Saven 2 998 (May 12)

The first morning had barely dawned when Lan pulled the curtains away from my bed, revealing the light from the lantern he held. I felt well-rested, having another night of musical dreaming I could not quite remember in full, but I did remember the feeling of singing along loudly amongst others and a couple lyrics. Oh its tough when loves a weed, that grows inside of me. I muttered lyrics,—"Waste the days, waste the nights"—trying to remember them all, —"Try to downplay being uptight"— as I put on my linen clothing, finding them a bit light and breezy for the cold of a Shienaran spring morning. "A kiss is all we need."

Shivering as I followed Lan through nearly empty halls, an occasional yawning servant hurrying quietly towards their destination. We found ours soon enough, an arcade leading to an open training yard with cold dead torches in the corners, a weapons stand and two Trolloc-sized training dummies. The sun had yet to peek over the fortress walls, so it was still quite dark. Lan was quick to light the torches before turning to me and finally speaking.

"We both know why you're here. You need to get better. I can help you get better. I cannot help you if I do not know your limits. So run. And keep running until you cannot take another step. This afternoon we will see how lax you've gotten with the blade." It was the most Lan had ever said and it wasn't even said that gruffly. I nodded, smiling at the fact that Lan still seemed to be perfectly fine with me. I ran for hours, sweating in the chilly morning, sweating as the sun rose. For nearly three hours I put foot in front of foot, running until I could not run anymore. When I collapsed onto the sand, I heard cheers, male and female both. I lay there, breathing heavily, rolling over to see Egwene standing with a reluctant Perrin and several Shienaran soldiers who were laughing and cheering for the "Southern Lord who never stops running". Perrin looked sheepishly at me. I looked away.

Lan's feet crunched on sand until they came close to my head, and I glanced at him. The sun blinded me but for a second I thought I saw the white of his teeth in a smile. "Not bad, sheepherder, not bad at all. Take a bucket from the well, and wash yourself off. After lunch, meet me back here. We'll work sword forms." And then he was off, swiftly moving through the crowd. Egwene came close, Perrin trailing behind.

She smiled at me, bright white teeth and a certain type of glee in her eyes. "I met Perrin at breakfast and I just had to speak with him about certain facts and whether to tell them to others. Perrin decided he has something to say to you."

I sat up finally, before slowly bringing myself to stand. Perrin stood in new clothes as well, that fit a little tightly on his shoulders, a green and white tunic with nut-brown trousers that set off his tanned skin and curly brown hair. He looked at me seriously. "I won't tell anyone what I figured out, Rand. I promise. I don't know how to feel yet, but I know a lot of what you're doing is what the Aes Sedai is telling you. That you, Rand al'Thor, the stubborn mule who digs in his heels, is willing to go along with her, that means it's true, isn't it?"

"I'd rather live than die a stubborn mule. Yes, it's true. I learned that day at the Eye of the World." I paused, my stomach rumbling. "Do you think we could find something to eat? I have yet to have breakfast and I'd love to beg for an apple jam tart from the kitchens. And let's stick to safe topics until we can meet in Moiraine Sedai's room."

I washed myself off, sunning myself for a few minutes and feeling the sun's warmth on my skin, as Egwene encouraged Perrin to tell stories about our young teenage antics. It felt faintly nostalgic, and I could almost remember the moments that Perrin told me of, but the feeling always faded when I tried to focus it. Before we left the kitchens, after grabbing ourselves each a tart, the kitchen maid smiling coyly and asked me a question about Moiraine.

"Have you seen her today, the Aes Sedai?"

I answered casually, without much thought, exhausted still. "No, I saw Moiraine Sedai last night. I woke up early today for training."

My answer apparently scandalized the workers' eavesdropping, and I heard one worker push another saying, "I knew Mikeyo wasn't lying." I would feel bad about it, but Moiraine wanted this. Such a strange woman, wanting to be seen like that with me specifically because I'm the Dragon Reborn. Perrin looked at me oddly as we left, though.

