Chapter 4

Not all tears are evil.

Time passed strangely in Rivendell. It felt like I blinked my eyes and in the next moment, four years had passed. I guess it was true that a hundred years was just a blink in the eyes of an elf.

Elrond and Celebrian had become like a true family to me, being their ward was the most fulfilling thing that had ever happened to me. Even if the classes with Erestor were not as fun at times, but they were useful in learning the language and parts of the history I did not yet know from what Lord Elrond had told me would be foresight that I had in the old world.

Training with Elrond and Glorfindel was always interesting. I never knew what to expect or what to prepare for. But it did make me feel capable and safe knowing that if anything were to happen I would be able to defend myself. If nothing else, it was just important for me to know I can if need be.

The mental healing with Elrond on the other hand had been a pain. I could not remember all the evenings I ended up crying myself to sleep after and Elrond and Celebrian sleeping in my room to make sure I was okay. I wasn't, but it helped to have them there. There was after all much trauma to go through and none of them wanted me to be alone after sessions with Elrond. In many ways, they felt like the mom and dad I never had or could remember.

One day I was standing by the waterfall and daydreaming I did not take much notice of the quick steps moving toward me, or the voice screaming.

"MY LADY ELWEN" I finally snapped to and turned toward the voice. Estelwen stood there looking at me, clearly displeased.

"Yes Estelwen, what is wrong?" I said trying to act as innocent as I could.

"my lady. We need to get you ready for tonight or have you forgotten" Estelwen said in a strict tone.

"Forgotten what?" I said to myself and then it dawned on me. Elrond and Celebrian had decided to put together a big birthday party for me this year as I never truly had one before. The first years it had just been me, Elrond, Celebrian, Glorfindel, Erestor, and a few others I had become close to, but now a delegation from the woodland realm would be in attending too and neither Elrond nor Celebrian would have any of the small party talks this year. I guessed they would not seem cheap to their guest. But oh little did I know.

The delegation had arrived a few days before and I had not really seen any of them, except at a distance. There was King Thranduil of course, a version of the king himself. at his side, Queen Lauriel, and one I expected to be Legolas. Behind them were servants dressed in functional green clothes of travel and behind them again was the guard of the king and what seemed like silvan rangers. One of them even caught my eye. Her red hair was long, her gaze firm, her pale skin clothed in green and brown. The most beautiful elf I had ever seen. I could not take my mind off her. But what hope was in it for me? Little I deemed.

Waking up from another daydream I had to run after Estelwen as she did not take her duties lightly as I had learned over the few years I had lived in the valley. She was very effective, detail-orientated, and a very caring soul. Whenever Elrond and Celebrian were busy and I did not want to intrude she really looked after me in every way she could. If it was a hug, sneaking me a piece of cake, or a long chat under the sky she was there. Her family was also very nice and sweet, but I felt somewhat uncomfortable with them as her husband and children treated me even more as a lady than Estelwen did. It had felt like a victory to me when she had softened some of me compared to the stoic servant I had met those years ago.

Back in my room, I saw a beautiful gray dress with blue and what seemed like starlight woven into the fabric. It was the most beautiful dress I had ever seen in my life and I looked up at Estelwen and simply said "Celebrian?" Estelwen nodded and smiled at the comment.

"Yes, my lady. The lady Celebrian had it made for you for this evening." As she lifted the dress up and came over with it for me to feel the fabric. It felt like silk, but much softer. The material looked like starlight in it shone so very beautifully. I kept feeling it for a moment and was still in shock by yet another dress made for me. My wardrobe was full at this point. Never had I had clothes just for training, fighting, dancing, or simply having evening tea in.

"The bath is ready for you my lady," Estelwen said and took me out of yet another lost-in-thought moment of the day.

"I do not deserve this" Was all I could say in response.

"Of course, you do my lady" Estelwen responded as if she was in automatic response mode to me. I never felt deserving of all Elrond, Celebrian, Erestor, Glorfindel, and anyone else on the list gifted me with anything from a dress to just a book or a moment of their time.

"No…" I started to say as Estelwen did her thing for the billionth time.

"My lady. You do deserve this, you are kind, helpful, and caring." Estelwen started.

"Do you remember when we were out helping the young with herb lore?" Estelwen said.

"Yes," I answered and with a nod, Elrond had taught me so much about it and I did enjoy teaching the young too.

"And when young Thoron fell out of the tree you rushed over and looked him over and bandaged all his wounds?" Estelwen said.

"Yes," I said again with a nod.

"and how grateful his mother was seeing him cared for so well when we returned with him and the rest of the young?"

I just nodded at her at this point.

"or when you helped Lady Celebrian with her chores, and lord Erestor in this library sorting all of his books that were misplaced? What about when you aid Lord Elrond with official meetings and greet the guests? And who could forget the mess with the dwarves stopping for supplies when traveling to Khazad dûm from the blue mountains? That truly was a mess, my lady"

"Yes, it was. They are weird creatures and have not the best manners" I responded.

