Hello dear readers I'm back!
Though with an interlude, that was suppose to be part of another chapter, but got so long I made its own thing that works out.
Don't worry though, I have more chapters up coming this month getting on track for the big showdown with Pravda, but still have a lot to sort out.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your patience with this story that has almost taken a full year to complete that was definitely not my intention, but we're almost to the finish line, and I'm not giving up.
So till the next Authors Thought, be well and be safe and enjoy the rest of your weekend with friends and family, I'll see you next Saturday.
The day after Miho's departure back to the Akagi…
"It's not far now, my lady," Kikuyo confirmed as she walked along the dirt path dressed in a blue and white kimono with Shiho at her side.
Shiho didn't respond but nodded as she adjusted the loose-fitting jacket she was wearing along with some simple jeans and running shoes, as the early morning chill was still in the air with a light mist accompanying it as well. Looking around, Shiho took in the rows of trees adorned on both sides of the path, part of the immense forest behind the Nishizumi estate that the family had preserved for generations.
This very forest held many memories for Shiho, a place that had given her moments of happiness and peace. A place that allowed her to escape the estate when things had become too much to handle when it came to the Nishizumi name. Many times in her youth, she walked the entire forest by herself, caring little for direction, just simply needing to escape her reality for an hour or two.
Then it became a place to escape with Tsueno when Shiho returned to the estate after college, giving birth to Maho at home. With things always tense with her mother, Shiho would drag her then-husband into these very woods, of course, to enjoy some peace as a happy, lovey couple, resorting to acting like some love-struck teenagers than young adults, but they didn't care. Before long, their activities became more intimate, leading to Miho being born
Even after Miho was brought into this world, Shiho and Tsueno still came to these woods to escape Nayoko's iron grip. That all ended when Nayoko quietly passed away, with Shiho having to fully take on her responsibilities to the family, leaving behind these very woods that would only enjoy the presence of her daughters when they were old enough and would play here regularly.
It's been almost fifteen years since I walked this trail...the last time was when Miho and Maho wanted me to come with them to play in the woods...why does every time I think about those times, it feels like another life...one separated from the time I turn back to the Nishizumi style truly and leaving my daughters behind...
Shiho thought, as she sighed once more, being reminded how much had changed when she reverted to her severe self so long ago on that fateful day her husband's infidelity was made known.
Seeing her mistress in some distress, Kikuyo spoke up. "It's a bit nostalgic being in these woods. The last time I was here was because Lady Miho and Maho wanted me to walk with them."
"I remember coming home that day to find you all cake with mud and wet as well," Shiho replied, looking at her maid with a playful look.
A nervous chuckle escapes Kikuyo's mouth. "It was because Lady Miho had tried to grab a fish by hand from the pond, but she missed and fell in. So I panicked and went to grab her, with Maho following. Nearly gave me a heart attack when that happened."
"That was Miho at the age; I often forget how adventurous she was then. Always getting muddy or dirty when she plays, never quite becoming the lady I expected of her, but made me smile all the same," Shiho spoke softly, her mind flooding with images of her youngest bright smile.
"Lady Maho was the same, though she did her best as the older sister to keep Miho out of danger," Kikuyo added.
"Yes," Shiho nodded in response. "I ask a lot of Maho when looking out for Miho. Especially when Tsueno and I were fighting, so much responsibility lay on her at such a young age. Yet she did it without complaint, even after Tsueno left, and I became such a monster."
Kikuyo stops suddenly, reaching out to touch Shiho's shoulder to make her stop. "My lady, you need not blame yourself over that anymore. Things are going to get better, especially with Miho doing her part. I'm sure Maho will come around as well."
A sad sigh left Shiho's lips as she brought her hand up to touch Kikuyo's on her shoulder as she spoke. "Miho...she has always been a forgiving soul, but Maho, I know, will have more resentment towards me."
"I know it may seem that way, especially knowing you both weren't on good terms after Miho left the estate for Chi-Ha-Tan, but Lady Maho still loves you. All she ever wanted was for her family to come together once more," Kikuyo argued gently.
"Will only know when we talk again," Shiho said, then looked back to the dirt path in front of them. "We best be quick about this. We can't dawdle since I'm still on house arrest and now effectively breaking it."
"Yes, my lady, let us proceed," Kikuyo agree.
The two continue their journey through the woods, staying on the dirt path for a while longer before stopping at a particular spot where a hidden trail was tucked away along the brush and undergrowth. It was only known to Shiho and Kikuyo, who had marked a tree with an X. The path was very narrow, making both women have to walk single file, till eventually they broke from the trail and the woods to an opening in the woods and their objective.
A traditional Japanese hut stood alone in the clearing, its timber build showing its aging, but it held a stout nature with its triangle roof. It rested on a slightly elevated plank platform, with a Shoji sliding door at its front.
It was hut Shiho knew all too well, for various reasons as she took in its sight. A place she had discovered most unusually. After that, it had been Shiho's hideout when she wanted to get away; then, it became a place for her and Tsueno to run to when they moved back to the Nishizumi estate, where they spent many nights here, letting themselves be intoxicated with their love for one another.
Just thinking over those warm nights, the feeling of Tsueno's frame press against hers, passionate voices filling each other's ear, yearning for more, and letting their young love meld into a rythmn of their bodies like a dance, made Shiho's cheeks warm. Yet she pushes these memories down as she walks across the grass to the hut with Kikuyo close behind. They both climbed the small steps and took their shoes off before opening the Shoji door slowly.
