Hello, everyone!
This chapter is one of my favorites, so I wanted to post it fairly soon!
I'd like to thank NightfuryDreemurr, Viperclaw14, CallMeUrmo, picothea, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah, MysteryWriter175, JustAnotherRandomPoster for all of your reviews!
I'd also like to thank Crysist, Dragon Crusader, ReclusiveShadows, Anticept, and kwizjunior for your help with betaing!
I hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 16
Saw Through Closed Eyes
The Shell was dappled in the light of the stars, moon, and crystals when I swept into the cave behind the waterfall. Before I even shook the chilly water from my scales, I leaned down and nosed the nameless male awake.
"Get up," I whispered, even though nobody else was in this uncomfortable nest.
"Huh?" he mumbled. "I'm sleeping."
"Come on," I said. I planted my feet, stood over him, and shook my body from nose to tailtip, showering him with droplets.
"Ugh!" he protested, snapping amber eyes open and sitting upright. He wrinkled his nose at me, did a double take, and then gaped. "Wait, Saw Through Closed Eyes?!"
I smiled, my heart racing in my chest. I felt like I was doing something wrong, even though I knew I wasn't. "Do you want to try again tonight?"
He leapt to his feet. "Yes! Yes!" He ran a tight circle around my body and then stopped short in front of me. "I forgot you can escort me now!"
I hadn't. But Escaped the Monster's advice to me so many days ago still rung in my ears. "Do you want to try patrolling?" I asked, hoping with all of my heart that he would say yes. If we patrolled, we were unlikely to see the banished. If we went into the Shell, however…
"Yes!" he cheered. "And, can we...can we please go out just a little further? I feel like we barely go past the Shell at all."
With a roll of my eyes, I chuckled, "Alright, alright. Let's go."
He needed no further prompting. Wiggling his rump, he gathered his legs and leapt into the air, blasting through the waterfall and into the sky. I had to nearly chase after him just to keep up.
We rose above the slumbering Shell beneath the mask of the night. I let the nameless male take the lead, keeping sure to follow him with sight-sounds. His dark scales let him blend straight into the darkness, except for the occasional brilliant flash of orange from his iridescent neck scales.
"This is so exciting!" he said, twirling with excitement. "Killed the Sea Serpent got her name on patrol responsibility. And she must have been further out than she usually takes us. I want a name as fierce as hers! And you can only do that on patrol!"
"Even though it's usually so boring?" I couldn't help but laugh.
He scoffed. "Maybe for you. But I love to fly, to see how high up I can go and chase the clouds. I swear, one day, I'll catch the moon. And, oh, when we can watch the sunset and sunrise and see the sky change...I just love it!"
"I don't," I said simply, blinking my blind eyes at him pointedly. He laughed sheepishly.
"Do you think we'll see any of our other flockmates?" he asked. "They won't keep us from going further out, will they?"
"They...shouldn't," I said. It was still hard to remember that as a named dragon, I could do anything they could—including escorting a nameless. "But I'm sure they'd see me, at least."
"Yeah, your scales are nearly glowing in the moonlight," he observed. "Bad for hunting at night."
"Luckily, I usually try to sleep at night," I said, drawing a light chuckle from him.
"I really appreciate this, Saw Through Closed Eyes," he said, leaning over and bumping his wingtip against mine. "Especially since you're giving up your sleep for it."
"Of course," I said, giving him a smile. "You're my friend."
He puffed up. "Well, then let's go!" he exclaimed. "Who knows what we'll find out there! A whale? A giant shark? Maybe even a sea serpent, or an Outsider!"
"First ones watch us, I hope not," I said. He laughed, even though my prayer was serious.
We shot off into the night, weaving between blue clouds, riding the ocean-winds and smelling the tang of salt.
I could taste the zing of lightning on the air. The fresh scent of a storm came from the west. I squinted in that direction, nervous of being caught in a galestrom. All I saw was the black of the night. "Do you see a storm?" I called.
"Barely," the nameless male said. "It's very far away, though; it'll probably stay over there. I see stuff like that all the time."
At that very moment, a frigid wind blasted us from the west.
I turned to the nameless male, eyelids flattened.
"Wait!" he interrupted me. "I promise, I'll tell you if it starts to come closer. Can't we just keep an eye on it?"
"Do you promise?" I asked, a little exasperated.
"I swear to the first ones!" he proclaimed.
I couldn't even hear the thunder of the storm, so I supposed that meant it was far away. Still, I rustled my wings uneasily. "I'll hold you to that," I said.