"What was that all about?" came Egwene's 'I am five seconds away from boxing your ears' voice.

"Oh, uh." I glanced at Egwene and swallowed the lump in my throat. "Moiraine wants us to be seen as romantic partners. It's her idea, not mine."

Perrin made a choking sound, and looked startled. Egwene's hand squeezed mine quite tightly. "I knew she had some plot for you!"

"I know. It's rather absurd, and apparently is a whole, 'Aes Sedai doing something for half-a-dozen reasons' thing. She did not give me a chance to refute it, basically straight up telling the servant assigned to me to go away while we were… busy. Her reasons were pretty good though, for doing it. I just wish she had asked first." I explained.

"That conniving tricky witch…. No no, I should not call her that." Egwene sighed. "I did not think I would have to fight for your attention so quickly with her. But I guess it makes sense she'd want you wrapped around her little finger. What reasons did she give?"

I told them about the previous evening while we were on our way to the Women's Quarters, Egwene leading us, when we ran into the witch herself.

"Oh good, you're all here. There is something we must discuss. My rooms, please." She turned on her foot with the grace of a dancer, heading straight back for the Women's Quarters.

"She knew I was coming," I whispered to Perrin, who mouthed a 'How'. "Bond. You know, the thing you overheard and saw the other night."

He looked away with red cheeks under his shaggy hair, and we moved quietly through the halls in the late morning, Moiraine taking the time to greet the noblewoman in charge of the door by name. Once we were in her room, I felt the chill of saidar and assumed she was putting up the ward against listening.

"So, what exactly have you been discussing to make Rand's emotions twist and turn?"

Perrin looked at me for some kind of confirmation or support. "Perrin knows who I am and he promised not to tell anyone else that I'm the Dragon Reborn. And I was tired and gave an answer to a question from a maid I shouldn't have. So now they both have questions about our fake romance.

Moiraine stared at me, a blank look on her face. Egwene opened her mouth to speak. Moiraine interrupted, still looking at me. "And you did not give the answer you found?"

"We were found by you before I could."

"Mmm. Well, sit, all of you. Let us have this discussion then move on with our busy day." She chose a large plush blue chair, settling primly upon it, the soft clink of jewelry loud in our silence. I took the simple wood chair next to Egwene in a chair with fancy upholstery and fluffy pillows. Perrin sat on another other simple chair, viewing the dainty upholstered chairs with some reticence.

"First things first: if you ever speak of Rand being the Dragon Reborn to any one before he announces himself, including Matrim Cauthon, not even your friendship will save you from my wrath. Lan does not follow the Three Oaths." She says it so casually, like she's speaking of chopping firewood or watering plants. A chill went down my spine. This is who I bonded…

Perrin gulps, before nodding profusely. "Yes, Moiraine Sedai. I won't speak it or even think about it, I swear on the Light."

Moiraine gave him the barest hint of acknowledgement before moving on, turning to Egwene. "There are multiple reasons why I am trying to portray an not-very-secret relationship with Rand. One reason is that it will add to the legend of him, the best thing that spreads like a plague is romance gossip. Rand al'Thor, shepherd turned Dragon Reborn is much less interesting than Rand al'Thor, seducer of Aes Sedai, mysterious Southern Andoran Lord, and Shapeshifter turned Dragon Reborn. Another reason is it distracts anyone who's spying on us from what I am actually teaching him, protecting us." She then looked expectantly at me.

I assumed she meant the reason I figured out. "And because she is just about the only Aes Sedai who wouldn't gentle me on sight, she's worried about her sisters trying to find out what makes me interesting, or figuring out what I am, so instead she's making me into a fling with a young man. Something scandalous but not treasonous."

We sat there in silence, Perrin looking distinctly ill. I guess being romantically involved with an Aes Sedai doesn't sit well with him. Egwene, however, looked quite angry.

