The Package is in the Open
Church: Let me get this straight.. You gave this guy our flag?
Caboose: Is that bad?
Church: Bad? Oh no, that's not bad. Next time he comes over, why don't you just help him blow up the whole goddamn base?
Cunningham: (frustrated) How the fuck did you not know that red guy was our enemy?!
Barrus: There, there he is.
Scotty: Where?!
Church: (looking through the sniper rifle) Where? Oh, yeah, oh, I got him. He's sneaking around back behind the cliffs.
Tucker: He must be one smart son of a bitch.
Cut to Donut looking around the canyon.
Donut: Oh, man, I am so freakin' lost. Where the hell is the base?
Cut to the blues
Barrus: Oh, shoot... Hey guys, look at his armor. It's red.
Tucker: Oh man, that means it's their Sergeant.
Church: Well, that makes sense. At least now we know how he got by our defenses.
Barrus: What defenses?
Scott: If you think an open field is a defense, then our defenses are shit
Cunningham: If its a private... Then were gonna need some good forts.
Caboose: I like forts.
Cunningham: Shut up rookie.
Caboose: Uh, hey is it a bad time to say. That he came in the back door where you guys were standing.
Cunningham: Dammit Rookie!
Scotty: Yeah, okay, well let's take him out then.
Church: Roger that. Okay, say goodnight, Sarge.
To Donut as Church shoots four times but misses.
Donut: (crouching) Son of a bitch!
To the blues everyone looks at Church
Church: Aw crap.
Church: (turns to everyone) …What?
Tucker: You're REALLY not very good with that thing, are you?
Scotty: (dumbfounded) What the hell?
Barrus: were gonna get a new achievement, worst shot eve-er.
Cunningham: How the hell did you get into the military?
To Donut.
Donut: (shouting at Blue Base while waving the flag) Hey! It's me! Don't shoot! I'm the guy that bought the flag, remember!?
To the Blues.
Tucker: Oh great, now he's taunting us. That's just embarrassing.
Cunningham: Alright that's it Church? Give me that thing.
Church: Wha-(Basically yoinks the sniper rifle out his hands) hey!
Cunningham: (aims the sniper rifle at Donut) Say goodnight Redtard (fires)
To Donut
Donut: Hey sto- (gets hot on the leg) ah my lap! (Waves the flag still hurt) Hey! Cut that out! You gave it to me! Why you gotta be so mean!
To Blues
Tucker: Shit he's still taunting us!
Scotty: Damn that's Sarge alright, one hell of a pain tolerance.
Cunningham: Fuck... (gives the sniper rifle back to Church) That's it, Boys pack ya things lets get this.
Scotty: Okay...
Cunningham: Aight, (turns to Caboose) rookie, I want you to stay here and guard the base with the other rookie me and the others are gonna go to the teleporter. Got it?
Caboose: Right!
Church: Alright, arm yourself. Let's go.
Tucker: There is no way I'm going through that thing.
Cunningham: Tucker! There is no time to complain, just get inside.
Church: And why would they give us a teleporter if it doesn't work?
Tucker: I don't know, why would they give us a tank that no one can drive?
Barrus: Tucker!
Scotty: I'm getting reeeally sweaty.
Church: We already tested the teleporter, remember?
Tucker: We threw rocks through it!
Moo: Yeah, and, so what? The rocks came out the other side, didn't they?
Tucker: Yeah, but they were all hot and covered with black stuff.
Cunningham: What?
Tucker: No not! not the skin color i mean hot black liquid like stuff.
Scotty: I think they were tar.
Tucker: Alright they were covered in tar
Church: Oh, so I guess that's what this is all about then. You're afraid of tar.
Tucker: Yes. I am. I am afraid of tar.
Church: Tucker, I almost hate to do this to you. (raising his gun at Tucker)
Tucker: You wouldn't...
Cunningham: Tucker, Sorry for doing this too. (lifts Tucker up)
Tucker: Hey What are you doing?
Cunningham: Common knowledge of scientists, when they find something new. they test it on the other guys (aka test dummies). To see if it's lethal or hell or not.
Tucker: What?!
Cunningham: Your the test dummy.
Tucker: Shit wait! Hold on lets think this out whoaaa-.
Tucker gets thrown into the portal and doesn't appear on the other side.
Caboose: …Huh, he didn't come out the other side...
Cunningham:... Shit...
Church: (whispers to himself) Note to self; do not go into Basically's bad side.
Barrus: Soooo...
Cunningham: SO! I have decided, that uhh… We are not gonna use the teleporter.
Jonathan: (instantly appearing) Hey guys.
Barrus/Scotty/Church: Whoa!/Shit!
Church: Jon! We told you not to do that
Jonathan: (walks back) Sorry... So What's going on?
Church: Okay, rookie, Jon you stay here! I'll be back with the flag!
The others leave with they're weapons.
Jonathan: So... You the new guy?
Caboose: Hi I'm Caboose.
To Red Base
Simmons: I still have no idea what you're talking about. I didn't hear any shots.
Patterson: I can hear it.
Simmons: Oh really? What does it sound like?
Patterson: it was four shots. Like bam, bam, bam.
Simmons: Wait a second, that's only three bams.
Grif: Bam. (sees Church through a sniper rifle) Wait a second, we've got a Blue guy on the move out there.
Simmons: Where's he headed?
Grif: (looks to the left) Oh crap. It... It's Donut. And he's got something... (zooms in) It looks like... (sees that it's the Blue's flag)… Patterson, call the others, Simmons, get the Warthog.
Patterson: On it.
Simmons: Heh, you mean the Puma?
Grif: Yeah, keep making jokes. That'll win the war.
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