C'est la vie

by An Average Writer

It was their final year at Sobu and Yumiko needed to get the perfect gift for Hayato while she still had the time. The bad news? She had no idea what to get him. The good news? There was one person she could think of that might be able to help. The worst news? That person happened to be Yukino Yukinoshita…

5. Chapter 5

Shopping centres were great hubs of commerce and consumerism. Comprised of vast networks of interconnected stores, markets and businesses, all manner of products and services were provided at convenience to fulfill a person's every need and more. When it came to variety, there were few locations more suitable when browsing for gift ideas. Combined with an ample number of restaurants, cafes and other sites intended to entertain, they were a common location for people, both young and old, to meet and mingle together.

I was no stranger to visits to the mall myself and though I was used to frequenting them on my lonesome, in recent times I've grown accustomed to being part of a group during my outings. I must admit, I've come to regard those idyllic days of youth with a great deal of fondness. Whether I was called upon to accompany Yuigahama and Komachi during their trips, if it were simply Hachiman and I by ourselves, or if all of us were out together, it was far more frequent that I now spend my time alongside the people I've come to treasure in the last year and a half.

With all that said however, my circumstances today were far closer to the discomforting and awkward experiences that I was familiar with whenever I found myself working alongside someone whom I struggled to relate with almost every conceivable level.

"Hmm? No. Nuh uh. No good. Ugh! Definitely not that!"

Absorbed in her search, Miura muttered to herself under her breath as she sorted through the rack in front of her. Draped on one arm were an assortment of different jackets, shirts and other items she's already selected.

Standing on my own some distance away, I suppressed an urge to sigh.

When we had first arrived at the centre, I had put forth the idea that we should take separate paths through the complex in order to compile as large a list of suitable gift ideas as possible before reconvening. Given how much ground there was to cover, I'd thought it was a sensible decision to start off with.

Miura would have none of it however and insisted that I accompany her as she looked through the stores. Her reasoning was that she needed my opinions to make her choice and splitting up would defeat the entire purpose of my coming with her. I had tried to argue that maximising our limited time to cover as many options as possible was the most practical approach but she would not be moved from her position. In the end, and partially to head off what was rapidly growing into another conflict between us, I deigned to follow her lead on the matter. The request was ultimately hers after all.

Still, that meant that I was largely left to idle by myself and simply watch as Miura conducted her search. In the beginning she tried to engage me in idle chatter but a combination of the topics she raised being irrelevant to our reason for being here, as well as my own general unfamiliarity and discomfort with small talk, meant my perfunctory responses failed to sustain a conversation and we had soon fallen into silence.

Feeling a bit of stiffness beginning to build up within my legs, I took a few steps back and forth in place to relieve the sensation, lest it develop into an uncomfortable case of pins and needles.

Absent-mindedly, I glanced about the store. I wasn't familiar with this particular outlet, unsurprising considering the sheer variety of boutiques that were located in this wing of the building alone. Judging by the ease with which Miura had navigated through its, not inconsiderable, aisles it was safe to presume she was a regular customer here. Aside from its primary selection of clothing aimed at both male and female customers, I had noticed a variety of other products on display as well from shoes to bags and other accessories. Taken together, it wasn't the worst place to begin searching I suppose.

"Ok! I think this'll do! Hey Yukinoshita what do you think of these?"

Miura finally seemed satisfied with her selection. With her arms carefully cradling an assortment of colorful jackets and overcoats, she stepped up nimbly towards me, her face faintly weary but also carrying an undeniable air of satisfaction.

Faced with such, I snapped out of my idle thoughts while doing my best to banish whatever reservations I held in my mind, focusing my full attention to the task at hand.

Straightening up, I scrutinised the garments held in front of me carefully. I was not particularly experienced when it came to giving gifts to boys, much less what styles would be considered fashionable, and I couldn't help but wonder whether clothing was really even the best choice, stereotypical though that thought may be.

Reaching out, I selected a windbreaker from among the stack and inspected it critically. Lifting one of the sleeves, I gave the cloth an experimental tug. The material was light to the touch. It would be comforting to wear yet it also felt reasonably resilient. Judging by the feel, it appeared to be composed largely of synthetic fibres that would insulate while allowing the jacket to remain thin and could likely be worn for the coming cold months as well, if layered appropriately.

Lowering the jacket back down, I picked out another article from the pile, a hooded coat with a single zipper pocket on each side. This one was thicker than the last, yet not overly so that it would come across as bulky. From the sensation of the fabric in my hands, this one felt much more natural in its make. It would be comfortable to wear and still felt quite hardy. I fingered the cloth experimentally; I couldn't say what blend of fabric it was composed of exactly, but it appeared to be of decently high quality.

I put the parka back down and went on to the next, and then the next. Eventually I reached the last garment and, after turning it over the same way I did with all the previous items, I carefully folded it up and placed it onto the pile with all the others.

"Well?" Miura demanded in an anticipatory tone. She was obviously eager to hear my response.

"In terms of a gift, the selection here is quite thorough." I spoke slowly, trying to gather my thoughts. "There is quite a variety in terms of different style, but each ultimately serves the same function. The make is also quite-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Miura interrupted impatiently, waving one of her hands as she did so. "Look, the point is what would Hayato think if he got these? Do you think he'd like it?"

Oh. That's right. I'd been so focused on analysing the clothes in a vacuum that I had neglected to consider the most important factor.

I glanced down at the assortment of outerwear once more. Now that I was looking at them again, I couldn't help but notice how each article of clothing seemed carefully selected to complement Hayama's natural coloring. There were a large variety in both dark hues and lighter tints yet, despite the differences, they all appeared to be have been chosen to pair well together with Hayama's blonde hair, fair skin and navy eyes. Despite the quantity, it was obvious Miura had put a lot of thought into each and every one and given the speed with which she had picked everything out, I was mildly impressed. If nothing else, no one could deny that Miura had a keen eye when it came to fashion and accessorising.

"I'm sure Hayama-kun would have no complaints if he received any of these." I said at last. "Everything here would be quite acceptable as a gift."

"…I see." Miura muttered. She wore a vaguely dissatisfied expression on her face as she stared at the garments she'd worked so hard to pick out. "Just acceptable, huh?"

Without saying another word, she gathered up the pile into her arms once more, turned around, stalked back to the racks and promptly began to sort them back where she found them.

I watched in bemusement. Had I said something wrong?

"Is something the matter? After going through such effort, isn't it a bit rash to simply reject everything out of hand like this?"

"It's fine." She muttered back without looking. Reaching out, she placed a jacket back onto the rack. "I mean, we're just getting started. It's not like we'd find something perfect on the first try, right?"

Despite her words, she seemed to harbor doubts within her mind. Miura's movements grew slower, more tentative. Every so often she would sneak a glance back at me, as though some unanswered question was burning in her mind.

"Hey. Are you like… absolutely sure that nothing about these would stand out to Hayato? I mean, not even a little?"

Unlike the confident, headstrong looks I was so used to receiving from her, the expression currently occupying Miura's face was one filled to the brim with uncertainty.

I frowned as I tried to make sense of her words.

If it were merely a question of having Hayama accepting a gift the answer would be an easy one. Unless the item in question was egregiously awful, I'm certain he would graciously receive anything he was presented with, whilst wearing his ever-present smile on his face.

Finding a gift that would make an impression however, was a far more difficult prospect. Offhandedly, I couldn't recall if Hayama ever owned a particular shirt or jacket he considered dear to him, nor did I know of any particular brands he favored over others. I was aware of the fact that he owned at least two formal suits that were specially tailored for him to wear at functions but I doubted that was what Miura had in mind as an answer. Even back when we were children, Hayama had never been particularly wanting when it came to receiving presents. "Just the thought is enough" was a common platitude but, for the person whose greatest wish was to meet all expectations he was presented with, regardless of his own feelings, such a refrain was likely closest to the truth.

With a jittery Miura impatiently anticipating an answer, I could only be honest with what I knew.

"I'm positive that Hayama-kun would be quite happy to wear anything you give him." I replied simply.

"…I know he will!" Miura snapped back sharply, her hesitation shifting into frustration. "But the point is, it's not really something that'll make an impression on him, right? That's why it's no good!"

I bristled at her tone and, with some effort, I once again resisted the urge to fire back with my own verbal barbs. It felt a little more difficult each time. I knew she and I would have our differences that would likely clash as the day went on and had been prepared to deal with such accordingly, but that didn't make the experience any more pleasant to deal with.

"In terms of quality and fashion, no complaints can be made about any of these clothes you've chosen." I spoke somewhat stiffly. "Frankly, I have no idea what Hayama-kun's personal tastes are so I can only judge each item based purely on its own merits."