"That's all. That's the whole of your explanations? This is your vaunted 'Aes Sedai cunning'?" She bit out.

"A second woman would only add to Rand's legend, and destiny has seen fit to make him a lothario, child. I would be willing to concede some evenings for you." Egwene was wary, like she expected some sort of trick. "I had intended to speak with you about this topic tonight or tomorrow, but how about we let the men go. Lunch will be soon enough and Rand will be busy right after. We can have our lunch brought up to us and discuss the situation like women."

Perrin and I were summarily dismissed. We quickly left, making our way out of the Women's Quarters. My sword was returned to me, Perrin his axe and I had an idea.

"Lan's teaching me swordplay after lunch. Want to join? I bet he's willing to teach you or find a Shienaran soldier who can, easy. I've seen plenty of axes." I did not wish to think of what the women may be discussing. Especially concerning me.

We walked in silence as Perrin thought for a minute. "You're really okay with her making people think you are some kind of… male looseskirt?"

I gave a sharp laugh. "It's so untrue it is not even funny, but what choice do I have? She already started me down the path."

"Could run," muttered Perrin.

I stared at him incredulous. "For-sak-en," I sounded out to him like he was a particularly dimwitted child.

"You killed one," he said indignantly. "You're… who you are, you're supposed to kill them."

I ignored that, shivering at the thought of fighting another Forsaken. What do I risk losing this time? I don't even know how I killed Aginor, if the me I am now could still do the same thing. We walked in a colder silence.

The dining hall of the Fortress was divided by an upper and lower set of tables, the upper level half a span above the lower. Servants bustled delivering plates of food, the sharp smell of spice in the air. Lunch was just getting started, but people stared at me, or at least I think they did. We sat down in front of the lower tables Shienarans used that lacked chairs.

Rice with fragrant spices sat mounded in between Perrin and I, alongside platters of peppered chicken and tangy pork. The farm animals given by refugees to the soldiers made good victory eating, and we ate good amounts of food. Nynaeve loomed over me as I reached for my third helping of the pork, hand snapping around my wrist.

"I watched you eat enough food to feed three men, Rand al'Thor. Where is Egwene?"

"Could you please let go of my hand? I will tell you right after." She tried to stare me down but I was done with her trying to throw her status as Village Wisdom around. I didn't even remember her much, so she simply looked like a beautiful and angry woman, rather than a person of authority. The battle raged for half a minute before she let go, crossing her arms and tugging on her braid, giving me a death glare.

"You've changed, Rand al'Thor, and not in a good way. Not even a month ago I would have had you sputtering and racing to get the words out."

"You think?" I scoffed. "You know what happened to me. Now, Egwenes is in Moiraine's room. They are discussing me, if you wish to j-". She had started off, leaving me in the lurch. "Bitch." I could not help muttering.

Perrin looked at me oddly. "What does that word mean? Is it Old Tongue, like that other word?"

"I-" Stopping, I thought. "It means bitch? I don't actually know. I just know it's an insult." I stared at my food, suddenly not hungry anymore. I cannot be going mad, not yet. "I should get going, Perrin, I think Lan would like me being early. Feel free to join me if you like." I stood up to leave.

Perrin looked over my shoulders and his eyes widened. I turned around "Going so soon Lord Rand?" Mat said sniggering, "Got sword lessons, Lord Rand, do ya? Sword lessons with a Warder, gotta make sure that Aes Sedai leash fits nice and tight, Lord Rand. No time for friends, huh?" He was loud at the end, red in the face and breathing heavily, obviously upset.

The whole room looked at us. How bloody embarrassing, I thought mournfully, now there's bound to be even more gossip about me. I did not look at Mat, I said nothing despite my frustration and anger, simply walking past him and out of the Hall, murmurs turning into conversation as I left. Mat seemed to have picked up Thom's virulent hatred of Aes Sedai. He will hate me too, when he learns what I am, truly.

