Thank you for your patience as I'm still struggling to keep up with these chapters. I'm still working out how to fit older Rose into the last couple of seasons. I hope this one passes muster. Let me know your honest thoughts. As always, I love feedback. Thank you to thode who commented on the last chapter.

Rose looked at Mosley smiling at her, trying to disguise the repulsion she felt for him. She could help bring him down. But at what cost? She could make a real difference to her country. But with what damage to herself? She could win Tommy's approval. But with what shame? The battle raged inside her as she looked back at the car. All it would take would be to climb inside and the decision would be made. Mosley held out his hand towards her to help her in. Rose took a deep breath and made up her mind.

Without a word, she turned round and calmly walked back inside the house. Mosley watched her in disbelief as she turned her back on him. He called after her.

"Rose! What are you doing? Get back here!"

Rose carried on walking into the house and made no reaction to his shouts. She handed her suitcase and coat to Frances who had hurried to the entrance hall to find out what the shouting was about. Smiling at the flustered housekeeper, Rose gestured at the case.

"Would you ask one of the maids to unpack that for me, please, Frances. Is breakfast served?"

Looking back and forth between Rose and Mosley who was stood at the front door glaring angrily, Frances nodded.

"Yes, Miss Shelby. You're … you're not leaving with …?"

She waved her hand vaguely in Mosley's direction.

"No, Frances, I'm not leaving."

And without a second glance at the door, Rose made her way to the dining room, feeling a sudden appetite for breakfast.

Standing at the bedroom window, Tommy watched the scene in the driveway unfold as he smoked a cigarette. He inhaled deeply as he watched Mosley angrily get in the car, swearing loudly as the car drove off. As much as he knew that his best chance of incriminating Mosley had now gone, he thoroughly enjoyed watching how Rose had just humiliated him. Turning away from the window as the car left the driveway, he looked at Lizzie sleeping in bed and felt an element of contentment – a feeling that surprised him.

His wife was committed to him, despite his failings; his children were safe in their beds and had every prospect of a good life in front of them; Polly was about to get married and he knew that Aberama would make her happy; Arthur was … well, he'd sort Arthur out; and Rose was home. He was not as disappointed as he thought he would be at her refusal to carry out his plan. He had fully expected her to toe the line again and do his bidding, but now that she hadn't, he felt … relieved.

His ambition and expectation of getting his own way had lead him to believe that Rose would do his bidding and work with him to bring Mosley down. But now that she hadn't, he found that he was strangely proud of her. He had seen from the window the moment she'd made the decision not to leave with him and it had struck him how calmly she had made it. She hadn't straightened her shoulders and stuck her chin out as she always did when she made herself do something that she didn't want to. She was relaxed and had turned away from Mosley as if it were the most natural thing in the world. He was impressed.

When Tommy entered the dining room, Rose was tucking into a hearty breakfast of bacon and eggs with hot buttered toast and a strong cup of tea. She looked up as he entered and was surprised to find that her heart didn't sink when she saw him. For as long as she could remember, she hated to disappoint him and wanted nothing more than his approval. But as she watched him walk to his chair and sit down, she realised that she wasn't really worried about what Tommy though of her now. She was confident in the choice that she'd made. She knew without a doubt that it was the only decision she could have made and that she could never have lived with herself if she'd gone back with Mosley. Tommy's feelings and approval hadn't even entered her thoughts. She felt better than she'd felt in months.

"Good morning, Tommy."

"Good morning, Rose."

"Would you like some tea? It's nice and strong today. A good antidote for the morning after."

"Yes, thank you."

She poured his tea, with a drop of milk and no sugar, the way he liked it. He took a sip and settled back in his chair, looking at her. She put a forkful of egg in her mouth and chewed, looking back at him. He took out his cigarette case and lit himself a cigarette. She finished her mouthful as he exhaled the smoke and picked a piece of tobacco from his lip, flicking it to the floor. Rose lifted her cup of tea and looked at him over the top of it.

"So, what now?"

She knew that he knew what she'd just done. He looked at her and thought about her question.