"Oh, will you stop saying that! It's like every time I ask, you always throw out the exact same line! You have to have some idea of what he might like! I mean…" Miura's face twisted as she spoke, as though she were attempting to swallow a particularly bitter piece of fruit.

"…just imagine if you were the one giving something like this to Hayato. How do you think he'd act then?"

I couldn't help but cock my head, befuddled.

"I'm sure Hayama-kun would accept the gift, but I don't see anything else coming out of it?"

On some level I could understand what Miura was trying to say. To put yourself into another person's shoes was a common piece of advice and trying to gain perspective outside your own was always valuable.

However, to point out the obvious, not only did Miura and I have vastly different relationships with Hayama we also had significantly different perceptions towards him as a person as well. A gift to Hayama from me would be much more of a gift of obligation then out of any real attachment. Moreover, I had not chosen any of these items myself, I had no attachment to them and therefore had no investment in how they may be received one way or another. To put it simply, her attempted analogy for the situation was flawed.

"Well that decides it then!" Miura promptly turned back and went back to her sorting, hooking another garment back into place with a somewhat violet tug.

"I mean you said it yourself. All this stuff here is only "acceptable" right? I mean Hayato always gets a bunch of presents every year. I don't want my stuff to be lumped in with everyone else's is all. I need to find something that'll really get his attention this time. If it doesn't have any impact, it's no good to me."

Perhaps it said ill things of me that the first thing that jumped into mind was a sardonic thought about how appropriate it was that the flashy Miura was so preoccupied with finding an equally showy gift for the target of her infatuation. I've certainly made no effort to disguise my contempt for such shallow thinking in the past so it was fortunate that I had the self-control today to avoid giving voicing to these thoughts aloud.

"I'm sure I've said this before but I'll reiterate it again anyway. Don't become so fixated on the gift itself that you lose sight of the purpose of giving it. No matter what you've chosen, so long as you've put in a sincere effort, the physical aspect of the gift itself is practically meaningless. It is how the gift reflects on you and the relationship you have with the receiver in turn that's the most important thing to keep in mind."

Miura's reasoning may seem superficial on the surface but I've learned in the past year that simply judging people by what they outwardly display would only lead to equally shallow conclusions. I chose to place my faith in the side of Miura that I believed sought something deeper and more meaningful than that. The side of her that I had only caught the barest glimpses of before, both today and that time all the way back after New Year's.

Certainly, my words this time actually seemed to give Miura some pause rather than automatically provoking her into anger. Or I assumed so at least, from the way she'd grown still as I spoke.

"Well, that's not good enough this time, ok."

In contrast to her fiery exclamations from before, Miura's voice just now simply sounded tired. I waited for her to elaborate further but she simply went on with her sorting.

"Well perhaps you can explain what you're looking for then. Now that you've had a chance to shop around, you must have some idea on the criteria of your search. I'm sure I could offer better assistance if I had a clearer idea of what you're after."

"…actually, I'm still kinda in the middle of working that out. With these I was mostly just focused on finding something that'll look good on Hayato if he wears it."

Miura waved one of the jackets in the air for emphasis before placing it on the rack.

"For now I guess we'll have to keep looking. And, this goes without saying but, if you see anything that might be good, just let me know."

I could feel the beginnings of a headache coming on. Reaching up, I pinched the bridge of my nose in consternation.

It felt as though we were going in circles, and I didn't just mean the shopping. The more we talked the less we seemed to understand one another. I suppose I can at least be glad we've managed to keep our arguments to the bare minimum, since leaving the school the number of times we'd come to blows over our differences could (just) be counted on one hand, but the laissez-faire way Miura has conducted the search was almost as frustrating in its own right.

I crossed my arms as I contemplated my options.

I've deliberately tried to avoid acting too confrontational in the hopes of ensuring a relatively smooth experience but a consequence of that meant it was difficult for me to make any meaningful contributions to our search which only served to frustrate Miura in its own way. We were still getting started so perhaps I was worrying needlessly over something that wasn't a problem yet. Still, I would prefer if we could be more focused in our search from here onwards. Hmm, perhaps I could…

"Excuse me."

Blinking at the sudden call, I looked towards the source and found myself presented with a neatly attired, approximately college aged young woman wearing a rather well practised looking smile on her pretty face.

"You ladies seem to be having some trouble" She spoke in a smooth, clear voice, the smile on her face not wavering for a second. "May I perhaps offer you two some assistance?"

Ah. How troublesome.

Awkward encounters like this were part of the reason why, whenever I was out shopping for myself, I preferred to have a solid idea on what I wanted before entering a shop and avoided loitering in one area for too long. With the rather conspicuous pile of clothing we'd been sorting through earlier, not to mention Miura's eye-catching way of carrying herself in general, it was actually a little surprising something like this hadn't happened sooner.

"No that is quite al-"

"Sure! That'd be a great he-"

Miura and I both halted mid-sentence.

In eerie synchronization, we turned to look at each other, our faces morphing into equally nonplussed expressions at our opposing responses. On her part, the assistant glanced back and forth between us, her smile growing somewhat less certain at our standoff.

After a moment, I lightly stepped back and gave Miura a, slightly hesitant, nod of assent.

"Actually, I'm here to shop for a friend." Miura continued on, stepping away from the rack as she did so.

"See it's his birthday in a couple of days and well, the thing is, it's out last year in high school together and I was hoping to get him something really special. He's about this tall, hair color like mine, a little darker though, and he usually has it styled like… actually hang on a sec. Lemme get my phone. It'd be easier if I just show you a picture…"

The young women obligingly leaned forward to look at the image, letting out the appropriate approving murmurs as Miura talked on.

"Oh my! Well, in that case, we need a very special gift for sure! Was there anything in particular you had in mind? I see you've gone through a rather large amount of our jackets on your own."

"Yeah well. I mean I figured I'd get Hayato something he could wear on the outside cause the weather is gonna start getting' chilly pretty soon! So I figured I'd start lookin around here but I don't think anything I've found so far has really been good enough, uh no offence!"

"Oh that's quite all right! I'm sure you've just been thinking about getting the best gift possible for your friend."

Standing straight once more, the assistant thoughtfully tapped at her lip with a well-manicured finger.

"To be honest, everything we have here is actually a bit behind the latest trends. Hmm. Between you and me, we've actually received some of our Winter stock just this week. Most of them are being held back for display until Christmas time but, since this means so much to you, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt if we go take a peek and pick out something you might like from there?"

"Really?! Are you sure?! That's fantastic news! Thanks so much, you're a lifesaver!"

"Oh it's my pleasure! Come right this way then."

"Alright, sorry for all the trouble!"

"Oh it's no trouble at all! Really, there's really no better way to spend a day then browsing through the latest fashion."

"Ain't that the truth?! You've really saved me here!"

Side by side, the two of them walked along, their conversation showing no signs of stopping. From behind, I trailed after the pair in silence.

"Forgive my saying this but you looked like you were quite familiar with our store and layout. You wouldn't happen to be a regular customer, by any chance?"

"Well sure! I come here all the time! I've actually kinda lost track of everything I've actually gotten here to be honest, haha! My mom's been giving me a hard time lately about how much stuff I've been keeping in her closet. Usually I'm just for myself or to buy stuff for some other girls but there's plenty of stuff here for guys too. I figured it'd be a great place to start!

"I see, I see. You wouldn't happen to be a member of our loyalty program by any chance? Do you have your card or membership number with you?"

"Yep! I have it right here actually!"

I watched on from a respectable distance as Miura conversed to this stranger with such remarkable openness. It was undeniably the most at ease I've seen her today. For me, I couldn't help but find it incongruous that she could speak so freely with someone she only just met. Perhaps such experiences were regular occurrences for her?

"So, why don't you tell me a little more about this friend of yours. You said you go to the same school. Have you known him a long time?"

"Oh, I've known him all the way since the start of high school! We were in the same freshmen class and met each other not long after. We've been together ever since pretty much!"

"I see, I see. I do have to say though, he is a rather... handsome fellow isn't he?" Turning, the young women gave Miura a knowing look. "Tell me the truth here, is he just a friend or is he something a little bit… more?"

I frowned in disapproval at the rather unsubtle dig into Miura's personal life.

"Hey! Don't go reading too much into things! Like I said, we're just friends!" Miura exclaimed, her words undermined by the way her cheeks had taken on a red tint.

"For now?" The assistant replied teasingly

"Well…"

Miura's manner grew meeker.

"…that stuff's complicated right now." She mumbled quietly, wringing her hands in the process. "I mean telling him now would just make things even harder."

My eyes narrowed at her evasiveness. Not for the first time, I wondered of the circumstances that were driving Miura's current actions.

"I see… well, regardless, I still hope it all works out for you in the end." The assistant said airily. "Oh to be young and in love."

"Cut it out!" Miura shrieked in embarrassment. "You're not that much older than me anyway!"