The Shell's looming form dipped into the ocean behind us, though I made sure to look over my shoulder and check that I could still spot its opalescent glow. The waterfalls guarding it kicked up a fog, blurring it further and further out of sight.
"You can still see home, right?" I asked nervously, when I checked again and saw only a slightly lighter smudge than the other smudges that were clouds.
He swerved as he looked over his shoulder. "Yes," he said. His voice tinged with guilt. "Are you...do you want to turn back?"
"As long as you can see home, and keep track of the storm, we're fine," I stammered, though I couldn't hold down the tight squeeze in my chest. I had never flown so far outside the Shell...and alone?
But I wasn't alone, I reminded myself. The nameless male was here, and he was my friend.
He paused. "How about we start patrolling here, then!" he said.
"Okay," I breathed in relief. We drew up into a hover, no longer flying away from the Shell. "You lead the way."
To my surprise, he ducked down. I followed him, sight-sounding through the wispy clouds that fluttered at my scales. Below, the bright expanse of smudges faded into a deep black, as if we were flying straight up into the night.
"I can't see anything interesting above the clouds," he explained to me, no doubt seeing my confusion. "Now we can keep a watch out!"
"I'm sure my sight-sounds will help," I said lightly. "At least that means that if we find anything, it will all be because of you."
"You think so?" he said, drawing himself up with pride. "Let's go!"
He took us in a wide curve, keeping the Shell as our centerpoint. We skimmed just below the clouds, leaving a trailing path in them behind us. I made sure to stay close behind. Though I couldn't see anything, I did try to look for anything interesting.
It felt like ages had gone by when I finally grew bored enough to ask, "Do you see anything yet?"
"Not yet!" he called back. "But I'm sure that—wait!"
He drew up into a hover. I scrambled to a stop, barely keeping myself from flying straight into him.
"What?" I asked.
"Out there," he breathed, pointing with his nose. "There's something...glowing out there."
Facing where he pointed, I squinted my eyes nearly closed, nose wrinkling with the effort. If I tried hard enough, almost enough to bring a headache on, there was something small and white far into the deep navy blue, floating like a star…
"Let's go see what it is!" the nameless male cried. Before I could even gasp out a protest, he sped away, flying as fast as he could.
With nothing else I could do, I raced after him. "What is it?" I called.
"I don't know!" he panted, voice high with excitement. "I've never seen something like this before!"
"What does it look like?" I amended, trying to withhold the bemusement from my tone.
"It's really big!" he said. "It's got this huge white thing on it, reflecting the light. And it's…" he squinted. "It's...floating?"
With our mad flight towards it, we were close enough for me to actually see the glowing white thing he described. I tucked my wings and swooped just low enough to sight-sound at it, then snapped back above.
"What in the world?" I breathed.
It was enormous and...and...wrong. All sharp edges. It smelled predominantly of the storm, and seemed to be moving eastwards, away from it. Beneath that was an unearthly, bloody-sharp sting-smell I didn't recognize. Its movements were stiff and listless like a dead thing, but it was not, because it spoke. It moaned in an emotionless, hollow voice, too deep for me to understand. The huge white...wings?...sprouting from its midsection fluttered limply in the wind. They had been shredded, and bits of them flapped in the wind.
This drew a sympathetic grimace from me. "Is it a...sea serpent?" I whispered to the nameless male. "Hurt, somehow?"
"I don't see its head," he murmured, just as baffled. "Or eyes, or legs. And why is its tail out of the water like that?"
"A...whale? On its side? Is that a fin?" I asked. To be truthful, I had never actually seen one; only sight-sounded from a distance. They were huge, long, blocky things, like this. But they didn't have wings, and when they sang, I could feel the joy and despair of their stories in my heart. Their movements were slow and graceful, and more than that, purposeful. This…thing…seemed to only be tugged along by the ocean currents.
It moaned again. Light, high-pitched noises came from…somewhere, but they were dampened. I could even make out the steady thumping of footsteps. But it sounded wrong, somehow.
Finally, it came to me: the sounds were coming from inside it. Chills shuddered from my nose to my tailtip.
"I don't like this," I said, flapping away to gain altitude. "Let's get away from it."
"But, Saw Through Closed Eyes!" the male complained. "Look at it! I'm sure I can get a name from this!"
"What are you going to do? Hunt it?" I asked. "It looks like it's already dead. And, there's…something inside it! Something's wrong here."
The thing moaned again as a wave caused it to lurch to and fro on the waves. The limp, tattered wings snapped in the wind. I trembled.
Wrong wrong wrong! my every sense screamed. Fly away!
