Chapter Nine

"Shit, shit, shit!" Jane couldn't think of another word to sum up her feelings after Gabby walked out the door. "Shit."

"It's not that bad, Jane." Kelly observed from behind her apparently distraught friend.

Jane swung around and faced Kelly, her eyes so dark and immediately enraged as the Italian blooded woman realised that Kelly didn't seem to have a clue the catastrophe she may have caused. "You," she bellowed, forgetting that Maura was still asleep. "You have no fucking idea what you have just done!"

"I spoke the truth."

The truth. Truth was more than what had been spoken. It was so much more than that. It was a nuclear bomb on Melissa's life. She had barely survived the Hiroshima like effect her encounter with a deranged killer had had on her life and now Kelly was dropping the woman she proclaimed to love right into Nagasaki just in time for a second nuclear blast. Jane was livid and hurt that both Kelly and Melissa had chosen to keep their nuptials from her. "Fuck," she growled, "Some truths should not be spoken, not this late in the game."

Kelly was still feeling defensive following her encounter with Gabby and as a result was staring at Jane incredulously. She couldn't understand her friend's obvious anger. It wasn't her fault that Melissa had never been open about their marriage. She hadn't necessarily realised until Gabby had reacted as she had that the weapon she had chosen to wield was more powerful than even she could have imagined, but there was nothing she could do. The truth was out there now. "It's been six months, I honestly thought Melissa would have mentioned it by now."

Jane's mouth dropped open in astonishment. There were two people in that marriage and Melissa wasn't the only one to stay silent. "Pot. Kettle. Black."

"Oh calm down Jane. It's not like we had nuptials declaring our love and we didn't invite you. It was purely for green card purposes, happened at the courthouse and happened while we were simply friends." Kelly explained, a little exasperated with the apparent target on her back.

"You didn't tell Gabby that part though, did you?" Jane wasn't impressed.

Kelly shrugged, "Why would I? She honestly should have already known. Besides, I was growing tired of her shit. I made the best of an awful situation, and I saved Missy's life. I'm so fucking tired of being judged for how I went about that."

Jane shook her head sadly. "I don't know what happened to you that night Kel, but you have lost all perspective. Do you even realise what you've done?"

Kelly glanced around the foyer taking a moment to contemplate the consequences and ended up shrugging. Looking back at Jane she said, "They'll talk and it'll be fine. Gabby is wrapped so far around Missy's finger that it won't be more than a blip."

"They'll talk about what?" Maura asked as she made her way down the last section of stairs. "What is going on?"

Jane buried her face in her palm and shook her head. The day was starting terribly. Sucking in a deep breath she relished the touch of Maura's hand on her shoulder as she settled in beside her and looked at her expectantly. "Apparently Missy and Kelly got married, for green card reasons. Except nobody bothered to tell anybody… until now anyway."

Maura took a moment to process that information, glancing between Jane and Kelly and realising that her best friend was nowhere to be seen. "Where's Gabby?"

"She left," Jane admitted, "To end it with Missy, I think."

Kelly's eyes went wide at that information, she hadn't heard what Gabby said before she left. She had walked down the hall moments after and this information sent shockwaves through her body. She was starting to understand why Jane was incensed and concerned. "Oh, fuck…"

"Exactly!" Jane said sternly. "This won't work out well for anyone."

Maura shrugged. As far as she was concerned it was long overdue, and while Gabby would clearly be hurting because of it, she would be better off in the long run. "I don't know about that, Jane. It will be hard in the short term, but I think this is what's best for Gabby."

Jane understood that Maura probably knew Gabby better than anybody at this point in time, but she was shocked by her fiancée's indifference. Even she could see how much Gabby loved Melissa. Nothing rocked that woman quite like the ebbs and flows of her relationship with her lover. This spelled the end. Jane couldn't understand how Maura wasn't more concerned about the devastation that would be left behind in the wake of Gabby's relationship sinking. "Are you kidding me right now Maura?"

"Not at all, Jane. Gabby will be better off because of this." Maura replied matter-of-factly.

"Sure," Jane said sarcastically, "Let's just watch her steer right into an iceberg and keep on sailing in the hopes she doesn't sink!"

Kelly realised she was pretty much the iceberg in Jane's metaphor and started to wonder if that's all she was destined to be. Her goal had been to be what Melissa needed, but she already knew if Jane was this concerned about Gabby, it was because of Melissa and that left Kelly with so many questions. The most pertinent being whether she had been selfish in her pursuit to the detriment of the woman she loved? Had she just inadvertently become the sort of person she despised? Someone who would put themselves above the person they loved?

