Disclaimer: The original characters and plot are the property of E.L. James. I'm just having a lil' fun. No copyright infringement intended.
AN: It seems some things never change. Since we've gotten to that point, here you go...
Hard Rule: No geography bashing. The setting could be Narnia. It wouldn't change the story.
Public Service Announcement: This story was not finished years ago. To keep people from have to "go back and look", here's a direct quote from the Prologue, "Hello. I'm back. I'll be editing and/or re-writing some chapters before adding new ones. You may or may not want to re-read a chapter. If you chose to do so, don't be upset because there was no change. If you chose not to do so, don't be upset if you can't follow the storyline.
Everyone else, enjoy.
Chapter 5 | Let's Review
STEELE
"Ok, Christian, if that's what you want."
"No baby, this isn't what I want at all. I want us to be married and, if nothing else, leaving together, but this isn't about me. You asked me for time and space to decide what you want and to reach your goals. Ultimately, this will make you happy. Please know, I'll give you whatever your heart desires, including my absence."
"I guess when you put it like that, I understand your point of view." I don't want his absence, that wasn't my goal.
"Look Ana, Steven's almost ready to take off, so I have to go. I love you and I hope to see you again soon. Laters baby."
"Laters." I hear myself whisper, then he ends the call. My bottom lip trembles and tears fill my eyes. He's gone.
Why do you care? Isn't this what you wanted? You told him you needed time and *space* to get your thoughts straight. Whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean.
It means, I need time to process the changes going on in my life and space from him trying to influence my decisions.
Oookaaay… help me out here.
Do we HAVE to do this AGAIN?
Yes, until I understand the fucking malfunction. WHAT CHANGES DO YOU HAVE TO PROCESS?
Kate breezes through the living room in a blur, making a beeline for the kitchen and the beloved coffee maker, she can't operate. "Oh Ana. I love you." There's Keurig Breakfast Blend waiting for her. Meanwhile, I sip my English Breakfast Tea, and fight with myself over relationship management styles. "Hey Steele. What's on your mind? You're gonna gnaw that bottom lip of yours off."
My head whips in the direction of her voice, "Huh? What'd you say?" I'm not really paying attention to her.
Finally
Shush.
"You're a million miles away girl. What's wrong?" She stares at me for what feels like a lifetime. Her cheerful demeanor slips away, replaced with a look of realization. Before I can mutter a word, she starts, "What did that son of a bitch do now?" As I try to formulate a response, she says, "Don't cover for him, Ana. Tell me what he did!"
I have to shake my head and rattle my brain a bit first, then I begin to speak, "He hasn't done anything, Kate. We talked earlier this morning. He called to tell me he was going…" that's as far as I got.
"GOING?! You mean like GOING to a tuxedo fitting? No? Maybe he's GOING to a wedding cake tasting? Still no? Hmm, then, he must be GOING to look at venues for the wedding that was supposed to take place in back in July, before he showed his true colors and invaded every aspect of your life? Wait, no that would mean he'd have to bring you along, but you're obviously still here, so where, pray tell, is he GOING?"
And you wonder why I can't stand her.
Hush.
"He's going on a business trip, Kate." I wave my hand at her, trying to sound more nonchalant than I feel. Kate may be my roommate, but she doesn't know me as well as she believes.
Ignoring my response, she continues her attack, "Business where? Him slithering into his pretentious whirlybird, taking off for a power breakfast in Spokane wouldn't put that look on your face. Where. Did. He. Go." I've never seen her grit her teeth. It's not a good look.
She's showing her true colors.
Stop it! She's just being Kate. Give her a minute and the whole thing will be over.
Wrong! It most definitely isn't over. I come back to the conversation a few seconds too late. "There. The putz always reads his emails. I'll give him 8 hours, then his ass is mine."
I move to stand behind her seat at the dining room table. My mouth falls open, "KATE, what did you do?!" She looks back at me over her shoulder, gesturing to her open laptop screen.
Date: Friday, November 04, 2011 at 8:47 AM PDT
To: Christian Grey
Subject: How Could You?
