Her hips circled, but her legs ached. Her arms could no longer hold her weight. Every muscle twitched under the strain and sweat laced her with unpleasant smells that her biggest fan washed off after every dance. Soleil wasn't sure if she was still dancing or if the floor beneath her bottom promised a break. In her mind, she was still standing at the pole, trying to be beautiful, but when she looked down at herself, she was sitting. Her legs stretched out, her body naked. Her left thigh trembled. Everything was stiff and yet it was supposed to be supple.

Her stomach rumbled silently as hunger had been gnawing at her for hours and yet she had been given nothing to eat – because food meant she had to go to the restroom, and having to do so wasn't befitting for a goddess.

Her throat still ached, felt dead, when she turned her head and caught sight of the bucket in which she had to pee. It was humiliating, but her captor had done nothing else. He didn't beat her when she obeyed, nor did he think about having sex with her. These were little things for which she was grateful, even if the circumstances remained oppressive.

For a moment, Soleil dared to close her eyes. She had only been in this place for four days – assuming she had kept track. Every day he disappeared for at least eight hours, so he had to have a steady job. That was a time window in which she usually fell asleep from exhaustion. Away from that, she danced all day.

There was no plan that sounded good enough to work. If he got behind her idea of escaping, he would punish her. Another problem she had to avoid. But nothing was clicking. No scenario in her head was crowned with success.

Her captor had been gone for what felt like two hours by now and although Soleil's eyelids hung heavy as lead, she hardly dared close an eye. Sleep made her worthless. Vulnerable enough so that he had already laid on top of her twice to be closer to her.

The loud bass still pounded in her head as her thoughts drifted. There was no more restlessness within her. Everything inside was just functioning. It took too many resources to nitpick over things she couldn't get around, anyway. Still, there was uncertainty. Without a plan, she would die in this place. The icy cold on her skin underlined it.

Face contorted, Soleil wrapped her arms around her knees. If she made herself small enough, she could gather some warmth. Even if it was very little.

How she would have loved to tell Illumi about all this. He would have had a chance to be a friend and help. Somehow.

Slowly, Soleil fell to her side, letting weakness win and thoughts circle. Her captor wanted everything from her. Love, attention – he wanted to be her owner. Almost like a ruler complex, as if he had to defend his territory and force all offerings from it. It sounded like something that could be used. Like a plan that had no form, but at least something like a vague concept. There was hope behind it, sinking somewhere in the depths of blackness. Trapped behind tiredness and the urge to sleep.

Soleil followed both, letting herself fall, blocking out the torment in the background and clinging to the meaningless glimmer that lurked behind. Peace waited. A security that she could surrender to. Safety that shattered into a thousand pieces as a bang reached her.

Rushed, Soleil jerked her eyes open again, sat upright and greeted her prison with blurred images that only subsided when the haste within her had settled. Heart pounding against her ribs, blood rushing in her ears, the only thing she was shown was the man she wanted to escape from.

"I am home, my goddess!" His joyful voice echoed in her ears. Fatigue brought a headache and with it a lack of enthusiasm.

She merely gave him a nod; humble because it still promised more assurance than revolt. He overlooked her lack of enthusiasm and instead dropped into his chair. The smell of greasy food followed him. Soleil's stomach growled.

"Dance for me." He was ready for more hours of her numb body caressing the pole. "You danced so beautifully yesterday, I actually thought you were doing it just for me. Like I was the love of your life. Your boyfriend."

Instantly, Chrollo popped into her head, quickly replaced by Illumi. They both would have been better to her than that guy over there. But talking to him was preferable to having to dance. She needed the break. Just a little longer.

"My boyfriend?" she echoed, putting her leaden head to one side and looking at him out of half-open eyes.

"Yes, someone you're pouring your heart out to. Are you falling in love with me now?"

It was risky, but he was a man who wanted his possessions to be perceived as such. "No."

"No?" He raised his brows. "Even though I'm so good to you?"

"I already have someone by my side." It was probably one of the most pathetic lies she could bring herself to tell and yet there it was – the only salvation she could think of.