Chuckling, the assistant raised her hands in acquiesce as we finally reached a counter. Stepping behind it, she deftly typed her fingers across the keyboard. Miura made herself home on her right, leaning on the desk from the corner. It felt somehow inappropriate for me to intrude so I kept my distance and allowed them to have space to talk freely.

Even as the assistant worked, she continued to exchange pleasantries with Miura. From what I could hear, they've moved on from the original subject to other, more inconsequential, topics and I found my attention drifting away from the conversation as it went on. Left idle once more, I tried not to feel too awkward standing in place with my back held rigidly straight. Compared to Miura's relaxed stance, I couldn't deny that I was completely out of my element in this situation.

"And here we have it! These are some samples from our latest catalogue. Do you see anything here you might like?"

Balancing on her arms, Miura craned her head around so she could look at the screen.

"Huh? There's quite a bit here isn't there?"

"Yes. Like I said earlier, we've just received our first shipment for our upcoming Winter sale. Holidays are always a busy time so we always make sure we're well stocked up beforehand."

"Woah! I never thought about it like that! Say, since we're already looking peeking, mind if we look at some of the new dresses or overcoats for girls as well?"

"Miura-san, have you forgotten the reason why we're here?" I finally interjected. "Our goal here was to find something suitable as a gift for you to give to Hayama-kun. If you plan to shop for yourself, you should save it for after we're done."

With the way the two of them blinked bemusement as they turned to stare at me, you could almost be forgiven for thinking they'd forgotten about my presence entirely.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" The assistant said apologetically. "Were you looking into buying something as well?"

"Oh no she's just a, uh… friend!" Miura hurriedly spoke up before I could gather my thoughts to respond. "She came along to help me, y'know second opinion and all that."

"Oh, you two must be close then if you wanted her to come all the way with you for something like this! It's always nice to see friends willing to help each other out in their time of need."

Miura and I both concealed grimaces.

"Right." Miura forced herself to continue with artificial cheer. "Um so did… so did you want to take a look as well?"

Hesitantly, I stepped up to the space by the counter I was being proffered. I skimmed over the images being displayed. It was a fairly simplistic overview overall, with a single picture for each item without too much detail. To the side was a product code alongside the make, size and a few other specifications.

"I'm not so sure if I can offer an accurate judgement from merely looking at an image on the screen." I said at last, stepping back from the monitor. "I'm sure the shop assistant can give a much more comprehensive breakdown of each item then I can."

Left unspoken, was the fact that Miura seemed to have a much easier time consulting with the assistant as well.

"Well, I certainly don't want to just leave you here all by yourself… how about this? While I'm helping your friend here, we can have someone else and take you around the store, see if you can find anything you might like for yourself instead?"

I blinked once, befuddled at the suggestion.

"Um, thank you for the offer but…"

"That's a great idea!"

Once again Miura and I spoke up in unison but her voice was louder by far and drowned out my own reply.

Beaming, the assistant had already turned away and was hailing down another young woman in the distance. She was attired similarly to the first though slightly younger in appearance, possibly her junior based on the familiar way they greeted each other.

"Go on Yukinoshita." Miura encouraged once more. "I mean you're here now, might as well look around a bit while you have some spare time!"

"I don't think that…"

"Oh trust me on this! They've got plenty of great stuff here to look through here! I'm sure you'll be able to find something! Don't we have Prom happening at the end of this year as well? Never hurts to start looking at dresses early y'know. Who knows it might even help you chill out a little. Go on!"

"But…"

I was ready to protest further but the second young woman had already finished consulting with the first and was stepping up towards me, a bright grin plastered on her youthful face.

"Hi! I'm Natsumi! Senpai here told me all about what's going on! Let's go!"

Slowly I looked back and forth between the people gathered here, feeling more and more lost by the second.

Just what was going on anymore? How did the situation even arrive at this? I simply couldn't make sense of it all. So many different things kept happening one after the other that I scarcely had time to process any of it. In the first place, has Miura completely forgotten the entire reason I was even here with her?

Bouncing on the balls of her feet, the second assistant evidently decided that my lack of response was as good as confirmation and, before I knew it, she'd shot off. Striding through the store with lively steps, confident that I would follow. Compared to the first, this one seemed much more spirited in her approach.

Meanwhile, Miura was already back at her place by the close to the computer alongside the original assistant, having clearly decided that this discussion was over as well.

Feeling more unsure than ever but, not knowing what else to do, I hesitantly followed after the second young women. As I went, I couldn't help but look back in the direction of the counter one last time.

Miura had gone back to chatting with the first assistant, not even sparing me a second glance in my direction as I left. After putting so much emphasis on sticking together in the beginning, to see her now so readily eager to be rid of me vexed me in a way that was difficult to put into words. I didn't think she was being dismissive on purpose and it wasn't as though I particularly enjoyed being in her presence to begin with, yet I couldn't help but feel slightly indignant at simply being dismissed in such an offhanded manner.

After all, even if I had little personal investment in the request itself, I still possessed my own natural desire to not fail at a task I've chosen to undertake.

Yet, after thinking back on how our earlier ventures had gone when it was just the two of us, I was forced to admit it wasn't as though I've been a great assistance up to this point anyway, slightly galling as it was to say aloud. Especially given current circumstances, I have to concede that Miura was more than capable of handling all interaction with the shop assistance with her impeccable social skills.

In some ways I was even grateful for that fact as it meant I hadn't been forced to deal with such myself yet, at the same time, I couldn't help but wonder what I was even needed for in the first place anymore…

---

"So, what exactly was that Prom thing your friend mentioned back there? It must be something exciting if you're looking to buy a whole new dress for it!"

As I had been dreading, the moment we were alone the store assistant, Natsumi, immediately moved to engage me in conversation.

I knew that it was only part of her duties, that trying to appear friendly and approachable so as to ease any potential customers into making a purchase was a key skill to any good sales representative, but that didn't make it any less discomforting for me.

"She's more of a mutual acquaintance than a friend." I muttered back uneasily, hoping to find an opening to end the conversation quickly. "It's an abbreviation of the word promenade. It's a form of celebration common in western high schools, typically involving a semi-formal dance and dinner hosted for seniors graduates near the end of the year."

"Wow! That sounds so exciting! Your school must be really great if they're willing to throw something like that! You know, we never had anything like that back when I was still a student! I mean, make no mistake, our graduation ceremony was a blast! But hearing about these foreign traditions, I can't help but wonder what it'd be like to experience some firsthand…"

She was certainly much chattier than the assistant from earlier. I wasn't going to complain though. It was much easier for me to listen rather than having to constantly exchange pleasantries with her. In some ways, I could almost find it almost comfortingly familiar.

"Oh, but I'm sure you're not interested in hearing me go one about my boring life! Tell me a little bit about yourself. Have you ever been here before?"

"…this is my first time actually."

"Ah, well in that case we can have you sign up for our membership program. We have some great bonuses on offer for return customers! You can read about them on our website. It's pretty easy, all you have to do is…"

"…no thank you, I'm fine."

If she found my reticent responses off-putting, she was doing an excellent job keeping it to herself. The brightness in her smile hadn't dimmed in the slightest and there was still an energetic spring in each of her footsteps. In terms of the quality of their staff, I had to admit this store was quite superb.

"Alright then! Let's pick you the perfect dress for your big debut!" She announced, pumping one fist into the air as she did so. "I'm sure you'll want to look your best at Prom!"

She wasn't lacking when it came to enthusiasm at least. It was just unfortunate that I was unable to reciprocate. Hmm, perhaps now was a good time to clarify that I never had any intentions to go dress shopping today? I think we've gone far enough that I wouldn't end up causing any awkwardness between her and her senior by bringing it up as well.

"Actually, I sincerely apologise for the trouble, but I believe you've been called here over a misunderstanding."

"Huh? What do you mean exactly?"

"I actually didn't mean to do any shopping for myself today. I'm only here because Miura-san desired my assistance in picking out a gift for someone she's close to. Your colleague was the one who suggested I spend time on myself before I had a chance to correct her."

I braced myself for her to react with annoyance, even anger. Even the most easy-going people would be irritated at having their time wasted after all. But instead, after a brief look of surprise, I received a warm look of admiration.

"Woah! I can't believe you're thinking so much about other people even now. You really are a good friend, aren't you?"

"Hardly." I sighed at the continued misunderstanding. "I'd simply prefer to remain focused on what I came here to do. Getting side-tracked would only unnecessarily prolong things"

"Oh, well don't worry your pretty head about that! She's in good hands with senpai! But in the meantime, since we're already almost there, we might as well keep going. It doesn't really matter if you don't even pick anything out today!"

"I'd really prefer not cause any undue trouble…"

"Oh, it's no trouble at all! We've been having a pretty slow day today! Besides helping people look their best is a great thing to do! I'm sure your friend just wants to make sure you have a good time as well!"

