Most of the group wanted to just have a couple of days to recover their strength and not be on runs and they were dreading being in a car for so long, so we voted and we decided to stay four more days in Atlanta.

Some people went on runs to gather more supplies but they would rest the following day and other people would go on more runs, except for Maggie, who stayed every single day. Tyresse had also stayed most of the time to look after Judith.

But we were getting restless, even I who didn't want to leave Georgia was starting to get a bit frustrated. So, on the sixth day after the group got me from the hospital, we packed everything and got ready to leave.

It wasn't easy but we made it. In the last row of the SUV we could fit Rosita, Joshua, Heather and Carl, then in the middle row was Carol with Mika and next to her was Tyreese. Abraham was driving and Rick was next to her with Judith in his arms.

Tara, Gabriel and Maggie were in the back row of the pick-up. Eugene, who was reading the map, was in the passenger seat and Daryl was driving, at least for now. Sasha, Glenn, Noah, Michonne and I were in the back of the pick-up, we had two umbrellas to cover ourselves from the sun.

Every two hours we made some changes, like different people drove and some went all the way in the back instead of the front and we made stops to go to the bathroom often and we also stopped for meals.

After lunch I sat next to Daryl inside the pick-up and Michonne drove. With all the stops we made, which included all those breaks for comfort, bathroom and meals plus some random runs if we saw places like convenience stores or gas stations or even some houses and since we didn't drive an hour or two before it got dark it took us about three days to get to South Carolina and some weird nostalgic feeling got over me.

I knew we could be back after we reached Virginia but what if we didn't? What if we never go back to Georgia? I felt sad. I might have made New York my new home when I was seventeen but Georgia was the place where I was born, it was where I had many good memories. My cousins lived there, my grandparents too. My friends. I had many good memories with Sophia there.

Maybe I felt like this because in the last two years I had lived in Georgia and despite the people we've lost, I had never been happier. I had a best friend, Glenn, I had a person who took care of me as if I was his daughter and his son loved me as his sister. I also found the love of my life.

Once in South Carolina we made yet another stop of about two hours, tried to get gas from abandoned cars and even a gas station. We managed to fill several containers with extra gas.

We got in the cars again and tried to find an okayish place to stay before dark. We avoided big cities so all we found was a normal-sized house out of the main city. We parked one car a few houses away, just in case and the SUV in front of the house.

This house had three rooms, there was a bunk bed in one room. Abraham, Rosita and Eugene got that room. Sasha, Glenn and Gabriel were on watch first. One was on the second floor, and the others were downstairs.

Heather, Noah and Tyreese shared the second room and Joshua, Tara and Maggie slept in the living room downstairs. Rick, Carl, Michonne and Judith slept in the living room upstairs. Judith was in a laundry basket next to Rick.

This time Daryl, my mother, Mika and I shared the master bedroom. Daryl didn't want to complicate things so he let us sleep on the big bed and he grabbed a pillow and lay on the floor, alone.

I couldn't sleep with two other people in the bed, and Mika kicked a lot, so I got out of the bed and lay down next to Daryl. He protested at first but I silenced him with a kiss on the lips.

We stayed on the floor even when my mother left to keep watch for the second shift with Michonne and Heather. We heard her leave the room with Sasha, who had woken her up, and we decided to just stay on the floor, it wasn't as bad. We had slept out in the woods, we had learnt to sleep anywhere.

The next morning, I got clean underwear and another shirt after breakfast and when I went downstairs I noticed that Daryl looked quite happy. I watched him as he walked around the house and I knew something was up.

When we got our things and we were ready to leave, Daryl showed me the reason why he was so happy. He had found a motorcycle in the garage. It had a lot of gas and the keys were somewhere in the house.

"Will you ride with me?" he asked me and I smiled.

"Yeah."

With the two of us not being in the pick-up anymore, things got more comfortable for everybody. Joshua moved to the pick-up, leaving nine people in each vehicle.

Daryl was driving next to the pick-up, Eugene was the one reading the map. We were using the highway at times and avoiding it other times. At around midday we came across a fallen tree, not letting the cars pass.

We all stopped and tried to move the damn tree but it was thick and heavy. After wasting two hours we decided to just quit, go back a bit and go off the highway.

Two hours later we stopped for lunch and to use the bathroom. Rick changed Judith's diaper quickly and then the baby fell asleep next to him. Carl went to sit next to me because we hadn't been spending a lot of time together.

