Hello, everyone!

I hope things are going well. I apologize for the delay; life gets in the way sometimes. I also had a grueling writer's block that resulted in my deleting roughly 80 pages of material from A Seeking Call, so there's that, too. When ASC is finished and fully uploaded, I'll probably put all of those deleted scenes in Unheard Whispers.

I'd also like to thank Epclaymore, Kuzii, toothlessgolfer, aaaaaaaaah, Lightbrightfury, MysteryWriter175, NomexGlove, Athnay, JustAnotherRandomPOster, CallMeUrmo, VigoGrimborne, and gh0stwing for all of your wonderful, thoughtful reviews! They really helped me when I was agonizing over my writer's block!

I'll try to upload again this weekend, especially since I'm uploading randomly on a Tuesday now. I hope you all enjoy, and have a great day!

Chapter 9

Hiccup

The next few days raced past.

Toothless and I were no strangers to preparing for long journeys. This one, however, needed a little more finesse, especially since we were taking Dad and Haugaeldr along. We needed to pack enough food and water to last us during any emergencies, coats and blankets for when winter set in, and navigation equipment. Not to mention all of the extra parchment and writing supplies we needed for the Book of Dragonese.

Toothless moaned about how long it was taking the whole time. "We can just hunt for food," he groused over and over. "And even if we can't find shelter, we can always make fires and use our wings to hold the warmth in."

Dad would have none of it. He obsessed over making sure everything was just right-both with our journey, and here on Berk.

Toothless and I had a similar job, too. Several days after we decided to travel, Astrid and Dad worked on moving the ships docked in the young King's bay, while Toothless and I gathered our nest's elders. There were many perching-nests that dotted Berk's landscape, and in the center of Berk, several of them were layered in aerial tiers to pack a lot of dragons close together above all of the houses. Some were roofed, giving space for dragons to rest up high, and others were simple platforms. Much of the elders, and any of our nestmates who had nothing else to do, bustled together at our call.

"I can't believe it," Toothless said, not for the first time, as we watched more and more of our nestmates flutter in. He'd spent a lot of his time acting like...well, acting like me, head lost in the clouds.

I stretched across his back, my whole body vibrating with a purr. "Me neither. We've got everything packed. Once we're done with this, we'll be ready to go."

A small, anxious overtone crept into his voice. "What if…they're not there?"

"Don't you always tell me not to worry?" I teased him, pulling one of his ears. "We'll find out once we get there."

He nodded. But the still tension in his neck and shoulders remained and he dug his claws tighter into the perch we were settled upon.

"It is fine," I thrummed to him.

That, luckily, helped him relax a bit. "Thank you, Hiccup."

We waited a little longer. The gathering of dragons, in turn, caused a crowd to form below. I waved at them and shouted a quick explanation down, and that was enough to get everyone back to business. The river of Vikings resumed its course-except, I noticed right away, what seemed to be a rock parting the river. Someone was still standing there, staring up at us.

I met Snotlout's eyes. He looked away, but didn't leave.

That...was an improvement. During all of the hustle and bustle these past few days, I'd tried to find my cousin and talk to him. Toothless was still furious with him, especially for invoking that name I had worked so hard to erase from my thoughts. It had stung-a lot-to hear the words come from my own cousin's lips. Especially when he had heard me reject it time and time again, even leaping to my defense at other villages if someone tried to use it.

He'd meant it to hurt, and that was what bothered me the most.

I could understand the sting of being brushed off so easily. I knew that feeling all too well. I had lived and breathed it my entire childhood, and now those memories were plagued with resentment.

But why did he blame me?

I had a feeling-one that made my stomach clench, one that I was sure was true.

"Ignore him," Toothless snorted, drawing me from my thoughts. He'd followed my gaze and was sending Snotlout one hell of a stink eye.

"You know I can't," I said. "If he's still there when we're done, we need to go talk to him."

Toothless scoffed and rolled his eyes. "No, he needs to talk to us."

"I'd rather not leave on bad terms," I said. "Having it hang over our heads."

My thoughts traced back five years ago-to the horrible fight I'd had with Dad, being abducted from Berk, spending days agonizing over how I might die and he would think I hated him to my last breath. My gut clenched for real and a shudder crept down my spine.

