AN: Enjoy the chapter folks! Be sure to leave a review when you finish!
EDITED: 4/21/18. Added more about the history/culture of Mithriel and more about Cobra.
Berserk
Chapter Twenty
{i'll ask of the Berserks, you tasters of blood}
Lucy glances sideways at him, ripping her gaze from the storm clouds moving closer. Her lips press into a thin line, eyes narrowing as she looks between him and what appears to be a snowstorm approaching. The sky above them is gray, flecks of blue escaping through the clouds for only a moment before being swallowed once again, disappearing without a trace. Farther of, west of them, the sky is whitened out, looking like a sheer wall as it billows towards them, a low rumble crackling through the air.
Shifting nervously, she catches her lip between her teeth, worrying it as she stares at the looming clouds. The snow has picked up the closer they've gotten to the border with Stella, keeping close to the mountains separating the two countries, both to better block the wind, but also to make sure they don't lose their way, becoming trapped in the ice.
The blankness of Mithriel has a way of turning people around, everything looking the same to anyone unfamiliar with the land. Even experienced travelers often have trouble traveling through the snow covered land, not having landmarks to follow and relying upon the stars, often blocked from view by the frequent snowstorms.
Her grandfather, Makarov, lived in Mithriel for a time when he was younger, before her mother and Laxus' father were born. He used to tell her and Laxus stories of the snowstorms when they were younger, how everything would go white for miles and miles and it would be so easy to become lost. More people are killed by the storms of Mithriel than anything else in the country, their bodies lost in the snow. Most people are hardly found in these parts, though not many people go looking for those that don't return.
Mithriel is a primarily nomadic country with several warring factions, different dialects and customs and even gods. It was only the war with Pergrande that brought the groups together, ended their fighting for a time, but it won't last forever. Once the war with Pergrande finally comes to an end, the Mithriens will go back to warring with each other. Makarov always said they were warlike people, bullheaded.
Makarov himself was born to no faction, as his mother was Mithrien and his father was from Fiore, though she was a Corsac Mithrien from the southeast around the Miraal Sea region. And Cobra was raised in Mithriel as child before his family left for Minstrel, settling in the western coastal city of Jarda. Before that he was a Syrinka Mithrien, mountain traders along the Stella border.
It was Cobra's suggestion to follow the mountains, skirting around Stella. He knows the territory, though he hasn't been there in years, and she knows a little of the Syrinkan dialect if they should run into any of them, though at this point in the year they'll likely be hidden deep in the mountains to wait out the long winter, drifting closer to Stella where it's still warm. If she and Natsu follow the border, they'll be led directly into Bosco, and from there it should only be another weeks worth of walking for them to reach Fiore. If all goes well, Lucy will be home in a little over two weeks, much to her immense relief. Nearly four months she'll have been gone. Four long, nerve-wracking months. She'll be glad to be home again.
They've already been in Mithriel for nearly a week, the going slow, but their pace picking up the closer they are to Stella and it's more mild climate. The mountains are covered in snow, yes, but there's significantly less than when they were closer to the center of the country. The mountains block most of it, Lucy finding it easier to keep pace with Natsu without snow reaching to her knees.
Despite their unhurried pace, Lucy thinks they've been making good ground. If her estimates are correct, they should be roughly halfway through Mithriel, give or take some. She can't be entirely sure, but she's been paying close attention to the geography, watching for certain bends and curves in the mountain chain, attempting to match them with what she's seen on Makarov's trading maps.
Unfortunately, the snowstorm seems like it might delay them, the white wall heading directly towards them.
Sighing, Lucy turns away from the looming shapes in the distance, glancing behind her to stare pensively at the potential shelter the pair of them stumbled upon earlier in the day, deciding to stop for the time being, not wanting to risk being caught in the storm without a place to wait it out.
It's a cave, at least, it's supposed to be. The thing is more of a crack in the mountain than anything else, barely large enough for the pair of them to fit inside, but small enough to keep the wind from coming in and chilling them to the bone. It'll be a tight fit, but that's likely for the best. They'll better preserve heat without a large gap between them, though, Lucy doesn't think that would be much of a problem regardless. Natsu's temperature runs so hot that it wouldn't matter.
She almost didn't notice the little cave at first, the entrance partially blocked by warped bushes covered in dying leaves, half-hidden from sight. It was Natsu that pointed it out, his senses sharper than hers as he picked out the space with ease, having to partially guide Lucy with a wave of his hand until she found it.
