul hissed. Megan was so turned on, she had to rub her thigs together to get some friction.

Take you fucking eyes off them and go back to your room! But she was mesmerized. This was the most erotic thing she had ever seen.

Paul moved from Bella's mouth to her neck and Megan could see him trailing his tongue to her ear lobe. Bella bent her head giving him more space. Suddenly Paul's eyes popped open, and he looked straight at her. She felt like she had been tasered and her breath hitched to her throat. His eyes were half masted, and Megan could see the lust and desire in them when he sucked Bella's neck never stopping. It was like he didn't see her at all. She was unable to look away, unable to move. Paul moved his eyes back to Bella and brushed her dressing gown off her shoulder revealing the small turtle and sucked the junction of her neck and shoulder.

"Oh Paul," Bella moaned.

What the fuck was wrong with her, leave!But she was glued on the spot.

Suddenly Paul leaned his head back his lips parted, and he moaned darkly. That sound went straight to Megan's clit, and she woke up from her haze. She turned and sprinted softly back to her own room.

Jesus fuck that was hot. She was so turned on, but it was mixing up with her rising embarrassment and guilt. What the fuck was she thinking peeping them like that. She should have left or make her presence known. Fuck she was ashamed of herself. How she was able to face them again? She was starting to lose her wits.

But oh God those lips, those eyes, those moving pushing hips … she moaned and laid down on her bed. She was soaking wet. She slipped her right hand into her panties and found her clit and started to circle her finger in her wet folds. She imagined Paul's lips on her neck his hands on her body and his cock inside of her. That was all she needed, she came panting lips forming name "Paul" and feeling shit.

Goddamn. This couldn't go on. She realized that things were getting out of hand had been for a while now. Being helplessly in love with her roommate's husband was so fucked up. But she couldn't help it.

She thought about him constantly, even if it was a hopeless case. But you can't choose who you love, right. This man was absolutely a dream. Her heart broke time and time again when she was witnessing his passion for his woman, and he did it openly everywhere, the way he looked at Bella could light a damp swamp into a blazing fire. She was happy for her as much as her jealousy allowed.

But she wanted that too. She wanted Paul. Talking about fucked up.

Megan was sure that Bella knew that she was in love with Paul. Paul knew it, she hadn't been able to control her emotions when she had heard that bitch talking to Paul like he was something dirty and less valuable because he was a Native American. It brought back memories of Nikau getting beaten and almost dying because some people thought that it was wrong that they loved each other.

Bella hadn't said anything, and she hadn't either. Megan should have said something right after Bella's birthday. But she didn't and then she left for NZ to attend his uncle's funeral and when she came back Bella had been stressed and scared not knowing how things would end with the pending lawsuit Paul got for hitting that Cullen prick. It wasn't the time to tell "hey by the way, I'm helplessly in love with you husband. What you suggest we do about it."

But Bella knew she was sure of it, Paul would have told her what had happened on her birthday. She didn't seem to be upset with her though. It was both amazing and annoying as hell how understanding she seemed to be about the situation. It would be easier if Bella hated her, she wanted to hate Bella, but she couldn't, she was such a great person.

And like she was the only one. Hell, the whole campus was drooling after Bella's man. Well half of the campus, another half was drooling after Bella. What a pair they made.

Gah, she might even be in love with Bella too.

Megan rubbed her face and got up from the bed and went to the shower. This wouldn't last much longer. Summer was soon here and after Christmas Bella would move in with Paul. Then Megan wouldn't see Paul as much if at all. Megan felt like crying.

Paul was pissed. When he'd seen Megan watching them, he had decided to give her a proper show. It was starting to get fucking annoying to have her around. He got it, it was her home, and he was a visitor, but that's why they needed place of their own.