Kelly backed away slowly, recognising that Jane and Maura were too busy staring each other down to stop her. She retreated to her guest room and closed the door, locking it behind her. She had a lot of thinking to do.

Jane noticed Kelly skulk away, but was more concerned with Maura at that moment in time. "And what about Missy huh?"

"What about her?" Maura asked with a quirk of an eyebrow. "She made this mess. She will have to deal with the consequences."

It had been a long, long time since Jane had seen the side of Maura that sounded so cold and she didn't like it. "That's my friend you're talking about!"

"You haven't exactly been acting like one lately." Maura retorted. She was much more skilled with the verbal punches than Kelly, and it showed with the way Jane recoiled at the insinuation.

Jane turned and paced back and forth across the foyer, eventually she stopped and looked back at Maura. Her body shook with frustration because Maura knew how to hit her where it hurt and she didn't know how but all of a sudden it felt like they themselves were in the middle of a war. "You're right. I'm not going to continue to repeat the same patterns. When she needs me, and she will, I'm going to be there."

"Fine," Maura glowered at Jane, "You do that."

"Oh I will." Jane confirmed with arms folded across her chest. "I will!"

In the fifteen minutes it took Gabby to walk from Maura's to her own home she managed to work herself into a terrible state. She had started looking at her entire lifetime with Melissa and all of the lies and deceit that had plagued their relationship. They had broken up the first time because Melissa had cheated on her with her best friend Rachael and the second time it was because Melissa had wanted to leave and chase her dreams. Since she had been back Gabby had gone above and beyond for her, and all that she had copped in return was a woman intent on self destructing. A woman who refused to go to therapy and appeared content enough sleeping with half of the interested women in Launceston. A woman who had forgotten to tell her one very important game changing thing - that she was married.

It was a cool morning, but Gabby radiated with heat from power walking and her anger, which was the only thing fueling her. If she didn't use her anger, she would have been an emotional puddle of goo on Maura's floor. She was done being lied to. She was simply done. Patty Smyth and Don Henley were right, there was a danger in loving someone too much.

It was still dark out when she let herself inside and found herself quickly greeted by Charlie, who nuzzled her hand and whimpered a little. She knelt down in front of the dog and rubbed behind his ears, the spot he most liked attention. "Hey boy," she whispered softly, "What's wrong?"

He walked over to the master bedroom door, which was closed, and pawed at the door. Gabby frowned, it was unlike Melissa to shut Charlie out. Some mornings she would find him curled up next to her girlfriend, and those were mornings she could smile. Those were mornings she could pretend for a moment that everything was right with the world. This wasn't one of those mornings. There wasn't anything right with her world, and at that moment there wasn't much right in poor Charlie's world either.

Coming home to end her relationship with Melissa was something she had done once before. Except she had been greeted that day and things had escalated before their inevitable end. There wouldn't be one more gentle touch this time. Gabby was a different kind of broken. There was something about this betrayal that she just couldn't shake. Perhaps it was the til death do us part of it all and that she wasn't the one blessed with that honour.

Gabby opened the door quietly and Charlie immediately bounded into the room and launched up onto the bed. He started licking Melissa's face, which definitely spoiled what little opportunity Gabby had for one last peaceful moment before she tore apart the one thing that mattered most in her life.

"Ugh, Charlie. Stop it." Melissa mumbled sleepily as she attempted to push the exuberant German Shepherd away.

"He's just making sure you're alright." Gabby said flatly. "I don't think he appreciated being shut out."

Melissa sat up and rubbed the sleep from her eyes. She glanced over at the nightstand and the digital display of the alarm clock. She looked back at her girlfriend with worry. "What's happening? Are you okay? Is everyone else okay?"

"No. I'm not okay." Gabby stood rigidly, her body bracing itself for the emotional fallout it knew was coming.

Melissa was out of the bed quickly and by Gabby's side, needing to double check that there was nothing physically wrong. She reached beside Gabby to turn the light on and gave her girlfriend the once over. She noticed some fresh bruising on her right hand. Looking into Gabby's green eyes she could see a storm raging, and it made her nervous. "Gabby… Who did you hit?"

A sad smile graced Gabby's lips. She had been given the perfect opening. "Your wife."

For a moment Melissa was confused but then it all dawned on her very quickly. She shuddered involuntarily at the realisation. She also cursed Kelly's name. "It's not what you think…"

"It doesn't matter what I think." Gabby interrupted coldly. "The only thing that matters is that yet again you have kept something important from me. I'm tired of the lies Missy. I can't do it anymore."

