"I know you have baggage, I know you're going to be a pain in my ass,
but I love you more that I ever dreamed possible."
– J.M. Madden, Embattled Hearts
– Present Day
Two more weeks had passed and things were finally starting to fall into place once again. The fence was standing and for the time being it was strong. Michonne had been truth to her word and hadn't left the prison to go look for the Governor, not even once, she hadn't even mentioned it and I was glad and relieved she was finally staying with us.
Rick had gone back to the crops but since the virus spread, he had had his gun all the time, thing he had refused to do for months, but when things cool off again he took the gun from Carl, thing Carl didn't like that much.
Now that there were no pigs or no animals to care for, except for a horse, which we had to brush and feed, Carl and I had been helping Rick with the crops. It wasn't fun but at least it didn't involve animals' poo.
Things between Daryl and I had also improve a lot, we had gotten closer and I'm even more thankful to have him in my life. Daryl and I still don't show a lot of affection in public but lately he has been putting his arms around me or holds my hand, intertwining our fingers even when people are around and sometimes he even steals one kiss or two when people aren't looking, and if they catch us he just doesn't care.
I had also been spending more time with Mika and Lizzie. They needed me as much as I needed them, except I didn't know that until now. They reminded me so much of my sister and for some weird reason, instead of saddening me, it made feel happiness and joy. Even Daryl had joined us a few times as we played, it was comical to see Daryl with them, he has always been good with kids, though. It's me the one that sometimes feels awkward and unsure around them, especially babies.
The only thing that did change and we can't fix is the situation with my mother, even if Rick forgives her and Tyreese doesn't go crazy on her when he finds out it was her who killed his girlfriend, we have no idea where she is but truth is that she got rid of her pride, came here to tell Rick about Sean, even if she didn't know I was in that house and made them go looking for me, if Sean hadn't agreed to bring me here, at least I knew they would have eventually found me, thanks to my mum.
A big part of me wants her to come back. I want to go out there and look for her until I find her, especially now that our relationship was so strong and good, it was better than it had ever been but it seems like destiny or whatever has another plans and just wants us apart.
Currently, I was looking at four photographs, the only ones I had. The first was the one Rick took months ago when Daryl and I were sleeping together, personally, I loved that picture, it was Daryl's favourite.
The second picture was a group picture, it was of Glenn, Maggie, Beth, Daryl, Carl and I. In the picture I was in between Carl and Beth, Maggie was hugging her sister from behind, just as Daryl was doing with me, wrapping his arms around my waist, while I had my own hand on Carl's shoulder and was pecking his cheek while Glenn was attempting to do the same on his other cheek but Michonne, who refused to be part of the picture and instead volunteered to take it, took the picture a bit too soon, so only I was kissing Carl's cheek.
The third picture was a selfie. It took me almost an hour to convince Daryl to pose with me, kind of. He looked serious at the camera while I had my tongue out and winked my left eye, I tried to get Daryl to do something funny as well but that didn't work. And actually in the back of the picture you can spot Carl, who was trying to ruin our picture but got to us just a second too late.
The last picture was personally my favourite one. Daryl and I were in the middle of the courtyard, we were both laughing at something, but I can't remember what. It was almost sunset so the colour in the picture was just perfect, giving it an orangeish shade and warm tone; the wind was blowing our hair and there were three birds flying in the sky behind us, the picture was just perfect and it was none other than Carl who took it.
I smiled at the pictures as I looked at each one one more time, I couldn't just get over them. I wish I could have one single picture of me when I was three or four to show Daryl what I looked like but unfortunately all that was gone.
I put the pictures one on top of another and as usual left them on the table next to the camera. I walked out of my cell and went to go look for Glenn. Luckily I found him in the kitchen, I smiled at the Asian and sat down in front of him.
"What a grin," he said to me. "You're excited about this, huh?"
"Not as much as you assume, Glenn," I told him. "I'm more excited about finally going on a run again."
"Yeah, right," he said rolling his eyes at me.
A week and a half ago Daryl and I kind of decided it was time for me to move to his cell, I had slept there for weeks so naturally we talked to Rick about getting a new big bed for us since we couldn't fit in the one Daryl had, and even if we sometimes manage to fit together, it's uncomfortable almost all the time.
So, Rick authorized the run and we are leaving in a couple days. Daryl and I are going of course, Sasha is as well, she couldn't let this chance go, she loved going out as much as I did, and Glenn has to come because he knows where we should go. Michonne volunteered to go as well, claiming she needed a new mattress too.
