What a pleasant day. Stephanie had enjoyed the ride, the weather, the sights, the food, and most of all the company. Now, they were almost back to the house with Ranger leading the way and giving her a marvelous view of his firm ass and taut legs, muscles clenching and releasing as he rode. Yum.
Biking had been a great idea. There was no way she was going into the water or laying in the sun while she was here. Even if she had a bathing suit, the last thing she wanted was for Ranger to see her in one looking like, well, herself. Her older self. Compared to her, he'd barely aged. Sure, he looked a little older, but he was still the same hot, handsome, sexy man that he'd always been, whereas she showed every single one of those fifteen years.
Her skin was starting to get that crepey look in spots, starting with her shoulders and advancing every year. She weighed almost the same as when she was younger but she'd gone up a full size. Apparently, fat got fluffy as one aged. Who knew? She could swear the hair on her head was thinning, or maybe it was wandering off because lately she'd had to start plucking long dark whiskers off her chin and neck. When she realized she'd have to do the same for her breasts, she'd spent an entire day immersed in diet soda and snack cakes as she fell into a YouTube rabbit hole of beauty tutorials for older women. Older. Women. The fact that she now fell into that category was a blow to her ego and her sense of self. She wasn't sure Ranger would be attracted to this current version of Stephanie Plum.
They arrived back at the beach house and Stephanie put those thoughts out of her mind. For a split second she wondered why the long driveway was empty, then remembered that they'd parked in the garage. She'd been so tired last night that she had barely been paying attention. They walked the bikes down the side yard, between the garage and the house to the backyard.
Within minutes the bikes were locked away in the shed. Ranger led them back into the house via the side door across from the garage. This led into a laundry room. From there they could head straight to the hall that led from the combined living and dining room to the bedrooms and bathroom, or they could turn left and go into the living area through the kitchen.
Ranger took the kitchen route so he could grab two bottles of water from the fridge. Handing one to Steph, he continued into the living room, lighting a lamp along the way. This end of the house faced east and only got the morning sun. Outside it wasn't dark yet, but inside it was already dim. There was silence between them but it was the good kind, where there was no need to speak because they were in harmony.
Stephanie desperately wanted to put her feet up on the large storage ottoman in front of the couch to stretch the muscles in her legs. They'd done that all the time back in Trenton at his penthouse, but she wasn't sure if he had the same house rules here. Then Ranger put his feet up with a barely audible sigh of relief. Good to know that the rule still held. She put her feet next to his and the two of them slouched down into the couch, heads resting on the cushions. It hadn't been a hard day, but it had been a long one. Her legs and lower back were sore and she could use a nap. It'd probably be an early night for her.
As she sipped her water, she thought about her objectives for this trip. Granted, getting here had been a nightmare, but once she was within arm's reach of Ranger all of the irritation and annoyance had fallen away. Something about his presence soothed her. This didn't feel like a visit. It felt like coming home. That was a really good sign for successfully recapturing, and improving, their relationship.
Now, she needed to make amends with Lester. There'd be no chickening out. She'd let Ranger know that it was okay to pass along her current location to Lester, with a humble request to see him. She wanted him to be at ease so he'd be ready to listen, which meant that his preferences would dictate everything about the meeting. The last thing she wanted to do was surprise him.
Stephanie didn't bother to lift her head from the sofa cushion, but rolled her head in Ranger's direction instead. She started to tell him her decision but something outside caught his attention. A black SUV drove slowly past the front window and looked like it was turning into his driveway. She could swear she heard him mutter "shit" as he jumped up from the couch.
"Stay here," Ranger said as he hurried out the front door. "I'll be right back."
The engine noise of the vehicle seemed to be coming from the side yard now, but she couldn't confirm that because the blinds on that window were closed. He'd told her to stay where she was, but he'd rushed out like there was some kind of issue. What if he needed backup? A witness? Someone to call 911, or Rangeman Miami? Dammit. She hated making this kind of decision. Opting to err on the side of caution, she grabbed her phone and followed him out.
The noise of the screen door opening rolled over the sound of someone speaking, so she couldn't tell what was said, or whether it was a man or a woman. Ranger was to the left by the driveway, facing someone tall.
Moving quickly she began to ask, "Ranger? What is –"
Dumbstruck, she stopped so suddenly that she nearly fell over when she realized that the person with Ranger was Lester.
Lester also stopped moving when he saw her. His face quickly shifted from a friendly expression to none at all. His jaw clamped shut, muscles bunching on either side as if he was gritting his teeth. At least it wasn't the blank face she'd seen when he'd dropped into professional ass-kicker mode. This seemed more closed off, more defensive, though she couldn't put her finger on what made her think that.
In a hard voice, Lester asked Ranger, "When were you going to tell me that she was here, primo?"
Although he'd spoken quietly, it must have been loud enough for the people with him to hear, because rounding the corner came what could only be Lester's children. Ranger had told her all about the kids and shown her their pictures as they sat in the cafe the night they met in Chicago.
