"Endure despite the pain.
The key is grace of strength."
? Lailah Gifty Akita, Think Great: Be Great!
The following day I woke up being really hungry, thirsty, and somehow, really cold, probably a second effect of the drugs. My stomach burnt from the emptiness but I was too pride to ask Sean for anything, so I just curled in a ball on the bed.
Last night, I woke up less disorientated and my headache wasn't as bad but Sean was there when I opened my eyes, he was worried about me, apparently he used a bigger dose than he should had and I slept more than he calculated I would. He doesn't even know what he is doing, he could kill me with a big enough dose.
Based on Sean we had been out of the prison for almost two days, people back there should have noticed my absence by now, maybe they are looking for me... Rick, Carl, my mum, Maggie. I still didn't know if Daryl and Michonne had made it back yet but if they were they for sure would be looking for me now as well.
But a part of me was thinking that they could assume walkers ate us and stopped looking for us, I hope they don't think that or that they don't give up on me.
Today I was feeling a bit better, my vision was great, my headache was mostly due to lack of food than the drugs and I wasn't as weak because Sean didn't drug me last night, he was scared something could go wrong with the amount of drugs that had gone into my system, he didn't want to accidentally kill me, I guess that was a good thing.
"We could tell them we had to run away from walkers and we got lost," I said. "No one has to know, Sean."
"We won't go back, ever," he muttered.
"Why not? We were safe there," I exclaimed, trying not to panic. "This house can't be any safer than the prison."
"Safe? People are dying from a stupid virus, they turn and kill more people, do you call that safe?"
"Well, it can't be perfect, can it?"
Some minutes later Sean grabbed my arm and pulled me up to my feet quite fast, my vision turned black for a few seconds but it wasn't like Sean noticed or cared. He took me to the master bedroom, where he apparently was sleeping at.
He threw me on the bed and then went into the walking closet. I tried to slowly stand without being noticed and then run for my life but Sean noticed and he threatened me with his gun. After that he didn't take his eyes off of me, watching my every move. A couple of minutes later he came back holding some grey sweatpants and a light blue shirt, he set them on the bed and smiled at me.
"Apparently the mother was a bit bigger than you, I think her jeans will be too big for you," he told me. "You have gotten too skinny, maybe the daughter's clothes will fit you better but I assumed you will want to be a bit more comfortable, at least now. Now, listen to me really, really careful, I will release your hands so you can change but," he said, grabbing his gun and waving it in front of my eyes. "If you try anything I won't hesitate to use it."
I nodded and then he let my hands free and just sat down on the bed and looked intensively at me, I just looked down at the floor, feeling really awkward and uncomfortable.
"Uh, can I go in the bathroom?"
"No," he stated. "I would change your clothes myself but I need to hold the gun, now undress!"
I stared at him in disbelief, I had never done something so shameful in my life. He kept telling me to do it and I just stared at the clothes and then at the gun in his hand. He sat up straight, looking pissed.
"I'm okay in my clothes," I managed to get out, stuttering a bit and gulping saliva.
"Just fucking change, Cici," he exclaimed. "I don't want to hurt you."
I glared at him before turning around and angrily taking my shirt off. I was about to put the other shirt on when he stopped me as he coughed at me and told me to turn around to face him and to take my jeans off. I bit my lip as I slowly turned, I unbuttoned my jeans and quickly took them off. So I was in just my underwear in front of him.
Not even Daryl had seen me like this, well if you don't count the day we went swimming to that lake, but I had never felt so exposed, so ashamed. I quickly grabbed the shirt and put it on, luckily it was a bit big on me so it reached past my ass. I then grabbed the sweatpants and put them on too, but those things didn't help at making me feel better, I felt like they really weren't covering me at all.
"Good girl," he muttered with a twisted smile.
"What do you want, Sean?"I spat.
"Isn't it obvious?" he asked with a smirk. "I want you."
That made chills go up and down my back and my knees almost gave away, making me stumble a bit. It wasn't like I wasn't expecting that answer, it was the way he said that made me really fear for my life. What if madness ran in the family and he turns to be just like Shane?
"What's your plan? Making us stay here for a very long time, just the two of us and you go for food and supplies on your own while I stay here, tied, locked, maybe passed out drugged?"
"Not quite," he told me. "Eventually you'll get used to the idea and the two of us will go get supplies and we'll survive together, you'll see."
