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CHAPTER - 6

Morning doesn't come soon, I tossed and turned whole night, nightmare and my dry throat keeps waking me but Sue and he never left my side. I had a panic attack when I saw my old master holding the same diary of Edward in my sleep.

In morning he left me after putting some more glucose in my system. Sue helped me with bath and also chooses my dress just because he is in hurry today and waiting for me in hall. We are going for a morning walk. As we left house I realized this walk is more for talk then for health. He is in his favorite combination white T-shirt and blue jeans. He looks fresh and perfect but still worry is clearly showing in his face.

"So how are you feeling today?"

My face falls as I remember yesterday's events but I am grateful that he didn't wait for my answer.

"I know yesterday has been a heavy and long day for you, you didn't sleep properly either but still I think the sooner we finish this the better it will be for us. But first I want to apologies to you for reading your letter without your permission." I don't know what is there to talk if he read the letter he knows I am ready to go to school.

He sat on park bench and patted beside him for me.

"I am sorry I should have been patient but I couldn't control my self."

"You don't need to apologies, it was for you."

"Thank you. I am happy to know that you are ready to go to school; it will save me from forcing you into it. but I think what happened yesterday is more then just for school so I want to know why and what makes you so scared that you reacted this way." I can feel his eyes on my face but I stared at ground. I don't why he want to know, it won't change anything. I will still be going to school.

"Talk to me Bella."

"I don't know what to say?"

"Tell me why don't you wanted to go to school?" I have hundred and thousands of reason for not going but I know, not even one would satisfy him. I don't want to tell him because I know he won't understand.

"I don't know?" He took my hand in both of his and his voice turned more soothing and comforting.

"Bella, you can tell me, I won't be mad I promise, you don't need to be scared of me." His touch and his soft voice made me look up; I saw his eyes as clear blue sky. I saw him trying to understand me, his efforts to make my life better. So I decided to give him something I looked him in eye and said

"I am not scared of you; I am scared of going to school."

"Because you got kidnapped from school last time" My heart thudded in my chest and I gasped loudly.

"How do you know that?"

"I know. But you need to trust me I won't leave you unprotected Bella I got security for you, Elazer is already keeping an eye on you 24/7. You don't need to be scared of anything or anyone."

"Ok" I am too shocked to know that he knows I got kidnapped from school. It's not an information they share with buyers it's risky for human traffickers and to business.

"This ok is not convening love, there is more tell me what else?"

"Northing else" my defenses are back I don't want to share anything with him.

"Don't lie to me love, I told you, you are protected but still you are not happy about going to school, I still feel I am forcing you into it. Tell me what else."

"I…I want to go home." I said while staring at ground.

He sighed loudly and pinched the bridge of his nose "Bella…"

"Please…take me home." My 'please' worked. he granted me mercy and get up from chair.

"Ok, let go"

Walk back to home was long; he didn't try to make small conversation or tried to make things light like he usually does. He seem occupied in his thoughts like he is preparing him self for something.

When we reach home I hurried toward my room. I want to be alone with my pathetic life and sadness but his large hands wrap around my wrist and halted me in the middle of hall.

"Where are you going?" I looked back in confusion.

"My room?" His expression turned hard and cold at my answer.

"No you are coming with me; we still need to finish our conversation." His hand left my wrist and come on my back to guide me to his room. But I planted my feet I don't want to talk anymore I know if I said anything things will get worse.

"I….i am not feeling well please..?" This time my 'please' has no effect on him.

"No. last time I didn't force you to talk and things got messed up. I still regret that. Sue will be with us and you can rest as soon as we are done." I know I created mess yesterday and I am scared that will happen again if I go to his room.

"Bella you are coming with me one way or the other." His threat worked and my legs moved toward his room.

In his room he made me sit on couch instead of bed. Sue came and sits beside me. He gave me glass of water and sat infront of me. I am getting confused and frustrated with his behavior; he threatened me one second and cares me in next.

"Tell him what's bothering you love, he will do everything to make things the way you want." Sue said taking my hand in hers. I know I am not getting out of it without giving him an answer so I gave him most obvious one.

