A/N: I don't usually update so fast, but I feel like I really do want to get on with things, and also I really, REALLY want to write for France's character again! He is just behind Alfred and Ivan for the most fun character to write for. ^-^ With that said…I will break you. Prepare to cry bitches, we're ending Alfred's fucking angst train today, and we're going out with a FUCKING BANG BABY! YEEEEEHHHAAAAAWWW!
When Alfred finally got home, he made a bee-line to his room. Once he shut the door behind him, he only stopped for a moment to throw off his shoes, tie, and suit jacket and then he collapsed onto his bed. God, he needed a nap. When was the last time he had had a decent amount of sleep? He couldn't really remember, but he quickly stopped caring as he shut his eyes and felt himself drifting off. What he really needed was some sleep and a chance to get his mind to slow down for a while. His emotions could fuck off, he was done for today.
Of course, a few minutes after he had dozed off he heard his phone ding next to him, waking him up a little. He ignored it, and was just drifting off again when it dinged again. Alfred made an annoyed noise and he smacked it under his pillow. Whoever it was could wait. He had no brain power left. For a third time, he tried to get some sleep, only for his phone to break out into full blown ringing, happily blaring its stupid chipper tones into Alfred's skull.
If this wasn't about the end of the world, Alfred was going to murder whoever was on the other side of that phone call. Growling, Alfred snatched the phone out from under his pillow, and was just about to start shouting at the person on the other side of the line when he paused. He briefly remembered yelling at Italy before like this, and feeling bad later. So just as a precaution he looked at the caller ID.
He was glad he did, because he saw that it was Ukraine calling him. Well, he was glad he didn't yell at her and make her cry. He was pretty sure Ivan would have killed him for that, and would have been justified. You'd have to be a monster to yell at her. He took a moment to take a deep breath to get his irritation under control, then he answered the phone with a sleepy, "Hello?"
"Hello, America! Did I call you at a bad time?" Ukraine asked, and Alfred swore that Ukraine sounded like she was on the verge of laughing. Well, at least she wasn't calling for something bad.
"Kinda. I'm just trying to get some sleep." Alfred replied, putting his phone next to him on the pillow and closing his eyes again. God he was tired.
"Oh, well I'll be quick then. I have something to ask you. I need an opinion on something."
"Really? What about?"
"So, I am having a dilemma. You see, I am trying to match me and my siblings outfits for the upcoming Christmas party, and I could not make my mind up. I'm trying to think of good matching colors that would suit all three of us, but nothing seems to work."
Alfred frowned slightly. Why did Ukraine need his help for that? He thought she had already picked out her dress. Maybe she had changed her mind or something?
"It is Ivan who's the problem, I am afraid. He usually wears light colors, but I wanted to dress him up in something darker, but he hates wearing black." Ukraine continued with a thoughtful hum. Alfred couldn't help but imagine her furrowing her eyebrows and wearing a thoughtful frown. It seemed like her. "I'm not sure what to do. Black would look so good on him, but he refuses to budge on the matter. If you wouldn't mind telling me, what will you be wearing at the party? It might give me some ideas."
Oh, that was all? "I'm not really sure." Alfred said, relaxing slightly. "Mattie said he's going to be picking out my suit for the party."
"Well, you must have a color in mind." Ukraine asked eagerly.
"Well, I usually wear blue." Alfred said. "It's my favorite color."
"I see." Ukraine hummed, sounding strangely pleased with his response. "What color accessories do you usually match them with?"
Alfred, too tired to remember what the hell he usually wore just chose to describe the suit he was wearing. "Silver. Unless it's the tie. I usually wear black ties with blue suits. Maybe red ties if I'm up to it."
"I see…" Ukraine said again, and to Alfred's amusement he heard a pencil scratching something down on her end. Well, no one could say she wasn't passionate about this. "What about yellow for accessories?"
"Yellow? Not on light blue. It would have to be on a dark blue suit to make it pop."
"Of course." Ukraine said,sounding more and more pleased. "Now that I think about it, I never see you in light suits, America. Have you ever thought about wearing light colors?"
Alfred didn't hesitate. "Never. My hair and skin tone don't look good in light colors."
"Ivan has lighter hair and looks good in light colors." Ukraine pointed out.
"That's 'cause he looks good in everything." Alfred replied with a yawn. Not realizing what he said, he missed the sharp intake of air from Ukraine as he rubbed his eyes. As soon as he stopped yawning, she spoke up quickly.
"So, you think…" she paused for a moment, like she was choosing her words very carefully. "...that you'll be wearing something darker then?"
"Yeah, probably."
"I see. Well, I won't keep you then. I have a few more ideas now, so rest well." She said, suddenly sounding like she was in a rush. "Don't let me keep you."
"Uh, okay? Bye." Alfred said, confused at the sudden change of behavior.
"Yes! Goodbye!" And as suddenly as she came, she left Alfred there baffled. That had been incredibly random. Oh well, at least he could get some sleep now, he thought with a sigh of relief, finally drifting off for real this time.