Lucy leans back against the mountainside, ignoring the way bits of rock dig into her back, pricking at her through her jacket. She considers moving, but ultimately decides to stay put, eyes locked on the clouds, still far off, but steadily moving closer with every passing minute. They need to figure out what they want to do, and they need to do it quickly. If they want to leave, they should do it now, covering whatever ground they can before the storm hits. They could find another cave farther along if they really looked.
A foolish idea, really, but they're running out of options. They don't have time to bicker about what they want to do, not this time. They faced one storm back in Jorah and barely made it out in one piece, they might not be quit so lucky this time around.
"How close do you think it is?" she asks Natsu, lips pressing into a thin line as she glances between him and the snowstorm heading towards them. A rock digs into her shoulder, but Lucy pays no mind to it, the slight burn making her forget about the slow, steady aching in her left arm, duller than it was before, but just as constant, just as worrisome.
He doesn't look at her, jade eyes locked on the storms, his expression harder than she's ever seen it. He stands stock-still beside her, arms crossed tightly over his chest as he snarls at the storm, lips curved back to reveal his teeth. No sound leaves him, not even a breath, and Lucy is just starting to think he wouldn't answer at all when he finally rips his eyes away from what's coming, gaze snapping to hers. "Too close," he mumbles, exhaling heavily through his nose. Natsu runs his tongue along his teeth, fingers drumming against his thigh.
Lucy nods, humming to herself. It's not a good answer, but she figures it's the best either of them could do. They can't tell how fasts it's coming or how large it really is. It could still be tens of miles away, or it could be practically on top of them. Natsu's guess is as good as hers, better probably, and she trusts him enough to make a decision based on it.
Lucy's tongue flicks over her lips, her nose wrinkling when the cold bites at the wet muscle, her mouth going dry when the air swirls around her. Her own magic isn't strong enough to push it back, the zephyrs nothing compared to the howling north wind beating down on them. Lucy is sure that if she were to take a step forward the wind would simply carry her away, ripping her straight off the side of the cliff they've settled upon.
She turns to Natsu, facing more directly. She shoves her hair back away from her eyes, the blonde strands whipping around violently, snapping into her eyes and catching on her lips. "And you think we should stay here?" she asks him, looking for reassurance more than an argument. She's merely weighing their chances, considering their few options carefully. "We could be buried inside," she reminds gently, lips twisting into a frown.
Suffocation has always been something that scared her, especially as of late. She knows what it's like not being able to breathe, knows how terrifying it is and dizzy it made her feel. In that moment, Lucy could feel herself slipping away from reality, pain drifting into nothingness as the lack of air slowly killed her. She never wants that to happen again, not to her and not to Natsu either.
Honestly, Lucy thinks she would rather face the cold than let her mind slip away so easily, slowly dying trapped in a crack in the side of a mountain. No one would find them there, not for weeks and weeks. Not until the spring, when all the ice is gone. Lucy doesn't want to be left there to rot until springtime, not when she's so close to being home.
"Better than being buried out there," Natsu says softly, reaching out to give her right shoulder a gently squeeze, his bare fingers curling around her arm carefully. He shoves his own hair back from his face, sending her an almost rueful smile, clearly not liking their options just as much as her. He's tense, eyes hard as he looks between her and the storm, fidgeting slightly, weight shifting from side to side.
Lucy laughs, but there's no humor to it. She shakes her head when Natsu sends her a surprised look. She returns it, mock-amusement in her eyes, though her smile is tense, bitter and hardly a smile at all. "Not by much," she says, sighing, feeling the fight drain from her, no bite to her words.
He quirks a brow, surprised as he stares down at her. For a moment he says nothing, simply stares, but the he frowns, something sad overtaking his expression. "You'd rather freeze," he murmurs. It's not a question, simply an observation, and a clever one at that.
She has to stop herself from saying she'd rather do anything than suffocate again, biting her tongue just in time to stop the words from spilling out. It wasn't his fault, and she doesn't blame him for what happened. She won't give him a reason to doubt her trust in him. "I'd rather be able to see the sunlight," she corrects, managing a small, tense smile for him, hoping to ease his own nerves.
It doesn't seem to work, his brow furrowing as he stares down at her, something in his gaze that she doesn't recognize. He steps in a bit closer, shifting them so his back is turned to the storm, blocking it from her view. "Don't worry," he says, crooked grin pulling at his lips. "I wouldn't let you die without being able to see it again." It sounds like a joke, but there's something utterly serious in his expression, his eyes too intense for it to be a simple joke.
"Reassuring," she replies, sending him the best smile she can muster. It comes out flat, she can tell. Lucy appreciates his words, she really does, but they don't mean much, not at the moment. Despite this, the words do relax her a bit, or perhaps it's the honest look in his eyes, the promise there. It's not something he can promise, not really, but she knows he would do his best to fulfill it.
