Barely Alive - TWD - Daryl Dixon

by masterpieceMCFLY

The horrors continue in Cecilia's life and now they just don't have to worry about the walkers but people too. Great challenges and tragedies will test her like never before, will she be able to keep fighting or will it be too much for her? Sequel of: Barely Surviving, I recommend to go read that part before this one.

40. Chapter 40 - Four Walls and a Roof

"Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them; that only creates sorrow.

Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like."

- Lao Tzu

Cecilia's POV

After it got dark, we all gathered inside just as we did last night. We opened about four cans of our food plus some chips and we sat around. I sat right next to Daryl and soon Tara joined me.

Abraham informed us the bus was going to be completely fixed soon, probably by tomorrow morning, so we could all get our things ready to not lose time tomorrow, everyone cheered except me. Daryl only shrugged at me, knowing how I felt about it.

Soon after we were done, Daryl stood up and went to talk to Rick, while Carl took Daryl's place, Tara was still with me. She had avoided me since she told me about her girlfriend but after I came back from the run with my mum, I went to talk to her so she knew everything was okay between us.

It was late and it had been a very long day, so I let Carl lie down and use my lap as a pillow, I ran my hands through his long brown hair as Tara and I talked. It felt nice to have someone close to my age that I could talk to, Maggie was around my age too but we never really got that close, she was too serious for me.

Some time had passed and I was starting to get really drowsy, I had my head and back against the wall as Carl had fallen asleep and I didn't have the heart to move him. Tara had lied down but she was still awake, she was telling me some story from before the turn. I was only minutes from falling asleep when I raised my head and looked around the room.

Rick was with Abraham now, I looked everywhere but couldn't find Daryl, even when I checked two more times. I tried to tell myself that he could have gone out to piss, or he was in the room but I couldn't see him at the moment, or he was inside one of the two rooms at the end of the church. I kept looking around and noticed my mum wasn't here either. Only minutes ago Mika was sleeping and now she was gone too, that was odd.

I slowly lifted Carl's head and laid it carefully on the floor, I didn't have anything to use as a pillow at the moment but luckily he didn't wake up. I stood up as I told Tara I was going to be right back. Rick noticed me going to him before I finally got there.

"Have you seen my mum?" I asked him. "Or Mika?"

He seemed confused at my question, he looked all around the room as I told him Daryl was gone too. I didn't want to freak out but if Rick didn't know then that couldn't mean anything good.

"I'm sure they are fine," Rick said, trying to keep calm too.

"Rick!" Tyreese exclaimed just seconds before we heard a gun shot outside.

Rick ordered everyone to stay inside as Tyreese, Rick and I were rushing out. Tyreese told Rick that Bob was gone as we walked to where we heard the gunshot. We saw Sasha, who was on guard, hitting a walker on the head repeatedly with the rifle.

Tyreese wrapped his arms from behind her and covered her mouth, preventing her from screaming. He calmed her down and assured her it was just him.

"He's getting away!" Sasha exclaimed.
"Who?" Rick asked.

"Somebody was watching us."
"If we go in there now, some of us aren't coming back," Tyreese said to his sister.
"Bob is out there somewhere!" Sasha exclaimed desperately, I understood her because Daryl was gone too. "Scared, alone."
"Maybe not alone," Rick said. "Daryl, Carol and Mika are missing, too."
"Haven't you seen them?" I asked Sasha, hoping to hear a yes, but she just shook her head. "What do we do now?"

"We must go look for them," Rick said, without a doubt in his tone. "But first, let's go inside. We need to talk to someone and make a plan."

"The hell?" I heard from behind me, I turned around and saw Daryl rushing to where we were. He had his crossbow in one hand. I sighed out of relief when I saw him.

I walked quickly to him and embraced him tightly, stopping him dead in his tracks. He slowly hugged me back as he exclaimed, "woah!" and gave the others a look of shock.

"Okay... what is going on?" he asked confused as I just tightened my grip on him.

"I thought... I thought you were gone," I muttered as I finally let go of him. "Wait a minute, where were you? Have you seen my mum?"

