Disclaimer: I own nothing regarding GWTW
Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.
Chapter Seven
When Kenny had turned four, he had started asking about his mother. Rhett had told the boy she was dead. She had died giving birth to him. Rhett had said, "That is why you are so special to me. It was your mother's final gift to me to bring you into the world." Rhett had made it seem so romantic.
Rhett kept a picture of him and Scarlett on his night side table. It was their wedding picture. He told himself it was because he had to play the part of a grieving husband therefore a picture of him and his wife would be expected. He had shown the picture to Kenny a couple of times, but he had not encouraged his son to look at the picture. Little did Rhett know that when he was out of the townhouse, Kenny would get the picture and talk to his mother. The nursemaid changed so often that they didn't know how often the little boy went and got his mother's picture. Besides, nobody told Kenny no except Rhett. That wasn't very often, but Rhett had learned the value of healthy discipline.
Kenny had asked a few more questions and Rhett had answered his questions. He had not provided the boy with any real information. He had told the little boy that he had his mother's smile, her dimples, and her eyes were the same color as Kenny's. He had lied to the boy and made her sound as loving and caring as Miss Melly
Rhett had not told the boy that his mother was a selfish, self-centered bitch who had only cared about herself. A woman who had no love in her heart to give to the little boy. The woman who considered her children an inconvenience. Something for someone else to take care of. The only people Scarlett had ever loved were herself and Mr. Wilkes. Strike that. The only person she had ever loved was herself.
It wouldn't have mattered if Rhett had told Kenny the truth about his mother's personality, the boy wanted a mother. He wanted to be just like everyone else in the world.
Rhett sighed. It didn't matter how badly he thought about Scarlett. He still wanted her love probably as much as Kenny did.
Scarlett, Ella, and Gerry visited Wade every two months which ended up being mid-way through each semester. They would stay a week. Estes was located in Boston proper. There was a hotel they stayed at that was within walking distance of the school. After the first semester of the first year, Scarlett's friends gave her contact information of their friends in Boston, and she found the people were pleasant and the city was a nice place to live. Nobody was snubbing her for who she had married or what she had done five years ago, seven years ago, ten years ago, and even fourteen years ago. She decided the north wasn't such a bad place to live in. While Wade was in school, she spent a lot of time socializing with other women in Boston. She even made play dates for Ella and Gerry.
Although Wade was a mature, responsible young man Scarlett could not make herself let him travel by himself. The first year he was at Estes she, Ella, and Gerry had traveled to Boston to get him then three weeks later they had all traveled back. The year after that Scarlett decided to spend Wade's Christmas break in Boston. When one of Scarlett's new friends found out what she was doing, Scarlett and her family were invited to her friend's home for Christmas dinner.
Scarlett and her children had a wonderful time. Everyone was happy and upbeat. There were no unhappy memories from the past. It was much better than spending Christmas with the Wilkeses or the Benteens.
When Gerry turned five, Scarlett hosted a birthday party for him while still in Boston at one of the local parks. There were ten of Gerry's friends at the party. Gerry was a popular child with other children. As she watched Gerry interact with the other children, it made her think of Bonnie. Bonnie could be charming when she chose to be. The problem was that she rarely chose to be charming. Why should she bother to be charming? Her father was going to give her everything anyway. Thinking of Bonnie made Scarlett sad. Sad that because of Rhett's poor parenting her little girl had died. Maybe it was best that Rhett wasn't here. Maybe Gerry was safer without his father in his life.
Scarlett offered to have a party for Wade's seventeenth birthday. He said, "I would like that."
The party was held in their suite in the common room. There was a good turnout. Almost too good. There was barely enough room for everyone.
After the party was over Wade said, "It is a good thing a third of my friends weren't in Boston. There wouldn't have been enough room."
"Indeed. I'm so proud of how popular you are. You certainly aren't that shy little boy you once were."
Wade had smiled and said, "No, I'm not."
When Scarlett had visited Wade in March of seventy-nine, he had informed her that he had already received admittance to Harvard despite him only being seventeen. He had taken the entrance exam with a bunch of his classmates as a lark. He was the only one to have passed the exam. The dean of admissions had visited him at Estes to let him know the news. Wade had said, "I will talk with my mother about it but I'm sure she will want me to go on to Harvard in the fall."
"Your mother?"
"My father died in the war."
"Far too many good men died in the war."
"Yes, on both sides."
When Wade told Scarlett the news, she had teared up. She said, "Your father would have been so proud of you."
"I hope so."
"I know so."
With that news, Scarlett decided it was time to leave Atlanta and the South. She knew without a doubt Rhett was never coming back to her. At least, she had his child.
Scarlett rarely interacted with the Atlanta matrons, because every single time she did they asked her about Rhett. Rhett who was not their favorite anymore. She knew they did it to remind her that her husband had left her, like she didn't know her husband had left her. She had taken the scorn and the snubbing from the Atlanta gentry far too long. She didn't need to endure that when she could be warmly welcomed in Boston. In Boston where no one asked her about her husband.
Will had gone to share cropping so Tara was solvent. As long as Scarlett let the Benteens keep all the profits. She had let them keep them. In truth, her half of the profits weren't enough for her to bother with these days. She had finally outgrown her desperate greediness.
