Chapter 11: Districts Fall, Everybody Dead
[One by one, the prisoners begin to weep and curl in horror as both Vampiros and Django reveal the excruciating details of Manny's past. As soon as day breaks, some journalists are busy writing down details about the "truth" they heard. Suddenly, Django appears, astonishing the journalist.]
Django: "Of all the numerous rumors I've heard about the Rivera family, the tale involving 'Rodolfo's son' and his wife being assaulted and left for dead was as shocking as the 5 years of Sartana's rule of East Miracle City." (indignant) You've got to be kidding me. This is how you'll introduce our story on the front page newspaper?!
Prisoner: Hey! It's a work in progress. At least I'm trying to compare certain historical events with what I just heard from you guys.
Django: First of all, what my friend went through was painstaking and brutal compared to those 5 years in E.M.C. Secondly, the police in E.M.C. were taking kickbacks while the previous municipal president told the Mexican army not to send troops to save tourists from being used as bargaining chips for uranium! 45 of those 144 tourists died the following 4 weeks! 15 of them were killed because Sartana was bored!
Prisoner: I know. I was there when it happened. My reputation was blown back to zero because I criticized how our government handled the situation.
[Rasta Vampiro conks the journalist with a 2x4 board, knocking him unconscious. Django, unamused, gets up and walks with Rasta towards a car.]
Prisoner: Hey! Where's our ride?
Django: Fix your buddy's front page headline and then we'll talk!
[The car drives off and disappears into the road.]
[Intro]
[Inside the car, Rasta Vampiro and Django are trying to cope with what happened last night.]
Django: So, is Manny alright?
Rasta Vampiro: He's coping right now, rude boy! That panic attack is why he needs to take his medicine. Even that gum he hates is necessary to deal with the trauma.
Django: He was in prison. They confiscated his stuff when they decided to chain him up. That gum is probably lost as we speak.
Rasta Vampiro: What else is in your mind, rude boy?
Django: (sighs) There's another person with the blue eyes.
[Rasta stops the car after hearing the revelation.]
Rasta Vampiro: How!? Where!? When!?
Django: Don't know. Don't know. And how should I know!? In either case, we found more corpses underneath Miracle City's sewers.
Rasta Vampiro: He's back! That motherfucker with the delusions has resurfaced!
Django: Unfortunately. Also, I need to know why Manny says he hates his mom so much?
Rasta Vampiro: It's complicated. Let's just say she isn't herself anymore.
[Rasta starts the car and continues driving back to the compound. They arrive at the compound before the clock hits 10 am. Numerous Vampiros are seen carrying wooden boards and tools with Django and Rasta exiting the car.]
Rasta Vampiro: Hey! How's the project coming along!?
Belgian Vampiro: So far, we have finished 53% of construction. The lower levels are complete. All that is left is the power, water, upper levels and transportation systems.
Rasta Vampiro: Excellent!
Django: What are you up to?
Rasta Vampiro: You see, rude boy. Nobody here is using this land here. This was once a housing project meant for the citizens of West Miracle City. We, however, found out it was a ploy from the rich to drive them off their homes to these planned community houses which are just favelas with fancy windows. The poor go to these favelas and the rich dismantle the historical sites for expensive condos nobody can afford! So, we bulldoze these fake houses into something useful: Hacienda Rivera!
French Vampiro: Basically, a Mexican Versailles but with farmland, an airstrip, and public transport.
Django: Like?
French Vampiro: Subway, monorail, high speed rail, and light rail. Eco-friendly transport to reduce the carbon emissions the rich spew out in the air.
Django: Are there going to be solar panels installed here?
Belgian Vampiro: Solar, wind, and hydroelectric energy. Anything to ween off fossil fuels.
Django: Even lunar energy?
French Vampiro: Our R&D are still working on it. Can't seem to make it function right.
Django: Hmm. So, where's my buddy?
Belgian Vampiro: He was inside his hut. He woke up with no memory of last night's event and went to town looking for conchas.
Django & Rasta: (unison) WHAT!
Ernest Vampiro: That's bad, right?
