"I'll tell you something about tough times.
They just about kill you, but if you decide to keep working at them, you'll find your way through."
- Joan Bauer, Close to Famous
I woke up by a clicking sound, I jumped up and saw Rick by the door with a big smile on his face, Daryl was still lying down but he was awake as well, and he didn't look that happy.
"Damn it, Rick," I muttered, taking a deep breath. Every sound wakes us up and alarms us now. Being in the prison for so long has relaxed us a bit but you can never be too relaxed during these times.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know this would make so much noise," he said. "I figured this was yours."
I focused on him and saw him holding a big camera on his hands, the one Glenn gave me yesterday during our run, I didn't even remember I had put it inside my bag before all hell broke loose.
"Here," he said, handing me a small picture and putting the camera on the table next to the bed. "Thought the two of you looked cute, couldn't help myself," Rick said with a small smirk. "I'll leave now, need to work."
Rick pushed the curtain aside and walked out of the room. Months ago we got curtains in every cell to have more privacy, they were amazing and they also helped blocking the sun, the one in my cell was a dark brown colour because of that, Daryl's was blue.
I looked down at the picture and couldn't help but smile. I was on my back, with Daryl's hand resting on my stomach and my hands were on top of his. I was actually glad Rick took that picture. I left the picture next to the camera and then tried to get up but I felt Daryl's grip tightening around me. I smiled at him and rested my head on the pillow again.
"I need to go the bathroom," I muttered. "And you are pressing my bladder."
"Sorry," he grunted and released his grip on me a bit.
I slowly got closer to him and pressed my lips against his, he smiled into the kiss and I did too. I stopped the kiss and I heard him grunting in protest.
"Come on," I said. "We need to get up."
After some more tries and a few more kisses I managed to get up, freeing myself from Daryl's grip. I walked to my cell, changed my shirt but kept my jeans on, which I had forgotten to take off last night.
I went outside, spotted Sean and Oliver at a table and joined them after I grabbed some food, greeting my mother and Axel in the process. The boys smiled at me as I sat down in front of them.
After all these months Sean and I became friends, he has stopped acting weird around me and he was now like the old Sean, the Sean I knew before I got separated from the group. Oliver had completely moved on from Teresa and was cheerful again, he even admitted he liked a girl that I found two or three months ago.
I finished my breakfast and headed down to the grounds. Carl and Rick were there as usual. I yawned as I leant against the wooden pig pen, muttering a morning to them.
"Michonne promised she was going to get you some M&M," Carl told me as Rick fed the pigs.
"She's gone?" I asked in surprise, getting sad I didn't have the chance to say good-bye.
"Only about twenty minutes ago," Carl said. "She also said she was going to get us new comics and books."
"Great."
Rick was kneeling, putting plants, along with worms in a container. I put on some gloves and helped him, as I kept repeating how disgusting this was.
"They only took out one cluster yesterday," Carl started casually. "Probably going to need more people today. Maybe we could help."
"I got other plans involving dirt and cucumbers and keeping people fed," Rick told him.
"Well, if you don't want to, maybe I could. Could I?"
"We have other plans," Rick said. "That's what I should have said."
Rick had attempted to live a life as normal as possible, staying away from runs, from guns, from the walkers on the other side of the fence. Rick had become a father figure to me and I'm also forbidden to kill the walkers through the fence but he couldn't keep me from going on runs, he knew I would go crazy if I was locked in here for several weeks without a break.
Rick grabbed the container and walked inside the pig pen, feeding the pigs with what we gathered. Carl still looked like if he wanted to say something else to Rick, but was hesitating.
"Dad," he said. "When can I have my gun back?"
"Worms will give them some extra protein," Rick said after a long silence, I only looked sadly at Carl.
I was going to tell Carl we could go play something after we were done with our chores when we heard a loud explosion, followed by another.
"Get in the tower with Maggie," Rick exclaimed to us. "Don't argue, go!"
