The school hallways were absolutely suffocating.

Esther had forgotten what it had been like to be around so many people in such a small space. Like a fish swimming upstream, she struggled against the crowd trying to make it to class. She kept her head down, focused on her sneakers.

She couldn't bear to look at anyone's face, even as it seemed everybody was staring at her.

And whispering.

She couldn't make out what everyone was saying - but she was pretty sure it was about her. Why else would they back away from her if she came too close like she had some contagious disease?

It couldn't be how she looked.

Esther had done her best to get some rest - the dark circles around her eyes had faded somewhat. Her clothes were clean and she had even managed to get her mess of curls to look somewhat presentable.

Maybe things were better this way - rather than being asked the same questions over and over again…At least it was April, and the school year would be over sooner rather than later.

Maybe she could get her dad to transfer her to a different school in September. Or maybe she could just drop out and work in the bakery…Be in the back, where there weren't so many people.

Maybe she should have listened to her therapist and done that "exposure therapy" stuff - gotten used to people before school started and not brushed her off, saying that she'd be fine. It was such an obvious lie. But her therapist had said it was okay, even good for her to go back.

Esther couldn't believe that she had bought the act.

Her shoes squeaked as she hurried down the freshly waxed hallway. The janitors must have spent days scrubbing off all the blood, wiping down the lockers, and cleaning the debris that had been left behind after everyone's things had been gathered.

"I can't believe we're back here," muttered Zellogi. "Maybe there'll be another shooting…and we can get out of here again."

She glanced over her shoulder to shoot him a look. Only she found herself glaring directly at another student. They raised an eyebrow.

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing. Sorry," she said, before scooting away. Esther swore she could hear them whisper "weirdo" under their breath before turning away.

She just kept her head down and continued down the hall. When she entered the classroom, the whole room fell silent. She would have preferred the whispers.

Esther gave a small smile but avoided eye contact with anyone.

Ever since that night, talking to her dad about what happened at the bakery. She had been too nervous to look at almost anyone's face.

She sat in the bathtub, in her pajamas, hunched over her laptop. The Death Note lay next to her and Zellogi sat cross-legged on the toilet, pomegranate juice dripping onto the floor as he shoveled the seeds into his mouth.

She had been researching for over an hour and she still didn't have all the information she needed on those damn hooligans who vandalized the bakery. She had found posts full of slurs and threats, insane conspiracy theories, and praises for people whose names she didn't ever want to see again. There were a few bits and pieces of pro-Kira propaganda…celebrations of the murders of every criminal who wasn't white…but no names.

Frustrated she slammed the computer shut.

"You should get some rest, Esther. You aren't gonna kill people if you're not sleeping…" the shinigami said lazily.

"I just need…five minutes…I want to find those names first. I have names for some, but no photos, and photos for some but no names…I just need to figure out who is who…" Her eyelids began to droop and she felt herself nodding off to sleep.

She shook her head, as though she could get rid of her exhaustion like a drawing on an EtchaSketch. Then she remembered…

"You mentioned something once, about some kind of deal? What was that?"

He gave a laugh, "Heh. The eye deal. Half of your remaining life span and I give you shinigami eyes."

Esther bit her lip. Would it be worth it?

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

She had an important decision to make.

In the end, Esther hadn't made the deal. The idea of having that knowledge was too much, especially when she had so much weight on her shoulders already.

"Hey," Becca said, slipped into the seat beside her, and poked her with a pencil. "I wasn't sure if you were going to come."

"I think coming may have been a mistake. I want to go home."

"Oh, come on. What's the worse that can happen?"

"I can think of several things," Zellogi whispered.

She must have glared at him because Becca shot her a confused look. "Are you seeing things or something?"

Esther stood up, the chair gave a loud SQUEAK, and ran out of the classroom. And right into the bathroom.

"I can't do this, Zellogi. I can't do this…" She huddled underneath one of the sinks while rocking back and forth. "I can't do -"

"Esther? Esther, are you in here?"

"Go away, Becca."

Becca didn't leave. Moments later, Esther felt her friend's arms wrap around her. She seemed angry - "Look, you said we'll get through this together, and I'm here."

"I-I am fine. I just need-" She squirmed her way out of Becca's grasp.

"Just tell me…And I'll help."

"I just need some space….Okay?"

"How much more space could you need?"

"I watched two people die, Becca…Sorry, I'm not over that yet."

"You know what I mean! I'm worried about you."

"I appreciate that…but there's nothing you can do to help me."

"There's gotta be something, Esther! There's gotta be something I can do for you."

"You wouldn't understand. You weren't there that day."

"Then tell me!" Becca yelled. "I'm your best friend. You're supposed to tell me things. You're supposed to trust me. I've been trying to be supportive; let you have space when you wanted it, be a listening ear, give advice…But it feels like you're keeping secrets from me."

"And I'm not allowed to have secrets?" Esther said, incredulous. "Am I not allowed to have things that are only meant for me?"

"Meant just for you? And what about your friend Zellogi? You seem to talk to him about a lot of things. I don't know if he's some dude you met online or whatever - but I've heard his name several times and it seems you talk to him a lot more than me…"

Becca's eyes began to well up with tears. "And I know it's silly, but I'm hurt that you'd rather talk with him than me. We've known each other since pre-school! What is about him that makes him a better person to talk to than me?"

It was like the whole world came to a stop. Esther could barely collect her thoughts…She could hear her heartbeat in her ears, the bathroom started swirling and she began to feel dizzy. This was not how things were supposed to go. She had been so careful? Hadn't she?

Kira had noticed what she had done. L noticed. But that was different. They knew what they were looking for. But if Becca figured out something was up? Who else knew?

"It's…complicated."

"Tell me how it's complicated."

"I can't. I don't want you…"

"You don't want me to…what? Worry? Cause we're far past that, Esther. I don't think this guy is helping you…"

Well, that part is true, Esther thought. She heard Zellogi give a kek of amusement. What was she going to say? She took in a deep breath, "You're right. He's not very helpful but I can't get rid of him."

"Can I at least talk with this guy?"

Esther chewed the inside of her cheek for a second, "For your own safety…no."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You wouldn't understand…"

Becca's expression turned icy cold, "What wouldn't I understand? You know this relationship isn't healthy but you choose to stay in it. I can't stand it. I'm not going to watch you ruin your life for some guy."

She stood up, wiped her hands on her jeans, and began walking to the door. Esther grabbed her hand.

"D-don't go… I'll let you meet Zellogi." The words came out before she could stop them. She wished she could take them back, but it was too late.

Becca stopped and turned around, "When?"

"After school…"

"Where?"

"Behind the bleachers."

She raised an eyebrow. "And you promise he's not a serial killer?"

There was a moment of hesitation - "Promise."

"Fine. I'll see you then."

Becca walked out, the bathroom door slamming behind her. Esther watched silently, rubbing her temples.

Zellogi just stared at her, head cocked to the side. "Okay. I'm confused."

"Just be on your best behavior and don't fucking kill her."