Turkish Vampiro: He woke up, disoriented, went to town and you didn't alert any one of us about this?!
Texan Vampiro: In our defense, we were building train tracks.
Sikh Vampiro: And these solar panels aren't going to build themselves!
Django: (sighs) Look, me and Rasta will venture to town to get him back home. Anyone else who wants to help, get in!
[Django, Rasta, Shaolin, Rabbi, Turkish, Ramen, and Mexican Vampiro all head to Miracle City. Entering a highway, the group find themselves in the middle of a traffic jam. Cars and trucks honk wildly as exhaust fumes cloud the atmosphere. Trying to find an easier route, the car heads towards a ramp only to find more traffic. In a hurry, Django pulls out the Sword of the Jaguar and slices the bottom of the ramp and the car lands on a canal. Rasta pushes a button and the vehicle transforms into a boat car. Using their knowledge of the canal, they head to the city and arrive at the end of the canal and into Porgy Bay.]
Django: (sigh) Porgy Bay. This used to be home to West Miracle City's bustling fisheries.
Rasta Vampiro: Once a gathering place for fishermen, some stretching back to Aztec times, their fishing abilities were said to envy others in Mexico.
Mexican Vampiro: Now it's abandoned with empty piers and boarded apartments. As for the roads, since nobody comes here, the pavement broke and some streets have sunk to the ocean floor.
Rasta Vampiro: According to the government here, fish stocks here have dwindled to extinction due to overfishing. Strange thing is, rude boy here found a report in his mansion that says Porgy Bay's fish are under least concern status. Something bothers me about this: Why would the government want to get rid of the fishermen here? And for what purpose?
Django: Who wrote the report?
Rasta Vampiro: Scientists from the IUCN, EPA, and NOAA. They insist that the area is healthy and vibrant with life.
Django: Yet the people fled to Alcapulco for work. I met one fishmonger who told me he was at first adamant to stay only for his pride to falter from trespassing lawsuits.
[They spot a boat near the coast.]
Django: What's that?
Rasta Vampiro: That must be the S.S. Alanna Ubach! My guess is the Caribbean Vampiros have already finished the remodeling. (stops the car and opens the door to let in a Vampiro who arrived via swimming) Hi there! You from the yacht there?
D.R. Vampiro: Yes! We already remodel the boat to meet the boy's wishes! The only problem we got is where to dock it.
Turkish Vampiro: Don't though. Last thing we need is a luxury boat in the middle of impoverished territory.
Mexican Vampiro: In this area, that would arouse suspicion. A superyacht in the middle of the poorest parts of the city.
Rasta Vampiro: Let's continue driving.
[The car starts and leaves Porgy Bay. They arrive at Jorge R. Gutierrez and look at a semi-active district with some small businesses foreclosed and not much pedestrian activity.]
Rasta Vampiro: What happened here?
Django: According to this report I got from his office, R. Gutierrez, Equihua, Alazraqui, and Miguel Ferrer districts are slated for demolition to become high tech offices, financial centers, and condos. As for the "filthy degenerates", if Mansiones Miricales fails to divert them, then Operation Porqueira will make them reconsider.
[Several Vampiros look at Django with assault rifles getting cocked.]
Django: I get what you're feeling. My bud told me about the "incident".
Rasta Vampiro: Everyone calm down. Rude boy was just reading the paper.
[They lower the assault rifles as Django continues reading.]
Django: As for the other parts of the West, Saint Guerrero, Little Michoachan, Chiapa Central, and PaViGa (Pancho Villa Gardens) will be given to the U.S. government in exchange for CIA expertise in overthrowing the Mexican President.
Rasta Vampiro: The sneaky fucking bastard! What gives him the right to sell land to stage a coup.
Django: Question is, why those distinct areas? I mean Chiapa Central was pretty much abandoned after Calle Porqueira blew up. Little Michoacan has some value, if those taco stands still exist. What's in Saint Guerrero?
Mexican Vampiro: Churches, brownstones, and cemeteries.
[Django looks worried]
Turkish Vampiro: You okay?