"She's here?" The oldest boy, Mateo, came around the corner first. Tall for a ten year old, he was all long arms and legs. He had a big smile and asked excitedly. "Miss Rosario's here?"
"Yay! Miss Rosario's here!" exclaimed the next child, seven year old Antonio.
Their sister, four year old Esme, was right on Antonio's heels, repeating "Yay!" in a sing-song voice.
All of the children strongly resembled their father, but Mateo looked so much like Lester that he could have been a clone. Stephanie had seen photos of Lester at that same age, and would be hard pressed to spot the difference.
The kids barely glanced at Stephanie as they looked around for Miss Rosario. If Stephanie remembered correctly, that was the name of a woman Ranger had dated here in Miami, although he hadn't said much about her. The kids clustered around their 'Tio Carlos', chattering and asking where Miss Rosario was.
Bringing up the rear was their mother. Marion? No, Marianne. She was a couple of inches taller than Stephanie with a slender athletic build, auburn hair and, like Lester, green eyes. The expectant look on her face flickered briefly to confusion as she glanced around, then understanding dawned as her gaze settled on Stephanie. Although Steph obviously didn't know her, it seemed that she knew Stephanie. Great. Stephanie sighed to herself, wondering what awful things Marianne had heard about her. However bad the stories had been, they were probably true. Plus, she'd obviously seen photos of Steph or there wouldn't have been that recognition.
She heard Ranger tell the kids that his visitor was Miss Stephanie, not Miss Rosario. Then Marianne deftly herded the children toward the shed in the backyard.
Lester looked at Ranger. "Is this the special project you might need me for? Hm? Couldn't just tell me? Had to ambush me?"
"I asked him not to say anything yet," Stephanie explained, as she slipped her phone into her pocket.
Lester's focus snapped back to her. "What, you thought you'd sneak back in the way you snuck out all those years ago?"
Stephanie shook her head. Shit, this had started off badly. Her muscles had that adrenaline shake and her heart was pounding. "No, I wanted to see you, but I'm not as brave as you. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to go through with it, and if you knew in advance I was coming and then I backed out, you'd be even more disappointed in me than you already are."
Ranger stepped in to help. "The plan was to let you know in private that she was here, and let it be your choice whether or not to meet. I didn't expect to see you here today."
Lester huffed. "Apparently Mateo gave his helmet to some random kid skateboarding at a park who wasn't very good. Kid kept falling and had no helmet or pads, so Mateo gave him his helmet. Forgot to tell us until about an hour ago. Haulover Park is having some kind of festival this weekend, with food trucks and a farmer's market. We're going first thing in the morning, and the kids want to go skating on the trails while we're there. Figured it'd be easier to grab his spare helmet on the way home tonight than run by in the morning."
"Ah." Ranger nodded. "I'll go make sure Marianne knows the code for the alarm on the shed."
Stephanie was pretty sure Marianne had everything well in hand – she had that air of competence that couldn't be faked – and Ranger was using that as a graceful exit so that she and Lester could speak privately. Well, as privately as they could in a front yard in a crowded neighborhood. At least Ranger's presence had deflected some of the intensity of the meeting. Her heart rate was dropping back to normal and the shakiness had stopped. Hopefully now she and Lester could have a productive talk.
Lester waited until Ranger was out of earshot then shook his head and said, "Leaving like that. You really hurt Carlos."
Stephanie felt her throat constrict and she barely had breath to reply. "I know."
Lester folded his arms across his chest. "You hurt me."
Stephanie could swear his voice cracked on that last word. She reached out, touching his arm, but pulled her hand back as if she'd been scalded. Touching was for friends and she didn't know what she and Lester were right now. "I'm sorry."
Lester gave her a hard look. "You hurt Carlos."
"You already said that," she pointed out.
"I can't say it enough."
The hard stare lasted for a few more seconds then Lester gave a long exhale. His shoulders unbowed as if he released all his tension along with his breath, and the blank look left his face. She could see the pain she'd caused when she looked in his eyes.
"Look," Lester said, "I know there were issues on both sides. But I thought we were friends. You could have come to me. You could have reached out even after you left. But you didn't. You walked out on all of us, as if we'd never meant anything to you." His voice got tighter and higher as he spoke. He crossed his arms again, but this time it was more like a self hug. "You were my best friend then you left me, and never looked back, and you didn't even say why. What did I do that was so wrong that you'd just cut me off like that? What?"
The vulnerability showed in his face, in his eyes, and Stephanie realized that the worst part about making amends wasn't the apology. It was having to see first hand the pain that she'd caused. The destruction that she'd left in her wake. Her chest was so full of churning emotions that it felt like her bones would break from the pressure. It took two tries to get sound through her throat and out of her mouth.
"Nothing," she replied. "Nothing at all. This is on me. All of it is on me. I left because I was an idiot, then everything went wrong and I hit bottom and I couldn't come back because I felt unworthy, especially because of how I acted even before I left. Like I was the bigger expert looking down on everyone else. I was so awful to you guys and then I left you all without a word."
She wiped her eyes, then dabbed the back of her hand against her nose, wishing desperately for a tissue or paper towel or something. She sniffed hard, then continued.
