The Thirty Day Roommates

by nicetwin123

America and Russia have a tense relationship, so in an attempt to improve it America's boss makes America host Russia in one of his houses for a month. Neither one of them is thrilled with this, but try and not fight the best they can. Even though they clash on just about everything they can't help but both agree that they can't wait for the thirty days to end.

9. Phone calls, Tears, and Hugs (Day 5 & 6)

It had started with a call from Belarus. They had been eating breakfast when she had called. Ivan had been surprised when he had read the caller ID, seeing as she didn't call him very often. But as soon as he accepted the call, he had to yank the phone away from his ear due to how loud her screaming was.

"BIG BROTHER, HOW COULD YOU?! I THOUGHT YOU WOULD CHOOSE BETTER THAN THAT CAPITALIST PIG! HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU! I AM COMING OVER AT ONCE AND I AM GOING TO-

Ivan's face drained of color. "Calm down, please!" He begged. "What are you talking about? Why are you coming over!? Please do not! I do not think we could afford to pay the damages on America's doors!"

"Say what? Who are you talking to? Why are my doors in danger?" Alfred asked in confusion, stopping mid bite and giving Ivan a confused look. Ivan ignored him.

"WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?!" Belarus howled, making Ivan start to shake. "DO NOT TRY TO PLAY DUMB!"

"But I really do not know what you are talking about!" Ivan said desperately.

"DO NOT LIE TO ME! FRANCE JUST SENT ME THE EVIDENCE!"

"Evidence? What evidence?!" Ivan asked worriedly.

"WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW!" Belarus yelled. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!"

"Um, should I be concerned?" Alfred asked, slowly putting down his fork. "Ivan, what's going on?"

Ivan gestured for Alfred to shut up as Belarus continued to angrily shout at him. "Natalia, is Ukraine there? Could you please put her on? No, I'm not trying to get rid of you!" Ivan said in exasperation, wincing as she shrieked at him again. "Would you please get her!? I need answers and you are not giving them to me!"

Alfred sat quietly for a few minutes watching Ivan argue with his sister, until finally he was able to get Belarus to give up the phone to Ukraine.

"What is going on?" Ivan asked frantically. There was a pause, and then he looked over at Alfred with a worried look. "She said that this involves both of us, and to put her on speaker phone."

"Oh shit." Alfred said. "Well hurry up then!"

Ivan put the phone in the middle of the table, and turned on the speaker.

"Hello?" She asked nervously. "Are both of you listening?"

"Yeah, we're here." Alfred said. "What's going on?"

"Well, we just received a message earlier this morning from France-"

"What did he do this time?" Alfred asked with a sigh.

"Ah, well…you see…"

"Big sister, if this is important please tell us. What was Belarus talking about?" Ivan asked worriedly.

"Why didn't you tell us you were dating America?" Ukraine asked.

Alfred nearly fell out of his chair in shock, and Ivan eyes widened in horror. "WHOA! Hold up!" Alfred said, standing up quickly, staring down at the phone in a panic. "What are you talking about!? Ivan and I aren't-"

"IVAN?" Belarus screamed. "HOW DARE YOU ADDRESS MY BROTHER IN SUCH A WAY!"

"Natalia, please!" Ukraine said worriedly. "Let me at least explain what's going on!" With a sigh she continued. "France sent us pictures of you two on a date at a restaurant this morning. While I think you two look rather cute together, I am rather disappointed in you Ivan. You should have told us you two were together."

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN FRANCE TOOK PHOTOS OF US AT THE RESTAURANT?!" America shouted, all of the color draining from his face.

"I'LL KILL YOU, YOU STUPID FAT AMERICAN!" Belarus shouted, anger dripping from every word, making Alfred gulp in fear. "HOW DARE YOU STEAL HIM FROM ME! YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM!"

"I am going to hang up now." Ivan said, looking down at the phone in fear. "Please send us those photos, and do not let Belarus go to the meeting! If she kills Alfred, we are going to be in trouble with the American government! And do not let her track us down!"

"I'll try, but I cannot promise you anything." Ukraine sighed as Belarus started shrieking again.

"I'LL KILL Y-" but Ivan quickly hung up the phone, cutting her off. They stood there in silence for a moment, and then Alfred's phone dinged. Alfred slowly looked down at it, as it dinged again, then again, and then it started to vibrate like crazy, hundreds of messages from other nations flooding his phone. Alfred backed away from it in alarm as people started to call him.

"This is bad!" Alfred said, starting to panic, looking over at Ivan, who was staring at his phone in horror.

"You do not know how bad it is." Ivan said mournfully, turning his phone towards Alfred. Alfred nearly fainted when he saw the photos. The first one was of him and Ivan eating their desserts together, with him looking like some kind of stupid blushing bride and Ivan smirking at him. The second photo was of him dabbing Ivan's face with the ice cream, and the third photo showed Ivan pushing him into an elevator and him holding the bottles of wine.

"Oh no." Alfred said, shaking his head frantically. "No fucking way! He stopped following us after we got off the bus! How did he know?! It was a last minute plan!"

"Someone else must have been following us." Ivan said. Just then his phone started ringing again, and he quickly turned it off.

"I knew this was going to bite us in the ass!" Alfred said angrily, grabbing his phone and throwing it a nearby cupboard, and then angrily pacing the kitchen. "Granted, I thought it was because the mafia was going to kill us, but this is even worse! I'm going to kill France!"

"Death is too good for him. I suggest we slowly kill him by shoving that stupid camera of his down his throat and making him choke on it." Ivan suggested darkly, his hands clutching the table so hard that it started to crack a little.

"First of all, stop breaking my stuff." Alfred snapped. Ivan huffed in irritation, but he let go of the table. "Second, that isn't nearly a good enough punishment and you know it. I want to make him beg for mercy. And thirdly, this isn't the time to be plotting revenge! The whole world thinks we're dating, and we're caught with our pants down! What the hell are we going to do about this?!" Alfred asked hysterically, pulling at his hair.

