I stood between Severus and Albus just outside the school grounds. It is Boxing Day, and it is incredibly cold. I made sure to stand right next to Severus, close enough so that our hands could brush against each other. I had long stopped caring what Albus thought about the closeness between Severus and me. If his feelings towards our connection were any indication, he didn't seem to mind. His acceptance baffled me, but I was too relieved to question him.
He seemed, if nothing else, happy. The way his eyes twinkled when we sat in front of him on Christmas Eve spoke volumes. He wasn't happy for me, though. He felt genuine remorse for the position that I am in. Not because Severus and I are bonded, but because yet another one of his students' lives is in danger. His fear for my safety is in constant battle with his feeling of relief for Severus. It was him who he was happy for.
"The Weasleys have wards up around their home, and they will be alerted when we arrive. I will remain hidden in the forest until you are done." Severus slipped his pinkie into mine, and I tried not to blush. Whether Albus saw our small exchange or not, he didn't comment. "Let's go." I tried to sound as confident as possible. Both Severus and Albus held out their arms at the same time. I giggled softly, grasped hold of both their arms, and we disapparated.
I swayed and stumbled as we landed on a dark, dirt path. Severus clutched my arm to steady me, and I took a few deep breaths. Disapparating is never fun, no matter how many times you do it. When he was sure I wasn't going to vomit, he released my arm and took a small step back. "I will see you soon." He nodded and slipped into the dark forest to our left. "I will remain close enough to hear you, should you need me." He added.
"Thank you." I blushed slightly and turned my attention to the road leading to a strange looking house. It was taller than it was wide, with each floor protruding out every which way. We apparated a fair distance from the Weasleys home, so Albus and I strolled at a leisurely pace. He doesn't appear to be in any rush, but I knew it was because he had something to say to me before we arrived.
"You seem quite close." He hummed. I hesitated for a moment. I knew he was accepting, but he also doesn't know how close we actually are. "As close as one could get to Severus Snape, I suppose." I smirked when he chuckled lightly. "Yes, he can be rather obtuse." His hands were clasped behind his back in true Dumbledore fashion. He had more to say, and I fought hard not to roll my eyes.
"Spit it out, Albus." I said it playfully but firmly. I had no issues being curt with him, seeing as I was risking my life on his orders. "You two are very similar." He laughed. "I suspect you are closer than you have let on." My heart started to thump in my chest. It didn't feel like an accusation, but I felt no less guilty. "While I would prefer it to be any other way, I do understand. From what I know of bonded souls, it is near impossible to show restraint, regardless of how they are bonded. And as we know, you already physically cannot be apart."
I bit my cheeks as he spoke; his words were as relieving as they were unnerving. "I think he would prefer to have it any other way, too." I admitted. I frowned when he laughed again. "I don't believe that, and I doubt you do, either." I glanced at him and smirked when I saw the grin on his lips. "You think you're so wise." I scoffed.
When we approached the porch of the apparent six-story home, a woman greeted us. "Albus! Quickly, come inside; it is freezing!" She wore an apron that was covered in splatters of food and had curly, red hair that sat just atop her shoulders. Definitely a Weasley. "Good evening, Molly." He nodded politely as we stepped through the hallway. "You must be Hazel, dear." She beamed at me. "Very pretty. Definitely George's type."
I suppressed a giggle and extended my hand for her to shake. "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Weasley. Thank you for having me." She ignored my hand and wrapped her arms around me tightly. I couldn't help but smile. Though she is shorter and a little more plump, she reminds me of my mother. "And please, call me Molly, dear." She squeezed my arms lightly and ushered Albus and me into the living room.
My heart sank. About a dozen people filled the living room, and all eyes were on me. I recognised several of the faces: Lupin, Moody, all of the Weasley children, Harry, and Hermione. "Good evening." Albus greeted. "I am sure most of you know Hazel." He laid his hand gently on my shoulder. "Hi, everyone." I smiled as calmly as I could, but I could feel my cheeks heating up. I glanced over at Harry and Hermione and swallowed sharply. Everyone's minds were swirling. Though they knew I was coming, they were still confused.
There were many comments about my Slytherin status, and just about everyone was wondering why I was important enough to have Albus personally escort me. I felt him squeeze my shoulder in an attempt to comfort me. He could tell I was trying to focus on the people in the room and not their minds.