Django: I was resurrected and fed into the lies of that conniving bitch of a grandma. Ever since then, I've been spelunking in Mexico's gravesites to find Sartana's lair and discover how I was resurrected.
Mexican Vampiro: Didn't she use that mystical guitar to revive you?
Django: (sarcastic) Yeah, I was brought back from the dead from a moldy lute. (serious) No. This was different. Someone else besides her was responsible. And so far, all the mausoleums led me back to West Miracle City. If St. Guerrero has the answer, I fear the inevitable.
Shaolin Vampiro: Be not afraid, my apparition fellow. We, too, are in a never ending journey for the answer. But, I must ask: What does PaViGa provide the U.S. government?
Mexican Vampiro: If it means illegal immigrants taking our jobs, then let Uncle Sam justify by taking some land.
D.R. Vampiro: And like Guantanamo, parts of Xocolitzo are property of the U.S. government, therefore anyone who enters these areas "illegally" are deemed terrorists and are killed on site.
Mexican Vampiro: Why do you ask about St. Guerrero though?
Django: If that district has cemeteries, then some of those mausoleums might have underground lairs with "that stuff".
Ramen Vampiro: What "stuff"?
Rasta Vampiro: You know, "tar blood".
Ramen Vampiro: (confused) You need to be more specific than that?
Shaolin Vampiro: You know, "yokai juice".
Ramen Vampiro: (floored) What!? There's that in here?!
Django: Yes. And she stored some of it somewhere. Along with the bastard who threw corpses in sewers for laughs.
Ramen Vampiro: (confused) What?
Rabbi Vampiro: There's a madman who was a byproduct of the Third Reich and somehow found that skeleton bitch for more of that horrid liquid.
Ramen Vampiro: Wait! You mean to tell me that he's back?
Django: Yes.
Ramen Vampiro: The stars themselves never told me anything about events like this.
Rasta Vampiro: That's the thing with prophecies. They're either true or false. It's all about chance.
[The car heads to a highway and leaves Jorge R. Gutierrez for St. Guerrero. Along the way, they notice several other districts in disrepair. One sign says "Mercurio Avenue - Turn Right' along with words spray painted "Do not enter, we're closed". Another sign on the highway says "Cilantro City - 9 miles" with a ramp leading to the district boarded up. After endless stretches of highway with abandoned gas stations, they arrive at Saint Guerrero. The district felt eerie as the car approached a graveyard. Exiting the car, Django and Turkish Vampiro walk along a path and find some random citizen breaking into a mausoleum.]
Django: Hey! What are you up to!
[As soon as the stranger heard, gunshots ended the silence. Django, however, was unharmed.]
Django: Bullets. On a corpse? You really never met me, have you?
?: Just die already!
[Gunshots ring the graveyard. Turkish Vampiro hides near some tombstones until he rams the stranger, grabbing them as they try to escape. Rasta, after hearing the gunshots, arrives just in time, picks the stranger's pockets, pulls out a wallet, and reads the driver's license.]
Rasta Vampiro: Let's see here. Davi Rocco. Age 17. Height: 5'8". From DiCicco District, East Miracle City. What brings you here to St. Guerrero?
Davi: I'm here because I need the stuff!
Django: What stuff?
Davi: The stuff! The stuff that makes people powerful! I know it's here because Sartana hid it here!
Django: What?!
Davi: Yeah! It's here. The power is here!
Django: You drank it!
[Rasta pulls out a flashlight, opens Davi's eyelids, points the light at the eyes and sees black pupils in him.]
Rasta Vampiro: He has the blood in him! It's too late to save him.
Davi: (struggling) I don't need to be saved! I need to have the POWER!
[Suddenly, Davi's hand starts to show cracks. The cracks spread to his arm and then his face. They eventually surround his entire body until Turkish Vampiro lets go of the boy. Laying on the ground, his limbs transform into hooves as the entire body grows bigger and bigger as his chest bursts into a bloody rib cage that reveals several blackened organs with protruding arteries surrounding the bones. His face distorts to that of a goat/donkey hybrid as horns pop out his forehead, spikes plop out his back, teeth change into sharp fangs, and a spiked ball for a tail. His eyes go from ghost white to black with red irises as he looks down at Django and the Vampiros.]