"Well, first we should probably not leave the apartment until the meeting tomorrow." Ivan said, pushing his breakfast away from him. "The nation's that arrived early are probably trying to hunt us down, so it would be in our best interest to avoid them until we have come up with a plan."

"Okay, good idea." Alfred said. "And our plan is?"

"We tell them we are not dating."

"Oh yeah, like they're going to believe us after those photo's came out!" Alfred said with a humorless laugh. "And next I'll tell them I can fly like Superman if I put on a cape!"

"I am serious." Ivan huffed. "We will simply tell them the truth."

"Yeah, like telling them you convinced the fucking RUSSIAN MAFIA to get us a spot in a super expensive restaurant just so we could have a friendly meal, and then pick up a Christmas present for the Italian brothers is going to sound more reasonable!" Alfred snorted.

"It is more likely than us dating!" Ivan argued.

"Everyone thinks we're dating, and you think that's really going to work?! Ivan, if there had been rumors spreading about Italy and Germany dating, and someone got a photo of the two going out to dinner and Germany blushing like a school girl on her first date, do you think anyone in their right mind would believe Germany if he said they weren't dating?!" Alfred asked, leaning against one of the kitchen counters and crossing his arms, glaring at Ivan.

"But everyone knows that they have a weird thing going on between them!" Ivan protested. "We have never had something like that between us!"

"I know that, but that's how we look right now!" Alfred said in exasperation. "We have to convince people, who just got the holy grail of misleading photos by the way, to believe us!"

"We can just fight like usual at the meeting tomorrow." Ivan suggested, but Alfred shook his head angrily.

"No, I don't want to fight."

"You don't?" Ivan asked in surprise, staring at Alfred.

"Well, yeah." Alfred said with a huff. "I don't fight with you because I like to, and when we aren't trying to kill each other, you can be kind of fun to hang out with. Plus, even if we did try that, I'm sure the others would see right through us. I'm not exactly the best actor you know. If I'm not actually mad at you, it'll be half hearted."

"You like spending time with me?" Ivan asked, not comprehending what Alfred was saying.

"Did I stutter?" Alfred asked with a sigh.

"But I thought you disliked having me around?" Ivan asked in confusion.

"Well, for a long time, yeah." Alfred admitted, "But not really. You can be a scary son of a bitch at times, and you can be a real pain in my ass, but I don't hate you. Well, I don't hate Ivan." Alfred clarified.

"Ivan? What do you mean?" Ivan asked.

"What I mean is that I don't like Russia very much, but I like hanging out with Ivan."

"But I am Russia!" Ivan said, looking hopelessly confused.

"Yeah, and I'm America." Alfred said with a shrug. "But when we're not talking politics, or trying to one up each other, or we're not doing nation stuff, I'm just Alfred."

Ivan sat there for a second, just staring at Alfred. "I still do not understand."

"Well, when you're petting Milashka, or talking about cool space stuff with me, or poking me in my sides because you think it's funny, that's Ivan." Alfred explained. "When you're threatening to knock my teeth out because I'm bragging about how I got to the moon first, or you're acting like a psycho because our governments aren't getting along, or you're just being creepy, that's Russia."

"You're saying I act differently sometimes?" Ivan asked, looking at Alfred with a look of realization.

"Well, yeah. Haven't you noticed that we've chilled out a bit this last week?" Alfred asked. "You've only done that creepy aura thing of yours at me when we were fighting on the bus about nation stuff. But when we're just hanging out we kind of get along okay. Like this morning for example."

"I had never thought about that." Ivan admitted, looking down at the table with a frown.

"Yeah, but getting back to the problem." Alfred said, steering the conversation back on track. "What are we supposed to do?"

"Why are you asking me?" Ivan asked, getting a bit irritated. "You could try to think of something."

"But I've never been in this kind of situation before." Alfred admitted, rubbing the back of his head in embarrassment. "I've never been accused of dating someone. I don't know how to react to this, other than wanting to disappear from the whole thing and letting things blow over."

"Running away?" Ivan asked in disbelief. "That does not seem like something you would do."

"It's called a tactical retreat and it's a sound strategy!" Alfred huffed.

"And where would you go, may I ask?" Ivan asked with a snort. "Everyone already knows where most of your houses are and I doubt anyone would let you stay at their place."

"Alaska." Alfred said, with a shrug. "That's where I usually go to hide out if Mattie won't let me hide at his place."

"Why Alaska of all places?" Ivan asked, shaking his head in disbelief.

"First, because it's almost always super cold and dark there, and two, because it's right next to your place." Alfred explained. "It's perfect! Everyone knows I hate the cold and I don't get along with you! No one would think for a second that I would willingly go there!"

"First," Ivan said with a tired sigh, "that is a stupid plan. If I were to try and find you, that would be the first place I would look because I know you would do something like that. Second, while that plan might usually work on everyone else, everyone thinks we are dating, so they would naturally think we would try to live close together. Thus, they would check there first!"

Alfred opened his mouth to argue, but then he paused. After a minute of him struggling to find a counter argument, he started to pout. "Damn it, I hate it when you're right. I guess its back to hiding out in Maine." He sighed.

"Why-"

"Do you ever think of Maine when you're planning to look for me?" Alfred asked with a raised eyebrow. "No, no one does. Everyone thinks to look for me in Texas, or California, or New York. But no one ever thinks of Nebraska, or Wyoming, or several other of my states. Hell, sometimes I'll go out to the mid west in hide in a cornfield for awhile. That usually works."

"How often do you use the corn field one?" Ivan asked in mild amusement.

"Only when I really need to. Cornfields aren't the most comfortable places to hide in."