I could feel Severus faintly outside. He was far away, but close enough that I could hear him, just like he promised. "This is going to be painful." I complained. "I was wondering how long it would take you to reach out to me." I clenched my jaw so as not to roll my eyes at his quip. "Not helpful. Maybe I'll stop reaching out." Harry waved his hand at me, motioning to an armchair next to him. "I was merely teasing, darling. You will be fine. I am here if you need me."
I sat down next to Harry, with him on my right and Hermione on my left. "Albus, Hazel, would you like tea?" Molly asked. "Oh, no, thank you. I must be going now. I only came to escort Hazel." My jaw dropped, and my heart rate increased drastically. I should have forced Severus to come with me. "Sir, I –" I attempted to beg him to stay when he raised his hand, cutting me off. "You will do just fine on your own, Hazel." Fuck. I should have known this was his plan.
I glared at him as his eyes twinkled and a smile danced across his lips. "It was lovely to see you all, however short it might have been." He nodded at everyone and hastily swept out of the house. No one even had a chance to greet him or bid him farewell, the sly git. "Albus left me! How the fuck am I supposed to do this alone? Can you come in, please?" I pleaded. "I just saw him disapparate. You know I can't, darling. I promise you will be fine."
As we heard the door click shut, all eyes returned to mine. My hands started to sweat, and I could feel them shaking. "It's nice to see you again, Hazel." Lupin's voice rang out over the blood rushing against my ears. I met his gaze and tried to smile. "You too, Professor." He smiled back and waved his hand dismissively. "Please, call me Remus."
I nodded and turned my gaze back to Harry beside me. "How do these things usually start?" I whispered, even though I knew the room was completely silent and everyone was likely to hear me. He cleared his throat and glanced briefly around the room. "Well, I suppose this one will probably start with you explaining why Dumbledore brought you here." Though his words were blunt, his voice was soft. "Right." I sighed.
I closed my eyes for a moment, allowing myself to focus on my breathing and not the swirling minds around me. When I opened my eyes, I looked over at Hermione. Her brows were softly furrowed, but purely out of confusion. Nobody seemed upset by my being here; they simply wanted answers. "Right," I said again. Words have never failed me before, and this is a time when I cannot afford to lose them.
"Breathe. Start from the beginning." Severus' soothing voice washed over me, and I sighed. "Thank you for having me." I began. The room was still silent, but their minds were working overtime. "I don't really know where to begin." I trembled slightly as I felt Hermione's hand rest on my knee. "We don't bite, Hazel. But we are all rather eager to know what's going on." She smiled warmly.
After a few deep breaths, I glanced around the room again. Seeing their eyes pierce into mine was too much to handle, so I focused on Hermione. She was the most familiar to me, and I dare say we are somewhat friends. "My family is from New York." I began. "Some of you know that my uncle is Newt Scamander." I assumed that only Harry, Hermione, and Ron knew, but I had to start somewhere.
Everyone was shocked, but mostly Remus. I smiled shyly. "Albus met them all during the Battle of Grindelwald, but he knew my uncle from when he was a student, of course. That is how they came to reconnect during the Battle." I continued. "I am not sure how much you all know about the Battle of Grindelwald, but there was a Legilimens who infiltrated his side." I let my eyes sweep across the room once more and watched a few people nod, mostly the adults and Hermione, of course. My breath hitched slightly in my throat. I internally berated myself. Just get on with it. Rip the Band-Aid.
"The Legilimens' identity was kept anonymous, as their initial intentions were clouded by Grindelwald's charm." I paused for a moment to take a steadying breath. "Her name is Queenie Goldstein, and she is my grandmother." A few gasps filled the room, and I winced. "Your grandmother is a natural Legilimens?" Remus asked, eyebrows raised. "She is. That is why I am here." Remus became my grounding point; I kept my eyes on him. He was comforting. "Is she going to join The Order, too?" He kept his eyes on mine, sensing that I needed to focus on one person at a time.
"No. She doesn't know I am here." His head tilted slightly, once again confused. I dug my nails into my palms, but they were too sweaty to clench tight enough. Here goes the Band-Aid. "I share her gift." Hermione's hand, which had still been resting on my knee, clapped to her mouth. Everyone's jaw was open, and instantly their minds were riddled with questions about whether I could hear them or not.