Toothless pressed his head backwards against mine. "It is fine," he said. "It'll work out. Should we speak now?" He gestured with his nose at the now-enormous crowd of our nestmates lingering on the perches and rooftops.

There were so many dragons that their chattering had become a dull roar, with some actually having to shout to be heard, causing even more dragons to shout. I couldn't even hear the gulls anymore, which was saying something.

I nodded. Toothless raised his head and opened his wings.

A hush descended.

"Nestmates," he began, "As many of you have heard, there have been sightings and reports of Shadow-Blenders for the first time in many turnings of the seasons." The dragons who somehow didn't know gasped and murmured. He waited for the scattered chatter to die down. "Hiccup and I will be traveling to find them, if we can. In our place, we leave the elders to lead together. We trust their judgement, and have told them what to do if there are any emergencies."

"Emergencies?" a cyan, four-legged dragoness gasped. "You expect emergencies?!"

"No, no," I said with a soothing overtone. "We're just being thorough. Very thorough. We will be gone maybe until the spring, and we don't want anyone wondering what we would have them do."

That caused an upstir. The high-pitched rise of anxious, fearful overtones was almost overwhelming.

"My Kings," the tan Flame-Skin called Sandscraper called, "Dragon of the Sun reject this...but what if something happens to you both?"

"We will fly with the human King, who is very invested in our safety," Toothless snorted, drawing even more surprise from our nestmates. "In his place, a young female will act as temporary Queen. You all must know her by now: Astrid, companion of Stormfly."

"I know her!" cried a familiar voice: Hookfang.

He said nothing more.

I tried and failed to suppress a smile at his innocent exclamation.

"I know her, too," came another voice I knew: Noodles, the one-winged Little-Biter. He had climbed up one of the wooden perches to join our nestmates. "She is the one who helped bond us all to the humans in the very beginning. She is smart and cares very much for the peace."

A few dragons called out their agreement and recognition of her. Apparently, Astrid had a reputation among our nestmates, one that nobody had really noticed until just now.

"Follow her commands as you would those of the human King," Toothless said. "And use your best judgement when neither Queen nor elders are there for you. We trust you all to uphold peace and protect our nest. Our stores for the winters are full and our territory is well-guarded. We leave knowing that we have prepared our nest for what struggles the winter will bring. Still, do not be complacent."

So, of course, that was the moment the ocean exploded.

The sun blotted out. A fine spray of water dappled the whole island.

"HELLO!" the young King greeted every single dragon, human, and living thing for miles. My eardrums shook at the sheer volume of his bellow. He rose higher up on his haunches and rested his paws against the cliffs of Berk, grinning with delight.

To their credit, our nestmates had been held in such rapt attention that they all simply froze, digging claws into their perches and staring upwards at the young King with wide eyes.

I took a moment to take in a deep breath and try to calm my racing heart. "That's all," I told our still-shocked nestmates. "We will miss you all, and we can't wait to hopefully return with stories of other Shadow-Blenders. Be safe, everyone!"

"Understood!" many cried. In a dazzling array of colors, dozens of our nestmates lifted their wings and took flight. Others settled into their perches, grumbling about the young King's appearance causing such a fright.

I peeked over the perch and let out a relieved sigh. Snotlout was still there, fumbling to put away a dagger he'd drawn. Now that I looked, most of the Vikings were forcibly calming themselves down and putting their weapons away.

My eye caught the bone-jarring flash of light on a sword, and my heart leapt into my throat.

"Hiccup?" Toothless asked.

I tore my eyes back to Snotlout, who-thank the Dragon of the Sun-had put his dagger away. "It is fine," I said, reassuring us both. "C'mon, let's go talk to him. I have a feeling the King will take...awhile."

"Maybe not," Toothless said, pointing upwards.

A sky-blue glitter darted towards the young King. Stormfly and Astrid rose to his eye level. From behind his enormous crest, two other dragons appeared. One, the four-legged, broad-winged Color-Shifter named Anatoli, with Eret in the saddle. At their side flew his mate, the Four-Wing, who had still not accepted a name yet.

"We should probably be up there," I said guiltily.

"Oh? We can go..." Toothless said, always eager to avoid an awkward conversation.

"No," I said. "He waited for us. Let's go."

We glided down to meet him just as Hookfang did the same. Snotlout lifted a hand to Hookfang's snout with a small grin. He turned to us and his expression hardened.