"Right." Ivan said with an amused shake of his head. "Well, to get back on topic, I cannot say I have been accused of being in many relationships myself. Most people are too scared to even consider it. I am afraid that I am not much use."

"Great, you're no help." Alfred said in exasperation, throwing his hands up in defeat. "What are we supposed to do now? Walk right into the world meeting like nothing weird is going on?"

"That wouldn't be a bad idea." Ivan said. "If we keep things as normal as possible, the others may not panic so much. They may be more willing to listen to us."

"Okay, so just to make things clear, we are going to stroll right into the meeting tomorrow like nothing happened, and when the other nations ask us about the pictures, we explain what really happened and hope they believe us?"

"Yes."

"We're so screwed." Alfred said, hanging his head in defeat. "That's the dumbest plan I ever heard, and I suggested a superhero solve global warming."

"If you have a better idea, I would love to hear it." Ivan said, glaring at Alfred. "I do not see you suggesting anything."

"Well, how about we just don't go?" Alfred suggested hopefully.

"They will think we eloped." Ivan said with a shake of his head. "Plus, it is rude for the hosting nation not to turn up."

"Damn it. Well, that's all I had." Alfred said, turning towards door of the kitchen and attempting to head to his room. "Looks like I'm heading to Maine."

"I do not think so." Ivan said angrily, getting out of his chair and grabbing the back of Alfred's sweater. "If I have to face them, so do you!"

"Hell no!" Alfred snapped, turning his head so he could glare up at Ivan. "You think for a second I'm going to put up with the rest of the world's bullshit?! No way! I'm not going to play to their rules to be nice. I mean," He asked with a humorless laugh, gesturing to himself, "When have I ever cared about manners? What's it to me if the rest of the world thinks I'm a jackass? Hell, half of them think that anyways! And what about your sister?! She wants to drive a knife through my face!"

"I already asked Ukraine to-"

"Do you really think that's going to stop her?" Alfred asked, pushing Ivan off of him and continuing his way to his room. "You're sister is one of the people I have on my do not piss off list, and guess what?! Now I'm her number one target! No way, if I go to that meeting I'm going to be massacred!"

"What about me!?" Ivan asked angrily, following Alfred out of the kitchen with a scowl on his face. "I have to face them too!"

"Please, don't make me laugh. They won't go after you; they're too scared of you. No, they'll go after me as usual." Alfred snorted, waving his hands in irritation. As they reached his room, Ivan blocked the doorway and glared down at the smaller nation.

"You are acting rather selfishly." Ivan commented.

Alfred scowled up at Ivan. "Oh, that's rich coming from you! You're always acting selfishly, but no one calls you out for it because they're afraid of you! But when I want to do anything, be that try and help people or try to keep out of things, I'm either labeled a nosy bastard or a heartless coward! You think its easy being a world superpower!?" Alfred yelled, jabbing Ivan in the chest with his finger. "You try having the rest of the world blame you for everything and see how you like it! You see how easy it is being judged for every little thing you say or do!"

"I already know how that is." Ivan said with a scowl. "I am not a small player. I have to deal with others worse than you do! I know they will not approve of this rumor, not because of you, but because they are worried about what I'm going to do to you! Do not think that I will get off easily!"

"Do to me?" Alfred asked, blinking in surprise. "What are you talking about?"

Ivan sighed, shaking his head slightly in disbelief. "You really do not know?"

"Know what? I mean, it's not like you could do anything to me that I don't want." Alfred snorted. "I'd kick your ass to Texas and back before that would happen."

"I know that." Ivan snapped. "But everyone will assume that I did something to you, and take your side anyways." Ivan said bitterly. "Even when I have done nothing wrong I am labeled as a bad guy. And maybe you are right, and they will not listen to us, but running away is just going to make it worse! How do you think the rest of the world is going to react if I show up and you do not? They will think I locked you up somewhere or hurt you!"

"But you'd never beat me up for something like this." Alfred said with a guilty frown, starting to feel bad for the taller nation. "I mean, you already said yourself that France was to blame!"

"Then tell them that tomorrow!" Ivan said, slumping his shoulders slightly and giving Alfred a tired look. "Do not make them think I have done something I have not."

Alfred sighed, and taking a deep breath he turned around and walked back to the kitchen. "Fine." He said just as tiredly. "Fine. We'll go with your plan. It still sucks, but I guess it's better than my idea. But if your sister murders me, I can't guarantee that world war three won't break out."

"What about England?" Ivan asked, following Alfred out into the living room, where Alfred flopped onto the couch, looking miserable.

"What about him?" Alfred asked with a huff, burying his face into one of the pillows.

"I am sure he will not sit back and let me "date" you." Ivan said, leaning against the wall.

"Chill out." Alfred said, dismissing Ivan with an eye roll. "England's too sick to come to the meeting tomorrow, and even if he wasn't, he probably wouldn't even care. He'd be too busy yelling at France for being an idiot, not running his sword through you.

"I suppose." Ivan said doubtfully.

"I mean, we're all ready in deep shit, what else could go wrong?" Alfred asked.

_The Next Day, World Meeting Room_

"ORDER! ORDER!" Germany yelled, banging his fists on the podium in the middle of the room. "EVERYBODY SHUT UP!"

The room fell silent, and all eyes in the room turned towards the center of the room where Germany was standing. Germany took a deep breath, and after steadying his nerves he cleared his throat.

"Thank you." He said. "As you already know, we have started this meeting early to address the rumors that sparked up yesterday morning."

"Rumors? They aren't rumors!" Cuba said angrily, glaring down at Germany from his seat. "For god's sake, did you even see those pictures?! They looked like they were about to start making out!"

"Please keep all comments to yourself until I open the floor!" Germany said sternly. Cuba gave Germany a dissatisfied glare, but he back down.