After lunch we looked for a place to stay the night, we were all tired and our bodies were still from being in a car for so long. We stayed at a house in a little town.

We spent two nights in South Carolina and then by midday on the third day there we got to North Carolina. Based on Eugene we were in this city called Charlotte. We stayed off the high-way and that's why it took us so long to leave South Carolina. We also needed to find a place to spend the night.

I had never been to that state before so everything was new to me. I had been to South Carolina twice before, both times with my Uncle Anthony and his family as Aunt Lauren had a sister there but I was young so I couldn't remember a lot.

This time we stayed in a gym. We killed about twenty walkers. Some were inside the sauna and I just imagine how horrible their death was if they actually died in there when the sauna was on.

We all got yoga mats and slept together in a room of the gym, probably where pilates or a dancing class was taught back in the day.

As the night before three people had to keep watch, Rick, Eugene and Tara stayed up first. Daryl and I stayed in a corner. We were so tired and our backs hurt. It was hard to be on the road for a lot of hours and not having where to rest your back.

The following morning we checked the map and we just got a little bit discouraged. Going to Virginia should have taken us less than ten hours, especially without traffic. But this was the twelfth day and we had barely just gotten to North Carolina, we weren't even halfway there.

Rick tried to make us feel better, give us strength but most of all just wanted to stay one more day in that gym, or not be so long on the road, even if it would take us longer to reach our destination.

Three hours before sundown we found a boarding school in the middle of nowhere, it was empty. There were two or three walkers around the grounds but it seemed like the students and the staff had left before everything happened.

One room on the third floor had fourteen beds, it wasn't enough for all of us but we got more mattresses from the room next to it and we all slept in the same room. The couples slept on the floor, putting two of those tiny mattresses together. Rosita and Abraham were right by the door. Glenn and Maggie were on the far right corner, it was the first time they slept the whole night together. Daryl and I were in front of them on the left corner. Rick, who was sleeping with Judith in his arms, was also on a mattress on the floor. The rest were either on guard or on a bed.

"We are running out of supplies," Glenn informed Rick. "We need to be looking for some as soon as possible."

"Okay, we will stay off the highway until we find some and go through the towns. We can also get more water and gas if we can."

That day we moved really slowly, we even went on foot to look for gas for the two cars and the motorcycle. That took about four hours, if not more. We made sure to get extra gas in case we couldn't get more later.

Because of it we didn't advance much. We were so close to Virginia now but we were still in North Carolina. We were in this town called Weldon or something like that. It shouldn't have taken us this long. We should have reached Richmond by now and probably be on our way back.

"Do you think Heather is now regretting coming with us?" Tara asked as she looked at the blonde woman. She looked miserably at her food. Joshua also looked like if he was having second thoughts about leaving the hospital

"Yeah, she is probably thinking of the mistake she made," I whispered to her.

Heather was slightly overweight, she kept her hair down and she had light brown eyes. She seemed like those cool mothers that let her children do everything they wanted and at first we all thought she wasn't good with weapons but to our surprise she showed she had good aim with a gun and she was also good with knives.

She told us her husband was a police officer back in the day and he had taught her before the turn. She had been at the hospital for about a year, after her group and husband were killed by walkers. Her two kids had died too. Her younger at the start and the older died from the flu four months before she ended up in the hospital. They were nine and seven. When she told us the story, I felt a big pang in my heart when she mentioned her kids, I excused myself as I walked away.

I was taking it better, but after Beth's words I felt even guiltier than ever and what she said about Daryl's desire being actually to have a kid someday, made everything a bit more complicated. Made me feel even worse but I hadn't had much time to dwell in those thoughts, fortunately.

We had found another house to stay in. Daryl and I were on watch together for the first time, Gabriel was with us too. But he kept quiet. He wasn't the same person he was back at the church, he had finally seen how ugly the world had become.

"Hey, Ceci, are you okay?" Daryl asked me as we were looking out the windows.

"Yes, I'm tired and just want to get to Virginia already but I'm okay. Why you ask?"

"I've noticed you've had nightmares every single night… since the hospital."

"I have nightmares often," I said, shrugging it off.

"Not several nights in a row. Are you sure they didn't do anything to you?"

"Daryl, I've told you. They gave me medicine. Dawn treated me quite well. Nothing happened."

"Did you talk to Beth?"

"Yes," I admitted, looking back to the street out the window. I didn't want to look at Daryl.

"Why haven't you told me?"

"We've been on the road and sharing rooms, this is private. I don't want them to know. And I didn't want to talk about her… not this soon."