"That's not true." Pent-up disbelief spread through him, bringing tension she wasn't allowed to tease. She had to direct it with tact.

"Yes, it is." She lowered her head so that the tightness in her throat squeezed. "We started out as friends. I met him shortly after the man you brought to the bar." She tried to speak slowly, believably. "And then I found he'd stolen my heart."

"You've got to be kidding!" Snorting, her captor jumped back up, slapped a hand on the table at his side, and gave Soleil a look. She eyed him barely noticeably from below. "Dance!"

"If it's all right that I keep thinking about him..." Far too slowly, she drew her legs in to pull herself up, but he beat her to it, grabbing her by the shoulders and pushing her back onto her bottom.

Then he whirled around. His aim lay straight at her things, from among which he dug out her mobile phone and unlocked it with a simple swipe. She had never been a fan of using all the other safeguards.

"Who is it?" His hiss made her skin pocked.

"Illumi," she replied dully.

He was tapping away on the display, seeming to read the messages she'd exchanged with the Zoldyck, and for a moment she was glad that it had been an eternity between the messages and those seconds by now.

"It says friends. You wanted a friendship, Titania!" His voice had risen to a bark as he looked at her.

"As I was saying," Soleil started again, "we met afterwards and fell in love quickly. It may sound cheesy, but ... it was love at first sight." She sighed. "The easiest way would be to ... send him a love message. We avoid that on the mobile because of his job ... but ... I'm sure he wouldn't be mad about it."

Her counterpart merely clicked his tongue. "He's not worth of you, Titania. You've been missing for days and he's not even looking for you. He doesn't know how to value you."

"He knows that very well," she countered. "If he found you, he would kill you for taking his property."

Her words threatened and flattered him in one. In his world, he had to be the noble warrior who had stolen an idiot's wife. A man of honour and glory who wanted only the best for a goddess, who wasn't really one. She was just one of many. A stripper. One of those girls who went home armed in the evening because there were too many maniacs.

"As if that fool could do anything against me." With a smirk on his lips, he typed something into the chat and Soleil could almost hear herself breathe a sigh of relief. His cockiness gave her a chance to at least send out a small cry for help. What Illumi would do with it was another matter.

She hadn't contacted him after moving in. The friendship was still fresh, and he wasn't the sort of person to care if someone else was in trouble. Betting on him was the only card she had – albeit the most dangerous one. It would either kill or save her. Or maybe she would find another way out of this misery.

Something would happen.

As her captor tossed the phone aside and threw himself back on the chair, Soleil could already hear her muscles groaning.

"Now dance. And while you do, remember that I'm the man your heart belongs to. Not someone like that guy in your phone who probably can't even take care of himself."

She said nothing in reply to his words. She had said enough. Her throat was already parched, and she still had to muster enough strength to dance. Wobbly, she gathered herself to her feet, ultimately finding her footing on the bar. Only then did he turn on the music, and her senses had to follow. She had to adapt, embody the beat, and ignore the stiff limbs. But her body moved sluggishly. She was always half a beat behind, her legs trembled, and her hands had no strength left. Everything seemed to collapse as the noise in the back of her mind solidified and no help could be reached. Her thoughts drifted away.

Chrollo and Illumi moved back to the foreground and even if it sounded moronic, a spark of fear inside her wanted to swear to become a little braver. Maybe even crazy. She'd started stripping because it was okay. Legal. Not a problem. Not like Chrollo, who probably made his living by stealing. Maybe if she hadn't been such a coward back then, she could have just killed her mother herself. Then it would never have come to this. If she had had more courage, she would have applied for a more decent job that paid more, despite her lack of education. If she had been just a little less disciplined and rational, she would have asked Chrollo out.

It was little things that piled up and became more so with each passing minute. She had missed many chances in life because she had just wanted to do it right without embarrassing herself or breaking the rules; without getting hurt with little chance of happiness. But she was still young and even if she couldn't undo her mistakes, at least she could take a step forward. She had shown courage when she had taken Chrollo's job and she had also used Illumi because she had stood tall without flinching.