_Ivan_
Ivan had been sitting on the couch, playing with Hero and Milashka when he felt his phone buzzing in his jacket pocket. Curious, he let Hero snag the piece of string he had been dragging around out of his hand, and as the two cats wrestled on the ground at his feet he pulled his phone out and checked his text messages.
To his bewilderment, he saw that his older sister had texted him a rather strange message.
Katya: If you mess this up, Vanya, you really will be the biggest fool I've ever met.
Ivan stared at the message, not understanding why his sister had felt the need to speak to him in such a way. It was not like her to insult him for no reason. Was she talking about him and Alfred?
Me: ?
Katya: :(
Me: What are you talking about?
Katya: Fool
Ivan sputtered in shock as he read her message. What on earth was going on with Katya to make her behave so mean to him? What did he do?!
Me: ;-; What have I done to anger you?!
Katya: Dummy
Me: WHY?!
Katya: I am coming over early. Expect me on the 23rd. I can no longer trust you to do this by yourself. If you do this by yourself, you will end up sad and rejected and then die alone.
Me: （/ＴДＴ)/ Why are you being so cruel to me?
Katya: Because you are a fool.
Ivan stared at his phone, godsmacked. What on earth had he done to make his sister so angry?! He hadn't even spoken to her today? He sent her a few more texts asking what on earth was going on, but she didn't bother to respond.
"What did I do?" Ivan asked in distress to the empty room around him, only to have his cry responded to by the sad meow of Milaska, who had just realized his food bowl was empty.
So much for getting answers.
_Later_
When Alfred woke up later that evening, he was rather amused to find Ivan pouting on the couch. When he asked Ivan what he was upset about, the older nation just shook his head and grumbled about having mean sisters. Alfred, wisly, decided not to pry into that can of worms, instead deciding to start dinner.
Eventually, Alfred decided to text Kiku to ask about France during dessert. Japan quickly responded in the affirmative that, yes, he and France had been rooming together for the last few weeks. He also agreed, after some persuasion on Alfred's part, to let Alfred speak to France one on one, on the condition that Alfred not hurt France too badly as the older nation had already had one great scare from Ivan earlier that week and he had only just recovered from that.
On relaying that news to Ivan, the taller nation had perked up immediately, much to Alfred's amusement. Honestly, it was kind of cute how Ivan's mood switched so much just by the thought of harming France. Not like Alfred blamed him, as it had also improved his mood slightly. Again, he suspected that he had been hanging around Ivan too much. He could have sworn his thoughts weren't this violent a few weeks ago. Eh, he'd deal with that later.
After setting up a time to meet up with Kiku the next day, Alfred spent the rest of the evening avoiding Ivan's attempts to cuddle him, much to the older nation's disappointment. Alfred had made up some excuse of wanting to catch up on getting some rest, but he felt a twinge of guilt every time he saw Ivan's disappointed expression. It wasn't that he didn't want to, (he really did), it was just that he didn't trust his body not to betray his true feelings towards the other nation, who had sadly retired back to his room after Alfred made it clear that hugs were a no go that night. As soon as Ivan had gone back to his room, Alfred gave up on trying to salvage the day and headed back to bed himself.
The next day, Alfred woke up earlier than usual. Not that had surprised him, since he had had an extra nap the previous evening. Glancing at his alarm clock he saw it was just after seven. He debated about going back to sleep, but at the smell of coffee he decided to get up. He needed the caffeine anyway. Rolling out of bed, he shuffled out of his room and holding back a yawn, he walked around the corner of the hallway and into the kitchen. Still bleary eyed, he hadn't noticed Ivan, who had been sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of coffee and reading the newspaper, instead making a bee-line to the coffee maker.
Ivan watched Alfred in amusement as the younger watched the coffee maker like a hawk. He had known that Alfred was fond of his coffee, but it always was fun to see how oblivious he was when he needed a caffeine boost. Ivan was pretty sure Alfred wouldn't have noticed an army marching through his kitchen at that moment. It was a rather adorable trait of his. Ivan tilted his head with a thoughtful hum. Maybe…
Alfred, who was too busy watching the coffee maker, didn't notice Ivan slowly putting down his newspaper and quietly getting up from his chair. Making sure that Alfred wouldn't notice him, Ivan crept up behind Alfred, until he was right behind him. He stood there for a few seconds, making sure Alfred wouldn't have a chance to escape, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. It came when the coffee maker clicked off, and before Alfred had a chance to to even reach for his drink, Ivan grabbed the smaller nation around the waist from behind and dragged him into a hug, making sure to take advantage of his full weight to make it impossible for Alfred to push him off.
"Ack! Ivan? What are you doing? Get off me, you're too heavy." Alfred whined, trying to push the older nation off his shoulders, only to find that it was trying to push a brick wall. In response, Ivan let himself lean more on Alfred, until the shorter nation was basically the only thing holding him up. Alfred let out a grunt at the sudden extra weight, and he had to brace his legs so he didn't fall.
"Ivannnn, get off." Alfred whined again. "What the hell?!"