"...hey, Snotlout," I began. "Do you want to talk about the other day?"

He huffed and crossed his arms, his entire posture screaming defensiveness. "Astrid already yelled at me a bunch over it, if that's what you want to do."

I frowned. "I'm not going to yell at you, Snotlout," I said. "I want to talk with you."

"And you certainly have plenty of things to apologize for," Toothless growled.

"I don't need your sass right now," he said, shoving a finger right in Toothless' face.

A shock of anger rushed through my chest. "Snotlout!" I snapped. I closed my eyes and took a breath. "Look," I said, "I'll be honest. The way you acted the other day was unfair, and I think you know it." I met his eyes. "Getting angry about being held accountable is very frustrating, for everyone."

Snotlout screwed his face up, turning to Hookfang. "Well, I'm sorry," he snipped. "There. You got your apology." Hookfang lowered his head for him, and he grabbed one of his horns and swung up into the saddle.

"Wow. So sincere," Toothless said. He half-opened his wings, a clear signal that Snotlout wouldn't be able to just fly away from the conversation.

"Snotlout," I said, trying to keep the angry heat building in my chest to a simmer. "Why are you acting like this? Why are you taking this out on me?"

"Because it's your fault!" Snotlout shouted, throwing his arms up. Hookfang flinched, and he immediately drooped his hands to his head and rubbed him between the eyes.

I reared my head back. I could practically feel invisible ears stick straight up. "My fault?" I repeated.

"What are you even-" Toothless began to hiss.

"Oh, don't even try to act so surprised!" Snotlout said, his face reddening.

But beneath all of that anger was something else.

For years, I had spoken with our nestmates, learning to detect the slightest hint of emotion in overtones. They were incredibly subtle, making them one of the most difficult parts of learning Dragonese. More importantly, it made me very good at listening beneath the surface.

Which meant that when humans spoke, which was always without layering their sounds together, emotions they tried to hide rang clear as bells in my ears.

The anger was just a hasty cover. Beneath it sang hurt. Fear. Sadness.

"Everyone knows Astrid is only where she is because of you!" Snotlout cried. "And because you two are best buddies now, of course Astrid gets to be the important one, and I don't even have a chance! I can't even try to do important things, like you say I should, because none of you think I can! And meanwhile, you get to just turn into a dragon and frolic off with all your dragon buddies, and leave the rest of us behind to pick up your slack!"

And there it is, I thought with humorless sarcasm, even as a pit opened up in my stomach. The real problem. The one I had suspected. The one I had feared.

"Hiccup returning to his dragon self? That's the problem? That's what this is about?" Toothless snarled.

A growl began to rise in my own throat. I clamped it down. "I'm not going to 'frolic off' when I become a dragon," I said, my voice low. I struggled not to raise my lip to show teeth. "Why would you even think that I would?"

"Because dragons don't need to do all the stuff we do!" Snotlout said, exasperated. "They don't need to store food! They don't need to trade and keep up with politics! They don't need to build things! When you become a dragon, all of these things you're responsible for will go right to the next person. And that person should be me, not Astrid!"

At that, I actually had to take a moment to center myself, breathing in and out, in and out. Toothless vibrated with a dangerous growl beneath me.

"First of all," I began, "dragons do need to do all those things, because humans and dragons live together, and we share all of our duties. Together. They don't just laze around and-and-frolic. Second of all, you know full well that the whole reason I'm working on this," I tore the Book of Dragonese out of one of the pockets on my flightsuit and brandished it to him like a shield, "is so that I can keep my responsibilities as a dragon."

Snotlout's shoulders crept up and he pressed his lips into a tight line. "So you get to be the King of dragons, and Astrid gets to be the Chief, and I get to be nothing."

"Once again, I fail to see how this is Hiccup's fault," Toothless said. I was so caught up in my own hurt that I translated without a second thought, adding sarcastic emphasis and all.

Snotlout gave a bitter laugh. "Oh, right, right. I forgot. I'm supposed to do something important to be important. Too bad I can't just turn into a literal-gods-blessed dragon King or be the dragon King's strategy buddy. Too bad I'm so awful that Uncle Stoick would rather break our family's line of Chiefs, dating back to the founding of Berk, than give me even one chance. Too bad that means I'm worthless."