"So, you don't want to talk about it now?"

"I'd rather not," I admitted.

"So, is that bad, huh?"

"Kinda," I admitted.

I heard Daryl sighing. I knew he was thinking I was back to keeping things inside but I wasn't. I just didn't want to say all the bad things Beth had said, one because I didn't want him or anyone else thinking bad of Beth, not days after her death. And two, I didn't want Maggie to know I beat her up and the things she did.

"I'll tell you when we get to Virginia. Let's do one thing at a time."

"Just don't let it affect you."

"Daryl?"

"Hmm?"

I bit my lip and looked down at my hands, I played with my hair as I took a quick glance at Daryl, who was already looking at me. I looked away quickly.

"Before all of this… the prison I mean… did you want to have a baby?"

Beth's words echoed in my head as I asked. She had mentioned it was obvious that he wanted one and if that's the case, why couldn't I have noticed? And why could she? And why hadn't Daryl told me?

I waited for Daryl's answer. I was nervous to hear what he had to say, whatever it was. Daryl took his sweet time, making me be even more on edge.

"Sorta," he muttered. This time he was looking away from me. My heart was beating fast, waiting anxiously for him to elaborate a bit more. "It's hard to explain. I didn't want one right now. I knew we weren't ready and it wasn't the right time but I wanted that to happen to us at some point. It was like a plan for the future… no, not a plan. More like a wish, a dream."

"What do you mean?"

"I know you never wanted kids, before or after this. I wasn't going to force you or put you in an uncomfortable position, so I only dreamt about it, sorta, and I didn't want kids either."

"What changed?"

"I don't know," he admitted with a sigh. "It just did."

"How long have you felt like this?"

"A few months… not long before the prison was destroyed…" Daryl said and for the first time in a while our eyes met and neither of us looked away. "…I started to have this weird feeling and I couldn't shake it off. It grew and I sort of understood it when I saw you with Mika and Lizzie and more with Judith, as she is younger. Then I started to have dreams about it and at times I wished that those dreams could become true. Like I said, I knew the time wasn't right and we had to wait and I wanted to wait, so it could be perfect."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked, feeling shocked at the way Daryl felt. Beth had noticed, why didn't I? Did that make me a bad partner? "I had no idea, Daryl."

"It wasn't important."

"Your feelings are important," I said quickly, he only looked down at the ground.

"I knew how you felt, how you still feel. And even if you didn't, that doesn't mean anything. I know our age difference isn't important. I love you. But I know that you are young and shouldn't and won't be thinking about such things. Even in a normal world, you'd be too young to take that step."

"Well… I almost took that step and I didn't even know," I whispered. "I had friends that had kids when they were fifteen or sixteen."

"Me too… but their entire lives changed. You aren't ready for that change. You don't want that change and it's okay. I understand."

"And… are you ready?"

"I know I'm not. I told you it was something I wanted in our future, maybe a year from now, maybe five, I don't know. Maybe if we still had the prison, I'd be ready or almost ready. Things have changed though, I want us to be okay first, I want us to get married, even if it's symbolic and I want us to have a stable place to live. You weren't there but being on the road when Lori was pregnant was chaotic. Especially at the end, we thought she was going to give birth in the middle of the woods, attracting all the walkers nearby. Why do you ask, Cecilia?"

"Someone told me it was obvious how you felt and only I couldn't see it. And I was being selfish because I didn't care how you felt."

"Well, that's not true. I haven't always wanted that, I never thought I would want it… But something changed, it didn't start that long ago though and I'm pretty sure it wasn't obvious, whoever told you that, only wanted to get into your head or saw things that weren't there," Daryl said and his soft voice turned into a more aggressive tone, like if he had gotten upset. "Who told you that anyway?"

"Now I understand why you reacted the way you did when I told you about it…" I said and my lip trembled a bit. Remembering how pissed he was when he thought I had chosen to terminate my pregnancy.

"You can say the word, Cecilia," he said, sounding softer again. I shook my head and looked away from him.

"I need more time," I mumbled.

"Okay," he said and actually left his place at the other side and walked to me and embraced me tightly. "But yes, that's why I reacted the way I did. Because something I really wanted was ripped away from me before I could even have it. Because for the day or so that I believed that you were actually pregnant, I got excited. I was really happy. Scared but happy. Because I see it as my daughter or my son…dying."

"I'm sorry," I whispered and held on to Daryl tighter.