Davi: (demonic) Hahaha! SO, WHERE IS THE BLOOD!?
[Django pulls out his rifle as the Vampiros pull out their assault rifles and aims at the demonic hybrid.]
Django: I don't know and I don't give a fuck!
Rasta Vampiro: FIRE!
[The group shoots at the entity as he tries to attack the group at the gravesite. Tombstones fly off the ground and trees get destroyed as Davi uses his tail to damage Django. Some Vampiros in the car run at the gunfire and support them with rocket launchers and anti-tank rifles. The sound of the explosions result in the yard worker coming out and discovering the gun fight. Panicked, he runs towards a cabin in the yard, picks up a phone, and calls them about the events happening outside. Dodging his spiked tail, Django shoots Davi right in the eye and he roars in pain from the attack. Disoriented, Shaolin Vampiro picks up a rocket and throws it at the demon, exploding his rib cage and exposing his organs. The Vampiros fire their guns at the organs with some attaching a grenade launcher barrel to fire explosive rounds at the beast. One of those rounds hits his heart and explodes in a blazing fury. Screeching in pain, Davi tumbles, falls down a mausoleum, which cracks open, and plunges down a hole, never to be seen again.]
Django: (catching his breath) Damn! I fought against some terrible people, but that makes my battle at Tehran feel anti-climatic.
Rabbi Vampiro: I don't know. That ayatollah was very red for some reason.
Django: In fairness, people mistook me for their dead relative.
Rasta Vampiro: Let's just check this place before more bad things happen.
[The group head towards the giant hole Davi created. Using grappling hooks, Django, Rabbi, and Rasta descended slowly to find an entrance. A few miles deep, Rabbi Vampiro finds a destroyed staircase with a door whose hinges have been broken. Heading towards the site, the group open the door and uncover a bunker with information.]
Django: I'm not surprised.
Rabbi Vampiro: Just like his Furher.
Rasta Vampiro: That man must die for his sins!
Django: Let's see, posters of the Schutzstaffel, a map detailing the locations he visited for research, vials of "black blood" residue, and . . . wait. What's this?
[Django picks up a book with the title. "Progress". Opening it, he finds notes detailing test subjects enduring the process of "black blood", newspaper clippings of missing villagers, one of whom was a 3 year old boy, history book pages detailing the fall of Nazi Germany, with scribbling stating: "And yet, I Live!"confessions about the party's failures and how meeting "Sartana" inspired him to revive the quest for immortality. Eventually, he finds the source of the "black blood" in the book written in red ink: "The Cult of Xibalba"! Django drops the book and the Vampiros look at the horrified skeleton as Rasta picks up the journal and is astonished to find out why.]
Rasta Vampiro: (astonished) The Cult of Xibalba.
Rabbi Vampiro: What do you know about this cult?
Django: Mostly rumors. It's said that they've existed since the age of the Toltecs. Apparently, they're a group of disgruntled zealots who believe that Santa Muerte is an evil false idol who tricked Xibalba into the position as king of the Land of the Forgotten and that he alone is the answer of true happiness.
Rasta Vampiro: They're nasty as they're deluded. How they came into contact with "black blood" remains a mystery. But if they came into contact with this bastard, everything else makes sense.
Django: But we don't know where Sartana stashed her vile liquid and this book barely mentions the location. If it's here, then we are fucked.
Ramen Vampiro: I'm sorry to interrupt but we need to leave now!
Django: Ahh! Where did you come from?
Ramen Vampiro: I climbed down via the rope. Also, the cops are here!
Django: Shit! Alright, everyone take what you can carry and then destroy the place.
[The group leave the bunker with all the papers and leave behind enough C-4 to obliterate a safe deposit vault. Climbing up the rope, moans and roars echo the hole as the group reach the ground. Surveying the landscape, they hide in the debris as police survey the battleground. Heading towards the car, Rasta starts the car, floors the pedal, and they leave St. Guerrero with the bunker explosion distracting the police. Entering a ramp, they continue to find Manny in the city. They soon arrive at an intersection where several signs on the highway are either missing or broken into pieces. Heading northeast, they arrive at a former seaside port with police tape covering the boardwalk.]