The pure self-loathing roiling beneath his anger hit a note within me, like a tuning fork against a glass. It was enough for me to try to push back my anger. But it was no use; too much had been said for me to simply let it go, wave it off as "Snotlout being Snotlout", like always. Toothless rumbled with a growl, and it vibrated up through my body and met my own, amplifying it, adding fuel to the fire in my heart. I clenched my hands into tight fists, my upper lip lifting.

"Snotlout," I ground out between gritted teeth, "I understand that you feel that Dad has treated you unfairly. I can see how his behavior has made you feel that way. But this?" I gestured broadly between the two of us. "This is wrong. This is unfair. I'm not here for you to take all that out on, or for you to act like our nestmates are lazy or unimportant, or to imply that I would just-just abandon everyone once I'm a dragon!"

He had enough grace to look away. It was brief, but enough for me to take another calming breath.

Get it together, Hiccup, I scolded myself. Getting angry back at him will make things worse.

I waited for him to look back at me and forced my tone into something less low and dangerous. "What Toothless said to you the other day was harsh, and he's sorry."

That was a blatant lie, but Toothless had sense enough to not immediately protest.

"But I have nothing to do with the line of succession," I went on, refusing to look away from his leering, pained eyes. "And if you want to be the Chief so bad, then you should show my Dad that you're capable of it, just like Astrid has. That is why he's putting her in charge while we're gone. She works harder than all of us, even me and Toothless, without being asked to. She does it because she wants to make things better for everyone. And my Dad respects that more than anything."

"And what have you done?" Toothless couldn't resist biting in.

I chose not to translate that. From Snotlout's expression, I knew I didn't need to; he had come to the very same conclusion himself.

The fury flew out of him like a flock of birds springing away from some fright. He drooped, the strength seeming to sap from him, and averted his eyes. He clenched his hands around Hookfang's horns so tight they turned white, but I could still see that they were shaking.

Now guilt began to creep up on me. He'd gone out of line. I understood, rationally, that he was lashing out, that he didn't do it just to be hurtful or to spit accusations left and right. I also understood my own right to being treated with respect.

But clearly this was the result of months, possibly years, of being brushed aside. I'd been a part of that. I'd tip-toed around the problem and even thought that our "not-so-secret looks", as Snotlout called them, were actually...well, secret. Because he was right on one thing: he was treated as not capable, especially by Dad, Astrid, and Toothless. I hoped-Dragoness of the Moon, I hoped-that I hadn't been someone to do it to him, too.

The realization sent a stone of cold dread sinking in my gut. Snotlout-arrogant, overconfident, self-absorbed Snotlout-had just flat-out said that he felt worthless.

I knew that emptiness more than anything.

All my anger snuffed out. "I don't know how to fix this," I said, exhausted down to my bones. "But you are important, Snotlout. I mean it. And I'm so sorry we made you feel like you aren't."

He shrugged. "Whatever," he muttered. He leaned away, guiding Hookfang's head skywards. "C'mon, Hookie."

"Are you seriously-" Toothless began, outraged. I pressed a hand to his forehead and he stopped.

With one last wide-eyed look at us, Hookfang lifted his wings and fluttered into the air. The dragons and Vikings who had all been eavesdropping avoided the two, pretending to be intensely interested in whatever was directly in front of them.

He just needed time to cool down. That had to be it. Then he would at least be calm enough for us to knock some sense into him, and we could fix this whole...giant mess.

Or, at least, I hoped, watching as Hookfang veered away from the King, Astrid, and Stormfly. He dipped his wing to the cliff updrafts and soared high above Berk, until he was nothing more than speck on the winds.

o.O.o

By the time we reached the cliffs, Dad had joined Astrid to help with the damage control. They stood at the docks nestled on the shore, far below us.

Apparently, not all the ships had been moved successfully, and quite a few had been knocked around. They stood with Eret, Anatoli, and Anatoli's mate, while Stormfly hovered at the young King's eye level and chatted about her day with him.

Toothless swooped low, close enough for a glide. I could really, really use that.

For once, Toothless didn't yelp an objection when I suddenly flung myself from his back and snapped my wings and fins open. He merely glanced over at me, meeting my eyes. Our link sparked to life.

It'll be okay, he told me, more through emotions, half-formed thoughts, and memory-images than actual words. You know how he is. He angled himself just close enough to brush his wingtip against mine. His confidence and reassurance swelled around me. I'll even apologize for real, if that helps.