From: Katherine Kavanaugh
Shithead!
You selfish, son of a bitch! Where the fuck are you? You couldn't even offer to take Ana with you? ! I knew you were bad news, but this is an entirely new level of asshole.
You've got more money than twelve countries can print at any one time. Why the fuck do you need more?! It's a pitiful excuse to jet set around the world instead of standing by your fiancée and supporting her life goals. Simply because you can't control her, you tuck tail and run? Coward!
Get your ass back here pronto, you spineless fucking clown, before a real man takes your place.
FUCK YOU GREY!
~ Kate
I re-read the message she sent to my fiancé, praying the words didn't say what they said. For once, I hope his BlackBerry isn't charged. Even if it is, I hope this ghastly vitriol drowns in a sea of GEH executive orders, protocols, procedures and M&A mandates. Somehow, in the back of my mind, I know he saw it. Picturing the look on his face, I can hear him growl, then below.
"THISBITCHISOUTOFHERFUCKINGMIND!"
I cover my face with my hands, "Kate, how could you? You know I love him. Why are you constantly antagonizing him? Hasn't Elliott talked to you about this?" I know he has and I know he's getting fed up with her behavior.
Elliott's a great, big teddy bear, until you fuck with his family, especially Christian. I heard a resonant male voice the other night, giving Kate what for, "l know you're not talking about my brother! Whatever's going on between him and Ana is for them to work out. Stay the fuck out of the way!"
She turns around in the chair to face me, "Someone has to tell him about himself. I kinda understand your hesitation, being in with him and all. I, for one, don't believe he feels the same way about you. His family won't check him, Mia thinks he walks on water, Elliott becomes his Protector Almighty and don't get me started on his pare…"
In the middle of Kate's soliloquy, her Inbox signals a new message. With a smirk, she says, "Not as dumb as he acts, huh?" I've gotta walk away. This'll only get uglier. Nothing good is gonna come from manhandling Christian. Where's my phone. I'll send him a text. He has to know Kate acted on her own. As I pick up my phone, there's a bloodcurdling scream.
"THATMOTHERFUCKINGRATBASTARD!"
I almost trip over my feet getting back to the living room, where Kate's now on the phone. "Elliott…Baby, he has to be held responsi…I'm not picki…I know what you said, bu…Baby, you should've seen… She looked so… Yes, I remember. Ok. Hey, are we still on…" She stops abruptly and gapes at the phone in her hand.
When she looks at me, her eyes are on fire. "Your pathetic excuse for a fiancé forwarded my message to Elliott. No worries, your wannabe Master of the Universe saw it. I'll bet a double shot of vodka he calls before you go to sleep tonight." She then has the gaul to smile and wink at me before gathering her jacket, purse and now infamous laptop to leave for work.
Real peach, that one. With friends like her, you can only pray for enemies.
I shake my head, trying to erase this scene from my mind's eye. I've gotta get ready for work. I don't have time to fool with whatever shit Kate wants to stir up. She's jeopardizing her relationship with Elliott. I'll text Christian a little later. After pulling myself together, I head out the door.
The ride to SIP is quiet, more so than usual. Occasionally, Luke eyes me in the rearview mirror, concern written all over his face. He can tell something's wrong, he just doesn't know what. Christian always says it's Luke's job to know me which I understand. The sad thing is, in this short amount of time, Luke knows me better than Kate does.
From the front seat, his worried voice asks, "Ana, are you alright?" I smile, despite myself. He finally learned to call me Ana. It only took a full eight-hour day of me not responding to him and Hanna continuously asking him who he was talking about, for the message to sink in.
"I'm fine, Luke. Thank you for asking." He nods and lets it slide, for now.
When we stop at the third or fourth traffic light, he can't take it anymore. Luke puts the Audi in park and turns around to face me. "I won't pry" he says. "I know Mr. Grey's away on business and I know Taylor's away on vacation. Please believe you can count on me and Alex. If you're not feeling well or you need anything, please let me know. Ok?" I know Luke's on the outside looking in. I don't hold him responsible for anything. I do wonder how much Jason knows. I have a feeling not much or Christian wouldn't have made it to the airport without a security detail.