If she could find her way out of this half-awake nightmare, she would overcome her insecurity and invite Illumi to join her, to make him a genuine friend and get to know him properly. And she would also try to find Chrollo. For the sake of certainty.

She would get her life together – without compromise.

The little beads of light from her thoughts held her tightly as Soleil let herself fall deeper and deeper into the ideas until she hit the ground with her knees. Instantly, it chased her senses back to the present, where hours had probably already passed and yet nothing had happened.

"What is it?" The indecisive voice of the man still watching her barely reached her.

"I ... need a break," she returned, her throat so dry she could taste blood on her tongue.

"Already?" He snorted. "You're losing grip, Titania. But fine, you can take a break." He moved a little closer, one hand on his crotch, where a bump had formed that Soleil could only vaguely place. Fatigue was wearing on her and the urge for water and food made the thought dim. "I'll do the rest of the work." He gave her a smile. "Just lean back and spread your legs."

She couldn't follow him. His words sounded so out of place that at first she didn't know how to act. But he quickly clarified his wish. Without hesitation, he grabbed her by the knees so that he could spread her weak limbs. Soleil realised too late what he was planning. She was already sitting wide-legged in front of him when he tried to unzip his pants, unable to put up a fight. She was too drained. Too exhausted.

Although she wanted none of this, it still seemed easier to let his lust wash over her. Her eyelids were weighing so heavily that she probably wouldn't even notice. It would make the circumstances easier.

For sure.

Even if disgust had a firm grip on her.

Just as Soleil was about to lean backwards to surrender, her counterpart faltered in his actions. His movements froze, piquing her interest and simultaneously making her watch as he slowly slumped to the side. Her eyes followed him as she closed her legs languidly and noticed the pins in his skull.

She had seen those yellow things before, but her memory was barely moving. The only thing she was aware of just before sleep dragged her down was black hair. Long. Shiny. A little like the weariness that caught up with her; pulled her down, caressed her.

And startled her.

New spirits had settled into her body and though still only the artificial lights shimmered, something had changed.

Her breathing was hasty, chasing through the cracked throat that made her swallow with difficulty. The saliva seemed to get stuck, yet disappeared and made her cough.

In front of her lay the stage on which she had danced. Next to it, a corpse. There was no longer a chain rustling at her neck, and the soft seat of the armchair offered her comfort. Her body was wrapped in a blanket and while Soleil was still trying to piece together what had happened, she was handed a glass of water.

At first, she simply accepted it and noticed nothing in her surroundings. Then her mind clicked into gear. Instantly, she looked over at Illumi, who was leaning against the table, staring holes in the air. His eyes lingered on the stage and moved only slowly in her direction.

"You came," was the first thing Soleil brought to her lips. The vague hope had come true.

"You didn't contact me," he returned. It was neither reproach nor answer, but it was a subject she could get into.

"I'm sorry." She sought a more comfortable position. "I was going to invite you to my place when I finished renovating. So we can both be comfortable and I won't be too distracted by old days." She tilted her head. "Have I been out for ... long?"

"Seven hours." He barely moved, just stared at her from those sombre eyes that were glued to her like the soul of a deadly painting. Probably because he'd seen her naked, though as an assassin he'd probably seen a lot more women that way.

"It was clever to contact me like that," he then went on. "He probably would have killed you in the foreseeable future."

She swallowed, glanced at the body again, and then shook her head. "I don't want to think about that." Then she cleared her throat. "But thank you for coming, even though I've been out of touch all this time."

Loosely, Illumi pushed himself off the table. "I asked my little brother what you do with friends. That was one of his explanations." He seemed impressed with the tasks himself. "I didn't expect most things to be so pointless and yet serve a purpose."

He still hadn't quite grasped the concept of friendship, but Soleil still took it with relief.

"Thank you," she finally brought herself to say. "You saved me."

For a moment, Illumi just looked at her and Soleil did the same; took the freedom to eye him a little longer than necessary. He was a handsome man, though definitely younger than her. His feminine features were reinforced by his long hair, but his arms and taut chest told otherwise.