I gave him a half-hearted smile. Thank you.

With that, we had to break our link-or deal with the consequences of not watching where we were flying. I led us in a slow, spiraling descent and took in a deep draw of the cleansing, wild sea-winds. The air danced across my wings, brushing against the scales of my flightsuit. The weightlessness of flight always lifted my heart and mind out of any darkness, and it worked its charm. I couldn't help but close my eyes for a moment, my smile widening a little, and let the winds guide me in gentle dips and sways.

The flight was too short, like always. We neared enough to land, and I threw my legs down like a tail, dragging the base-fins sprouting from my hips and the tailtip-fins from my ankles against the wind. The wind scolded me for fighting it, tugging and pulling like a solid thing. I grit my teeth and kept my wings stretched out against it. Once I reached a speed where I wouldn't tumble straight into the ocean, I folded my wings to my sides and let myself drop. The ground rushed up and pounded against my feet, and I took several steps forward to bleed off my momentum...taking me right into the circle of people. Toothless fluttered to a near-silent landing just at my side.

Eret's back had been turned to Toothless and me. He turned at the sound of someone landing and nearly leapt away when he saw me standing right next to him. "Ah!" he cried, drawing snickers from Astrid, Haugaeldr, and the other two dragons. He flattened his brow at me. "A little warning next time would be pleasant."

Dad laughed and clapped me on the back. "Well, where's the fun in that?"

"Hello, Kings!" Anatoli chirped, dropping into the strange bow of his nest. He lowered his head to the ground and planted one forefoot far out, the other behind, and stretched his wings against the ground. His mate, the Four-Wing, did the same.

"Hello," Toothless and I said, bobbing our heads in turn.

"Good timing, Hiccup," Astrid said. "Eret was just giving report from his men's patrols."

"Right!" Eret said, as if just remembering he was doing that. "Well, I'm glad to say: there's news, for once."

"Shadow-Blenders?" Toothless asked hopefully. Anatoli and his mate both perked up and shared a glance between each other.

"Drago's pirates have all but given up on our dragons now, especially with 'ole Tempy here eager to save the day." He nodded backwards to the young King, who was still enraptured by whatever Stormfly was saying to him. "They seem to be moving south, away from our waters."

"Good riddance," Dad said. "But we musn't let our guard down."

Toothless, however, drooped. "Oh...I thought, maybe…"

Eret lifted a brow. "Well, don't get too excited, o bringers of peace."

"It's not that," I said, pressing my side against Toothless'. "We've heard some news of Shadow-uh, Night Furies, so it seemed you had something to say about them, too."

Eret's eyes widened. "Night Furies?" he repeated. "I thought they were all gone."

"As did we," Anatoli added, nodding the human way for Eret's benefit.

"Er, condolences, Kings," the Four-Wing said awkwardly, lowering his head.

Toothless' eyes flicked between them, his pupils thinning. "Why do you all say that?"

After I translated, Eret grimaced. "It's been said for awhile now that they were hunted to extinction."

"By Grimmel the Ghastly?" Astrid pried.

Eret's head snapped up. "Where'd you hear that name?"

"From Trader Johann," Astrid said. "You actually just missed him. He had news of Night Furies being spotted in the southwest, as well as Grimmel the Ghastly being sighted in some of the warring countries on the southern continent."

"Damn," Eret said. "He sells the best ale...well, we can probably track him down, ey big fella?" He patted Anatoli.

"Yes, we shall feed your dependence," Anatoli said with a roll of his eyes. "But only if I can have some as well."

"But," Eret said, his humored expression hardening, "if Grimmel's been sighted nearby-and I count even somewhere as far as that 'nearby'-then I'd be extra cautious with all your flying around. He's a bad sort. He's very good at what he does, and he makes a twisted game of it."

"He didn't really...he couldn't wipe them all out," I said. "Right?"

Eret's grave look did nothing to help my already-dampened mood. "Well…" he began. He sighed. "I'll be straight with you, lad. There's something about my past I've never told you. After gettin' to know you, I felt like it would drive conflict between us, and...frankly, with everything I know now,'' he gestured at Anatoli, the Four-Wing, and the young King, "I'm ashamed."

"You worked with Grimmel," Dad guessed. Toothless and I stiffened.