The room fell silent once more, though not for me. "I don't believe you're a liar, Hazel. But I think everyone would feel more at ease if you could perhaps…" Remus paused for a moment, searching my eyes from across the room. "Prove it?" He asked cautiously. Damn. I should have known they would ask me to prove that I was telling the truth.
"Alright. Well, I knew you were a werewolf the second I saw you at the first feast in my fourth year." I admitted. "Everyone knows he is a werewolf now, though." Ron muttered. Hermione nudged him and scowled. "It's fine, Hermione. He's right." I looked back at Remus and took a deep breath. I have never attempted to speak to anyone in their mind other than Granny Q and Severus, but I knew that would be the only way to prove my validity.
"I know you were bitten by a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback when you were four years old. I also know that you are attempting to push Nymphadora away because you are afraid of passing on the gene to potential children. But she loves you." If his eyes had gone any wider, they would have fallen out of his skull. "Merlin." He quickly turned his attention to Nymphadora sitting next to him. "What? What happened?" Harry voiced the question that was screaming through everyone's minds.
"She's telling the truth." Everyone's jaws were on the ground again, looking between Remus and me. There was only one person in the room who didn't believe him. Ron's mind was riddled with insults about Slytherins, calling me a liar, and confusion as to why Albus seemed to believe me, too. I turned to him, and his eyes snapped to mine. "I know you like Hermione, Ron. And I know that you know that Harry likes Ginny."
He jumped up from where he sat, his face completely drained of colour. "Bloody hell!" He cried. "I'd sit down if I were you. Unless you want to share with the group how you know that I am telling the truth." I raised my eyebrows at him and smirked. He flopped back down onto the couch with a thud and cradled his head in his hands. "She's telling the truth." He mumbled.
"Merlin's beard. I have never met a natural Legilimens." Mr. Weasley was beaming. "None of you have." I countered. That was one of the first things to flash across everyone's minds. "So you have been listening to our thoughts this whole time?" Hermione questioned.
I paused for a moment, considering the potential backlash of admitting my inescapable intrusion into their privacy all these years. "There is no mute button, unfortunately." The room fell silent as everyone processed my confession. It was deafening. I closed my eyes and took several deep breaths. "I had hoped Albus would stay and help me explain how I am going to help." I ran my hands down my jeans to dry the sweat.
"He suggested that I follow in my grandmother's footsteps, so to speak." Only the adults in the room seemed to understand. "He wants you to go to Voldemort's side." Moody grunted. When I nodded, Molly cried out in sheer panic. It was endearing. She has known me for little more than an hour, and she is already fearing for my life as though I were one of her children.
Chaos ensued. I remained dreadfully silent as the group fought amongst themselves. Harry was face-to-face with Remus, yelling all sorts of absurdities; Molly was arguing with Arthur while he stood as calm as ever; Hermione and Ginny were bickering with Ron; Moody kept his eyes on me, ruminating over all the possible ways I could betray them; and Fred and George were whispering amongst themselves.
I began to feel nauseous. Voices shouting, minds screaming. The noise was blinding, and I could feel tears pricking at my eyes. I wasn't afraid or anxious about their response; I was overwhelmed. With a quick, discrete flick of my wrist, I cast muffliato around myself and cradled my head in my palms, covering my eyes.
"I assume I have broken out in a sweat because you have told them the plan." Hearing his voice made me whimper lightly. "It's mayhem. I wish you were here." I blinked away a few tears behind the shield of my palms. "What are they saying?" He was as short of breath as I was, and I felt guilty. "I don't know. Muffliato is a wonderful charm."
My reverie was severed abruptly when I felt a hand lay on my shoulder. I quickly removed the charm and turned my gaze to the room. Everyone was silent, staring at me. It was Hermione's hand on my shoulder. "Sorry," I muttered. Remus walked across the room and knelt down in front of me. "I imagine that was even louder for you than it was for us." He smiled softly. I nodded, biting my cheek.
"We have some more questions, if you don't mind." He said as he offered me a glass of water. I hadn't realised how dry my mouth was until I finished the glass in one big gulp. I nodded again in consent. "Voldemort is a Legilimens, too." Harry's voice made me jump slightly; he was once again sitting next to me. "Not naturally, though. He might be powerful, but I was born to do this. Literally and figuratively." I felt bad for Harry. The weight of the world is on his shoulders, and he is cracking under the pressure.