"Alright, let's discuss that inside," Rick exclaimed in a desperate tone, he didn't want us to be out here any longer, especially when people could be out here watching us and maybe pointing their weapons at us.

All of us walked back to the church, Daryl and I going behind Rick, who was the only one who had a flashlight. I thought they would rush in but all of us just walked in very calmly. Sasha, went straight to Gabriel, though, while Rick and Tyreese made sure to close the door, while I stopped Daryl by grabbing his elbow.

"Where were you?"

"Jeez, I was in the bathroom, alright?" Daryl exclaimed with a tone of frustration. "What's up with you?"

"And you were in the bathroom for more than twenty minutes?" I asked him, still not buying it because my mum was nowhere to be seen and Bob was missing and all of this wasn't normal.

"Cecilia, seriously, what's up? I'm constipated, goddamn it!" Daryl exclaimed, trying to keep his voice down, not like he needed to, Sasha was screaming at Father Gabriel right now, everyone's attention was on them, not us.

"Oh, okay," I said a bit uncomfortably. I felt bad I was acting this way but I was really uneasy at the moment. "I'm sorry, it's just I thought you were gone. I don't want to lose you again."

"Ceci, you won't lose me again," Daryl said in a much softer tone, his frustration was gone now. "I promise."

"I just freaked," I mumbled. "You, my mum, Mika, Bob... all were gone."

"Wait, what?"

"I don't know where my mum or Mika are," I told him. "And Sasha just said Bob is missing too."

"We'll find them," Daryl said, trying not to show his nervousness but I saw it in his eyes for a split second.

Daryl and I then turned our attention to Sasha, who kept blaming the man. Rick always suspected of him, and I admit he was a bit weird but Carl trusted him, and that was quite uncommon, so that made me doubt and actually have some faith in Gabril. Daryl and I slowly approached the scene.
"I'm not blaming you but if you know something, please tell me," I told Gabriel in a nice tone. "My mum and a little girl are gone too."

"I swear I don't kno..."

In that moment Sasha got out her knife and walked towards Gabriel, we all reacted immediately, begging her to not do it. I grabbed her left hand, stopping her from going any further. She jerked her hand away from my grip but didn't move further.
"Who's out there?"

"I don't have anything – to do with this."
"Where are our people?"

"I don't have anything to..."

"Where are our people?!" she shouted, making Gabriel jump and coward away.

"Please, I don't have anything to do with this," he said in the most calm voice he could master but you could tell it was about to break.

I saw his eyes and I could almost be sure Gabriel was telling the truth and that he actually had nothing to do with any of this but after Sean, whom I trusted, I wasn't so sure I could trust my judgement anymore. He was my friend and I lived with him for more than a year, I could say I knew him well but I was wrong, so I said nothing. My judgement could be wrong again.

"If he has something to do with this," I said quickly to Sasha. "And you kill him, we might never find them."

Sasha, who was about to lose it, decided it was best to stepped away. She slowly walked backwards, staying behind Rick and next to her brother, I was close to her, just next to Rick right now, while Daryl was a step behind me, eyeing Sasha, making sure she wasn't going to try anything else.
"Why'd you bring us here?" Rick asked him.

"Please, I..."

"You working with someone?" Rick asked, interrupting him.

"I'm alone. I'm alone, I was always alone."
"What about the woman in the food bank, Gabriel? What did you do to her? 'You'll burn for this.' That was for you. Why? What are you gonna burn for, Gabriel? What? What did you do?" Rick yelled the last part as he grabbed Gabriel by his shirt's collar and cornered him. "What did you do?!"

Rick let go of him but stayed right in front of Gabriel, who started to sob, it was obvious that he was consumed by guilt.

"I lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always lock the doors at night. I always – They started coming, my congregation. Atlanta was bombed the night before and they were scared. They were – they were looking for a safe place, a place where they felt safe," he told us as he sobbed. "And it was so early. It was so early. And the doors were still locked. You see it was my choice. There were so many of them and they were trying to pry the shutters and banging on the sidings, screaming at me. And so the dead came for them. Women, children... Entire families calling my name as they were torn apart, begging me for mercy. Begging me for mercy." He sobbed harder then. "Damning me to hell. I buried their bones. I buried it all. The Lord sent you here to finally punish me."