Inside, the floor was covered in tatami floor mats, with a vast futon occupying most of the small space. A sliding door closet was against the wall to the left, and a small low table was pressed to the right of the room, with a pair of wooden teacups and kettle to go with it.
Just as I remembered it...just as I left it all those years ago...
Shiho thought, looking around the room for a moment, then turned to Kikuyo. "So this is where you found Miho?"
"Yes, she was already inside when I dragged her friend here," Kikuyo replied.
Looking back at the room, Shiho was puzzled why Miho would come here. Shiho was sure she had no memory of ever bringing Miho or Maho to this place, mostly because she had been busy running the family affairs and their Sensha-do school. Leaving no time to show the two of them, then when Tsueno left, it had all but slipped her mind. Not to mention that this hut was hidden deep in the woods, making it more challenging to find.
"I don't know why she sought this place out or how she knew of this place," Shiho openly questioned.
Kikuyo then began to fidget a little in place, then spoke. "I believe she and Lady Maho discovered this when they were kids."
"Really?" Shiho balked, looking at her maid.
A nod from Kikuyo follows the question. "They had come back one day from the woods, telling me about some adventure they had been on, about some big demon frog leading them around."
Shiho instantly felt her heart skip a beat. "A demon frog?"
"Yes, my Lady. However, Lady Maho tried to cover up the story, most likely not wanting to get in trouble. I'm sure they must have discovered this place, probably thinking they had done something bad by entering it when they did," Kikuyo explains.
"Quite a tale; however, I do not remember you telling me of this," Shiho questioned with a raised eyebrow.
Making Kikuyo fidget again. "Very sorry, I had meant to tell you, but I thought it was just the girls being...well...just themselves. Nothing bad happened, so I thought it best not to make a fuss over it."
Shiho let out an amused huff, then placed a hand on Kikuyo's shoulder. "I'm sure you gave them an earful, while at the same time, I trust your judgment."
"Thank you, my lady," Kikuyo said with a bow, then looked back at the room. "Now the question is, why did she come here?"
Taking another long look around the room, Shiho shook her head as she couldn't find anything suggesting that Miho had some reason to be here. Making her think this was nothing but a coincidence that her daughter had discovered this place. This journey seemed fruitless while she was already about to leave and head back to the estate, not wanting to spend long in an area that reminded her about what she had lost.
"Ribbit."
The croak filled the room, making Shiho stop before she decided to leave, looking back to the room for the source. But, instead, her eyes caught a large bugle sticking up in the covers of the futon that suddenly began to move towards the pair of women. Shiho eyed it intensely while Kikuyo started to step to the front to protect her mistress but was stopped by Shiho herself as she held an outreach arm.
Suddenly the moving object made it to the edge of the covers and revealed itself as it slipped out from under. The sight of it made Shiho go wide eye, along with Kikuyo. It was an oddly tan-colored frog that was abnormally large for its size, almost equal to a small cat.
"It's you," Shiho whispered.
Kikuyo noticed what had been said. "My, Lady? Do you know this animal?"
"I...I do, or maybe this is a different one. It's got the same size and color," Shiho spoke softly.
"What do you mean?" Kikuyo press.
"I discovered this hut when I was a child, but not on my own; it was a frog like this one that jumped onto the dirt path. Of course, I tried to ignore it, but it snatched the snack in my hand, and I gave chase. It led me to this hut, and that was the last time I saw it," Shiho said in astonishment.
"That would have been almost thirty years ago if my math is correct," Kikuyo said with astonishment.
Shiho nodded slowly, still trying to come to terms with what she was seeing. "Yes, it doesn't take a genius to know a frog doesn't live that long if, by some chance, this is the same one."
"Ribbit."
The frog croaks again, and then without waiting on the ladies to ponder more on its existence that broke the laws of nature, it hops away from the futon. Eventually, it was crouched in front of the closet door, then began to croak loudly at the door. Both women tilt their heads in confusion at the curious actions. Then it turns to them and croaks loudly again.
"Hmm," Shiho coo, then move towards the closet.
The frog got out of her way and settled down to stare at Shiho when she got close. Shiho stares back at the frog for a moment, then looks at the closet door. Then eventually felt that she understood what she needed to do, as she placed her hand on the handle and pulled the door open. Inside was nothing but a bare space, collecting dust, but nothing else remained.
Then it caught her eye.
Shiho notices a small gap in the back wall of the closet. With focused eyes, Shiho honed in on the small wall gap as she reached out to it, pressing on it. Finally, the opening gave way, revealing it to be like a small secret door with something inside that captivated Shiho the instant her eyes laid on it.
Inside this small compartment lay a long rectangular black case. However, it looked like it had been hidden for some time, though surprisingly, the case had a pristine shine. Shiho felt excitement and trepidation all at once, seeing the case that she could not explain, making her reach out to open the case and the prize inside.
"Mistress Shiho!" Kikuyo yelp.
Quickly Shiho pulls back to look over her shoulder, just in time to see the tan frog leap with more speed than it should for its size, rapidly close the distance with the open Shoji door then disappear outside. Shiho got to her feet to give chase, but as she reached the door, the frog was long gone. It had just vanished into thin air, making Shiho feel uneasy, as this whole event seemed to be something beyond human understanding.
"Mistress, did the frog mean to lead you to this?" Kikuyo ask.
Shiho turned around to see Kikuyo had taken the rectangular black case from the hidden spot. She was holding it out in Shiho's direction. Shiho slowly walked over to Kikuyo and placed her hand on the case to open it, revealing what was inside.