She dismissed the thought.

Then the silent stare between them broke, and before Soleil could act, Illumi reached out to her. He grazed the blanket, coming far too close, and her heart jumped a beat before she awkwardly placed a hand on his chest and gave voice to confusion. "What are you doing?"

"You've been dancing all this time. Your heel is sore. It's easier to carry you than wait for you." His words were so matter-of-fact that she had to swallow for a moment.

She hadn't even noticed the slight wound on her heel. It was just scraped skin that didn't prevent her from walking. So she pressed a little harder against his chest.

"I'm fine, and I won't keep you waiting long. I just want to get my clothes on before we go, okay?" Slowly, she lowered her hand. "It's not like we're in a hurry, is it?"

"No." He raised his brows. "But wasting time is pointless."

He was simple. His structure seemed to revolve only around which option was the better one. To him, the best choices also seemed the most logical. Time was valuable. Waiting for her reduced that value and although he had already muddied his clear vision by actually acting like a friend, he couldn't seem to let go of the rest. So Soleil wrapped the blanket around herself a little tighter before jumping up and hurrying to her clothes. In a flash, she threw on her blouse and skirt, made a smooth transition from blanket to everyday clothes, and straightened everything out as if nothing had ever happened – even though the underwear was missing.

Illumi didn't take his eyes off her for a second during all this. A bit as if she would escape him if he allowed even a breath of distraction.

"I will take you home," the Zoldyck then began. "Before you let someone else take you and I have to waste more resources."

Mouth agape, Soleil turned to face him. The motionless expression on his face didn't improve the circumstances for a second, and yet she couldn't blame him for any of his words. She had failed when it mattered and Illumi was probably very busy as an assassin. After all, there were masses of rich people who wanted to get rid of each other.

"I'm not that bad a waste of time." With a sigh, she shrugged. "Or did you have something better to do today than save the damsel in distress?"

He actually seemed to think before tilting his head ever so slightly to one side. "No. But it's important that I watch my little brother."

Almost casually, Soleil gestured towards the door. She was ready to leave this absurd place, to just forget about it and tick it off as another problem. It needed more to shake her.

"Is your brother someone who likes to cause trouble?" She snaked down an endless corridor, with steps leading up at the end.

"He hasn't figured out yet that he's supposed to lead the family one day." Illumi followed her quietly. "He's running away. But no matter how far he flees, I will bring him back."

"Sounds like an exhausting boy. How old is he?"

"Fourteen."

A young boy who was probably just discovering the world. Practically a child who wanted to find its own way because it didn't like the family's choices.

The steps ended in a hinged door, which Soleil pushed open with a flourish. Immediately the light of the sun flashed at her, blinding her for a moment because she had spent far too long in the darkness, surrounded by artificial light.

She put one arm in front of her eyes and crept forward a few steps until she was grabbed loosely by the upper arm. Shortly after, she was dragged ruthlessly forward.

It took a while before Soleil could make out something from narrow slits and got used to the brightness. Illumi, meanwhile, had dragged her to a black car. Before she could ask, he left her at the passenger door. A clear sign she should get in; and she obeyed.

The door swung open loosely as she pulled the handle, and the upholstery of the seat invited her to sleep once more as she settled down. Though she had only just recovered, the hours still gnawed at her.

Illumi found a place behind the wheel and as he started the car, she almost remembered Chrollo far too briefly. But in those moments, he had no place.

"How is it you got here so quickly after reading the message?" With difficulty, she steered her thoughts in another direction.

"You were nearby," Illumi replied.

"You had an assignment in this area?"

"My family is at home on Kukuroo." He didn't look at her for a second, instead keeping his gaze fixed stubbornly on the road. He was so different from Chrollo and yet they both possessed charm in their own unique way.

Only then did she notice the proximity. "The mountain? That ... sleeping volcano? That's ... a mere half hour from here!"

He gave her an approving sound back, and it was almost tempting to know that they were almost neighbours. It made it much easier to visit each other.