"Somehow, I doubt that."

"Oh c'mon! Please! As a favor for meee?"

She was being remarkably persistent with this… and I couldn't help but feel there was something vaguely familiar about her way of asking.

"…very well." I finally relented. I suppose humoring her for a few minutes wouldn't hurt?

Letting loose a slight squeal of glee, she hurried forward with abandon whilst I followed more subduedly. Within a few more moments of walking, we found ourselves in a different section of this store. All along the aisles were rows of dresses, neatly arranged for easy viewing and access.

"Okay!" Natsumi exclaimed, clapping her hands together repeatedly in excitedly. "Let's get started then! What kind of dress are you looking for exactly? How formal does it need to be?"

"Nothing too extravagant. It's not a true black-tie event."

"That gives us a few options then. Hmm… alright then! Personally, I think just about anything we have would look good on you but we need something that'll really light up the room! And to do that, I think we should start off here! Pick out anything you'd like to try out! As you can see, we have a great selection of-"

I was only half listening as I stepped forward and inspected some of the merchandise on display. As before, she seemed quite content to talk on her own pace without needing any input from me.

I have to admit, the dresses on display were certainly quite lovely. Nothing on the level of designer brands but, much like the men's jackets from earlier, they were all very well made for economical prices and were clearly designed in mind to look good when worn. Altogether, I could see why Miura frequented this boutique so much.

Strictly speaking however, I didn't even need a new dress. I already owned a fair collection of different gowns, though many of them would probably be considered overdressing if worn for a high school dance, and I also had a number of more casual options for less formal occasions as well. Even if it was considered customary to purchase a new dress as part of one's coming of age, I was hardly lacking in options from my existing wardrobe.

Having finished shifting through the first aisle I turned around and began to do the same on the other side.

Thinking about it again, I haven't really put much thought into what I was planning to wear for Prom. Given we were still a good several months away from graduation, not to mention how our final exams were coming up first, it wasn't really a surprise. Considering how Miura brought it up, the two Proms we held last year must have really made an impression to have lingered in memory for so long.

As I continued to search, I couldn't help but wonder what it would be like? Despite working so hard on them in my second year, I must admit I wasn't fond of actually attending such gatherings personally. Mingling and dancing alongside strangers simply wasn't an activity I could bring myself to relish but there were people whom I could see myself enjoying the company of throughout the night, especially now. After all, it was tradition to bring a partner when attending such an event…

I paused my thoughts as something on the racks caught my eye.

Standing out amongst the sea of different fabrics, was a dress of nearly pure white. It's bright and pale hue lit it out like a beacon among the myriad of colors it was surrounded by and, with my attention already drawn to it, it became harder to look away.

My interest piqued, I reached out and carefully removed it from the stand, before holding it out for inspection.

The top was sleeveless, unusual for a winter selection, and a single band of blue cloth encircled the waist, adding a vivid splash of color to the otherwise snow-like countenance. The dress was quite minimalistic overall, but that hardly detracted from its loveliness. Rather, I would say it was elegant in its simplicity. (1)

What's more, within the long, flowing skirt I spied the faintest traces of tiny, translucent shapes embroidered on the fabric underneath, tastefully scattered about at the edges that became visible at certain angles within the light. At first glance they seemed to be comprised entirely of snowflakes, an appropriate if uninspired choice, but a closer look revealed the patterns gradually shifted, transitioning into the shape of teardrops.

Twirling it in my arms experimentally, the way the pattern flowed it almost seemed to give the impression snow transforming into rain. Winter to Spring. It was faint enough that few would even be able to notice the change, but I couldn't help but admire the design.

"Ah, I see you've picked something out. It would look just lovely on you, I'm sure." Natsumi chirruped, coming up beside me. "But don't take my word for it. Go ahead and try it on! The changing rooms are just over there."

I lightly bit at my lip as I considered my options. In truth, I hadn't really expected to find something I would like enough to buy. It was a very nice dress, no matter which way I looked at it and it was hardly outside my means to purchase as well. It wouldn't even take very long to see how well it fitted.

"I'm afraid it isn't the best time for me to buy a dress right now." I said reluctantly, lowering the garment as I did so. "It's quite likely I'm going to be spending further time in the centre. Carrying a dress around simply wouldn't be practical. I need to get back to Miura-san as well. I believe we've spent sufficient time here to allow her to be finished with her own selection."

I knew how thin my excuses were. A single dress was hardly cumbersome enough to be a significant burden, even with how low my stamina was. If need be, I could even make use of one of coin lockers scattered around the centre to store the item until it was time to leave, even if, in the past, I've sometimes had trouble finding the locker in question again.

In the end it just didn't sit right with me to go out of my way to make a purchase for myself when the entire point of my being here was to assist Miura in her own selection, especially after going previously making a point to her about keeping focused on what we came here to do. I was here, first and foremost, at the behest of her request. Anything else was a secondary concern until that has been resolved. I couldn't allow myself to be any more distracted by this matter then I'd already been.

"Okay then! I'm just glad to see young people today so willing to help each other out in their time of need!"

I stifled the urge to correct her misconception once more. It would only draw more questions and was unlikely to make a difference at this point anyway.

"But, umm…" The assistant continued on, scratching her head. "You really seemed to like it when you were looking it over. Wouldyou like me to maybe reserve this for you, just in case you change your mind?"

"That…" I blinked once slowly at the unexpected offer. I couldn't help but let my eyes linger on the dress, just a little bit. It was a very nice dress.

"…that would be appreciated. Thank you."

---

I had already finished zipping up the first boot and was in the middle of trying to fit on the second when I spied Yukinoshita making her way towards me.

"Oh, hey. You're back." I called out to her casually, wriggling my foot back and forth to make sure the sole was fitted in properly. "You were off for quite a bit. Did you have a good time?"

I knew I have. Having some time to myself to just browse around for myself like usual had done absolute wonders for my mood. It was probably the most relaxed I've been today.

Shopping had always helped me unwind. Really, nothing beat a good day spent hanging out with my friends, going through stores to our hearts content. I mean sure sometimes, well most of the time, my parents complained on how much I was spending on clothes, makeup and other stuff (and I'd point out every time it was mostly money I earned myself so I could buy whatever I wanted with it!) and there were times when I'd get frustrated cause nothing I found was good or I'd have a disagreement with one or more of my friends about where to go next or how something looked but, for the most part, hitting up the shops was a great way for me to kick back and forget my troubles, at least for a few hours.

Of course, if I had to be completely honest, it was also good for me to have a bit of a breather from Yukinoshita as well. I mean, no offence but really, the way she's been acting this entire time was just way too tense and unnatural! I'd felt so awkward trying to go about the way I usually do. When I'm with my friends we're always crowded in a close group, talking, laughing and just having a good time together. With her there wasn't any of that. It wasn't like I thought we'd go around acting like best buddies or anything but she didn't act like anyone I've ever hung out with!

I mean she didn't talk. She didn't browse. She just stood there and watched me like a hawk the entire time! Whenever I tried to get her to join in, she'd just say she was fine where she was and stayed in that one spot like a mannequin or something. Like, how can anyone say they're fine with that? Didn't she have any idea how to have fun on a shopping trip? It almost made wish I'd agreed to her earlier idea on splitting up and looking around on our own first!

I'd hoped that letting Yukinoshita off to do her own thing would hopefully help her decompress a little. The way she was just quietly standing to the side, just staring at nothing in particular, it was obvious to anyone with eyes that she was stressing over something, even if I didn't really get why. When she doesn't talk, it's actually kinda easy to feel a bit sorry for her. I'm sure a nice change of pace and a chance to shop for herself was just the thing to help her loosen up a bit. She's still a girl after all and no girl can resist a chance to dress up and make themselves look fantastic.

"It was an acceptable way to pass the time." Yukinoshita replied, coming up and stopping a few feet on my left.

There was that word again. After having all that time to herself, you'd think she could at least come out of it a bit cheerier, don't you think?

"Well alright, as long as it was acceptable." I said back with a roll of my eyes.

Having finished with the boots I leaned back on the bench and kicked my feet forward experimentally so I could see how they looked.

"So, anyways, did you find anything you liked? Like I said, they have lots of great stuff to look for here, am I right?"

"I… they have an impressive selection here, yes. More importantly, though, how did your search from earlier go? Judging by your activity here, would it be safe to say you've found something promising?"

Geez, she sure was quick to brush her own shopping under the rug. I mean it wouldn't hurt for her to share some of her own opinions or something. If nothing else it would give me something I could actually talk with her about. Still, it was fine I suppose. It's a little hard to believe but I think I'm actually starting to get used to hanging out with her.

"Oh yeah! Like you wouldn't believe! Here check it out!"

