Mitsuru did in fact manage to put two and two together. But he only briefly considered punching Kyon. And this was only partly because Itsuki explained to them that Haruhi hadn't suddenly taken Kyon's months-old confession seriously. Despite his usual shadiness, his reasoning was sound, so they were all willing to accept for the time being that the world wouldn't end.
With that out of the way, filming could finally begin. Haruhi managed to acquire the waistcoat she mentioned surprisingly quickly, and such a simple change to Mitsuru's outfit left him looking quite sharp indeed. While he still stood out more than he wanted to, he was well aware it could be much worse.
Everyone in the Brigade was at least a little curious to see how much of Haruhi's carefully guarded storyline would become apparent from this first scene to be filmed, so everyone in the Brigade was at least a little disappointed to find the answer was none whatsoever. The first scene to be filmed was an ad.
"Um…" Mitsuru squinted at the cue card in front of him. "...if you have the time, please check out Ohmori Electronics. They've got everything from fridges to batteries, and even…"
"Cut, cut!" Haruhi said. "Mitsuru, if I hadn't already bought from this store…" She thought she faintly heard Kyon pointing out she hadn't, but she ignored it. "...seeing this would not persuade me to. You've got to have more oomph! More power! In fact…take off the shirt."
"What?!" Mitsuru wasn't just shocked at Haruhi, but mostly at himself for not seeing this coming. No matter how close he thought the "too embarrassing" threshold was, it was always closer, and only the simplest change was necessary to take him past it.
"Don't 'what' me!" Haruhi said. "You've got a body that sells products, and you're seriously trying to hide it? What's the problem? It still feels like summer, so you're not going to get cold or anything!"
"You can't force him," Kyon said sternly. "Remember what happened the first time you tried that?"
Haruhi shrugged dismissively. "If he tries that in public, people are going to see a muscular brute attacking a helpless teen girl. The only way it could look any worse for him is if…" A grin suddenly appeared on her face that convinced Kyon that she was much better suited for playing the villain that Yuki was. Speaking of whom… "Hey Yuki, wanna try taking off his shirt?"
Yuki turned her head a few degrees toward Mitsuru, but there wasn't any further indication that she was about to do it. Just as Kyon was hoping she'd understand if he said 'don't' with just a look, Mitsuru decided only he could put the matter to rest.
"That's enough!" He said. "I'll do it myself!"
"I-I'm Mitsuru Asahina, a warrior from the future! And in the future, everything is more powerful! F-flex?"
Mitsuru saw Haruhi shake her head and imitate the motion to explain why it was written on the cue card.
"...I mean…" He brought an arm up into the shakiest flex any of them had ever seen, but dropped the pose as soon as Haruhi started to look impatient. "And, uh… the only place I can count on for real power in this time is Ohmori Electronics! So if you want a taste of the future, come over to Ohmori Electronics, and… and… feel the surge?"
"Cut!" Haruhi said. "Now that's more like it! Way to go, Mitsuru! But the next one's going to be even more intense!"
"...next one?"
Haruhi was right about one thing: It did still feel like summer. But for Mitsuru, it suddenly seemed to get a lot colder.
"I'm…! I'm Mitsuru Asahina, a warrior from the future! So you might be wondering… if I'm so strong, why do I need these?"
Mitsuru stiffly pointed two model guns straight upward. Upon seeing a gesture from Haruhi that presumably meant "get on with it," he relaxed his posture and continued.
"The truth is, these are just models," he said. "But they can still hurt! You'll want to just aim them at things like empty cans. But if you're in a situation where you need a real gun…" He managed a slightly more natural flex this time. "...j-just give me a call, and I'll solve the problem with my fists…"
"Hell yeah!" Haruhi said. "Also, uh… cut. That's it for today! Tomorrow's Saturday, so that'll give us plenty of time to film the real action!"
Mitsuru hoped the "real action" Haruhi was talking about wouldn't be any less "real" if he kept his shirt on.
Once Saturday had arrived, Haruhi didn't waste any time getting to the climactic battle between Mitsuru and Yuki. Of course, Kyon saw the whole production as a waste of time, but he was still glad Haruhi seemed to be rushing through it.
Then again, going this far this soon wasn't exactly a recipe for smooth sailing. Scenes in a movie weren't necessarily filmed in the order they were shown, of course, but having even one prior scene of conflict to build off of would certainly give Mitsuru and Yuki a better idea of what they were doing.
"It's… it's time to make you pay!" Mitsuru said, glad to be fully dressed again as he pointed the same guns from the ad in Yuki's general direction.
"Hey," Kyon said quietly, getting Haruhi's attention. "You think it's worth having him say what she's supposed to be paying for?"
Haruhi looked at him like he'd told her to jump off a bridge. "That'd just be clumsy! Haven't you ever heard of 'show, don't tell'?"
Kyon shrugged. "As long as it gets shown, I guess. Even telling would be better than nothing."
Haruhi seemed satisfied that she'd more or less gotten through to him. "All right, Mitsuru! Fire away!"
Misturu looked into the camera like the professional he was. "...at her? They said we weren't supposed to…"
"As if you're going to hit Yuki," Haruhi said. "She can dodge that no problem. Right, Yuki?"
"It's fine," Yuki said. "Shoot me."
Despite the context, none of them were ready to hear her say that so bluntly. Mitsuru in particular was already hoping he'd never hear it again. But the most likely reason she'd have for repeating herself would be if he hesitated too long.
"Yaaahhh!" He stopped trying to control the shaking in his arms as his fingers found the triggers and stayed firmly on them. BB pellets landed vaguely around where Yuki was standing, and both Mitsuru and Kyon hoped the massacre on display would be enough to satisfy Haruhi's bloodlust.
"Cut!"
Haruhi did not look satisfied.
"Mitsuru, I get what you're going for," she said, "the whole 'screaming warrior' thing, like Rambo. Honestly, it's a nice touch. But can you at least keep your eyes open? It should still look like you're trying to hit Yuki."
"I can't!" Mitsuru said. "I can't look her in the eyes!"
"Really?" Haruhi turned towards Yuki and stared for just a moment before returning her attention to Mitsuru. "Hmm… maybe we can work around that. If we filmed you from behind, you'd be able to... no, wait! I've got a much better idea!"
Before another word could be spoken, she rushed off towards the shopping district again, leaving the rest of the Brigade to stand around feeling stupid. If Haruhi returned and got the slightest impression someone was trying to escape or something, there'd naturally be Hell to pay, but what still bothered Kyon was the silence. What could they do in this situation, if not talk?
On further consideration, Itsuki was probably the only one who might have something to say, and looking at it that way, Kyon was glad he didn't.
"I'm back!" Haruhi said. "I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner. Mitsuru, what do you think of these?"
With nowhere to put the guns in his hands, Mitsuru couldn't take what Haruhi was offering him, but as usual, that didn't bother her one bit. She just shoved them right into his face, not for a closer look but because that was where they were supposed to go. She took a few more seconds to adjust things, which probably would have been a lot quicker if he could just hold still, but finally she was satisfied, and so she took a step back to let the others admire her handiwork.
Kyon tried to think of something that wouldn't be so anticlimactic after such a long and awkward wait. If there was such a thing, this wasn't it. Haruhi had found another way to waste their time.
He just didn't see how a simple pair of sunglasses could make the movie more exciting.