Gabriel then fell to the floor as he cried harder, I only looked at him with pity. If I believed he was innocent before, now I was almost completely convinced. Maybe it was because we were in a church but I really thought he didn't do anything wrong.

"I'm damned. I was damned before. I always lock the doors. I always lock the doors." Gabriel wept as he was on the floor, consumed by guilt and remorse.

It was then when we heard whistling outside. Some of us rushed to the windows and looked what was going on, I could almost be sure that didn't sound like my mum or even Bob.
"There's something- there's someone outside lying in the grass!" Glenn exclaimed.
Before anyone else could react, before Daryl could stop me, Sasha and I ran across the church and opened the door as quickly as we could and as soon as we did she let out a squeal, it was Bob who was out here. Daryl soon caught up with me and I turned around and buried my face in his shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him, the sight in front of me was horrible.

I felt relief it wasn't my mum the one there because Bob only had one leg but also fear because she and Mika were still not here and anything could have happened to them, now I was even more worried about them and having really bad thoughts after seeing Bob like that.

Sasha ran to Bob's side, Maggie was horrified he didn't have a leg. Glenn, Rick, Daryl and I fought some walkers that were walking towards us while Sasha and Tara grabbed Bob. Not long after, Rick just lost it and killed the rest of the walkers with his gun, yelling at us to go in.

I turned around after I killed a walker to go inside when I saw a big 'A' painted on the wall of the church and I could swear only minutes ago that wasn't there. I felt goosebumps in my skin as I looked at it. If I remembered correctly we were in 'A' back at Terminus. Daryl quickly noticed I had stopped, he grabbed my hand and pulled me inside with the others.

After Rick got in and closed the door, everyone gathered around Bob, by now Carl was awake. I stood close to the group as I hugged myself. My legs shook but I couldn't just sit, I was too nervous and anxious to just sit and hear Bob. I could lose my mother, Mika could be dead, plus we now have a friend that has no leg.
"I was in the graveyard, somebody knocked me out," Bob told us. "I woke up outside this place. It looked like a school. It was that guy, Gareth and five other ones."

I shot my head in his direction when he said his name, I already knew it must be them but hearing Bob just confirmed my fears and they meant nothing good. If he did have them, they must be dead by now.
"They were eating my leg right in front of me like it was nothing," Bob continued and it made me shiver when he said that. "All proud like they had it all figured out."
"Did they have Mika and Carol?" Rick asked the question I was too afraid to ask, he shook his head just before groaning.
"He's in pain," Sasha exclaimed as she looked at Rosita. "Do we have anything?"

While Bob and Sasha got into an argument, Bob didn't want us to waste the pills on him while Sasha tried to get him to take them, I couldn't stop thinking about my mum. I snapped when Bob moved his shirt a bit, showing us the bite he had on his shoulder. I almost ran to the door, I needed to look for them. Daryl quickly stopped me, grabbed my wrist and made me turn around, facing him.

"What are you doing?" he exclaimed angrily.

"What do you think? I'm going to look for them!" I said. "And if I run into Gareth, I will kill that son of a b..."

"No."

"You can't stop me."

"I'll go," he told me with determination, I just shook my head. "I can track you never learnt, I can be as quiet as a rabbit and I can go unnoticed, you can't. So, I'll go."

"I told you earlier..."

"And you won't lose me."

"If you I go too," I told him sternly. "It's my mum, I should be the one doing this."

"Always you being too stubborn," Daryl said frustrated after he took a big sigh.

"Wait!" Rick exclaimed as he ran to us, interrupting our argument. It was then that I noticed Bob wasn't here anymore, he was taken to Gabriel's office. "We will go look for them together, Gabriel knows the place Bob talked about. He is making us a map right now." Daryl just sighed.
"Time for a reality check," Abraham said to us all, he was some feet away from us, I turned around to look at him. "We all need to leave for DC right now."

