Bags of snacks - chips, pretzels, and popcorn, as well as empty cans of soda, were scattered about. The TV was playing some kind of nonsense reality dating show. Zellogi had disappeared up into her bedroom, sulking like a toddler.

"I cannot believe this dude thinks that this Katarina really exists. He's just been talking to a bot, right?" Becca said.

"Yeah," Esther said, trying to ignore the urge to look down at her phone. Things were finally feeling okay for the first time in ages. She should be enjoying this. She should be able to turn her phone off - laughing and joking with Becca, but she was scared. So scared of getting another call from Kira.

He had her number.

He probably knew what she looked like. Where she lived. Who she cared about. And she had absolutely nothing on him - except that he was definitely Japanese. What would she do if he called again? Her stomach began to tighten. She took a sip of Coke, hoping the bubbles would settle her stomach.

The fizzy liquid tickled as it went down her throat - but almost immediately, the feeling in her stomach began to rise. She felt it climb up, slowly, climbing up her esophagus, and then into her mouth….

BURP.

"Excuse me," Esther said meekly.

Becca just laughed. "Oh, come on. You can do better than that."

Esther shook her head.

"C'mon."

She hesitated but then took a big gulp of the soda, waited a moment, and let out an even bigger belch - BUUURP.

Becca stared at Esther, a mischievous smirk on her face. "That was still weak."

"I'm out of practice."

"That's no -Oh, my god. No way"

Becca stared at the TV mouth agape as a tall, beautiful woman appeared, walking to the stubby man in the cafe.

"Katarina?"

"Greg?"

"Holy shit. She's real. Katarina is a real person. I didn't see that coming. Plot twist of the century," Becca said, mouth agape.

Esther nodded, feigning a smile. Things were so close to feeling normal - but there was just that voice, the one in the back of her head that kept her from fully enjoying the moment. She hated it.

"Remember that episode where the woman and the cameraman were attacked by a dude with a machete?"

"Uhuh," Esther responded, glancing back down at her phone.

Becca paused the TV. "You love that episode…I know that you're dealing with a lot of shit…"

"Can we NOT talk about that? Like I don't care if you pretend like things are normal. I know they aren't. But I just wish I could go a day without somebody bringing that stuff up. I just want people to stop acting like…."

"You're right. You want to finish this episode or do you want to watch something else?"

Esther felt her phone buzz - a quick glance told her it was an unknown number.

She clicked ignore and slipped it back into her pocket. "Let's finish."

Both girls fell silent as Becca unpaused the show. Esther went through the mechanics of what they normally did. She ate chips without taking time to enjoy the taste, giving a short laugh when appropriate, hoping that if she faked enjoying what was happening, maybe she would start to believe it.

She wanted to be happy. She wanted to be carefree. She wished she could be more like Becca - who had hidden in a classroom - who heard the gunshots but was surrounded by others, keeping tabs on the events on their phones. She escaped through the window - sweaty, out of breath, and scared - but untouched and unbloodied.

If anyone asked Esther, it was the kids like Becca who were the lucky ones.

Not her.

Maybe she should have died that day. Maybe she was meant to. Or she was meant to be shot - and die later…Esther shook her head trying to get the thought out. She should focus on the moment - where at least things had the appearance of normalcy.

If she could just fake it for five minutes - that would be enough.

Esther stretched horizontally out on the gray couch that was almost as old as she was and laid her legs on Becca's lap, the way she used to.

"Gross…" Becca said pushing them off,

Esther just did it again. And again. At first the actions felt almost mechanical - but as she continued the game, it felt more natural. Soon enough, the TV went ignored as Becca began to retaliate by putting her feet on Esther's lap.

Snacks fell to the floor, spilling everywhere. The last drop of sticky, sweet soda dripped out of a knocked-over can…It almost felt like things had before. Before long, Esther let out a giggle.

Becca knocked her feet off of her lap and sat up straight, smiling. "You know that's the first time I've heard you laugh like actually laugh in a while."