"I'll think of something."

She grinned at him. "You always do."

He nodded, a small smile on his lips. "I always do."

She pointed at his plate. "Are you going to eat?"

"Later"

She took a sip of tea. "So, you're a fascist now?"

He countered with questions of his own. "Are you back home now? Or will you be gone by tomorrow morning?"

Putting her cup back on its saucer, Rose leaned her chin on her hands, her brow furrowed slightly.

"Will you insist I work in the family business?"

"Is that what made you leave? Because I called you back from May's and told you to work for me?"

"Partly"

"What was the other part?"

She sighed and put her arms down on the table. "Do you really not know, Tommy? I can't believe you don't know exactly why I left. You – who knows me so well, who's always known me – you knew I couldn't deal with all the bad business … the fighting, the danger, the fear. I was happy at May's and you knew I was. She told me you phoned her to ask how I was every week. But you still made me come back."

Tommy looked at her as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"I wanted you back with the family."

"I know. But I didn't want to be back with the family."

"Family is the only thing you've got, Rose."

"You sound like Polly."

He pointed at her with his cigarette, held between two fingers.

"I'm right. Look how quickly the money went, eh? You'd have had to have come back anyway, once May lost her money. What would you have done? No job, no stables, no high life. You'd have come back home, that's what you'd have done. The result would have been the same – you'd be back home and I'd be supporting you again."

Rose looked at him in disbelief.

"Really? That's what you think? That I'd come crawling back home to ask you for money?"

"What else would you have done?"

She hesitated. What would she have done?

"Well, maybe I would have come back, but it would have been my decision not yours."

Tommy laughed and Rose was angry with him.

"You have controlled me all my life, Tommy! Every day I've had to do what you tell me. I've not been allowed to make a decision on my own or lead my own life or have my own thoughts."

"Oh, now you sound like Jessie Eden. Of course, I've told you what to do your whole life. I raised you from a baby – you needed me to protect you and keep you on the straight and narrow and …"

"Protect me? From Campbell? From the Italians? From Father Hughes? From that MP …"

Her voice faltered and she looked away, trying to control the memories that flooded back.

Tommy shifted in his chair. She had just put into words everything that tortured his mind in the middle of the night, that he tried to block out with opium. It had been his responsibility to protect Rose and he knew he'd failed her over and over. She was right and he'd known it for a long time. He cleared his throat.

"When Grace died, I lost myself."

Rose looked back at him in surprise. He'd never spoken to her about Grace. She didn't say anything and waited for him to carry on, which he did after another drag of his cigarette.

"And when I came back from Wales, I swore that I wouldn't lose anyone I loved ever again, especially you. The truth is, before Grace, before Charlie and Ruby, there was always you. You – a tiny helpless bundle of blankets with red hair sticking out. You needed me then and you need me now."

She regarded him, taking in what he'd said. She decided to be honest.

"I do need you, Tommy. You're my big brother, my hero. When I was younger I wanted to be just like you. I told everyone who would listen that I would run the family business one day. I wanted to make you proud. But then, I grew up and I found out what the family business really was, what it was doing to the family, what it did to me – what you did to me. Time and again, I did what you wanted me to because I wanted your approval, I wanted you to love me. But it was never enough, was it? You promised over and over that it would be the last time, things would change, the business would be legitimate. You can't change, though, can you Tommy? The money, the power – it always pulled you back in, and every time you chose it above your family - above me, above Arthur, above John, above Grace…"

She trailed off and looked down at her hands. Tommy didn't speak, didn't move, keeping his eyes on her. His cigarette was burning itself down, leaving a precarious tower of ash at the tip. Rose sighed.

"Someone planted landmines in your field, Tommy. Fred was killed but it could have been Charlie. Bonnie is dead, Aberama beaten, Linda shot by Polly just last night. It never ends, and I'm just tired of it. I'm tired of being scared all the time, of worrying which of the people I love will die next. I do need you, Tommy – you're the most important person in the world to me – but I can't live with everything that you cause to happen." Her voice broke as she felt the tears well up in her eyes. She spoke in a whisper. "I want to stay here with you, with my family, but … it's too hard."

