Everything Old is New Again, I Think

[Season 2 Start]

Welcome back to the Story

The pelican flies of to Blood Gulch, which was, surprisingly snowing. With static noises and radio sounds were heard.

Purple: Come in Blue Command, come in. This is Medical Officer DuFresne. I have reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha, do you read?

Green: Tell them to give me some chicken pot pie.

DuFresne: Nagle, this isn't McDonalds.

Vic: (distorted) Yes, dude, hello, can you read me? Hello? Check one, check two.

DuFresne: Oh! Say again, Blue Command. I do not read.

Vic: (distorted) Check two. Is this thing on? Hello, hello.

Pink with shorts: Wow, its cold in here.

Nagle: Probably should've word pants then Flores!

DuFresne: Blue Command, please boost your transmission to match communication protocol, Echo, Bravo-

Vic: (audio distortion ends) Yo, I hear you. Calm down, dude, what's going on? Hello, yo, can you hear me, hello?

DuFresne: Uh, roger that Command.

Vic: Sorry 'bout that, I was in the elevator, this thing doesn't work so well in there. What's going on, dude?

DuFresne: Roger tha... uh... is this Blue Command?

Vic: Oh yeah, man, sure, totally! What's goin' on?

DuFresne: You're sure? The Blue Command base?

Vic: Hey, dude. Take it easy. You called me, I didn't call you.

DuFresne: Naw, I know, it's just...

Vic: It's just what, dude?

DuFresne: Never mind. I'm just letting you know that I've reached Blood Gulch Outpost Alpha. I'm gonna make contact with the Blue Squad members.

Vic: Blood Gulch, huh? Alright, let me look here, let me see what it says... Blood Gulch, bleu bleaou bee ehl, bluoea here we go, Blood Gulch, okay. Says here, you wanna make contact with Private Tucker.. ask him about their wounded dude or dudes.

DuFresne: Roger that. Any other orders?

Vic: Anything else.. yeah okay, yeah, it says here whatever you do, don't- oh. Okay, never mind dude, I'm not supposed to read you that part, okay, just uh... you'll be okay, just, uh, be very careful. That's all.

DuFresne: …Great.

Vic: Alright then. Well it's our goal here at Blue Base to provide excellent customer service, and I hope that I have done that today. Uh, if you have any further questions about this radio transmission, you can just, um, you know call back, say "Dude, I've got some questions, what's goin' on." Over and-

Nagle: Oh! Oh! Before that! Can I get uhhhhh... Chicken Pot Pie?

Vic: Ooof! Sorry man were all out of those!

Nagle: Oh well FOCK!

Vic: Sorry buddy, maybe later ill try and order one, anyways Over and Out!

DuFresne: Okay... Private Tucker...

The pelican opens up, walking out were the three, immediately the pelican blew up.

DuFresne: …What.

Flores: Oh no...

[BLUES]

Tucker: Hey, Church, Cunningham, we have a problem.

Church: (in cobalt armor again) I am not your mother, so don't come tattling to me every time one of you does something that the other one doesn't like.

Cunningham: And stop calling me! I'm trying to cook some breadsticks.

Tucker: I'm telling you guys, he's crazy. He keeps threatening me and talking in a scary voice.

Caboose: No, I didn't.

Cunningham: Let O'Man do what he wants.

Tucker: Oh, so you're saying you didn't threaten to cut off my head and give it to Church as a birthday present?

Caboose: You know, I think you're taking my words a little out of context.

Tucker: What? What context?

Flores, Nagle and DuFresne runs up behind Church.

Church: Listen, guys, this competition thing has got to stop, okay? I thought we'd established by now-

Barrus: Established? What do you mean Established? You didn't Established anything.

Church: That's Because you weren't there Barrus. We really have to schedule ou-

Dufresne: (interrupting) Excuse me.

Church: Hey, pal? One second, okay? I'm in the middle of something here. Ah, loo- I thought we'd established by now, I don't like the two of you, okay? So competing for my attention is not gonna do ya any good.