"We're leaving!" I whimpered, throwing my tail down to rise in earnest. The nameless male was a blur to me now, only visible from his iridescent, orange scales when they caught the light. "Get away from it, hurry!"
"But…" the nameless male begged. "But can't we find out something about it?"
SNAP!
I flinched. The nameless male cried out. The sharp whistle of something streaking through the air, and—!
This time, when the nameless male screamed, it was filled with terror. Suddenly the thing was alive, noises coming from every which way, and he fell atop it with a heavy thud, and fires materialized, and even as I dove, I could sight-sound thin sapling-things scurrying along it like so many insects—!
Monsters! They were monsters!
And I took him here!
"Saw Through Closed Eyes!" the nameless male shrieked. "Help! Help! I'm—mmf! Mmf!"
I swept over the thing, sight-sounding as rapidly as I could. The clearer image I obtained sent my heart pounding: dozens, dozens of the monsters, and jaws with teeth, and fires, and claws, and the nameless male, trapped beneath a hole-ridden wing, something wrapped tight around his jaw.
I turned towards the blur of the Shell, so far away, and screamed, "HELP! HELP US!"
SNAP!
I flung myself aside. Something whipped past me.
SNAP!
Another manic dash. This time, the rough texture of whatever it was skimmed just over me, sending a violent shiver through my body.
SNAP!
This time I dove, twisted midair, and snarled. Gathering my fire in my jaws, I spat a magenta flame upon the thing. It exploded in a cloud of shrapnel. The monsters jabbered and yelled. Even as the fire began to bloom, they knew how to stifle it, stamping on it and throwing objects and even generating water onto it.
A sharp whistle.
Pain.
I gave a keening cry as something sharp and deathly-cold embedded itself into my right shoulder. Looking down, I stared in openmouthed horror at the tooth sticking out of me.
Oh, first ones, they really can bite from far away!
It was a lesson I meant to learn only once. I backed away hastily, back towards home, and let loose my loudest roar.
The thing lumbered over the ocean, moaning and creaking. The monsters aboard it sounded like seagulls, cawing and crying in high-pitched voices. And through it all, the nameless male wailed around his bonds, thrashing beneath his bindings.
I waited for them to get closer and swept away again, roaring towards the Shell. They still followed, filled with the bloodlust of the hunt. I flitted away, staying just close enough to keep their attention. Twice more the bone-crunching SNAP! erupted like thunder from them, but these times, I was ready. I sight-sounded the grasping, hole-ridden wing as it soared towards me and twisted away both times. The sharp whistles came with their teeth, and thrice more, I was bitten—but, thankfully, not through my wings or belly.
I just had to keep flying...I just had to keep flying…!
The thing moved deceptively fast. It felt like a lifetime had passed, but only a few minutes later, the Shell was visible once more. I screamed out to the dragons there, hoping that someone, anyone, could hear me.
SNAP!
I lurched to safety.
A sharp whistle—a familiar whistle—tore through the air.
First the blinding flash, then the enormous BOOM!, and Killed the Sea Serpent shrieked, "FLY!"
Relief tore a sob out of my throat. "The—the nameless male!" I cried.
"I see him! Go!" she commanded.
I began to turn to do just that.
So did the thing.
There was a huge rustling sound. Then, another pair of wings, bigger than the torn ones and resting behind them, unfurled. The thing caught the wind and began to sprint away, far faster than something that big should be able to.
"It can't outpace me!" Killed the Sea Serpent raged. "I'll kill them all!"
SNAP!
"DIVE!" I screamed.
The dead wings nearly caught our leader, missing her only a claw-length away. More sharp whistles returned to the air, and she hissed as some teeth bit into her.
And all the while, a fire lurked upon the thing, climbing up and over its perfect-sharp edges despite the monsters' attempts to stop it.
The nameless male was still on it, and Killed the Sea Serpent couldn't keep pace, avoid all of the teeth and dead wings, fight the monsters, and save the nameless male before he burned to death. Not all on her own!
We had to make them stop!
And...and…!
I think I knew how.
I looked back at the Shell. We were still far away. But if I sprinted...
"I'll be back!" I promised. I flipped around, spread my wings, and pushed.
The ocean became smooth below. The clouds blurred into each other. My body hurt where the teeth were still biting me, too ravenous to let go. I raced until my breath left me and then pushed myself to go even faster. Something deep inside my heart seemed to resonate with my panic, and despite it all, I tore across the sky like an aurora, reaching an incredible speed that I had never achieved before.
