Severus' Daughter: Year One
Chapter 12: Memories Uncovered
Severus stood outside the door to his home for what felt like forever. His mind was whirling with the recovered memories. His stomach twisted as many of them flashed before his eyes, again. His heart hurt. It twisted in ways it never had before. Not even when Lily died. Not when he remembered his daughter. Not when he found her abused body in her aunt and uncle's home.
His knees buckled and he collapsed against the door, finally noticing the tears streaming down his face. The door opened to a worried looking Minerva who soon dropped to her knees in front of him, placing her hand gently against his cheek even as her eyes roamed his body.
"Severus, are you hurt?" she asked, worried, she had not seen Severus like this in a long time.
"I…" he didn't know what to say.
"Mummy, what's wrong?" Severus looked up to find his daughter, his heart clenched in pain, looking at him with scared eyes. She hadn't seen Severus like this before and he didn't want her to see him like this.
Thankfully Sirius entered the hall, looked at him and gently stared pulling Rosalie away and back up the stairs.
"No, I need to know if he is okay!" She shouted at Sirius, struggling in his arms.
"Clearly he isn't doing well at the moment, and it will make Severus feel worse if his daughter is around to witness whatever is happening," Sirius said sternly, not letting his goddaughter out of his arms, no matter how hard she fought.
"Why? I can help him feel better. I need to know what is going on," she moaned, almost elbowing Sirius in the side, but he dodged, still never letting her out of his arms.
"I know you are worried, we all are. But Severus is an incredibly private person when it comes to his feelings. And, if it is important for you to know what is going on then he will tell you, when he is able to. At this time however, you need to leave him be as Minerva and Remus are the only ones able to get through to him at times like these. You won't be doing him or yourself any good by pushing him," Sirius explained as calmly, yet sternly as possible as he watched Remus rush over to Severus and Minerva, still dragging Rosalie up the stairs gently.
"I want to help him. I need to know he is okay," she cried, tears of frustration pouring out of her eyes.
"I know, sweetie. And he will be with you when he is feeling better. Just let him have his time to come to terms with whatever is going on and you can talk to him. But do try not to pressure him into talking, it might not be something you need to know, or that he wants you to know,"
"Why wouldn't he want me to know?"
Sirius finally had her up the stairs and he led her to her bedroom, where he shut and locked the door behind him, placing up silencing charms so they couldn't hear anything that was happening, not wanting whatever could come out of Severus' mouth to upset Rosalie, he could get loud when upset.
Sirius sighed, "There are some things that adults go through that children shouldn't know about, especially not children as young as you. You will find out about these things as you get older, hopefully not by experiencing things yourself. But if and when Severus is ready to tell you, he will,"
"It's not fair. I'm never told anything by anyone. Why doesn't anyone trust me?"
"It isn't about trusting you, sweetie," Sirius sat next to her on the bed, wrapping his arm around her shoulder, "There are just some things that you don't need to know, that you shouldn't know. You will understand, one day, when you have children. Which obviously won't be until you are about fifty, that is old enough for you to marry and have kids,"
Rosalie grinned, "I think that is a bit unfair considering you, Remus, and mum, are much younger than fifty and either have a kid or are trying for a kid," she gave Sirius a knowing look and grinned more when he blushed.
"Yes, well," Sirius groaned at the delight in his goddaughters' eyes, "that is also something you will understand when you have children, or godchildren,"
…
"Severus, what is going on?" Minerva asked, her worry clear in her voice.
"Albus has been obliviating me since I was twelve," he muttered, practically melting in Minerva's, needing something to ground him.
He heard gasps, "What? Why?"
"Well, if you don't know then you have been obliviated also," Severus said.
"Did the goblins give you your memories back?" Remus asked gently.
"Yes," he whispered, "Right after telling me that I am in fact Lord Prince and that I signed my vaults and seats over to Albus to manage, along with Rosalie's vaults and seats. I have control of everything now, signed some documents,"
"That man, when will he stop," Minerva growled, "What else did you remember?"
"Too much," he sobbed, he couldn't help it really, "He did give us back our memories when Lily died,"
They gasped, "What?"
"He gave us our memories back, but had already taken Rosalie to the Dursleys. When I demanded to know where they were so I could have my daughter back he told us that she had to stay there for the blood wards, to protect her. Then we said that the wards on this house would protect her a lot more than some blood wards could. So he told us that he needed her to not have a good childhood because then she wouldn't walk to her d-death when the time was right. Because she is a H-Horcrux, s-she needs to d-die so the Dark Lord can die. We obviously refused so he removed our memories again," his baby had to die.
HIS BABY HAD TO DIE.
He didn't have it in him to shout, to scream, no matter how much he wanted to.
His baby had to die.
At the right time.
Albus was raising her like a pig for slaughter.