"Excuse me!?" I exclaimed in disbelief as I glared at him and felt such hatred for the man. "My mum and a little girl are out there and if you think we will leave without them then you lost your mind. We won't go anywhere."
"She's right," Rick said. "We're not going anywhere without them."
"I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene," he told us. "I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier."

"Then you go, I won't leave my family here!" I almost shouted at the ginger haired man.
"Fine, if y'all won't come, good luck to you. We'll go our separate ways," he said as he walked towards the door.
"You leaving on foot?" Rick asked him, making Abraham stop dead in his tracks.

"We fixed that damn bus ourselves!"
"There are a lot more of us."
"You want to keep it that way? You should come."
"Carol saved your life!" Rick told Abraham. "We saved your life."
"Well, I am trying to save yours. Save everyone's."
"We're not going anywhere without our people."
"Your people took off!"
"They're coming back!"
"To what, picked-over bones?!"

"You're not taking..."

"Do not lay hands!" Abraham shouted as Rick put a hand over his arm.

Things started to get heated and physical, I wanted to punch Abraham myself but I knew that would be of no use right now. So, I walked towards Rick and grabbed him by his elbow, while Rosita called Abraham and Glenn stood in between them.

"Hey, hey, stop! Now! Do you really think that you're gonna be any safer leaving right now in the middle of the night?" Glenn asked.

"Yeah."

"What about tomorrow? We need each other for this. We need each other to get to DC. We can get through all of it together."
"I have an idea," Tara exclaimed as she walked past me and Rick and got into the middle. "If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC no matter what." Then she turned to look at Rick and then at me. "Okay?"

"Glenn and Maggie, too," Abraham said.
"No," Rick stated.
"Good luck, then. I'm not interested in breaking up what you have here. Rosita, grab your gear. Eugene, let's go." Eugene didn't even turn to look at Abraham. "Eugene. Move it!"

"I don't want to."

Woah, where did that come from? He seemed like a five-year-old boy challenging his mother but I got to admit he can stand for himself... apparently.
"Now!"
"Okay," he whispered.

Well, maybe I was wrong. Eugene stood up and awkwardly walked away. I only looked at him as I shook my head. These people were pathetic and ridiculous. He was supposed to be the one with the answers to everything and he wanted to stay and the other guy was too blinded by what this man told him or he was a coward for not wanting to stay and deal with these people.

"How can you run off when things get ugly and abandon us like if we didn't help getting you... or Eugene out of that place."

"I'm sorry for how things turned out but Eugene can't stay any longer here."
"You're not taking the bus."
"Try to stop me," Abraham said to Rick in a threatening way.

There were some very awkward seconds in which no one really moved at all, that was a challenge and I knew that couldn't end well. I just stayed there, watching Rick. He was taking deep breaths, he was very upset. Then he just took long steps towards the ginger man, Glenn and I reacted quickly and ran after him, I tried to grab Rick by his arm again while Glenn stood in between the two men again.

"Wait, wait, wait, wait! Hey, hey!" Glenn exclaimed, then he looked at Rick, patting him on his chest to make him stay still for a bit, then he turned to look at Abraham, while I just tightened my grip on Rick. "You stay – you stay and help us, and we will go with you."
"No!" I said at the same time as Rick. I couldn't lose Glenn too, again.
"It's not your call," he simply told us, but mostly to Rick. "You stay, help us."

"Half a day," Abraham told Glenn. "Come high noon, we're taillights. I'm not waiting for the other damn shoe to drop."
"And we will leave with you," Maggie said.
"Then we go," Abraham muttered and then he walked away, leaving us stunned.

"You can't be serious!" I said to Glenn. "Are you really going to...?"

"Don't make this harder," Glenn said to me, looking me straight in the eye. "Just don't."

I opened my mouth again but I didn't know what to say. I wanted to beg him to not go with these people but I guess it was already decided. Glenn took a deep breath before he also walked away. I crossed my arms as he did.

Then I looked at Tara and gave her the same look, we might have not been on good terms at first but I liked her now and she saved me and we had already spent a lot of time together and without her, who would I talk to?