Megan had vanished when he had carried Bella to her room few moments after he'd seen her. But he'd been in the mood for some rough fucking, and he had slammed Bella against the closed door and fucked her standing making her scream, him holding nothing back either. It'd been fucking hot. And Bella had been right there with him forgetting totally for a while where she was drawing blood from his back with her nails. That shit always made him lose his mind, he fucking loved it when she lost control and wasn't thinking. They had even managed to break glass from the picture that had fallen from the wall.

That was what he wanted, them being able to be loud and fuck where-ever they wanted in their own fucking home. Or kiss and cuddle while watching tv. Bella had started to be less openly affectionate towards him whenever Megan was around and that pissed him off big time. Megan was avoiding them, which suited him fine, but when he had asked Bella why she avoided kissing him and touching him she had just said that she didn't want to make Megan feeling uncomfortable. Well fuck that. He didn't give rat's ass how that chick felt. And he was pissed that Bella did.

He was starting to lose his shit over this fucked up situation. They even had a fight about it week ago. He just couldn't understand why she put everybody else before herself and by the association him. And she had said he just would have to put up with it while she lived here. He had accused her not wanting to look for a place for them and she had accused him for not understanding her and the stress she was having, they both were. It wasn't a good place to look for a new home.

And she was probably right about that. Last couple of months had been damn stressful time for them both, Bella was struggling a bit with her studies needing to spend all possible time to do extra stuff to keep up with everything and he had to work his ass off so he would be out of the school with the certificate by the end of November. And all that shit that went down with that fucking Cullen.

Well, the make-up sex had been steaming hot, oh boy his wife was a tiger when making up for being "a stupid bitch", using her own words, but he really fucking hated arguing with her. They spend so little time together, he didn't want to fight or not be what they were, pretending to be less in love or less anything. He fucking hated that. Bella had tried to explain that it wouldn't last long, she just felt sorry for Megan. And in the end Paul just could not be mad at her being a caring person, not really, even though he didn't understand.

After the fucking this morning, he had freaked out when he'd noticed that Bella was bleeding, he'd thought he'd been too rough on her. Thank fuck it was only her period that came two days too early.

Bella was now sleeping she got bad cramps and took some pain med to get her through the worst, but they had made her sleepy. It was terrible to watch her when she got those pains. It wasn't every time thank fuck for that, but when she got them, they were bad. Sometimes she vomited and stayed in bed whole day.

He was lying next to her listening her even breathing. She was lying on her side in a fetal position and the sheet had slid of her hip where he saw some bruising, she always had some after they had had it rough. He had been terrified at first, but Bella had told him she bruised easily, which seemed to be the case. And being a bit on a kinky side every now and then, she had told him they turned her on, having bruises he had made on her.

Paul sighed. It was beginning of June and Bella would have two weeks before she could come to him to La Push. She would have some summer courses, but she could do them on-line. Thank fuck for that. He liked Seattle all right, but he missed having her home with him and no damn roommates around. He hoped Bella would move out here after summer. They'd gone to few open house showings yesterday and on the weekend before, but so far, they haven't found anything they wanted or could afford.

Paul yawned cracking his yaws. Some sleep wouldn't hurt, and he wrapped his arm around Bella and nuzzled her hair breathing deeply her scent: green tea and her.

Bella woke up from her medicine induced sleep. The pain was still there, but not as strong. Damn it had hurt. He could feel that Paul was asleep behind her, his body molded against her back side, nose buried in her hair, his hand on her stomach. She smiled; Paul knew his warm hand helped with her pain.

Bella sighed feeling happy pressing her back closer to Paul's front. Paul tightened his hold on her but didn't wake up.

She couldn't wait to get spring term finished, one more big test and then she would go home to Paul. Summer would be relaxing with only two on-line courses other one involving fieldtrip to one of the marine conservation centers on the coast of Washington or Oregon. She and Paul had talked that they could do a road trip and visit one in Oregon perhaps.