"Nyet. Mine." Ivan hummed, burying his face into Alfreds shoulder as he hid his pleased smile from Alfred. His heart felt warm, much to his delight. "All mine."
Alfred's face went pink at Ivan's words, but he tried to ignore it as he tried to push Ivans arms off of him, trying to look over his shoulder to glare at ivan. "Mine nothing! I need my dang coffee! Get off me."
Ivan giggled, and shook his head. "No. You are mine now. So no coffee for you." To Alfreds horror, Ivan started to drag him away from the coffee machine.
"My caffeine! No!" Alfred yelped, trying, and to his amazement, failing to stop Ivan from dragging him away from his coffee.
"It is not good for you." Ivan teased. "Maybe I should just throw it away?"
"If you do that, I'll bite the shit out of you, and not in the sexy way." Alfred threatened, much to Ivan's delight. It was so much fun to tease Alfred. He always said fun things. Ivan, lifting his head off of Alfred's shoulder, pretended to pout at Alfred.
"Does that mean you like coffee more than me, Подсолнух?"
"Depends on the time of day. Now get off me!" Alfred shot back, lightly kicking Ivan's shin. It didn't hurt Ivan, but he got the message. Feeling that he had teased Alfred enough, Ivan let Alfred go, and Alfred quickly leapt away from him, snatching up his cup of coffee and throwing Ivan a stern look.
"My coffee. Don't touch." Alfred warned.
"I can not guarantee that won't. I get jealous easily." Ivan joked, and Alfred stuck his tongue out at him.
Ivan just continued to beam as Alfred finally turned away with a slight huff, though he didn't actually seem all that annoyed. Ivan studied Alfred as he marched away to the living room with his cup of coffee. He noticed that Alfred would act annoyed with him, but then do nothing about it or would seem happier afterwards. Ivan hummed thoughtfully as he pondered the seemingly contradictory behavior. Pehapes Alfred liked being teased? That would explain why he never actually asked him to stop cuddling him, even when he seemed annoyed by it.
Ivan couldn't help but brighten up at the thought. If that was true, that meant that Alfred actually liked his hugs! Maybe he was just being shy then? It would make sense, seeing as Alfred was not the most comfortable with physical contact most of the time. Maybe he did not know how to ask for them! It made so much sense! Beaming, Ivan nodded once, satisfied with his conclusion. He would have to find a way to make Alfred used to being held. Perhaps then Alfred would start hugging him back more!
"Hey, don't forget that we have to go out later!" Alfred called from the other room. "Kiku said that we have to get there early or else we might miss France."
At Japan's name, Ivans good mood crashed to the floor and his smile dropped off of his face. Ah, he had almost forgotten about that. Pity. Any day without remembering Japan was a good one as far as he was concerned.
"Ah, of course. I will keep that in mind." Ivan replied, careful not to let his negative emotions into his voice.
Alfred stuck his head back around the door and gave Ivan a stern look. "No fighting with him. I mean it. I don't want my friends beating the shit out of each other when I'm not looking."
"What about when you are looking?"
"Especially not when I'm looking. Look, I'm not asking you to like Kiku, but just try to act civil, okay?"
Ivan couldn't quite hide his look of displeasure. He might not have minded so much, if it weren't for the fact that Japan had made it quite clear that he still liked Alfred. That fact alone made him want to bludgeon the shorter asian nation to dust. Worse still, Alfred had no idea that he and Japan had come to blows the other day due to the fact that they both had a thing for him. He wasn't proud of that, but at the same time he couldn't feel sorry about attacking Japan either. After what he had said to him, Ivan was only sorry he hadn't got a good hit in.
With a small unhappy hum, he said, "I can not guarantee that we will not fight. I can only promise that I will not throw the first punch."
"I'll accept that." Alfred said after a moment. "That's actually better than I thought I would get."
"What time did we have to meet them?"
"Kiku said around ten would be fine. So let's get moving." Alfred said, glancing up at the clock.
"Da…" Ivan agreed reluctantly.
_LATER_
As it turned out, the hotel that Japan and France had been staying at had only been a few miles down the road from where the rest of the nations had been staying, much to Alfred's amusement. He had to admit, they had definitely picked a good hiding spot. He would have never thought they would be so close by. But as they say, hindsight was always 20/20. With that thought bouncing around in his head, they made their way into the hotel, up an elevator, and into a hallway on the third floor. As they made their way to the hotel room, Alfred noticed that Ivan was looking more and more upset.
Alfred had noticed that the older nation's mood had plummeted since that morning, and while he could tell Ivan was trying to hold it together, he was doing a poor job about it. If Alfred didn't know Ivan so well, he might have thought Ivan was on the war path. In reality, Ivan was probably just irritated. He hadn't let his death aura out yet at least, so at least that was a good sign. As they reached the door to Japan's hotel room, Alfred hesitantly reached over and rested a hand on Ivan's arm, which caused Ivan to look down at him with a frown.
"You okay?" Alfred asked.