I eagerly pulled out the outfit I found and held it out in front of Yukinsohita with a flourish.

"Ta-da! Well, what do you think?"

Yukinoshita just stared at me, an unreadable expression on her face.

Huh, that was kind of weird. I mean I didn't exactly think she was going to burst into cheers or anything but I at least expected her to say something.

I looked back at the winter coat and skirt combo I'd gotten for myself, wondering if there was something wrong with it? I mean I couldn't see anything strange about it from where I was standing? It had just been taken out from the back so it was still sealed inside a plastic sleeve and all but it was still pretty easy to see-through. Even Misha, the shop assistant from earlier, said it was a great choice when she had it brought out.

Hmm, maybe Yukinoshita was just having trouble seeing it when it's on its own like this? To help make my point better I held the clothes up against my body she could get an idea of what it looked like when worn.

"Yep, it's pretty great, right? There was plenty of other great outfits too, but the moment I saw this one I knew it was a match made in heaven! Best of all, the rest of the line won't be coming out for months, meaning I'm the only one who gets to own one right now! I can't wait to take it home and show this off on LINE!"

"…what about your gift for Hayama-kun? After all, unless he has recently developed a habit of cross-dressing in women's clothing, I can't see how this can be considered a suitable present in any way, shape or form."

Okay, I knew she probably wasn't trying to be funny on purpose but I couldn't hold back a small snort of laughter.

"Oh that?" I answered, after getting my mirth back under control. "Yeah, I had a good look at everything they had for guys. Nothing really stood out to me. Most of it was pretty similar to what we were looking at earlier actually, so I ended up getting this instead!"

I gave the winter ensemble another flourish.

"And y'know, after finding such a great outfit I just had to get something that would pair up with it. That's actually what I'm trying these on for."

I tapped the ground with the tip of one boot to make my point.

Meanwhile Yukinoshita was beginning to do that thing when she started rubbing the top part of her nose like she had a headache or something.

"…I don't believe this. The entire time I was gone, I thought you were still in the midst of searching." Opening one eye, she shot me an annoyed glare. "Tell me, exactly what was the purpose in our coming here if you weren't even going to focus on the task at hand?"

I slowly lowered the clothes I was holding up, feeling a little deflated at the sudden scolding.

"So, I happened to find something for myself. What was I gonna do? Just leave it behind because I'm in the middle of something else? Get real! We can shop for more than one thing at a time!"

"That's not the point!"

I stepped back a bit in surprise, a little off-guard at how loud her voice got.

"After putting so much emphasis on how much was at stake for this request, I thought you were prepared to put aside your own wants and put your focus on what needed to be done. How can you be so easily distracted by such petty interruptions! Wasn't this supposed to be important to you?"

"Geez! What's your deal! Like I told you, I looked at what they had and none of it looked right to me, ok!" I fired back, starting to get annoyed now.

I'd thought that getting a chance to take a break from everything would have helped her relax, but it seems to have just done the opposite. I didn't think she was the kind of person who'd throw a fit over such a non-issue so just what was her problem?

"I mean, what was I supposed to do? Twiddle my thumbs and just stand in one place, waiting for you to come back?! C'mon! 'Sides I would have felt really bad if I didn't get anything after making Misha go through all that trouble searching up stuff for me!"

"You could have at least endeavored to use your time more productively! If you were already done with your selection, or lack thereof, why didn't you come find me so we could move on to the next store?! As is, we've now spent all this time on unnecessary distractions without anything to show for it."

"What are you even talking about! What do you mean, unnecessary distractions?! I just thought you could use some free time while I was busy! What are you getting so pissy about!? It hasn't even been an hour yet, it's not the end of the world!"

We were starting to get looks from other people in the store. In the far corner, an important manager looking type, was beginning to give us the stink eye. I did my best to calm down, though God knows it wasn't easy with the way Yukinoshita was riling me up. The last thing I wanted was to get kicked out cause we were making a scene after all.

Yukinoshita seemed to notice as well and it looked like she was trying to dial down her attitude too. from the way she started taking deep breaths.

"In any case, arguing here isn't going to regain any of the time we've lost. If there's nothing more to see here, then we should head out and find the next shop quickly."

Well, even if I was gearing up for it, fighting really wasn't gonna help with anything. It wasn't like she was wrong about that, even if she was in the wrong for starting it in the first place.

"Alright, alright. Just give me a minute." I grumbled, sitting down again so I could take the boots off.

Urgh, what a way to end things. I was still in the middle of trying on stuff when she came back but I guess I'll have to cut things short today to keep Yukinoshita happy. With the way things were going, the good mood I had gotten from earlier was beginning to go sour too. That's just what I needed.

With a hard yank I got the second boot off, wriggling my toes a bit on instinct at the sensation of being free. I set them down off on one side and hurried to put my school shoes back on. Even for something as simple that, I still felt like there was some kind of pressure on me from the way Yukinoshita was standing there and watching me again. Terrific.

I was just in the middle of wondering whether I should buy the boots or not when I felt fabric where I put my hand down. I looked down and blinked when I saw a couple of blouses, each a different color and style, folded and ready.

Ah. Right. In all the excitement that was happening I actually forgot about these. Crap.

When I'd first got the coat, I wanted to find a good top or two to pair up with it to make a complete set. Nothing makes an impact like a completely new wardrobe from head to toe and, once I picked out a few pieces I'd liked, the only thing I had left to do was find some matching footwear. Of course, Yukinoshita finally came back right when I was in the middle of that and now I'm trapped with a decision to make.

With the way Yukinoshita had been going on before, I doubt she'd be happy about waiting while I was in the changing room but after putting in all the effort picking them out, you bet I didn't want to just put them all back without even having a chance to try them on. Hrmm, what do I do?

"Actually, do you mind just waiting a bit while I go try these on?" I gave a sheepish smile, it might make it easier to convince her to go along with it, as I grabbed the clothes and held them up.

"See, I actually picked these out earlier and didn't get a chance to wear them before you came back. Just give me a sec to try these on real quick. I'll see how they look and we'll be out of here in no time. I promise I'll be quick about it."

"…pardon?"

It was only one word. Just one lousy word, but the moment I heard it I already knew where this was going.

The look on her face certainly helped. Maybe I haven't known Yukinoshita that long or anywhere near as well as Yui did, but if there's one expression of hers that I was familiar with it was the one she wore when she was gearing up to tear someone down. From how the top of her brows drew together so quickly it felt like they should have clicked, right down to the way her eyes seemed to narrow until her irises looked like shards of ice.

Yep, I knew she probably wouldn't be ok with this even if I asked nicely but seeing it still was a different thing entirely.

"Look I swear I'll be quick about it. It'll take no time at all so just wait a bit and I'll be back in a jiffy!"

"You…" Breaking off, Yukinoshita began rubbing at her forehead again. "Miura-san, I thought we've already agreed that enough time has already been lost from your personal browsing?"

"It's not browsing! I already have them! It won't even take five minutes to go see how they look and then we can go!"

"You can try on clothes at your own leisure anytime. Right now, we have less than four days for you to find a suitable gift for Hayama-kun. There's no time to waste on pointless frivolities. Why can't you simply focus on what's important? Is that truly so difficult for you?"

"Look what exactly is the problem!" I half exploded, though I made sure to keep my voice down. "Y'know, this whole trip you've just been one big downer the entire time! I mean it's not like waiting just a couple more minutes more is going to change anything anyway. We still got plenty of time!"

"You can't know that for certain! We have no idea how much longer it will take to visit the rest of the centre, much less determine what item, if any, will be appropriate for your purposes. Need I remind you that it's not just your own time that is being spent on this endeavor?"

"Yeah, thanks for the heads-up mom." I mumbled back sarcastically and I have to admit, I got a bit of a kick out of the way Yukinoshita sputtered. "Look will you just calm down already? Why are getting so worked up about this anyway? We're here to shop, not work on some… school assignment! If we're not having fun along the way it's gonna be harder to be motivated to look around!"

"Just what kind of faulty logic is that? Having fun? Do you even remember the reason we're here?! Why I even agreed to come out here with you?! We didn't come all this way to enjoy ourselves!"

"Why can't we do both?!"

Ugh, it felt like we were just going in circles! If this kept up, I swear I was gonna start ripping out my own hair at this rate!

"Fine, how about this then!" I threw my hands into the air. "You wanted to split up when we first got here right? Let's do that then! You can go ahead and explore if that's what you want. I'll catch up as soon as I'm done here!"

That didn't seem to help. If anything, it almost seemed to make her even angrier.

"Originally, I thought that to be the best course of action but now I can't help but think otherwise. With your behavior up to this point, how will I know you won't simply continue shopping for your own sake the moment I'm gone?"

What?

What?