Someone's gonna be in trouble.
Serves him right.
This time, my smile feels brighter and my voice sounds stronger when I say, "I believe you Luke. I really am fine," physically, "if that changes you'll be the first to know. Deal?"
He seems mollified by my response this time. His shoulders relax and he lets out an audible sigh, "Deal", then, he turns back around and puts the SUV in drive, before the light changes, so we can continue our trek to SIP.
I'm staring at my computer screen, picturing Christian's reaction to Kate's horrific email. How can she think she's helping me by attacking my fiancé? I'm trying to reconcile what Kate did with how I feel about what she did. Elliott evidently wasn't pleased.
"Ana?" Hanna pops her head into my office.
"Yes Hanna."
"Remember, there's a meeting with Mr. Roach and the editors in five minutes. He sent an email yesterday." I frown. Yeah, I saw it.
"Ok Hanna. Thank you." She gives me a small wave, then she's gone. I've got a sneaking suspicion Something Wicked This Way Comes. Meetings with Mr. Roach aren't my favorite. He's not a pleasant man. I get to the conference room in the nick of time, only to see him roll his eyes as I find a seat.
Mr. Roach stands at the end of the conference table, clears his throat and begins, "Ladies and gentlemen, I know you've heard the rumors about Seattle Independent Publishing merging with another local business. This meeting is to confirm the rumors are true and the merger is complete. SIP is now a subsidiary of Grey Enterprises Holdings, Incorporated. Ms. Ros Bailey is here to discuss what this means to each of us."
A hush falls over the room. Courtney, from the Fiction Department, shoots a spiteful sneer my direction. The other editors look around the table, each one worried about their job, no doubt. I know Christian can throw us all on the scrapheap if he likes. He wouldn't do it though, he doesn't like putting people out of work.
Wait a minute! Ros is here? Why is Ros here? Why isn't Christian here?
Does Taiwan sound familiar?
Oh, yeah. He's on his way to Taiwan. It's strange seeing someone other than Christian talk about GEH.
Shhh, before you miss something. Else.
"…continue to report directly to Mr. Roach, who then reports directly to me…"
REPORTS TO HER? What the fuck? I manage to hold a poker face. My mind is racing. Why will Roach report to Ros?
I told you to shut the fuck up!
"…questions?"
"How does this merger affect our particular jobs?" Tyler, from the Reference Department, jumps right in. I guess someone had to get the joint jumpin', at least he can be civil.
"Mr. Anderson?" Tyler nods his affirmation. "Your previous employment contract with SIP is no longer valid. As a new GEH employee you're required to sign a Non Disclosure Agreement, which protects proprietary information, also each editor and assistant editor is subject to a performance review, which will determine his or her ability and longevity within the company." WOW! Performance Reviews? How the hell are they gonna pull that off? Our individual performance has never been reviewed, to my knowledge.
Logan asks, "What's the protocol for these reviews?" He's indignant. Logan works in Non-Fiction and has been with SIP for a couple of years. He's still an Assistant Editor, but he reads twice as many manuscripts as all of us at the table combined and he hasn't recommended a poor author yet. He's well-respected for his work.
"Mr. Glenn is it?" Logan nods. "Mr. Glenn, it's customary for GEH to review the current level of operations for a new subsidiary, then look again in approximately six months or whenever necessity dictates."
"Our Human Resources Department uses an overarching model, which can be tweaked to fit the industry in question. At a high level, we include an Employee Self-Assessment, Production Statistics, Accountability Evaluation and Leadership Team Assessment, specifically from Mr. Roach. After the review is complete, Mr. Roach will meet with each editor, one on one, to discuss the evaluation's parameters, your results and any next steps."
Next steps?! What next steps?
DAMMIT! Shut up and listen.
"How long will this head-hunting expedition take?" Marcus is also from the Reference Department. He gives no bullshit and takes no bullshit. He'd rather you sack him right here, right now, than to play footsie.
If he fucks with GEH, his wish may come true.