Eret nodded, looking somewhat relieved he didn't have to say it. "When I was only a boy, younger than you," he nodded to me, "I lived on the mainland. Dragons are nearly fairy-tales down there; entire generations go by without seein' 'em. A couple of Furies took to nesting in the mountains near my village. We lost dozens of animals to them, and even more men from trying to chase them out. Nobody knew what to do. Some people even thought they were sent by the gods to punish us. For a year or so, we starved, listening to the beasts plunder our village night after night, completely helpless to stop them. Then, one day, Grimmel waltzed right into our village."

A wry grin split across his lips. "He was a sight for sore eyes, then. Looked thin as a fishbone, but seemed to carry the power of the mountains at his heels. He had dragons of his own, you see-Deathgrippers, they're called, big gnarly beasts with a poisonous sting and bite. He'd somehow heard of our...problem...and come to fix it. And…"

The nostalgia creeped off of his face. He looked directly at my brother.

Toothless was frozen to the spot, pupils mere slits, staring unblinking at him.

"Oh, I'm sorry, lad," Eret sighed. "I won't sugar-coat it for you. Grimmel killed those dragons in their nest, and he led a whole party with him to prove he could."

A shudder went through Toothless and then jumped into my own body. We curled closer to each other.

"How...how many?" Toothless asked, his voice barely above a weak whisper.

"Four," Eret said after I'd translated. His words struck like a dragon swooping at high speed above, snapping the neck of whatever prey it had dove upon. "A nesting mother as well as three adults. A few eggs, too." He hung his head. "I'm ashamed now to say I was dazzled. I begged to go with Grimmel, and he accepted, bringing me into his ranks. I was a scout for a long time, hell-bent on finding news on the beasts before anyone else. Then I graduated to be part of his trading crews. I eventually rose up through the ranks to be part of his hunting teams. He mostly worked on his own, but with all his Deathgrippers and equipment, he needed people to help tend to everything.

"Over time, sightings became fewer and less reliable. People would jump at a shadow on the mountain and scream 'Night Furies!'. I began to worry that Grimmel would thin out his teams, and me with them, but he tended to all of us, wasting resources into keeping all of his people fed and housed. He would encourage us that this was the thrill of the hunt, that our prey had gone into hiding, and that all we had to do was smoke 'em out.

"I was there when we finally found more Furies outside the southern mountains. We downed one on the outskirts of a village, after it had set nearly all their crop fields aflame trying to get away."

"Were they…" Toothless breathed. He couldn't finish the thought.

Eret glanced at my stricken brother, the shining light in his eyes dimmed. "There was a dragoness there with a yearling. The yearling got away, but the dragoness perished. We were north enough then that we had heard about Drago by then...and he had heard of us. After that hunt, he sought out and tried to recruit Grimmel, but the man wouldn't budge. He'd do nothing with a slaver, he said. He hates slavers. Sent his Deathgrippers on 'em at every chance he got, but only after he got what he wanted from 'em. Drago persisted and threatened us, and at the time, his forces were far larger than ours. Grimmel decided to distract him. He buttered him right up with flattery, gifts, even a Night Fury pelt, and a hint that he heard about more Furies to the east."

His shoulders sunk. "Drago saw some use in hunters who could take down a Night Fury. Before he went on his wild goose chase, he offered me a ship of my own to command, with my very own crew and all. It was an offer I couldn't refuse. Or so I thought, at least. So that's...how I ended up with the likes of him."

I barely heard the conclusion to his story. "It is fine," I murmured, leaning against Toothless, who seemed only able to stand with my weight to support him. "It is fine...it is fine…"

Toothless' eyes were far away. "So...this human…"

A light weight pressed on my shoulder-Dad. He put his other hand on Toothless' head. "We can always stay here," he told us. "If this is too much…"

"Stay?" Eret repeated. "You don't mean you still mean to leave after hearin' all that?!"

"We do."

Toothless' snarl mangled his voice, his overtone so choked with hurt and fear that even I struggled to understand him. Anatoli and the Four-Wing shied away.

"We will go. We will find the others who are left and keep them safe." His eyes burned. He lifted his head and opened his wings to the horizon, as if issuing a challenge for all the world to hear. "And if that creature crosses our path...I will bring the power of the gods Themselves upon him to avenge my mother."