Ivan smiled slightly, and nodded. "I will be fine. There is no need to worry about me."
"If I don't, who will?" Alfred joked, quickly letting go of Ivan and knocking on the door.
Who indeed, Ivan wondered mildly as he heard footsteps approaching them.
It didn't take long until they heard someone unlocking the door, and as the door swung open, Ivan couldn't help but glower down at Japan, who promptly ignored him as he smiled at Alfred.
"Ah, I am glad to see you Alfred. Russia." Japan added as an afterthought, giving Ivan a small nod of acknowledgement.
"Japan." Ivan replied flatly.
"Kiku! You look better!" Alfred said happily, leaning down and giving his friend a quick hug, which Japan happily returned.
Ivan's glower deepened as Japan shot him a smug look, but he didn't get to hug Alfred long, as Alfred quickly ended the hug and asked in a low voice,"Is France in?"
"Hai. He is in the kitchen. He is not aware of anything."
"Okay, good." Alfred said, taking a deep breath and patting Japan on the arms. "Okay. Sorry guys, but would you mind stepping out for a while? No offense, but this conversation is going to be kinda personal in nature." Alfred asked, shooting Japan an apologetic look, which Japan just nodded at. "Sorry, I didn't mean to kick you out of your own place."
"I do not mind." Japan said honestly. "I was not planning on staying." Japan added, glancing over at Ivan again, who continued to glower at him. "Russia and I have some business to attend to, so we may be gone awhile. Take as much time as you need, Alfred."
At Japan saying Alfred's name, Ivan's eyes narrowed, but he didn't do anything otherwise. Japan couldn't help but be impressed by his restraint.
"Cool. Seriously, both of you, be civil." Alfred said, looking at Japan expectedly. "Please?"
"You have no need to fret. We will not do anything to worry you." Japan reassured Alfred. Ivan reluctantly nodded as well, which made Alfred relax slightly.
"Okay, I trust you guys. I'll see you later." With a last worried look at them, Alfred walked into the apartment and shut the door behind him with a snap, leaving Ivan and Kiku to stare each other down.
They stood there, sizing each up for a moment.
"I heard you wanted to speak to me?" Japan asked, careful not to show any of his emotions on his face.
"I did, da." Ivan said. "While I would not usually bother interacting with you, I do feel like we need to resolve some things if we are both to be in Alfred's lifes as friends."
"Not an unreasonable request." Japan acknowledged. "However, I have a feeling this issue is about being more than friends in your case. Am I wrong?"
Ivan glanced at the hotel room next to them with a frown. Jerking his head in the direction of the elevator, Ivan said, "Not here. Let's find another area to speak."
"Fine." Japan agreed. "But I get to pick the location."
"That is fine by me."
Neither of them moved for a Ivan sighed. Turning around, he started walking to the elevator. He had a feeling that this was going to be a long conversation.
_Alfred_
Alfred stood in the hallway for a moment, listening to France hum as he cooked something in the kitchen. He had a small flashback to just a few months ago when he and France had been in the middle of a cooking lesson, with France lecturing him about not over whisking some ingredients. It wasn't that long ago, but for some reason those lessons seemed like they took place years ago. Things weren't so complicated back then. Alfred felt himself frowning at the thought. Shaking his head, he finally walked to the kitchen.
Peeking his head around the corner, he spotted France standing by the sink, wearing a green apron as he diced up something by the sink. Looking closer, he saw France was cutting up apples. Scanning the rest of the nearby counters, he saw the ingredients for an apple pie scattered around the room. Huh. He had half expected France to be making a coconut cake. Wasn't that supposed to be their next lesson? Regardless, he decided to wait till France to put down his knife before he announced himself. As mad as he was at France, he didn't want the older nation to cut himself from being surprised either.
It took a few minutes, but France finally put down his knife, and was just reaching over for the pie crust when Alfred finally announced himself by clearing his throat.
France froze, his hand frozen over the pie crust for a solid minute before he slowly lowered it and turned around with a defeated look on his face.
"Ah, I thought Japan was acting oddly this morning." France sighed. "I should have realized."
"Sup?" Alfred asked, crossing his arms with an unimpressed look. "You busy?"
France gestured at the cooking around him with a slightly amused look on his face. "Actually, I was. What a coincidence, I was actually working on your apology dish."
"I was expecting a coconut cake." Alfred said lightly, which made France blink in confusion.
"Coconut cake?"
"You know, our lesson that we missed?"
"Oh, mon Dieu, I completely forgot about that." France said, slapping his forehead with the palm of his hand. "We will have to reschedule unfortunately. I don't have the ingredients for that today, I am afraid."
"Yeah, well I didn't come here to cook dude." Alfred said cooly, and France grimaced. Noticing Frances defeated look, Alfred waved it away with a tired look. "Calm down, I'm not going to hit you, although I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted."
"Really?" France asked, looking up at Alfred in shock. "But…I thought-"
"Oh, that doesn't mean I'm not angry at you. Quite the contrary. In fact, I'm super pissy right now, because you fucked up big time."