"No indeed they do not," she said and looked at me. "Yet you cared for them with patience and care as Lord Elrond had asked. But my I do not envy the kitchen they were worn out after they left" she added with a teased grin.

Remembering the dwarves as they had basically sacked the kitchen, turned the staff into a fist about their behavior. Even Elrond and Celebrian had to take a few deep breaths during that visit.

"I do, but I don't see…" Estelwen cut me off yet again and added to her list of times I had just helped out someone here there or everywhere with the simplest of tasks. Even if it was just to carry supplies to the kitchen or fabric to the tailor or getting a book for the smith in his search for ways to craft elven blades that glow blue when orc's are close. A skill that seemed lost, but he wanted to bring it back.

"So you see my lady, you are deserving of what we give you in return. We care for you. All of us." She said with a smile.

"You are too kind to me my friend," I said to Estelwen and gave her a long warm hug. "Thank you for staying with me and not running away in a fit with all my doubts about myself."

Estelwen wrapped her arms around me and hugged me warmly back.

"I would never run away from you my lady, I will admit you can be a challenge at times," She said with humor in her voice "but I am very proud that you call me friend and to serve you"

With that, she let me go and sniffed a little in the air.

"bath now my lady," she said and made a funny face "You truly need it after this morning's training."

I smiled at her and walked into the bathroom with her on my heel, the bath was ever as relaxing and re-energizing. My muscles relaxed, and my mind as well. Estelwen's singing as she bathed me always put me in a good state of mind. I was just happy I was in a place where I could trust people at all now, without Elrond's spells.

There wasn't time for a long bath, but it did its job. Hurrying to dry off and get my new dress and shoes on just in time before a knock on my door. Estelwen hurried over and opened it to Elrond and Celebrian. Their eyes locked on me in awe as I did not really know what to do or say. They had never looked at me like this before. Standing there as tall as I was, my long dark hair not done yet, but flowing down my back. The dress followed my shape perfectly and to me felt like enhanced what good features I had. Matching my greying eyes that one time had been more blueish.

"Dear one" They finally managed to say. "You look like Luthin herself." I smiled and blushed. "You are very kind Elrond and Celebrian, but that title will belong to another yet to be in this world," I said with a bowed head.

Both of them moved over to me and took one hand each. "Then you and the one not yet born will have to share that title" They both informed me. I could not do much but smile, blush, and shake my head a little at their kindness and how foolish it felt like they compared me. ME of all elves to that of Luthien. That was truly a moment I believed Elrond and Celebrian had smoked something very powerful.

Not knowing how to respond at all to that comment there was a weird silence in the room before Estelwen asked me to sit so she could do my braids. Elrond and Celebrian followed and took a chair each to sit with me as Estelwen did her own magic on my hair.

"Elwen" Elrond started to say. "We have a gift for you as it is the day we decided to be your birthday, we know you do not like the idea of a large party with the elves from the woodland realm or any kind of large celebration." I tried to speak, but Celebrian took over and cut me off before I could even utter a word. "You have been our ward for 4 years now Elwen and we could not be happier with you. You have healed, grown, and made yourself a very fitting addition to the valley" The way she spoke did worry me some like she was saying *You lived here long enough now, time to move on* "and we should have done this before, but we did not know if you were ready" She finished and Elrond put a large deep wooden box in my lap and looked at me to open it. Taking deep breaths as I felt Estelwen look over my shoulder at what it could be I slowly opened the lock on it and the lid. The first I saw was something that could be a signet ring? What? Ok, and I opened it some more. A necklace came into view just beside the ring. What are they up to was all I could think. As I barely had looked into the box I closed my eyes and opened it fully.

For the first time in ages, it felt like time stood still, my eyes were again open and I could see everything inside the wooden box on my lap. It was indeed a signet ring with the star of the house of Elrond with a matching neckless and the largest part of the set a circlet. Very much like the one Celebrian wore. Like a princess version of her Queen one.

I could hear Estelwen gasp, I felt her hands on my shoulders as she hugged me from behind I looked up and met the questioning eyes of Elrond and Celebrian. This had to be a dream. It could not be anything else. Why the heck would they make me a nobody their child? For sure they had been like my mother and father for the years I had lived here. But what of when they have Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen? I was just speechless as I really did not believe this was real.

"Elwen" I heard Elrond and Celebrian say on repeat.

"Yes?" Was all I could think of saying back

"Are you ok? You become so quiet when you open the box." Both of them said with worried looks on their faces.

"I… I… is this? No, it cannot be…" I kept murmuring to myself.

"What cannot be," Elrond asked me and took my free hand.

"This," I said and looked into the box. "Unless It means something very different than what I think"

"It means everything you think it does, my daughter," Celebrian said and laid her hand upon the one I held the lid with.

My eyes rushed from the content in the box to her face, then to Elrond's and so I kept on for a few moments.

"It is not a dream?" That was all I could say in a very disbelieving way.

"No it is not a dream Elwen," Elrond said and gripped my hand harder and in a more comforting way.