"Gabby please… just let me explain." Melissa begged, painfully aware that the latest sin of omission was the final straw. She had never told Gabby because it was a mere formality. It wasn't going to have impacted a single thing. When her career was done they would divorce and she would return home. She hadn't wanted to upset Gabby by trying to explain that, especially after she ended up romantically involved with her 'on paper' wife. "I didn't want to upset you. I didn't want you thinking it was more than it was. It was just for a green card."

Gabby's face was hard. She heard what Melissa had to say, but it didn't change the fact it had been six months. Six months since Melissa had begged to come back. Six months of not saying a single word. The only satisfaction she felt was knowing that Kelly's eagerness to rub salt in the wound would probably backfire and cost her any shot with Melissa too. "You had six months. Instead you let me get blindsided by your damned wife!"

"I'm sorry." Melissa didn't know what else to say.

"Have you even started divorce proceedings?"

Melissa stepped back and sat down on the end of the bed, her eyes dropping to her feet. She hadn't even thought about it. She had been so busy being locked up in her trauma that a silly little marriage for a silly little green card had turned into a very big deal. She gently shook her head in the negative, bracing herself mentally for what was to come.

Gabby looked right at Melissa, but her eyes glazed over making it seem as if she was looking right through her. Her heart hardened. "We're done. I'll give you the weekend to get your stuff out."

Melissa nodded slowly, her brain shutting down to stop the hurt from hitting immediately. "Okay."

"Don't call me. Don't text me. If you need someone. Your wife's in town."

Melissa flinched with each sentence. She felt every word like a knife through her heart. She needed a drink, or a warm body to take the edge off. Somewhere in the deep recesses of her brain she knew that was part of the problem, but she pretty much didn't care. Gabby was done. Who the Hell cared what she did to cope with life anymore? She sure didn't.

Gabby called Charlie over with a pat to her thigh and closed the door behind them. She took him outside and fetched his leash. She needed alone time with her dog and a walk was a great way to do that. Halfway down the street the tears she had been holding back ran freely down her face. An intense ache permeated her gut; the physical manifestation of emotional pain.

She took out her phone and sent Jane a quick text message.

It's done. She's not okay. Please help her.

Just because she couldn't be in a relationship with Melissa anymore didn't mean she immediately stopped loving her or caring about her. She still wanted her to be okay. To be safe. To be happy. She just couldn't be the one anymore.

As for her? She wasn't okay either. She made a quick phone call, "Hey, it's me. I need to talk. Can we meet?"

Between the apparent cold war that had popped up in an instant between her and Maura, and it being a little after five in the morning, Jane had been able to pull up outside Gabby's to look out for Melissa within five minutes of receiving the text. She had actually run into Gabby at the front gate on her way out. They shared a brief look, which conveyed all the words that neither spoke.

Thank you.

I've got this.

Gabby pressed her front door key into Jane's palm then walked away.

Jane watched Gabby go, absolutely torn. She suspected Maura was very, very wrong with her beliefs. Gabby was not okay. She might not be okay for a very long time. She wanted to help, but Gabby had people. She had Maura. She had Alec. She probably had others as well, but at that moment, Melissa only had her.

Jane inhaled deeply and exhaled in mental preparation for what would come next. She let herself inside and was immediately greeted by Charlie who anxiously bounced between Jane and the bedroom door. Jane figured that Melissa was holed up inside. "Good boy," she said softly before knocking on the door and calling out, "Missy, it's Jane. Can I come in?"

The bedroom door opened moments later and Melissa walked straight into Jane's arms which had opened reflexively. She wrapped her own arms around Jane's back and buried her face against her shoulder. She didn't say a word. She just focused on the glass panels in the front door, her eyes tracking every angle and line of the design. Her mind was desperate to think about anything other than what had just happened.

If it had been anyone else, besides Maura, it would have felt incredibly awkward the amount of time she stood there just holding her friend. In fact Jane was fairly certain that her fiancée in the current mood she was in wouldn't appreciate the time she spent holding Melissa, but she didn't really care. She had wasted months in the background letting someone else fumble the ball. Melissa needed help, now more than ever. Jane had been a shitty friend to her. One good night in six months wasn't enough and that was going to be rectified because they shared a bond that transcended simple friendship.

Melissa finally let go and took a step back. "Is she really here?"

"Yeah."

Melissa nodded thoughtfully. She glanced over at the glass panels once more, sifting through her thoughts before returning her eyes to Jane. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I should have. Of all people, besides Gabby, I should have told you. I just… I don't know…"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." It was true that she felt hurt that Melissa hadn't told her, but in the same breath she knew that if it was a big deal it would have been mentioned. The mistake was in having not told Gabby. There was no point making those consequences, which were already devastating, worse.

