By the time Draco left my room, I had fifteen minutes to get ready for dinner. I had a quick shower to wash his scent off me and was getting dressed when I heard loud banging at my door. "Open this damn door, Hazel!" Shit. I forgot about Tas. I waved my wand, unlocking the door, and she came barrelling in.
"You almost fainted on me at breakfast; you got dragged away to the hospital wing by Snape;" she started listing off the reasons for her temper, "he looked up your skirt, which I had to hear about from Augustus, by the way; you could have been dead, or worse, Snape could have captured you for his sick fantasies!" An image of my naked levitating fantasy flashed across my eyes. Her face was getting redder by the second. "And to top it all off, I find out that you didn't come to me after your release! No! You came to Draco!"
I came for Draco. I swallowed down my laugh as she panted, she had worked up quite a sweat in her rampage. "Are you done?" I genuinely wasn't sure if she had more to list off. "Yes, I am!" She huffed, crossing her arms and stomping over to an armchair like a toddler. I laughed softly; I didn't want to rile her up again. I sat down next to her and crossed my legs. "I'm sorry, Tas." She wasn't convinced. "I really am. So much happened this morning and I just needed to be alone." She rolled her eyes and turned away from me, facing the fire. "Yeah, alone with Draco."
"It's not like that, I swear. We both needed someone; we helped each other, that's all." Her jaw dropped, and she jumped out of her chair. "You slept with him?!" Damn. I thought she knew that already. "No! We didn't have sex." She started pacing in front of the fire; she's so cute when she's mad. "So, what then? You went down on him, and all your problems were solved?" Low blow. "Or did he go down on you?" Not so cute anymore.
"Both, actually." She gasped as if I'd just slapped her. I rubbed my hands down my face, taking a deep breath. "Please, Tas. Sit down and listen." She huffed, her arms still crossed, and fell back down into the chair. "I'm sorry I didn't come to you first. I didn't want to talk about anything; I didn't want to think." I tried to sound as calm as possible. "I was planning on coming to find you after he left, but we fell asleep." I explained to her that I stayed in the hospital wing longer than necessary because I needed the rest; that Dumbledore came to visit me, bypassing the whole "dying" thing; and that Snape did not look up my skirt. I have a feeling I'm going to have to explain that one to just about every student in the school.
After I pleaded my case, she reached a verdict of not guilty. "Sorry for yelling at you." She wasn't sorry. "No, you're not." I laughed, linking my arm with hers as we made our way out of the common room. "I'm starving." I groaned, feeling my stomach rumble. "I bet you are. You haven't eaten since lunch yesterday!" I hadn't realised it had been that long. "I hope they have tiramisu." I hummed.
As soon as I stepped foot in the Great Hall, I could feel his eyes on me. I didn't bother looking up to confirm; the goosebumps and shivers down my spine were all the proof I needed. This "bond" must be getting stronger if I can feel him looking at me with a thousand buzzing students between us. I swallowed hard as we took our usual seats, trying to focus on the emptiness of my stomach and not the butterflies that had erupted in it.
I breathed a sigh of relief when the feast appeared, loading my plate with anything I could get my hands on. I tried to ignore the people around me, but to no avail; they were interrogating me. "Did Snape really look up your skirt?", "You're Head Girl; you could get him fired.", "I always knew he was a creep." I couldn't take it any longer. Just as I was about to shut down their accusations, I felt my mind being gently pried open. It felt like a light, cool breeze on an autumn night, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
"Well, Hazel? Did I look up your skirt?" His baritone voice rang like church bells, sending shock waves through my whole body. I can talk to granny Q in my mind, but I have never done it with anyone else. The fact that he was initiating the first mental contact made my stomach flutter. I almost whimpered.
I snapped my head around to glare up at him, expecting him to still be watching me. Instead, he was calmly slicing into his roast chicken, appearing to be listening to McGonagall. He's too far away to hear our conversation with his own ears; he must be listening through my mind. Why can't I hear his conversation with McGonagall, then? I wanted to march up there and give him a piece of my mind, but it appears he already has one.
"You're more than welcome to come up here, but you may raise some concerns." He quipped. He's getting cocky. "Stop staring; your friends are waiting." I huffed and turned back to the impatiently waiting hoard of students that had gathered around me. "He did not look up my skirt. That is a lie." They all groaned, robbed of juicy gossip. "However, he is a creep." I smirked, knowing he was still listening.
