Chapter 10

What the future holds

After reading Tauriel's letters I had no strength in me to go down and train with Glorfindel or the twins. Estelwen had come by and knocked on the door, but I couldn't answer her either. I felt so empty inside and I could not stop thinking of the last line of the newest letter.

I have decided to see the world and I have left the service of my king. The world I want to see, and hopefully, we will meet again as friends. Please do not be distressed by my thoughts of you. I know my feelings cannot be returned or that we are not allowed to explore them if you are so willing.

Her words rang in my head and I was going over them again and again and again. What felt like moments turned out to be the whole day and it was well into the evening before I could collect my feelings and get some awareness back. The sun had long since gone down and the stars and moon were up. Where are you Tauriel? Why don't you come to me? I took another deep breath for the hundredth time that day and finally noticed knocking on my door. I walked over to the door and opened it to find Ada, Nana, and the twins standing there. Their faces asked enough if they could come in and I moved aside for them.

The twins hugged me hard as soon as Nana let their shoulders go and ada gave me one of his comforting hugs.

"How are you, my child?" Nana asked.

"I do not know Nana," I answered as I tried to smile, but my face cracked after a short time.

"Are you ok sister?" Elladan said with a worried tone in his voice. "why didn't you come and train with us? We missed you!" Elrohir added.

"Boys let your sister speak," Ada said in his ever-calm voice.

I walked over to my bed and handed him and Nana the letters. They looked them over quickly and read the parts I showed them that were most important.

After reading it the pair of them looked at me with pity and sadness.

"Tauriel has left the king's service," Nana said "Do you think the letter you sent her arrived before she left?" ada added. To which I just shook my head.

"No ada, her last letter was sent just after I sent her mine. Even with your carrier, I doubt it reached her in time and now she's out in the world and I know not where or how to reach her."

The twins looked at me, Nana, and ada before Elladan blurred out. "Is the elf Elwen has been speaking of an elleth?" he said with a question mark more or less over his face.

"It is Elladan, it is indeed very rare for such a match to happen, but it is not unheard of" ada pointed out to which Elrohir added "Well we need to find her! We can't leave our sister so sad!" Elladan nodded and went on "Yes we need to hunt her down and take her back to Elwen. They need to talk it out!"

Nana, ada, and I smiled at the boy's wish to help. But we had nothing to go after or any knowledge of where she wished to travel and when we told the twins they nodded sadly to the fact that Middle Earth was way too large to go out hunting one elf that could be anywhere. Well not in Mordor, but they saw our point.

The more we spoke of her the more tears filled my eyes. It was like I could see her in front of me, and hear her voice, and laughter but not at the same time. The family spent the evening with me and we had a late dinner in my room, they all stayed until the twins had to go to bed and ada took them, nana wanted to stay for a bit at least.

"You have been thinking much about her have you, not Elwen," Nana said in a statement rather than a question.

"Yes Nana, I have been thinking about her ever since she left and went back with the king."

"Why did you not tell us your feelings for her before? We would have helped you get in contact with her…" I cut Nana off.

"She asked me years ago if it was even possible and I told her what I knew. She did not want to press it my love" Ada said to Nana and she sent him a scolding look.

"And yet you did not tell me? I knew they were close, but not that Elwen had such feelings for her. Elrond Half-elven I am not happy with you" she said firmly.

"I did not truly know my feelings Nana, nor did I know if it even was a possibility here or if you and ada would accept it… and how could she love me?"

Nana looked at me and took my hands.

"How could she not love you Elwen? You are smart, loving, caring, strong, and a good fighter. You two share so much interest and will. I saw that when we had lunch with her, but sadly I only believed it to be a strong friendship and not love… but I do not know I might be mistaken."

Holding Nana's hands, I let out a deep sigh and tears formed in my eyes. "it is too late Nana, she has left and I know not where. I only wish her to be safe and to hopefully see her again one time if that is possible"

"Your heart is truly hurting my daughter… I wish there was something we could do to make your pain ease… is there nothing you know that might help my dear husband?" she asked and looked at Ada.

"Nay there is nothing that can heal such sorrow, but time. That I know of. We will be there for you Elwen and hopefully you will find love as well" he said and smiled at me comforting.

That night I slept in the same bed as my nana and cried like a little elfling getting her feelings out and her soothing voice ever calming me down. Her soft hands are in my hair and her warm lips kiss my forehead. With as tired as I was I drifted to sleep, my head on her chest with the hopes I would see Tauriel again.

Sometime later ada returned.

"How is she?" he whispered to Nana.

"She is exhausted, I do not believe she has slept much as of late" she responded to him as she held her daughter in her arms and kissed her head on her chest.

"I feel so sad she did not feel she could ask me about her feelings, say she loved someone… Or if nothing asked to send letters to that elleth of the Greenwood. It all saddens me deeply."

Nana looked up at him as he whispered.

"She is worried she will disappoint us, my love, we need to make it clear to her that she cannot disappoint us in the way she thinks. In that regard, we failed her and we need to make it right. She knows we love her and the twins more than the world, but elleth love is so unheard of it shamed her to feel what she feels."

She looked down at me and took a breath.

"Is there no way to know where Tauriel went?"

Ada shook his head. "If there was that clue is now cold. She could have gone one place and left for another several times over and with her ranger training, she can hide and not be seen unless she chooses to. To find her I fear we would have to be extremely lucky"

Nana's face saddened for me.

"As I feared. We must hope she finds her way to us and Elwen then"

"For now yes, but I will order the scouts and patrols to have their eyes open for the redhead ranger" Ada commented.

As with the time before the letters arrived, I devoted myself to my duties and took on more of them as well. Meetings with delegations from Arnor, and Lorien, but not the woodland realm. That was still sore to me and I did not wish to see any of my kin from those woods.

I went on patrols that lasted for several days if not longer in hopes that I would see her come towards the valley. A foolish hope, but it was my hope still.

In the end, I had no free time anymore to focus on Tauriel or think about her as I did. The heavy workload was draining me, but also kept my head about water.

I went on longer travels to Arnor to see it before the war arrived to Nana's despair. She hated it when her family was parted. The architecture of the Dunedain was something for itself. Had I not seen it with my own eyes I would not have believed it. They made the Romans pale in comparison and the walls of their cities of Fornost and Annuminas were very impressive. How amazing would it be to see Minas Anor and its beauty?

It saddened me that the time of the Dunedain in the north would come to an end even if that end was long into the future. The men of westerness were tall, strong, and proud. Not like a fallen people after their home was destroyed.

Every night I kept going out for a walk, mostly alone or the twins would come with me as they were very protective of me and hated seeing me sad. Always comforted me and hoped for me to find joy in the stars again. But nothing truly gave me joy until one day Nana informed us at breakfast that she indeed was again with child and at that moment I knew the Evenstar of our people was to be born.

I could not believe that it was already 241 TA. I had been in Middle Earth longer than any human of my old world would ever live and It had felt but a moment. My body had not aged any in that time and for the first time, I truly felt the prowess of the elves in me.

Not only because of how long I had lived and that no aging had happened to my body, but for the senses, I now had control over as well as my abilities in movement, strength, and skills with a bow and arrow and with the blades. From what I was told to be in my old world to what I was shown to be able to do here, at that moment, I felt like I had the skills of a superhero.