"I-" France started to say, but Alfred cut him off.
"No, you don't even know what I've been through because of your actions. I almost lost my best friend because of what you did. There are countless rumors about me and Ivan floating around, my boss has been on my ass for the last month, Belarus is currently out hunting for my head, and the amount of stress I've been through these last few days is only comparable to the height of the cold war."
As Alfred spoke, France's shoulders slumped, and a look of shame grew on his face. "I-" France tried to speak up again, but Alfred kept going, ignoring him.
"The amount of damage you've done to me is staggering." Alfred continued, glancing up at the ceiling with a far off look. "I'm not even talking about what you've done to my reputation, or my workload, or even the time you've made me waste. Just the amount of emotional damage you've put me through is enough to make me want to run screaming into the night. Seriously, the amount of times I've had an emotional meltdown this month could fill my quota for the next ten years. But even that's not even the worst thing you've done to me. Do you want to know what the worst part of all this is? You want to take a guess?" Alfred asked, finally looking back at France, still giving him a strangely calm look.
"What?" France asked, bracing himself for Alfred's answer, not quite sure where Alfred was going with this.
Alfred didn't answer straight away, instead opting to walk over to the nearby table. Pulling out a chair, Alfred collapsed into it. He sat there for a moment, staring blankly at the table. Then to Frances' horror, tears started building up in Alfred's eyes, until suddenly they spilled over, and Alfred started to break down completely. Thick tears rolled down Alfred's face, and as he desperately tried to wipe them away, he said in a completely broken voice, "You made me fall in love with Ivan, you bastard! You god damn, fucking bastard! What am I supposed to do now!? I can't even look at him without losing control. I can barely even touch him! Just thinking about being around him like that is killing me, and I don't know how to stop it! It is physically killing me, and I don't know what to do!"
"Oh mon petit. Oh mon pauvre, pauvre petit fils." France gasped softly, covering his mouth. As Alfred covered his face, shoulders shaking from his sobs, France slowly made his way over. When he was sure Alfred wouldn't lash out at him, he crouched down and gently held Alfred's face, wiping his tears away with his thumbs.
"My poor little one. It will be okay. Shh. I am here with you." France muttered gently.
"It's not okay." Alfred sobbed.
"Alfred, it will be okay." France said gently, but firmly. "You are hurting now, yes, but that is just the first step to realizing something so much more than you ever imagined. It is scary, yes, but only because the emotion is so new to you. It is okay to be scared. It is okay to not feel ready to carry such a heavy burden. That is a perfectly natural response. You shouldn't feel so ashamed about those feelings."
As Alfred continued to cry, France pulled him into a hug, gently running a hand through Alfred's hair. "My poor child. So, so young, yet so brave." France said with a tired sigh. It was on days like this that he truly felt old. Watching Alfred cry like this reminded him of when Alfred was still a colony, crying because he was overwhelmed by everything in the world. Some things never changed, he thought with a bitter smile.
It took the better part of thirty minutes to calm Alfred down, and even then he still had tears falling down his face. France, who had moved over to the chair next to Alfred so he could comfort and support him better, was just thankful that he had calmed down a little. He had rarely seen Alfred so distressed before. Sighing, France continued to mutter calming words to Alfred as Alfred leaned into France's shoulder. As soon as France was sure Alfred wouldn't break down again, he handed Alfred a few tissues.
"Are you feeling better now?" He asked sadly as Alfred wiped his eyes.
"No. I'm still angry at you." Alfred said, though he didn't try to leave France's hug.
"I'm so sorry, love." France said, looking at Alfred with a truly remorseful expression. "I swear, if I had known what grief I would have caused you I would have never followed you that day. I never meant to hurt you. You know that I would never have intentionally hurt one of my little boys."
Alfred just responded with a distressed hum of acknowledgment.
"Come now, dry your tears." France muttered. "It will be okay."
"I'm still going to yell at you later."
"And I will deserve it."
They sat in silence for a few more minutes as Alfred tried to pull himself together, letting out the occasional distressed hic-up.
"So, Ivan?" France finally asked, raising a playful eyebrow at Alfred. "Then it has come true then?"
I guess so."
"Oh my, to think that I was right! I suppose my senses are still sharp as ever." France joked lightly. "I always thought you two would go well together."
"I think you were the only one who thought that." Alfred admitted.
"Perhaps. Perhaps." France admitted. "I admit, it was an unlikely match. Still, this is happy news, no?"
Alfre's face fell again. Before he could start crying again, France pulled him back into a hug again. "I see…"
"What if he doesn't love me back?" Alfred finally asked with a hiccup, catching France slightly off guard.
France hummed thoughtfully. Then he gave Alfred a sad smile. "Then Arthur and Mathieu will simply murder him in a horribly violent way."
Not expecting France to say something like that, Alfred let out a watery, startled laugh. France chuckled slightly at his reaction. "Ah, now we see a smile. And here I thought we would never see it again."