"I know, okay?" she told me sadly. "I had to."

Then I turned around, expecting to see Daryl, I actually thought he was going to help stop Rick from starting a fight or at least to stop me from being in the middle but to my surprise he was no longer here, I took deep breaths to calm myself. He had left.

I just sat on one of the benches, feeling fear and despair. I buried my face in my hands. My mum, Mika and now Daryl were gone, who knows where, I was going to lose Glenn, Maggie and Tara, and we were being chased by crazy people that wanted to eat us. This just couldn't get any worse.

Some minutes later, I heard the door of one of the little rooms being opened, I looked up and saw Daryl.

"Those assholes are out there!" he exclaimed. "They are watching our every move."

Rick nodded at Daryl and then called us all so we could make a plan. We all sat around, making a circle, except for Bob and Sasha. They were in one of the rooms in the back of the church. While Rick explained the plan, Daryl told us they didn't know he was back, that's why he got in through a window in the back.

"I guess we should have just gone back and killed them," I said just before I sat next to Glenn, who only gave me a look. He was against that plan so he probably believed that comment was made for him, but it was for all of them, they didn't want to go back and now we were in trouble. We could have prevented this and they knew it.

"They think they're in control," Rick said, choosing to ignore my comment, which was loud enough for everyone to hear it. "We're in here and they could be anywhere... But we know exactly where they are."
"Plan's got stones, I'll give you that," Abraham said.
"Make our move before they do," Glenn added.
"That's right," Rick exclaimed with a nod. "They're not counting on us thinking straight."
"Are we? I'm just making sure," Rosita muttered. "It's a big play."
"Remember what these people are capable of," Rick told us as she walked into the centre. "Tyreese."
"Yeah?"

"You up for this?"

"I'm going with you," Sasha exclaimed as she walked out of the room, I guess she had been listening to us.
"You should stay with Bob," her brother told her.
"No, I want to be out there," Sasha said. "I want to be a part of this."
Sasha walked inside the room again and Tyreese went after her, probably to change her mind. I would hate to be in her place. I would want to spend until the last second with Daryl but I would also want to get revenge, to kill those bastards myself. She was in an impossible situation.

I sighed and went for my things, I took my gun out of my backpack and made sure I had my knife with me. I wouldn't take my crossbow with me on this mission. I wanted to go light.

"What are you doing?" Glenn asked me, making me turn to look at him. He was in the same spot on the floor even when we had already finished talking about the plan and most of us had stood up.

"What do you think?" I said. "Getting ready."

"You are not going," Glenn told me in such an authoritative tone I was surprised. He had never talked to me in that way. I turned to look at Rick, and he just shrugged at me, and then at Daryl, who also looked confused but no one said anything.

"Excuse me?" I asked him with a small chuckle. "I'm going and that's final. They could have my mum, there is no way I'm staying here."

"Glenn, it's okay," Rick told him. "Gabriel, Carl, Rosita and probably Tyreese will stay to take care of Judith and Bob. She can come."

"Why are you even letting her go? You heard her back there!" Glenn exclaimed and my blood froze right there. "And what about you?" Glenn asked as he looked at Daryl, he seemed to be a bit disappointed and even angry at Rick and especially at Daryl. "You should look after her, but you seem cool about her going."

"Glenn, look, you don't get it..." I said quickly but he interrupted me.

"You are pregnant for God's sake!" he loudly exclaimed. "You should avoid every run you can, not seek for them. I know your mum is missing but you should stay and stop being so reckless!"

I awkwardly smiled at everyone in the room when they turned to look at me with shocked expressions on their faces. Abraham even sarcastically chuckled. Rick just looked rather uncomfortable and Daryl lowered his head and kept his gaze on the floor as he fidgeted a bit.

"What?" I heard Maggie exclaimed but I ignored her, or the couple of gasps I heard.

"Right, that," I muttered as I looked down at the floor as well before I looked at the Asian. "I forgot to mention that was..." I made a pause and cleared my throat. "A lie. I told Gareth that in hopes of convincing him to let us live or at least to waste some time while one of you thought of something. I wanted to clear things once we were here but with everything that happened it slipped my mind and I apologize for making you believe that."