"As I was saying," Germany said, scanning the room, daring anyone to interrupt him again. No one did. "Yesterday morning France sent out a number of pictures showing America and Russia on a supposed date." He pulled out a small remote and turned on the smart board behind him, which showed all of the pictures that France had sent out the night before. "Now, we do not know this for a fact, but there is enough evidence to be concerned. If anyone has any information about what's going on, please speak up now so we can sort this out."

The room was dead silent. Germany frowned and looked towards France's seat, and was annoyed to see it was empty.

"Where is France? He's the one who started this mess!" Germany asked angrily. The room filled with whispers, and then a small voice called out, "I know where he went!"

All eyes in the room landed on the right side of the room on America, who seemed to shrink at all of the attention on that was suddenly on him.

"YOU!" Cuba shouted, standing up and pointing at America with a scowl.

"I'm not America!" Canada squeaked, holding his hands up in fear. "I'm his brother Canada!"

"Oh, sorry." Cuba said sheepishly, sitting back down. There was a bit of muffled laughter.

"Canada." Germany said, turning to address the nation. "Where is France?"

"He went to stop England from hunting America down." Canada explained.

"Oh shit, I forgot about that." Prussia muttered from behind him. "He's probably hella pissed right now." The other nations muttered in agreement.

"Okay." Germany said, with a frown. "Canada, you're close to your brother. You wouldn't happen to know what's going on right now, would you?"

"Unfortuantly, no." Canada sighed, looking a bit annoyed. "Me and my brother had a small fight the other day, so I only found what was going on after England told me yesterday. And the last time I talked to my brother, he and Russia were trying to sort out some problems between them."

"Problems?" Spain asked curiously.

"It's not my place to tell you what about their personal problems." Canada stated. "If you want to ask them about it when they get here, feel free."

A few nations grumbled about how unfair that was, but after Germany banged on the podium again, they went quiet. "Is there anything at all you can tell us that might help us?" Germany asked, and Canada sighed, glancing towards the middle of the room, where Japan had been sitting quietly.

"Japan was with France when the pictures were taken, maybe he can help." Canada said, and Japan paled slightly as the world turned its attention to him.

"What?" Germany asked in bewilderment. "Japan, I thought you went straight to your hotel after we visited the museum."

"I…" Japan said unsurely, glancing around the room.

"Don't deny it." China huffed, glaring at Japan from a few seats down from him. "You told me that you and France were there!"

"And France mentioned that you were following them before that." Canada said.

"Japan, would you care to explain?" Germany said with a confused frown.

"It is true that I followed them on France's request." Japan admitted, looking uncomfortable. The room was filled with hushed whispers.

"Why on earth would you do something like that?" Austria asked.

"My reasons are none of your concern." Japan said stiffly.

"BULLSHIT!" China yelled angrily, standing up and pointing an accusing finger at Japan. "We have a right to know what's going on, and you're withholding information. Spill the beans!"

"China, that's enough!" Germany snapped. China threw him a dirty look, but he sat back down, grumbling under his breath. "Japan, you don't have to tell us the reason you agreed to follow them, but could you at least tell us what happened?"

Japan sighed, looking down at his lap. "I met France at the Museum of Natural History. After I was done touring the museum with Germany-"

"What was France doing at the Museum?" Prussia asked curiously.

"He was following America and Russia, who were touring the Museum together." Germany explained.

"They were on a date before they went to dinner?" Finland asked in shock.

"I think we should let Japan finish before we jump to any conclusions." Germany said. He motioned for Japan to continue.

"Ah, as I was saying," Japan continued awkwardly, "I met France outside the building, and I agreed to follow America and Russia because he had a feeling they had caught on to him. When America and Russia left, I followed them until they reached a small store. I followed them inside, careful not to reveal myself to them. They were arguing about something, I could not make out what, but America seemed a bit agitated about something. Then they continued shopping for a few minutes, and then America got very upset about something and shouted 'No!' loud enough to draw people's attention."

"You have no idea what they were arguing about?" Germany pressed.

"I am afraid not." Japan said apologetically. "After America and Russia went into another isle that was empty, I was able to get a bit closer. I overheard Russia suggest dinner, and after a few minutes of arguing about wine, America finally agreed. They walked towards the front of the store after this, so I slipped out a back exit and continued to follow them. They went to a suit store afterwards, where they had another argument, and America kicked him out until he was finished."

"They sure do fight a lot." Poland commented.

"That's pretty normal for them." Denmark pointed out.

"And what about the dinner pictures?" China asked. "You were there with France! Explain!"

"Well, it was pretty normal for most of the dinner." Japan explained. "It was not until the last few minutes of the dinner that they showed any affection for each other. They were chatting and arguing as usual up until dessert came out."

"Ah." Hungary said, nodding her head. "That would make sense. Dessert is the most romantic part after all."

"That's true." Belgium agreed with a giggle.

Germany sighed, and picking up the remote again he blew up the first dinner picture, the one with America blushing. "Japan, please be honest with us." The room went quiet again. "Is this picture accurate? Did this really happen?"

The room held its breath as Japan hesitated. It was so still they could have heard a pin drop. Then finally Japan bowed his head, and said, "Yes."

The room broke out into pandemonium instantly. People stood to their feet yelling and arguing. Germany heard China saying that the end times were coming, the Italian brothers shouting in Italian, and a few counties complaining about their betting pool. He tried to get the room back into order, but he eventually gave up. It took a better part of ten minutes before it calmed down enough for him to even attempt to calm the crowd down.

"But why Russia?" Lithuania asked after things settled back down.

"Yeah, it's not like the idiot has ever shown any interest in like, any one ever!" Poland said with a frown.

"Maybe he's attracted to power?" Someone suggested.

"Nah, if he was he would have gone after someone sooner." Prussia said with a shake of his head. "Or he would have just stayed with England. Hell, if anything he hates it when anyone challenges his position. I'm looking at you China." Prussia said, jabbing at finger at China, who flipped him off in response.