Lan stood outside the doors leaning on a wall in his graceful slouch, silently joining me in walking to our training yard. After we got far enough away he spoke, not looking at me. "You chose the best way of dealing with him. He was searching for a screaming match, and you simply listened and then left."

I spoke in a whisper, revealing to Lan the dark thought that has haunted me for four days. Lan felt safe, somehow. An older man, sterner than my father but seemed to care in his own way. At least he's willing to teach a farmer how to swing a sword. "Mat wants the old Rand, but he's dead." I trembled a little, hands shaky. "I'm what's left, the dregs of a stubborn fool and whatever poor soul was chosen to suffer along with me."

"You're Rand al'Thor and you are not dead until the final blow," came the immediate reply, almost thunderous in the arcade that led to the empty training yard. "You're Rand al'Thor, and people change. Each event, each moment, each day people change. You simply changed a little more than usual. You've simply had to change a little faster. Do not falter so soon. I would hate to be right about you."

I thought about what he said as Lan directed me through the basic sword exercises he taught me on the road. People do change, the person someone was a year ago may not be much different, but five, or ten? It made sense. I still felt, in the pit of my stomach, that I was the dregs though. The dross. I shook my head, having distracted myself.

"Oh, no more? We can spar then."

I protested but Lan had me set my fathers sword aside and tossed me a bundle of lathes in the shape of a sword. "If you get one hit on me, I will let you go early. Otherwise, you're here for three hours." It was a long three hours.

Saven 4, 998 NE (May 14)

I went to bed early the night before, sore and covered in bruises and lash marks, head pounding from a tension headache. When I woke up feeling refreshed and energized minutes before Lan would wake me I felt two strange knots, one warm like a spring's day and one like a cold brisk wind, pulsing in the back of my mind with a sense of sleep and comfort. I found I could also sense two people toward the Women's Quarters like two lodestones pulling on a piece of iron and I immediately knew what this was. "The bond goes both ways," I said wonderingly. The warm one has to be Egwene, and the chill is definitely Moiraine.

As I got put on my clothing for training, Lan entered without a knock or word. I flinched but kept dressing. I knew any complaint would fall on deaf ears, so I told him the good news.

He looked at me, eyes like flint and face flat. "Where is Moiraine?"

I pointed behind me and to the right, towards the far corner of the Women's Quarters, where the Aes Sedai apartments lay. He nodded. "What does she feel like, in your bond?" He asked.

"Like a brisk wind slightly too cold, sleeping and feeling comfortable."

"Hmm," was all he said.

The morning that followed was one of running with a sword sheathed, holding a bare sword straight out for minutes at a time at different angles, jumping with a sword sheathed. It was all sword based and by the time I finished my arms could barely move from how many times I had to redo how I held the sword. Lan told me I needed to become used to holding it steady in all kinds of situations. He claimed to have done the same exercises as a child. I found the ko'di to be a boon. Pain and discomfort was a distant concern, so I could focus on the task at hand.

After an hour's rest and lunch, I was back, this time for actual sword practice. Repetitive sword moves with my father's sword, and then losing a dozen different ways in spars with bound lathes, Lan comparing my loss to actual deaths he had seen in combat. It freaked me out the first time he did it, and it was still unnerving. I ended the session with only nine welts rather than the eleven and ten of my previous days. When we finished Lan simply nodded and left swiftly. It was near dinner time, Lan having worked me for three and a half hours, so I washed off what sweat I could with well water, and returned to my room.

Like clockwork Mikeyo appeared with dinner, simpler fare tonight. Roast chicken, a loaf of bread, and salted butter. I eagerly devoured it to experience the joys of buttered bread and warm chicken, washed down with a crisp Borderland beer called pilsi.

Both Moiraine and Egwene had been busy throughout the day, moving together this way and that through the militant maze that was the Fortress. I had not realized Moiraine had felt much more than icy calm. What I learned is that the calm seemed to subsume them. There were bright flashes of anger, happiness, joy, relief, frustration, fear, sadness and even boredom, all drowned by calm or placidness.

