Chapter Nine - Someone feels guilty
With great strides, Ashiya marches through the ankle-deep snow, angry with himself.
How could he not notice that Urushihara no longer sees anything?
He lives with him almost twenty-four hours seven days a week in a confined space!
How could he miss something so important?
I am a miserable general. As a current househusband, it is my duty that everything runs smoothly at Devil's Castle and the residents lack nothing. I have criminally neglected my duties.
He stops to scrape a lump of snow out of his half-boots before it melts and soaks his socks. And while he is standing there, the wind refreshes and makes him shudder involuntarily. He freezes, despite his coat, gloves, hat and scarf.
Now, without his magic, he feels the cold much more clearly and he knows that when he is back in the cabin in half an hour, he will be terribly frozen.
And Lucifer was out here for sixteen hours!
Only three-quarters of an hour's walk from the safe cabin!
That thought makes him sick.
When ..., when ..., as he goes on, he asks himself, When did this happen? How long has Lucifer been blind and I haven't noticed?
But the longer he thought about it, the more strange things in Lucifer's behavior he remembers, which he had not noticed further. For example, there was his new obsession with numbers.
The first time he noticed it was about four weeks ago.
He stood at the stove and turned his back on Urushihara when he heard him murmuring softly.
"One...three...four..One half..."
„Urushihara, what are you doing?" he asked him over his shoulder.
He did not turn to him because he did not want to fry the meat for too long. He was trying out how much cooking oil he could save without taking the risk of providing his king with inedible meat.
"I'm going to the bathroom," Urushihara replied, and then Ashiya heard the bathroom door slide back and closed again.
Urushihara's train of thought has always been a closed book, also because he never shared. Therefore, Ashiya did not ask, even when he could observe this behavior more and more often. Urushihara counted the steps to the fridge, to the door and even to the table.
He counted how many steps he needed from the front door to the corridor door outside, and counted the steps that led down to the courtyard.
He counted, counted, counted, he counted constantly, but was always very quiet, so it was easy for Ashiya to miss it at some point.
Disappointed with himself, Ashiya clenches his fists, he's such an idiot!
Even when Urushihara ignored his beloved internet from one day to the next and instead started to contribute to the household, he still had no suspicion. Instead, he was simply glad that the fallen angel had finally overcome his Hikikomori behavior.
He was even so extraordinarily glad that he generously overlooked all the small mishaps that happened to Urushihara. What did a broken glass, a sloppy bathroom or discolored laundry mean when this little shut-in finally, finally helped him?
Of course, he didn't want to discourage him, so he scolded him only a little at such mishaps.
Uruhihara's sudden urge to make himself useful, he had never questioned, but now when he thinks about it, it is obvious: he could only use the internet, when Alas-Ramus sat on his lap and clicked on everything for him - which she did often enough when she was visiting. Then they always watched cartoons or cat videos.
No, he sighs, Alas LOOKED at it, and Lucifer just listened.
At least until he sold the laptop and everything else.
His king was right - no wonder that Lucifer did not mind this loss. He had long since reoriented himself and drove the boredom away with activities where he did not necessarily have to see something.
Something like monotonous housework, for example.
Or make little stuffed animals for Alas-Ramus.
„I'm such an idiot," exclaims Ashiya.
Now he knows why Urushihara begged him three weeks ago for knitting needles, wool and pure sheep wool. At first, he was strictly against it, but it wasn't even three days ago when he made Lucifer cry and because he still felt guilty, he got him what he so desperately wanted.
Ashiya pulls his shoulders up and lowers his head to the ground.
I'm such a bad friend.
Ashamed, he bites his lower lip as he remembers his mad words, which he shouted out angrily:
„You're a no-good, Lucifer! Get lost!"
He was so angry that he not only forgot that besides Maou there were also Emi, Chiho, Suzuno and Alas-Ramus present, but also called this "no-good" by his real name. Therefore, of course, his words seemed much more hurtful than intended, but he did not worry about that at the moment.
"You're wasting us more money than you're worth! If you're hungry, SAY IT, don't just sneak into the fridge! The teriyaki was meant for tonight! Maou-sama is working hard to make us live here and I'm really trying my best to cook healthy food and you just shove me in the middle! What shall we eat now? LOOK AT ME when I talk to you! "
But Urushihara, who stood in front of him like a cat that's fallen in the gutter, let his head hang even lower, pressed his hands to his face, and then, to his great horror, Ashiya heard something he had never heard of him: A sob.
The mischievous whisper from the others at the table fell silent abruptly and from the corner of his eye, he could see that they were just as shocked as he was.
Within a split second, a furious Alas-Ramus rushed at him, kicked and punched his legs, screaming at him to leave her Lucifer alone.
Emi jumped up to take her raging foster daughter away from the frozen Ashiya, and for that she caught a blow from Alas-Ramus, followed by an "I hate you!"
It was the first time that Ashiya experienced this otherwise happy, balanced child so angry.
Urushihara murmured something of "migraine" ,wiped his face, squatted, just stretched out his arms, and Alas-Ramus immediately FLEW into his arms.
They hugged, Urushihara whispered something in her ear and she nodded hesitantly.
Urushihara stroked her hair once more, then he rose, stretched out his hand, and groped along the wall back to his built-in wardrobe, while Alas-Ramus ran to Maou.
Later, Maou, who had a good view of Urushihara's face from his seat at the table, told Ashiya that tears were streaming down Urushihara's cheeks.
Since none of them really knew how to react to it, they did – nothing.
Suzuno invited them to her apartment next door. Her pantry is well-filled and cooking together is fun, she said.
So they left Urushihara alone.
When Maou and Ashiya later returned and cast a tentative glance into the closet, Urushihara had curled up into a ball and hissed at them to leave him alone, he had migraines.
The next morning he apologized at the breakfast table for his behavior and explained it again with a hellish headache that did not make him think straight ahead.
And they believed him ...
Because they didn't know what else to do.
Because they're terrible idiots...
And because they're such terrible idiots, Urushihara probably never told them anything.
Ashiya really can't blame him.
We didn't have to force him to take this short trip, he clenched his fists, he didn't want to go on vacation with us. And why should he? What can he do? Every step in this environment is a step into the unknown for him.
Ashiya pauses, takes a deep breath and then closes his eyes. Then he starts to move again but gives up after two steps already discouraged. It was only two steps, but he was terribly afraid to fall or bump into something.
And Emi threw him out of the car and I mocked him.
He was all alone out here.
Completely helpless.
"We have a lot to make up for."