I spun around and away from Yukinoshita. In that moment it felt like I couldn't even speak, I was so angry.

I can't believe her! Shopping for myself?! All I wanted was to take, not even, five minutes to try on these clothes I already found! Was that really too much to ask for?! It wasn't like I was forcing her to stand there and wait for me, I told her she could go and do her own thing while I was busy! She's the one who wanted to go off and search on her own in the first place so why am I the bad guy all of a sudden!

I stayed where I was, trying to calm myself down. I took deep breaths over and over but it only helped a little.

"Miura-san. Are you even listening to me?"

Oh for crying out loud! And just when I was in the middle of trying to get everything back under control. The last thing I needed right now was for her to get on my case again! Can't she like, read the mood of something?

Tuning Yukinoshita's voice out, I turned back long enough to snatch up the clothes I'd picked out before setting off towards the changing rooms.

"Look just… do whatever you want, alright!"

I'm fed up with this. Trying to get through to her wasn't getting me anywhere and I was only getting more and more annoyed as things went on. Right now I needed some time alone to get my head back on straight.

"Miura-san!"

Yukinoshita called out to me but I ignored her and just kept on walking. I knew it was rude but I was too worn out at this point to care. Besides, it wasn't like she's acting any better!

I've tried to help her to loosen up, I've tried to meet her halfway, I even gave her a free pass to do whatever she thinks she needs to do and all it's gotten me was getting told off for every single idea I put forward! What a waste of effort! I mean it's one thing if she wanted to be a huge grouch about everything herself, but where does she get off trying to force me to do the same thing! She was worse than a teacher with the way she's been policing me today! Doesn't she realise that kind of attitude is the entire reason why, almost, nobody likes spending time with her?!

From behind, I could hear Yukinoshita making all sorts of frustrated noises. If I had to guess, she was probably working herself up into a big huff about my giving her the cold shoulder.

Whatever.

As long as she wasn't coming after me, she could do whatever she wanted. I'm sick and tired of arguing over something so stupidly meaningless. Nothing I've said was getting through to her and if she was just going to keep on acting like this simply because I chose to enjoy myself then fine, I didn't have anything left to say to her either. I really don't care anymore about anything she might think or say-

"Honestly, if this is how you act for something that's supposedly so important to you then it's little wonder things between you and Hayama-kun have fallen into such dire straits!"

"…!"

I stopped in place instantly.

The sudden shock couldn't have hit me harder if I'd gotten punched in the stomach. My mind simply froze as I tried to process what I just heard. I swore I could actually feel each thud of my heart beating in my chest. My eyes seemed to burn as I stared blankly ahead at nothing in particular. I felt faintly dizzy, like I was having trouble getting enough air.

I don't how long it lasted but a sharp pain in my hands brought me back to my senses and, after easing the grip of my fists so my nails weren't digging into my palms so hard, I took one long, shuddering inhale before letting the air back out.

I turned around.

"What."

I didn't shout. I didn't even raise my voice. I'm pretty sure I wasn't snarling or making any other angry expressions. But, for some reason, that one word I said seemed to have an effect. Yukinoshita didn't seem quite so confident anymore and when she saw my face, she seemed to hesitate and take a step back.

It was the first time I've ever seen her retreat from me.

"I sorry I didn't quite catch that." I made my way back towards her with unsteady steps. "How about you say that again? Nice and slow, to my face this time."

"…perhaps I should rephrase my last statement."

"No, no, no. Finish what you were saying. Go on." I began to speed up and, in answer, Yukinoshita only stepped back further. "You said something about how everything that happened was my fault, right? C'mon. I bet you've got more than that to say. What else did you want to get out? Maybe that I'm a heartless, shallow, selfish bitch who brought everything on herself. Well? Is that it? I'm a bad person who deserves every bad thing she's got coming to her, is that what you're trying to say?"

I was practically right up in her face at this point. I could still feel my heart, pounding away in my chest, so powerfully it felt like it was going to burst. My breath was coming out in short, quick, heavy puffs, loud even to my ears. Even with all this happening my voice still somehow sounded calm.

Yukinoshita looked like she really wanted to be anywhere but here. She seemed off-balance and the expression on her face was more unsure than I could ever remembered seeing. The way her eyes were darting around constantly made it seem like she was doing everything she could to avoid looking at me head-on.

Even so, I didn't let up on my glare for a second. There was no way I was just going to just walk away now. Not after hearing what she just said. I won't.

Yukinoshita closed her eyes for a bit and took in a slow breath. I have no idea what might have been going through her head but when she opened her eyes again, she suddenly looked much more like that haughty, aloof girl that I was so used to seeing at school. The one that always found a way to piss me off.

"Actually, I never intended to imply judgement on whether or were a "good" or "bad" person. But yes, my insinuation was that your lackadaisical attitude may well have been the cause for whatever friction that has occurred between you and Hayama-kun."

She looked back at me with her chin titled up defiantly. By her side both her hands had drawn themselves tightly into fists as well.

I just stared back in stony silence.

"Yeah." I answered back, my voice completely flat. "Yeah. That's what I thought you said."

In the next instant my arm was thrown back through the air in a wild arc. My hand was raised high with palm and fingers extended ramrod straight.

Yukinoshita flinched back violently, dropping down into a martial art looking stance, knees bent with both arms coming up defensively.

With the way we looked right now, squared off against each other, anyone who walked by and saw us would think they were about to witness the start of a massive fight.

Except the attack never came.

The hand I'd drawn back to slap her with was trembling where I held it. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't seem to bring it forward.

I felt like screaming! Why?! I'd barely even been thinking when my arm had first moved! Why was I frozen like this now?!

In front of me, I could see Yukinoshita tilting her head in confusion as well. With the way things were, even that small thing was enough to make my blood boil but, even so, I still couldn't seem to move.

Our standoff continued on like that, neither one of us making another move or saying anything to break the silence. The seconds dragged on, until my frustration finally peaked. I let out a ragged gasp and I forced my fingers to curl and fold back before violently jerking my hand back down by my side.

With it becoming clear I wasn't going to try and hit her, Yukinoshita cautiously loosened her stance though she didn't let her guard down completely.

"You…" I managed to choke out before stopping. My mouth felt dry. Swallowing once, I tried again. "You… you don't know the first thing about me! ...so… so don't… don't you dare…!"

My voice trailed off even as my mouth flapped on noiselessly in the air, unable to find the words to express the heavy mass of emotions I could feel raging inside me.

I stared at Yukinoshita, doing my best to ignore the sting of tears behind my eyes, and she stared right back, her face unreadable.

Eventually, forcing down my rage as best I could, I turned back around.

"I'm going to go try these on. You can go home for all I care."

I couldn't stand being here with her for another second. Without another word, I walked away.

---

How dare she…

How DARE she!

That horrible, no-good, arrogant, hateful bitch! How dare she! I hate her! I hate her! I HATE her!

With a violent tug I yanked the ribbon around my collar loose. With it gone, the top of my uniform loosened and I reached up to undo the buttons holding the rest together.

Just who does that insensitive, smug, self-righteous, insufferable excuse of a person thinks she is! What right does she have to judge me! To go and treat me like I was some kind of criminal! As if every bad thing in my life was somehow all my fault! What could she possibly know about me?!

That snotty attitude of hers was always the one thing about her I absolutely couldn't stand! Going around acting like she was so perfect, as if she'd never made a mistake even once in her life. Then thinking it gives her the right to criticise every single person around her. Always looking down on her nose at everyone like we're all just bugs compared to her. Just thinking about it was enough to make me want to throw something!

Finished with unbuttoning my shirt, I made a sound half-way between a huff and a snarl as I wrestled with the sleeves, yanking and tugging them this way and that in a bid to get them off. Ugh, I was so out of it even something as simple as getting changed was becoming a difficulty!

Hanging up my uniform on the hook at the wall, I grabbed one of the blouses at random and lifted the hem up over my head, not even caring if I accidentally messed up my hair in the process. When that done I turned towards the mirror to see how I looked.

"…"

…hmm. Not as good as I'd hoped. The color went really well with the jacket but, on its own, it didn't really pair that well with my natural looks and it didn't feel all that comfortable either. The ugly scowl being reflected back at me from the mirror didn't exactly help my image either.

Shaking my head, I pulled the shirt back up over my head. Brooding about it was pointless! I need to get my head back on straight! The last thing I needed was to get stressed out all over again

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down. Once again, I began to take deep breaths over and over while in my head, I did my best to remind myself that this wasn't worth getting worked up over. Yukinsohita wasn't worth getting worked up over.

I reached out for the next outfit, a slightly low-cut, buttoned-down cotton shirt with a floral design. I put this one on more slowly, being careful not to wrinkle the fabric as I did so. Finished with that, I patted the clothes down and ran my hand though my hair a couple of times to smooth it out as best I could.