He steps in closer, leaning over her, hand still curled around her shoulder gently. His fingers tap against her shoulder blade, so light she almost misses it. Natsu ducks his dead, stooping slightly to look her in the eyes. "I promise," he says, a firm edge to his words. "I said I'd get you home, right?" he asks her, waiting until she nods to let his expression slip into a small smile.
Lucy own lips twist into a frown, her eyes narrowing slowly. "Why are you helping me?" she asks him, more curious than accusing. He startles at the question, eyes wide, but Lucy doesn't take it back. She remembers his reasons from the first day: guilt and nowhere else to run, but they're long past that. He's protected her several times, if he was so concerned about a blood dept it already would have been paid by now. And he could have left her as soon as they entered Mithriel, going his own way, but he didn't, choosing instead to stick with her.
She wants to know why.
"Because I said I would," he replies simply enough, wincing when Lucy sends him an unimpressed look. He swallows, throat bobbing harshly. Natsu's gaze slips away from hers, his brow furrowing as he looks down at the snow. Lucy's impatience grows, but before she can ask him again his head snaps up, surprising her. "We each pick a rune," he murmurs.
Lucy nods in understanding, vaguely familiar with the practice. Makarov has an old book of them at how, depicting the symbols and their meanings. She remembers seeing Natsu's that first day, though it was too smeared with blood and sweat for her to read. "And what did you pick?" she asks, peering up at him.
His expression softens, but only slightly. For a moment he says nothing, then he sighs and drops into a crouch, startling her with the sudden movement. Lucy stares, unsure if she should follow him down, but Natsu doesn't appear to notice her dilemma, his gaze focused on the ground. He reaches out for the snow, placing a single finger in the ice crystals. She blinks, confused, but then he begins to draw, hand moving in careful strokes to make crisp lines.
It comes out looking like a "Y", though there's a third prong jutting out the top, the main line continuing upwards, rather than cutting off at the base of the "v".
Natsu turns back to her, standing slowly, his gaze trained on her eyes, something serious there. "It's called Algiz," he explains quietly, eyes drifting from her face to the drawing in the snow, the shape slowly being covered by a fresh flurry of snow. "It means to protect." He looks back at her. "I want to protect," Natsu clarifies, giving a small smile.
Lucy starts to speak, but he cuts her off, albeit gently, needing her to listen to what he's saying. And she does, she wants to know why he stayed when it would have been easier for him to go.
"You helped me that day," he continues, shuffling to better face her directly, blocking the wind from beating on them both. "Maybe you weren't trying to, but you did." His smiles widens, but only for a moment before disappearing entirely. "You could have just killed me." She flinches at the thought, but he only sends her a brief, apologetic look. "It might have been easier, but you chose to take the collar off me, even though you had no reason to believe I wouldn't just kill you when it came off," he finishes quietly, Lucy barely able to hear him over the howling wind.
Her lips part with a wet crackle, Lucy's tongue heavy and thick in her mouth, clumsy. She tries to speak, but nothing comes out, her mouth opening and closing slowly. Her voice cracks when she finally manages to say something, nothing more than a murmur of his name. "Natsu," she whispers, syllables wobbly on her tongue.
His smile comes back, still small, but much brighter, stretching up to meet his eyes. "You stopped me from doing something I would have hated myself forever for," he tells her, a grateful tint to his voice, much to Lucy's surprise. "You stopped me from doing something awful." He takes a half-step towards her, hand coming up to brush the hair out of her eyes. "I chose Algiz, because I want to protect the people who want to protect me."
She hears the unspoken ending there, the "from himself" lays thick between them, cold and bitter, but Natsu is smiling, and Lucy can't help but return the quirk of lips, smaller and sadder than his, but a smile nonetheless.
Lucy steps forward into his chest, arms coming up to curl around his waist, holding him tightly. He inhales sharply at the unexpected contact, but melts into her quickly, his own arms coming around to engulf her, tugging her closer to his broad chest. Her cheek ends up pressed to his bare skin, his jacket unbuttoned towards the top. Brass bites into her skin, but she ignores it, arms squeezing around him. Natsu's head drops to rest against her crown, warm breath puffing against her hair.
They stay there until the storm hits.
Lucy drops down beside Natsu, crossing her legs beneath her and tucking herself close to his side. The rock behind her is warm from where the two of them have been pressed against it, cold stone leeching away at their body heat. She shifts closer to his side, frozen ground nipping at her bare legs, Lucy's socks left out to dry beside the fire, too wet to be of much use to her. Natsu snickers at her swearing, and Lucy sends him a nasty look in reply, but there's no heat to it.