Inside this case lay something ancient and considered sacred in Japan. Something that was part of their culture, which had defined a bloody era of the nation, with a certain mysticism coupled with the men and women who carried it through history. These two women found this object was a katana; its saya or sheath was surrounded by white cushion cloth, and the hilt of the sword was covered in an intricate web of Tsukamaki black wrapping, speaking to the care its maker had taken to wrap it around the handle.
With a gentle touch, Shiho took the katana out of the box, as Kikuyo closed it, then stared in awe at the ancient weapon of Japan's history.
Working it in both hands, Shiho noticed that along the saya were a few Kanji words etched carefully into the wood, making Shiho squint to understand them properly, which didn't take long to figure out.
Duty, Strength, Family
Words that Shiho knew well enough from her mother's early teachings of the Nishizumi way. Yet this katana didn't seem to be something that had been made recently as Shiho continued to work it around in her hands, then grabbed the hilt and pulled the katana free some of the saya.
"It's beautiful," Kikuyo whisper out.
"It is," Shiho agree, looking over the katana with her heart beating in her chest hard.
The blade itself was clean and well oil. Shiho could see her own reflection in the steel, which attested to its meticulous maintenance and care given to it. Holding the palm of her hand up, she pressed the blade lightly to her skin, which made Kikuyo nervous, but Shiho didn't let it stay pressed against her skin a second longer.
"It's still sharp," Shiho commented.
"How? This hut is ancient and must have been put here long before you were born, my lady," Kikuyo added, holding the sword case to her chest.
"I can't explain it, but something tells me this is our family's sword, held by our great ancestor Nakano Nishizumi," Shiho stated.
"If that is the case, it makes it strange that none of your other family have ever held it before, let alone found it," Kikuyo said.
"I agree," Shiho replied, working the blade over again with both hands on the hilt. It felt light in her hands, like it was a part of her body, as her Kendo lessons that she once practiced at Kuromorimine came back to her, part of the physical regime placed on the girls.
"This is all very strange, a frog you haven't seen since your own childhood, and now this sword," Kikuyo remarked, looking around the room as if wondering if there were more secrets or wonders to be found.
"Or maybe this is happening as it should be," Shiho answered, running her hand along the back of the katana that wasn't sharp.
"You make it sound like this part of some prophecy or destiny, my lady. An event we see in movies or books, not here in the real world," Kikuyo argues.
"You may be right, but there are many mysteries in our world we can't explain, yet for all that, finding this sword does feel like destiny," Shiho spoke quietly, still looking at the sword in awe.
Then she noticed that the blade had another set of Kanji words etched into the metal on one side of the blade.
Brave, Warrior, Guardian.
Words that spoke to what the holder of this katana must be and what they must do. Shiho could instantly understand that as she worked the blade in her hand once more. Even if she couldn't explain, Shiho felt connected with the sword, which was why she felt so strongly that it belonged to her family through the generations. But, even more importantly, it belonged to her great ancestor Nakano Nishizumi, who had saved their clan from peril during the Sengoku Period.
This sword carries their entire family history with it.
This means...it belongs to the one who leads this family...or will lead this family one day...
Shiho thought, knowing now what she had to do. She gestured towards Kikuyo for the saya, then took it with a gentle but firm touch. She cups the end of the saya with her left hand, then places the back of the katana that was blunted against her hand while sliding it till the tip reaches the entrance of the saya, then slides the blade home with a finishing click. It spoke volumes to Shiho's skills, as the blade didn't rattle as she put it away; it was a muted affair.
Giving the sheathed katana a look over, Shiho then turns her eyes to Kikuyo. "This sword is to be held by the one who will lead our family."
"That would be you, my lady, would it not?" Kikuyo question.
Shiho shook her head gently. "I'm merely its finder, nothing more. But, unfortunately, my time ruling the Nishizumi family is ending quicker than I hope."
"The grievances aren't holding up. Your lawyer said as much when those Federation agents came by yesterday to question you."
A soft sigh escapes Shiho's lips. "It doesn't matter if the trial goes my way with grievances and child neglect. The stain I've caused on the Nishizumi family can't be undone. That is why this sword has no place in my hands."
"My lady," Kikuyo quietly said in distress.
Seeing she was upsetting her maid and friend, Shiho looked to the open shoji door to see that the morning mist was dying away, letting in the warm sun to bring joy to the world. Prompting Shiho to want to bask in it, if only to help alleviate her worries and her burning questions and help her friend feel better. With a wave of the hand, Shiho asked Kikuyo to follow her outside, where the two settled down on the hardwood floor of the raised platform with their legs dangling off the edge.
"It's been some time since I've been outside...I like to feel the sun for a little bit before we head back," Shiho commented.
With Kikuyo nodding in agreement. "As you say, my lady. It is a gorgeous morning."
Then both women stare at the open grassland in front of them, with the large trees surrounding the area around the hut. The sun's shining rays enhanced the beauty of it all, the stillness it seemed to radiate, and the calm it brought to both of them just watching this simple natural phenomenon. Out here, there was nothing but this to enjoy, no worries about legal troubles, separation from your family, and a mountain of other terrible things.
Here, in this place, though both women would not know it, was the same place where Nakano Nishizumi herself had walked and personally built this hut. As a place to get away when leading her clan became too much at times, The hut closely tied it with her family, and it had withstood the trials of time to stay here for her future family members to enjoy.
Shiho had no way of knowing of this, but part of her could feel an attachment to this place that ran deeper than just a place her childhood had known and part of her young adult life. This place was part of her family's long tradition, which fought to survive during Japan's bloodiest age. Where clans rose and fell, some being cut down before they ever made a name for themselves. Yet through it all, the Nishizumi name had come through it, clawing and fighting as tigers, whether a woman or man had led them.