I was going to ignore Rick and go help inside the prison when I heard a whistle, Michonne's sign that she was outside. Carl ran to the fence before I could react, I finally decided to go after him, hurrying to the fence as well.
The two of us gripped the rope and pulled at it, opening the metal doors that some people from here had built a couple of months ago, Michonne got in but also some walkers did. Michonne got off the horse quickly, a walker was going straight towards her.
Michonne put her arms on its shoulders, trying to prevent the female walker to bit her, but a second walker was behind the first.
I ran towards her, knife in hand. I stabbed one that was getting close to the horse first and then killed another that was going after Michonne too.
The next thing I saw was Michonne on the ground with the two walkers on top of her, I was running towards her when I heard a gunshot and one of the walkers fell dead on the ground. I only had enough time to see a stunned Carl, holding a rifle before a walker tackled me to the ground, I kicked it, sending it a few feet away from me, stood up quickly, grabbed my knife which I had dropped and killed the bastard for good.
By the time I was done, Maggie had killed the walker that was attacking Michonne. She was not bit or scratch but she was injured. Maggie and I helped her up while Carl took care of the horse.
We were both taking Michonne all the way to the cell when I saw two blonde girls running towards us, they didn't stop until they were right in front of me, wrapping their arms around me and burying their faces in my chest.
Maggie nodded at me, trying to tell me she was all good with Michonne. I let go of Michonne and wrapped one arm around each one of the girls, luckily Carl soon helped Maggie with Michonne.
"What happened? What is going on?" I exclaimed.
"There are walkers inside," Mika, the youngest of the two replied.
"What?" I asked in disbelief, slightly pushing them from me and kneeling in front of them. "Are you two okay? Were you bit?"
I checked their arms first, which were the only parts of their bodies that were exposed. I didn't see any blood on them so I assumed they were okay.
"Come on," I said to them, grabbing their hands and pulling them with me.
Mika and Lizzie got really attached to my mother, she reads to the kids and somehow they see her as a motherly figure, they lost their mother before we found them. And as the relationship with my mother improved and with some time they also got attached to me, they saw me as an older sister most likely.
As I was taking them to my cell and lock them there so they could be safe I saw my mother running towards us, she was distressed and very agitated.
"Girls," she said. "I need you to come with me. It's your father."
The girls let go of my hands and grabbed my mother's instead, she nodded at me before taking them away to block D. I stayed back, Maggie and Carl could need help with Michonne. I ran to them, who were almost in block C. I got to them just as Rick approached us.
"Hey, you might want to stay back," Rick exclaimed quickly as he saw Carl starting to run but Carl didn't run past him but to him, wrapping his arms around his father.
"Carl."
"Dad, I'm sorry, I didn't see you come out!"
"It's okay. I'm here. I'm fine," Rick exclaimed. "But back away."
"I had to use one of the guns by the gate," Carl told him. "I swear I didn't want to."
"I was coming back and I fell," Michonne said quickly. "They came out and helped me."
"Are you all right?" Rick asked her, Michonne just nodded.
"What is going on, Rick?" I asked him. "Lizzie and Mika said there were walkers inside."
"Patrick got sick last night," Rick told us. "It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block." Then he turned to Carl. "Look, I know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people."
Carl looked like he was going to cry, I actually never thought he was that close to Patrick. Rick, then straightened up and looked at Maggie, while I put an arm around Carl's shoulder.
"Glenn and your dad are okay, but they were in there, Daryl is in there too" Rick said, looking at me as he added the last part. "You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while, all of you."
We all nodded at Rick, hating what we were hearing. I let go of Carl and then helped Maggie taking Michonne inside, where we helped her sit down on her bed.
Minutes later Maggie went outside, so she could keep up guarding, while I went for Beth, who was in her cell with Judith. I took Judith in my arms while Beth grabbed some bandages and some non-inflammatory pills for Michonne.
"Did you see anything?" Beth asked us as she bandaged Michonne's right ankle.
"They just started taking out the dead," Michonne told her.