Tommy blinked a few times, his eyes unfamiliarly wet. He cleared his throat and spoke quietly.

"I do love you, Rose. And I am proud of you, I always have been. I … I don't know why I can't show it. And I've only ever wanted to keep you safe, that's why I want to keep you so close, to 'control' you, as you say."

"I'm not yours to control, though, Tommy. I'm not a timy helpless baby anymore, I'm a person in my own right. I'm not you, I'm not Mum, I'm not the family's hope for the future. I'm me – whoever I decide to be. And I want you to love me without trying to change me, without controlling me, without hurting me."

Tommy frowned as he listened to her words. He was terrified that if he let her go, he'd lose her forever. That if he gave her a choice, she'd want a life without him, without the family. But he couldn't deny the truth of her accusations.

"You're right – I hurt those I love. I can't help it. It's my curse."

She looked at him and wondered why this conversation had taken so long to happen. And if it was too late.

"It's not your fate. You can help it. Curses can be broken."

He broke eye contact with her and stubbed his cigarette out on a side plate. "I can't go back and change anything, Mouse, but I might be able to change what's to come. That doesn't make up for what you went through, I know." He looked up at his sister who meant everything to him and felt an almost physical pain in his heart. How had he let her get so hurt? She meant everything to him and he'd taken it for granted. He looked away. "I'm not surprised you hate me. I deserve it."

Rose sighed. "I don't hate you, Tommy. I've tried, believe me, I've tried to hate you, it would make things so much easier – but you're my big brother and I love you. And I know that you love me and that you always have. That's why it's so hard. And I'm so tired of trying to reconcile it all in my head."

Tommy sat back and lit another cigarette. Rose wiped away a stray tear from her cheek.

"Mouse, I won't make any more promises. I won't tell you things will be different now. I want you to stay home, I want you here, but I won't stand in your way if you want to leave. You know what my business with Mosley is now and I won't keep anything from you that you want to know. You don't have to work in the business, you can make the choices. All I ask is that you try and trust me again – or at least be honest with me and tell me what you're thinking. I don't want to lose you any more than I already have. If something goes wrong, give me the chance to put it right."

Rose's eyes searched his face as he spoke. She desperately wanted to believe him, she hated being at odds with him. She thought about the things that had just been said. Was it enough that he loved her? Would he really not stand in her way if she wanted to leave? And yet, where would she go? Her heart was in Birmingham, with her family. Could she trust him again? She couldn't imagine it, but she had seen a tiny spark of something different in him last night. Maybe he was as weary as she was with where life had brought them. But she had been burnt too many times, things would never be like they were.

Tommy reached out and took her hand. Rose instinctively held his back. She had held his hand so many times in her life as she'd followed him and spent time by his side. His hand was as familiar to her as her own. She looked into his steady blue eyes.

"If you are honest with me, Tommy, then I'll be honest with you. And if you mean it, that you won't stand in my way if I want to leave, then I'll stay here – at home - until I make a decision."

He squeezed her hand and nodded, not trusting himself to speak. Rose pulled her hand away and busied herself with taking a sip of tea. Damn these emotions, they always weakened her resolve. After another drag of his cigarette, Tommy stood up and pulled his waistcoat down sharply to straighten it. He spoke over his shoulder as he walked to the door.

"For what it's worth, and in the spirit of honesty, I was proud of the way you humiliated Mosley earlier."

She smiled wryly. "So was I."

He looked at her pointedly as he opened the door. "I should let you make your own decisions more often."

And with that, he left the room, closing the door behind him, leaving Rose to try and process her swirling thoughts.

The door at the other end of the room opened and Rose looked across as Polly entered, a small smile on her face which disappeared as soon as she saw Rose. Walking over and sitting opposite her niece, Polly poured herself a cup of tea from the pot. Rose didn't speak and waited while Polly had taken a gulp and helped herself to some toast which she buttered as she spoke.

"Where's Mosley?"

