Just saw the RVB: Restoration Trailer…
HOLY SHIIIIT!
[S2] In Stereo Where Available
Flores sat on the driver's seat roaring the engines, Sarge on the passenger seat right next to the Better Spanish Speaking Pink armored wearer, and Simmons, on the turret, nearly slipping a fall, and Wine covering two chairs on the back of Sarge and Flores.
Simmons: Jesus...
Simmons noticed the pink visored soldier, but soon ignored him.
Simmons: Alright, hit it!
Wine: Oh shit, I forgot to bring my wate–.
He was unheard as the Warthog sped up, driving past the broken tank that was once Sheila. All the while, Church the transparent ghost coughs as the smoke from the grenade and the smoke bomb dissipates revealing an unconscious body of Jonathan.
Church: What the he-? (cough) Who flashbanged and tried to blow me up with a grenade? …And why am I coughing? I don't have lungs.
Unsuspectingly from Church, the Warthog of the Reds flew over him. Till the military vehicle landed with a bam, that made Church notice the Jeep.
Sarge: Yeehaw, Rid 'em, Cowboy!
Wine: Ow! I wasn't ready!
Church backed away in surprise.
Simmons: Hey Sarge, Flores... Hold on a sec...
The Warthog stopped as the Maroon hopped off the vehicle, both the white striped and normal red jumped off the vehicle as well, all while the Pink stayed on the driver's seat.
Simmons: Did you see something weird, Sarge?
Sarge: Yes, I did. Once, when I was a small child, I saw a man, who claimed to be my uncle, do this thing with a garden hose that still haunts me to thi-
Simmons: Whoa whoa whoa,
Flores: Uhh, There was a time I went to Cuckatoos-.
Wine: Shut up.
Simmons: I meant did you see something weird just now. Like five seconds ago.
Sarge: Oh, then no...
Simmons: What was all that stuff about your uncle?
Sarge: I keep telling everyone he wasn't my uncle! He wasn't!
Flores: Uhhh…You want to talk about it?
Wine: How long was the garden hose?
Simmons: Wine!
Wine: What, You want to ask the question too?!
Simmons: No, that's not the- (groans) Don't be insincere!
Wine: That was genuine!
Sarge: Just get back in the damn jeep.
Sarge jumps back to the right seat of the Warthog. Back to the Blues, Lopez the now cobalt painted robot ran back, now surrounded by 2 shaded colors of blues, one normal blue and one green.
Tucker: Hold it right there, hombre!
He turned to Caboose.
Tucker: I told you throwing that grenade through the teleporter would work! Church is gonna be so impressed.
Scott: I feel like he won't...
Tucker: Oh, nahh... He will.
Caboose: And Sheila will love me again, and this time for who I am and not just for my stunning good looks. But for those too.
Scott: Oh god, you've become as delusional as Tucker!
Tucker: Hey Scott, consider this; "Kiss My Ass."
Nogla: Yeah! She'll love me too!
Caboose: YES... Wait NO!
Lopez: Al diablo con estos mamones azules y verdes. Son tan estúpidos como parecen.
[Damn these blue and green bastards. They really are as stupid as they look.]
O'Malley: Your soul is a cavern of lies!
Nogla: …Yeah tell 'em Poet!
Tucker: What the hell are you two talking about?
Lopez: Has ganado esta vez, pero su reinado cruel de tiranía será de breve duración. Los rojos van a ser vengados–
[You may have won this round, but your cruel reign of tyranny will be short lived. The red people will be avenged-]
Scott: Shouldn't have traded that Flores guy...
Tucker: Yeah yeah yeah, nobody cares. We need you to fix our tank.
Lopez: Nunca voy a trabajar para el enemigo. Que un mal esté sobre su alma y su casa.
[Never will I work for the enemy. May a pox be upon your soul and your house.]
