"Behind every beautiful thing, there's some kind of pain."

- Bob Dylan

Carl's POV

"You must be starving," Dad said to Michonne about an hour after she found us. "Have you eaten anything these days?"

Michonne said nothing, she just shook her head, her eyes glittered with tears. She had broken down twice since she came here because she was so overwhelmed she actually could find someone, we decided to not interrogate her any further for now, instead we let her settle down a bit.

Before my father could turn around to see what food we could give to Michonne, I grabbed the bag of cereal and gave the last portion to Michonne, serving it in another bowl and handing it to Michonne, who smiled and thanked me before she started eating.

"Any plans for today?" Cecilia asked as we all sat on the sofa, breaking the silence. Michonne was in between Cecilia and me, my father was next to me, thinking about her question.

"Michonne just got here," he told us all but mostly to Cecilia. "We should take it easy today."

"Okay, in that case I'll go upstairs and rest for a bit," she told us as she stood up.

"Cecilia."

She turned to look at my father, who looked at her with a concerned look. He leant to the side and grabbed her bowl, which still had around half of the cereal I served her earlier. My father looked from the uneaten food to her, silently asking her about it, I knew that look so well.

"I'm fine, Rick," she assured him. "I'm just not that hungry."

"This is the first thing you have eaten, Cecilia! What has it been, three, four days?" he exclaimed. I wanted to tell him this was our fourth day since everything happened but I didn't dare say anything. "You need to eat, you need to regain strength in case we have to flee from here, in case we have to fight."

"I know," she told him calmly. "Wake me up for lunch."

"Cecilia!" Dad yelled as he jumped to his feet.

"I just need a little nap."
Cecilia turned around and went up the stairs quickly like a teenager that had just been scolded and didn't want to know anything else about the topic. I heard my father sigh next to me, he set the bowl on a coffee table that was on the middle of the room before slumping down on the couch again.

"Dad?"

"Yes, Carl?"

"Is Cici alright?" I asked. My father sighed again but didn't say anything for a while.

"I'm sure she's fine," Michonne told me, wrapping an around my shoulders. "Let's give her some time and then I'll take her some food."

"I think she's getting sick," I told the two adults, who turned to look at me. "Remember her stomach ache, dad? And when you were unconscious she locked herself in the bathroom all day long. I heard her crying and she hasn't eaten, dad!"

"I know," he said nodding as he ran his hand through his beard as he stood once again. "I know, Carl. She told me all about it, she explained to me everything that happened while I was out. I think she's just sad, she must miss Daryl a lot, Carl. I'm sure there's no need to worry."

"But dad being sad doesn't cause stomach aches."

"I think she's just in shock," Michonne told us. "We all are but we take it differently. It explains everything perfectly, being in shock can cause mental symptoms as well as physical ones like lack of hunger, nausea, aches. She'll be fine."

"Really?" I asked her.

"Really."

"I think that makes sense," my father exclaimed, he looked at me and then turned to look at Michonne. "It has happened to her before. She stopped eating, talking, even living when her sister died."

I looked down at my hands sadly, it had been almost two years since Sophia died but the image of her walking out the barn still haunts me. I was so naïve and young back then that people never told me what really happened to Cecilia, they just told me she was sad and that I shouldn't push her to play with me.

"Beth even got a fever, the two were the same, she lost her mother and brother," my father informed Michonne, who had no idea about that day in the barn. "Let's just not let her touch bottom because the one that brought her back from there all that time ago was Daryl and now she's like this because of him and everything else, but mostly him."

"Let's give her some time alone and let her rest, she must not feel well and then we must keep her occupy," Michonne exclaimed. "We must make her do anything, to keep her mind from thinking bad things and remembering stuff."

"Alright," my father said as he nodded. "But no matter what I'll make her eat by lunch, she has to eat."

"I agree." Michonne nodded.

"But dad, she'll be fine, right?"

"We have to assure that, Carl."

When Michonne finished her breakfast and she seemed more calm about the whole thing, my father decided to now focus on her instead of Cecilia. We all moved to the kitchen as Michonne took her empty bowl there.

"Michonne, how did you find us?" my father's distressed face disappeared and now he had a smile on his face.