Django: What? Where are we?
Ramen Vampiro: According to the map here, we're in Michelada Cove.
Mexican Vampiro: You know, they've had the best micheladas in town.
Rasta Vampiro: Alright, going back!
[They enter the car, enter a ramp, exit left, and arrive near the border.]
Django: Damn! We're in Frontera.
[Looking around, Turkish Vampiro spots billowing smoke out in the air. Thinking the obvious, the group heads to the location and arrives at Old Miracle City, now charred and in ruins. Exiting the car, the group split up and try to find Manny in the rubble.]
Django: Dude!? Dude!? Dude!?
[moaning]
Django: Bud? You in there?
[moaning]
Django: Manny?
Gay guy: Help me.
Django: Alright, I'll try to remove the rubble!
[Django picks up one stone at a time before finding a gruesome discovery: the victim's upper body is all that remains.]
Gay guy: (dying) Hey. My legs are gone. Oh well.
[The victim dies from his injuries as Rasta Vampiro arrives with troubling news.]
Rasta Vampiro: I see you found one of them. Is he?
Django: Dead? Yes. The lower parts of him are missing. What the fuck happened here?
Rasta Vampiro: We've just combed the area and found that there are dead bodies of the LGBT community. Something tells me that this was the government sweeping away the "gay disease" off the land for the renewal project.
Django: Then my bud is going to be pissed.
Turkish Vampiro: Hurry! I think I found him!
[Rasta and Django head off to the site and find Manny, distraught and catatonic, as he sits near the debris with a plate of conchas beside him. Trying to alert him about the ongoing fire, Manny begins to talk.]
Manny: (sigh) I don't get it.
Django: What?
Manny: I don't get it. I help a lot of people in dealing with problems that neither the military or the police can handle. I save the innocent and fight the guilty. I help those whom society singled out as the probable cause and show them absolute justice. I try to stay one step behind the law, knowing my actions will be judged by millions of government organizations due to my demeanor, look, and behavior rather than my charity. I try to live a normal life based on society's standards and yet they continue to annoy me. What I've witnessed is abysmal. I was minding my business, walking to a bakery, ordering some conchas, and heading for a coffee shop when I detected a man coming. What I never thought I would find was a gay bear in flames wailing at the bystanders to help him put out the fire! I saw hundreds of people looking at the bear and one of them laughed at him like it was some sort of joke! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING FUNNY ABOUT AN INNOCENT MAN DYING FROM A BATHSHIT SYSTEM OF THIS GOVERNMENT'S POLICY TOWARDS THE LGBT! CAN ANY OF YOU TELL ME!?
[Manny looks at the group with a violent stare as they don't have the words to calm him down. Suddenly, the silence is broken when someone talks to him.]
Bystander: Yeah. I'll say it. It's because of you. You came back to this city when the majority here decided that this city isn't worth fighting for. You came and gave people hope. (sarcastic) Well, look at what happened here, El Tigre! (adamant) You and the rest of your posse decided to create a stupid canal even though the government already said that the dam was providing us the water we need. Then you attacked the MCPD and killed a powerful figure in the Suarez family. Not only that, you broke out of Calavera and released numerous criminals into the city, some of whom have committed serious felonies. You say you're here to help but really we were better off without you and the rest of your atrocious family. Now you ask why we should care about these miserable faggots squirming a former historical site is proof that you don't help the people, you only help your selfish vision of this city. You, those freaks, Sartana's grandson and the rest of those maricones! I hope you die a miserable death like your grandpapi did! And another thing . . .
[Before the bystander can finish his sentence, he's squished flat and dies immediately. Turning around and looking up, he spots a goat demon who's looking gleeful at him.]
Davi: (demonic) FINALLY! I HAVE FOUND YOU, EL TIGRE! I CAN FINALLY FINISH MY MISSION THAT THE GREAT SERGIO BESTOWED UPON ME! ONCE YOU'RE DEAD, I'LL CONTINUE DESTROYING THIS PART OF TOWN AND RETURN A HERO! I MIGHT EVEN GET A . . .