Till this very day.
Till this very time.
Where once more, the clan was in dire straits.
Once more, Shiho worked the sheathed katana in her hand. Once more, her eyes were drawn to the kanji words etched neatly into the black wood. She was examining them again with great interest, as Shiho wanted to understand these simple words in a deeper sense.
Duty, Strength, Family.
They seemed straightforward, but there was more to them than just that in Shiho's mind. As if they were speaking of what every Nishizumi must do in their family, not just the one who held this katana. Everyone had a duty to uphold, everyone had the strength within themselves to help persevere through the darkest of times, and lastly, every one of them was valued as a family member of their clan.
"That's what it means to be a Nishizumi truly... Unfortunately, I've been looking at it all wrong...what a fool I was," Shiho whispered to herself, clutching the saya harder.
At this moment, after more than 30 years of being a practitioner of the Nishizumi style and thinking she was the master, Shiho now realizes she was nothing but an amateur. She only touched the surface of what it meant from a warrior standpoint, but the Nishizumi require you to be more. Do more, not for yourself, but for those around you who help build your strength and courage to meet the challenges.
Meaning for Shiho, her family had been doing everything wrong for so long, even before she was born. She wondered where it had gone wrong when power and control dominated their family's identity, its wants, and the women who had to fight almost life and death duels for nothing more than the right to lead. Maybe it had always been that way, but Shiho knew that this was a new era for the Nishizumi family, and though she may not direct it towards this new era, she must help Miho and Maho by whatever means to see their family be better.
Speaking of family...
Shiho suddenly thought, her eyes turning to Kikuyo, who was staring aimlessly at the open land, though a slight smile adorned her lips.
She's been by my side through it all...but I think if I'm to start to become a better Nishizumi...I should start with the first person I call a friend...
Shiho thought again, then took a deep breath, for she had a past wound that needed to be healed.
"Kikuyo," Shiho said gently, prompting the maid to turn her head in her direction.
"My lady, something you need?" Kikuyo asks earnestly, ready to do her duty.
Making Shiho smile to see her always at the ready, but spoke again. "You were the greatest gunner I ever had during my Sensha-do career."
A deep crimson blush came over Kikuyo hearing the praise, beginning to stutter in response. "M...my...my lady, what...wh...what brought this on?"
A soft chuckle left Shiho's lips, then she spoke in a cheerful tone. "It's the truth, though I think I never really praised you when we fought together as much as I should have."
Calming herself from the earlier embarrassment, Kikuyo cleared her throat and spoke. "This is true, but when you did offer your rare praise, it meant more to me. I felt I was worthy of being your gunner after you chose me from the first-year group."
"Yet, those three years that you and I spent together in that Tiger, you never alluded any allocation as a top gunner. I don't think even once you were mentioned in the Sensha-do battle reports," Shiho commented.
Kikuyo nodded, a sort of sad smile taking its place on her lips. "It's the fate of us crew members that aren't tank commanders. We even had a saying amongst the group, we the unnamed are not to do less because of that, but fight harder for those who know our worth."
"I...I never heard of that," Shiho said with a shocked tone.
"There was ladies' agreement between the crews not to let the tank commanders know. We often use that saying to remind ourselves that we were striving together not for personal glory but for achieving victory for Kuromorimine, which would honor all our hard work when we did," Kikuyo explain.
Shiho flelt numb for a moment, unable to reply for a moment, then found her voice. "I see...I should have done more to better understand our team's crewmates."
"Even if you never met them, they still fought hard for you, for your name, and the Nishizumi style," Kikuyo quickly said.
"Yet, I didn't know their faces or who they were. They must have felt like they were fighting for a deity, not a simple girl trying to uphold her family's legacy," Shiho said while shaking her head as she added another to her list of past issues she had caused.
"No...they respected you, looked up to you, and wanted to be like you. Your strength that was displayed on the match field was what drove them to train harder because just by your actions, you push them to want to go past their limits. As blooming young ladies, you were our ideal role model," Kikuyo enlightened, trying to make her mistress see reason.
"Ideal role model, huh?" Shiho said with a sad chuckle. "I'm no role model...nothing for others to aspire themselves to be like. I rather them be warm than cold, inviting rather than standoffish, and good mothers, not one letting tradition dominate how she should raise their children."
"My lady," Kikuyo said, the upset tone evident to Shiho.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be so...depressing. As the days go by, I'm discovering more about things I could and should have done better...but I coward away because I was afraid of opening up. That was until you, of course," Shiho said, looking at Kikuyo now.
"Me?" Kikuyo replied, with another blush coming on.
"Yes, you, while other girls talk to me in a formal fashion. You would ask me how I was feeling, take me out clothes shopping, and see me for nothing more than a girl you wanted to be friends with. With you, I wasn't Shiho Nishizumi, the future leader of the Nishizumi style; I was just Shiho to you, nothing more, nothing less," Shiho explained.
"Oh, that," Kikuyo said as the memories of their youth came to her. "That was only after a year of being together that I felt strong enough to ask you to be more than my tank commander, but my friend as well."
"Yes, I think that was the beginning of my loosening up. I always kept others at arm's length because I had gone through many crews in middle school. After all, they always ask to transfer out due to demanding command style, so my mother kept rotating new ones in, but eventually, they transferred out like the rest, so I never got close to anyone," Shiho stated, remembering those miserable days when she was at her loneliest in school.
Kikuyo was shocked by the confession. "I never knew. I always figure you just chose the best of the crew members from the group."