"So, when are we going to go?" I asked Glenn.
"We need to bring more gasoline," Glenn told me. "And we have to do that other run, as soon as we get done with that we can go for your new bed, Cecilia."
"Great," I said smiling.
"So," he said in a very casual tone as he tried to hide a smirk. "You and Daryl are getting serious, huh? Don't get mad at me, alright? But I really thought the two of you wouldn't last more than a couple of months. It just... I didn't think you fitted together but obviously I was wrong, it's been like ten months or so and you are still together."
"I know." I nodded at him. "It actually feels a bit weird."
"Why?"
"Because I never thought he would like me, you know and..." I looked down at my hands as I made a small pause. "I never thought I would fall for him."
"I get what you mean," Glenn muttered. "For me it was love at first sight but I never ever imagined Maggie would like me back and now... well, she's my wife."
"Funny, isn't it? We found love in the darkest of times," I said.
"With the least expected people," Glenn added,
Glenn and I were joined then by Hershel, Beth, who was holding Judith, Maggie and Carl. It was lunch time and it looked like they were eating inside today. No one else joined us, not Rick, or Daryl or Michonne or even Oliver, who never misses a meal.
After I was done, I stood up and went outside, Sasha and Tyreese waved at me when they saw me. I smiled at the siblings and waved back. Oliver was eating with some other people, Michonne was in the tower, keeping watch and finally I spotted Rick and Daryl, they were close to the fence, very, very far away from where I was and from anybody else, for what I could see, they were just talking.
I also saw Lizzie and Mika, sitting on the grass not far away from me. I decided to approach them since I hadn't really talked to them today. I woke up pretty early but for some reason felt extremely tired and took a nap until almost midday.
"Hey girls," I said to Lizzie and Mika."Did you already eat?"
"Yeah," Mika told me with a smile. "We ate with Sasha and Bob."
"That's good."
"Do you think you ever will see your mum again?" Lizzie asked me out of nowhere, I was a bit taken aback by the randomness of the question.
"Uh, actually I try not to think about that," I told her as I unconsciously scratched the back of my neck. "But I hope I get the chance to see her again, I miss her."
"I miss her too," Mika said sadly.
"I hope to see her again too," Lizzie told me, looking straight into my eyes. "You have a cool mum, she's awesome."
"I guess she is," I mumbled.
"At least you have Daryl," Mika said with a grin as she looked not at me but behind me.
I turned around to see what she was looking and it was Daryl, making his way to me. Rick was next to Daryl, telling him one last thing before he pat his back and walked to the left, where the prison building lies.
Daryl turned to look from Rick to me after this went his own way. I watched him approach me with a wide grin on my lips. As he walked towards me, his lips slowly curled at the ends until he had a big smile on his face that matched mine.
Surprisingly, Daryl raised his arms, cupped my face and kissed me without warming. I could hear the girls making sounds of disgust and discomfort behind me, making me a bit self-conscious and uncomfortable, making me not fully enjoy the kiss.
"Sorry girls," Daryl said after he pulled away. "Just hadn't done that all day."
Mika and Lizzie said nothing at Daryl, Lizzie just rolled his eyes at him but Mika nodded and smiled at him, being her sweet usual self.
"Well, go for your things," Daryl told me with a wide grin.
"What?" I asked confused. "My things? For what?"
"We are going hunting," Daryl informed me.
"Are we?" I asked just as surprised.
I might be good with the bow now and I had learnt to be more quiet but still Daryl prefers to hunt on his own and I respect that, besides it's not like I enjoy shooting animals. It still gets to me whenever I have to kill an animal and that's probably why I went months without getting food but luckily Daryl did.
"You are taking me with you?" I asked him still in denial.
"If you ask one more time I swear I'll go without you," he told me, giving me a look. "Now go bring your crossbow and let's go!"
Daryl didn't have to ask me twice, I turned around and almost ran inside the prison to grab my stuff and finally go out for a while, I haven't been out since the Sean thing, around two months ago.
I grabbed my backpack, my knife, gun, crossbow and arrows and almost as fast as I got in I left. Michonne, who was going up the stairs at the same time I was going down, noticed my rush and just chuckled at me as I passed past her.
"Quite anxious, huh?" she muttered but I could hear her.
"That's an understatement," I exclaimed just before I exited block C.