She could hardly wait to get away from Seattle for couple of months. It had been shitty spring. Paul's pending lawsuit had been terrible stress for them both and she had really struggled to get all her studies done. Physics had caused her hair to turn gray. She had known that it would be her Achille's heel and there had been times that she had been ready to give up.

She knew that they wouldn't have made it without her dad and Paula. Her dad especially had helped Paul to keep it together giving him pep talks and just being a dad, he never had, and Paula had been there for her insisting her to have less hours in the bookshop and bringing her ready-made meals to work she could take home.

Paula was a treasure. She hoped her and her dad would make it official. They for sure looked like a couple who really enjoyed spending time together. It was shocking to see her dad hugging and kissing, not openly of course but at the back room in the bookshop. She had few times walked in there and her father had turned red as a beetroot every time. Poor dad. Charlie came to Seattle often and Bella had made Paula to go to Forks on one weekend when she was able to take it a bit easier and to keep the shop open on her own. Paul had been working on that weekend.

She had really enjoyed being at the bookshop by herself. She could easily imagine herself as a bookshop owner and at times she had started to think that marine biology wasn't for her after all. It wasn't lack of loving the subject, but it was just so damn hard.

Bella sighed and turned around to face Paul. He stirred but didn't wake up. He was exhausted. All the work and school had really affected him and driving back and forth between La Push and Seattle didn't help either.

She kissed the tip of his nose. He wrinkled his nose but didn't wake up. She watched him sleeping and felt her heart starting to beat faster. It happened often when she looked at him. She was still amazed that he really was her husband, hers. They've been married five months now, known each other for 11. She would like to think that they were extremely happy, but it wasn't exactly so, and she knew it was because of her. Paul was disappointed in her because she had been shunning his affections trying to help Megan feel less uncomfortable around them. What an idiot she'd been.

Paul's birthday was next weekend, and she had a plan, that she hoped would make him happy and hopefully forgive her. She had asked Megan if it would be possible for her to spend the weekend away. Maybe it was a bit rude to ask person to be away from her own home, but she wanted time just for Paul and her. They needed alone time. She had been thinking about going to La Push instead, but she had an evening lesson on Friday, and she needed to study for a bit on Saturday. And it just was faster for Paul since he had a car. She had offered to pay Megan to stay in a hotel, but she had told her she was going to stay with her friend.

Paul opened his eyes and smiled. "How are you feeling baby, any better?"

"Yeah, much better." Bella answered and kissed him lightly on the lips. "We've wasted the whole day sleeping, it's already five. I hate that you have to leave tonight."

"Yeah, me too and that's why, I'm not leaving tonight. I changed my early sift with Sam. I told him that you were sick, and I didn't want to leave you. I'll leave in the morning around 9."

"Oh Paul." Bella felt warmth and relief spreading through her body and she hugged him. "I can't wait the time when we are living together."

"I know. Two weeks and then you'll come home to me and after summer only few months. We're getting there." Paul kissed the top of her head and hugged her tightly against him.

Bella felt so happy and so safe she felt almost like crying. Had she become a crybaby?

"There's something I need to tell you," Paul said and moved so he could see her better.

"What?" Bella asked warily.

"This morning when we were making out at the kitchen, I caught Megan watching us."

"No way." Bella gasped and bolted to a sitting position. "Please tell me you're joking." It hadn't been just little kissing this morning, they had carried away, a lot.

"I hope I was, but I'm not and it wasn't like she was just walking in on us, she had clearly been watching us for some time."

Bella was shocked. This was going too far.

"Why didn't you stop?"

"You were getting my dick out of my jeans at that specific moment so hell no I wasn't going to stop. It was the most spontaneous make-out session in a long time you didn't put an end to and I'm sick and tired of not showing my affection to you when she's around. She chose to watch us. And if I'm honest it made me feel fucking uncomfortable, but I wanted you that moment and I didn't want to stop."

Bella sighed. She had hurt Paul more than she had realize. She was an idiot.