The Shell came upon me. I dove over its embrace, spiraled over our flock's nesting-grounds, and roared, "HELP!" Flockmates ripped from their nests, crying out in alarm. "West of the Shell! Killed the Sea Serpent is there! Monsters hunted the nameless male!"
They wasted no time. Within a breath, the whole flock screamed into the air. Other dragons who were nearby, roused from my call for help, leapt after them.
But I flew further into the Shell, sight-sounding frantically. Of course it seemed that now, when I needed it most, I couldn't find it. I ducked around pillars and crystals and plateaus, circling around forests and avoiding sting-smell mushrooms until…
There.
The best way to slow a dragon down was to tangle their wings.
I landed on the stone arch, wheezing and trembling and sobbing, and snatched as many hanging vines in my claws as I could. I knew firsthand how effectively they could cripple a dragon. They had opened me up to attack the first day the nameless male and I had ventured into the Shell.
"What do you think you're doing?"
I spun. My heart sank. "Defended the Hatchlings!"
He snarled. "A curse like you should know better than to fly into another flock's territory." He took a step towards me. "We live here now. And now that we aren't flockmates anymore…"
More hisses surrounded me. The banished were gathering.
"Wait!" I heaved, struggling to catch my breath. "The nameless male—captured by monsters—I have to help!"
He threw his head with a snort. "Why should I care about the flock that banished me?"
I stared. "You helped raise him!" I whispered. You helped raise me!, I didn't add.
He lowered his head and said in a low growl, "And he turned his back on me all the same."
Defended the Hatchlings lunged. I scrabbled away—too slow!—and squealed when unsheathed claws raked into my side. My footing failed me and I tumbled into the open air. It was only through sheer luck that when I twisted and snapped my wings open, still gripping the vines, that I did not get tangled myself.
Heart thundering, I clenched my claws around the hanging vines and scrambled. They were behind me, all of them, snarling for my blood—!
—and I had just sent my entire flock away!
Oh, first ones! I prayed as I sight-sounded into the night, swooping past pillars, between trees, through waterfalls, everything I could! Please help me! Please help the nameless male!
A dragon spat fire. It glanced across my upper wing, and I shrieked at the searing pain that shot all the way down my wing-shoulder with hungry claws. The sound of wings snapping shut above—I threw myself aside just as another banished dove straight down, aiming to crush me to death against the ground. All the while, the vines I grasped slowed me down, dragging through the air and catching on things.
I couldn't outmaneuver them like I'd done to earn my name. I had to get back to my flock, to the nameless male, who could be burning alive—!
And they were trying to kill me because they decided I was cursed!
"ENOUGH!" I shrieked. "Leave me ALONE!"
And then, the unthinkable.
I spun around, snapped into a hover, and sent the most powerful fireball I could muster directly into Defended the Hatchlings.
He had been at my tail the entire time. He took the full force of the fireball.
His form simply went limp and plummeted, leaving a smoky trail that smelled of burnt scales and roasted meat. His fellow banished shouted in fear and dismay, and several abandoned their hunt and chased after him, trying to save him from his fall.
Heaving with gasps and sobs both, I twisted away and tore upwards. The banished who had hovered uncertainly growled and began their hunt anew.
Once I was level above the Shell, I angled myself towards the south. There, out in the black, even I could see the dead thing on the water, the fire eating through it. I struggled with the hanging vines, kicking at them with my hind legs until I could grasp most of them in my claws. Then, holding them close to my body with both front and back legs, I finally could fly without drag.
Which was good, because the banished had already caught up to me, shouting their vengeance.
I refused to look over my shoulder. I refused to feel the pain from the teeth that were even now still biting me. I refused to stop and think that I had likely just killed a dragon that I had known my entire life.
My friend needed me.
So I flew.
I couldn't understand how, but somehow, I found the strength in me. It poured from my heart, which thundered in my chest like it meant to escape. Dizziness enveloped me as I charged out of the Shell and over the ocean. I rasped for breath, squinting through the agony. I had to get back. I had promised I would be back!
But the banished were well-rested and uninjured. No amount of hope and need could outpace that simple fact. They gained on me with each wingbeat, their larger wingspans a huge advantage for tests of pure speed.
Please! I begged the first ones, anyone that would listen. Please! Oh, please, please, no!
Up ahead, I could hear shouting and snarling from my flockmates, the jabbering of the monsters, and the deep bone-snap sound of the thing that threw broken wings. It was still blazing, but not as much as before; the monsters had somehow controlled dragon-fire once again. Even now, I heard Killed the Sea Serpent shouting orders not to shoot more fire, unless we wanted the nameless male to burn, too.