"No, that was what happened," Shiho said with a shake of her head. "That was till you and the others. Where others would probably give up under my harsh and unrelenting command, you rose to my expectations and exceeded greatly."
"Like I said before. You had our respect. We were honored to fight under Shiho Nishizumi and would not fold under whatever you ask of us," Kikuyo said with a determined look.
Shiho nodded to her friend's statement, then felt it was the right time to ask what she was getting at. "I guess that is why I brought this up, Kikuyo...because, after Kuromorimine, you quit Sensha-do, telling me you wanted to live as a simple woman."
Kikuyo suddenly went quiet, then looked back to the open field, knowing what Shiho was after. "I did. After all my talk about always being with you back then, I left your side. How terrible of me, huh? How hypocritical."
"Kikuyo, was there some reason?" Shiho press.
For a moment, Kikuyo was quiet, as this question brought up something she had thought might be buried in her past, never to be brought up again, as she now looks to Shiho. "You never ask before, why now?"
"I figure you had your reasons, which is why I didn't try to force you to come with me. Then we kept somewhat in contact, but suddenly your mother made a frantic call to me, begging me to save you from your crippling depression. I didn't have the heart to bring it up even after you recovered," Shiho explains.
"But still, why now?" Kikuyo countered.
Shiho held the sheathed katana out sideways towards Kikuyo. "This blade asks that we honor our duty to our family name, to be its strength along with those who are with us. To that end, I fear I fail you in that regard."
"My lady, you have-," Kikuyo tried to argue.
"I did back then," Shiho interjected. "I told you that you are part of this family, Kikuyo, not just now, but back then. Where I was alone for all of my childhood, I found someone I could trust to confide in when I met you, and we became close as commander and gunner. Yet when our paths split, I carried on while you suffered with the terrible events in your life."
"Heh," Kikuyo chuckles a little. "It's funny when I thought the same of you. Yet the truth of why I left your side was the same reason those crews you had in middle school left you as well."
The revelation made Shiho go wide eye in shock. "You felt you couldn't keep up with me?"
"Yes," Kikuyo said with a nod, then looked up at the blue sky above. "You remember our last match, the final against St. Gloriana? Against your rival Chiyo Shimada?"
"I do," Shiho said.
It was the ultimate clash, the biggest spectacle of Sensha-do's long history, as this was the final clash in the high school circuit between Shiho and Chiyo. Both teams had dominated their brackets to the final, and every match they had won up to that point had not even been close. Each team was filled with college-level talent from top to bottom, meaning there was no easy road to victory; when the two teams met, it was going to be a grueling dogfight for the coveted Victory Flag and, more importantly, whether the Shimada style or the Nishizumi style would come out on top.
"It was a brutal yet magnificent match. Never did a more talented group of ladies share the field that day. We fought from the early morning to near nightfall," Shiho commented, remembering the match like it happened yesterday.
Kikuyo nodded, bringing her eyes down to the ground, as her memories weren't so happy or cherished when she thought of that day. "Yes, but that day, even with all my experience, had all but failed me then. I couldn't keep up with your orders. You were so sharp, focused, and utterly determined in every move you ask of us. I don't know to this day what was wrong with me, but I was too slow, nervous, and timid while commanding the gun."
"Yet, you were with me before when we won the previous two years," Shiho commented.
"I know," Kikuyo said sadly. "I thought I was at the height of my Sensha-do skills, but that year, I could see that you were still growing as a tanker; your skills were evolving faster than I could even imagine. That entire tournament made it more obvious that my skills were starting to fail me."
"That...that can't be true," Shiho argued.
"I think you didn't notice because everything seemed fine. Yet I could see I could barely react, and some hits were almost a complete miss or bounce. Still, because of the punching power of the eighty-eighty millimeter gun, it compensated for even my large or minor miscalculation," Kikuyo explains.
Still baffle, Shiho press on. "I can't believe this...you never once brought this to my attention."
Kikuyo lean back on her hand, looking at Shiho as she spoke. "Believe me, I wanted to. However, you were so engrossed in completing your three-peat, upholding your family name, and readying yourself for the college circuit, that I didn't want to add to your worries...or if I'm honest, I fear if my weakness were made known to you, it would make you question if I could be your gunner anymore."
"I would never!" Shiho instantly said, leaning forward, her face flush with conviction.
It surprised Kikuyo, but she chuckled, then spoke. "Maybe...though there was no way for sure to know. Back then, you truly believed in strength being your worth, and mine was waning. I fear being pushed away, so I remain quiet, hopeful I could finally get my act together."
Shiho remains quiet, wanting to hear this story to its bitter conclusion.
While Kikuyo stopped leaning on her hand, now brought it to her other, and began to fiddle with her fingers on her lap with a severe look, she spoke after a breath for courage. "Then came the final. Both teams savage each other. We fought for every inch of ground, every blade of grass, and every street in the city."
Memories flooded again into Shiho's mind, remembering the brilliant match. Her Tiger 1, along with her team's Panther D, and Panzer 3 and 4 tanks battle against St. Gloriana mass of Churchill, Crusader, Cromwell, and Matilda tanks.
Cannons roar nonstop and their guns became so hot that many girls began to worry they might melt from the high volume of fire. The match raged like an inferno as both Shiho and Chiyo used counterattacks, ambushes, in-depth defenses, and other tactics they could employ to gain the upper hand. A game of chess was being waged, with only a tiny misstep needed for one side to gain the edge, the initiative, and capture the Victory Flag to wave proudly on their carrier for all of Japan to see and know who were the queens of Sensha-do.
Then it came down to that moment.
A blood-red sun was setting on this match.