Tara was no longer important to Scarlett. Suellen was keeping the books now, therefore there was no reason to go to Tara. Scarlett was no longer renewed when she went to visit. And that was what it was visiting. Going to Tara just made her sad. When she went to Tara, she remembered her wonderful childhood. Her wonderful life that the Southerners had thrown away because of their pride and arrogance.
Scarlett didn't like seeing the reality that was her family plantation. Tara was in such a horrible shape. Not because of Will and Suellen's lack of care, but because of lack of money. Being at Tara made her think of her actions in sixty-six through when she married Rhett. She always cringed when she remembered everything, she had done just to save that piece of dirt. It always made her think of Ashley and everything she had done to keep the man. Keep the man she had truly never had. When she thought of Ashley her thoughts led to Rhett, and everything she had done to run the man she loved away.
The other reason Scarlett didn't like going to Tara was because she was jealous of Suellen. It was plain to see that Suellen and Will were a couple in love. It wasn't a passionate love, but a soft, warm, comfortable love built on respect and admiration. Despite her jealousy Scarlett was happy for her sister. Suellen was married to a good man who loved and adored her. Unlike stupid Scarlett Suellen knew she had a treasure in her hands.
On the way back to Atlanta from her visit in April of seventy-nine, Scarlett had sadly thought, 'If there was no reason to go to Tara, there was no reason to stay in Atlanta. I'm moving to Cambridge.'
At the time Scarlett decided to leave Atlanta, all the servants she had working for her were Dilcey, who did the cooking and cleaning and Pork, who did everything else. Scarlett and her children had gotten self-reliant. They didn't need someone waiting on them. They would go get their food from the kitchen. They would change the sheets on their beds. All their clothes they could get in and out of by themselves. They could style their own hair. They didn't wash their clothes but took them to a washer woman. Scarlett, with Ella's help, could harness her own horse and unharness him. Scarlett and Ella even brushed the horse down at the end of the day. Gerry had been assigned the task of putting hay in the horse's manger. Scarlett made Pork clean out his stall, though.
Pork and Dilcey had chosen to return to Tara, to live out the rest of their lives in as much peace as possible. When Pork had said he just wanted to live in peace, she had thought, 'Me too.'
Scarlett had no idea where Rhett was. She hadn't heard from him since he left her once again the night Gerry was born. She guessed she could ask Mr. Powe where Rhett was, but she told herself that if Rhett wanted her to know where he was, he could contact her. He knew where she was.
Scarlett guessed all Rhett felt for her now was pity and kindness. She remembered him saying the night Melly had died that he would be back often enough to keep the gossip down, but that ended up being a lie. She guessed he couldn't bear to return to the city that held so much pain for him. She didn't blame him. There was nothing for him in Atlanta, but pain and misery. If he wasn't going to try to save their marriage he might as well be gone. With a twinge of guilt, she would remember that she could let Rhett know that he had a living child through his attorney, but she didn't want the man she had lived with after Bonnie's death and before Gerry's birth to return. Furthermore, to mitigate her guilt she would tell herself, 'He didn't want the baby anyway. He had even called her baby a bastard.'
After Wade's announcement that he was going to Harvard the next year, Scarlett came back to Atlanta and started making preparations for her departure from the city.
Scarlett sold the store and all her furniture. She trimmed down her wardrobe by selling a lot of her dresses.
Scarlett packed the green hat. The first gift Rhett had ever given her. She always would keep it. It always made her happy when she looked at it. She had been so thrilled when she had found it at Hamilton House when she had moved back to Atlanta. She would never wear it. The hat was out of style.
When Scarlett thought about her gold shawl Rhett had given her during the war, it was with regret and shame. She wished she had it now. She had thought about buying another one, but she knew it would just remind her of her foolishness.
Scarlett turned the properties Charlie had given her over to Beau. The Wilkeses could use the income. Ashley had given Scarlett a token protest, but he had quickly accepted them after she had informed him she was moving away from Atlanta. After Ashley had gotten fired by the new owner of the sawmills, Scarlett had gotten him a job at Rhett's bank as a Teller. He wasn't great at his job, but he was good enough to remain employed. Scarlett often wondered how a man as smart as Ashley could be so incompetent in his job.
She hadn't wanted to rescue Ashley one more time, but she couldn't knowingly watch the Wilkeses starve even India.
Scarlett had done all she was going to do for the Wilkeses. They were like an albatross around her neck. All they were going to do was drag her down. She had realized that fact the spring after Gerry had been born, however she had tried to fulfill her promise to Melly, but she had decided there was a time limit to promises made to a dying person. She wasn't going to be bound by that promise anymore. She also thought it was ridiculous that she a thirty-four-year-old woman was having to take care of a forty-four-year-old man.
In the last few years, Scarlett had cut back on her servants more and more. It had started with Mammy moving to Tara. Scarlett had never hired anyone to replace Mammy. Who could she find to replace Mammy? Nobody. After that when someone quit, she didn't hire anyone to replace them.
When Prissy had quit Ella had been happy to take care of her little brother. Ella was never alone with Gerry, but the young lady did most of the work involved with caring for Scarlett's youngest son. If Scarlett went somewhere she couldn't take Ella and Gerry, Dilcey was happy to watch the children. Of course, Scarlett rarely went out alone.