Why weren't they rushing them? If I could take a few bites—
There was a flash and a terrible BOOM from the thing. My flockmates scattered, but one of the other dragons flitting about was too slow.
Something...something happened to them. For once, I was thankful that I could not see, because one moment, a dragon was flying, and the next…
...nothing.
The monsters could breathe fire, too.
"Help!" I wheezed, my throat raw, my voice thin. "I'm…here…!"
The banished were almost within striking range. I could nearly feel their breath on my tail. They were coming up on my sides. I knew that they were going to close in at once, dragging me down into the water. I could see them in my periphery, bleak shadows tearing after me.
Wheezing, dizzy, vision filling with spots, I raced to the thing, through the paths of my flockmates, and flung all of the vines onto the wings.
The monsters squawked. My nestmates gasped. I tilted my wings, used my momentum to carry me upwards, and then let myself fall into a glide back over the thing. The banished hadn't followed me directly over, and even now, snarls ripped through the air as my flockmates realized that I had been chased.
I focused my sight-sounds on the thing. It was rocking chaotically, kicking up waves like a frantic fish. The vines plastered to its wings, their sticky sap forcing both pairs to stick and tangle together. Quite a few of the vines had fallen to its back, and I breathed a sigh when I realized that it wasn't for nothing. The monsters were tangled, too.
For one precious moment, they stopped biting at us.
I lunged for the spot that, even now, the nameless male lay trapped under the broken-wing-thing. Several of my flockmates did the same, some charging at the monsters, others coming to my side. Together, we bit at the tangled, broken wing, shaking it like prey in our jaws and clawing at it. The nameless male stared at us, still with something wrapped around his muzzle, eyes enormous with terror.
We broke a big enough hole through that he could lift his head out. I went to him, sniffed the dead-smell of the thing around his jaw, and gagged. As gently as I could, I nipped at it and pulled. He tugged his head back, and for a moment, nothing happened.
With a jolt, the tension gave in, and I stumbled backwards with the dead-smell thing in my mouth. The nameless male took in a huge breath, bent his neck, and began tearing at the hole with his own teeth and claws. I spat the thing out and leapt to help. Together, with our flockmates helping him or guarding us, we managed to get him free enough to wriggle out. With a joy-filled cry, he wasted no time in lifting his wings and racing away.
All of us followed.
Something heavy snapped around my tail, crushing my tailtip-fins in. I wheezed as my body lurched to a stop midair, tearing the breath from my lungs and making my vision spin. I flapped madly, clawing at the air, stuck in place. The monsters below gave a resounding cry and I was pulled!
I heaved weakly as I hit the solid form of the thing. The monsters scurried around me. I leapt to my feet and snapped my wings out, knocking several off their paws. Breathless with terror, I flailed my tail, hopping in circles and struggling to sight-sound what was on me. It was the same material as the broken wings, but it had stones wrapped into it, too. They had tangled all over my tail and led back into the paws of the monsters. They still held it, using it to tug and pull at me, trying to keep me off-balance!
I spun again and spewed fire upon them. The tension at my tail disappeared.
All of this happened within moments of my flockmates fleeing. Only now did they turn, see the struggle, and cry out as they realized that it was not over yet.
A weight rammed onto my shoulders, sending agonizing zings down my back and limbs. I threw my head and nearly froze at the sight.
A monster was on top of me!
"No!" I gasped. I spun in a wild circle, rearing and flapping wildly. More of the rough dead-wings tried to tangle up my tail, and the tension returned. The monster hissed in my ear, clasping to me with its claws, scrabbling at my side-frills with a dead-smell thing in its paw.
More whistles. More of the deep SNAPs. Another fake-dragon-fire BOOM! followed by the acrid stench of sulfuric smoke. My distraction had worked, but the monsters would not stay tangled forever, and we no longer had any more vines.
"No!" I cried again, rearing and bucking, snapping my wings, swinging my tail. I threw myself down and rolled, pressing my weight into the monster. It screamed and crunched beneath my weight, nearly deafening me, and when I hobbled to my feet, there were several more in front of me. They lunged for my neck, grasping with their paws, and when I shot my flame again, one took the hit and the other ducked closer to my neck, trying to wrap a dead-thing around me again!
It threw itself on me and hung on like a parasitic worm, doing all it could to force my jaw shut like they had done the nameless male. All the while, the others went for my tail and wings, while their flockmates guarded them with their biting and broken wings and fake-dragon-fire.