Twisting to face him, Lucy shifts, wiggling so that her cold toes slip beneath his thigh, pressed between him and the ground. She sighs in immediate relief as his heat sinks into her ice-bitten skin, the result instantaneous. If he minds, he doesn't say so, merely leaning into the wall behind him and glancing at the fire, his own legs stretched out towards the flames, so close that she's almost afraid his toes will burn. Natsu, however, show's no signs of discomfort, appearing at ease so close to the fire.
Sometimes she forgets, not what he is—who he is, but simply how different he acts from what she's been told, little things, really. All her life she was told that Berserkers are something monstrous, something that can't feel or simply doesn't care, but she knows how wrong that is now. Not all are good, she knows, Lucy's witnessed that with her own eyes, once when she was very young.
Natsu is different that anything she could have expected. She knows how strong he is, how brutal he can be in a fight. She knows that he snap a man's neck like nothing and that he could crush her if he ever wanted to. She also knows that he would never do that, not to her, at least. Lucy has nothing to fear from Natsu and his crooked smile and gentle hands, though his personality is loud and gruff at times. Besides that first day, he's never been anything but careful with her.
He's a far cry soft, but Lucy knows he wouldn't hurt her, not intentionally. He's not a monster, he's not anything people may have called him. He's just—Natsu.
Outside, the wind screams as it races by, the storm raging only a few feet from where they're sitting, roaring in anger when it can't find them tucked away in the side of the mountain, hidden just out of sight.
She thinks an Old God must be furious with the was the storm howls, barred from them by a thick blanket from Lucy's bag, Natsu managing to pin the fabric over the cave opening from the inside, securing it by ripping small holes in the corner and slipping them around sharp juts in the wall. It's held, surprisingly, blocking out most of the cold and snow, though they've been fighting to keep the smoke from lingering in the small space.
While they may not be buried alive, the smoke may still get to them, especially if they aren't careful.
"We can't have the fire going at night," she tells Natsu suddenly, curling so that she's pressed against his side, knowing they'll need to put out the fire sooner than later. They're both exhausted from nearly two weeks worth of running through mountains and snow, rarely finding a decent place to make camp, their spots always too open, both to the cold and to any prying eyes that could be watching. Lucy doesn't want to risk one of them falling asleep and accidentally killing them both. "The smoke will suffocate us."
He doesn't look away from the fire, the silhouette of a flame dancing in his dark eyes when she glances up at him, propping her chin on her bend knees, toes wiggling beneath him. Natsu suddenly blinks away from the fire, head snapping around to look at her, expression pinched as he looks down at her shivering frame.
Natsu's gaze locks with hers, warm and concerned and Lucy could swear that he's seeing right through her, picking her apart from the inside out. Her tongue feels loose suddenly, and she's all too aware of the burning in her arm, a lingering pain she's grown used to over the weeks they've been together. The urge to tell him springs to the forefront of her mind, Lucy's lips parting slightly—
Her teeth clack together as she shuts her mouth, words catching in her throat, choking her. She swallows them back down, hating herself for not being able to say them, for not knowing why the words won't come out.
He doesn't appear to notice, reaching out and hooking a hand around her legs, palm warm against her calf. His thumb rubs against her paler skin, Natsu's hands so dark compared to her own. His calloused fingertips draw paths against her, tracing an old scar from a time when she lost a fight with an old friend, Jellal taller than her and better versed in knife fighting. He was her teacher, after all.
Drawing circles on her skin, Natsu's hands are warm against her, chasing away the cold but also tickling her, Lucy biting her lip to keep from laughing with each teasing brush of his fingers.
He sighs through his nose, pursing his lips as he draws a line from the back of her knee down to her ankle, her sprain healed completely, the swelling having gone some time ago. "We could take down the blanket," he suggests, though even he winces at the thought, blanching.
If it wasn't storming so badly, it would be a decent idea, but taking down the blanket would only let snow in, even as the smoke slipped out.
"It would just let in the cold," she tells him, reaching out and placing a hand over his knee, giving him a brief squeeze in thanks for the suggestion, even if it wasn't one they could use. Her hand lingers, fingers tapping against his covered skin. He squeezes her calf in response, pressing his thigh tighter against her shins.
Natsu nods, exhaling heavily and wrinkling his nose. He glances towards the low burning fire a few feet from them, the flame small from not being fed, both to reduce smoke and also to keep them from burning in the small space. "So no fire," he murmurs, nodding slowly. It isn't a question and they both know it.