Facing back to the front I twisted and turned in front of the mirror, posing every way I could think of. It was something I'd done a hundred times before but something today just felt off. The clothes looked good on me, in my mind I could easily see how well I could pair with it with my current wardrobe and the new jacket I'd just gotten but it didn't matter. My heart just wasn't in it.

Growling under my breath, I undressed myself again in a hurry and practically threw the outfit on top of the first one. This wasn't working! The entire point of my doing this was to help myself relax and clear my mind.

Of course, the only reason I even needed to relax was all because of Yukinoshita! This was all her fault! Why in the hell didn't I slap her when I had the chance? I should have just let her have it! I mean I wasn't normally a violent person but, after what she'd said to me, I should have wanted nothing more than to give a good hard smack to that, infuriatingly perfect, face of hers! I mean I've felt similar urges for far less whenever I had to deal with her before? Sure, she was also Yui's friend but that wouldn't be enough on its own. Not even the knowledge I learned from bitter experience that she could probably stop any attack I could throw at her without a problem should have kept me from at least trying! I still have no idea why I couldn't-

Argh! I was doing it again! Just what was wrong with me? No matter how hard I tried to distract myself, I just couldn't stop thinking back to my last exchange with Yukinoshita. Even worse was the way her last words were stuck replaying itself over and over in my head like a bad advert jingle!

It's little wonder things between you and Hayama-kun have fallen into such dire straits!

I ground my teeth together with such force it almost felt like I was going to lose a tooth.

Really, what exactly had to break inside my brain to think asking Yukinoshita for help was ever a good idea! She's been nothing but trouble the entire time! Even when I try to be nice to her she doesn't show any appreciation! Why did I waste effort being considerate to her anyway? I mean the only reason I even brought her out with me was to give her opinion on gift ideas but of course she couldn't even do that right! Wasn't she supposed to be this perfect person who was good at everything? If that was the case, why exactly has her advice been so useless! And she has the gall to get on my case?! She's only here for one reason and that's all she needs to do!

Didn't she though? She was the one trying to bring things back on track. You were the one who wanted to keep on shopping for yourself a little while longer.

I gnashed my teeth and pushed that small traitorous voice in my mind away. That kind of thinking was the last thing I needed right now!

I mean fine! Maybe she had a bit of a point about what she was talking about but did she have to be so mean about it! There is such a thing as sensitivity when you're saying stuff like that! And sure, maybe I didn't handle things as well as I could have either but she was the one who started it! I swear, when I heard her words it was just like-

Just like being back at the Summer Fireworks Festival again.

My breath hitched. I stopped my train of thought and tried desperately to keep my head clear but it was already too late. The memories all poured back to the front of my mind in a mad rush.

…

"Yumiko, there's something important I need to tell you…"

…

"How long have you been planning this!"

…

"Did you have fun stringing me along?!"

…

"Because… it's my decision Yumiko. No one else's."

…

All my memories of that night came back to assault my mind in a mad rush. Planting both hands on the wall, I hung my head down low between my arms, trying as hard as I could to get a hold of myself. My shoulders heaved as I panted from the exertion of holding everything together. It was like a great weight was crushing me down in my chest, making everything feel heavy. I swallowed thickly, my throat was stuck and it felt as though I'd throw up if I wasn't careful. Squeezing my eyes shut, I concentrated on nothing but the sound of my breaths.

Slowly, I felt myself beginning to calm down. Bit by bit, my body relaxed as the tension in my limbs bled away. I waited until I was breathing steadily again before I stood up straight again.

Why did I have to be reminded of that again? I'd been trying so hard to put all that out of my mind, at least for a little while, but with everything that's happened I let my guard down and now it was all I could think about.

Not knowing what to do, I happened to glance in the direction of the mirror in the dressing room and caught a glimpse of my own reflection.

I could remember looking better.

My face was haggard, as if I'd woken up in the morning after tossing and turning the entire night. My eyes were red, there was a faint sheen of sweat on my face, my mouth was turned down in a long frown and overall I just looked miserable, which matched pretty well with how I felt on the inside right now.

Maybe…

Maybe the reason why I couldn't bring myself to hit Yukinoshita was because I somehow already knew that trying to hurt her wasn't going to make me feel any better about myself, no matter how much she might deserve it.

I felt a sudden violent urge to punch the mirror.

Damn that Yukinoshita! Did she really think I didn't know everything was my fault! What good was it throwing it in my face like this?!

Covering my face with both hands, I slowly sank down to the floor.

Why did things have to end up like this? It wasn't that long ago when we were all so happy and carefree about everything. I knew it wasn't going to last forever, but I never thought it would happen so quickly. I already know I haven't done anything to deserve another chance, but I still had to try! It doesn't even matter that it won't change anything in the end. I can't let things stay the way they are now! I had to make things right while I still have some time left!

And of course, now I've gone and blown off the only person I had to help me through this. After everything I went through to get Yukinoshita to help, here I was alone again with nothing to show for it. I thought back to how Mom was always been telling me that I needed to think things through before speaking my mind or acting out. Not for the first time in my life, I wished I'd paid more attention to her advice.

Letting out a miserable sigh, I got back to my feet unsteadily. I glanced back at the pile of clothes still lying there off to the side. I'd been so excited when I first picked them out but now, even just thinking about going through effort to put them on and seeing how they looked felt like a chore. I couldn't even muster the energy to feel mad about it anymore. I just felt tired. Burnt out.

Sighing again, I took down my uniform and began to tug it back on. Honestly, I don't even know what I was doing anymore, but staying here in this cramped little room feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to solve anything.

One thing's for sure, I have to figure out where I was going to go next. It was safe to say getting Hayato a new outfit was a bust. It was still early in the trip so the good news was I still had a couple of other ideas to try. My biggest problem was finding the motivation to do everything when I was still feeling stuck in such a funk. Right now, all I wanted to do was go straight home, lock myself in my room, jump into bed and just spend the rest of my night lying there, trying to forget my problems.

But I've already wasted enough of my time sulking and doing nothing, too much time in fact. I'd learned anything from the last month, it was pushing myself to keep going past the misery. Even if I had to force myself and continue to search on my own, I'd do it if that's what it takes. I couldn't afford anything less anymore.

I was so caught up thinking about what my next move would be that I almost ran into someone on my way out. I only caught a split-second a flash of black and heard them cry out in surprise before I narrowly avoided bowling them over.

"Ah! Sorry! Sorry!" I said in a hurry, stepping back a few steps. "I was kinda distracted just now and I didn't notice…"

I trailed off slowly and felt my eyes widening as I found myself looking right into the face of the last person I'd expected to see. Like I was staring into some kind of weird mirror, Yukinoshita stood across from me, wearing the exact same deer-in-the-headlights look I had.

For a couple of seconds, we kept on staring at each other dumbly like that before I managed to recover from my surprise and smooth my expression over.

"Oh, you're still here." I said flatly.

My voice seemed to shock Yukinoshita out of it and she looked back at me blankly as well.

"Yes. I gave my word that I would help you in this endeavor did I not? Your request is not over, so I intend to accompany you further."

Huh. And here I was readying myself to continue this trip all on my own. Should have known she'd be way too proud to give up on something she'd set her mind to. I mean things worked out better for me this way I guess, but I couldn't really find it in me to be thrilled about it either. I mean it's funny. Normally, the mere idea of having to shop around a mall all by myself was something I couldn't stand, but, now that I knew she was actually here, I found myself kinda wishing she wasn't. No prizes for guessing why.

"Yeah, well don't stand so close to the entrance." I grumbled, pushing past her as I did so. "People have to walk here, y'know? I mean are you trying to cause an accident or something?"

"My apologies, I simply didn't want to risk the chance of us passing by one another."

"Yeah, wouldn't want that to happen, would we?" I muttered my breath.

I walked off into the aisles without saying else, only stopping here and there to hang the various blouses back up where I'd found them. Just because I was in a bad mood it didn't mean it was right of me to just dump the clothes in the first place I looked.

From behind, I could hear Yukinoshita trailing after me but I didn't bother saying anything to her. If our last meeting had taught me anything, it was that the best thing for the both of us was to not speak to her unless I absolutely had to. Can't start another fight if we don't talk, right?

Too bad Yukinoshita didn't seem to get the message.

"Are you not going to buy any of those? You spent a considerable amount of time in the changing rooms and you were quite insistent on trying them on."

"Yeah, well I'm not in the mood for that anymore." I muttered back spitefully. "Besides, weren't you making a big deal about me getting distracted on stuff like this?"

I was still determinedly keeping my back to her so I had no idea what face she might be making at me right now but from the lack of a reply, I'd guess she probably wasn't very happy with me for throwing her own words back at her like this. Not that it changed anything at this point.