I was so so so tired and hurt but I kept rearing, lashing, biting, flailing! My flockmates shrieked above, desperate, urging me to keep fighting! If only I could just get these things off of me, if only I could fly to them, if only the monsters stopped biting them with dozens of teeth and burning them with their fake fire every time they drew near!
The terror in me turned my whole body numb. ALl that remained was the burning of my heart. My sight-sounds blurred just as much as my vision. My world became nothing but a muddled confusion of monster paws clinging, dead wings dragging, muscles aching and spasming, breath catching and sobbing, heart thundering, dragons screaming.
A monster leapt upon my neck from above, clasped their paws around, and pulled in hard. Immediately I was choking, as though I could only draw in breath through a tiny reed. My vision darkened and my flailing grew haggard, clumsy.
It was strangling me!
And I couldn't get it off!
I didn't want to die!
"NO!" I wailed, and my heart exploded.
A rush of painful tingling roared over my body, electrifying like the spine-tingling feeling in the air just before lightning. The wave poured from my heart over my body, and as it did, the pain and fatigue faded. The staticky wave grasped all the way to my nose and tailtip, leaving my entire being awash with its strange, soothing discomfort.
My flockmates silenced. The monster's hold loosened, and the dead wing slackened.
I threw myself in the air and spun wildly, throwing everything off of me at once. With a heaving gasp, I turned around to check—
Except—
Where—where was—?!
I snapped my head around, spinning like a flightling losing control.
How—where was—what had—?!
My body was gone!
Oh, first ones, was I dead?!
I let out a keening whimper, tumbling about. The dragons flying nearby bolted away, but it filled me with hope—if they heard me, I wasn't dead, I couldn't be dead!
And with that thought, the tingling subsided. Agony and exhaustion descended. I hovered and raked in sob after sob as, impossibly, my body returned to me, gleaming in the moonlight.
I was alive.
I looked up at the others, who all stared slackjawed at me, and caught the familiar orange scales glinting in the light.
The nameless male was alive.
We were safe—oh, thank the first ones, we were safe!
The monsters below began shouting. I flinched away, back towards the safety of my flockmates.
Raced the Auroras was in front of me. Her eyes turned wide with horror and she backpedaled away.
"S-stay back!" she said.
I halted and gaped at her, too breathless from my struggle. Though my entire body ached, I hovered and glanced around.
Everyone was fluttering away from me, up towards the clouds, where we were safe from the monsters.
I followed, tongue heavy and useless, shaking my head stupidly even as more and more of my flockmates, the banished, and other dragons ran away from me.
"She disappeared," someone murmured. "Like she was made of smoke…"
"How did it happen?"
"...brought a curse…"
"No, she used…"
"I think it was…"
"I've seen it before…"
"It can't be…"
"Are you really suggesting…"
And all at once, the damning word was spoken:
"Magic."
"Magic."
"Magic."
"Magic."
My breath shuddered to a stop in my throat. I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, desperately trying to knock sense back into myself. "No," I croaked, and my throat stung as I spoke, "no, it wasn't—I didn't—I don't even know how…"
I cast my eyes and sight-sounds about. Everyone, everyone, was several wing-lengths away. Fear-scent cloyed in the air, thick on my tongue.
"Please," I whispered. "I didn't mean to. Please believe me."
They were all silent.
"Alright, everyone," Killed the Sea Serpent broke the tension. Her voice was toneless. "We're flying back."
A banished rounded on her. "You can't mean to bring that—"
She lunged forward and raked the banished across the eye and nose with her claws. The stench of dragon-blood wafted past. The banished—Hunted a Whale—squealed and flew away.
Killed the Sea Serpent turned back to us all. Her eyes were aflame.
"We. Are. Flying. Back."
o.O.o
The moon was setting when we landed in our grove with the lake. The banished and other dragons followed us. I watched with a heavy heart as some flitted away, off to tell the news.
I stood in the center of our flock, but everyone inched away from me. Killed the Sea Serpent sat with her back to me, hunched over so low that her nose nearly touched the ground. The nameless male was at her side, shooting looks between her and me.
My mouth was so dry. I was shaking and exhausted. I cowered against the ground. "I—" I stammered. "I didn't mean to. I didn't even know I could. Please…"
"You used magic!" one of the banished exploded.
"It's not true!" the nameless male cried, leaping to his feet. He turned to me, desperate, and begged, "Please, tell them it's not true!"
All eyes turned to me.
"I don't know what it was," I lied. Or maybe, I thought, it was a prayer, that it wasn't what we all knew to be true.