"I don't need to know who yet," Beth said quickly. "I don't want to. I'm glad you came back safe."
"It was stupid. I was so stupid. When I fell on my ass, they should have just left me out there."
I looked up at her. I was on the floor with Judith, who was playing with some plastic re glasses Beth got so she would be entertained.
"We care about you!" I exclaimed. "You didn't left me to die when I was on the floor with a walker on top of me trying to bite me. You didn't even know me and you saved me and now we are like family, I couldn't just leave you there."
"You could have gotten hurt," Michonne said as tears filled her eyes.
"When you care about people hurt is kind of part of the package," Beth told her. Michonne said nothing to her and I didn't add anything else. "Were there any kids?" By our silence Beth assumed there were kids that died today. "Got all these widows and orphans, but what do you call someone who lost a child? You'd think someone would have given that a name."
Judith started crying really loud now, I stood up and hold her in my arms, trying to calm her down, but it wasn't working. Michonne closed her eyes tightly, she looked like she was in a lot of pain and I knew it was because of her son.
"Are you okay?" Beth asked Michonne.
"Does she always cry like that?"
"I think she senses people's moods," Beth told her.
"I'll go feed her," I said quickly.
I walked down and went to the kitchen, set Judith down on the floor while I prepared her a bottle as quickly as I could. I picked her up, sat her down on my lap and fed her, finally silencing her. She cried really loud and hysterically, my head was starting to ache but luckily she calmed down.
Beth joined me and took Judith from me, burping her as the two of us went back upstairs. When we did, I saw Michonne on the floor, her good foot was on the bed and she was exercising, doing crunches. I just gave her a look.
"Seriously?" I exclaimed in a disapproving way. "Well, seeing that you don't need me anymore, I'm going out, maybe they do need me."
"Remember Rick said to not get close to anyone else," Michonne reminded me.
"I'll just be out there, just in case."
I went to my cell to grab my gun. I just have it with me when I go on a run, I do it mostly for Rick and to give an example to Carl, Rick asked me to do it for Carl but I do it for both of them.
When I passed by Michonne's cell again, I saw her in there with Judith in her arms and she was crying. Beth came back and noticed too, she silently walked away. I wasn't sure if I should just leave, like Beth, or go in there and take Judith, maybe say something to her.
I decided to just give her some time, maybe she needed it. I walked down the stairs silently so she wouldn't hear me. It must not be easy losing a child, people say it's the worst kind of pain of all, worse than losing a mother, than losing a father, worse than losing a sibling.
I walked out of the prison and saw my mother walking out of block D, I looked at her and slightly smiled at her, she did the same.
"I'm going to talk to Lizzie," she said, keeping her distance. "She was more upset about a dead walker than the death of her father. Mika said she's messed up."
"Carl told me this morning that they and some other kids had named some of the walkers," I told her sadly. "I was thinking about mentioning it to you, maybe to their parents. Carl said something else."
"What did he say?" she asked as we walked towards the fence.
"Said you have been teaching the kids how to fight, how to hold a knife," I told her, making her stop in her tracks. "And... I think that's a great idea."
"Really?" she asked in shock.
"Yeah," I honestly said as I nodded. "It will give them a bigger chance to survive."
As soon as Carl told me I couldn't help but think that if I had given Sophia my knife or at least told her how to use one instead of scolding her for running away she could have survived.
"Cici," she started, probably knowing what was going through my head.
"Don't," I said quickly. "I know, okay? You should go talk to Lizzie, she's still here."
"Want to come with me?"
"Sure."
Together but still with about eight feet between us, we walked to where the sisters were by the fence, as we walked my mother told me the fence almost gave in, Daryl and Rick had to go outside, take the pigs and give them to the walkers so they could get away from the fence, giving it a break.
She also informed me they thought the virus was something like the flu but it came from animals, like the pigs and birds, I remembered yesterday 'Violet' was sick, so they were most likely right.