"I couldn't imagine being welcome. In my head, I was such a loser that it was better for everyone if I stayed away. So I tried to go on without you guys, and I did but it was hard, and I missed you all. Every. Single. Day. I especially missed you, Lester, because you weren't just my best friend, you and Hector were the brothers that I should have had. And I'm sorry. I'm just so, so, sorry and I hope you'll forgive me. Please? Will you forgive me?"
She waited, heart hammering, for the words she hoped to hear.
Instead there was a loud whisper as Antonio asked "Is Daddy mad?"
That was when Stephanie realized that the others had returned, and were hovering near the back of the SUV. Antonio had apparently asked that question of his mother, because he was looking up at her. Granted, Stephanie didn't know the boy, but she thought his voice was tight with worry. Mateo looked anxious as well. Ranger and Marianne were looking polite, the social version of the blank face.
Stephanie remembered when she was a kid how easy it was to get upset and felt bad for having it out with Lester right in front of his children. It was her fault his family was upset. Just another in a lifetime of bad decisions. That seemed to be the only kind she ever made.
Lester heard his son too, and turned to answer the question himself. "It's okay, Tonio. Daddy's not mad. He just has some big feelings right now."
Antonio gave Stephanie a side-eye worthy of a Burg matron. "You always say that talking about them makes us feel better, but you don't look like you feel better."
"What do we sometimes need after we talk?" Marianne asked him.
Mateo, glancing between Lester and Stephanie, answered first. "Space."
Lester nodded. "That's right, mijo. And what does that mean?"
It was fascinating to watch Lester morph into Dad Mode as he put aside his 'big feelings' so that he and his wife could have a teachable moment with their kids. This was definitely a side of him that she'd never imagined. It looked good on him. She could see that he and Marianne made a great team.
Mateo said, "It means that we need time by ourselves to think about what was said, and to let the big feelings settle down."
Antonio's little voice still sounded worried as he asked Lester, "When you get your space will you be okay?"
Stephanie was right back to waiting for the words she needed to hear from Lester. He glanced over at her. It was an assessing look, as if he was mentally calculating a complex mathematical formula that divided years of hurt feelings by minutes of apology, and factored in variables such as close friendship, resentment, and compassion. She hoped the end result would be in her favor. If not, she'd just have to accept it.
Lester nodded and looked at Stephanie as he answered his son. "Yes. We'll be okay."
Stephanie nearly sagged with relief. Then Antonio, casting furtive glances her way, asked his father, "Will the lady be okay?"
Stephanie replied before Lester could. "Yes. I just need some space and I'll be fine too." She tried to give him a reassuring smile. It must have worked, because he smiled back at her.
"We'd better get going," Marianne said softly.
Lester nodded. Ranger opened the back door of the vehicle, and he and Marianne started loading the kids in.
"We," Stephanie hesitated, not sure how to phrase the question to Lester. "We will be okay again, won't we?"
"Yeah," he said. "We will. Come here."
Lester reached for her and wrapped his arms around her in a big hug. They stood that way for a bit, rocking a little before they let go.
"I'll see you again before you leave, right?" he asked.
"Uh-huh." Stephanie nodded. "I'm going to visit Rangeman Monday, so I can see the guys and say hello."
"Good. I'll see you then." Lester kissed her forehead then got into his vehicle.
As they watched the SUV reverse down the driveway, Stephanie felt Ranger's warm body against her back. His arms circled her waist and he murmured "You okay, querida?"
Resting her arms atop his, she nodded in answer then leaned back into him, glad of his comfort. She was also glad he was behind her because she never could cry pretty. Her nose was clogged and runny and she could tell her face was blotchy and her eyes were red. When the vehicle turned the corner at the cross street, Ranger kissed her temple then led her inside.
They resumed their seats on the couch, feet on the ottoman, water bottles in hand. Stephanie sipped hers and mulled over the exchange with Lester. Her thoughts kept circling around the same points: that she'd caused a great deal of emotional damage when she left, that she'd made it worse by staying away, and, most importantly, that he said they'd be okay. Her eyes started to tear up again and the water in her bottle sloshed as her hand shook but this time, it was from relief. The feeling was so strong it was like a river washing through her and she damn near wanted to sob from the force of it. Ranger switched his bottle to his other hand so he could hold her hand in his. That little bit of comfort did her in.
Chin quivering, she held her breath and covered her eyes with the crook of her elbow, water bottle still in hand. Gentle fingers pulled it from her grip, then she felt movement under and around her. One of his arms slipped under her at the waist, rolling her to lay half on top of him. The other slid up her spine, rubbing soft circles between her shoulder blades. Her arm closest to him moved up his side to his shoulder, the other arm draped across his chest. Her knee slid over his thighs as she pressed her face into his neck and big choking sobs burst out of her, jerking them both with their force. There was a low continuous hum flowing over and wrapping around her as he soothed her with words as well as touch. Spanish, English, she wasn't sure, only the sound of it mattered. Deep and warm, it blended with the rhythmic touch on her back lulling her to sleep.