"Maybe he likes tall guys?" Hungary suggested.

"He would have gone after Sweden before Russia!" Someone shouted.

"I don't think so." Sweden muttered uncomfortably as Denmark burst out into laughter.

"Maybe he likes bad boys?" Australia pondered.

"But he's always saying he's the Hero! You'd think he'd be turned off by someone like Russia." Turkey said.

"Maybe Russia chased him?" Italy suggested. The room went silent.

"That's a scary thought." Finland muttered, and the rest of the room nodded in agreement.

"That would never happen." Prussia snorted. "First of all, America wouldn't know if someone was flirting with him even if they slapped him over the face with roses and a box of chocolates. Second, if Russia attempted to flirt with America, do you really think that would go well? Russia would probably threaten America thinking that was romantic, and America would laugh then punch him in the face."

"He'd probably demand they become one." Romano said with a shudder.

"Or threaten him into a relationship." Greece said with a frown.

"That seems very unlikely." Canada said with a huff. "Please, if my brother doesn't want to do something, he'll make it very clear. Trying to make him do something he doesn't like is like trying to give a cat a bath. And if Russia did try something like that…" Canada said darkly, a dangerous expression on his face, "… Let's just say I'd deal with it."

"Right." Switzerland said doubtfully.

"Look, why don't we just ask America and Russia about this?" Canada asked.

"Uh…Because they wouldn't tell us the truth if they were." Prussia said.

"But why?" Canada asked in exasperation. "Look, this isn't that big of a deal-"

"NOT A BIG DEAL?!" China yelled angrily, making Canada flinch. "YOU DO REALIZE THAT TWO OF THE MOST POWERFUL NATIONS IN THE
WORLD ARE DATING, RIGHT?! THIS IS A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN! COULD YOU EVEN IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY HAD A MAJOR FIGHT?! THE NUKES WOULD BE COMING OUT QUICKER THAN YOU COULD SAY RICE CRACKER!"

"I highly doubt that. Personal relationships have nothing to do with politics." Germany said, trying to calm the building tension in the room. "At worst, they would just drag us into their relationship problems."

"You mean how you drag Japan into your relationship problems with Italy?" Prussia asked with a smirk.

Germany just sighed. "I will deal with you later." He threatened.

Suddenly, there were three deep knocks on the door. The room froze, and all eyes looked over at the large oak door.

"Come in." Germany said, as the room braced itself.

_AlfredandRussia'sPOV_

"This is a bad idea." Alfred muttered nervously, staring at the oak doors in front of him. He and Russia were standing outside the meeting room doors, and they could hear muffled arguing on the other side of the doors.

Alfred looked bad. He had dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping the night before, and his usually neat suit was a wrinkled from forgetting to iron it. He was holding a cup of coffee like it was a life line, and he was nervously rocking on the balls of his feet. While Ivan looked at ease, his eyes gave away his nervousness, as they kept scanning the room every few seconds as if looking for someone. Alfred assumed that he was looking for Belarus, and he couldn't blame him. Although Ukraine had assured them that she and her sister weren't coming, Alfred still felt like he had a bull's eye on his face.

Ivan sighed, and looked down at Alfred with a tired expression. "I suppose we should get this over with?" he asked, gesturing to the door in front of them.

"It's not too late to go to Maine." Alfred pointed out, but Ivan just rolled his eyes. Lifting his hand, he knocked on the door three times, and the room inside went silent.

"Oh, well that's a good sign." Alfred muttered sarcastically as a voice told them to enter.

Ivan opened the door, and they walked in. They were in a large auditorium, which was shaped in a semicircle, which pointed to the front of the room where Germany was standing at a podium. The rest of the world watched as they entered the room, and Alfred wished he had his brother's power to disappear as all the eyes in the room focused on them. No one said anything as Ivan closed the door, and in the deafening silence the click of the door sounded like thunder.

Ivan slowly scanned the room. He paused on France's empty chair, and his eyes narrowed a fraction. He didn't know where he had gone, but if he was hiding then he would take great pleasure in hunting him down later. He glanced at where his sisters usually sat, and felt a wave of relief as he saw they weren't present. He would have to buy Ukraine a present to thank her later. Alfred also looked around the room, and saw his brother sitting in his usual spot next to his seat. He also saw that England's seat was empty, and was relieved that he hadn't come. The last thing England needed was to be out of bed.

"Gentlemen." Germany said.

"Germany." Alfred replied with fake cheer. "Um…are we late?" Alfred asked with a nervous chuckle, gesturing to the rest of the nations. "I could have sworn that the meeting was at ten."

"No, you are on time." Germany stated. "We started early."

"Oh…" Alfred said, his smile slipping off his face a little. "I didn't get an email."

"No, you wouldn't have." Germany said with a tired sigh. "We had an emergency meeting. I think you two know what about."

Alfred didn't say anything, but his face paled a bit, and Ivan let out a tired sigh.

"Yes, we do." Ivan said. The rest of the room started to mutter to each other.

"In that case," Germany said, gesturing to a pair of chairs next to him. "I think we need an explanation. We have more pressing issues to cover today, so let's get this over with as quickly as possible."

"What is this, an investigation?" America asked angrily.

"Of course not." Germany said with a sigh. "We just need to sort out a few things if we're going to make any kind of progress today. Please."

Alfred huffed, and made to walk back out the door, but Ivan sighed and grabbing the back of Alfred's jacket, he dragged him back towards the chairs, Alfred sulking the whole way there. After they were seated, Alfred started tugging on his sleeves nervously and Ivan watched Germany with feigned interest.

"I just have one question for you two." Germany said.

"And that would be?" Ivan asked in a bored tone.

"Are you two dating each other?" Germany asked, being as blunt as possible.

"No." Alfred said.

"No." Ivan said.

"Okay, that settles that." Germany said, turning back to the rest of the room.