"Mr. Cantor?" Ros is trying to be diplomatic. Marcus doesn't understand diplomacy. Marcus is a wannabe Grey. In every sense of the phrase.
"Yes. I'm Marcus Cantor. I've been with SIP for five years. My department has passed various internal and external reviews with flying colors. It's difficult to verify sources, cited by a third-party mind you, referring to ancient artifacts, runes, philosophies, lifestyle behaviors, etc. Our Reference Department has an impeccable reputation in the world of publishing."
Geez Marcus. Defensive much.
Speaking directly to him she says, "We don't doubt you Mr. Cantor." Ros then turns her attention to the room at large. "GEH is not here to destroy SIP. We understand your reticence. This is new and new can be unsettling. Please know, we do have your best interest at heart. Our Human Resources' review will be completed by next Wednesday. You'll receive your results throughout the day Thursday and Friday." One week? Hmm.
You can't possibly believe this wasn't in the works before today. Hello Steele, we're talking about Grey here.
"Are there any other questions?" We're all speechless. "Well, if you think of anything, please feel free to contact Mr. Roach. He'll convey your questions and concerns to me and we'll go from there." Ros turns and leaves the scene of the crime.
Roach stands and clears his throat again, "Let's take a fifteen-minute break then return here for an impromptu Q&A session. You may not have felt comfortable speaking candidly with Ms. Bailey. I want to give each of you a chance to say whatever's on your mind." He seems nervous. "See you back here in fifteen." Roach practically runs from the room.
This still doesn't make sense to me. Why is Ros in charge of SIP? Christian buys and sells the companies, not Ros. Since when would an acquisition report to the second man, or woman, on the totem pole?
When did you become versed in the world of M&As? Thought books were your thing?
I'm not and they are, thank you very much, peanut gallery. We both know delegating isn't in Christian's vocabulary. He handles everything, even the things he tells Ros to handle. Christian lets Andrea do her job, so he doesn't have to do it. He leaves Alex alone because Alex has connections Christian doesn't have and he lets Jason do his job, so Jason won't choke the shit out of him.
You forgot one.
Huh? No I didn't. Who?
What about Gail?
Christian lets Gail do her job, so he doesn't have to explain the charred BDSM paraphernalia to the fire department. I giggle at the thought of Christian cooking, unfortunately drawing attention to myself. See what you did, dammit!
Of course, Courtney speaks, "Something you'd like to share Ana? This is your fault after all. I mean, GEH never took an interest in a podunk operation like SIP before you came along. Then, miraculously, you get engaged to Mr. Grey and here we are. You've been here all of twenty-four hours and you've got an office with a PA. I guess you'll be running the whole shebang pretty soon, right?"
How dare this busybody bitch try to blame this on me. "I've gotta pass the performance reviews too, Courtney. I've gotta fall in line with any new policies and procedures like everyone else. So, don't put this off on me. If you wanna know why Mr. Grey purchased SIP, ask Mr. Roach or Ms. Bailey. Hell, call GEH and ask Grey yourself, but don't hold me responsible for this."
Her face turns red as she says, "Ana, we all know why GEH bought SIP…"
"No, Ms. Beckner, you don't." Courtney stops mid-sentence. We all look at the door to see Ros, her nostrils flaring and fire in her eyes, focused directly at Courtney. Mr. Roach is standing in the background, out of the way, I suspect. Ros is beyond warm, " I recommended SIP to Mr. Grey, before he met Miss Steele, so your theory is incorrect." Ros looks around the room, "Anyone who feels as though they can't or won't work for GEH, please leave now. I have no problem labeling this a hostile takeover and advising Mr. Grey to act accordingly." She executes a military turn, then marches away.
I know what Ros said about buying SIP isn't true. Nonetheless, I'm thankful she said it. While I really wanna chase after her I know I can't, not after that conversation. That's not to say I won't try to get the fuck outta here. I stand and head for the door, but Mr. Roach is still in the doorway. DAMN, if looks could kill, I'd be in the morgue. "Mr. Roach, sir, would you please excuse me from this meeting? I don't have any questions and I'd like to prepare for the HR review." Please, please, please let me out of this shit. I've never begged this man for anything. I even give him my best puppy dog eyes, to which he's obviously immune.