With both sides down to a pair of tanks on each side, Shiho's Tiger 1 and a Panther D were going up against Chiyo's Churchill and accompanying Churchill. All four tanks were to have their final duel within the ruins of a city.
The Panther D was squared off with a Churchill in another part of the city, while Shiho and Chiyo found themselves fighting in a war-torn city center filled with large piles of bricks, wood, glass, and fallen trees. They gave Chiyo an advantage to use the rubble as cover as she maneuvered her slow-going Churchill to escape the Tiger 1's mighty claws. Shiho situated herself at one end of the city center, in the open, but her Tiger angle and with a good field of fire.
Then Chiyo came forward, as Shiho ordered her Kikuyo to fire again and again, but Chiyo proved herself equal to the challenge. Using the rubble to absorb the 88mm shells while picking her moments to angle her own Churchill; that's heavy armor proved its worth like it had done in World War 2, bouncing the shells as the Churchill charged down the mighty tiger, wanting to take its own swipe with its claws.
With these memories playing like a movie in her head, Shiho spoke. "Chiyo proved to be cleverer than I gave her credit that day. She had never tried to attack me like that before, coming right at me. It was a bit disconcerting."
"Yes," Kikuyo replied. "Yet, every time I missed, my panic began to rise. That feeling of fear of being inadequate had come on full force. My eyes began to water with tears, my hands became so heavy on the handwheels, and my mind muddled. I hardly could hear your commands; it was just almost silence to me."
At that moment, that memory that had slipped Shiho's mind hit her in the face like a splash of cold water.
"I remember, your firing became less accurate. I must have thought it was solely based on Chiyo's maneuvers, but that wasn't the whole truth...no...I pushed you too hard. I didn't realize what you were going through," Shiho whispered out, her chest tightening as the revelation was beyond dreadful.
"Then it came down to that last desperate moment. Chiyo made use of her tank's smoke grenade discharge, plastering our front with white smoke, blinding us, then surprised as she fired through the smoke and hit one of our tracks," Kikuyo said sadly, as her face showed visible signs of distress with the continuation of the story.
"We were blind, and she was working around us to get at our engine," Shiho added.
"Yes, that was when my mistake almost cost us the win," Kikuyo spoke quietly, placing her hands in her lap and gripping the cloth of her kimono tightly. "At that point, my nerves were shot, I wanted to end the fight, and I didn't want to fail you. That's when I saw it...that seemingly small outline of a tank in the smoke...and then...I...I..."
"You fired at it without orders and turned out to be nothing. I remember it now. It surprised me that you would do such a thing," Shiho responded, rubbing her forehead in frustration at the memory that had slipped from her mind.
Kikuyo let out a sad huff. "Then the Churchill appeared out of the mist on our left flank, making me realize my error. I spun the turret as fast as possible, but I could do nothing to remedy my earlier mistake. I saw everything about to collapse, and all because of me."
"Yet that didn't happen...Chiyo had to work her way all around to our rear to get a decent shot, which proved her undoing, as the Panther D, under the command of Oishi Fuyu, had won her duel with the other Churchill. Then work their way to us in record time to hit the Chiyo's tank in the side and win us the match," Shiho said.
"Keeping your career wins perfect and defeating your rival. Even though I almost cost us the match, no one said anything, but I could feel their gazes on my back during the victory ceremony. The disappointment burning into me became too much, and that is where I decided to stop doing Sensha-do," Kikuyo finished, bringing her eyes up to Shiho.
"Oh Kami, I didn't even give it a second thought to how you were feeling. As long as victory was achieved, I was fine with the results while you were suffering alone," Shiho spoke quietly, bringing her hand up to her mouth, feeling sick to her stomach over something that she should have taken care of then.
"I wanted to bring it up to you, but I couldn't find it in my heart to do so. Finally, I realized that I had lost my edge, that I could no longer hold up to the standard of the Nishizumi style and would not disgrace its way again, or you for that matter," Kikuyo said, looking to the sky now, as she had finished her story.
Shiho sighed as now everything made sense to her. After that match, Kikuyo became withdrawn from her peppier self-back then. Shiho had meant to talk to her about it, but with so much needed to be done with her family, interviews, and college applications, it left little time for Shiho to seek out Kikuyo. It hit Shiho hard now, realizing that she had abandoned Kikuyo, to let these feelings of resignation and shame envelop her. While Shiho carried on like nothing was wrong, it was just business as usual.
It wasn't Miho and Maho I abandoned first. No, it was Kikuyo. I left her to suffer instead of being there for her like she has for me...another dark mark on my past...another failure...but one that shall not stand.
Shiho thought, then placed the sword gently on the wooden floor while she sat on her knees. Kikuyo now turned her eyes to her mistress, wondering what she was doing, but didn't have to wait long when Shiho suddenly bowed towards her. Shiho's head lowered till it almost touched the wooden floor itself, showing her earnestness with this apology to her friend.
"Kikuyo, please accept my deepest apology. Even if it can't make up for having abandoned you when you needed me most, when you needed a shoulder to lean on and someone to tell you it's alright," Shiho earnestly asked.
At first, Kikuyo was too shocked to speak before suddenly frantically waving her arms. "Please, my lady. It's alright, nothing more than the past."
Raising her head, Shiho locked her dark brown eyes and drank in the sight of her maid deeply. "No, the past is something I've ignored for too long, and it has come back to reap its vengeance on me. I've ignored it and paid the price...no longer will that be the case. That goes double for someone who I hold close to my heart."