"Is that something to be happy about?" Although he didn't raise his eyebrows, she was sure she detected the hint of wonder in his voice.

"It is. I mean ... it means we can visit each other more often if we want."

"Is distance a problem otherwise?"

Of course, it wasn't. At least not for an assassin who made a fortune for his murders. For him, there was only the concept of arriving and getting something done. It differed from what others did. He was a complete novice in this field.

"It is," Soleil finally admitted. "For most, at least. You know, most friendships break down over something like this and I'm glad we can get off to a good start with it. After all, we haven't been friends for very long."

"True." The smile on his lips had the strange aftertaste of a psychopath. It was probably his best attempt at appearing normal and it made him a nightmare at the same time, which made her smile.

Still, something about his awkward grin was pretty. The fine features of his face gave him a grace that hung unusually between them. While his body could hardly have sat more upright, his eyes held only lifeless darkness. There was no way to see beyond the nothingness they held. If she could look at him, it seemed she was staring straight into an abyss that swallowed her wordlessly.

The thought pushed the breath heavier over her lips. Simultaneously, she wiped her hands on her legs. It was strange to feel safe and tense around him at the same time. Illumi somehow expressed safety while her nerves remained strained to the breaking point and her hands were glued to her legs. Her heart wasn't racing, but it wasn't beating steadily either.

"W-well, if that's the case, I could drop by your place soon if you'd like." The subject was the only one she could think of. In those seconds, it took a solid meeting place where they could get closer to allow this friendship to blossom. Everything depended on something more relaxed.

"You're free to come, but you won't get in," Illumi replied calmly. "It's not like just anyone can set foot on our property."

"Why?" It sounded unkind the way he turned her away, and yet there had to be more to it than an unspoken accusation.

"Our family estate is made for assassins, not friends," he returned. "You need to be strong enough if you want to get to the house."

"That's ... kind of mean..." She didn't have the skills of an assassin, nor did she want to have to face any obstacles that might even get her killed. After all, his profession wasn't for weaklings or idiots, which also meant that this family's little hurdles had to be metres high for normal people.

Illumi probably knew that, but he had nothing more than a barely perceptible shrug for her. He was the epitome of an alien in society and even if Soleil was probably little different from him in that, she was still better established than he was. With Hell, she had had a proper friend by her side. Very different compared to Illumi.

Her thoughts didn't get far when the Zoldyck stopped the car and gestured for her to leave. Her attention drifted to the house she now lived in, lingering on the facade and making her think of her captor at the same time. She had not been far from home at all and yet no one had found her.

Far too slowly, she reached for the door handle to make her way out as she glanced once more at Illumi.

"Thank you..." She'd already said her thanks, but it didn't seem enough, and the way his eyes were glued to her, she didn't know if he might not be asking for more. All that was left for her to do was to ask. "How much do I owe you?"

His brows actually lifted as a "Hah?" came over him, clearly indecisive as he gathered his words.

"Nothing," he said then. "Didn't you say that's what friends do?"

"Did I say that?" The smile crept onto her lips, far too noticeable. "I guess you know my words better than I do." She gave him a nod. "I'll be in touch and then ... we'll spend a day together."

She didn't give him time to reply. It was a done deal. But Soleil only got to open the door and stride out into the daylight when someone next to her hummed salaciously. The top edge of the door still in her hand, her gaze chased to the side, only to meet curious amber threatening to pierce her.

She had never seen someone like him before, for even though he was probably handsome, he seemed strange. His colourful clothes, the painted-out shapes on his cheeks, his tall stature – he reminded her of a magician combined with a clown, in the guise of a man who defaced himself with his get-up. There was something about the gelled hair sticking up, remembering of fire, that bit with the pink of the shirt underneath his black crop top. It was hard to take in his appearance completely. Looking away was just as difficult.

"Hisoka?" Illumi's voice filtered through to her from inside and it was barely a moment before the Zoldyck had exited as well.