"It wasn't your fault. It's just things that happen."

"But…"

"Don't blame yourself, don't. It happened and we have to move on. It hurts and it will be part of us forever but we can't let that kill us… We have to start over, okay?"

I didn't want to cry, not again. I had cried enough already but I ended up crying again but this time I didn't go away to cry on my own, I only hid my face in Daryl's shirt.

"Don't," Daryl said when he realised I was trying to stop the tears. "This is good. You are accepting it. You are not angry at the world… well, maybe a bit, but it's getting better and you aren't in denial anymore."

"How do you know?"

"Fifteen days ago you couldn't even talk about it, couldn't even look me in the eye. You didn't even let me hold you. You didn't let yourself cry until you exploded. So don't. Just accept whatever you are feeling and don't keep it in."

I looked up at Daryl and wondered why he seemed so calm. He seemed so collected and okay while I seemed like a mess of emotions. He had expressed not only this time about how he wasn't against the idea of a baby and even so he wasn't a mess. I mumbled the question and he sighed.

"I was angry at everything and everyone, I still am, I think. But it helped me to get it out, to talk about it. I didn't even know how I was feeling until I was asked the right questions and I answered them truthfully. When I heard myself I kind of realised how all of this was making me feel," he told me. "And yes, I cried. I think I'd be crying every night if we had more privacy. I'm actually dreading the moment when we get to be on our own for a bit."

"I'm sorry," I repeated over and over again.

"This is not your fault."

"Maybe, maybe not. But I wasn't there for you. You had to go to my mum because I was pushing you and everybody away."

"I understand. To be fair, you have gone through a lot these last few months. The kidnap thing wasn't that long ago and I know that broke you a bit," Daryl said as he held me closer to him. "I know you only needed some time on your own."

"But you needed me."

"You are here now, you are listening to me."

"But…" I said, looking up at him, puzzled. "I'm the one crying, not you."

"Believe me, if it was just us here, I'd be crying worse than you but I can't let myself break in front of them," Dary whispered into my ear. "Besides, I'm pretty sure that right now, I need you more than you need me, and you are here for me and that means everything to me, Cecilia."

I bit my lip as I felt tear after tear falling down my face. I stood up straighter, put my hands on both sides of Daryl's face and kissed his forehead, then I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting him bury his face on my shoulder as his strong arms wrapped around my waist. I heard him take two deep breaths to stop himself from crying.

"I only hope that Gabriel hasn't heard any of this," I mumbled and wiped my tears as I broke the embrace a couple of minutes later.

"It doesn't matter if he did," Daryl told me, taking my hands in his, and wiping my tears himself. "I'm sure he won't tell anyone."

"Have you told someone?"

"Just your mother," Daryl said. "I needed to let it out and I felt like I should be telling her. And well, I thanked Rick for looking after you. But I haven't told anyone else. It's our private life. We'll tell people when we are ready."

"Yeah, if we ever tell them."

I closed my eyes and rested my head against Daryl's chest. I heard and felt him sighing deeply and then he rested his chin on the top of my head and embraced me tightly.

As we stayed like that in silence, I noticed I could actually hear a river nearby. The sound was peaceful but it also meant getting water tomorrow, which was running out just like everything else.

For a long time, we didn't see or hear walkers and it felt like if we were back in a normal world, at least for a bit. The river's sound had gotten stronger somehow and we heard animals, grasshoppers probably and frogs.

Sometimes, seeing an animal or hearing it didn't mean food or just help, like horses, but it meant hope. Two years of this hell and animals were still alive, trying to survive as us but it seemed like they had adapted better than us. At least they didn't turn when they died, that would make the world tougher and it would cause several traumas in most of us.

I remembered that when it was just starting, I had my flight back to New York on a Wednesday and my grandparents didn't want me to leave because New York was one of the most affected states even when no one didn't really specify what the problem was.

My grandparents promised to get me a ticket a few days later, when things weren't as uncertain and dangerous. Oliver, Teresa and I actually stayed at their house. My father didn't want them around any longer and I couldn't be around him.

I was enjoying my time with Sophia but my father always ruined it somehow. He hadn't changed, even my mother had assured me he had. He only got worse.

It was during that time when I finally told my grandmother about it and she assured me she would help Sophia. Carol was a gown woman and she couldn't help her if she didn't want to be helped but we were going to help my sister. I didn't want to tell my grandfather because it had been his birthday and I didn't want to ruin it.