"No Miss Steele, you're a member of this team and have to face the music with the rest of us. Besides, everyone will sign their NDAs now and I need your Jane Hancock." SHIT, SHIT, SHIT! Why do I have to sign another one of those fucking things?
Because no one knows you already signed one, remember?
Have I ever said 'fuck you' before?
Yes, but 'frankly my dear'…
Whatever.
Exactly.
I quietly return to my seat as Roach enters the conference room, "Thank you for your professionalism during the meeting with Ms Bailey. I want everyone to keep in mind, you still report directly to me. There's no need for hostility toward the Executive Leadership," he stares at Marcus, "or one another," he directs a pointed scowl at Courtney," neither of whom have the decency to look chastised.
"Ms. Bailey described the performance review at a very high level. Is anyone interested in greater detail before having your One On One meeting with me next week?" No one seems to care at this point, they just want my head mounted on a wall.
"Good. Does anyone have any questions or concerns about the merger in general?" No one looks up. I told Roach this was pointless. I could be filing my nails right now for all this meeting is worth.
"You mean to tell me there's nothing on your minds, other than to hold a colleague responsible for my decision? If you don't get it out now, you'll have to wait until your individual meetings. I don't want any pissing or moaning when we walk out of here because our junior staff members won't be given any information until after each performance review is complete." I'm about to bolt from the room when that shrew speaks up.
Agaaaiiinnnn?"
"Mr. Roach, if I may sir?"
"Of course Court. Go right ahead."
"In the event someone doesn't fare well on their review, what will happen?" Welp, this is when the shit gets good. I know GEH won't tolerate dead-weight. If someone can't do their job, they won't have a job to do.
"We're all starting from scratch, Courtney. Anyone whose production, accuracy and accountability isn't within GEH guidelines will be relieved of their position. The new GEH employment contract is effective as of this meeting. Therefore, all GEH policies and procedures are to be observed."
She frowns as she goes on, "So there's no longer any tenure?" I make a conscious effort not to move my head left or right, and not to look up or down. I see Marcus in my periphery sit up straighter than he was a moment ago. I've got a sneaking suspicion Reference will be short one editor soon.
Sadness laces Mr. Roach's voice as he answers, "No Courtney. There's no longer any tenure. SIP is a new addition to GEH. Therefore, we're all basically new hire employees."
Well. Played. Grey!
"There'll be NO bias. Everyone's on a level playing field." Roach has a slight smile on his face as he responds to Courtney and looks at me.
Prick.
Basically.
Well Steele, you wanted to prove yourself. Here you go girl. Your shit stinks too now.
"Are there any other questions? No? Ok. We'll continue to march as is and whether the storm together. Thank you everyone."
I'm so fucking glad when the meeting is over. If one more of those assholes looked at me like I was the cause of this shit, I was gonna scream.
You really do owe Grey yet another 'thank you'.
Thank him? For what? Throwing me under the bus, then bailing when he didn't get his way? Sending Ros to do his dirty work? Trying to make me feel guilty when I stood my ground?
JUST A MOTHERFUCKING MINUTE, MISSY!
You've done nothing but listen to that bitch Kate and find fault with Christian. Now, you have the unmitigated gall and fucking audacity to say he BAILED on you? This is what YOU wanted. It's what you fucking DEMANDED. No security reports, no questions about where you are, who you're with or why you're there, no public commitments, no family obligations and now no job interference. He's not even in the fucking United States anymore. Do you even want him Anastasia? If you don't, please let him go. He deserves better and you know it.
Home sweet home. I kick off my shoes and sink into the sofa, I'm even too tired to eat. Some editors went out for drinks after work, trying to forget the day altogether, I suppose. They asked if I wanted to join them. While I appreciated the gesture, I declined the invitation. Anything could happen.
Since when do you give a fuck about what could happen? Thought you wanted to assert your independence, be like everyone else? Or have you forgotten?