"Sorry Baby, I've been total idiot, haven't I."

"Yes, you have," Paul smiled and brushed hair off her face stroking her cheek softly with his thumb. "You've been infuriatingly so. It has been driving me fucking insane. I want you and I need you baby and we spend so little time together. Seriously. I don't want anybody to tell me when I can or cannot touch you."

"I'm so sorry." Bella felt the damn fool she was. "I promise I won't do that anymore. And it's not like she's respecting us either. What an earth was she thinking?"

"Fuck that I know. Getting turned on by watching us I guess."

"Eww Paul, that's just not right."

"Well damn right it isn't but that what she was doing."

Bella took a deep breath and covered her eyes with her hands. She felt dizzy and nauseated.

"Baby, are you ok? You went all pale?" Paul asked worry lacing his words.

Bella laid down on the bed and nodded. "Yeah, just feeling a bit dizzy."

"Do you want something to eat? I think there is some pasta left from last night." Paul asked brushing her forehead feeling her temperature.

"Well, I would love to have some smoothie. Pasta is a bit too rich right now. There is ready- made bags in the freezer. I might not be a much of a cook, but I'm a wizard when it comes to bagging ingredients for smoothies," Bella laughed tiredly.

"Yeah, I know, and I think that some days you are trying to survive solely on those. You know it's not very healthy in a long run. Your brains alone need more energy than you get out of those. It's one of the reasons you've been so beat this spring."

"Oh, you're my mother now?"

"Fuck no I definitely ain't your mother, but I need you healthy and strong baby." Paul kissed her and left to the kitchen.

She wondered what Paul might say to Megan if he saw her there. She really needed to talk to her after Paul had left tomorrow.

Bella went to the bathroom. She had been totally surprised to have her period early. She was normally like a clockwork and couldn't remember last time they've come any other day than expected. She should visit her doctor for a check-up. She needed new pill prescription anyway.

But damn that it had hurt again, and she was actually feeling like throwing up now, headache was on its way too. But that was mostly because of Megan. She was fast losing her understanding towards her. She could easily understand her being in love with Paul, hell he was Paul and Paul was, well, Paul.

And what had happened on her birthday was also for a reason. But her watching them making out this morning was invading their privacy, even if they were in their shared kitchen. Megan should have told them she was there. Of course, Paul should have stopped but she understood why he hadn't. He had wanted to make a point and he for sure had made one.

She would never again make Paul feel he wasn't the most important person in her life. Because he was.

AN:

Twin68 I love your comments. You are obviously very passionate person. But I must say this, if you are hoping Bella getting into bitch fights or busting nuts you are most likely going to be disappointed. Bella is not a violent person she doesn't believe in violence. You have probably heard the saying "The pen is mightier than the sword"? Bella's words hurt Edward much more and cut deeper than any kick in the crouch or punch on the face would have. Those words made Edward realize what he had done and what it means when you love someone, to see through his jealousy. But I understand your desire to see Bella lashing out and fighting being more outspoken of her feelings for Paul. The reason she didn't get mad at Megan was part because she understood her but also because she didn't feel threatened. She knows that Paul loves her, and no one can take him away from her. But we'll see how things develop from here. I like to believe that Bella has a backbone when it is really needed. But she won't become violent. And don't worry, Paul had told her about Edward, they tell each other everything. His headaches are due to the enormous stress and tension he's been under long time. He'll be ok.

Yeah, I know I'm repeating same theme here, someone being hopelessly in love in our main character and yadda yadda. *sigh* and *eye roll*. But I just couldn't not use this chapter; it was one of the first ones I wrote (the part Megan watching them) and I like it. If someone wants to say now that your story is boring and predictable, and you write same things over and over and over again, I can clearly see why you might feel that way. ;) Gah, you know you're lost when you have to explain yourself. But thank you for all who are still with me and with my awesome couple. I love hearing from you. Thank you.