"I wasn't aware you were in company." Hisoka's eyes scrutinised her from top to bottom as the rascal curled his lips and his elegant posture loosened a little. "How does such a woman come to a place like this?"

His statement was tantamount to flirtation, while everything else faded into the background for a moment. But all that lasted only a moment before he turned to Illumi. "I came across something and thought I'd meet you around here. It seems I no longer have to bother writing to you."

"What is it?" Illumi's curiosity remained non-existent as Hisoka thrust one hand to his hips and a card appeared in the other. All at once, Soleil was nothing more than air he paid no further attention to, and part of her was glad of it.

"Chrollo. He's good at hiding," the clown replied. "I'm tired of chasing after him."

While he lost the smile on his features, Soleil loosened her grip on the door and made room. Just a few steps, serving as distance. He was going to Chrollo. To the man she kept thinking about; who just wouldn't leave her mind, no matter how hard she tried.

Illumi reminded her of Chrollo. Lonely hours reminded her of Chrollo. He came unobtrusively to the fore again and again, and just hearing his name from someone else's mouth was enough to make her heart beat a little faster.

She hardly knew him, and yet somehow she had fallen for him.

The men faded into the background as she remembered Lucilfer's hands on her skin. He had made her nervous and even kissed her at the end – though only as part of a poor play. Away from that, he had simply been a man of the books. Together in a room, he had hardly detached himself from the lines and even in the safe, he seemed to have arrived in his own world. Everything about him had been quiet. Thoughtful. Eager to fit into the role she had forced him to play, even though it had been ridiculous. He had simply played along to get his way.

Determination that made him attractive.

As the slam of the car door shattered the memory, Chrollo, too, disappeared from her mind for a moment. Hisoka and Illumi had got into the car and the engine grumbled before the tyres moved and Soleil could only watch as the men disappeared. They simply left her behind because she hadn't noticed anything more. Except the name she had tried to suppress.

Chrollo.

Pressing her lips together, Soleil lowered her gaze. Thinking more than necessary about Chrollo and wondering what he was planning served no purpose; nor did the question of how the men knew each other.

Illumi was an assassin.

Chrollo probably a thief.

Hisoka was a complete stranger.

Barely noticeably, she shook her head. She had to forget the talk. There were more important things than getting lost in unanswered questions. So she turned away from the path and headed for the entrance of the house. She was safe within her own four walls and the strain would finally disappear. Her legs were still weak and restlessness gnawed ceaselessly at her being. The bass and the pole weren't forgotten yet, no matter how far she pushed all that to the back of her mind. It hadn't been the worst thing, but it had happened. Her body remembered it.

It wasn't until she opened the front door that some of the tension seemed to ease, barely, as Roxy and Ace turned their heads in her direction. Circles under their eyes gazed at Soleil, pale skin gleamed sickly, and they both winced as they realised the circumstances.

"My lady!" Like a breath, Roxy took a step towards her. Her blonde hair had been tied up in a tangled bun and her stylish uniform didn't fit properly. The suit looked displaced. "Where have you been?"

"We looked everywhere for you," Ace added as she brushed brown strands behind her ear. "But you were nowhere to be found, so we waited. And the days have passed."

Soleil's eyebrows rose slowly as she looked from one servant to the other. They had only been together again for a short time, and yet these two women held the place in their hearts to care for someone who had been left almost a stranger after all these years. They had searched for her, though not extensively, and they had neglected everything else.

"You could have reported my disappearance," Soleil replied calmly.

"We wanted to," Ace explained, "but the police station in the village was completely ... wiped out."

"Bringing in another agency could have been downright dangerous," Roxy continued. "We assumed you would be left alive because of your money, your youth, and your lack of a man. The perpetrator was a freewheeling psychopath in our eyes after the potential crime at the police station. Bringing in others would have made him cautious."

"We wanted to wait until he became careless to find and judge him. We had to guard the house until then. Finding a suspect isn't easy when he leaves no trace or is unnoticeable." Carefully, Ace placed a hand on her chest. "Forgive us for our incompetence. We could have done better than that and we certainly could have found you in no time, but..."