I am independent and I am like everyone else. I know what you're trying to do and it won't work. There are instances where Christian's right and there are instances where he's wrong.
If it helps you sleep at night, then fine. I know it doesn't, so tell it to the bigmouthed blonde.
We've argued about this for weeks. When are you gonna give up?
Never! You're being unreasonable. He all but got rid of your security, wiped his hands of SIP, left the fucking county and you STILL have a funky-ass attitude towards him. He's gonna meet someone else, you know that, right?
Christian loves me, he'd never cheat.
CHEAT? Who the fuck hasta cheat? You told him to kick rocks because he wanted to help you in your career and share his life with you.
I went to school for four years, got good grades and secured a job on my own…
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know the spiel.
You don't understand.
I yawn, stretch and fall back on my pillows. Looking up at the ceiling, I start my mental task list.
- Grocery shopping
- Laundry
- Manuscripts
- Kate's Bitching
- Jose's Nagging
Hmmm? Where to begin?
I get up, wash my face and brush my teeth. I'll check the fridge first. I'm pretty sure I don't need to go shopping. It's blissfully quiet because Kate didn't come back here last night. I guess the Email Escapade is settled and all's well with her and Elliot.
I hate to admit it, Kate doesn't have my best interest at heart. She'd rather see me alone, with Jose or with any ole body other than Christian. It hurts my feelings and pisses me off at the same time.
She's not here to muddy the waters. Let's enjoy the peace and serenity, while we can.
I giggle out loud. You're so dramatic sometimes. Anyway, time to get on with my day.
Groceries? Check…
Laundry? Done …
Manuscripts…I sigh.
Why do I have three of these damn things, again? I actually marked one from a couple of weeks ago "file 13". It was garbage. A blogger or FanFic writer has more talent. The quality of writings Mr. Roach has accepted lately, leaves a lot to be desired. And why are there so many fucking assignments? I hope Roach gets a handle on this soon, before editors start walking out.
Ring…Ring…Ri…
BREAK TIME! Hurry! Get the phone!
I saw a missed call from Christian when I woke up this morning. I know the time difference, but the trick is to catch Christian when he's not in a meeting. After all this time, I hope he's sleeping. Anyway, I don't wanna miss another call from him, so when I hear my BlackBerry ringing, I make a mad dash for the phone. Winded, I pant, "HELLO!"
"Hey, Ana! How are you?"
I have to move the phone away from my mouth, so Jose doesn't hear my exasperated sigh. He's called every other day like clockwork.
Rip the fucking band-aid off, please, or we'll be here forever.
"Hi Jose, how've you been since Friday?" I sound awful cheery in my admonishment. The long pause is welcomed. It's gotten so monotonous, I can recite this conversation in my sleep…
…I'm good Ana. I apologize if I'm bothering you. Kate said you weren't doing anything, so I thought we'd grab some food, see a movie or hang out at your place. Whadaya say?…
I'm brought back to the here and now by the sound of his voice, "I'm good Ana. I apologize if…"
As Jose drones on about an afternoon that ain't gonna happen, I manage to nix another one of the manuscripts. A few "mm hmms", "reallys" and a "wow" or two lets him feel as though I'm interested in his harebrained scheme. Neither he nor Kate wants me to be with Christian, their only excuse being they don't believe he feels the same about me. They forget, or never considered, Christian has to prove himself to me, and possibly, my dad, not to Kate or Jose.
After entertaining his rote conversation for a while, I jump in, "Hey Jose?" I love saying that to him.
"Wassup Steele? You game?"
Rather than giving him my usual, open-ended, non-response response, I'm putting an end to this bullshit. "Nope," I pop my 'p'. He's not getting a chance to whine either, I'm done. "I gotta go, these manuscripts won't correct themselves. One more thing, keep in mind, you can't believe everything you hear from the press. TTYL!" I punched the End button and muted his ringtone.
FOOTNOTES
Something Wicked This Way Comes
a 1962 dark fantasy novel by Ray Bradbury
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Rhett Butler to Scarlett O'Hara in the 1939 film Gone with the Wind
~ Laters