"I've lost myself, Jane." Melissa admitted quietly, her eyes resting on the wall behind Jane's shoulder. "I lost myself before it happened. I've been gone a while I think."

The way Melissa couldn't bring herself to meet her eyes sent Jane right back to their early days. She looked as lost if not more so than the day she had been put on a mandatory psych hold. It worried her. She placed her hand gently on Melissa's forearm and searched for eye contact, when their eyes locked she asked, "Do you think you need a psych stay?"

The softness in Jane's eyes helped Melissa react calmly. This wasn't someone she cared about telling her she had no choice. This was someone she cared about genuinely afraid but still choosing to give her agency over her own body. She was thankful, but it made her feel sad. She wished Gabby had shown the same kindness in the past, because that was a moment in time that changed their trajectory forever.

If only she had gone on to represent Australia, having never had that psych stay. What could have been then? Would she and Gabby have found their way back together? She sure wouldn't have felt any need to leave to play ball in the United States. But then, she supposed it may have changed the relationship she had with Jane and the connection they had developed. Standing there, her entire life metaphorically on fire, she realised she wouldn't have changed that. Jane was in her life for a reason, and there were many other turning points after their doomed romance that could have changed her future with Gabby for the better. She wasn't going to wish away her connection with Jane.

"Missy?"

Melissa focused back on Jane, shrugging away the thoughts she had buried under. "Sorry, I was just thinking about the last time things were bad."

"Yeah, me too."

"I need help," Melissa admitted, well and truly aware that she was calm because she felt mostly numb. She wouldn't feel numb forever. The reality that Gabby had just broken up with her would eventually crash down on her head and Hell would break loose. She would drink. She would drown in her sorrows. "I just don't think I can do clinical and cold again."

Jane let go of Melissa's arm when she realised she was still holding onto it. She instantly missed the connection because it was a tactile reminder that in that moment Melissa was okay. "Then I'll figure it out. You don't have to go through this alone."

The Jane Rizzoli standing in front of her was more like the old Jane. The one she could rely on in the past and not the one that had allowed her to push her away when she had returned to Launceston. It had been too easy to do and Melissa regretted doing it, because she realised that Jane would have helped her from the very beginning, if she had only allowed it. "I'm so sorry Jane."

Jane furrowed her brows in confusion. "For what?"

"For pushing you away. For letting things get as bad as they have. For not trusting you."

"No." Jane responded firmly, "You don't have to apologise for that. You went through something horrific. There's no dictating how to deal with that. I'm the one that should be apologising. I let you push me away. I told myself Gabby had it handled, and I should have known it wasn't something she was equipped to help you with. She hasn't experienced that level of terror. She hasn't looked into the eyes of a psychopath. I have. I should have stepped up sooner."

Melissa shook her head. "No. I didn't want you having to relive the Hoyt stuff because of what happened to me. I pushed you away to protect you."

Jane closed her eyes and shook her head almost imperceptibly. When she opened her eyes again she said, "I'm a big girl Missy. I'll let you know if it's too much for me, but otherwise I don't want you holding back from me ever, okay? If you need to talk to me, talk."

"Thanks Jane."

"No problem at all," Jane replied, while rubbing her hands together and glancing down at Charlie and back to Melissa. "How about some breakfast?"

Melissa watched Charlie's ears perk up upon hearing the word breakfast and he quickly ran off in the direction of the kitchen. It was a brief moment of respite from the darkness surrounding her and she smiled, choosing to motion for Jane to follow Charlie. "Come on, I suppose I'll feed you both."

Jane followed and asked hopefully, "Please tell me there's bacon?"

Melissa managed a small chuckle and shook her head at the situation she found herself in. "There's bacon, but I'm not sure I want to risk the wrath of Maura by letting you have any."

"Hey, what Maura doesn't know won't hurt her!" Jane replied cheekily. It wasn't often she had the chance to partake in the deliciousness of bacon and she wasn't going to miss an opportunity to do so that morning. Especially given how early it was and how it would inevitably turn into a long day. She had work, but she was already planning to call in if it looked like Melissa needed someone to help with her heavy emotions. Wouldn't necessarily be the best look calling in on her first week on the job, but she wasn't worried because at the end of the day the top brass knew exactly what they were getting with her.

Melissa put some food down for Charlie and looked back at Jane, who had planted her long lanky frame against the doorframe, her arms folded comfortably across her chest. Melissa smiled. It felt nice to have something that was between them. She had gotten the sense that Maura wasn't a big fan of hers in recent times and while she understood to some extent, it hadn't helped her one bit as far as opening up to either Gabby or Jane. They both worshipped the ground Maura walked on. So it was nice to see that Jane was trying to be the friend she once was and was willing to share something with her and her alone. Even if it was simply bacon.