Cunningham: Who the hell do would like YOUR attention?

Church: Someone with high standards, that one.

Cunningham: What a poor excuse of "standards."

Church: Fuck you too, Cunningham.

DuFresne: Excuse me.

Church: (turns around) Okay. Yes. Hello. Who're you?

Caboose: (to Tucker, in his "scary voice") Don't ever be alone.

Tucker: He's doing that thing again...

DuFresne: My name's DuFresne, This guy over here (gestures to Nagle) is Nagle, and this guy (now gesturing to the pink armor with shorts) is Flores... uh, are you Private Tucker?

Church: No, I am not Private Tucker. My name is Church. (turns) This is Private Tucker.

Tucker: Yo!

Church: the one on the kitchen is Cunningham, he's a jackass.

Cunningham perfectly throws an Uno reverse card at Church, in which the latter catches it with his cold metallic hand.

Church: Our incompetent mechanic who's now banned to fixing things here (turns to the sky colored armor) is Scotty, or Scott.

Scott: Hi!

DuFresne: Oh, Hello.

Scott: My lower half got crushed by a tank.

DuFresne: Oh... Do you need any he-

Church: (turns to the Lapis one) Our, kind not so funny, lapis, family man, Barrus.

Barrus was on top of the base.

Barrus: Hi there!

Church: (Turns to Jonathan) Our weird crazy-ass cerulean idiot, Jonathan.

Jonathan was now behind Doc, surprising the latter.

DuFresne: Whoah!

Jonathan: Hi (sniffs) You smell delicious, (sinisterly laughs) Mwuhuuhuhhuhuuh!

Church hits Jonathan in the back of his head.

Jonathan: OW!

Church: And our friend over there in regulation blue, that's Caboose. Or O'Malley, or whatever the hell he's callin' himself.

Cunningham: Call him O'Man if you want!

Caboose: Why did you introduce me last?

Tucker: Because he hates you.

Nagle: Oh hey Michael!

Caboose: OH! OH! David!

Church: What-.

Tucker: wait, You two know each other?

Nagle was standing beside Caboose, with the same height as 6'9" tall.

Caboose: Yeah...

Nagle: Mmhmmm!

Church: And... How?

Caboose and Nagle turns to each other, then turns back to Church and the others.

Caboose/Nagle: Half Cousins.

Tucker: Oh...

Cunningham: An American and an Irishman?

DuFresne: Anyways... I received your call for a medic.

Caboose: Medic? That was like three months ago.

Tucker: Yeah, what'd you do? Crawl all the way here?

DuFresne: I came as quickly as I could. Where's the patient?

Church: Well, she's about fifty yards behind you and six feet straight down.

DuFresne turns around and sees the tombstones.

DuFresne: Oh. (turns back to the Blues) I'm sorry about your loss.

Church: What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks, man, it was tough but, well, what're you gonna do...

Caboose: We didn't like her very much. (whispers loudly) She was mean to other people.

Nagle: How mean was she?

Jonathan: Very very mean, like... Church but female, and more snarky.

Nagle: Wow... (whispers loudly) What a bitch... Who's she again?

DuFresne: Who's in the other grave?

Church: That's uh, that's me. I'm in that grave.

DuFresne: …Uh huh... Of course.

Caboose: See, uh, he, got killed by this uh, crazy runaway tank.

Tucker: Or by the idiot driving it.

Caboose: Oh yeah, and then he became, uh, this really mean ghost, and uh, took over a Mexican robot's body, uh... oh! And then we had to uh, oyathatsright, spray paint him, ah, to make him blue, and now he is alive again, and he is a bionic man... Who... is blue...

Nagle: Oh... That makes total amount of sense now.

Barrus: You know, after what Caboose said, you guys are totally related.

Tucker: Right, and it took us six weeks to get his Spanish setting turned off.

Church: (click) No esta completamente apagado, pendejo.

[Not entirely turned off, moron.]

Tucker: (sighs) I'll go get the Spanish dictionary.