Because it was obvious to everyone what had happened.
"Just as the sun and moon disappeared into nothing that day, so did she," a banished snarled. "She did cause it! She is a curse! And now, Defended the Hatchlings is dead because of—of—that thing!"
He threw himself at me, howling with rage and bloodlust. I curled away. Despite their fear, several of my flockmates closed in and swatted him back.
I took in a shaky breath and dropped my head. Through it all, Killed the Sea Serpent didn't move, as if she had transformed into a tree, impassive and frozen, rooted to ground forever.
"No," I whimpered. "No, no, no…"
Magic was evil, unnatural, wicked. Magic killed the first ones. Magic was used by treasonous Outsiders to try to break into the Shell.
If I had really used it, what did that make me?
But what else could cause a dragon to disappear from the world?
"It was magic."
Killed the Sea Serpent's voice was hollow.
"I have seen Outsiders use the very same spell."
My flockmates shuffled further away. I stared at my leader and friend.
The nameless male reeked of fear-scent. He backed away.
It was enough. The strange numbness of my mind broke, and I dissolved into confused, helpless despair. "No!" I pleaded. "I—I don't—know how or why—it happened!"
He was too far away for me to read his expression. He inched another step back, ears pinned, tail and wings drooping, and lowered his head.
Killed the Sea Serpent got to her feet. Slowly, achingly, she shifted around to face me, still bent over as if grieving a loved one. She settled her golden eyes on mine.
"You must go."
I shook my head, heaving. "It was—it was—an accident! I promise, I'll never—"
"Magic is what has brought destruction to the Shell over the generations," she said, her tone empty of emotion. "Our storytellers have countless lessons to teach us about this."
"Please," I choked. "Please, don't…"
Her face screwed with despair and hurt. "Saw Through Closed Eyes," she said, her voice strained as though the words were strangling her, "please don't make me force you."
"But I thought—" I gasped, "I thought—I was part—of the flock…"
"Just as the giants were cast out from the Shell for using magic," she whispered, "so must you."
My head spun. No matter how hard I drew in breath, my lungs were starved for air, screaming as if I were drowning Under. My body rattled like prey being shaken to death.
"Please," Killed the Sea Serpent hissed under her breath. "If you stay, they will kill you!"
She swept her eyes about urgently. For the first time, I lifted my head and sight-sounded around me.
Dozens. Dozens of dragons had gathered.
"What are you waiting for?!" a dragon cried. "Are you not fit to lead?"
This broke the tension holding claws to everyone's throats. Dragons began screaming at each other, frantic and furious, repulsed and ravenous.
"She used magic! She is an Outsider!"
"She is a curse!"
"She brings the fake gods to our Shell! She betrays us all!"
"Kill her!"
"Kill her!"
Through the chaos, I looked past Killed the Sea Serpent and met the eyes of the nameless male.
"You...used magic…" he breathed. "You once taught me...as a swimling…how it is only used to hurt others…"
I could only shake my head, frozen where I was.
"Why?" the nameless male said, his voice taught with sorrow and betrayal. "Is this why you're so different?"
The words tore at my heart. "No," I gasped. But now I wasn't so sure.
"Killed the Sea Serpent!" a dragon roared. "I am a leader of my species, Breathed White Fire! If you do not kill the Outsider, then I see you as a traitor to the Shell, and will command my flock to fight yours!"
My leader stiffened.
Other leaders voiced their assent, claiming that they, too, would pour upon my flockmates.
Killed the Sea Serpent looked into me and whimpered, "Oh, Saw Through Closed Eyes...I am so, so sorry." She finally lifted her head and raised her wings. "Flockmates," she announced, "it is with great sorrow in my heart that I give this command." She set tearful eyes on me. "We must banish this dragon who has dared to use magic, the power of the false gods who murdered the first ones and cursed all of the world except our Shell."
She looked around at my—at her flockmates. They began to creep towards me.
Even the nameless male.
"Go, Saw Through Closed Eyes," Killed the Sea Serpent begged.
I wept.
"Go!"
The nameless male looked around. He took in a shuddering breath.
He stepped forward.
"I'll...I'll drive you from the Shell myself," he announced, his voice shaking just as much as mine. "I'll do it, because you were my friend."
Were.
"Please…"
The nameless male struck forward. I yelped, scrambling away, and he continued his pursuit. He didn't let out a single hiss nor snarl, and his eyes, his eyes, they were full of so much hurt and confusion, as he stared at me and begged why, why, why why?!
I didn't know!