"I found some shoe prints," Michonne said with a smile. "Different sizes, I didn't know who I was following but I really hoped I was going to find you," she said as she turned to look at me. "I still can't believe I did it."

"How did you even escape?"

Michonne and the two of us sat down and she started telling us everything from the very beginning, since she left the prison with Hershel and how the Governor kidnapped them and took them to his camp, then she told us how she cut the ropes around her hands and how she went unnoticed by using two walkers as her bodyguards after she escaped from the chaos, she told us pretty much everything until she found us and she only broke down one more time.

Cecilia's POV

I had woken up about half an hour ago but didn't want to get out of bed yet, I closed my eyes to try to fall asleep again but this time it didn't work, so I just ended up rolling in bed, trying to suppress painful memories and thoughts.

I opened my eyes and looked behind me when I heard a soft knock on the door even when it was open. I saw Michonne then with a green bowl and a spoon, she also had a glass of water in her hands. She smiled at me as she made her way towards me.

I turned my head again, maybe she would leave me alone but she didn't, instead she sat in the little space left on the bed, sitting in front of me and putting the bowl and the glass on the night table. I kept lying on my side, refusing to move, even to stop facing Michonne.

"Are you okay?" she asked me, I bit my lip because a part of me wanted to tell her I wasn't okay at all and another part of me didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm just tired," I mumbled, looking at the wall in front of me, refusing to look at Michonne. I was ecstatic that she was back but I didn't want to talk about it and I was afraid that if I saw her eyes, I would crack and spill everything.

"Is it true you haven't eaten since...?"

"I just can't eat, Mich," I whispered. "I'm seriously not hungry at all and I got nauseas since last night. I think I may be getting sick."

"That nausea was caused by not eating, once you do, you'll feel better," she assured me with a smile as she put her big hand on my forearm.

"I have a headache," I admitted. "I thought it would improve but it only got worse, every time I move I feel like my head will explode. That's why I came here to rest."

"Well, as I said, not eating and drinking water caused that," Michonne told me. "So eat and drink the water and I'll look for some pills to help you but I won't leave until you eat."

Reluctantly I sat up and looked at the bowl to see what Michonne had brought me. It was soup. I grabbed the bowl and started eating it, when I did, Michonne smiled at me in a satisfied way and she stood, going inside the bathroom to check for any kind of pill to help with my headache.

Luckily Michonne did find something, it caducated about six months ago but it could still work, so once I finished my soup Michonne finally gave me the small pill and once I took it she made me drink the whole glass of water, telling me I got the headache because I was getting dehydrated.

"Carl is really worried about you," she told me.

"I know." I nodded. "I'll be fine, I just... need some time."

"I understand," she softly said to me. "I'll leave you alone, maybe you can rest some more time. If your headache doesn't stop, call me. I'll see what else I can find."

"Thank you."
Michonne smiled at me before she stood up and took the now empty bowl and empty glass. Honestly, I felt just a tiny bit better now that there was something in my stomach.

"Mich!" I exclaimed, turning around to see her almost out of the room.

"Yeah?"

"You should take a shower," I said with a small teasing grin. "You smell."

"I know," she said chuckling. "I don't think just a shower will be enough. I'll wash my shirt as well, speaking of it, what the hell are you wearing?"

"It was either this," I said, referring to the boy's shirt I got. "Or an old-fashion shirt from the mother that lived here, not my fault that a girl my age didn't live in this house."

The boy that lived here probably was tall for his age and probably had a few extra pounds because his shirt wasn't tight or short, actually it was just right, it was even a bit loose. It may be too childish but I had nothing else to wear at the moment.

"At least it looks comfortable," Michonne muttered before she left for good.

I did as she told me, I tried to sleep even more and now that my stomach was full and I had taken that pill, it didn't take me long to fall asleep once again.

When I woke up again, I noticed it was slightly darker, maybe around 16:00. I sat up with a groan and stretched, my upper back cracked when I did. I rubbed my eyes and decided to go downstairs, I had slept all day long. I stood up and slowly went downstairs, where I found Michonne, Rick and Carl.

"Hey," I muttered, earning their attention.

"Oh, hey sleeping beauty," Rick said as he slightly chuckled. "How do you feel?"