When I walked out, I saw Daryl on his motorcycle, it was already on. I approached him and just raised an eyebrow before sitting behind him.
"I thought we were going to walk," I commented.
"We are not going to hunt here," he told me. "If we keep doing it, we'll run out of animals. We'll go a little further."
"And do you think taking me is a good idea?" I asked him, mostly because whenever I go with him we come back either empty-handed or only with a small animal or two.
"You have to learn sooner or later, right? And the only way is practising, so yeah, it's a good idea."
I wrapped my arms around him just before he started driving, Rick waved at us as we left and then closed the gates. It didn't take me even five seconds to feel free once we passed the fence and I was loving it.
Still, I'm not that fond of the motorcycle but at least I don't get that uneasy and scared of it like I did before, instead, I tried to enjoy it. I rested my head on Daryl's back as I enjoyed the view, today seemed so calm. So far I hadn't seen a single walker besides the ones around the prison's fence, that was always nice.
Daryl then slowed down and drove into the woods, making me hold on to him tighter, until he completely stopped and turned the engine off. I got off first, followed closely by Daryl, who put some leaves on top of the bike to hide it just in case.
"We'll leave it here," he informed me. "We don't want to scare the animals away with the noise."
Daryl led the way, being extremely quiet and alert, not only because of the animals but because of the walkers too.
About ten minutes later, Daryl spotted a squirrel but I stepped on a twig and it ran just as Daryl shot an arrow at it and because of me he missed, he just turned to give me a look.
"I'm sorry," I muttered with a fake innocent smile.
"You'll shoot the next one," Daryl told me simply.
"Alright," I whispered.
It took us about five more minutes to spot a bird. Daryl pointed at it with his index finger, I raised my crossbow, narrowed my eyes and just as I was about to shoot, it flew away, seeing I didn't try to shoot it, Daryl did it and the bird fell down to the ground, dead.
Daryl smirked, grabbed the bird and put it inside a bag he brought specially for the animals we were going to hunt. Minutes later I saw a possum before Daryl, I didn't even let him know, I just pointed at it and shot it, by the time Daryl saw it, the animal was already dead, I just smiled proudly when he turned to look at me. Daryl picked it up and then put it in the bag as well.
"Not bad," he complimented.
"Thanks," I said proudly. "First time I get something so quickly."
"You'll do even better next time."
Daryl then took my hand in his, which was quite shocking, usually when we go out hunting or on a run we are close to each other but never hold hands in case we need to shoot something quickly but for some reason he just did it now and I didn't complain.
Minutes later I saw a squirrel not far from us but Daryl let it go. I assumed he wanted me to kill it so I let go of his hand and was about to raise my crossbow but Daryl just grabbed my hand again and shook his head at me. I just looked at him funny, wondering why he let it go but he said nothing to me, he just started walking again so all I did was follow him.
"Daryl?"
"Hmm?"
"Can I ask you something?" I said almost as low as a whisper, Daryl just turned to look at me and nodded. "If this is ever over, if they find a cure and the world goes back to what it used to be, without walkers and having to hide and run for our lives and you could go back to your old life, what would you change?"
"What do you mean?" Daryl asked, stopping in his tracks to look right into my eyes.
"There must be something about the way you lived before all of this that you regret, that you would want to do differently," I told him. "So Daryl, if you had the chance to go back to your old life, what would you change about it?"
"What wouldn't I change?" Daryl said with a sarcastic laugh as he started walking again. At first I thought he wasn't going to say anything else but as soon as I started to follow him, he spoke again but in a quieter and softer way. "First of all, I wouldn't go back to my old life. I'd try to make my life have a meaning, you know? Make it worth living for."
"Sounds goo..."
"And," he said quickly. "After all this time I've lived with this group and have so many people around me, I think I wouldn't be able to live on my own, especially now that Merle is gone. Actually, even before we found the prison, even before I lost him, I thought about it and realized I would need someone to spend time with me. I thought back then that I'd love to find a girl to make me company, to be there for me, and to share my life with. I know I'm making it sound like I want someone to cook for me, to do my laundry and do the chores but I mean more like someone I could feel comfortable with and spend our time doing things we both enjoy. Just someone that could love me and I could love too, someone that could give my life a meaning and I could give a meaning to that person's life... that was something I thought would be next to impossible but then you came back into my life and now I've got you. So that's what I would change, I wouldn't be the lonely, cranky, rude redneck that I was because I would have you and... well, it's nice to feel helpful, to know that people need you, that people care, so I would do something for the good of everyone, you know?"