[Manny, upset, pulls out the jaguar katana and the spine katana to slice the monster before he can finish his sentence. With two slices at his neck, Manny puts away his swords and Davi's head cuts clean off his body as it collapses to the ground. The Vampiros, Django, and Manny do nothing except watch the demon boil away to nothing. The sun sets as the group heads back to Hacienda Rivera. There, Manny hears from Django what he and the Vampiros uncovered from St. Guerrero.]
Manny: So, the Nazis are back.
Django: Yes but no. One of them is in Mexico and we have no idea where he is?
Manny: Fucking Butterman! When I find him, I'll slit that throat of his so hard he'll be feeling it in the afterlife.
Rasta Vampiro: Also, we need to find out if the Cult of Xibalba exists.
Manny: Obviously. If they had any connection to Butterman, then the corpses underneath Miracle City and that goat/donkey demon thing proves where he found it.
Ramen Vampiro: What is it? I heard it as yokai juice but what else is it?
Manny: Xibalba Blood. The most fucked up liquid that man has ever drank.
Django: It comes from the underworld king himself. It's what brings back Sartana every time she's defeated. Just pour it on a decomposed body and bam, she lives. And according to our recent adventures around the world, several people have come into contact with our Nazi scientist and they've been transformed into monsters before dissolving into nothing. Where he got the liquid, however, was a secret that not even I know. The only thing about it was that Xibalba told his daughter to stash it inconspicuously. So far, the gravesites around Mexico where Xibalba Blood was found were Alcapulco, Nuevo Leon, and Isla Mujeres.
Manny: You're joking about the last one, right?
Django: Anyway, we need to find the motherlode and destroy the liquid before more death can happen.
Rasta Vampiro: We also need to keep a low profile. I think the U.S. military might swoop in and capture our hero.
Django: That does raise a question: Why are you hiding? I mean, this is the sort of thing that would've been dealt with in 5 days instead of 7 months.
Manny: I might be a citizen but I'm not a U.S. citizen.
Django: And that matters why?
Rasta Vampiro: You see, rude boy, Xocolitzo is ⅔'s owned by the United States of America and West Miracle City is the only part that remains Mexican. Because of what you boys did to find out why that doof of a Municipal President went east, you are, legally, wanted by the U.S. government for a lot of crimes involving kidnapping, espionage, and attempted murder.
Manny: And therefore I'm a threat to Uncle Sam as the army claims victory to the battles we've done and I get blamed for being the instigator. Simply put, I get the blame, they get the spoils.
Django: Damn. America is a messed up place.
Manny: United States of America. You need to be specific, Jangy. Besides, the country isn't the problem. It's actually fun to be in the states. It's the government and who's appointed that's the problem. Whether it's some xenophobe with a badge or some numbskull doing their job. Either way, I already have the Mexican government to deal with, even though it wasn't my fault. The last thing I need is the two countries teaming up to take me down.
Ernest Vampiro: You guys need to see this!
[The group rush towards the living room as Ernest Vampiro raises the volume at the TV. The news starts to talk about Old Miracle City's incident.]
Quintina: What started as a small fire turned into an enormous blaze as citizens of this district have been declared dead by the hospital staff treating them here. The incident however was later interrupted by roars and screams of what people here say was an enormous monster destroying buildings with a "spiky tail". In either case, nobody was injured and police said only one man was dead from a manhole fire. The citizens then say that El Tigre was here sitting near the destruction with a plate of conchas beside him. Whatever the symbolic meaning is behind that is beyond me, but we know one thing and that is . . .
[The camera turns off and we then see Esmeralda, bored]
Esmeralda: (interrupting) Okay! That's enough, estupido! Now go and get me coffee! We apologize for my assistant's blatant words about the incident. All we know was some people were killed by El Tigre out of sheer bloodlust gore. Although, those conchas were appetizing. I just wish there's a Spanish version. Anywho, Old Miracle City's fire was ultimately stopped thanks to the courageous efforts of our special guest, Major General Luke Barrington.