Esther paused. Becca was right. "Yeah- I guess there just hasn't been a lot to laugh about."

"It's not that. You've been different. Not like the other kids…"

"The other kids didn't see what I did…"

"But you were acting weird before! I remember that day at lunch…you seemed off."

Had she?

Aside from joking about Keith…it had seemed like a normal lunch in the era of Kira. Of course, her memory had become blurred and unreliable. Certain events like the phone call earlier that morning, were perfectly etched in her mind. Others like what she had eaten for breakfast in the past week escaped her.

Did she even have breakfast this morning? Did she have lunch? She wasn't sure. She must have not eaten much if the nearly empty bags of snacks were anything to go by.

"I'm just worried about you."

If people could just stop being worried or concerned about her that would be great. Everyone was acting as though they could help her, but the idiots couldn't even recognize what the real danger was. They thought it was simply PTSD - something that could be taken care of with therapy and pills…and not the added weight of responsibility for being one of the few people who could stop Kira from world domination…and not for the guilt of Keith's death. And certainly not having an annoying thousand-year-old roommate who could kill her at any moment.

"I know. There's nothing to worry about…Ok?" She trailed off as her phone buzzed again. She couldn't bear to look.

"You wanna check that? It could be your dad."

"No. Passover's soon so, he and my uncle and aunt are going to be busy cleaning up the bakery."

Becca nodded, "I almost forgot…That explains why Mom has been making pasta every night the past week."

Both girls laughed again.

Becca could never remember when a holiday was coming up. Esther only knew because there was always something to be done at the bakery: during Rosh Hashanah, there was honey cake and round challahs to make; there was cheesecake for Shavuot, sufganiyot for Hanukkah, hamantaschen for Purim, and of course, the countless cookies and cakes for all kinds of celebrations.

Esther wasn't ready for a week of matza, jelly fruit, and mandelbrot. Her stomach wouldn't be able to take it.

Her phone buzzed again.

"Jeez. Who is trying to call you?"

"Telemarketers."

"Ooh. Give me the phone! I heard of this prank -" Becca grabbed for the phone.

"No!" Esther held the phone tightly to her chest.

Becca stopped holding her hands in the air, "Ok. I won't take it. Sorry."

Esther let the phone drop to her lap.

"Are you okay? Esther, you're worrying me."

"I-I'm fine."

Becca nodded, though Esther could tell she wasn't entirely convinced. If Kira was trying to contact her - it was only a matter of time before he tried the land line. Why the hell they still had one, she wasn't sure. But from what she could divine about him - it certainly seemed like something Kira would do.

"You look like you're going to be sick."

Esther looked up at Becca, whose face was full of concern.

"I think I ate too much."

That wasn't a total lie. She had eaten a lot, trying to distract herself, trying to pretend like things were normal. That feeling she had in the car had quickly fleeted and the reality show wasn't appealing.

There were so many things to worry about, so many moving pieces, and so much information she was missing. How was she supposed to play this game when she didn't know the rules, and Kira knew more?

Becca patted her back, lightly. "It's ok. Let me know if you need me to do anything."

"Kill me, please." She flopped down belly first onto Becca.

"No way. You're my lab partner and I need to copy my notes off of somebody."

"I got a B minus in Chemistry last semester, Becca."

"I can't copy from somebody with perfect grades - then they'll know something is up."

"I don't want to go back."

That was one of the first fully-truthful things she had said all day. And it wasn't until she had said it, did Esther realize that she had no desire to go to school. The hallways would be loud and crowded, she'd have to deal with well-meaning but poorly equipped teachers, pitying looks from some kids, invasive questions from others…Homework.

Why couldn't homework be her biggest concern?

"I know. I'm scared to go back too. But - we'll make it through. Together."

Esther managed to give her a real smile as Becca reached over to grab her hand.

Light sat in the hotel room, surrounded by the rest of the Task Force. Matsuda was blabbing on something or other. It didn't really matter - L wasn't listening to him either. Just gnawing on another brightly colored, sickly sweet hard candy.