"Lizzie, those are walkers," my mother said to the older girl. "Nick was a walker. You don't feel bad about that walker dying. You feel bad about your dad. You loved him and he's gone."
None of the girls turned to look at us, they just kept gripping the fence. It must be hard for them, they had no mother and now their father was dead, they were technically on their own.
"Yeah," Lizzie muttered.
My mother slowly approached the two girls, she knelt down, took her knife and cut some flowers, putting one by Lizzie's ear.
"There," she said.
I could see a smile on Lizzie's lips. I didn't want to keep my distance from them but I had to, I didn't want to get sick, I didn't want to die. Then I saw Lizzie grabbing the knife from my mother's hand and kept it, my mother smiled at it.
"Alright, I have to go now," she said to the three of us. "Will you be okay?"
"Yeah," Mika said and Lizzie nodded.
"What about you?"
"I'm fine," I said nodding. "Where are you going?"
"See what else I can help with," she told me and with that she walked away.
I looked at the two girls, not wanting to leave them alone. I just wanted to take them with me, give them something to eat and maybe play some board game to distract them from the horrible situation we were living but I couldn't take them back to C, where Judith was and I couldn't go with them to block D.
"You should go," Mika told me. "We don't want to make you sick."
"You know that if you need anything you can come to me, right?" they both nodded. "You should go back inside or just stay away from the fence, okay?"
They both nodded again, I waved at them with a sad smile on my face. I turned around and walked away and as I did I saw a fire. Rick was burning the pig pen, throwing his shirt in the fire as well, which was covered in blood.
Carl, who was just walking away from the place, came to me and looked straight into my eyes. He looked down sadly.
"Dad gave me the gun back," he told me, showing me the gun in his hand. "He also got his back."
"I think it's for the best," I told him, knowing that bothered him, but I wasn't sure why. "Now we have a threat of walkers inside, we need to be prepared."
"I know," Carl muttered, looking down at the ground. "When I looked into his eyes, all the peace, kindness and hope that was in them all these month, all of that was just gone. He looked more like before and I'm not sure how I should feel about it."
"He's just scared," I told him, putting an arm around him . "He won't lose his mind again, and if he does, we all will bring him back and I'll be here to keep you safe."
"He told me we should look after each other, you and me," he said, looking up at me again.
"Just like we always do," I told him with a smile.
Carl returned the smile and then hugged me, I hugged him back quite tightly, running my hand through his long hair, I loved his hair so much.
"Are you worried about Daryl?" I tensed a bit at his question. I had been trying to get busy, to keep my mind occupied to not think about it.
"I'm worried about everyone, including him," I told him. "I just don't want to lose more people, more friends."
"I'm worried about my dad," he told me, tightening his grip on me. "What if something happens to him?"
"You won't be alone if that happens," I told him. "I can't assure you he'll be fine but you have to have faith. They'll think of something."
"Do you think we are actually safe?" he asked as he broke the hug and looked into my eyes again. "I mean, I hugged my dad and I was with Patrick yesterday, I don't know."
"We must hope we are okay," I told him. "Mika and Lizzie hugged me today, you saw it. The two of us work with the pigs and we saw Violet getting sick, we could get sick but we have to trust we won't."
As I talked to Carl, I heard a car. I turned around and saw one of our cars coming to the prison, I had no idea who it was but Carl and I ran to the fence, pulled the rope to open the doors, I told Carl to stop them from going any further once they were inside and past the fence. I pulled the rope in the other direction quickly to stop walkers from getting in and ran to the car.
"What is going on?" I heard Oliver asking.
Oliver was out of the car arguing with Carl, Sean, who was in the passenger seat, got out and walked to the other side of the car just as I joined them.
"People are dying!" I told them, they all got quiet and turned to look at me.
"What? How? Why?"
"We don't know but we think there's a virus like the flu and people are dying from it," I told them. "Patrick died and turned, there were walkers in block D and since you weren't exposed like us you shouldn't go there, you should stay away from everybody."