Right on cue, just as I finished eating, they turned the corner onto my hallway and stopped before the door. Moiraine still felt icy calm, her bond cold, while Egwene knot was warm and inviting as a sunny spring day, but practically shouted nervousness. Mikeyo was tending to my plates, so I answered the door.

I greeted them, but Moiraine glided silently into the room and Egwene tried to mimic her, looking a bit silly if I was to be honest. I would never tell her though. When Mikeyo closed the door behind him I felt chills and-

-I was drowning in a raging river of power that burned me and froze me, a molten river of fire with icebergs of absolute zero, the sickly rancid oil lying on the surface turning my stomach. I fought my way up and through, ripping and clawing the endless power into submission until it calmed, under my will and-

-opened my eyes to sense relief and worry and fear lighting up the bonds like fireworks. Inside me there flowed a torrent of Power, of saidin. I could feel everything in the room with me, I could feel the weave of my bedspread, the tiny cracks in the wall, the light of the lamps like warm soft rain. I could feel the two women who stood close to me, I could see this golden-white glow around Moiraine that made her beauty seem sacred. She was like an angel, I thought.

There were beautiful things inside my mind's eye as well, strange colorful symbols and bizarre knots, floating in three groups and each more complex than the previous. The two more complex ones all seemed to be missing something, but the simplest were easy to understand. So I tried to make one, one that made some kind of light, I thought.

When I reached for the flows of the One Power running through me, however, I hit a glass wall. I frowned. I couldn't use the saidin. I could see it, feel it, revel in how much more the world is with it flowing through me, but I could not use it. And yet the Taint lingered, turning my stomach.

The trumpet call of frustration from Egwene and its brief twin in Moiraine, undercut with a deep bass of worry, summoned me from my thoughts. I looked away from Moiraine, blushing at having stared at her like a slack-jaw fool for who knows how long.

"Rand, are you listening now?" She asked carefully.

Egwene muttered, "Wool-headed fool."

"Yes, yes. It is just… I'm sorry… saidin is distracting."

"I know, Rand, I know. I am letting the circle break. I need you to let go of saidin, okay?" Her voice was slow and calm and it seemed silly to me for her to be so worried. How could something that felt so good be bad? At that thought the rancid foulness that coated saidin made itself known, twisting my insides with nausea. Oh, I thought.

"Rand, let go now."

It was like life had faded, as if light, color and feeling had been stripped from it, leaving only a pale imitation.

"Does it always feel like that?" I asked Moiraine, mournful at the loss, then confused I began to question. "What happened to me? All of a sudden I could do nothing by try to seize saidin, trapped in the One Power. And then when I did, I could not even touch it and there was this beautiful glow about you, Moiraine Sedai. And these strange thoughts, patterns of colors that made light or swords or beams of fire."

Moiraine stared at me, placid calm in her face and voice obvious, the bubbling curiosity I only knew because of the bond. "I believe that somehow, when I embraced saidar you were dragged along to seize saidin, and we formed a Circle. I must admit I do not know how."

"Could it be the bond?" asked Egwene, still worried, looking at me for something. I smiled reassuringly.

Before Moiraine could reply I spoke up. "I woke up with two bonds in my mind, and your heraldry are both fully painted."

Her calm face melted, replaced by the curiosity felt in the bond. "Three days for a bond to solidify is unheard of, but maybe bonding a male channeler is different. Such things have never been studied, even if the early years of the White Tower. What does it feel like exactly?"

I almost mentioned I told Lan of it. I wondered why he had not told her? "Like two little knots in the back of my mind, pulsing with emotion that sometimes is music or a sensation or just a feeling. Egwene feels like a warm spring day, and you feel like a… brisk wind. I can tell where both of you are, like a lodestone pulling on an iron filing, and that both of you are healthy, no injuries or sickness."