"Thank you, Matsuda. That's enough," L said. "Now, there's a new matter at hand. Two unusual deaths that I believe were Kira related."

Light internally awakened and focused his attention on L. Why was he going to bring this up now? He hadn't said a word about it.

"Unusual how?" Soichiro asked. Light glanced over at his father before thinking.

"Two deaths, in particular, have stood out to me. Neither of them are people Kira would traditionally target. The latest one was Ronald E. Smith about two days ago. He embezzled $3.2 million from the charity he worked for - the Tumor Foundation of North America over a course of several years. He died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound. About 3 weeks ago, James Charleston, an American right-wing political pundit and religious leader was killed by a stray bullet."

Soichiro raised an eyebrow, "These are both gun-related deaths. I don't see how they're related to Kira."

So L does suspect that Esther is a second Kira. But how would he make the connection between Ronald Smith and Kira? Was it the fact that he shot himself? That idiot should have just given him a heart attack - I can't predict how she's going to act.

"James Charleston's death was interesting. It was a stray bullet. He was high profile and controversial," L continued in that ridiculous monotone voice. "It wouldn't be surprising if somebody had assassinated him. But a man, so clearly pro-gun killed by a stray bullet just days after a mass shooting? It's suspicious… But Kira isn't one for irony."

"Are you saying that he was killed by another Kira?"

"It's certainly possible. And Ronald Smith wasn't scheduled to go to trial for several months. It wasn't huge in the news either - so it doesn't make sense as to why -"

Shit. How'd he figure it out?

"That's pure speculation!"

L didn't react to his Soichiro's outburst. Instead he just turned to Light. "Light-kun, would you like to explain who we think is the second Kira and why?"

"You have a suspect?! Light, why didn't you mention this?"

"Dad. L and I were investigating this lead independently - we didn't want to miss anything. We started with James Charleston - but I didn't note anything too unusual about Ronald Smith's death."

He was the one that manipulated Esther into killing that man. It had been mostly a random choice. Light just needed somebody in America, who had committed a large enough crime that they could reasonably be killed by Kira but wasn't under surveillance. But the stupidity of the girl to have him die by suicide - had thrown him for a loop.

But only Kira would know that. Light wouldn't be able to make the connection as things were.

"Ah - a foreign national died of a heart attack shortly after fabricating some news reports implicating Smith in another crime. The hacker's attempt to erase the data was interrupted - while the files were corrupted - I had a team put it together."

Light hadn't paid too much attention to the middlemen in the scheme. It was supposed to be airtight.

I don't make mistakes, he thought. I can still make things go my way. I can still win. I can use this conversation to keep Esther from doing anything stupid.

"The data shows the information was sent to a single cell phone. They are still working on decrypting the number - but I believe I know who it belongs to." L said.

Esther laid awake in bed.

Zellogi was pissed that he couldn't sleep on the bean bag that night, since Becca had taken it for herself. Esther wasn't about to give her bed up to a cranky shinigami, even if it meant he'd be a pain in the ass tomorrow…But he still had the sense to leave the girls alone. Thank goodness for that, she thought.

It was almost like having privacy. Almost like things were normal. What she would do to keep that feeling, and to get rid of that little voice in the back of her mind whispering what ifs and trying to come up with solutions to problems that she didn't have all the details of.

The phone calls from earlier hadn't been him. It had been her aunt, checking in since she had gotten a new phone. She was one of the maybe…three, well four now people who ever called her instead of texting.

The thoughts were keeping her up. It was past midnight, and she couldn't sleep.

She could hear shuffling from the kitchen. The humming told her it was her dad, not Zellogi…her hand throbbed, as the memory of smashing it against the wall returned to her. She should talk to him.

She climbed out of bed, tiptoed around Becca, and went downstairs.

"Dad…can we talk?"

Her dad turned around, sandwich in hand, "Hey, sweetie…of course we can talk. What about?" His eyes traveled down to her bandaged hand. "What happened?"