"But, what if-"
"What if? Ah, there is your problem, love." France said, gently cutting Alfred off. "There you go, over-thinking again." France tapped Alfred's forehead with a finger. "That is your problem. You are so busy worrying about what could be, that you do not enjoy what you have now. What if Ivan does love you, hmm? Have you ever stopped to think about that possibility?"
Alfred looked up at him guiltily. "No…"
"Why not?" France asked.
"I…Um…" Alfred stuttered, seemingly unable to come up with an answer. "I guess I never thought about it…"
"And therein lies the problem! You assume the worst before you even start. I swear, you and Arthur are so, so unfortunately similar in character there. I blame his bad parenting." France said a huff. "And if the worst does happen, and he does reject you? Well, just look at Kiku. It hurt him for a while, but he recovered, did he not? Is your friendship gone? Do you love him any less?"
"No."
"There you go then." France said, giving Alfred a soft smile. "The world may feel like it's ending,but that does not mean it's true."
"That still doesn't stop it from feeling like I'm dying everytime i look at him." Alfred muttered.
"Ah, that is not as easily fixed, I am afraid." France said with a laugh. "I am afraid that it is just love you are feeling. I also believe that it is so bad because I do not think you have fully accepted your feelings for him yet. Tell me, are you forcing yourself to stay away from him?"
"I mean, it's hard to stay away when he lives in my house."
"But do you deny yourself from him? Do you not allow yourself to enjoy his feelings, his contact, his company?"
"Kinda?"
"Then you are breaking your own heart. Alfred, look at me for a moment." France prompted gently. Hesitantly, Alfred looked up at him.
"Do you love Ivan?"
"Yes."
"Then stop trying to push him away. You're only going to hurt both Ivan and yourself by doing that. Allow yourself to be happy with him. Allow yourself to touch him. Allow yourself to admire him. Allow yourself to be happy with no need to be afraid of what might be. Allow yourself to hope. Allow yourself to love him. That is what love is."
Alfred didn't say anything for a moment, mulling over France's words. France didn't try and push him, simply letting him come to his own conclusions. There was no rush.
"Iggy said something similar." Alfred finally said with a sniff.
"Oh, did he now?"
"Yeah."
"I do not say this often, but you should have listened to him." France said with a small chuckle, ruffling Alfred's hair. "Though, would I be wrong in assuming that he mostly ended up making fun of you?"
"Yeah, he did. So did Mattie."
"Say it's not so! Your own twin turned on you?" France asked with a laugh.
Alfred finally let himself smile a little. "Yeah, they were kinda mean. They put me in a suit and made me go out to lunch with Ivan."
"Qu'est-ce que c'est?" France asked sharply, making Alfred jump slightly. "When was this?"
"Uh, yesterday." Alfred said, confused by Frances' reaction.
"And when did you come to realize that you loved Ivan?"
"Um…about a day and a half ago."
France stared at him in disbelief for a moment. "You are saying that on practically the same day you figured out you truly loved Ivan, your brothers basically made you go on a date with him?"
"That summarizes it pretty well actually."
France's face darkened slightly. "Were they aware of your distress?"
"I puked when I figured out I liked Ivan, and I told them that. So, yeah, they did."
France muttered something darkly under his breath, before he let out a frustrated sigh and shook his head. "Never mind what I said about Arthur earlier. He is a moron and you should never ask him for dating advice. No wonder you are a mess if you have been getting advice from fools like him."
"I mean, I did go along with it." Alfred said, trying to defend his brothers only for France to click his tongue impatiently.
"Alfred, you are the only one not to blame. You were under distress, and they went and forced you into something you would not have done otherwise. It is a miracle you didn't break down earlier. When I get my hands on them I will knock their heads together! What were they thinking?!"
"I mean, it wasn't all bad." Alfred admitted. "It was kind of fun, even if Ivan did try to take a bite out of my hand."
France paused at that. "Excuse-moi? Did you just say-"
"Yeah, it was as weird as it sounded. I think he was trying to joke around with me but it really didn't work." Alfred said with a snicker.
"Alfred, I say this with all the love in the world, but are you sure you want to date Ivan? He seems to be a bit of a moron." France asked, giving Alfred a serious look, causing Alfred burst out into laughter.
"Also, if you are planning to date him, perhaps you could catch me up on what is going on? I am afraid I have been out of the loop a bit since the World meeting." France said, finally standing up again. "If you want, we can do a cooking lesson here while we talk? I know I've already taught you how to make apple pies, but this is a new recipe I found that you might like. Also…I want to talk about how I can make up for my actions earlier. I never meant to cause you so much distress, and I am truly sorry for causing you harm. Hopefully I will be able to make it up to you, yes?"
"Yeah, we can do that." Alfred said with a small smile. "I would like that."
"Wonderful!" France said, beaming down at the younger nation. "In that case, go wash your hands. The first thing we'll have to do is…"
_Ivan_
It turned out that the area Japan had wanted to talk at was a small park near the hotel. Not that that bothered Ivan. He wasn't there for the scenery. Ivan did notice that it was a rather busy park, with many small children and their families playing at a nearby jungle gym. Ivan frowned slightly as he scanned the area. He supposed that Japan had been honest when he had said that he wouldn't fight. If Japan had wanted to fight him, he would have chosen a quieter area.
