I woke up to a face full of Taslyn's long, thick chocolate hair. I flicked it off and rubbed my hands across my now tickled face with a moan. Neither of us were morning people, so without checking the time, I knew we had missed breakfast. With another groan, I climbed out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I leant over the sink and splashed some cold water on my face, trying to wake myself up.
Wandering around my room, tidying up the mess Tas and I made the night before, my blissful morning ignorance was ripped clean. "Oh shit!" I gasped loud enough that Tas jumped out of bed with a yelp. "What?! What happened?!" She grabbed her wand, frantically searching the room for danger.
I laughed at her frazzled appearance, but it didn't lighten my mood. "Sorry, sweet. You can put your wand down." She huffed, tossing it on the bed, and sank back down next to it. "What the bloody hell was that all about then?" She yawned. "I just remembered I have my first rounds with Snape tonight." I rolled my eyes. Falling into the nearest armchair, I hung my head over the armrest, letting my long hair fall, almost touching the ground. "I don't know what I'm supposed to say to him, Tas."
Last night, during our excessive snack session, I confessed that Snape was mad at me for "embarrassing" him in front of other students. He had gone to the headmaster about my "attitude" and is going to discuss it with me tonight. "I don't understand. I know that he hates the general population, but he never seemed to have an issue with you." She mused. "You seemed to annoy him less than everyone else." She added. "I thought so too. Maybe that's why he got so bent out of shape; he wasn't expecting me to stand up to him."
We lounged in silence for a while, both still groggy from our night of gossiping and bingeing. By the time we were both showered and dressed, lunch was about to be served. We decided we would gather some food and head out to the Black Lake. It was a clear, sunny day – not too hot, perfect picnic weather. We chatted about menial things like schoolwork and who Pansy Parkinson is dating this week before turning to our books and reading in comfortable peace.
There's an orderly silence before chaos ensues – a calm before the storm. I knew Snape and I would discuss more than just my "attitude" this evening. I haven't told anyone about my gift. The only people who know are my family; I haven't ever told a friend, much less one of the most feared teachers in Hogwarts. It's not that my family forbids me from sharing this part of myself; it's that I didn't want the burden of having people know. It's tiring to hear people's minds loud and clear, but it is exhausting to hear them try to cover up their thoughts. My father, a muggle, was always a mess of "Oh shit, I can't think that." Or, "Damn, think about something else, quick." It's even louder, if that's at all possible.
I had long since given up on reading my book. Though it still sat open in my hands, my eyes were fixed on the rippling Black Lake, unfocused. I love being out this far away from the castle; students don't often wander this way. There is nothing for me to hear aside from the small waves lapping at the bank, the breeze whispering through the swaying trees of the Forbidden Forest, and the birds twittering in them. Out here, I am able to focus my breathing and calm my mind into Zen, so that I can't even hear Taslyn's mind relaying the words from her book beside me.
I was so zoned out, in fact, that I didn't notice Taslyn gather her things and stand up. "Hazel?" I heard her call, though her voice still sounded muffled. "Hmm?" She leant down and plucked my still open book from my hands. "I said it's almost 5pm, we should head back before it gets dark." I looked out over the Black Lake and noticed the sky was now soft shades of amber and pink. "We've been out here for almost five hours?" She hummed in confirmation. "It feels like we just sat down." I sighed, standing up and taking my book back from her.
We lazily walked back to the castle. Dinner wasn't for another hour, so we had plenty of time. However, I couldn't think of anything worse than dining with a thousand screaming minds right now. I needed peace and quiet to prepare myself for my impending doom. Entering the common room, I paused. "I'm going to skip dinner tonight, Tas." I sensed she had expected this announcement. "I know. Go get some rest." She hugged me as we parted ways. "Good luck." She called out, ascending the stairs. Luck is certainly what I need right now – and a nap.
My alarm went off at 7:30. I hurried to get ready; the only thing that could make tonight worse was if I was late. I shuddered at the thought. I threw on some jeans and my Slytherin sweater; I wasn't sure if I was supposed to wear my robes, but it was Saturday after all. Although Snape taught D.A.D.A. now, his office was still down in the dungeons, meaning it was only a short distance from our common room. 30 paces, to be exact. I arrived at his office at 7:50, hoping that my punctuality would earn me some brownie points.
With a shaky breath, I raised my hand to knock on his door. Before my knuckles could make contact, however, the door swung open. I was face-to-chest with the dungeon bat himself. Looking up to meet his obsidian eyes, I tried to smile. "Good evening, Professor." Our mirrored feelings of nervousness and frustration were paralysing. He sighed. "Good evening." He stepped aside, and I walked in, my legs shaking. Leaning against the closest desk, I awaited my instructions.
"My – our – rounds include the entirety of the dungeons and first floor." He drawled. I simply nodded as he strode past me, his billowing robes whipping my ankles, up to his desk. I rolled my eyes at his dramatics. He snapped his head up and looked me dead in the eyes. I gulped. He plucked his wand off his desk, spinning on his heel back towards me. "Come." He marched past me and held the door open, allowing me to exit first. With a wave of his hand, his door slammed shut, locks, and presumably wards, latching into place.
