Esther had no idea how long she sat in the pool of blood in the bathroom, staring at the corpses of her former classmates. Whatever came after death - and if there were shinigami, she figured, there had to be something - she hoped that Keith would forgive her for not using the Note sooner to save him…

Esther didn't hear the sirens as police and ambulances pulled up to the school. She just sat on the cold floor letting the blood soak into her pants. She didn't hear the loud footsteps and shouts of the first responders as they ran full force into the building searching for a shooter who was already long dead, brains spilling out of his shattered skull.

She grabbed the notebook, clutched it to her heart, and began rocking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth thanking G-d that she was alive.

….

"7 dead; multiple injured in Maryland school shooting."

Light Yagami sighed as the chyron ran across the bottom of the screen. This world was rotten still. In his world, those who would otherwise commit these acts of terrorism would be too fearful to commit these crimes, lest they face Kira's judgment.

Sure, the incident was on the other side of the globe and was just one of many…But in his world, even the cesspool of violence and guns that was America would look to Kira for guidance. If only he could have exacted judgment on the gunman.

But, it had taken place while he was sleeping. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't be awake 24 hours a day. He had to maintain the image of a perfect college student. And to do that - he needed sleep.

He was, at the end of the day, human.

Light listened carefully to the newscast. It was nothing surprising.

A normal day.

Then gunshots.

Kids ran or hid.

And the gunman had committed suicide.

The only odd thing was that he died long before the police got there.

Scenes of the tragedy flashed on the screen: backpacks scattered in a hallway, students leaving the building hands raised in single file lines, ambulances carting away the injured, a man carrying a bloodied girl with her face buried into his chest, and the killer's school picture.

Light rested his chin on his hand and stared out the window,

There wasn't anything for Kira to do in this situation. Pity.

"What'cha going to do about that, Light?" Ryuk asked, laying on his bed. "Seems like this guy thought he was doing you a favor?"

Light turned back to the screen, which was covered in screenshots of tweets from the gunman's account. All praising Kira.

Therefore I said to you that you will die in your sins; for unless you believe that I am He, you will die in your sins…The non-believers are evil. I will rid the world of them for Kira, for He is Christ.

Kira shall rid the world of not only those who are evil but those who do not protect the White race.

The Great Replacement is at hand - but Kira, the defender of Justice, is ridding the world of those who are Responsible.

Tomorrow shall be the Day of Reckoning for the Devil worshippers…I as Kira's hand will lay judgement on the nonbelievers.

The list went on.

"Hyuk," Ryuk said, "Humans are something else. Never saw somebody go like this over a shinigami. You're really something else, Light."

Light grimaced. He didn't want to be associated with this…this…child. A pathetic sniveling thing. Somebody who twisted his words into something twisted, indistinguishable, and evil. Something Kira would not stand for.

"This isn't good, Ryuk," Light said, "People like that…they aren't welcomed in polite society. And if they start to get associated with Kira - then he's going to have a problem."

"What'cha going to do about it?"

"I'll figure it out."

For once, Light wasn't sure how to proceed. There were a lot of factors to consider here.

How would he be able to condemn the tragedy without outing himself as Kira? What would be the proper way to respond? Should Kira even bother with a response?

And how could he even know that this shooting had actually happened? What if that was false information set up by L? American shootings didn't usually make the Japanese news. None of the victims were Japanese nationals.

There was no reason for this to make the news except for the gunman's worship of Kira. And that was enough to make this newscast suspicious.

There had to be something more to it.

But what?

There was a possibility that this wouldn't go anywhere. A school shooting was nothing new. Nothing noteworthy. The incident wouldn't interest L at all.

Even with the shooter's praises, it wasn't all that different from previous similar incidents. And the case was pretty open and shut: the shooter was dead. He had killed himself.

And that was that. No reason to dig in further. Not when there were larger issues at hand. He would be attending a Task Force meeting soon, and he'd be able to get more information then.

"Well, Ryuk. We should get going. I don't want to be late for class." He turned off his laptop and left the room.

…..

Stripped of her clothing, Esther stood still in the hospital shower stall letting the water wash over her, olive skin turning red. Her mind was constantly flashing back and forth between those 373 seconds and the present.

Everyone was calling her survival a miracle.

She had been there face-to-face with the shooter and escaped uninjured,

If only they knew - it was no miracle.

She was the one who used the notebook - which sat in the hospital locker along with her cell phone.

Esther could only piece together hazy bits and pieces but somehow the notebook had made it out safely, untouched by anyone else. Nobody would think to take a notebook from a school shooting victim away for evidence.

It had been sheer good luck that things had turned out this way. If it had been taken away from her, who knows what would have happened? They could have found the short sentence she had written about Kyle and somebody would have eventually made the connection. Maybe even Kira himself.

Or L.

And then she'd be screwed. But that didn't happen. And for that she was grateful.

Because if it had fallen out of her hands, somehow, even for a moment, it would require killing more people. Innocent people.

Thank G-d she didn't have to do that.

Not yet at least

"You tryin' to drown yourself?" Zellogi asked, "Cause that doesn't seem like a good way to go about it."

She stepped out soaked to the bone, into the cold, sterile hospital air, and shivered as she struggled into a thin robe.

"Can you tell me something?"

"Depends on what that is," the shinigami replied, turning to face the wall to give her some privacy.

"You can see people's lifespans, right? But the Death Note can kill people before that time is up. If somebody killed a murderer…"

Zellogi was silent for a moment. "You wanna know if you actually saved anyone today."

"Yes," she said in a quiet voice.

"The Death Note can't kill somebody with less than 12 minutes of life left."

It took a moment for her to process what Zellogi had said. If Kyle had more than 12 minutes of life left…countless more people would have died. They had been destined to die today…But did that mean anything?

"And the people who were going to die?"

"This ain't one of your human horror movies. Nobody's gonna come and kill them just cause they didn't die."

A wave of relief washed over Esther as tears began to stream down her face and her legs turned to jelly. "Thank you, Thank you. Thank you," she whispered, grasping Zellogi's hand. "Thank you for dropping that Death Note."

…

L never believed in miracles or coincidences.

Everything happened for a reason.

As he read the reports about the massacre he found nothing noteworthy. Except for one thing.

A survivor had witnessed Kyle Kavanaugh shoot himself.

Why did he spare her? And why did he shoot himself before the police came?

It didn't match up with the kind of person he was.

He would have wanted his death to take place in front of as many people as possible. He wanted attention. He wanted Kira to see him. So why kill himself in a bathroom and only leave one witness?

A witness who would have been one of his targets…But she hadn't even been injured.

Some people were calling her survival a miracle but there had to be something more. By all accounts, that girl should in a hospital or a morgue.

This was something that would require more investigation. But he still had the Kira case to solve first.

…..

Esther buried herself in her father's embrace as he sobbed.

"Baruch Hashem," he whispered. "Thank G-d, you're okay. I was so worried."

She couldn't find the right words, or any words really, to respond with. She just hugged him tighter, taking in the scent of dough and sweat, her hands gripping at his t-shirt. She didn't want to think about anything right now.

And yet there was so much to worry about.

"Thank G-d, thank G-d, thank G-d," he repeated, each time squeezing her tight. She could feel his tears dripping onto the top of her head.

Who should she be thankful to? She had saved herself. She was grateful for the Death Note, of course - but Zellogi made it seem like she was destined to live either way.

But it had prevented her from getting shot or horribly injured. That bothered her. What would have happened if she didn't have the Death Note?

(A/N: Many thanks to my beta: WolfsLegend AKA SomberWinter on Ao3)