"I feel like... if I had slept for seven days in a row," I told them. "And still tired."

"How's your headache?" Michonne asked me.

"It's gone," I said with a smile right before I took a seat next to Rick, who looked relieved and glad that I finally decided to wake up from my slumber. "And... I'm actually a bit hungry."

"Great," Rick exclaimed as he put a hand on my shoulder. "You can finish your cereal, it's right there."

Rick pointed at the coffee table in front of me where my bowl lied, I stood up and picked it up before sitting next to Rick again. I ate the whole thing in just a matter of a few minutes, Rick even made a joke about it.

Carl, who was busy reading a book, closed it about half an hour after I finished eating and left it on the coffee table, then I saw him hesitate in the spot, it seemed like he wanted to do something but wouldn't dare to do it. I watched him but said nothing to him, and Michonne and Rick were too engage in a conversation to notice him.

"Uh, I have something that belongs to you," Carl said after a long time of hesitating. He approached me and stood right in front of me, making me look up at him. "I have kept them from you because I didn't know if by giving them to you it would make more bad than good but I think you deserve to have them."

Carl searched in his back pocket and before giving whatever he had to me, he looked at it intensively, then he shook his head and handed the object to me. I extended my hand to take it and as soon as I saw what Carl was giving me I gasped.

"How do you even have them?" I asked as I looked at the three pictures now in my hands.

"When I went for your crossbow I saw them right next to it and I knew you would like to keep them," Carl told me with a sad smile. "Except this one," he said, showing me a picture of the two of us that was taken only a week before the prison was destroyed. "I'm keeping this one for now."

"Sounds fair," I told him. "You got them so you must keep one."

"Cool," he said with a huge grin and then walked to his father to show him the picture.

I looked down at the pictures in my hand and realized why Carl looked at the picture sadly before giving them to me. The picture on the top was the one with Maggie, Beth, Glenn, Carl, Daryl and I. I felt how hot tears filled my eyes as I looked at my friends and the people who have become my family. I wasn't sure how many of them were alive or if they were all dead.

I put that picture on the bottom and the next picture was more recent that the one before. It was a selfie and you could only see half our faces. In the picture I could see Daryl's eye so well, the eyes I loved so much and got lost in every time I looked into them. I took a deep breath as I put this picture on the bottom, not wanting to think it might be possible that I'll never see those eyes again.

I knew I had more pictures, those probably got though, lost but I was glad Carl recovered these. Especially because the last picture was my favourite one and as soon as I looked at it, the first tear fell down my face. It was the one we were in the middle of the courtyard, we were laughing at something. This one was my favourite because we weren't posing and it showed our true happiness.

Now I understand why Carl didn't want to give me the pictures, he knew I would eventually break down. I remained strong all these days, except the day I locked myself in the bathroom for several hours but I didn't let any of them see how broken I was but now I couldn't stop the tears from falling down.

Soon, I felt warm arms around me. I was silently crying but Carl noticed, he sat next to me, still hugging me, and rested his head on my shoulder and I rested mine on top of his head and hugged him back. I tried harder to stop but now that Carl was holding me, it only made me cry even more.

"I miss him," I admitted in a hoarse voice. "I miss them all."

I knew our lives were in danger all the time, twenty-four/seven, I knew people will always die and we couldn't do anything about it but I got to a point where I actually believed Daryl and I were always going to be together and if one of us died, it would be me.

I never even got close to imagine that our home was going to get destroyed and get us separated like this. I never thought I would be sitting in a house wondering if he was alive or not, and if he was alive, wondering where he was and if he was okay or injured or if he was with someone else or all on his own. For his own good I did hope he had escaped with someone.

Michonne was pretty affected by being on her own those three days, it must have been horrible to have no one to talk to and not being able to sleep at night because there was no one else to keep watch.

"I miss him too," Carl told me as he tightened his grip on me.

It was not until then that Michonne and Rick finally realized I was crying and that Carl was at the verge of crying too. Michonne sat next to Carl and ran her hand up and down his back to comfort him while Rick knelt in front of me.

He was going to grab my hands when he saw I had the pictures in my left hand. He smiled sadly at them before grabbing them and putting them down on the sofa next to me and then he proceeded to grab my hands with his.