I smiled and even blushed at his words, I was flattered he considered me so important and I was also so happy that even when things were awful now, they had changed Daryl for the better. Before, he was miserable and alone, now he was an important person in the group and lots of people look up to him, he's so loved, not only by me but by everyone and I think he has finally almost filled that empty heart of his that was almost broken beyond repair by his family.
"I've realized being alone is not a way of living, you know?" Daryl said shrugging, stopping once again to look at me. "And we must help each other. Anyway, what would you change?"
"I would enjoy every moment and every single thing I have because I always took lots of things for granted, including friends, family and opportunities," I told him as he once again grabbed one of my hands. "Also, I would at least try to not get upset so easy and not hold grunges against people. Being mad all the time is not a way of living either. All my life I wasted it being upset at my mother and father, even at Sophia for getting all the attention when she was younger, and I hated my parents and that was eating me alive, I wasn't really living. I was bitter and couldn't enjoy anything. So, I would change that."
"You have gone a long way," Daryl told me, giving me a peck on my forehead. "You have already forgiven your mother and I know how hard that was. I still haven't forgiven my parents, who knows if I ever will."
"I haven't forgiven my father yet either but I'm close," I told him with a small smile. "Michonne said that maybe that happened to me because I needed to be strong for this, to survive this world, because if my father hadn't done what he did, I wouldn't have learnt to defend myself and survive. You wouldn't have learnt to fend for yourself and live on your own, to not depend on anyone. That kind of thought helps a bit."
"Just a bit," Daryl whispered, nodding at me before he started walking again.
As we kept getting further into the woods I felt like I recognized the place, which was weird. The entire woods looks the same but for some reason I felt like I had been here before. I was about to tell that to Daryl when I saw a beautiful lake in front of us, so that's why I felt I had been here before. This was the place Daryl brought me about a year ago, before we started dating, before we stopped talking to each other because I kissed him and ruined our first kiss.
"The lake," I whispered a smiled formed in my lips. "I had forgotten about it."
"Yeah," he said. "Stupid walkers ruined my whole plan."
"And then I ruined it even more."
"Yeah, but that's in the past," he told me as he leant closer to me and pecked my lips. "I wanted to come here again but we won't swim today, though."
"That's fine," I told him. "It's a bit cold anyway."
Daryl said nothing more, he gave my hand a squeeze and pulled me with him as he started walking around the small but beautiful lake. I even saw a tiny, colourful fish jumping out of the water for just a second or two, making me remember that there is still life in this world.
"Cecilia," Daryl said softly as he looked down at the lake next to us, he had slowed down the pace. He bit his lips for a second as he made a short pause. "What I said earlier, about what I would change about my life, about wanting to have someone by my side, I really mean it."
Daryl fully stopped once again and turned a bit to his right so he was facing me now, I did the same but to my left and just looked at him with a puzzled look on my face. Daryl grabbed my other hand so now he has holding both of them, He looked down at them, refusing to look up at my face for a long while.
"I love you, Cecilia," he said as he finally lifted his gaze and looked into my eyes, that now probably looked even bluer than usual because of the reflection of the lake that was in front of me. He let go of one of my hands and started searching for something in his back pocket, he found it and took it out but he kept his hand closed in a fist so I couldn't see what he was holding at the moment. "And..." he muttered, making me look from his hand to his piercing blue eyes, but he said nothing for a while, lowering his gaze again.
"What?" I asked. Daryl cleared his throat and then met my gaze once again.
"Annika Cecilia," he said clearly and with determination, his nervousness seemed that had washed away in a matter of milliseconds. "Will you marry me?"
I gasped in complete astonishment. He looked down as he raised his closed hand, so I looked down too. He opened his hand and right there in his palm was a beautiful silver-coloured ring with white and light green stones on it, covering more than half of it.
I stared at the ring in disbelief, I couldn't believe this was happening. If I wasn't as stunned as I was, I would have pinched myself to check if this was really happening or not, but I couldn't even move. It was hard enough to believe Daryl liked me and was dating me but proposing to me was a complete shock, I never thought this day would come.
"I don't mean to pressure you but what do you say?" Daryl asked with a nervous smile on his lips. "Will ya?"