PRIMARY OBJECTIVES:
FIX EVERYTHING
HATE THE ORANGE ONE
REGULATE THE AMOUNT OF EXPLOSIVE ARMAMENTS SHOULD THE AMBER ONE SHOULD HAVE
HELP HANBY
CALL MOM MORE OFTEN
Lopez: Por mucho tiempo mi raza ha sufrido, pero muy pronto, veremos el porvenir de un nuevo día. El amanecer de nuestro tiempo está cerca, y cuando la oscuridad acontezca su gente, los trabajadores del campo sabrán que éste es su momento.
[Long have my people suffered, but very soon we will see the coming of a new day. The dawn of our time is near, and when the darkness befalls your people the workers of the field will know that this is their moment.]
Scott: Jesus Christ he talks too much...
Tucker: And I thought Church was bad... You think if I kick him in the switch he'll shut up?
Caboose: Um, David, Scott, I think that maybe we should begin the going of the running now!
The Red's enamored jeep of death sped up as fast as it could.
Caboose: (whispering loudly, clearly panicky) The fast running!
Scott: Tucker, we got fat shit inbound!
Tucker: Huh?
He looked to his side and noticed the heavy vehicle.
Tucker: Oh crap!
Simmons and Wine were ready to attempt fire, but were stopped by Sarge.
Sarge: Hold yer fire Simmons, Wine. This is payback time. Flores, gimme the wheel.
Flores: Okay.
Simmons: Go for it, sir!
Wine: (sigh) Will fuckin' do...
Tucker: That's right, we're just casually strolling away.
He starts backing off.
Tucker: No cause for concern...
Caboose: Running time! (he runs away)
Nogla: RUN FOR YER LIVES!
Tucker: Nice and casual! Morons!
The three ran in circles as Scott looked at them and sighed. While circling each other around they successfully reached Blue Base. Lopez just watched...
Lopez: Sí, sí, corran, perros cobardes. Que sea sabido que el gran López ha ganado en éste día, y...
[Yes, yes, run away, you cowardly dogs. Be it known that the great Lopez has won this day and...]
Sarge was now on the driver's seat approaching the blues in a now rapid state.
Simmons: Aim for that guy right in the middle, Sarge!
Wine: Yeah, kill 'em Sarge!
Sarge: Way ahead of ya, Simmons!
Lopez turned around
Lopez: ¿Qué está pasando?
[What is happening?]
SYSTEM OVERRIDE PROTOCOL. REMOTE DESTRUCT SEQUENCE
The Warthog approached ready to make a friendly fire.
Lopez: No me han dado opción.
[You have given me no choice.]
ACTIVATED
Beep
Flores: What was that?
Beep
Beep
Simmons: Hey, Sarge, Wine, do you hear a strange beeping sound?
Beep-Beep-Beep-Beep
Wine: Whu-what the-...
Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep-
As the Warthog got close to Lopez, it flipped over backward twice before landing.
Lopez: Perdonadme, padre.
[I'm sorry, father.]
The Blues re-approached the cobalt-Lopez, which the aforementioned robot was now in deep depression.
Scott: Holy crap!
Tucker: Alright! Not bad, robot dude!
Caboose: I knew he would save us. I knew it! Robot people always like me. ..It's because of my awesome dancing.
Nogla: Should somebody grab the dead-guy right next to the ghost-guy?
Lopez: Mi espíritu está quebrado. Mi gente me ha abandonado y ahora todo está perdido. Haga conmigo lo que queráis...
[My spirit is broken. My people have betrayed me and now all is lost. Do with me what you will...]
Tucker: Yeah, okay, man. Can you just shut up and fix our tank?
Caboose: Dancing time!
Scott: Oh god...
Nogla: Dancing time? Dancing TIME!
Lopez: El corazón de este guerrero llora en dolor.
[The heart of this warrior cries out in sorrow.]
Lopez looked at the two attempted robo-dancers
Lopez: ¿Por qué estos dos se burlan de mí con su baile absurdo? ¿Son esos movimientos supuestos a hacerlo parecer robot?
[Why do these two mock me with his foolish dancing? Are those moves supposed to make him look like a robot?]
The robot looked down disappointed.
Lopez: No lo hacen. Estoy ofendido por esto.
[They do not. I am offended by this.]
Caboose: Dancing time!
Nogla: WOOOH!