"This will do." Japan said as they stopped under a nearby tree. "No one should be able to hear us here." Taking a deep breath, Japan faced Ivan with a firm look, crossing his arms and leaning against the tree. "What did you want?"
Ivan didn't say anything for a moment, instead gazing at Japan with a thoughtful look on his face. Japan didn't think he was trying to intimidate him, but was rather choosing his words carefully.
"I am…" Ivan paused again. After a few more seconds of silence, he tried again. "I would like to know…" Again, Ivan cut himself off, looking slightly frustrated with himself.
Japan tilted his curiosity at the taller nation. It was interesting to see the usually intimidating nation having trouble with expressing himself. However, he didn't speak up, deciding to see where this went.
"May I be blunt?" Ivan finally asked with a sigh.
Japan motioned for Ivan to go ahead.
"If I were to pursue Alfred romantically, would you interfere?" Ivan asked, causing Japan's eyebrows to shoot up in surprise.
"Wait, you really have feelings for him?" Japan asked, trying to hold down the dark feelings that were threatening to erupt from his heart.
"I would not have asked if I were not serious." Ivan replied in annoyance. "Perhaps you are going deaf, da?"
"I heard you fine." Japan replied coolly. "I am just surprised. I never thought you were capable of feeling such emotions towards others."
Ivan scowled at Japan. "Why? Am I not a human being? Or did you not remember that fact?"
"I have simply never seen you with anyone else before." Japan pointed out.
Ivan hummed in displeasure, but didn't dispute Japan's point. "I have simply never seen anyone else that way before." Ivan said. "Regardless, I would like to know if we are going to have a problem in the future because of it."
"Why, are you afraid that I will try and steal Alfred away?" Japan asked in a snippy voice.
"Yes."
Japan was thrown off by the response. They stood there, Ivan still looking steadily down at Japan, and Japan looking up at him in surprise.
"Do not think," Ivan said, crossing his own arms as he spoke, "that I am unaware of your role in Alfred's life. You are his best friend, and you clearly still have feelings for him. It is not unreasonable to see you, a long term ally of his, who clearly has lots of the same interests and viewpoints as him, as a potential threat."
"He has already made it clear he does not see me that way." Japan said bitterly. "Do you not trust him?"
Ivan's face darkened at Japan's words, and Japan saw his fists tighten slightly. Leaning closer towards Japan, Ivan growled, "I would trust Alfred with my own life. Don't you dare question my trust in him. It is you that I cannot trust."
"Do you think so lowly of me to think me capable of ignoring Alfred's wishes?" Japan asked angrily, and Ivan saw something dark moving behind Japan's eyes.
Ivan scowled down at him. "I wouldn't put it past you after seeing your behavior this last month. You have done very little in the way of showing yourself as a trustworthy friend.'
Japan pursed his lips as he glared at Ivan, but Ivan knew his point had hit home when Japan refused to respond.
Ivan kept going. "When we last spoke, you even said you would be waiting for the chance to win Alfred back. Forgive me if I have my doubts about you."
Japan let out a huff at that. "Ah, I see. As for that remark, I meant that I would be there AFTER a theoretical relationship with him. I am a lot of things, Russia-" Japan said in a low, angry voice, "but I am not a homewrecker. If Alfred does see you as a worthy partner I would be the last person to stop him. I love Alfred, it is true, but I would be the last person to get in the way of him being happy."
"Does that mean you would not prevent me from pursuing him?" Ivan asked again.
"That would depend on Alfred's response." Japan said with a scowl. "If Alfred is fine with it, I will not interfere. But if I see even the slightest hint that Alfred does not what your advances I will be the first one to chase you off."
Ivan scanned Japan's face for a moment, looking for any kind of lie. Japan continued to look at him defiantly. Finally, Ivan gave him a sharp nod.
"Fine."
"Do not mistake my words as approval." Japan snapped. "I still believe that you will hurt him. Maybe not intentionally, but I know your history, Ivan Braginsky. If not by your hand, then by the hands of your government. One day, you are going to break him, just like everyone else that you've broken. You are dooming him for misery."
Ivan scowled again. "That does not concern you. That is for Alfred and I to figure out if I am lucky enough to have him accept me."
"It does concern me! He is my best friend! If something does go wrong, I'll be the one helping pick up the pieces. I've already had to pick up the pieces before, or have you forgotten what you did to him during the Cold war?! Did you forget how you almost broke his mind?! Because I did not!"
"I cannot change the past." Ivan said simply. "I am trying to change my future. And even if you do not believe me, Alfred and I have already discussed our past before with each other. We have decided to move on from it and try to build something better from that rubble. But again, that is none of your business." Ivan added with a huff.
Japan scowled up at him. "I hope he does reject you."