I looked from the ring in his hand to his eyes and smiled brightly at him. I tried to say yes but I couldn't form the words so I just nodded at him with the biggest smile I ever had. Daryl smiled too and sighed out of relief. He grabbed my left hand and slipped the ring in my finger, it fitted perfectly.
I wrapped my arms around Daryl's neck at the same time he wrapped his around my waist and we kissed, I couldn't help but smile the whole time.
"You planned all of this?" I asked, still in shock but still smiling.
"Just a bit," he said shrugging in a modest way. "The place just popped into my mind. I didn't want to do it in front of everyone, I wanted some privacy... In case you would say no."
"Stop," I said, giving him a look. "I could never say no to you."
I smiled more at him before I wrapped my arms around his waist instead of his neck and rested my head on his shoulder, seconds later I felt him resting his head on top of mine.
"I love you, Daryl," I whispered. "So, so much."
"But I love you more," he whispered back. "I don't really want to end this moment but we need to get back, I don't want walkers to ruin this perfect day so far, so, let's go."
Daryl's arms fell to his sides and before we started walking back, I grabbed his hand and intertwined our fingers. I was so thankful we hadn't seen or come across any walker today, it was like the universe was helping us making this day perfect and worth remembering.
"Are we going to tell the others?" I asked him as we were getting on his motorcycle again.
"We can wait some days if you want to," he told me. "Rick knows, though."
"So that's why he smirked and looked at me weirdly when we left?"
"Probably," Daryl said shrugging.
Daryl started the engine and before anything bad could happen, he drove away, quite fast this time. The sun was going down as we made our way back to the prison, it was a beautiful view, even making the whole day better, the sky was different shades of pink, orange, purple and blue but that also meant that everything was getting even more dangerous, night time was always more dangerous, so we needed to hurry.
When we got back, Glenn opened the gates for us, while from the tower, Maggie was shooting some walkers that were too close to the entrance.
We got back just on time for dinner. I sat next to Daryl and Rick, nobody seemed to notice the ring, which I was refusing to take off, I was thinking about wearing it forever, but they all noticed the grin on my face. Daryl, though, was acting like his normal self, he made casual talk with Rick and others around him and not once he grinned like an idiot, like I was doing.
"What's up with that smile?"
"You have been smiling since you've come, what is going on?"
"Cecilia, you seem happy today."
"What happened? You seem like you just won the lottery."
"Or like you just found the cure to this."
"Seriously, what's up?"
Those were some of the questions and comments they all said but Daryl and I said nothing about what really happened and instead I said I was so happy because I finally managed to hunt something and Daryl said that I had done pretty well compared to previous times so everyone actually believed us. They knew Daryl wouldn't lie to make me feel good, he was actually a ruthless critic. If I wasn't doing something the right way, he always told me, before trying to correct and help me.
When we were done, Daryl and I went straight to bed while the others stayed a bit longer to chat. We hadn't gotten our bigger bed yet but we had put two mattresses on the floor for now and it worked.
Daryl was lying on his back while I was resting my head on his chest, lying on my side with my eyes closed. I almost fell asleep when a thought crossed my mind, making me open my eyes and sitting up, Daryl opened his eyes to look at me.
"When did you get the ring?" I asked him.
"A while ago," he said simply.
"It was that time you went with Rick on that run, wasn't it?" I said. "The time you didn't let me go with you and refused to tell me what you were looking for."
"Yeah," he said with a sigh.
"I feel bad now. I acted like a bitch, I even got mad at you," I muttered, feeling ashamed of the way I acted. "I'm sorry."
"You didn't know, I understand you were feeling a bit anxious about having to stay back. I got it but I knew I couldn't tell you why I couldn't take you with us. Besides, you needed to be pushed out of your comfort zone, I'm glad you have improved since them."
"That's why Rick knows, because he helped you that day."
"Yeah, partly," he said but refused to elaborate. "Now let's sleep, we don't know what we will have to do tomorrow."
"Good-night, Daryl, " I whispered as I lied down again next to him.
"Good night," he whispered, giving me a kiss.
They are engaged! Who's happy about it? What do you think of the way Daryl proposed? I'll show a picture of the ring in the next chapter.
Yesterday's new episode was actually really good, but apparently someone is going to die in the next episode. Who do you think it's going to be?
This week I have a tournament, but after that there will be no more training until January so I'll have a lot of free time. I might go back to reading, writing more, or editing more videos. Or do marathons on Netflix. I feel like reading because I think I haven't read a single book this year. Any recommendation?