"This is crazy!" I almost shouted. "We won't last long like this! We need more people!"
"We might find some, it's just us now, though."
Sean stood up then, he tied my wrists together again and he pushed me towards the room I had been for about a day. He pushed me into the bed and the closed the door, leaving me on my own again.
This time I could stand up, so I did. I stood by the window, looking out of it. There were about ten houses that looked just the same. There were some cars on the street and if I was lucky to escape I might use one of those, I didn't even know where I was, where I should run to, but the important thing was to just run away, I will worry about finding the way back later.
I had never been in a situation like this before, I never thought I would, especially not after the world turned to shit but here I was, kidnapped by a crazy guy that apparently just wants me, which is terrifying to think.
I stood by the window for hours, trying to come up with a plan to escape but my options weren't good. I stayed there even after dusk, contemplating if I could just jump out of the window or something, I could but I would have to squeeze myself out since the space was too small and it would be extremely risky, I could fall in a bad way and it wouldn't be prudent to escape at night, with my hands tied and with no weapon on, not even a stick or something.
I lied down on the bed, my stomach grumbled loudly, today I got no food or water. I spent all night trying to chew the rope around my wrists but I couldn't see any progress. Eventually exhaustion beat me and I fell asleep.
The next day wasn't any better. Today was the third or even the start of the fourth day since he kidnapped me and as more time passed I lost more hope.
It was past midday when I heard rushed footsteps going up the stairs, Sean ran inside my room, slamming the door open quite forcefully. He looked so agitated and anxious, I only hope the reason wasn't a herd of walkers trying to come in.
"What is going on?" I asked him alarmed.
Instead of answering me he put a cloth in my mouth so I wouldn't talk or scream and then he tied my feet again. He lifted me up and took me to the bathroom of the master bedroom, which was the farthest place from the stairs.
"You make a single sound and I promise I'll kill you," he whispered and as he did, I heard noises downstairs.
He rushed out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him and seconds later I heard he also closed the door of the room. I struggled to break free but as usual my tries were in vain.
"Sean, what are you doing here?" I heard a familiar voice saying. My heart skipped a bit, this was my chance.
"We were sent on a run, I was with a group but a herd made us go separate ways, I spent the night here," he lied.
"Are you alone?"
"Yes, I don't know where the others are or if they are okay."
"How many were you?"
"We were four," he said. "What are you doing here, Carol? Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," my mother exclaimed.
I tried to get up but the time I almost succeeded I slipped and fell on my butt. I frantically tried to free my legs or my arms and tried to scream but any sound that came out of my mouth was way too low for my mother to hear, especially with the doors closed.
"Do you need help?" she asked.
Why isn't she asking for me? Didn't she know I was missing? I thought that after three days of being away people would notice? Or didn't she make it back to the prison that day and never found out I was missing? And if that was the case, where was Rick?
"You should get back to the prison, Sean, it's not safe here."
"I was planning to leave after lunch, just make sure everything was calm enough."
"Alright," she said. "Good luck."
As soon as I heard the front door closing, tears streamed down my face like waterfalls. My own mother was in this house and she just left. She could have saved me but she bought all the lies Sean told her and now she was gone.
Minutes later, Sean walked in again, got the cloth out of my mouth and released my feet and for the first time ever I didn't struggle, I didn't fight, I didn't even move at all. I just kept crying, knowing that my only hope was gone. Sean kissed the top of my head and that only made me cried harder, which actually pissed him off.
"Oh, shut up!" he exclaimed as he grabbed me by my arm and pulled me up to my feet with so much strength I almost fell down again. He pulled me out of the bathroom and then threw me on the bed of the master bedroom. "Don't you want me, babe? Are you going to tell me you prefer that useless redneck over me? You are fucked up, Cici! Can't you see he got you under his spell?"
"Let me go!" I muttered. "Please, my mum was here and you hid me from her! This isn't even about Daryl, she is my family, all of them are!"
"I lost my family too, lost every one of them," he exclaimed angrily. "Do you remember my uncle Shane? He was murdered by your so called family, by Rick."
"I'm sorry but..."
"But? No, there are no buts! He killed him, simple as that."
"Just let me go, I don't want to be here! Why are you doing this? Why?" I shouted. "Why?"