"Even still, Hazel, how can you be sure you will be able to penetrate his mind?" Remus asked. We hadn't discussed this yet, so I had to think on my feet. "I have been working closely with Albus and Professor Snape. They are both extremely skilled in Occlumency." Remus and Harry are right; Voldemort's mind is strong. I will have to train with Albus; if I can enter his mind, I should have no problem with Voldemort's.
"That's why Snape was in her room." I heard Harry's mind connect the dots, even if they weren't the correct ones. He might be thick-headed, but he is not stupid. "Yes, that is why. But please don't tell anyone, Harry. No one else can know he was in my room." His eyes went wide, searching mine. He is no stranger to having people in his mind, but it is still jarring. "Blimey, this is weird. Don't worry; I won't tell anyone. I hope he is treating you okay; he was a right git to me."
I smiled and nodded subtly at him, and I turned my attention back to Remus. "How will you join him?" My heart sank at his question. We definitely hadn't discussed how I was going to explain this, and I obviously can't tell them about Severus. "Well, I am quite close with Draco. And I assume you are all aware that his father is a Death Eater." They all nodded. "That is where I will start. I am planning on speaking to him when term resumes."
Half-truths were flowing off my tongue as if they were lyrics to my favourite song. I would have to talk to Draco eventually, but not about getting an audience with Voldemort. I can only assume that Severus and I will speak to him about my skills and my plans to serve Voldemort. I shuddered at the thought of that conversation. Draco is so fragile right now, and knowing I will have to lie to him makes my stomach churn.
"I am a half-blood, so I assume it will take some convincing. But I am quite confident that when Voldemort learns of my abilities, he will gladly recruit me." Everyone felt more at ease as I explained further. No one seemed to notice I was making it all up as I went along, and I was relieved.
"Whether I am accepted into The Order or not, I would appreciate discretion. The only people outside of my family who know are Albus and Professor Snape." I directed my request to those who were still students, and they all nodded in understanding.
I watched as Remus turned to Moody, Nymphadora, and all the other adults in the room before turning back to me. He stood up from where he knelt and offered me his hand. I couldn't help but blush as I stood up and locked my hand in his. I was exhausted, but I was also elated. There had been arguing, but not about me or my skills. It was comforting knowing that the first people I told had been so understanding.
After a short while, I was lounging in the living room with Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. They had plenty of questions about all the things I had heard in my time at school, and I was all too eager to answer them. It felt strange, but also relieving. I have a wealth of gossip that has been built up over the years, and it was exciting to finally share it all.
"You know, it is rather freezing out here. If I knew you were going to get cosy with Potter, I would have left when Lupin did." I gasped a little too audibly, and I received four very questionable looks. "Oh, sorry guys. I just realised it is quite late, and I really should be going." I forced a smile and stood up. "You could stay, if you'd like." Ginny offered gently. I have never had much to do with Ginny, but she is sweet. I can see why Harry likes her.
"Thanks, Ginny, but I will need to report to Albus tonight and let him know how I went." She smiled and pulled me in for a hug. It was rather unexpected, but comforting all the same. "I'll see you all back at school. Enjoy the rest of your break!" I bid them all a hurried farewell and practically ran from the house and down the dirt path. "I'm sorry! I didn't realise the time." I spun around, searching the darkness. I yelped when I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist and quickly disapparated.
The sudden apparation to the gates of Hogwarts made me cough and hunch over, gasping for air. I am sure I would have fallen over if it weren't for Severus' arms holding me up. He pulled me upright so that my back was pressed against his chest, and I sighed. "I'm exhausted." I let my head fall back against his shoulder. "I know." He kissed the top of my head softly.
"You two are lucky that I am a good liar. I was heavily unprepared for most of that conversation." My huff of annoyance quickly turned into a sigh of contentment when I felt his hand slip into mine. "We still need to figure out what I am going to say to Draco." My anxiety was still ebbing through me, but I couldn't deny how at ease I was with his fingers entwined with mine. "I will be with you when you tell him." He squeezed my hand gently, reassuring me.
As we approached the entrance courtyard, I realised he had not released my hand. I knew it was because it was late and no one would be around, but my heart swelled all the same. It was a small gesture of faith, and I relished in the moment. "Will you stay with me again?" We stopped in the middle of the courtyard, hands still clasped together. I watched as his head swivelled around, searching the area.
When he turned back to me, he brought his free hand up to cup my cheek. "Let's go to bed." My heart fluttered as he placed a warm, chaste kiss on my lips.