"NO IT DOESN'T!" China yelled, and the other nations started yelling in protest.

"They could be lying!" Romano yelled.

"Dude, why the hell would I lie about this?" Alfred asked angrily. "You got your answer, now fuck off."

"Why are you being so defensive?" Romano taunted back.

"How would you feel if I said you and Germany were dating?" Alfred shot back.

"Urh! How dare you suggest such a thing?!" Romano yelled angrily. "You stupid hamburger bastard!"

"Then explain those pictures!" Spain said, pointing to the smart board.

Alfred turned around to look at the smart board, and then let out a groan as he hid his face in his hands. "Did you really have to make them bigger?" he asked.

"Well, yeah." Prussia said with a smirk. "You just look so cute with a blush on your face."

"Go fuck yourself." Alfred said as his face went red, and Prussia started laughing.

"We simply went out to dinner." Ivan said with a shrug. "What's wrong with Alfred being a good host?"

"He took you to one of the fanciest restaurants in New York City just to be nice?" Switzerland asked doubtfully.

"Yep." Alfred said.

"Bullshit." China said. "You were clearly flirting."

"Nope, I was proving to him that ice cream is better than Italian ice." Alfred explained, pointing to the picture where he was dabbing Ivan's face.

"By putting it on his face." China asked, not looking convinced.

"It was revenge."

"That's some lame ass revenge." Prussia said.

"Well, he also ordered at well done steak." Alfred added, and there were gasps of disgust from some of the more food savvy nations.

"You monster!" Romano shouted at Ivan, and then he cowered when said nation glared at him.

"I fail to see how that is relevant to this conversation." Germany said.

"Well, Japan told us-" China started to say, but a look of confusion grew on Alfred's face.

"What does Japan have to do with anything?" Alfred asked. The room went quiet, and Japan refused to make eye contact with Alfred as he turned to look at him. "It was France who sent those stupid pictures out, not Japan."

"Al…" Canada said nervously, and Alfred's attention snapped onto his brother. "France wasn't the only one following you after you left the museum."

"I see." Ivan growled, glaring over at Japan, who glared right back at Russia.

"I knew it!" Alfred said. "But who…" Alfred started to ask, but then his eyes widened in realization. "No way, you mean…" America said, spinning around to look at Japan, who was avoiding eye contact. "Dude, you were the second stalker?"

Japan didn't reply, choosing to remain silent. But that was enough of an answer for America, whose face fell. "Really? But why would you help France spy on me?" He asked in disbelief. Japan bowed his head in shame, but didn't say anything. "Kiku?" Alfred asked, hurt by his friends refusal to answer him.

"I see you are not as good a friend as you claim to be." Ivan sneered, and Japan shot Russia an angry look.

"I admit my actions were wrong, but at least I am not pretending to be nice to him, unlike you." Japan shot back. There were a few shocked gasps from the other nations and Ivan's expression grew murderous. As the tension in the room skyrocketed, Germany stepped in-between the fighting nations.

"Leave any arguments you have for outside this room." Germany said quickly. Alfred didn't say anything, looking blankly at the floor, but it was clear to everyone that he was reeling from the news. Ivan couldn't help but feel sorry for him.

"Wait, hold up!" Poland shouted, standing up suddenly, looking triumphant.

"Now is not the time." Lithuania hissed, trying to get his friend to shut up as everyone turned to look at him. "Do you want to get killed?!"

"You called America by his real name earlier!" Poland said, pointing an accusing finger at Ivan, who blinked in surprise.

"Da, I did." Ivan said, not understanding what Poland was trying to say. "What of it?"

Poland smirked. "Why, I didn't know you two were close enough to do that."

The room erupted in to conversation, and Ivan felt a headache coming on.

"It is not that big of a deal." Ivan tried to say, but no one was buying it.

"When did that start?!" Finland asked in horror, looking over at America with a worried expression.

Alfred snapped out of his daze, and rolled his eyes. "Look, it's not that big of a deal. If Ivan and I-"

"IVAN?!" Lithuania asked, his mouth falling open.

"Oh no, here we go." Alfred sighed, rubbing his face as the room erupted into chaos.

"When did you two get onto first name basis!?" Spain asked in horror.

"I thought you said you wouldn't call a communist by his name as long as you lived!?" Prussia asked, looking at Alfred in terror.

"I'm not a-" Ivan started to grumble, but to his surprise Alfred said angrily, "He's not a communist. Give it a break; he stopped being one decades ago."

The room gasped again, but this time people stared at Alfred, whose face fell. "Oh dear." He muttered, realizing what he just said. Japan's face fell as the room around him fell into chaos.

"America." Germany said slowly, backing away slightly from him, alarm clearly written all over his face. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Well, other than the fact that I didn't get enough sleep and coffee this morning, and I'm being interrogated like a criminal, yeah, I'm good." Alfred said sarcastically. "Look, it's a long story, but it had to do with a taxi cab and me maybe realizing I've kind of been a jackass for the last few decades-"

Italy screamed in terror. "He just admitted to being a jackass! He's admitting fault! We're all dead!"

"Come on dude." Alfred said, looking a bit offended. "I'm not that bad."

The rest of the room started panicking. "America's gone off the deep end! He's been brainwashed! He's actually saying he's not perfect! He's not calling Russia a commie! Why is he being nice to Russia?! What's going on?" A flurry of voices asked in alarm.

"This is starting to hurt my feelings." Alfred said with a pout.

"Welcome to my world." Ivan muttered under his breath.

"Alfred." Prussia said, standing up and slowly making his way towards America like he was a scared animal. "Don't panic, but I think you've gone insane."

"No, I'm pretty sure I haven't." Alfred said, annoyed at everyone's reactions.

"Prove it, call him a commie." Prussia said, pointing at Russia, who scowled at him.