Rose sat back in her chair and crossed her legs. She was feeling defensive but knew she would just have to take what Polly threw at her. She had made a big mistake, after all.

"He left."

Polly nodded as she continued to butter her toast.

"That's why Tommy looked happy when I passed him in the corridor."

Rose didn't say anything. Polly took a small bite of toast and regarded her as she ate.

"Did Tommy step in? Lock the front door and stand there with a gun or something?"

Rose shook her head.

"I decided to stay."

"Oh, you did, did you? Decided to grace us with you presence, eh? Well, we're honoured, I must say."

Rose looked down, wincing inwardly at her aunt's sarcasm. Polly carried on.

"Are you planning on going back to him? Maybe after you've squeezed Tommy for information which could help you fascist suitor with his cause?"

Rose could stand it no longer and sat forward, leaning her elbows on the table.

"Aunt Pol, what you said last night? Well … you were right. Right about it all, I can see it now. But you were wrong about me being a traitor to the family. I won't have you say that about me."

Polly took another bite of her toast, watching Rose as she spoke, her expression giving nothing away. Rose took a deep breath as she continued, trying to persuade her aunt of her intentions.

"I went to Mosley because he was charming and different and treated me like an adult – or so I thought. I loved it when I lived at May's, you know I did. It was a life without all the crime and the fighting, it was easy and normal and everything I wanted my life to be. But Tommy made me come back and was forcing me into the business and I didn't want that. I'm not a child anymore, I want to make my own choices. Then I had the accident and then Aberama arrived and – Polly, you should have seen him. He was broken. Poor Bonnie was dead and he was injured so badly. And it was all because someone wanted to give Tommy a warning."

Polly put her toast down and reached into her bag for her cigarette case. She knew how Bonnie's death had affected Aberama. He was bereft. She lit her cigarette and looked back at Rose, waiting for her to carry on.

"I felt trapped, Aunt Pol. And I know you said that we all have to just accept that this is our lot and our sacrifice and that our job is to support the family – but I couldn't support that, Aunt Pol! I couldn't. And I don't know how you've managed to either. Have you never wanted to just leave it all behind?"

Polly's eyes drifted over Rose's shoulder and she looked out of the window at the garden outside, watching as two rabbits hopped across the lawn. The truth was that yes, she had wanted to leave many times. Thinking back to her life growing up amongst the strict traditions of her Gypsy family, her marriage at a young age to a River Gypsy, his death, social services taking her children away. All that whilst she'd been just a few years older than Rose was now. Then having to shoulder the burden of raising her brother's family, the war, running the family business whilst the boys were away fighting only to have to surrender it back to them when they returned so damaged. John's death, Campbell, Michael's betrayal… Polly closed her eyes at the pain her memories brought her. Yes, she knew what it was like to feel trapped, to feel like her life would only ever consist of pain and fear. And truth be told, the only reason she hadn't run away as Rose had so many times was because she lacked Rose's fire. Where Rose was impetuous, Polly was calculated. Rose reacted whereas Polly plotted. She sighed as she looked back at Rose, the anger towards her dissipating as she found herself empathising with her.

Rose mistook the sigh for impatience and spoke more desperately.

"I know that going to Mosley was wrong, Aunt Pol. It was stupid. I thought he was my way out, that he would help me to be someone different and independent. I didn't know how awful he was. Or maybe I didn't want to see it. He didn't tell me he was bringing me here last night, I swear I didn't know. I didn't want to embarrass Tommy."

She shifted in her chair and looked down at her plate.

"Actually, I think I embarrassed myself the most. I don't know what I was thinking, wearing that dress. I thought I needed to be an adult and wear what I wanted but the truth is, he was manipulating me. He had it all planned out, didn't he?"

She looked up at Polly whose expression had softened. She nodded and was about to say something when Rose dropped a bombshell.

"Tommy wanted me to go back with Mosley to get information from him."

Polly's eyebrows shot up.

"He what?

Rose lifted one shoulder in a half-shrug. "I don't know why you're surprised."

"No, I should have known. He has a knack for finding an opportunity for his own benefit in the worst situations. But you didn't go? You went against Tommy?"