"Active channelers do not get sick," Moiraine corrected, while giving me a considerate look, hope a rising flute, and worry a deep bass rumbling. "I believe… I believe this is another one of your somewhat poisoned gifts, Rand. A circle is when two or more channelers join together to Weave great works of Power. An involuntary circle is completely unheard of, in the three thousand years since the Breaking. It will be a valuable tool in training you to quickly seize the One Power, and for me to demonstrate techniques and Weaves of saidar, for you to replicate."

Egwene felt of hope and relief. "So you can actually teach Rand, Moiraine Sedai? That is wonderful news!"

Moiraine nodded, a small smile flitting across her mouth. "I believe I can, in some small way. Certainly it will be easier to advise. But we will not be doing that tonight."

"What about the strange patterns? Does that happen when you embrace saidar?" I asked. Twenty patterns dwelt in my mind, in groups of six, seven and seven, each progressively more complex.

Moiraine frowned, but her curiosity boiled. "No, that does not happen. Describe the light one for me."

"A twist of red and yellow, tied together. Makes light" Her breath caught.

"Fire and Air. The basic light Weave all Novices are taught, but a twist instead of a ball."

"So I have twenty Weaves in my head?!" My voice brimmed with excitement. There was a part of me that wanted to touch the One Power right now, to try each of these Weaves out. To wield saidin and see my power touch the world. I forced it down.

"Testing new Weaves is a dangerous endeavor. You risk more than you even know. Promise me you will not use the One Power without my supervision, child." I bristled, annoyed at the immediate dismissal.

"I am no child." I bit out, growing angry at the thought she felt so dismissively of me.

"I am an Aes Sedai, child, older than you know. All Novices are children, regardless of age, and now that I can be assured I can teach you, you will be a child until I accept you are ready. Like all children, their guardians must make sure they do not hurt themselves by doing stupid things, like sticking their hands in the fire or playing with knives. When I teach you, you will be a child, and otherwise, you will be Rand. Is that acceptable, or are you going to bite my head off with that anger." Her face was placid and the bond felt like a cold winter's night.

That… That was reasonable, as long as it did not take years. I took deep breaths through my nose and out my mouth, calming my body. "Alright. Okay. I can agree with that, even if some part of me still rages at being called a child. I will listen to you as my Teacher. You know much more than I do. I cannot deny that, ever."

The smile was back and the cold receded to simply cool. I breathed a sigh of relief. Feeling her icy calm was so much worse in person when she was angry.

"I will have to plan a romantic picnic at least once a week, so we may train your more destructive Weaves unseen. But that is not why we are here tonight." Amusement played a little jig in Moiraine, and nervousness grew in Egwene. I looked between them, Moiraine's eyes bright and Egwene would not look at me

"Rand," Egwene said, blushing. "We had a discussion about the.. bonding situation and its future. I found it… unfair how much of your time is taken by Moiraine each night, and we talked about how much more difficult it will be with four other women and what that might look like." Her embarrassment echoes my own. "So, while it is still simple, we decided to alternate nights." I waited for her to finish but she squeaked and gestured to Moiriane.

A calm face with amused eyes met my confused eyes and an embarrassed face. She spoke plainly. "We will be sharing your bed as bedfellows. I will be taking tonight, and Egwene tomorrow, alternating. On the road we will all share bedrolls. It should help defend your mind from certain dreams as a benefit." She turned serious. "Do not consider that permission to do anything untoward."

I raised my hands up, more than slightly outraged. "Moiraine Sedai, I would never! Not with you, not with Egwene, not with any woman! My father raised me right, at least that much I remember."

She nodded. "And he did well, but you have been staring at me these last few days, in a way unlike before. I know the stares of men. I just wished to make sure you understood the sleeping situation, Rand, before something awkward happened. It is not… rejection, merely such things take time, especially for women such as I," she explained completely calmly. I did not know how she did it, as I could not help my flaming cheeks. Light. I barely know her and now she's going to be sleeping with me? There was nothing for me to do, but turn straight for my bed and lay on my belly, my face shoved into a pillow and scream. Why is my life so exhausting?!