Kikuyo felt her heart flutter at the words, to see how earnest the woman she had respected since she was a teenager. Had aspired to be like, steadfast, never wavering to the challenges presented, embodying everything Kikuyo wanted to be when she became an adult. Only did she scratch the surface of this Kikuyo felt, but in some ways, she thought she had gotten to some level of what she wanted over the years.
Now that every woman Kikuyo admired so much was again showing her that she was strong by a different means. That strength wasn't one of being simply steadfast and unwavering like before, but being able to admit that you had made a mistake. That you can be a better person and want to improve, not something easy for anyone sometimes to do, but even more so for the great Shiho Nishizumi. Kikuyo was once more grateful she had been saved by this woman when she was at her lowest.
To be here, even after so much time spent watching Shiho go from her happiest to her darkest, always holding on to the shred of who she once was. It only was perseverance needed to tough through the dark times to see Shiho return to the form that Kikuyo longed to see, long to be near again, and see Shiho enjoy life.
"My lady, I'm honored you feel about me in such a way...even knowing where I came from and what I am," Kikuyo said, now touching on another part of her life she never wanted to bring up but felt this might be the moment to do so for one last time.
Shiho nodded, speaking in a low tone. "You mean about your father."
"That man...is not my father. He is nothing more than the one who took advantage of my mom, who served as a maid to him, then when he found out he had gotten her pregnant since he slept with maids of his household, he shunned her before his family found out about the whole thing," Kikuyo said with quiet anger.
Shiho sighed, knowing this was a subject that Kikuyo never really talked about with anyone, except with her personally. The even more, darker path of Kikuyo's life that made her want to pursue Sensha-do, to become a stronger woman, become a mother that would bring her children up properly, and prove to be a better person than her father ever was.
"You remember that night...when you came to me...months had passed since I had learned I couldn't bear children...I was in my darkest hour...my marriage had fallen apart...leaving me as nothing but a broken woman," Kikuyo spoke in quiet distress, bringing her arms up to hug herself.
"I do," Shiho started, closing her eyes for a moment as she spoke, drawing back the images of that night when she learned of Kikuyo's torment. "You were so thin and pale. Your eyes were so devoid of life that I felt like I was looking at a stranger."
Digging her fingers into the fabric tighter, Kikuyo whispers while shaking. "I was on death's door, but you then show up...you of all people who had your career to think about. Coming to help someone who you didn't owe anything to. I felt ashamed that I had caused you so much trouble. All I wanted you to do was leav-."
Suddenly Kikuyo's dark words were stopped as Shiho shuffled over to wrap her arms around her friend. Pulling her close, letting Kikuyo's head rest against her chest. Shiho wanted to stop this talk, to not hear Kikuyo, who had been her shining light throughout most of her life, been her rock, now seem ready to crumble into dust completely. But, for now, it was Shiho's job as not a mistress but a friend and family member to help Kikuyo see that there was no need to look back on the past when the bright future was so bright.
Pulling back some, Shiho looked down to see Kikuyo's eyes brimming with tears, looking up at her. Quickly Shiho used the sleeve of her jacket to wipe them away gently.
"Kikuyo, I have a confession to make," Shiho started.
Which surprised Kikuyo, but she remained silent.
"I knew about your father's shunning of your mother after getting her pregnant back in our Kuromorimine days in our first year," Shiho confesses.
"You...you..knew...before you asked me to be part of your crew? Before that night, you rescued me, and I told you everything about that," Kikuyo asked, astonished.
Shiho nodded. "I truly wanted to know about my crew members since I wanted to keep them close compare to my revolving door during middle school. Meaning I gather documents on your past lives, your mother did her best to try and hide it, but I dug deeper and found out who your birth father was. Found out that he had gotten your mother pregnant and shun her."
The revelation shocked Kikuyo to her core. "If that is true, why would you accept someone like me? An illegitimate child who only got into Kuromorimine due to my grades."
"It's simple," Shiho said soothingly, looking deep into Kikuyo's eyes as she spoke. "Because you show me that your background didn't stop you from wanting to achieve your goals. Your strength...even knowing you were an unwanted child...I could only be amazed by the fire burning in your soul that I was drawn to."
"Shiho," Kikuyo whisper out.
"I think a quote from our old instructor sums your drive up best," Shiho said.
Kikuyo tilted her head. "Mister Hidemichi?"
A nod followed the question from Shiho as she spoke. "It's a quote from a show he loves...there is no sin being born in the dirt, but is a terrible sin to want to stay there."
For a moment, Kikuyo remains quiet as she absorbs the words.
"You didn't stay in the dirt. You work hard in school and in Sensha-do. You fought your way to attend Kuromorimine from a no-name school and proved yourself to want it more than any other girl to be there. That kind of strength is what the Nishizumi style asks for, and you exceeded its wants tenfold," Shiho praised while pushing some loose strands of hair from Kikuyo's face.
"My lady...no, Shiho," Kikuyo said, as her arms gripped the sides of the Shiho's jacket. "I... can't thank you enough...not just for the words, but for everything. You drag me from my downward spiral. You allow me to help you raise Miho and Maho like my own, and finically help my mother never to have to work a day in her life again after being tossed aside by that man who took advantage of her."
"It's what frie-," Shiho began to say, but stop herself as she found a better word. "No, it is what family does for one another. You, Kikuyo Idegami, may not share my last name or the same blood as us. Yet none of that matters because your deeds to me, the strength you lent to my daughters and me during our darkest time, and your love made you part of our family."
Kikuyo nodded as Shiho drew close, touching her forehead to hers.
Then Shiho spoke again. "For you are a Nishizumi, Kikuyo, you always were and will be till the very end."