"I can take house points for that comment, Hazel." Merlin, his voice sounds even better in my head. "You're more than welcome to try, but that may raise some concerns, Severus." I stifled a laugh; I swear I heard him gulp. "Come to my office after dinner." I shuddered. Is he going to punish me for what he saw this morning? Has he already learnt something through his "research"? Is he going to tell me more about what happened to Dumbledore? "Can't wait." I didn't need to look at him to know he rolled his eyes.
I told Tas I wanted to go for a walk after dinner and that she could head back to the common rooms without me. I had to wait for the halls to be empty before knocking on Snape's door. After the rumours that were spread today, I can't be seen having private meetings with him after hours, Head Girl or not. I wandered through the courtyard and sat down on a stone bench, letting the coolness seep through me, grounding my thoughts.
I am panicking; I don't know what Snape will tell me tonight. What I do know is that this "bond" is not a direct result of legilimency, neither mine nor his. Dumbledore says we are bonded through mind, body, and soul. I gather that our legilimency skills have simply brought forth the "mind" bond first. It was a terrifying thought, but a relief. This bond means it isn't my fault that he has accessed my thoughts and feelings. I didn't let him in; the bond did.
It was past eight o'clock now; everyone would be in their dormitories. Staff are strict with the curfew on a Sunday night. I cast a disillusionment spell and hurried down to the dungeons, careful to keep my feet light and quiet. When I approached his office, I bit my bottom lip to keep it from quivering. My palms started to sweat, and my knees were shaking. No one has ever made me as nervous and giddy as Snape – not even any of my ex-boyfriends.
His office door swung open, the smell of firewhiskey, old books, and sandalwood wafting out. I breathed in deeply. Has his office always smelt this good? He stood, stoic as ever, bathed in the warm glow of the lanterns lighting his office. He looked puzzled for a moment, his eyes squinting, and I wondered if he'd forgotten that he'd asked me to come. Then his eyes softened, and he looked down the hall, left and right.
"You can come out now." I had forgotten he couldn't see me. "Oh, right." I removed the charm, flustered. He stepped aside, ushering me into his surprisingly warm office. "How did you know I was there?" I questioned. I didn't knock or call out, and he obviously couldn't see me. He paused for a moment, as if trying to decide whether to tell me the truth or not. "I could feel you." Of course. If I could feel his eyes on me between a sea of students, it made sense he could feel me directly outside his door.
He walked towards his desk and pulled a chair up on the opposite side. "Sit." I walked slowly and perched uncomfortably on the edge. My heart was starting to race. "Relax, Hazel." I nodded, scooting further back in the chair, and wiped my clammy hands on my skirt. He leant back in his chair, crossing his arms across his chest. How was he so calm? "For someone who is naturally skilled at occlumency, your mind is awfully loud." He mused.
"How are you able to hear my mind so clearly, but I can only hear yours when you allow me to?" I couldn't handle the suspense any longer; I needed answers. "You are a natural Legilimens, and thus naturally skilled at occlumency. However, you have no experience with someone actually trying to penetrate your mind; your grandmother aside." I nodded, not wanting to interrupt. "I, on the other hand, learnt these skills out of necessity." He hesitated, swallowing hard. I knew he didn't want to continue for fear of saying too much, too soon.
"For survival." I finished. I knew he was a troubled man; anyone with two eyes could see it. "You actively keep your guard up, not knowing who might be lurking." He nodded softly, confirming my evaluation. "I thought I was doing the same." I felt like a failure. He said it himself: I am supposed to be a natural. "You are." He leant forwards on the desk, clasping his hands. "Just not for me."
I chewed my bottom lip, looking down at my lap. I didn't know how to feel anymore; did I want him in my mind, or didn't I? "Dumbledore said there was a…" I couldn't say the word out loud, as though saying it would make it real. "A bond." He confirmed. I nodded, still biting hard on my lip. I started to taste blood. If I was going to get answers from him, I needed to strengthen the walls of my mind. I didn't want him to know how I felt about this supposed bond, until I knew how he felt. "He said you were researching." I sat up straight, trying to regain some level of confidence.
He tilted his head slightly. He felt the barrier being built, shutting him out. I could feel him trying to listen closely; it was more difficult keeping him out than anyone else. I couldn't tell if that was because of the bond or if I didn't actually want to keep him out. "Smart choice. Your walls are strong." His compliments made my heart flutter. "When they want to be, apparently." I muttered.