"You are not pregnant?" Glenn asked me, he seemed like he wasn't believing what I was saying.

"No!" I exclaimed with a smile, pretending everything was cool "You know what I think about that subject, we discussed it a few months ago, remember?" I said and at that Daryl stopped looking at the floor and turned to look at me with an eyebrow raised. "It was the only thing I could come up with and we needed time so I took the chance and lied about it. Not cool, I know, but I was so scared that they were going to kill us..."

"It's okay," Glenn said quickly. "I get it."

"Okay, now that we have cleared that up, I hope you have no more objections on me going."

Just as I said that, Sasha walked out of the small room, apparently Tyreese didn't convince her to stay. She nodded at us, telling us she was ready. The rest grabbed their weapons and soon we walked out of the church, Rick was on the lead, followed by Michonne and then me. On last minute Rick had decided Daryl needed to stay, they couldn't see Daryl had gone back inside the church, that could ruin the plan.

"What if we get back too late?" I whispered to Glenn, who was behind me.

"We went through the plan several times, it has to work."

We walked through the woods as quiet and carefully as we could, we didn't want to bump into Gareth and his people and walkers, that would ruin the plan.

We didn't go far, just far enough. It was risky and many things could go wrong but this plan was the best we could come up with and I hope it worked, otherwise the people that stayed could die.

We waited some minutes that felt eternal so that could give Gareth time to go to the church, thinking only the weak and sick stayed. Making him believe we did go to the school, assuming Bob told us where he was.

Once we went back enough to see every man walked inside the church while we hid behind trees and plants, we silently walked to the church, staying outside. We could hear Gareth from here, he was telling them to come out. We patiently waited for the right moment to ambush them until something made my heart skip a beat, Judith's cries.

Rick silently cursed, the plan had gone so well until now. Rick looked at us and nodded, meaning it was time. The door was slightly opened so we could sneak in without making any noise. Rick went in first, followed by me, and then Michonne.

This part of the church was the darkest so they couldn't see us, plus they were all focused on one of the rooms, they had their guns pointed at the door. The windows here allowed some moonlight to brighten this place a bit and allowed us to see our enemies good enough so we could shoot them.

I raised my gun and thought of what I had said earlier, about not wanting to kill any more people. Daryl said he would do that for me but I told him he wasn't going to be with me all the time and right now he wasn't here.

Right when they were going to shoot at the door to get it opened, Sasha and I fired, killing two of their men. We had silencers on, thankfully. The rest of them looked at their friends and then at the dark end of the church where we were, hidden in the shadows.

"Put your guns on the floor!" Rick exclaimed.
"Rick, we'll fire right into that office. So you lower your gun – Ah!"

Rick had shot Gareth, interrupting him. I couldn't see where exactly he had hit him but by Gareth's whimpers I knew he had indeed shot him. Gareth was shocked. Then he fell on the ground in a lot of pain.

"Put your guns on the floor and kneel!" Rick exclaimed as he walked forward and revealed himself, he had his gun pointed at Gareth, plus all of us also were pointing at the rest of them, just in case.
"Do what he says!" Gareth exclaimed from the ground. Everyone quickly threw their weapons to the ground and knelt down, everyone except one man. "Martin, there's no choice here."
"Yeah, there is."

"Want to bet?" Abraham asked, as he also revealed himself and got closer to Martin.

Martin looked around as we slowly approached them all, he probably weighed his options before he also threw his gun and knelt.

Once everyone was on the ground, we quickly approached them. Each one of us was pointing at one man, or in Michonne's case, a woman. If anybody tried something we would shoot them before they could. Of course that Gareth was left to Rick. I looked at him for a couple of seconds and realized Rick had shot him in the hand and now he was missing two fingers from his left hand.

"No point in begging, right?" he muttered as he turned to look at me. "Even when I had given you a second chance?"