"I shouldn't have given them to her, I'm sorry," Carl muttered.

"No," Rick told him as he looked at his son. "It's better that she looked at them now and it's okay to cry, you know?"

Rick pulled me into a hug, running his hand up and down my back as I just cried harder. Carl let go of me and instead wrapped his arm around himself, and I did the same, wiping my tears from time to time.

"I should go look for him," I said as I slightly pushed Rick away and tried to get up but Rick didn't let me. He put his hands on my shoulders and looked right into my puffy, bloodshot eyes. "I have to find him, Rick."

"I know and you will but I can't let you go now."

"I was separated from him, from all of you for eight months," I told him as I sniffled and dried my eyes once again. "I can't let that happen again."

"Cecilia," Rick said trying to get some sense into me. "Look outside, it's getting dark. I can't let you go outside right now. We'll sleep, get some rest and tomorrow we'll make a plan, I promise."
"What if by morning it's too late?" I muttered as I once again tried to stand up but again Rick pushed me down.

"Daryl can survive," Rick assured me. "He'll be okay."

"You don't know that," I told him. "He can be dead for all we know but I just... I have to try."

"You slept all day long today, you just ate after days of refusing to eat. You're not ready yet, let's spend this night here and we'll see what happens tomorrow."

Rick stood up, patted my shoulders and went to sit where he previously was, I just looked down at my hands, I knew Rick was right but I wanted to go out and look for him right now.

I stared at the door that was still tied with the knot Carl did, so I wouldn't be able to leave through there in case I decide to leave, besides I would have to move the sofa as well, by then Rick would notice and stop me.

"You can't leave me," Carl whispered, almost as he could hear what I was thinking. "You promised."

"I know," I said in defeat, more to myself than to Carl, remembering the time I promised Carl I would never leave him again. "I won't."

Later that night, the three of them ate dinner, I grabbed two crackers because I was full from the cereal I ate earlier. They were all glad I was eating again and sincerely, I felt so much better now that I had eaten.

I got a bit of nausea about an hour after eating those crackers and the headache came back after I broke down but it wasn't as intense as the one I had during this morning and afternoon. And the shots of pain I had been having in my stomach hadn't come as often and they weren't as strong as the first three days, they improved since last night to be honest.

As time kept passing by, Carl fell asleep upstairs in the boy's room with the book he was reading on his chest. I took the book, left it next to him and put a blanket on top of him. I smiled down at him before going downstairs and join Rick and Michonne.

"You should two sleep," I told them. "I'll stay up, keep watch, I'm not even sleepy or tired."

"I'm not sure if I should trust you to be alone here," Rick admitted, looking right into my eyes.

"If I say I'll keep watch, I will," I told him in a serious tone. "Yes, I want to leave and look for Daryl but I won't escape in the middle of the night when I say I'll be doing something else, you have my word. Besides, I have a promise to keep to Carl."

"I just don't want you making any rushed decision, putting your life in danger."

"I won't," I told him. "Now, go to sleep. That bed in the master bedroom is quite comfortable, you should try it."

"I'll trust you," Rick told me. "I hope you won't disappoint me."

Rick said good-night to Michonne and went upstairs, I was actually quite hurt he didn't trust me enough yet.

Truth was that I wanted to find Daryl because I missed him but also because if I was busy looking for him I knew I wouldn't crash down like I'm close to, I know that I wouldn't give up on him as fast. I need to do something or I'll just... give up.

"Won't you go to sleep?" I asked Michonne as I sat on one edge of the sofa, she was on the other.

"I'm not tired yet," she told me. "I took a small nap as well."

"I didn't take a short nap," I said with a chuckle. "But seriously, you are not here to keep watch on me or something, are you?"

"No, if you want to leave I can't stop you," she told me. "But I advice you not to go."

"Like I told Rick, I won't go Michonne, not yet anyway."

I lied down on the sofa, resting my head on the sofa's arm and soon my mind wandered to memories of all kind and of everyone back in the prison. I remembered when back in the camp even before we found Rick, Teresa found my gun and started to freak out, I lied to her and said it was a toy that I only had it in case I bumped into someone not friendly, she believed I couldn't even use a gun. She had no idea.