"Go!" he shrieked. He lunged again, and this time, his claws raked across my neck. He drew back faster than I did, eyes wide with shock and apology, and then grit his teeth. "GO!" he wailed. He threw himself forward, striking me again—this time deep, deep across my snout—and barrelled into me with his bigger weight.
My body moved on its own accord. Distantly, I felt the pain of the embedded monster-teeth, the ache of my muscles, the sting of the fresh wounds. My body felt far away, like someone else was centering my paws, digging my claws into the soft grass, opening my wings. That last moment in which I took in the mass of color and hatred and fire and fear-scent and smoke-smell seemed to belong to that other, that numb thing that swept over me and choked me from within.
I flung myself in the air. The uproar of dozens of dragons taking flight followed.
Even as my body strained past its limits, driven by the raw need to survive, my mind receded. The snarls and jeers and calls for my blood dampened, the way a great forest presses in and commands silence. The otherwise-terrifying scorch of flames blasting past my tail and back faded into a chill touch. Even the ache of my heart, vibrant and alive in its betrayal, could not pierce the fog that smothered.
This...was actually happening.
The opalescent Shell ducked below. Dragons cried out in victory.
This...was real.
I pulled into a hover, looking back in a daze.
Was this truly the last time I would see the Shell?
The nameless male crashed into me.
We fell.
The blessed shroud evaporated. All at once, I was snapped back into this nightmare, no matter how much I wanted to stay a stunned observer.
The nameless male grasped me in his claws, pulling me in close. I writhed, fearing that he would strike at my soft underbelly with his hind claws, rending me open.
The wind whipped past. We tumbled through the air, tails flailing and wings buffeting in the wind, and through it all, the nameless male pulled his heart to mine, so that I could feel it hammering against my chest in tandem with my own.
"Saw Through Closed Eyes," he whispered, his voice thick with anguish. He buried his nose into my neck like a swimling seeking comfort. "Survive!"
He held me a precious moment more and pulled back just enough to meet my eyes. His swam with so much confusion and hurt, so many things gone unsaid.
I would never know his name.
He broke the embrace, pulling away, tightening his claws, and throwing me further down. I barely caught sight of him snapping his wings open and swooping away before I crashed into the frigid, churning waters of the ocean.
I sunk into the depths. Felt the strength seep from my body, oozing away like blood in water. Closed my eyes to the moon above.
It seemed like a lifetime ago I heard the stories of the giants leaving the Shell, and thought it a fate worse than death.
Did I not deserve it, after using magic?
I braced myself to inhale the water, to bring the final, fading note of this sad story to its end. There was nothing for me now, when I had already had so little. Maybe the first ones would be merciful. Maybe they would forgive me. Or, maybe, I would simply fade into nothing.
I didn't mind that so much, either.
Survive.
I cracked my eyes open. The surface was already far above. The moon blinked as dragons crossed its path.
But what is there left to live for? I wanted to ask him. I clung to the memory of his heart thundering against mine, the warmth of another's embrace that I would never find again.
It was...a good last thought.
I closed my eyes again.
And then, traitorously, an image came unbidden to my mind: the sorrow of the nameless male and Killed the Sea Serpent if they were ever to discover this. If they were ever to find remains, be it bone or body, and know that I never broke the ocean's surface after they had last seen me fall.
Survive!
My throat clenched with an involuntary sob. Reluctantly, painfully, I found enough air in me to sight-sound. The great belly of the ocean opened up before me, spotted with the occasional rock or fish.
My limbs burned and my lungs begged for air. I steadied myself, finding my center, even as every movement tore open scarcely-scabbed over wounds.
I didn't want to. The pressure of the ocean began to pound against me, as if the great water realized I wouldn't welcome it into me yet.
But he had given me kindness in those last moments, even as he drove me out. Even as he, too, hurt deep in his heart.
Would I truly make his efforts all for nothing?
Outsider, magic-user, traitor, curse—all these things defined me now.
But, despite it all, selfishly...
...I still wanted to be a friend, too.
Survive, I could do.
Live, I would not.
My head broke the surface. That first breath of air was painful, like breaking through an eggshell and forcing life into my lungs for the very first time.
The currents had carried me far from the Shell. It stretched into the sky, bearing its power down onto all who came upon it. I could no longer hear the flapping of wings nor the shouting of voices. I didn't dare sight-sound, unless someone felt it and began their search anew.
I paddled for just long enough to catch my breath. All-too-aware of the Shell's looming presence, I slipped below once I knew I could carry on.
With my back to the Shell, I descended into the world of the fake gods, cursed to never find home or love again.