"No," Rick said before I could say anything.
"Still, you could have killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that," Gareth told him, he probably had some tiny bit of hope.
"We didn't want to waste the bullets," Rick told him in a cold voice, it even sent shivers down and up my back, I would be scared if he wasn't part of my group.
"We used to help people. We saved people," Gareth told him. "Things changed. They came in and... After that... I know that you've been out there, but I can see it. You don't know what it is to be hungry."

I rolled my eyes at him. Of course we all knew. We may look pretty healthy for what life is now and compared to other people but we had starved on several ocassions, in my case, even before all this shit started. We had all been there, being so hungry that is all you can think about and having no energy to even stand up. We had all gone through that.
"You don't have to do this," Gareth said as he looked right at Rick. "We can walk away. And we will never cross paths again. I promise you."
"But you'll cross someone's path. You'd do this to anyone, right? Besides, I already made you a promise."

Rick took out his knife, the one with the red handle and before Gareth could blink, Rick hit him with it right in the middle of his skull and he kept at it repeatedly. The woman started to scream but Michonne took care of her quickly.

I didn't want to kill the man in front of me with my knife, I really didn't. I wanted to use my gun and put a bullet through his brain but we were saving them. I thought of Daryl and my mum and got enough will to do it. I stabbed the man a few times around his heart. He fell to the ground dead, once he was I knelt and stabbed him in the head, so he wouldn't turn and just to make sure.

Killing Alisha by a stab in the head and seeing how life slipped away from her, seeing how her eyes just went cold and lifeless was something I could never recover from and I didn't want to do it again, that's why I couldn't kill this man like this. I'm not saying this way is better, but at least I didn't see him straight in the eye as he died.

I collapsed on the ground when I was done with him, I felt awful and I didn't want to see the body next to me. How could I ask for forgiveness if I would keep doing it? I guess I would have to learn to live with the guilt and remorse, because I would never be forgiven for any death I had been responsible for, only tonight I added two to my list.

"It could have been us," I heard Rick exclaiming, we were all a bit shocked at what we had done and he was just trying to make us and himself feel better. I looked up to see Rick but instead I saw Michonne, she had her sword in her hands, she was looking at it like she had found a treasure.

"Cecilia," Daryl exclaimed as he ran to me."Are you okay?" I shakily nodded at him.

"Just give me a minute," I whispered.

"This is the Lord's house," I heard Gabriel saying to us, horrified. There were seven dead people here and blood was everywhere, on the floor, on the benches, the walls, especially on us.

Some of us had walked into the room where the others had hid but I stayed on the floor, Glenn, Maggie and Tara hadn't moved either. Daryl stayed next to me but he was on his feet now.

"No" Maggie said. "It's just four walls and a roof."
I took a deep breath and finally stood up, this wasn't the time to feel something, I needed to do other stuff. I walked quickly to the door, action that didn't go unnoticed.

"Where are you going?" Glenn asked me, quickly going after me.

"To the school," I told him. "I just need to check if they are there. They could be, right?"

"You heard Bob, they aren't there."

"What if they are?" I asked him. "It's worth the shot. They could be tied and locked somewhere. I just need to make sure."

"I'll go with you then."

"Me too," Tara said.

Knowing I wouldn't get anywhere with arguing, I nodded at them, Maggie joined us too. Daryl didn't have to say anything, I knew he would come. Except he went in another direction, he said he was going to follow some tracks he found before he came back to tell us they were right outside of the church, while the rest of us went to the school.

Okay guys, finally a new update! I've been so busy, I don't even remember when I last updated but here's a little bit of what has been going on lately.

Well, for a bit more than a month I was busy trying to get a visa to move to USA for a year. Then I was busy trying to get everything ready, medicine, dentist appointments, getting the right clothes, etc.

When I got here I was super busy, I was working about 8 hours daily and somehow I finally got to have friends, so I was always invited to do something and I wanted to explore the city and stuff.

Well, sadly things didn't work out. My time here in Maryland is over, I'll be staying somewhere else for two weeks and if I find nothing I'm going back home, which is really tough.

Anyway, I was close to Alexandria, VA, so that was really exciting. Reminded me of TWD every time.

Well, hope you liked the chapter and hopefully the next one will be up soon! :)