"No fire," she agrees sadly, sending him a small smile. He grins back at her, green eyes filled with warmth as he squeezes her leg once more, gently, releasing her a moment later, though not pulling away entirely.
He hesitates a moment, hand hanging in the air between them, and Lucy's twitch as she suddenly shifts, twisting to press herself against his side. Her toes aren't cold anymore, after all. The heat from him seeps into her side, lessening the ache from her shoulder and making her sigh. It's been so finicky lately, never sure what it wants.
"Are you sure?" Natsu murmurs, looking down at her in concern. Lucy ignores the question, flashing his a quick smile before catching his hand in both of hers. He's chilly, though not as much so as she is. Lucy brushes her thumb across the back of his hand, working to warm them both, though she knows the cold doesn't affect him. Natsu laughs at her efforts, acknowledging her silent affirmation. He wriggles his hand from her grasp, tossing it over her shoulders instead, chasing away the cold.
They're silent for some time, caught between listening to the wind and watching the fire crackle, sparks floating away in little wisps, more like fireflies than anything else. Natsu relaxes beside her, the last of the tension leaving him as the night grows darker, hours later.
Lucy grows tired of the silence after some time, a restlessness pulling at her gut. "So every Berserk chooses a rune?" she asks him, not sure where the question is coming from, but realizing it's something she's been curious about. She's noticed them on the others, each one slightly different, though she doesn't quite know what they mean.
Natsu startles beside her, head snapping around, eyes wide with shock. He blinks, and Lucy realizes a moment later that he's less surprised by the question and more so her usage of the word "Berserk" like him, something she's never done before. A cultural difference, she's noticed. She hadn't meant to say it, the word simply slipping out. Lucy hopes it's not taboo, not wanting to upset him.
Despite her worry, Natsu only smiles, expression going soft as he sends her a fond look. His fingers squeeze around her shoulder, touch gentle. "Yeah," he breathes back to her, the tips of his long fingers dipping down enough to tease her collar bone, Lucy shivering at the light touch. The pads of his fingers trace the curve of the bone, barely tickling the side of her throat before he pulls back, fingers going back to her arm, where he latches on with a firm grip.
"Are they all as noble as yours?" she jokes, tilting her head to meet his eyes. watching the shadows cast by the fire shift across his jaw, the muscle there jumping whenever he moves.
Natsu laughs, a low, deep rumble that Lucy can feel echo in her own chest, Natsu's entire body quivering with the sound. "Hardly," he tells her, still chuckling lightly. There's something dark in his eyes though, something a bit sad, or possibly disappointed. "Some desire wealth, some destruction." He shrugs, humor slipping from his face as he sighs.
"How do you choose?" she asks, voice barely a whisper between them, Lucy afraid to speak too loud and shatter the gentle silence that's come over them.
He tightens his grip on her arm, giving her a quick squeeze. "Some just know," he says softly. Natsu glances down at her, wetting his lips as he holds her gaze. "It—" he cuts off suddenly, eyes narrowing as he considers what to say. "It calls to them," Natsu settles with, eyes locking with hers. "Sometimes in dreams." He smiles. "And you just know that's what you want most," he whispers, "all the way in your bones."
Lucy swallows, eyes searching his face, though she doesn't know what for. "Did you know?" she says, head tilting to one side curiously. She thinks he must have, there's something about Natsu that screams protective, screams that he wants to help others, no matter the cost to him. Something like that doesn't come suddenly, it's nurtured from a very young age, growing slowly but surely.
Natsu doesn't hesitate in his response, grinning down at her widely, all sharp teeth, canines flashing in the low light. "From the moment I saw it," he admits.
Lucy nods slowly, glancing down at his bare chest, no blue marking in sight. She hasn't seen it since the first day, though she doesn't know if it's for lack of paint or not. "Do you miss it?" she asks, Natsu frowning in confusion at the odd question. Lucy wets her lips, shrugging slightly. "I know you were wearing it when we first met, but it washed away," she clarifies, feeling foolish for asking. "Do you miss it?" Lucy repeats.
If he does, Lucy is sure they can find something to use in Bosco, unless a specific kind is needed. That may be a bit harder to procure, but she'd try.
Natsu startles her by laughing, though only lightly, a hint of amusement in his tone. "There's nothing to miss," he tells her softly, leaning down to knock his temple against hers lightly. " 'To live and die by the runes,' " he tells her gently, "that's what—" Natsu stops suddenly, shaking his head slowly. "Whether we wear them or not," he explains, so low she almost can't hear him, "we feel them in our bones." He grins. "They're a part of us, more than just paint on skin."
AN: edited 4/21/18