"I got upset while I was with the rabbi. I might have punched…"

"You punched the rabbi?!"

"No-no. I punched a diploma or something. Cut my hand."

Her dad breathed a sigh of relief. "Good, cause we can't switch synagogues. Gene Schneider goes to Congregation Emmanuel and I still haven't forgiven him-But why did you get upset?"

Esther took a deep breath. In through the nose. And exhaled. Out through the mouth. "She told me you told her to talk to me…I don't understand why you wouldn't talk to me yourself."

He sat down, nodding. "Esther, sweetie, I don't know what I can do to help…at least the rabbi, she's got experience and education in helping people deal with trauma. I work in a bakery. I never took any psychology classes. I was doing what I thought was best. I'm worried about you."

Everyone was so damned worried about her. That's what they said - but what could they do? Treating her as some fragile tchotchke, as though she was going to break, when she was secretly carrying a weight the way Atlas was tasked with holding up the sky.

"I'm fine, Dad." She knew she wasn't convincing.

"Esther Judith Cohen…I am your father. I know when you're fine. And you are not."

Esther winced at the mention of her middle name. "I just…don't want you worrying about me," she admitted.

"I'm your dad. It's my job to worry about you…between the shooting, that dipshit Jimmy Carlson-"

"James Charleston."

"Whatever - that, and what happened at the bakery today…"

"What happened at the bakery?!"

It was her dad's turn to look regretful. "Somebody threw a rock through the window. Nobody was hurt. Your uncle, cousins and I were all in the back cleaning."

"When did this happen?"

"As we were closing up. That's why I was late coming home. I had to help clean up and give a report to the police. I was going to tell you in the morning."

Was he though?

"It's nothing you need to concern yourself about, Esther. Everyone is fine. Let me worry about the big things so you can worry about the things you're supposed to: grades, dating, college…You deserve to let yourself relax."

The words should have been comforting. But knowing that her family's bakery had been vandalized just hours after she talked with Kira, of all people, couldn't be a coincidence.

"Do they know who did it? The window smashing?"

"Remember that group of guys who vandalized the Reform synagogue not too long ago? The police think it was them. Same motorcycles were seen at both scenes."

"That's good, they can arrest them now."

"They won't be. It's vandalism at most…getting the hate crime charge to stick is going to be hard. But, don't worry about it. It's an easy enough fix. Now," he said, kissing the top of her head, "Go to sleep. You look exhausted. Some rest will do you good. Take some melatonin if you have to."

She nodded - as she ascended the carpeted stairs. But she knew she wasn't going back to sleep right away. She had other things to do first.

A/N

I tried to give Esther a bit of a break - I swear. Unfortunately, the story had other ideas. At times, the plot writes itself and the characters act in ways beyond my control.

Little notes about the Jewish holidays mentioned in passing

Rosh Hashanah - the Jewish New Year; the round challah represents the unending cycle of life and death. It is also traditional to eat sweet foods for a sweet year.

Shavuot - celebrates the revelation of the Torah as well as the start of the wheat harvest in Israel. It is celebrated by studying the Torah all night and eating dairy products, particulary cheesecake among Ashkenazi Jews.

Hanukkah - Probably the most well known Jewish holiday, celebrating the miracle of the oil. Lots of fried foods are eaten, particularly sufganiyot (jelly donuts).

Purim - celebrates victory against Haman, who wanted to kill the Jews, the story told in the Book of Esther. Hamantaschen are triangle shaped cookies, usually filled with fruit jelly. The shape is said to represent Haman's hat.

There are lots of other holidays and celebrations. Even though Esther's family isn't observant, they're still a kosher Jewish bakery. Since people aren't allowed to have any chametz (leavened food) during Passover nor benefit from them - kosher food establishments will shut down during that week - cleaning often begins long before hand.

Unleavened foods don't have a lot of fiber to them, hence the stomach aches.

Also the show they're watching is based on 90 Day Fiance. Both events mentioned happened in the actual show.