"You want to know why? Alright, let's talk," he exclaimed, grabbing a chair and placing it in front of the bed before he sat on it, looking me directly in the eye. "I fucking love you, Cici! Always have, we spent more than a month in that camp and I started to like you! We fucking kissed, Cici! Do you remember? Do you?"
I nodded at him, remembering what I considered a mistake. I was drunk and Teresa dared me to so I did it. I said nothing but he demanded me to say it.
"Yeah," I whispered. "I remember."
"I was thinking about telling you about the way I felt but then your sister died, not a good time to express your feelings." I wanted to punch him for even mentioning Sophia and in a so careless way. Asshole. "And then you just got lost. I thought you died, we all did and when you got back you hooked up with that good for nothing man, what the hell is wrong with you?"
"What the hell is wrong with you!?" I shouted. "You abducted me! You are keeping me here hostage, those aren't ways to get a girl to like you!"
He only chuckled as he shook his head as if I had just said something comical, then he got on his feet and approached me, I crawled away from him but he grabbed me by my calf, stopping me from getting any farther and then he dragged me to the end of the bed, closer to him, I kept kicking but it was in vain.
He leant in and knowing what he was going to do, I turned my face and tried to get away again but he only chuckled as he grabbed my shoulder and with his other hand he gripped my hair harshly, making me face him again.
"I didn't want to get to this but you made me hurt you, Cici," he muttered. "Now, where were we?"
I tried to move my head as I whimpered but he only gripped my hair more tightly. I did anything I could and I managed to kick him down there, he let go of me for a split second, which was enough for me to move away. Quickly I got up and was ready to run, despite my hands being tied, but I didn't even make it three steps away when Sean grabbed me from behind, lifted me up and threw me on the bed again. He look pissed.
He hit me on my stomach hard, taking the air out of me, as he screamed at me to never disrespect him like that. Then he got close to me again, he gripped my hair just as before and then he just crashed his lips against mine without wasting a second. I didn't kiss him back, I never would but nevertheless when he finished, he had a smile on his face, satisfied with himself. I wanted to cry but I wouldn't give him that satisfaction.
"If we are going to live together I think you deserve to know the truth, the whole truth," he said. "This wasn't a thing that just happened, you know? This was carefully planned for months! I had other things to do but this was the way it turned out, I'm not complaining."
"What do you mean?"
"The plan was always to get you out of there, yes. But I needed other things to be done but when both Rick and Daryl were gone and you stayed behind, I just couldn't miss that chance, could I? It doesn't happen often and everyone else was busy with the sick, besides, it was so easy to trick Oliver, you, and anyone else if I needed to," he said with a horrible smirk on his face. "The original plan was to kill Daryl for stealing you from me, he doesn't deserve you!"
"At least he doesn't have to kidnap me to have me," I spat and he just chuckled but I knew I hit a nerve, his green eyes darkened and he looked uncomfortable.
"Anyway, I wanted to kill him and I still do, I'll have my chance I know," he said smiling. "Another part of my plan was revenge, you see, Rick deserves to die. He killed my uncle, leaving me with no one else, he needs to pay but like I said, I'll have my chance, I'll have my revenge."
"Did you really expect to be able to kill them both? And even if you succeeded, everyone else would kill you for that," I exclaimed.
"Not if you plan it and know where and when to strike."
"I was there that night, you know?"
"What night?"
"The night Rick killed Shane. Shane tried to kill him, so he just acted in self defence."
"That's what he claims but..."
"I was there, I saw it happen. Your uncle was messed up," I told him. "Just like you."
Sean stood up and without warming he just slapped me hard on my left cheek, I didn't even cry out or anything, I was used to it, to show a strong face and I wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing me even weaker, no matter what.
"You know nothing!" he shouted. "You should be thankful both of them are still alive but I will hunt them down and when they least expect it," he raised his hand holding the gun. "Bang."
All the things he was saying were awful and terrible and scary but only a thought was running in my head, if he was positive that he was going to have his chance to kill them, then that could only mean we were close to the prison now and that he will keep close to it until he gets everything he wants, which he will never have. Who does he think he is? Kill both Rick and Daryl? That's very ambitious... too ambitious.
"You know what would be just so sweet?" he asked with a mad look on his face. "Capture Daryl and make him see us kissing, hugging, just touching and he wouldn't be able to do anything. That would be perfect but that would be too complicated."