He sat back in his chair, once again appearing far too relaxed for our current situation. "I have been researching, yes. I assume Professor Dumbledore gave you some insight on what may cause a bond like this?" I nodded. "Brought together to work on a project; to help each other through a trying ordeal; or bonded through mind, body, and soul." I listed. My voice was calm, as if the last option didn't send flames through every neuron in my body.
"Indeed. However, all the case studies I have read indicate that the two people must simply be patient. Their destinies will come to pass in time." Our destiny. "A bond is perhaps the least documented or researched type of magic." He continued. "A bond's origins are unknown, even to those affected. It is likely that such a bond is written unto the individuals at their birth and equally likely to occur at any moment the universe sees fit."
I listened with rapt attention. Could we have been destined to be bonded from birth? Surely I was not so important to his life as to be written into it from my first breath. "I don't imagine I would be much help to you in a project or in a trying ordeal." I tried to press him further. I didn't want to leave this room feeling more confused than when I walked in. He looked away from me for the first time since I sat down. He knew what I was trying to say.
"I suppose one can never truly know what they are capable of." Draco's voice rang in the back of my mind. "She doesn't know what he is capable of." I shuddered, swallowing hard. He glared at me, annoyed that he no longer had free reign of my mind. "What is it, Hazel?" He leant forwards over the desk again. "We have established that we are going to be spending a lot of time together this year, through our rounds and our bond. I suppose I wouldn't mind knowing what you're capable of, Severus."
I felt the walls of my mind shake at the sound of his name on my tongue. It tasted like the sweetest nectar. His back stiffened, and he cleared his throat. "Do you remember what I said before I left you this morning?" Shit. I gave a quick, shaky nod. My cheeks flushed, and my hands started to shake. "Well then, it's later." Here we go.
I decided on a defence tactic, hoping he would be lenient. "I don't know why that image popped into my head, sir. I was not of sound mind." I kept my focus on my hands in my lap; I couldn't look him in the eyes. "So, I am sir again, am I?" Damn these butterflies. "Are you offering your name to me, Severus?" I cocked an eyebrow, looking at him through my eyelashes. "It appears I didn't need to, Hazel." He smirked. I grinned as though I had just won the House Cup.
"Sound mind or not, such fantasies are –" A flash of a very naked me floated in front of my eyes. The image didn't come from my mind; it came from his. My heart was hammering in my chest, and I could tell his was too. We stared at each other, neither moving a muscle. I felt a heat rise in my stomach, shooting straight to my core. He shifted slightly, and our trance was broken. He had felt the same heat. "You were saying?" I couldn't help but smirk. "Hardly appropriate." He croaked out.
I sighed and slumped back in my chair. "We both know this is going to be difficult. If you want out, just say so. I am sure I can do rounds with another teacher." I didn't want to do rounds with anyone else, but if it means things can go back to normal, I will gladly compromise. "That won't be necessary." He sighed and stood up. "Let us agree, however, to never speak of this to anyone." He walked around his desk and motioned for me to follow him. "If you do, Madam Pomphrey will be your only saving grace." I couldn't help but giggle as he repeated the same threat I used on the first-years.
He led me to the fireplace, and I looked up at him, puzzled. "You can floo to your room from here." He pointed to a bag of floo powder sitting on the mantle. "I didn't know that!" I was so thrilled that I couldn't help but grin. "Only the people who know your password may enter via floo." He clarified.
Before reaching for the floo powder, I paused and turned to him. "I will agree to keep our visions a secret if you agree not to enter my mind at inappropriate times, like at dinner." I held out my hand. He looked between my eyes and my hand a few times and quirked an eyebrow. "Would you prefer a pinkie promise, Severus?" I smirked and held out my pinkie. He rolled his eyes and held out his hand for me to shake.
The moment I slipped my hand into his, I felt a surge of magic shoot through my body, engaging all my senses at once. He tightened his grip, seeming to have felt it too. He looked up from our entwined hands and locked his eyes on mine. We were panting slightly, allowing the shock waves to settle. Far too soon for my liking, he dropped my hand and took a step back. The loss of contact made my knees tremble.
Shaking off the disappointment, I took a handful of floo powder and stepped into the fireplace. "Sleep well, Hazel." He nodded. "You too, Severus. Come by any time." I winked, tossing the powder and disappearing into a throw of green flames.