M.G. Luke: Thank you, Esmeralda. It is true that the district was the result of the F.M.C.A., M.I.E.R.D.A.A., and other factions that were the failures of Mexico's infrastructure. Hahaha. We, however, have not captured the elusive El Tigre. That menace to society makes Carlos "The Jackal" Rameriez look like happy hour at The Golden Cantina.
Esmeralda: Speaking of, any group 5 or more shall receive a 5% discount for a glass of champagne or tequila shot at The Golden Cantina. Dine in only.
M.G. Luke: Exactly. I swear on our nation's army that we shall arrest that monster and sentence him to death immediately so that all of you can rest easily.
[Manny turns off the TV]
Manny: Major General Luke Barrington.
Rasta Vampiro: That self absorbed, xenophobic, homophobic, sexist, waste of honor and dignity excuse of a soldier.
Ernest Vampiro: Let's just say me, Jim-bob, and Ma ain't happy to know he exists.
Django: That man is who you've been avoiding?
Manny: Avoiding, fighting, being blamed, doing his dirty work, and struggling with. So, yes.
Django: He reminds me of those rogue cops back in Bolivia. The self righteous, yet incompetent Cholita Brothers.
Manny: Yeah, but even the Cholitas there knew you were a good boy. What happened to the brothers, though?
Django: Something involving Che Guevara and a plunger.
Manny: Like we always say, it makes sense in context.
Django: In either case, what do you think he's up to.
[Manny ponders for a bit and turns on the TV]
M.G. Luke: And one more thing, isn't your niece getting married tomorrow or something.
Esmeralda: Yes she is! But it's actually in a few days. Why do you ask?
M.G. Luke: Let's just say I have a meeting with this fella named Sergio and he's got some hardware for the military. He says the army here is underwhelming and useless with his wares and would like to donate my men with his technological advancements.
Esmeralda: He's something, isn't he. Started out with a dream and now makes the majority of our systems work. Our wifi here has the strongest bandwidth than other countries combined. Our speed is so fast, all it takes is one click and bam, I'm on another site without that loathsome page loading or stream without slow buffering!
[Manny turns off the TV]
Django: Something's on your mind, isn't it?
Manny: We need to stop that wedding!
[Everyone looks confused at Manny's words]
Django: What?
Manny: We need to stop this wedding. If this Sergio is who I've heard about, then he's obviously this chump who starves an innocent girl for laughs.
Django: What else is on your mind?
[Shadow Manny gets a lighter and lights up Manny's joint]
Manny: (smoking his medicine) After you and my shadow left for Rodriguez's house, I found a girl in a dumpster. I took her with me, healed her, kept her in my bed, and accidentally bit her neck.
[Django is livid by the response]
Django: YOU DID WHAT!?
Manny: When you're asleep, dreams become reality.
Django: Do you have any idea what you've done!?
Manny: Yes. And I plan to fix it. Also, those souls I've kept were actually her's.
Django: How were they stolen?
Manny: Tried to tell the thieves while in prison but no answers were given.
Django: You know what happens when other people are left exposed and untreated!?
Manny: Yes and I would've made sure that was avoidable if I knew who'd knocked me unconscious. Anyway, we have two possible outcomes. One, the best case scenario, whatever is inside of her will flow throughout the body and while it'll change her physically, mentally, and psychologically, she'll still be the same person.
Django: Or two, the worst case scenario, in that whatever is inside of her will turn her into a worse villain than you ever faced. Also, if she defeats you, nothing can stop her as she destroys the world in a blaze of fury.
Manny: (optimistic) In either case, I need to save her from this marriage, take her away from there, train her to control her powers, and try to add more steps in this vague plan of mine.
Rasta Vampiro: At this point, tag us along too.
Manny: Normally, I reject but ok.
Django: Do I need to ask?
Rasta Vampiro: Those weapons that Sergio has are a threat to the stability of peace and prosperity here and giving the U.S. will cause more harm than good. We need to dismantle those weapons, burn any schematics, and take any crates back to base.
Manny: Alright, we got our missions. Let Operation: Wedding Crash begin!
End of Chapter 11