Flores: Oh, I can help you translate.

Church: ¿De Verdad? ¿puede?

[Really? You can?]

Flores: Si señor, puedo hablar español muy bien, después de todo es mi lengua materna.

[Yes sir, I can speak Spanish very well, It's my native language after all.]

DuFresne: Wait, so, no one here is hurt? But uhhh Scott?

Church: (click) No, we're fine, Scotty too. In fact, he and i feel better than ever. See now whenever these two idiots really start to bug me, I can always just turn my ears off. Couldn't do that before.

Caboose: You said they were shorting out.

Church: (click) I'm sorry, what was that Caboose? I can't hear you!

Cunningham: And you call me a jackass.

DuFresne: Well then let me just check you two out, and I'll be on my way.

Tucker: Whoooa… check us out? Is this gonna be one of those things where I have to turn my head and cough?

Scott: Wait, Hold on, I don't wanna get probed by a human, so no thank you.

Barrus: So an Alien is Okay?

Scott: Let me rephrase, I don't wanna get probed by anyone at all, No Thank you.

Dufresne: (holding up a medical scanner) No, I'm just gonna check your vitals.

Caboose: (to Tucker) I bet I have better vitals than you! (to Church) ...What's a vital?

Church: On your way? I don't think so, bud. Aren't you guys here to join our squad?

Flores: No.

Nagle: Yes.

DuFresne: No, I'm just here to help out with Tex, and then assist in the canyon as needed.

Church: First of all, great job on the Tex thing. Mission accomplished. Secondly, the way that we need you to assist, is to help us kill all the Reds.

DuFresne: Well, even if my orders didn't prohibit me from doing that, I still wouldn't. I joined the army as a conscientious objector.

Tucker: A conshe- who?

Scott: Conce-the fuck?

DuFresne: I'm a pacifist.

Caboose: You're a thing that babies suck on...?

Tucker: No, dude, that's a pedophile.

*RECORD SCRATCH*

Barrus: TUCKER, Not IN front of the childminded what the heck!

Nagle: Now where have I heard that before?

Church: Tucker, I think he means a pacifier.

Tucker: Oh yeah, right. Man, I was totally thinking about something else.

Church: That's real classy, Tucker.

DuFresne: (finishing his scan) Well, everyone here checks out. I'll come back and check on you before I leave the canyon. Can you tell me which way to the Red Base?

Tucker: Why? You said you weren't gonna fight 'em.

DuFresne: I'm not. Resources are low so I'm on loan to both armies to help whichever side needs me at the time.

Cunningham walks up to them, wiping off some dough.

Cunningham: How the fuck did our recourses get low?

DuFresne: Someone in a yellow armor, spend their entire savings and used all of our recourses to make a giant pelican, and just flew off.

Church: Man, that is so freakin' lame.

DuFresne: I'm just gonna go to Red Base and see if they need any help.

Church: Well, if you're gonna go up to Red Base, I'd recommend putting away that little medical thingy of yours. They see you walking up carrying that thing, they're gonna shoot it right out of your hand.

DuFresne's medical scanner gets shot.

Church: Yeah, just like that.

Another shot goes between DuFresne and Church.

Cunningham: Scatter!

[REDS]

Sarge and Donut in the middle of the snowy canyon. Donut is using a sniper rifle.

Sarge: Nice shot, cupcake.

Donut: Thanks, Sarge!

Simmons: (firing his machine gun a few times) Oh that's right, suck it, Blue!

Grif: (standing up in front of Simmons) Yeah, sneak attack!

Wine: You don't yell sneak attack, on a sneak attack mission.

Hanby: (terminator voice) You, BLUES have all been target of terrorisation!

Simmons: (to Grif) Sit down, you dumb ass, I can't see.

Fong: Get ready ye mo'fukas!

Patterson: Ah shit, Hey Jon!

Sarge: Hike up yer knickers, fellas. Let's go get 'em.

Fong: Wait hold on, What'd you say?!

So how do you feel about Nogla and Caboose being related?