IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW INCOMPETENT YOU ARE AT SINGING AND DANCING, WHEN THE MUSICAL NUMBER STARTS, YOU WILL PARTICIPATE.
MOMS HAVE A VERY SHORT LIFESPAN IN THE DISNEY UNIVERSE. GET RID OF YOUR WALLET PICTURES AND NEVER INVITE HER TO YOUR WORKPLACE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH SHE GUILTS YOU.
THE ORPHANED KID WITH THE BIG, SAD EYES AND THEIR ADORABLE PET IS GONNA WIN. NO QUESTION. JUST KEEP REMINDING YOURSELF THAT IT ALL COUNTS TOWARDS YOUR PENSION.
STAY ONSCREEN AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE, SINCE THE SCREENWRITERS ALWAYS KILL OFF THE VILLAIN(S) AT THE FINALE WHILE THEY'RE OUT OF SIGHT (OKAY, MAYBE THERE'LL BE A SILHOUETTE OF THEM MEETING THEIR DESERVED FATE). IF NECESSARY, FALL FLAT ON THE FLOOR, SINK YOUR FINGERNAILS INTO THIS, AND REFUSE TO MOVE.
THE TREASURE ROOM WILL ONLY BE SHOWN ONCE, WITH ALL THE GOLD COINS, JEWELS, AND PRECIOUS ITEMS GLEAMING IN THEIR ANIMATED GLORY, AND REQUIRING HOURS OF OVERTIME FOR THE ARTISTS. STILL, YOU'LL HAVE PLENTY OF NOTICE TO SNEAK INTO THERE AND LOOT THE PLACE BEFORE TAKING OFF WHEN THE BIG BATTLE WITH ALL THE SPECIAL EFFECTS HAPPENS ELSEWHERE BETWEEN YOUR BOSS AND THE PLUCKY HEROES.
THE ARCTIC, THE SAHARA DESERT, THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN, SECOND STAR ON THE RIGHT - THERE'LL ALWAYS BE A FRYING PAN TO CLOBBER YOU.