That night, in the dark, Moiraine spoke. "I missed this. Having a sleeping companion. Lan never wants to, says its 'silly'." She rolled over in the dark to face me, inches from my face. I gave her plenty of room, yet she scooted right down beside me. I did not know what to think. Surely this is some kind of strange ploy? She cannot seriously want to sleep in my bed. "I grew up in Cairhein. In the Sun Palace. King Laman was my uncle and the halls of the Sun Palace had become more dangerous, as I grew up without my mother and a scholarly father who disdained the politics of nobles. I found great comfort in my bedfellows; the children of favored servants would get chosen to sleep in my bed, to provide for anything late at night. As I grew into my womanhood, they became my bosom buddies, the ones I could tell everything, every little secret I learned and all my hopes, my crushes and my dreams of becoming an Aes Sedai and going on grand adventures with a half-dozen Warders,." She laughed, softly. "Looks like you get to live my dream for me though."

I couldn't help myself as I snorted. "Six women is not exactly a dream for me. I'm just trying to get through this all, one step at a time." I paused and decided to spill. If Moiraine wanted to share, I was going to share. "Seeing our journey from the perspective of a watcher, and then what the Iridescent Flame put me through, it makes me think I'm cursed. I don't think I'm Rand anymore… I'm what's left, the dregs of a stubborn fool and whatever poor soul was chosen to suffer along with me." Bitter laughter left my mouth. "Or maybe I'm the poor soul, stuck with the dregs of a stubborn fool, cursed to take the place of the Dragon Reborn. I do not know the truth, but it has haunted my thoughts these last few nights."

She scooted closer, laying an arm around me and squeezing. It was nice, comforting, and I never in a thousand years would have expected it. "Of course you are thinking foolish thoughts like that. You are Rand, specifically you are the Rand that I like better. I think you're more reasonable, you're willing to listen, you try to keep your temper, you're even excited about channeling. I think the old Rand would have run in horror if even a third of the things you experienced and learned in the last week. I do not think you are dregs or a poor soul, Rand, just changed. We all change. That young women who thought she'd have adventures and men as an Aes Sedai is not me. And the you who thought this journey would end and you'd be able to return home is not who you are now." She squeezed tight before snaking her arm back. I did not reply.

I don't know if an Aes Sedai liking me better because I'm more compliant is a good thing, I thought but I just lay there with her warm body curled up next to mine, the comfort of someone who cared, until I fell asleep.

Saven 5, 998 NE (May 15)

Both Egwene and Moiraine arrived together tonight and I worked on memorization and Oneness, while Egwene played with balls of light, making them dance on her fingertips.

As Moiraine left, Egwene turned to me, bright red and a fierce look. "We only have a month and the journey to Tar Valon before I must leave you. In that time I will make sure you won't forget me Rand."

"I could never forget you, you are the one I remember most."

Her mouth twisted into a frown."Lan and Moiraine both told me what you said about yourself. You aren't the dregs, you aren't the leftovers, you're Rand. You're my Rand, the one who apologized for the horrid way he treated me, who faces his destiny without running, who is a little too fascinated with Moiraine's looks, and the man who sought to change fate for me. I love you."

She snuggled into me as she spoke, my arm holding her tight. My eyes teared at her words, she had been the one I was most terrified of knowing, that I thought I may not be Rand. I was afraid she would agree with me. I realized suddenly, I was very lucky. I had two women who cared for me, the comfort of a soft body next to mine, and even protection from evil dreams.

She smiled but then adopted a mock serious expression. "We have much to accomplish as husband and wife before I leave you. Get those clothes off, Rand." It was an even better night's sleep than with Moiraine.

Author's Note: Rand is listening to Nothing'severgonnastandinmyway (Again) by Wilco.