"You are a son of a bitch!" I exclaimed. "He will find me and he will kill you!"
"You wish," he muttered showing no fear at all. "Well, now you know what I had been planning all these months and let me tell you, I will succeed and you will be there to see them die, after that it will be just you and me, forever."
Sean then pulled me up from the bed, grabbing my arm very tightly, I got a bruise the other day from the way he grabbed me and I'm sure I will get a bruise from this. He pulled me down the hallway and took me back to what he calls 'my' room. Instead of pushing me into the bed like he normally does, he spun me around and kissed me. He broke it quickly and sweetly smiled at me, or tried to, because for me it didn't look sweet, it was scary.
"I love you," he whispered and then pushed me into bed, closing the door and going downstairs afterwards.
I just collapsed on the floor and broke down. I felt disgusting and I couldn't get out the feeling of his lips on mine. I kicked a garbage can out of anger and continued to cry. If only I could forget what just happened.
Then I stood up and looked inside the room for anything sharp but I couldn't find a single object, I checked three times and nothing, so I proceeded to bite the ropes.
Hours later the only thing I had managed was to irritate the skin of my wrists even more, to the point where the skin broke and blood stained the rope, it burnt like hell but I barely felt it, I only cared about getting out.
A little bit before nightfall Sean gave me a glass of water and some canned food. I didn't eat until he left the room, I didn't want to ear or accept anything that he gave me but I knew I needed to eat and drink water.
About three hours after it got dark, Sean walked into the room and I just feared he was going to try something, he got too close to my face I was too focused on preventing to be kissed by him again that I didn't notice he had a syringe in his hand. It was too late when I did notice.
"Why?" I asked almost crying.
"I told you so many things today, you might be mad at me now," he told me. "It's just for now, I promise."
He hadn't drugged me in more than a day and my mind clarity was pretty good, I enjoyed being on all my five senses that were almost as good as always but now I was being drugged again.
"I don't want to do this to you, babe," he said. "I promise but I need to trust you and at the moment I don't."
The drug started kicking, making me really drowsy, I hated being so impotent. I hated knowing there was nothing I could do to fight this, to keep conscious. The only thing I could do was hope to be safe while I was out.
"Any luck?" Carl asked as his father came back to the prison.
"No," he muttered, looking down at the ground.
The healthy people had gone on party searches every day, almost all day long. Oliver felt like shit, knowing he was the one that let them out.
Glenn was feeling okay but was in so shape to go out to look for his friend. He insisted, he said he wouldn't go far and would go on car but no one allowed him to go, especially Maggie and Hershel.
They have looked for Cecilia for two whole days and that first night. Daryl followed their tracks from snare to snare and then saw their tracks deviating to the left, there were no tracks of a single walker next to theirs and he saw no sign of any struggle so he deceived her right there to go another path. He followed all the way to a store where they spent the first night. He found two opened cans of food and one empty bottle of water plus one of Cecilia's hair ties, he knew it was hers because it was a yellow neon colour, she had gotten new hair ties of about five different neon colours about a month ago and she absolutely loved them, she always worn them. Daryl grabbed the tie and put it on his wrist.
From there, he followed one set of tracks about three miles away from the shop until the trace got fainter and fainter, until the point where Daryl saw nothing else. He followed the tracks over and over again, making sure he hadn't missed something, that he hadn't misread a track.
"We'll find her dad," Carl assured him, they were sat on their dining area with some other people. "We will."
"Why are you so sure?" Lizzie, who wasn't far heard, and couldn't help herself but ask.
"She got lost in the woods for four days and Daryl found her. We were forced to go separate ways not long after that," Carl told her. "It took her eight months to find us but she did. It's our turn to find her, we will, I'm sure of it."
"Maybe the third time's the charm," the girl muttered, angering Carl. Mika just grabbed her sister's sleeve and tugged at it to stop her from saying anything else.
"Don't you ever dare say that again!" Carl shouted.
"Carl," Rick said, putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.
As soon as night fell and Rick ordered to get back, Daryl rushed to his cell, lying down on his bed, refusing to see anyone. To be honest he was scared of not being able to find her again or finding her too late.
It would kill him to find her body or looking her as a walker, that would be the worst scenario. Just the thought of her blue eyes turning into the icy greyish shade of the walker's eye and hearing her snarling instead of talking made his heart ache.