He just got her back, only to lose her at the proper moment.
THE PROPER BLOODY MOMENT.
The proper moment wouldn't be until she was old and grey and had lived a good bloody life.
His heart hurt.
He barely felt Minerva and Remus pulling him up and dragging him gently to the floo. He didn't feel the travel to Albus' office or his stumble out of the fireplace.
He looked at Albus, who stared at them in shock, and his heart just felt pain. His mind was clouded and yet swirling with everything he could now remember.
The most prominent being that his daughter had to die to end this bloody war.
His baby had to die.
She had to die.
Rosie had to die.
Out of the corner of his eyes he could see the rage on Minerva's and Remus' faces. He wasn't terribly shocked when he saw Minerva slap Albus.
He hurt too much to care.
His baby had to die.
"Minerva, what the bloody hell was that for?" Albus practically yelled at her.
"Can't you see what you have done to our son, you stupid, horrible, manipulative, coot? Why? Why do ya keep hurting him?" she yelled back, her Scottish accent seeping through more prominently the more angry she got.
Albus stared at him and he stared back. He hurt too much to talk, no matter how much he wanted to yell and scream at the man.
"What are you talking about, Minerva?"
"The bloody obliviates that you have been casting on him since he was twelve years old. Most particularly the one where you removed our memories of Lily and Rosalie, again, when we didn't want anything to do with your bloody plans for killing her when the time was right. You want our granddaughter to die,"
"I don't want her to die. She needs to die," Albus said, a hint of genuine sadness in his eyes.
"Does she? Surely there is some other way to remove the Horcrux?" Remus said, his eyes glowing amber.
"Not as far as I am aware. The container of the Horcrux has to be destroyed beyond repair. Death is the only way to do that for a living Horcrux. I am sorry. I really don't want her to die,"
"Then find another way," Remus growled.
"I have been trying to find another way this whole bloody time," Albus shouted.
"How so?"
"I have been trying to find books about Horcruxes. However, there aren't many around as most have been destroyed,"
"Then you haven't been trying hard enough,"
"Have you considered asking the creatures whether their own magic is able to help?" Minerva said with a dangerous purr.
"What are you talking about?" Albus looked confused.
"Well, goblins and house elves, for example, have vastly different magic to us. They have their own spells and potions as well as ours. Maybe they have something that can remove the Horcrux without killing our granddaughter. Or another creature,"
"The thought hadn't crossed my mind," Albus whispered.
"Then you haven't really been trying, have you? Because if you were truly trying to save our family you would have looked everywhere for a solution. I mean, you tell everyone that you care for creatures and they should have more rights, and yet, you yourself overlook them,"
"I'm sorry," Albus said.
"Sorry isn't good enough when you placed our granddaughter in an abusive home so that she would walk to her own bloody death. Sorry isn't good enough when you haven't been putting in the effort to try and save her from that fate. She is a child. Our granddaughter. Our son's baby. And you just want her to die. And you have been using her and our son's inheritances without permission also. Why? Why would you do any of this to our family?"
Albus stared at Severus again but he was still too numb and hurt to say anything. He would come back another day for a chat. When he had time to sort through his new memories.
"I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't know of any other way…"
Sorry wasn't good enough.
His baby had to die.
His baby was raised like a pig for slaughter.
His baby was kept from him so she would walk to her death.
And more.
So much more that was swirling around his mind still.
Everything hurt.
The more Albus stared at him the more he struggled to breathe.
He could faintly hear Minerva and Remus speaking to him, telling him to breathe. Telling him they would figure something out. Telling him they would ask the creatures if they knew of anything. Telling him that if she had to die they would just leave. That she wouldn't die. We would protect her.
But he couldn't.
He couldn't breathe.
His mind whirled.
His heart hurt.
His baby had to die.
He was going to lose his baby.
He had just got her back and she had to die.
When the time was right.
He had lost Lily, and now he had to lose her.
It just hurt.
His breathing hitched again.
His vision started to fade.
He vaguely felt his knees give out on him and a strong set of arms caught him, lowering him gently to the ground.
He heard people calling his name.
His baby had to die.
His baby had to die.
His baby had to die.
Regulus.
Everything was gone.
Hiya, I hope you are all well!
I am back! I hope you enjoyed the chapter, I hope to update again in the next week or two. I am also working on updating my other fanfics, and have posted some new ones if you would like to go and check them out. I am aiming to update my stories 2-4 times a week depending on how busy I am.
I now have a Facebook Group where we can chat about Harry Potter, fanfictions, share memes, talk about life and more. It is also where I will be sharing updates on what I am working on, when I am posting and such. And when I have sorted some bits out I will also be having an update schedule of sorts on there. If you are interested in joining it is called Maraudering_Paige and I will happily accept any of you into the group.
I hope you are all having a lovely day!