"I…I am 28, no one goes school at 28."

"Bella people study whole life, age has nothing to do with education. But if it's the only reason I will arrange private classes for you. You just need to go school for exam but I don't think it's the only reason. There is something else, more big reason. Tell me" I feel like suffocating I know my answer will not satisfy him till I tell him truth and I know I can't do that. I want to be alone.

"Bella tell me" I can feel my anger coming I know I have to leave now.

"There is northing else" I got up from couch but he held my wrist and stopped me

"You are not leaving this room until we are done." His cold voice burns my sole and I couldn't control my outburst.

"You do this all the time. One moment you want me to be free and deny me in next. What you want from me?"

"I want you to sit and answer my questions." My high pitched voice didn't affect his tone. I slumped in couch again.

"I told you there is northing else."

"There is something going inside the head of yours, there is something making you scared or you won't be trying to run from here."

"There is northing else" I repeated my self to control my reaction.

"Don't you dare lie." His treat got on my nerve again and I greeted my teeth to keep my words inside, my breathing picked up and I know if I keep my mouth shut I will burst.

"Only you are allowed to lie." My low voice got the reaction I am expecting. And I know there is no going back now.

"What?"

"You did all this, you lied to me, you planed to send me school from first time, my punishment of writing, taking me to breakfast, all of this so you can send me school comfortably."

"I never lied to you I always told you I want you to be free, school is just a step and Is it wrong to want you comfortable?" He tried to reason with me in soothing voice but all my senses have left me

"It's wrong to want me free. You are sending me to school so I become independent and I won't be a burden on you. If I am such a problem why don't you sell me to someone who won't make me feel like worthless peace of trash? Why are you so selfish..

"Stop, how can you be so ungrateful Bella?" Sue's hard voice got my senses back and I am shocked with my own reaction.

"Let her speak Sue, she is holding all this inside since a long time."

"I am not going to sit here while she behaves like teenager." Sue gets up and left the room. I put my head in my hand

"I am sorry Sue. I am sorry mas.." He took Sue's place and made me look up.

"No Bella, its ok I want you to talk, take it out of your system, tell me what else?"

"No I am sorry; you should punish me for being …."

"No Bella, don't retreat inside your self again, if you don't talk and put it out of your system, you will suffocate love."

"Sue is right I am ungrateful, I am.."

"Bella I will talk to her later, but right now you need to talk"

"I don't know what to talk, I am so confused"

"What are you confused about?"

"I …I don't know what you want, I thought…. I thought I will be yours but you didn't even touch me, you won't let me serve you, I never feel like I owe anyone, I never feel I am burden, may be because they always take things out on me. I …..i want to serve you please I want to be your slav.."

"Don't we are not going back to that. You don't owe me anything and you are not a burden to me, I don't understand how you can even want to go back to your old life. Have you forgotten how scared you were or how much pain you endured or how afraid you have been to be sold. How can you ask me to sell you now?

"Because at least I would be with some one. Where would I go? What would I do all alone in this world once you make me free?"

"How can you even think I would leave you alone, your freedom means giving you free will, so you live where ever you want to be, with whom ever you want, not to get you a job and throw you out. Do you understand now?" I am still not sure still confused and frustrated with my self.

"You will still live with us as long as you want." But still what would be my life? It will be as useless as I am now.

"But what would be the point, you don't want me now, you won't want me then." His fingers travels through my hair and pulls my head back and his other hand holding my face between his thumb and fingers so tightly that my lips parted. In an instant his lips meet mines and his tongue traveled down my throat. He sucked my lower lip so hard I know its will swell.

"Does it feel like I don't want you?" He asked softly and then touched my lips again. I am so happy that I forget to answer him. But I think he knows how I feel because he didn't press for answer.

"I want you in more ways then you can understand but I can't have you until you become free and when you do I will tell you things which you deserve to know about me and then if you want me I would be the luckiest person in this world. But till that time you are my responsibility not a burden, living with me would be your choice Bella. And think it once how good will it be you and I will go office together enjoy together live together. It would be so much better then waiting for me. Now do you agree to go to school?"

I smile and said "Yes Edward"