"Ah, I see I have struck a nerve." Ivan said, shooting Japan a smug look. "Well, that was the only thing I wished to speak to you about, and thank goodness for that. I think that we are both done now, Da?"
Japan just kept scowling at him. Nodding in satisfaction, Ivan turned around and walked back down the path and towards the hotel. Japan didn't bother trying to follow him, instead looking away from Ivan with an irritated tisk.
Letting out a huff, Japan looked up at the sky above him, which was bright blue, and wished that Russia would just explode. That would make him feel better.
_Later_
By the time the pie was done, Alfred had already started to feel better. France, while chatting about this and that, had made sure to try and lift Alfred's spirits by telling him about his and England's failed romantic endeavors, including the one where he had tried to force England to marry him.
"I admit, that was by far my worst proposal." France said with a small laugh as he put the pie on the oven to cool. "He never lets me forget it either, which I do not think is very fair. It wasn't my fault that my boss told me to find some way to get out of debt. I panicked."
Alfred laughed at that, and France felt himself smiling as well. That was better. He never did like to see Alfred upset. "So," France asked as he sat back next to Alfred, giving the younger nation a curious look, "I have been curious about something."
"Yeah, what about?"
"What is it exactly about Ivan that you like?" France asked. "It is just strange. I have never seen you have a type before, so what drew you into him?"
Alfred hummed for a moment. "There really wasn't one thing, you know? It was kinda like it was a bunch of small things that just built up."
"Really? There's not something that jumps out at you when you think about him? Nothing that makes your heart race?"
Alfred blushed a little bit as he looked down at the table. "Well…"
"Oh! So there is!" France teased, leaning towards Alfred eagerly. "Come now, tell big brother France! Do not hold out on me!"
"I…like his hugs a lot." Alfred said, unable to hide a nervous smile. "They're very warm and strong."
France let out a squeal of delight, "Oh my, how pure of you!" France reached over and playfully ruffled Alfred's hair. "You are so precious! What else?"
"I like his puns a lot. I like how warm his hands are when I hold them. I like his smile a lot. Like, a lot. His laugh is even better! Have you ever heard his real laugh? It's super loud like mine!" Alfred said, his eyes sparkling as he spoke. "Did you know he's really good at tetris as well! Oh, and-"
France watched in amusement as Alfred started to ramble a bit, a huge smile on his face as he did so. It seemed that their little talk had finally done the trick, France thought with a small huff of laughter. Whatever had been holding Alfred back seemed to have finally been addressed, allowing Alfred to finally enjoy the fact that he liked Ivan. Good.
Just as he finished that last thought, there was a knock on the door. Glancing over in the direction of the door, France yelled, "It is open."
Alfred paused his rambling when he heard the knock on the door, and was glad he did so as Ivan entered the hotel room and walked into the kitchen, looking to be in very good spirits. His talk with Japan must have gone well then.
"Ah, we were just wondering where you had gotten off to." France said with a happy wave.
"Privet, France! I see that your talk has gone well." Ivan said. "Do I smell something baking?"
"Yes." France said, chuckling as Alfred's eyes brightened up as he looked at Ivan. His poor little Alfred. He couldn't hide his feelings to save his life. It was a good thing that Ivan was so stupid when it came to people liking him, or Alfred would have no chance. "We were making one of Alfred's favorites, apple pie."
"One of your favorites?" Ivan asked curiously, glancing at Alfred, who beamed back at him. For a moment Ivan was taken aback by how happy he looked, before he smiled as well. It seemed that his Подсолнух was happy again! How wonderful!
"Did something good happen for you to look so happy?" Ivan teased, poking Alfred's head. He was surprised again when Alfred didn't push him away like he usually did, but instead laughed.
"You could say that." Alfred said, looking up fondly at Ivan, whose smile grew in response.
"And what that might that be?"
"Nothing much. I just feel better." Alfred admitted, his eyes sparking with happiness.
France watched them in amusement. Hmm… that was interesting. Somehow he had been forgotten about already, and in his own kitchen to boot. Sighing fondly, he shook his head. Ah, young love.
"Well," France said, clearing his throat, causing the other two nations to jump slightly. "It is starting to get a bit late in the day, yes? Alfred, did you want to take the pie home? It was for you to begin with anyways."
"Yeah, sure." Alfred said.
"In that case, let me wrap it up for you. Then you two can get on with your day." France said, throwing Alfred a knowing wink. Alfred gave him a slightly exasperated look, which made France chuckle to himself as he got up and looked for a box to put the pie in. Ah, l'amour.
A/N: It took awhile, but you made it Alfred! Hopefully you can be happy without any more angst! It's not like we're forgetting about someone important who has a bad habit of stabbing people! Nope, it's all clear waters from here. :)
So, we have three more days till the Christmas Party! YOU ARE NOT READY! I'm half thinking about publishing the christmas party as one long chapter, but that might take too long. We'll have to see. But this also means the end of the story is almost here. I've been working on this story for so long. I'm not even sure what I should write next. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Anyways, I'll see you next time!
COUNT DOWN: 3 DAYS LEFT