"How do you want your eggs?" Melissa asked before crossing the kitchen to open the refrigerator and pull out the ingredients for the morning's breakfast.

"Whatever's easiest." Jane wasn't too fussy, especially if she had bacon on her breakfast plate.

"Poached it is."

Jane watched Melissa go about making breakfast, studying each action closely on the lookout for any cracks that may appear without warning. A hesitation or a microexpression, anything that would require her to launch into action. She knew they were in the calm before the storm and the seas were about to get rough. There was a brief moment when Melissa's back was turned at the stove that she thought she saw hesitation, but it was a blip on the radar and they made it through breakfast, washing the dishes and an early morning walk before the storm rolled in.

The sun was up when they arrived back at the house after walking Charlie a fair distance. It was nearly seven in the morning and Jane was already feeling it, not used to getting up quite as early as she had that morning. They let Charlie go in the backyard and walked in the backdoor. Melissa excused herself to shower and change for the day, which was one luxury Jane wasn't going to get that morning.

Jane sat on the couch and watched the morning show on one of the local networks. The news items distracted Jane long enough that when it occurred to her to actually look at the time clock on the screen, it was 7:30 and Melissa had been in the bathroom for forty minutes.

Jane knew Melissa liked her showers, but forty minutes was excessive, even for her. She stood up and walked out of the room and down the hall, stopping at the bathroom door to listen. She heard the water running, but couldn't hear much else. She knocked on the door sharply twice and called out, "Everything okay in there Missy?"

She waited a bit but heard no response, which caused her to worry. She knocked again, louder this time and said, "Missy, talk to me. Don't make me come in there!"

There was still no response, so Jane tried the door, it was locked. "Fuck," she mumbled under her breath. Worst case scenarios instantly popped into her head and as much as she wanted to respect Melissa's privacy, she couldn't risk it. She took several steps back until she reached the opposite wall then pushed off and gained what momentum she could, dropping her shoulder into the door as she barrelled into it.

The door gave way and busted open. Jane's eyes immediately searched and she initially felt relief when she realised that her worst case wasn't reality, but her heart lurched as she processed what she was looking at. Melissa was sitting at the base of the shower, knees drawn into her chest, still in her sweats and t-shirt, sobbing profusely. Jane approached slowly, putting her hand under the water she realised the hot water had run out and it was cold. She quickly turned off the faucets and reached for a towel.

"Jesus, Missy." Jane stepped into the shower and attempted to wrap the towel around her stricken friend. Melissa wasn't exactly co-operative, curling up even tighter, shaking and sobbing.

Jane decided for the short term the best she could do was to sit her ass down next to her friend. She felt the cold water soak through her pants, but paid it no attention. She drew her knees up just enough to fit in the shower and wrapped an arm around her friend's shoulder. Jane then drew Melissa closer to her own body in the hopes of sharing some body heat. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

Melissa shifted just enough to wrap an arm around Jane's torso and bury her face against her chest. Her entire body shook from the intensity of her sobs, her body and mind having reached its breaking point. She clung to Jane desperately as the one person she had left that hadn't yet abandoned her completely, at least as far as her emotionally driven brain saw things.

Jane rubbed her hand up and down Melissa's back in an attempt to soothe her distraught friend. She knew that Melissa had abandonment issues that she had never truly unpacked stemming from her parents death in early childhood, which was only worsened by Rachael's death. Gabby's accident and nearly dying three years prior had been a trigger, and that would have been the end of Melissa if not for a simple little safety being left on. She would never have gotten to know the woman that helped change her life.

As a result of that knowledge Jane was on edge. She had been on edge since she knew Gabby's intentions to end her relationship with Melissa. She was genuinely terrified that she couldn't reign the situation in before it got out of hand. She wasn't going to be able to do it alone, but she knew Maura would immediately lean on institutionalisation and that was the last thing Jane wanted for Melissa again. She worried though, that it might be her only option. She would exhaust every avenue she could before that moment though, she owed it to Melissa, and on some level she felt like she owed it to herself too.

Jane just knew that no matter what happened, this time she didn't want to look at herself in the mirror and feel like she was left wanting. Melissa was her friend. Melissa needed her help. Melissa deserved her best. She would give it.

A/N: Bonus chapter time! What can I say? I had some spare time, and some excitement for all the drama headed your way, that I managed to get the launching pad for the next phase written. I hope you all enjoy. Have I made you nervous? Also, I wonder who Gabby called?