Rose nodded. "When I looked at Mosley this morning, I couldn't stand him. He's disgusting. And I don't care what Tommy thinks or wants me to do. I wasn't going anywhere with him."

Polly smiled. "Good girl."

"But I'm back where I started."

"No, sweetheart, you're not. You've moved forward. You know yourself better now. You've spent your whole life wanting to either please Tommy or push him away. Now you know that you don't have to do either. You're young, you've still got a lot to learn, but you're learning fast. You're a Shelby and that's important. You won't ever be able to run away from that. But you're not just a Shebly – you're Rose Shelby. You knew this morning what the right thing to do for yourself was – no matter what Mosley wanted, no matter what Tommy wanted. Keep doing that, and you'll keep learning."

Rose chewed her lip as she listened. She felt like she understood. Polly flicked the ash off her cigarette and took another drag.

"So, you're staying at home now?"

Rose nodded. "I'd like to."

"What did Tommy say?"

"He said he'd try to change things for the better."

Polly nodded. "He will."

"I see Michael's back."

Polly pursed her lips. "Yes, with his pregnant American wife."

Rose's jaw dropped. "Really?"

Polly shook her head. "Tommy doesn't trust him. He's testing him."

"Do you trust him?"

Polly took a sip of tea instead of answering. Rose didn't push the subject.

"Congratulations on your engagement. Aberama is perfect for you."

Polly smiled, pushing thoughts of her son out of her mind.

"I don't know about perfect, but he'll do."

Rose laughed. "Well, I like him."

"Me too. You'll be my bridesmaid, of course."

Rose's eyes lit up. She beamed. "Of course! Are you having a Gypsy wedding?"

"Maybe. Who'd have thought that I'd be planning a marriage again at my age."

"Well, you deserve to be happy, Aunt Pol."

Uncomfortable with the compliment, Polly stubbed her cigarette out and changed the subject.

"For what it's worth, I did run away when I was just a bit younger than you. I was seventeen and wanted my freedom."

"What happened?"

"Gypsies can find anyone anywhere. My father dragged me back home and thrashed me so hard, I couldn't ride a horse for two weeks."

She stood up, enjoying Rose's appalled face.

"I told you you have it better than most. I'm glad you're home, sweetheart, but I don't trust you to stay. Not yet."

Rose didn't argue as she left the room. She didn't trust herself to stay either. Standing up, she decided to leave the room before anyone else appeared. She'd had enough conversations for the day. She wanted to take Nua out and just enjoy the quietness of the grounds.

She'd just put her foot on the first step of the staircase, intending to go and change into her riding clothes, when Frances appeared round the corner.

"Ah, Miss Shelby. Mr Shelby would like to see you in his study."

Rose hesitated. What did he want? She debated asking Frances to tell Tommy she had gone out already. She didn't want another deep and meaningful conversation nor was she in the mood to listen to the next stage of Tommy's plan. But she remembered her promise to be honest with him and felt that avoiding him now wasn't a good start.

"Thank you, Frances."

And so, Rose turned and made her way to Tommy's study where she knocked on the door.

"Come"

She opened the door and found Tommy stood, looking into the fire, a piece of paper in his hand. He turned to look at her when she entered.

"Rose, sit down."

She did as she was asked, lowering herself onto one of the leather sofas, a small feeling of dread beginning inside her. Tommy sat on the other sofa. He looked slightly apprehensive which didn't help Rose's unease.

"Rose, in the new spirit of honesty which we have now adopted, there is some information I feel I shouldn't keep from you."

"What information?"

"It's probably best if you read this letter. I received it a few months ago. It will explain everything you need to know."

Rose's brow furrowed as she took the letter from Tommy. She had no idea what it could be, but as she looked at it and read what was written on it, she did indeed understand. She recognised the unusually messy handwriting immediately and didn't need to look at the signature to know who had written it. Yet, she still turned the piece of paper over to read the name which she knew so well. A name which, as she looked at it, caused a wave of every kind of emotion to wash over her.

Yours sincerely, Alfie Solomons