Once I put the last piece back where it belonged, I took a second to steel my nerves before finally turning to look at Yukinoshita head-on.

"I'm gonna go ahead and buy this now." I said, holding up the original winter coat I'd first showed her. "It'll only take a couple of minutes. Think you can wait that long or is that too much of a waste of time for you?"

"…no. It's alright. I'll wait."

I just snorted back.

Soon we found ourselves at the counter and, a couple minutes after that, we were back out in the open walkways of the mall. Me, walking along with my purchase and Yukinoshita still trailing me from behind, just like she did at the beginning of our trip. It was amazing how fast everything could go when somebody wasn't making a big drama over everything.

Still, for just a trip to our first store, it really felt like we'd spent ages in there. I sneaked a look at my phone and grimaced when I saw the time. Had it really been that long? I mean with everything that's happened, the time had been the last thing on my mind but it was still a bit scary to see how fast the day's gone by. And I'm still not any closer to actually solving my problem either.

Honestly, with the way things have worked out so far, just how much harder are things gonna get?

"Miura-san, before we continue on to the next store, there's something I need to say."

Right. Of course. Why am I even surprised. I should have known that Yukinoshita wasn't about to let things go like this. With how things ended before, I bet she's been itching to give me another piece of her mind.

Stopping in place, I lifted my free hand to massage my head while letting out a tired sigh.

"Yeah? Well, c'mon! Out with it then, Yukinoshita! I'm all ears."

Best just to get this over with. If I push things off here, I'm sure it'll just come up again later and I'll be in even less of a mood to hear it then. Just gotta grit my teeth and let her get whatever she wanted to say off her, flat, chest.

"I- Miura-san, will you please look at me? I understand you're displeased with me right now, but what I have to say is rather important."

Ugh! Of all the- Things really can't ever be simple around her, can they?! I let out a frustrated noise but turned around to face her like she asked.

"There." I crossed my arms. "Happy?"

She looked as far from as happy as she could be, but I did what she asked so she can't complain. I could feel my stomach rolling uncomfortably though and couldn't help but wonder, and dread, what she going to lecture me on this time. It wouldn't be easy but I'd have to try my best not to get pulled into another fight with her. No matter how much of a bitch she ends up acting, she always somehow finds a way to have the last word.

Still, it didn't seem like Yukinoshita had her usual confidence right now. She seemed to be fidgeting in place slightly and even though she sounded so sure when she asked me to face her, now she seemed to be hesitating now. If she were was almost anyone else, I'd even say she looked almost… vulnerable.

Whatever her problem was though, she seemed to work through it and when I saw that glint in her eye again, I knew she was ready to talk. I braced myself as best I could.

"When we last left off, both our tempers were running rather high and that may have resulted in some… unfortunate misunderstandings."

Misunderstandings. Right. That was one way to put it. I could think of a few others but, for both our sakes, let's go with misunderstanding.

"It was not my intention to deride you or your relationship with Hayama-kun nor did I mean to imply any deficiencies with your character."

Yeah, sure you didn't. But if it makes you feel better, go ahead and keep telling yourself that.

"I admit I spoke in haste and chose my words poorly. In doing so, I incited what should have been an avoidable conflict between us."

Get to the point already!

"After having some to time to reflect, I've come to the realization that my behaviour has indeed crossed a line. I realize now that I was being unfairly judgemental about circumstances that I was not aware of and, in doing so, caused you to suffer needless distress."

Right, you're- wait… what did she just say?!

"Moreover, it shames me to admit, but… I allowed my temper to get the better of me, though that's no justification for how I've behaved. Not only that I unfairly took out my own frustration on you, even though you hadn't done anything wrong. It was my fault things ended the way they did, that's why…"

Yukinoshita hesitated and licked her lips. A nervous tic I don't ever remember seeing from her.

"That's why… for both my poor behavior, my general hostility and the inappropriate words I've spoken to you…"

With a single graceful motion, Yukinoshita bowed her head down low.

"…I'm sorry."

"…!"

If I was surprised before now I was absolutely floored! I seriously felt like rubbing my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing, and hearing, things. Was this really happening? I mean I had to be dreaming, or something right?

Yukinoshita. The Yukinoshita apologised to me. To me.

Not only that, she was actually bowing. It wasn't a short bow either, it was full on, one step away from sitting seiza, please forgive me, bow. Her head was bent down so low that I couldn't see anything except the top of her hair right now.

Yukinoshita. The snobbiest, most stuck up, arrogant person I've ever known was bowing to me. Bowing to me and apologising. Bowing to me, apologising and admitting that she was in the wrong.

Just what was going on today?! What kind of weird trip is this turning out to be?

In front of me, Yukinoshita didn't show any signs of lifting her head anytime soon.

Seeing her like this, a low, uncomfortable feeling began to settle over me. Uneasily, I lifted a hand to my chest. Don't tell me I was actually feeling guilty over this?! I mean it wasn't like I made her apologise? Sure I've been giving her the cold shoulder just now but it wasn't like I demanded she bow her head to me or anything! Heck a, not so, small part of me had always wanted to see the day that proud, aloof, ice princess gets put in her place. To see her humbled and humiliated the same way she always did so to everyone else who tried to approach her.

Was this some kind of trick? Is she doing this because she thinks it's what I wanted? Was she only saying all this just to butter me up or something?

But no, Yukinoshita was a lot of things but she wasn't the kind of person who'd give a fake apology just to smooth things over. She always dug in her heels about her opinions, never gave an inch when she was thought was in the right and didn't even pretend to hide it. Every single person in the school knew that much about her.

But if she's being sincere here, if she really IS sorry about what happened… does that mean… even after everything that happened just now… she really still wanted to keep on going? Even after everything that happened? Even after I tried to hit her?

I sucked in a deep breath.

"…No."

Yukinoshita flinched back, but I wasn't done yet.

"No. No you weren't really wrong either." I forced myself to keep saying. "I mean you sure as heck could have put a lot more thought into how you said it but you weren't wrong. Not completely at least. I haven't been taking this seriously even though I'm the one who asked you for help. I've also been wasting your time. I'm sorry too."

Maybe on another day I would have felt good about turning the tables on her like this but I just couldn't bring myself to feel happy about it today.

I've given her every reason to walk away, right down to flat out telling her to do so, and she's still here. I'm sure plenty of people wouldn't think badly of her if she'd just walked away. Heck, if I was in her shoes, I probably would have been gone in a flash. I'd probably even gone right to my phone and spend a good amount of time complaining to my friends or my mom about what an awful person I was shopping with, too!

Instead, she still wanted to spend her time to help me… time she could have been spending with her friends… time she could have been spending with her boyfriend…

Yukinoshita had raised her head by now but she still didn't seem satisfied with the way things have gone.

"…I still had no right to insinuate what I did about your relationships. Not only that, the way I went about it was simply unconscionable…"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it, okay!" I cut in, rolling my eyes slightly. She sure was hung up over this. "Look, you were a bitch, I was a bitch. How about we just call it even at that and move on?"

I fisted both hands and planted them on my hips.

"Now don't get the wrong idea. I'm still plenty mad about what you said to me before, but that's not why we're here. What's important now is we don't waste any more time and find Hayato the present he deserves. That's all we're here we need to do, right?"

Yukinoshita still seemed pretty uncertain about herself but, with the expectant way I was looking at her, she gave a hesitant nod.

"Alright then!" I clapped my hands together. "Let's go hit up some shops then! Just gimme a sec to put this away and we'll get back on track. No more distractions from here on out."

Yukinoshita nodded again and just like that we were off again. I was surprised at how easy my steps felt now. I couldn't explain it but right now I felt, well not good, but lighter, as if some of the burden from before has eased a bit. It was weird but I never actually expected Yukinoshita to do something like this. I guess, in her own weird way, she really did want to help me. Maybe the rest of this day wasn't going to be as big of a disaster as I'd feared.

Something still didn't feel quite right, however.

I craned my head back.

"Hey Yukinoshita? Y'know, like I said before, you don't have to stay behind me like that?"

---

(1) A reference to the Season 3 opening. The idea of it being worn during Prom though, is credited specifically to Chryshauzer and his story "Snippets."

This was certainly a trial to get out! So this part of the story is ultimately ending up much, much longer than I had originally estimated. This is already the longest chapter by far and, by my current plans, there'll be two more chapters to go to cover the rest of the shopping trip.

I originally planned on wrapping this story up in five chapters but that clearly hasn't happened. Moving forward, I'm fairly confident in saying eight chapters will be where things will be finished so there's still a bit to go before the end. Incidentally, the next chapter will be where the full circumstances that have driven Yumiko into seeking out Yukino's help will finally be revealed, so stay tuned for that!

Other than that, there's not much else to say. I hope readers enjoy the chapter and I'll see you next time.