"I will. You have my loyalty through any trial we face till we are all home again, my lady," Kikuyo affirmed, smiling with tears rolling down her face, but this time they were happy ones, for even after decades of service to Shiho as a crew member, friend, maid, and family member this moment confirm something that had long been left unsaid between the two.
Kikuyo was truly a Nishizumi.
That this was her home and this was her family.
Pulling back now, Shiho cleared her throat. "I believe that got a little more emotional than we thought...however, I feel I'm closer to you than ever before."
Kikuyo nodded as she wiped her tears away with her kimono sleeve. "It's nice that even after all our time together, we're still growing closer, learning, and becoming better women."
"Yes," Shiho replied, looking at the sunny blue sky. "I believe it is time for us to return. We can't be gone from the estate for too much longer."
"Certainly," Kikuyo said, rising to her feet and dusting her kimono off.
Shiho rose as well, grabbing the sheathed katana, then turned to Kikuyo. "I have a task for you."
"My lady," Kikuyo reply quickly.
Holding the katana out to her maid, Shiho spoke. "As I've said before, this sword should be held by the future ruler of our family."
"Isn't it too soon? Maybe you should talk with Miho beforehand about it; she will be confused by just handing it to her," Kikuyo commented.
Shiho looks back to the inside of the hut, then back to her maid. "No, Miho came out here because she was drawn to this sword somehow. Like it was calling to her...I know it sounds fable, but this is what I truly believe. This sword belongs in her hands and I mean to see it happen sooner rather than later."
"How?" Kikuyo ask.
"You will take a leave of absence for family reasons. The Federation Investigators have made no mention of restricting you. They might be suspicious of you leaving due to our long history, but they don't have any right to hold you," Shiho explains.
"Meaning I can go see, Lady Miho, "Kikuyo spoke as she nodded with understanding.
"Exactly, but the Akagi will likely be out to sea again before you can reach her. That means you will need to find a way to board, which I cannot help you with," Shiho said, knowing this would be asking a lot of Kikuyo to find her own way.
Kikuyo sighed for a moment, then spoke. "I believe I have a way in."
"Oh?"
"That pilot, Suzume Aozora, she...she...she gave me her number before she left," Kikuyo said with a slight blush forming on her face.
"A bold one she is," Shiho said with a hint of resentment.
"Very true. I believe she has a preference for older women, but that is not what is important. I believe I can contact her to bring me aboard via plane," Kikuyo explains.
"I believe you are right. She has already demonstrated an ability to break the rules. So why not make use of it," Shiho said with approval in her voice. "Quite the schemer you are, my dear friend."
"Ah," Kikuyo reply with embarrassment. "Just thinking outside the box is all, something, Lady Miho is quite proficient in."
"Yes...yes she is, and with this," Shiho said, holding the sheathed katana high in the air with one arm. "This will help her reach her goals for not just herself, but our family."
"Then let us get underway, shall we, my lady?" Kikuyo ask.
Shiho brought her eyes down to her, with a lovely smile crossing her face. "We shall."
Both women walk down to the warm grass, heading for home. Without a word to one another, they reached out to clasp their hands together, for their bond had been tied closer than ever before. They were no longer just master and servant, merely friends, but now were truly family. For they were Nishizumi's in deeds and character, looking to uphold all that they wanted for their family's Sensha-do style.
This new era of the Nishizumi way was dawning over the land, and the roars of their Tigresses would be known to everyone.
"Ribbit."
The large tan frog let out its croak from a nearby bush as it closely watches the pair of women melt away into the forest. It had done its job, pushing the pieces into place for the Nishizumi family to put together. Looking after them as it had done for centuries, searching for the era that would need true strength of the Nishizumi way to survive its most dire trials.
It was the same as it had done in another life, when they were a mighty samurai, fighting with the greatest warrior of the Nishizumi family.
A sudden gush of wind blew over the land, swaying the trees, but this gust of wind carried a voice with it.
The voice of someone they once loved very dearly in this past life and still did.
Okabe...its time... We've done all we can for them...it is time...my love...its time...come back to me...my love...our time to go draws near...
"Ribbit."
The frog gave one last croak, then hopped back into these very woods that he knew quite well, for it had been the place where he had learned to hold a sword, learn to fight, and the place they met Nakano Nishizumi that would change his life for the better.
Now it was time for rest, for the long sleep, for he had done all that he had been asked to do.
For he was nothing more than a vessel meant to guide.
He did not know all that was to happen.
Destiny sometimes was fickle.
It should be grasped by one's own hand, as he had seen once before by his leader and lover.
Now it was all in the hands of these Nishizumi women, to seize their own happiness, their own Nishizumi style.
As this old warrior melted into the woods, never to be seen again, his spirit would still live on.
His only hope was that he had done enough for his family to see them through.
Because there was no guarantee that they succeed in the end.
He wasn't a god, and he was not all-knowing.
He was just a simple servant to this family he held so close to his heart.
But this coming fight, his family wouldn't be divided like before. They had each other, he knew.
For they were truly Nishizumi now.
They were going to be Tigers of the battlefield once more, honoring their founding father Tora Nishizumi.
Have the same fighting spirit as the Tigress Nakano Nishizumi, who led their clan through the bloodied days of Japan.
And most importantly, they would achieve their own happiness, as they left their past behind for good for the future that they would seize for themselves.
For a Nishizumi always advances, but this time, they wouldn't do it alone.
I wish nothing but good fortune Nishizumi warriors...I have high hopes for you to be the Tigresses I know you are...that you were always meant to be...
Okabe thought, as his existence disappeared from this world for good, as his time was over now.
The time for a ReRise was on a the horizon.