"What the hell?! No way!" Alfred said angrily. "Look, I'm just trying to be nicer-"

"What did you do to him!?" China asked in horror, backing away from America like he was a plague. "Just a week ago he was spitting venom at the mention of your name, and now he's defending you?!"

"Oh my god, you've brainwashed him!" Poland yelled.

"Oh come on." Alfred snorted. "As if."

Ivan sighed, and gave Alfred the 'see, I told you' look, gesturing at the room.

"Dude, I'm sorry I doubted you." Alfred huffed.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD, HE APOLOGIZED TO HIM!" Cuba shrieked.

"America, don't worry, we'll get you the best help we can!" Prussia said, looking around the room in a panic. "Somebody call 911! Get an ambulance! Get the Police! Call the president! Assemble congress!"

"I'm not mental!" America shouted angrily.

"Of course you're not." Denmark said with an unconvincing smile.

"Okay, you know what? I'm leaving!" Alfred shouted, standing up and grabbing Ivan's arm. He started dragging Ivan with him out of the room, muttering about how he didn't have to put up with this shit. The rest of the room started to go into chaos again, a few nations getting up to stop them, but when Alfred was only a hundred feet away from the door, it was kicked open, startling him and making him back into Ivan, who had to catch him before he fell onto the floor. Looking up, Alfred's face went pale as he saw England angrily standing in the doorway, his face flushed in anger. France was standing behind the former Empire with a defeated look.

"England?!" Alfred asked, his mouth opening in disbelief. "What are YOU doing here?! Why aren't you in bed?! Aren't you supposed to be sick?"

"YOU!" England roared, pointing at a very confused Russia.

"Me?" Ivan asked, pointing to himself with a confused frown.

"What the hell did you do to America?!" He shouted, angrily making his way to where Russia was, with France trying desperately to hold the shorter nation back.

"England, please!" France begged. "It isn't worth it!"

England turned around and decked France in the face, causing the man to stagger back, holding his now bleeding nose. "Shut up!" England growled. "This is your fault!"

"Whoa, let's just calm down!" Alfred yelled, only for England to spin around and glare at his former colony.

"Shut up, America. You don't realize what's going on!" England said, continuing to walk towards the two nations.

"You know, you're right!" America said, getting back onto his feet. "What the fuck is going on here?!"

England's only response was to pull out a sword from his belt, making Alfred back away in alarm and the other nations in the room to start yelling again.

"Let him go, you bastard!" England growled at Russia. Ivan just raised a confused eyebrow while Alfred started to freak out.

"Whoa, England, bro, dude, your fever is making you hallucinate man! Just chill out!" Alfred said, but to his surprise England just pushed him behind his back and put his sword to Russia's throat, which Ivan just looked amused at.

"THIS IS AWESOME!" Prussia cackled. "This is better than anything in a soap opera!"

"You idiot!" Germany yelled. "We have to stop them!"

"I'm not getting between them!" Turkey said, putting his hands up in surrender. "I don't have a death wish."

"May I help you?" Russia asked England.

"Just what do you think you're trying to accomplish by trying to seduce America?" England growled.

"Dude! No one is seducing me!" Alfred squawked. "Why won't people listen to me!" He tried to drag England away from Ivan, but then England noticed America's haggard appearance.

"You don't look so good." He commented.

"Aw geez, ya THINK?!" Alfred shouted angrily. "I bet you'd look just swell if you missed a night of sleep and then you'd been interrogated for the last half an hour!

"Don't believe a thing he says!" China yelled, pointing to America. "He's been brainwashed!"

"WILL YOU SHUT UP!?" Alfred snapped, glaring up at China.

"He's been refusing to call Russia a commie and has been calling him Ivan!" Prussia shouted.

"WHEN DID YOU START CALLING HIM IVAN!" England yelled, looking over at America in horror.

"It's not a big deal!" Alfred tried to explain, but then England only snarled and turned his attention back onto Russia.

"I think you are misreading the situation." Ivan said calmly.

"Shut up! I don't know what you're up too, but I'm not letting you take advantage of America!"

"What am I, damsel in distress?!"

"You're taking advantage of the fact that he's completely clueless about romance, and then you're going to use him and break his heart just too get one up on him!"

"I assure you, I am not." Russia sighed.

"I don't know how you've made him start to like you, but I'm putting a stop to it." England spat.

Russia snorted. "I'd like to see you make me do anything."

"Dude, stop antagonizing the guy with the sword!" Alfred shouted.

"He also apologized to Russia!" Cuba shouted.

"DUDE, NOT HELPING!" Alfred shouted angrily.

"America." England said, suddenly getting worried. "If he's threatening you, you just have to say so. We can help you!"

Alfred felt something inside him snap. "WHY WON'T ANY ONE LISTEN TO ME?!" He yelled hysterically, pulling at his hair. "NO ONE IS THREATENING ME! NO ONE IS BRAINWASHING ME! NO ONE IS TAKING ADVANTAGE OF ME! I'M NOT MENTAL, AND I'M NOT CRAZY! I'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO BE NICER TO RUSSIA, IVAN, HOWEVER YOU WANT ME TO CALL HIM! IS THAT SUCH A BAD THING?"

"Yes, because it's not like you!" England said worriedly.

"Oh my fucking god." Alfred said, turning around. "I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore. I'm losing brain cells. All of this because of some stupid rumors and some freaking wine, not to mention the mafia and Christmas trees and one in all shampoo and stupid stalkers and my freaking boss is an idiot and I just want to go home and pet Hero-"

"I think he's finally lost it." Prussia whispered worriedly as Alfred walked out of the room, still ranting about random things. Ivan sighed, and grabbing England's sword he bent the tip down ninety degrees, making England back up in shock, and he followed Alfred out of the room.

"AND SINCE YOU'RE HERE ENGLAND, YOU CAN DO YOUR OWN SPEECH!" America yelled from the hallway.