Then, we were at my parents' house. We had just gotten beer for my father and he was watching a baseball game when we heard the news. Airports were closed so we couldn't go back to New York and people in Georgia were asked to go to Atlanta.

My parents, as so many other people, went to buy food and supplies. Oliver went as well while Teresa and I stayed in the house, packing and looking after Sophia.

We were supposed to meet at my grandparents' house with Uncle Anthony and go to Atlanta together but we couldn't go through. Outside was just crazy. People had lost their minds and we decided to just get ahead. My grandparents knew the plan so they only needed to get in the car and drive, or maybe Uncle Anthony got to them.

Wasting almost two or three hours trying to get to their house was probably our blessing in disguise. If we hadn't done that we wouldn't have ended up with Lori, Shane, Sean and Carl. We wouldn't have found that camp and those great people and maybe my mother and I wouldn't be alive now.

And maybe if we had just left to Atlanta, we would have been too close to the city and somehow died when it was bombed. When I saw it happened right in front of my eyes I was thankful I wasn't there. In between bombs, I heard people screaming and I knew that could have been me.

I suppose New York was pretty much the same, every big city was bombed probably, in an attempt to get rid of whatever was going on and I would have probably died and Oliver and Teresa too.

It's funny that my mother had to beg me to travel back to Georgia for a birthday party that I had already decided I wouldn't go to and that saved my life, at least until this point. She used two ways to convince me, telling me it could be my grandfather's last birthday, and it was, and that Sophia wanted to see me. I couldn't say no to Sophia.

Oliver and Teresa were excited at first, none of them had been to Georgia before, and they were okay with staying longer with me and then all our plans just vanished, they didn't matter anymore.

Teresa was originally from Washington state and her family was still there, she tried to call them but no one answered. Oliver was the only one born and raised in New York. He desperately tried to reach them but he was unsuccessful too. He had two older sisters, both had kids. The oldest was in jail with us. She did three months.

Teresa had a single dad and three brothers and one sister. Two of the brothers were married and one had a kid. However, they didn't want anything to do with her after she was sent to prison. Her mother died from an overdose and that's one of the reasons why Teresa wanted to stop dealing and she didn't want to go back to jail.

Her father and one brother were the only ones that didn't give up on her and sent her letters when she was in prison. They called her often after she got out and her father even visited once and I had the pleasure to meet him. He was a great man, nothing like my father.

Teresa and I met Oliver's relatives, each one of them. They never knew about us being in jail, except for the older sister but she never said anything about it and we met them quite often, mostly because Teresa and Oliver were dating.

At some point, when we still had the original camp out of Atlanta, Oliver commented about how lucky I was to be with my family, he didn't know about my family history and I didn't tell him. He missed his family and I wasn't going to argue with him about it.

He couldn't understand why I avoided my parents. He noticed I wouldn't sit with them, or go cook with my mother, instead I went with Lori if I had to. Otherwise I'd be away with Glenn on runs. Oliver never noticed I slept in Daryl's tent but if he had, he would have probably scolded me, not being able to get it into his head.

He finally understood a bit when I got a concussion. He assumed my father was just a bit rough and I slipped and hit my head, it was just an accident. Everyone else knew about the abuse but Oliver was always on runs as well or he was busy making out with Teresa.

From what I heard, Teresa explained a bit about my family's dynamic when they thought I was dead after the farm. I didn't care. It wasn't like it was a big secret anymore and my father was dead and they thought I was dead too so I couldn't care less and Oliver never brought it up.

Now, both Teresa and Oliver were gone and it was hard to think that when they died our relationship was nothing like it was before. Teresa had cheated, lied and betrayed him. They learnt to live together because of the rest of the group. I wasn't close to any of them at the end and it wasn't even because of the several months I was away, we drifted apart before we got separated back at the farm.

"Hey!"

I turned my head around, still in Daryl's arm and looked at Gabriel. Daryl's arms slowly fell to his sides and I stood up straight.

"Our time is up," he let us know and we nodded, following him to where the rest of our group was on the second floor.

Noah, Abraham and Michonne took our places. We lay down where Michonne had been, which was a small kids bed. We both lay down on our sides, his back was facing mine at first but I struggled falling asleep, even when I was very tired, so I turned and now my chest was right against his back. I kissed his neck from behind, and part of his shoulder that wasn't covered by his shirt.

He was already sleeping but I heard him breathing deeper and I smiled. I got even closer to him and wrapped my arm around his waist and I could finally fall asleep.