"Who died?" Oliver asked in shock.
"None of us," I told him, referring that none from the original team had died. "But we don't know who died or how many had died, except Patrick and Mr. Samuels."
"What about Ashley?" Oliver exclaimed, asking about the girl he likes. "Is she okay?"
"I don't know," I admitted.
"What do we do now?" Sean asked me. "Who is okay?"
"Michonne, Maggie, Beth, Judith and us haven't been exposed, we haven't gone to block D so we are okay, hopefully," I said. "We can't do much, just being around if they need help. If you don't want to get sick you must stay away from anyone else."
"What were you doing out, anyway?" Carl asked.
"Checking the snares," Sean told him. "We found some good stuff out there."
"I guess we can cook something for the rest, that way we can help," Oliver said. "We can leave the food out there so they can grab it and we still can stay away."
We did as Oliver proposed, we skinned the animals and cooked them. We kept some for us and then put the meat in a big plate, left it outside block D, letting people know and then went back to C.
The four of us sat in the common area where we normally eat all together, but this time it felt really lonely and it didn't feel right. I wasn't even that hungry but I knew I had to keep my strength, especially with a virus in the air.
It was not until almost nightfall when I finally saw Daryl, he looked away from me as soon as he saw me and I felt my heart breaking, knowing that he could get sick and he was just avoiding me for my good but that didn't stop me from going after him.
"Stop!" Daryl yelled at me in a rude way. "Stay away!"
"I already talked to my mum, stayed a few feet away from each other, I figured we could do the same," I said. "I just wanted to know how you were."
"I prefer to not talk."
"Do you feel okay?" I asked, ignoring what he said.
"I gotta," he said simply. "We are moving you and the children to another building, you'll be going into quarantine, so stay away from me."
"Don't you dare get sick, okay?" I said with a small smile on my lips.
"Don't you dare," he said, emphasizing the you. "I have to go now."
"Hey, you have to make it up to me, you know, for being away," I told him. "As soon as everything is back to normal, you will have to sleep in my cell."
He chuckled slightly. "Of course," he said. "You better make me some room then. Cecilia?"
"Yeah?"
He opened his mouth and then closed it a few times, then he shook his head and looked down at the ground, then he looked up at me with a small smile.
"Nothing," he said. "Just stay safe, okay?"
Before I could answer him, he walked away and I couldn't go after him and wrapped my arms around him or hold his hands or anything, it wasn't until now that I was realizing how much I actually loved Daryl and needed him with me. I have him next to me all the time that I never thought about the possibility of having him but at the same time not having him, and it was killing me, painfully and slowly killing me.
That night it was heart-rending to be so alone in the prison. We were just seven in there and we knew that tomorrow we could wake up to find out more people have gotten sick and died.
Carl and I slept in his cell that night, I dragged my mattress all the way down and threw it next to his bed, I turned and turned, not being able to sleep from all the things I had in my mind. I could lose many of my friends, I could lose my mother, I could lose Rick, I could lose Daryl. Actually, we could all die from this.
I went to Hershel's cell, grabbed the bible and opened it at random. We have light now in the prison but we barely use it. I turned on the lamp so I could read. I wouldn't call myself a Christian or anything but I had found something to hold on to and it made me feel more calm whenever I read something from this, and sometimes I would randomly open it and find a verse that exactly describes the situation I am in or the way I feel, which gave me some kind of hope that I wasn't completely alone, and that I was cared and looked after.
I closed the bible after reading a psalm and went back to Carl's cell, I lied down and now that I had read something beautiful and encouraging I finally could fall asleep.
So, more drama is coming, hope the chapter was entertaining :)
Do you think Cecilia will get sick or not?
Btw, I twisted my ankle last week and I have to go to physiotherapy for two weeks so I can recover quickly to be good for my tournament, which is in a month. Any of my readers is from Connecticut or close to it? Any places I should see while I'm there? I still don't know yet but I will be there for around nine days.
xx