I had to jog to keep up with him. Why must he walk so damn fast? It's rather obnoxious. He stopped abruptly and spun around, causing me to crash hard into his chest, just as I had done the night he showed me to my room. He definitely felt my frustration and maybe my shortness of breath, too. Grunting, he grabbed my arms hard and pushed me back slightly. He didn't drop his hands as I had expected him to, and I felt a small wave of comfort wash over him. I admit, I too felt oddly comfortable with his hands on me.
Wait, what?
After a moment too long, he dropped his hands, yet remained close enough that I could feel his breath on my face. "Miss Goldstein, let us not pretend to be ignorant of what is transpiring between us." I bit my bottom lip. Transpiring between us? "Unfortunately, these rounds will continue until you commence your N.E.W.T.'s. That is an awfully long time to play pretend." I nodded. "I agree, sir." He took a step back, creating a small distance between him and our tension. "Sorry for running into you." He began walking at a pace that I could keep up with. "Again." I glanced towards him briefly and caught the faintest of smirks. A win in my book.
We roamed the cold dungeon halls for thirty minutes in complete silence. It wasn't necessarily uncomfortable, but you could cut the tension with a knife. He was anxious again; I could see his clenched fists. I knew I was going to have to be the one to begin this conversation. I cleared my throat. "Sir?" He merely glanced at me through the curtain of black hair that framed his face. "I suppose we should discuss what is transpiring between us, as you put it."
He sighed, slowing down his pace even more so that we were barely strolling. "Yes, I suppose we should." I waited a few moments for him to respond, but got nothing. I chewed on my cheek like it was a piece of gum. "Do you have any idea why we seem to be able to…" I let my voice trail off, hoping he would understand. "Feel each other's emotions?" He finished. My heart hammered in my chest. "Yes, sir."
He stopped walking and glanced both ways down the hallway, ensuring we were alone. It was a little past nine o'clock, so there wasn't much chance that someone would interrupt us. "I am not able to hear another's thoughts or feel their emotions without casting a spell." He was staring deeply into my eyes. I could feel he was searching for any hint of fear. I am not afraid of him; I never have been. "The only conclusion I am able to come to, is that it is you who can wandlessly hear and feel." His eyes were so intense that I wanted to look away, but I couldn't.
I felt a lump form in my throat. "Part of me wishes Professor Dumbledore had told you so that I didn't have to. However, I am grateful he didn't betray my confidence." He didn't respond, waiting patiently for me to continue. "You said you knew of my grandmother, Queenie Goldstein." He nodded. "Do you know the nature of her relationship with Professor Dumbledore?" We still had not broken eye contact. The air in the dungeons was freezing, but I started to sweat. "I know that she took part in the battle against Grindelwald. There isn't much information about her involvement, however." He's done research, which is not surprising.
"That's right. She asked that her name be kept out of the articles and books written about the battle. What she did during that time was included, but they kept her anonymous." I felt a wave of realisation wash over him. "She was the Legilimens that aided him?" I nodded; my mouth went dry. "And I presume you share her gift?" I nodded again; I couldn't seem to be able to form words. "Interesting." He mused. "I must admit, I have never met a natural Legilimens." He felt intrigued, yet still apprehensive.
"Nobody knows, sir. Only Dumbledore." He understood. "As I said on Monday, Miss Goldstein, I have no intention of sharing your personal matters." I breathed a sigh of relief, as though I had been holding my breath since the moment I approached his office. "Thank you, sir." We began walking again, but he still felt concerned. "I want you to know, sir, that I had no intention of allowing you access to my mind in class." He nodded. "I know that now." This time, I was the one to stop walking.
"To be honest, it actually scared me." I started picking at my cuticles, not meeting his gaze. "I know." I huffed, not annoyed, just exhausted. "Of course you do." I slowly brought my eyes to meet his. "I don't know what any of this means, sir. How is it that we can feel each other? I am very skilled at Occlumency, and I am told you are too." His brows knitted together; he didn't seem to understand either. "I see Professor Dumbledore did not keep my confidence as he did yours." He quipped. Damn me and my big mouth.
"Sorry, sir. I didn't mean to-" He raised his hand, cutting me off. "It is alright, Miss Goldstein." He wasn't annoyed, praise Merlin. "I am unsure, myself. We will have to conduct some research." I smiled softly at the idea of us working together on this particular "project". "You can call me Hazel, sir." He quirked an eyebrow. "As you pointed out, we will be spending a lot of time together this year." I expected him to detest the idea, shutting me down immediately. But once again, he felt comfortable, as if it weren't uncommon for him to use a student's first name. "I suppose it would be appropriate while we are alone." The barest of smirks tugged at his lips. I smiled, turning to walk down another hallway. "Hazel."
Shivers shot down my spine, and my cheeks burned – I bet they were crimson. That was the first time he has said my name. Why did it sound so good coming from his baritone voice? My knees shook. I looked down at my feet, trying to hide my grin and my flushed cheeks. The bastard had the nerve to feel smug. "Remember, you were the one who offered your name to me." My mouth parted slightly in shock at his quip, and I stumbled. He grasped my elbow lightly, steadying me. The small, soft gesture made heart skip a beat.
"This is going to prove challenging." I tried to straighten myself up. "Hearing me say your name?" He smirked. Merlin, no; please say it again. "No, sir." I glanced at him. "Feeding off each other's emotions."