"We did not want to rush it on you my dear" Celebrian added. "We wanted you to feel safe and that you had a place in the valley before we made you ours and not force you into being our…" I put the box on the table as tears ran down my chin and more or less jumped from my chair over to them hugging them as hard as I could. My emotions rushed out as the simple tears turned into cry like none I had ever had before. Up to that point, all my tears had been of pain, hate, and despair. At this moment, they were only of joy, happiness, and of a will to live that I never had before. "Ada... Nana" was all I could whimper.

I felt their arms around me as they got up so we stood up and hugged and I felt them both kiss my cheeks. I could hear Estelwen laugh and cry as she watched us. Like it was something she too had wanted for me ever since she met me.

"So so our daughter" I heard them both say as I pulled back. "Not all tears are as evil as I believed" I responded. "No, they are not," Elrond said as he smiled.

Slowly they let me go for a moment as Elrond took the circlet out of the box with Celebrian taking the ring and neckless.

"We know you are not one for having a large event or so and since your birthday this year will be just that we will do this in private, just us and Estelwen," Celebrian said and reached for my right hand.

I nodded as my tears did not stop. Nor could I stop smiling, even if I felt like I did take some of the glamour away from their one-day children by blood. I could not stop loving this.

"This ring Elwen, is a symbol of your place in the house of Elrond and myself." It was a beautiful ring with a star, the symbol of Elrond. The same as on the banners of Imladris.

"This neckless forever will be on you. Shows our love for you, even if you came here in despair. Your arrival was truly a gift for you as well as us." Celebrian said as she placed a kiss on my cheek and moved back so Elrond could place the circlet on my head.

"This circlet as the ring is a symbol of your place as our daughter," Elrond said with a little drama in it, but also with pride. "From this day on you will address yourself to others as Elwen, daughter of Elrond and Celebrian. A Lady of Imladris."

Feeling the circlet being placed on my head I smiled like never before, happy tears like the waterfall in the background. Both of them hugged me again.

"Ada… Nana" was all I wanted to say and I did, over and over again.

We stood like that for way too long. Estelwen had to remind us of the time and Nana just hurried to show me the second circlet under the first layer of the box. That was an everyday circlet for me to wear whenever I was out of my room and the one I wore was for special happenings only. The everyday one was ever as stunning as the one I wore and my untrained eye did not see much difference. I was just so happy for the first time in my life that I could not believe it.

"We will meet you outside the banquet hall in a few moments," Ada said. Ohh gosh it felt so weird yet so right calling him that. "Yes ada nana," I said smiling. As the door closed Estelwen hugged me so hard and did not let me go. "Now my lady, I will never stop calling you what you are and always have been to me and the rest of the people"

"I can't believe they see me fit to be…" Estelwen in her new role interrupting whatever I wanted to say cut me off again.

"You deserve it, my lady. Now it's just official" Her grin was about as large as mine. From that moment she hurried onto my hair again, after taking off my circlet for a moment to do the last braids and putting it back on. Looking into the mirror I was in awe. Never before had I seen me like this. Finally, I loved my pointy ears. My height and my very elven body. No bleeding wounds, no part that hurt, no stains on my clothes. I felt loved as I had never felt it ever before.

"Are you ready my lady?" Estelwen said and smiled at me.

"I guess I am" I said and took a deep breath.

I then slowly walked out of the room with Estelwen behind me and down the hall towards the common area and down at the path outside the house I again saw the redhead elf walking and looking to the stars. Yet again I saw her and I could not stop thinking of her. What I would not give to talk to her and see her. Sigh. I then moved on and saw Ada and Nana at the door along with Thranduil and Lauriel.

"Ahh Elwen," Ada said.

"Ada, Nana," I said with a curtesy bow to them.

"King Thranduil, Queen Lauriel. May we introduce to you the lady Elwen. Our daughter" Ada then said.

"It is our pleasure to meet you, my lady." The king said and the Queen added "Indeed it is. We have heard rumors of you for some time. I am happy to put a face to the name." She said with a smile.

"Thank you, King Thranduil and Queen Lauriel. It is my honor to meet you both" I said with a courtesy.

"Ney let us not be so formal. Our son Legolas should be here somewhere, I am sure he is just late" The king said and at that moment the blond-haired elf came down the stairs.

"Ahh Legolas. Let me introduce you to the lady Elwen. The daughter of Lord Elrond and the Lady Celebrain."

"It is my pleasure to meet you, lady," He said and bowed.

"And so for me to meet you, prince of the woodland realm," I said as politely as I could.

"Let us enter the hall and let the festivities start?" Ada then said and we all agreed. Legolas was a kind and funny elf and we had a nice chat. But to me, he was just like a long-lost cousin and I loved that. We had many of the same interests so it made our chat easier.

The rest of the evening was but a blur, from me being introduced to the lords and ladies of the valley. To the amazing food and dances that kept on well into the night. Even if I tried I could not say what happened that evening. All I could think of was the love I had been shown, the amazing elves that took me in, and the future I looked forward to facing whatever was to come.