I also remembered when Amy and I stole a bottle of whiskey and drank almost all of it about two weeks after we had met and set the camp. Merle demanded to have some and he drank the last bit of it. He started flirting with me, thinking that he could get into my pants because I was drunk and the mood overall was good but when he realized I wouldn't give in, he tried with Amy.

Another thing that I remembered was when I got separated from the group. Andrea, Michonne and I went inside a building looking for shelter and some supplies, the building was infested and we barely made it out. Michonne made the mistake of leaving 'her bodyguards' outside so we didn't go unnoticed like we usually did.

"What are you thinking about?" Michonne asked me.

"Just remembering stuff," I said with a small smile.

"Of you and Daryl?"

"No," I told her. "Of everyone. Can I tell you something?"

"Sure," Michonne told me.

"After Daryl and I got together he admitted that we had kissed months ago and I didn't remember, I still don't. I mean, I have a vague and foggy image in my head but I'm not sure if that's what really happened or I just created it after he told me about it."

"You kissed?" she asked surprise. "What? How come?"

"We went to the CDC before it exploded and Daryl and I had to share a room."

"Had to, right," she said sarcastically, interrupting me.

"Yeah, had to. And for the first time ever we felt safe, so all of us or most of us got drunk. You have no idea how much we drank that night, but the next day the scientist there told us there was no hope, so, Daryl and I got drunk again and he says we kissed then, just before all of that went to shit and we barely escaped out of there alive. If he hadn't told me, I would really have no idea."

"So, he actually knew that you had kissed and he said nothing for months? He kept denying you were into each other even when he knew that?" Michonne asked in disbelief. "Damn, he's more of an idiot than I thought. And you really don't remember?"

"He thought it didn't mean anything, he had just lost Merle and days after that I lost my sister, it wasn't the right time," I told her. "Plus he said that since I didn't bring it up he thought I didn't want to talk about it, he never imagined I had no memories of that moment. And well, only weeks later we got separated, right when you found me."

"Still, he should have made a move earlier with that information," Michonne told me.

"Speaking of making a move," I said with a smirk on my face now. "You should make one on Rick, can take Carl out, go looking for some food, leave you two alone for some time."

"I already told you, there is nothing between Rick and I," Michonne exclaimed. "He just lost his daughter," she whispered to me.

"You're right about that but you do like him and he likes you back," I stated. "Don't be fools like Daryl and me, pretending we didn't like each other when we really did. After what happened to the prison and realizing that we are not safe anywhere, you should just go for it."

"Cecil..."

"I can talk to Rick if you want."

"No! Don't you dare!"

"Don't worry, I'll just ask him if he likes you," I told her.

"Will you tell me what he says?"

"So, you are interested in what he has to say about that," I exclaimed with a smirk, I had just caught her.

"Shut up."
"Just think like it wasn't a coincidence that you found him instead of anyone else," I said.

"Cecilia?"

"Yeah?"

"Just shut up and go to sleep," she told me. "I'm starting to regret making you company here."

"I won't sleep all night long, I doubt I can."

"Damn it."

"Don't worry, I won't talk about your crush on Rick," I said and after that she threw a small cushion at me, I didn't see it coming so it hit me right in the face. "Hey!"

"You deserved it!"

"Now you feel what I felt when all of you teased me about liking Daryl," I whined. "It's payback."

"Whatever," she muttered.

I chuckled at her before everything became quiet between the two. It wasn't uncomfortable or anything, though. I turned to my side and closed my eyes as I started thinking about all the good memories I have had these last couple of years despite the fact the dead now roam and control the world.

FLASHBACK

My parents were fighting in our tent because my father was hungry even after he ate all his portion for dinner and my mother gave him something from her own food. My father used to eat dinner and then around mid-night he sneaked downstairs to the kitchen to eat a second dinner.

It was one thing to hear your parents fighting from your own room and another being in a tent all together and witness every little fight. The punches hadn't started yet tonight but I knew there were going to be a few of them soon and I didn't want to be there when it happened, I could eventually take my mother's place as punch bag, or even Sophia, and I wouldn't be able to stand that.