The room was quiet for a minute, with England awkwardly holding a bent sword, France still trying to stop his bleeding nose, Japan looking lost, and Germany standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. Finally, Germany cleared his throat. "Well, that cleared nothing up." He said. "I guess we'll just carry on now."

"You're kidding." Austria said in disbelief. "You want to keep going after that shit show?"

"Like it or not, we have a job to do! And just because the host nation isn't here doesn't mean we can't still continue the meeting. If we must, we can have a half an hour break to calm down, but after that we're getting to work!"

The rest of the room grumbled in protest, but they followed his instructions.

_LineBreak_

Ivan sighed as he followed a fuming Alfred down the hallway. America was still muttering about how no one listened to him, and Ivan was trying to talk him down.

"Alfred."

"Shut up."

"Alfred."

"I said shut up!"

"You need to calm down."

"No! I won't!" Alfred snapped.

"It is not that big of a deal." Ivan tried to say, but Alfred just let out a hysterical laugh.

"Not a big deal! Are you fucking kidding me? They just called me a brainwashed victim and said all sorts of horrible things to you! And now everyone is fucking convinced we're going out, and England just threatened you, and Japan-" Alfred suddenly stopped walking, and Ivan almost ran into him.

"and Kiku…" Alfred said, his voice cracking as he said Japan's name, his shoulders starting to shake.

"Alfred?" Ivan asked worriedly. He hesitated, then he put his hand on Alfred's shoulder and turned him around so he could see his face. His heart dropped as he saw Alfred's face screwed up and tears rolling down his face.

"Why did he help do this?" Alfred sobbed, trying desperately to wipe the tears from his face. "Why? What did I do to him? I mean," he hiccupped, "I can understand France doing something like this, but HIM? He's my best friend!"

"I don't know." Ivan said quietly. Alfred shook his head angrily.

"It doesn't make sense! He wouldn't cause anyone trouble on purpose! I must have done something. But what did I do?!" Alfred asked frantically.

"Alfred," Ivan sighed, "you didn't do anything wrong."

Alfred looked up at Ivan in a panic. "No, you don't get it! I must have done something! It's always my fault people are mad at me! I'm the one who always messes up, or says something stupid, or causes problems."

"That's not true." Ivan said angrily, but Alfred wasn't even listening anymore.

"But what did I do? Oh god, I can't even remember!" He said, starting to get overwhelmed. "How am I supposed to make it right if I don't even know what I did? I don't know what to do! What do I do?"

Suddenly, Alfred felt a pair of arms wrap around him and Ivan gently pulled into a bear hug. As Ivan rested his head on top of Alfred's, Alfred froze. It took him a moment to understand what was going on and in his confusion he didn't resist. He just kind of stood there confused for a moment, before he looked up at Ivan.

"Ivan."

"Yes?" Ivan hummed.

"What are you doing?"

"I am hugging you."

"Well, yeah. But I meant why are you hugging me?" Alfred asked with a frown.

"Because you were freaking out."

"Oh." Alfred said. After a moment he relaxed a bit into the hug. Alfred always had thought Ivan would be cold to the touch, but surprisingly he was warm. "This is nice."

"I am very good at hugging." Ivan said cheerfully.

"Mhmm." Alfred agreed.

"Do you want to go home?"

"Yeah." Alfred agreed, suddenly feeling drained. "Can we pick up ice cream on the way home?"

"If you want to." Ivan agreed, letting Alfred go. "Are you feeling any better?"

"A little?" Alfred said with a shrug.

"Good." Ivan said with a nod. He gently pushed Alfred towards the exit. "We should probably go before the others find us again."

"Good idea." Alfred muttered, following Ivan out into the parking lot.

Ivan insisted on driving, and Alfred didn't put up much of a fight. He didn't think he was in much of a condition to drive anyways. As they drove down the road, Ivan sighed.

"You know you are not to blame for Japan's mistakes, right?" He asked.

Alfred didn't say anything, just turned to look out the window at the passing traffic.

"It is not because of anything you did." Ivan continued. "I am not sure why he would do this, but I am sure it has nothing to do with your actions."

"But why then?" Alfred asked miserably.

"Who knows?" Ivan said with a shrug. "Maybe he was not trying to hurt you at all, and just made a bad decision. Maybe he is an idiot. Maybe he wanted you to be angry at me. Regardless of the reason, you should not blame yourself."

Alfred just shrugged his shoulders.

"Not everything is your fault."

"Sure feels like it sometimes." Alfred muttered.

"Just because the world points their fingers at you and says that is your fault doesn't make it true." Ivan snorted. "And I think they forget that if all of their dirty laundry was out in the open all of the time they would not look so good either. You are just unfortunate to have the news always pointed at you at all hours of the day."

"But I'm not that good of a person." Alfred said with a sigh. "And it kind of sucks that just because I wanted to be nicer to you everyone thinks I'm going nuts. Am I really that much of a jackass that me acting kind is unthinkable?"

"Not really. But I am not a very good person either. So what? Just because we are not nice all time does not mean anything. And sure, America can be a pain in the ass who sticks his nose where it does not belong, and can be a jackass, but Alfred loves cats, and learning how to ice skate, and loves watching snow fall." Ivan said with a small smile. "And I like him for that."

A smile pulled at Alfred's lips. "You're getting soft in your old age."

"Perhaps." Ivan agreed. "That would not be the worst thing that happened to me. Maybe I should retire."

"Somewhere warm?"

"With a large field of sunflowers." Ivan agreed.

"Sounds nice." Alfred said, closing his eyes, resting his head against the window.

"Da, it does." Ivan said with a smile.

A/N: Oh my lord, why did this take so long to make? Okay, starting to make some leaps! People are pissed off, friendships are ruined, people got punched, and is that romance in the air?! I think so! :D What will the other nations do now? When will Belarus kill them? Why do I keep asking questions I don't know the answers to? Find out next chapter!