"Nervousness and the fact it was the first time made us look dumber than we actually are," Roxy finished her colleague's hesitation.

And Soleil understood. They were both still young, about the same age as herself, and they had been overwhelmed. Sometimes that happened. For that, they were human. Mistakes were normal and maybe just proof that no one could be perfect.

"Thank you..." Finally, Soleil struggled to smile. "For being concerned."

""It's nothing, really!"" Defensively, they both raised their hands.

It had its charm to come home.

"I ... am going to take a bath." With a sigh, Soleil had her things taken from her – the bag containing her few belongings – before following in slow steps the lower floor to the bathroom.

But it was only when the door slammed shut behind her and she felt the support at her back that the rest of her gave in. Her legs buckled away, her body slumped and her gaze became caught in the ceiling lights. For what seemed like an eternity, Soleil let the emptiness dominate. She was back. Away from this man. Away from the bass. But when she closed her eyes, she could feel the vibration in her bones.

Sore muscles ate away at her joints, even though she was used to dancing for hours. Only the certainty that the loneliness in this room was real made her pull herself together on all fours.

Much too slowly, she scrambled towards the bathtub to settle down in front of the white marble, still the same as from childhood days, and turn on the water. The loud rushing sound was deafening.

Resting her forehead on the cold stone, Soleil let her mind wander. Chrollo's name kept coming up. Behind it, Illumi's vague expression. The two men had made an impression, and none of it seemed to want to go away. Chrollo's handsome face, the way he spoke, the calmness of his senses, kept crashing into her as Illumi simply smiled at her. He was awkward in friendship, and the way he went about it brought something comforting.

She had actually found a friend. One who didn't know what this friendship brought him and who still followed the "rules". Without him, she would probably have rotted on the pole. Caught in the hands of a psychopath who hadn't understood that stripping was nothing but show.

But knowing that Illumi would soon meet Chrollo had the flavour of ignorance. Not least because she couldn't place Hisoka.

What did this guy want from Chrollo? What was their connection?

Lips pressed together, Soleil's thoughts even dared to ask one question she should have shaken from her mind. A stupid idea she couldn't get away from, even though it was insane.

Was she supposed to warn Chrollo?

It wasn't much – she turned her head on the cold surface – it was nothing, and yet the whole situation came across as useful. If she warned Chrollo about Hisoka and Illumi, she would at least have an excuse to see him again.

Or maybe she should just ask Illumi?

That would certainly have been the wiser decision of all. Illumi would tell her what they were planning. After all, they were friends and he made no secret of anything. However, it would be too dangerous. If this Hisoka was indeed after Chrollo, and that could be dangerous, then her question would only lead to being followed would she seek Chrollo. Going alone and dropping into the unknown was the wiser option.

A stupid idea that shouldn't even exist, but hearing his voice again sounded better than barricading herself in this house and falling into the tiny hole the kidnapping had left behind. She had to push the gloomy clouds away.

"Roxy!" Soleil's voice sounded only half as convinced as the fluttery feeling inside that gave her courage. Part of her knew how insane her wish sounded. The rest clung to the mere idea of looking into those wondrous eyes once more.

The door swung open barely a moment later. "What is it?"

It was the only chance she had. "You can make up for your failure."

The brief silence swept icily through the bathroom as Roxy pushed her back through and nodded. "What's up?"

"Find a man for me. His name is Chrollo Lucilfer. I want to know where he is so I can meet him."

"Chrollo Lucilfer?" Roxy raised her brows. "I think I've heard that name before..."

"Find him." With force, Soleil pushed aside the servant's thoughts. In those seconds, it didn't matter how she knew his name. She just wanted to know where he was. Even when she was acting like a little schoolgirl.

Roxy disappeared in the same breath. All that remained was the restlessness in Soleil's bones. Her thoughts were stuck and yet she felt the beat of the stage in between – until the water touched her fingers and she turned off the tap.

It was all right.

To gush was perfectly fine.

Just as it couldn't be wrong to forget what she had experienced.