Ever since I came from New York to visit my family I already got two beating and some bruises, my sides and part of my back were covered in them and I hated it, that's why I didn't want to come, I knew this would happen. But I got them because I was trying to defend Sophia, she shouldn't live this hell.

Trying hard to not be spotted, I crawled slowly to the exit of the tent, which seemed too crowded with my father here. Luckily my father's back was to me, my mother saw me leaving but she said nothing, she never does but this time I was glad she stayed quiet.

Once outside, I stood up and walked away quickly and even from here I could hear my father's strong voice, clear and loud. This proved that everybody in camp must hear him every night and still they choose to ignore it, as everyone always does.

I walked by Teresa's and Oliver's tent, which they share with Glenn and heard no noise coming from inside, meaning they were all sleeping. I decided it wouldn't be a good idea to open the tent and step inside, besides it was already full. I walked by Andrea's and Amy's and the same thing and I didn't feel as comfortable with them so I didn't dare ask them to let me stay with them.

As I usually preferred to stay out of people's lives and be on my own I really didn't trust anyone else that much, I barely talked to the rest when I had to. Dale could let me stay in his RV for the night but he probably was sleeping by now and I didn't dare ask.

After thinking of what to do for twenty minutes, I got a blanket that was on a tree branch so it could dry, but to my luck it had already dried. I thought it was Lori's but at the moment I didn't care, I guess I would have to apologize tomorrow and wash it again.

I set the blanket on the cold hard ground and used half as my 'mattress' and the other half to cover myself, it wasn't winter or fall yet but I was starting to get really cold but I refused to go inside that tent again, I could still hear my father yelling.

I tried to sleep but due to the cold and all the noises, I just couldn't. I heard the branches of the tree moving with the wind, I heard owls and other night animals and every one and then I heard a twig snapping, making me jump.

I wasn't sure how long I had been there but around an hour and a half or two, I was shivering no stop by now and my teeth were clattering. I tried hard not to think about how cold I was as I tried to cover myself even more, I was sure I looked like a caterpillar or something like that by now.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

I sat up immediately and looked at the person in fright. I was more startled because the person was only about six feet away from me and I didn't hear him approaching me, now I know how he hunts all those animals, he doesn't even make a single sound.

"I could ask you the same question," I muttered, not wanting to tell him my parents were fighting... again, I couldn't hear them anymore so it wasn't as obvious anymore.

"I just came from hunting," he replied in an annoyed tone. Daryl talked like that all the time that I seriously considered that was just the way he always talked, that he wasn't really annoyed. "Are you trying to die from freezing or being bait for the walkers?"

"I didn't think it would be so cold," I admitted.

"Come on," he said with a sigh.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You can sleep with me."

"You serious?"

"If you ask one more time, I swear I'll leave you here," he muttered. Then hesitantly, he offered his hand to me. I looked at it not believing he was being so nice before I took it.

I grabbed the blanket and followed Daryl inside his tent. I felt a bit awkward around him but Daryl seemed totally cool with it.

"Give me that," he said pointing to the blanket, I looked at him strangely before handing him the blanket. He folded it in twice, laid it on the ground after he moved his sleeping bag further to the right and then he sat on top of it.

"What are you doing?"

"Take my sleeping bag," he muttered without bothering to look at me. "You're freezing."

"Daryl, I..."

"Take it," he stated firmly. "And stop talking, I want to sleep."
"Alright, thanks," I mumbled. "Good-night."

I timidly got inside his sleeping bag and almost instantly, I stopped shivering. I smiled at the warmest I was feeling now and Daryl's odd kindness, I could have sworn that he would have left me outside even if I was only minutes from dying, but he didn't.

For the very first time since I came to visit my family and all of this mess started, I slept well and content, knowing that I was safe in here.

Hello guys! I'm back! So, finally back to Cecilia's POV.

So, I know I have already asked this, but when Daryl leaves with Carol to go find Beth in Atlanta, what should Cecilia do? There was a tie last time and I'm just stuck in that part. I need your help.

These are the options:

Cecilia goes with Daryl and Carol to Atlanta

Cecilia goes only with Daryl, Carol stays behind with the group at the church

Cecilia stays and doesn't notice when the two of them leave and gets upset at both for leaving

So anyway, thank you for reading and commenting! And have an awesome week you all!