"I told her she was of no use and I didn't want her to go," Daryl told Michonne as she leant against the wall of his cell. "I should have allowed her to come, I should have let her. I can't decide for her, you know? She could have been here right now if I had just..."
"Don't," Michonne said quickly. "She could have died on that run, you don't know that, Daryl. Don't blame yourself, it won't do any good."
"I'll kill that son of a bitch!" Daryl exclaimed angrily. "I'll make him pay and if I find out he laid a single finger on her I..."
"Just stop, don't think such things," Michonne told him quickly. "You should concentrate on eating and sleeping."
"I'm not hungry," he grunted.
"I know, I'm not either but we need to have strength to keep looking for her."
Daryl hadn't eaten or slept well since he came back from the run, he couldn't stop thinking about finding her and he was so anxious, he just couldn't fall asleep and he was so scared he just couldn't tell he was hungry when he was actually starving.
"I told you I had a fucking bad feeling!" Daryl exclaimed with a frustrated tone, almost breaking down as he grabbed the picture from the table next to his bed and looked at the two of them, sleeping peacefully in each other's arm. "I just never thought it would be about her."
"We'll find her, I promise!" Michonne said and before Daryl could reply, Michonne spoke quickly. "I'll bring you some food and you have to eat it."
Michonne went down and opened a can of peas and grabbed a piece of meat they had cooked for lunch and took the plate up to Daryl, who at first refused to eat but then Michonne grabbed her sword and threatened him with it. He gave in and started eating, his stomach grumbled as soon as it got some food, Michonne smiled when she heard it. Daryl thanked her for the food and then lied down, and before he noticed he was fast asleep and with a full stomach.
In the kitchen, Rick, Hershel and Maggie were talking and eating dinner. Hershel was still taking care of the few people that were still sick and was quite exhausted, Maggie had been on guard, if Cecilia came back.
"What if she bumped into Carol and they are together?" Maggie muttered, she really didn't believe it but they had to check every possibility, and each one of them was better than the the real scenario.
"What are the odds of them bumping into each other?" Hershel said.
"Besides, you know she wouldn't choose her," Rick said with a sad smile on his lips. "She wouldn't leave Daryl."
"But what if she didn't choose her but she has stayed with her for now, just trying to get her to come back or something," Maggie suggested. "They are finally on good terms, she won't give up on Carol that easily."
"Look, we don't want to believe it but Sean abducted her," Rick told her. "It's hard to grasp the truth but that's what happened."
"How do you even know that?" Maggie asked, refusing to accept that. "We have no proofs of that."
"He lied to her, to Oliver," Rick told her, losing his temper a bit. "He said I ordered them to check the snares, I never did that. He lied and that's suspicious, Maggie. He can't be up to any good."
"And Oliver confirmed what Daryl said," Hershel told them as he looked at the two of them. "Sean has always been in love with Cecilia."
"But that's not reason enough to kidnap someone!" Maggie exclaimed.
"Well," Hershel said in a low tone. "Madness might run in the family, his uncle wasn't right in the head either."
"He had never been that stable," Rick admitted. "The kid has always had problems. His mother was Shane's sister so I met him since he was a baby, he went to see several psychiatrists during his life, I never knew what problems he had but he's always been messed up."
"He looked alright all this time," Maggie said. "Not so much after Shane's death but he got over that phase."
"This is my fault, I should have seen it coming," Rick muttered under his breath, but Hershel and Maggie heard him.
"This is no one's fault," Hershel told him. "The kid's smart, he waited until he had the best opportunity and took the chance."
"Do you think he is capable of doing something to Cici?"
"If what Oliver said it's true and he's in love with her, I doubt it," Rick exclaimed. "He didn't get into so many problems to just kill her, not now that he finally has her. We must hope that. Uh, let's rest, we'll go out earlier tomorrow, we need to find her," Rick said. "Good night."
Hello guys! Who do you think will find Cecilia? Or will Cecilia find her way back to them?
Between, I'm working on a new Daryl/OC video and it's almost done! :)
And on Friday, I will fly to Connecticut! I doubt I will have the chance to update or even check the story so … just because I love you and hate you see you suffer, I will post an extra chapter before leaving. I'm so nervous and excited.
Please wish me luck, I will definitely need it. Some people have trained for +10 years and I have just done it for five, so still a long way to go for me. My opponent is a Mexican girl.