AN: Enjoy the chapter folks! Be sure to leave a review when you finish!
EDITED 5/20/18
Berserk
Chapter Twenty Six
{i'll ask of the Berserks, you tasters of blood}
Natsu is amazed by how much the landscape has changed so quickly. They've been walking for days through snow and open ground, nothing to be seen for miles besides the mountains of Stella off to their left, a constant, looming presence that felt more protective than anything else. Ever present, the mountains stayed at their side for the better part of their trek through the icy lands, Natsu coming to enjoy them more than he ever expected. They were beautiful, high peaks covered in ice and snow, the snow catching the light and bathing the mountains in an ethereal glow. It was enough to steal his breath, to make him understand what nature's true beauty could be.
He's seen beautiful things before, but he's also seen cruel things, violent things that haunt him in his sleep. He wishes they would disappear, not wanting to see them flicker behind his closed eyes, but knowing that he must appreciate the true, unaltered beauty of nature more because of it. Everything seems a bit brighter to him, now that they've left Pergrande so far behind them.
Now, however, the scenery has changed dramatically, open sheets of ice have turned into a great forest, towering pines stretching high into the air, Natsu barely able to see the tops at times. They disappear into the clouds, standing tall and proud, magnificent giants watching over them. He hadn't thought he was missing the forests in Pergrande, them reminding him too much of what happened to them there, the fighting and the death and blood, the violence he caused, but when he saw the trees a flicker of relief flooded through his veins, Natsu relaxing only the slightest, muscles losing some of their tension. He felt at home among the trees, like he could breathe easier. It was hard for them, traveling through Mithriel.
The cover is appreciated. He doesn't feel nearly as exposed anymore, not like he did before. Traversing through open ground can be dangerous, it was dangerous for them. He could see for what seemed like miles, but so could others, and that could cause problems. It did cause problems. They wouldn't have been ambushed like that if they were in the cover of trees. Natsu would have heard them coming, the snapping of branches a give away. It may have been harder to maneuver, but they may not have had to fight at all if they hadn't been surprised. Perhaps then neither of them would have been hurt.
There's nothing they can do to change that now, however. It happened, they survived, though not without their own share of battle-scars. Lucy's throat is still raw and bruised, though the edges are beginning to yellow, not nearly as dark as the one's he left behind. It still terrifies him to think about how hard he must have grabbed her to leave bruises like he did, but he doesn't like to dwell on the thought, knowing it does neither of them any good. He did what he did and she forgave him. He'll never hurt her like that again, not so long as he can help it.
Her ribs are also sore, something Natsu hadn't realized until an unfortunately placed elbow bumped into her side, Lucy yelping before she could bite it back. He'd been furious with himself for not noticing it sooner, but she only waved him off, promising she was okay and that it only hurt a little. Natsu was more careful with her after that, minding her bruises and asking if it hurt.
She let him pull her shirt up her side after that, baring her discolored skin to his greedy eyes and allowing him to assess the damage. Her side was bathed in fading blue bruises, and she gasped when he trailed his fingers up her sides, Lucy trembling when his palm settled on the side of her ribcage, lightly feeling for broken bones, relieved when he found none. He glanced between her throat and her side, feeling the urge to kiss her skin like his mother used to do for him when he was hurt, but shook the thought away when Lucy shivered, his breath fanning across her belly.
Natsu faired the better of the two of them in his own opinion, though not by much. Most of his bruises are already fading, cuts superficial and more irritating than anything else. His shoulder still aches, but Lucy's stitches have held strong. They itch something fierce, but he can ignore it for the most part. He hasn't bled much since they've been put in, and they seem to be healing well, according to Lucy.
He isn't the best judge when it comes to them, never having had stitches before he met her. Mostly, the Centari king would simply let them bleed until their wounds closed over on their own, uncaring unless an infection set in. The man may have been more cruel than anything Natsu could have ever imagined, but he always made sure to keep them alive, not wanting his best soldiers to rot from the inside out.
His lip curls up in a sneer, but Natsu bites back a growl at his thoughts, not wanting to startle Lucy, who's busy staring down at the new map in her hands almost giddily.
They came across a small town only an hour back, the only one they've seen so far. Lucy explained to him that most Mithrien cities lie north, bordering the ocean coast, the nation relying on imports to survive the harsh winters. Mithriel also has its share of exports, mostly highly prized furs and rum, as well as smaller objects carved from beautiful stones.
A shop owner in Parsum, the town they stumbled upon, was kind enough to show them a few. Most were carved into the shapes of animals, some Natsu couldn't recognize: snakes, deer, birds, even a fiery red stone carved into he shape of a phoenix, wings spread and delicate wisps of fire trailing from its feathers. There were flowers as well, several dozen laid out in rows, some large and practically life-sized, resting in pretty vases.
Lucy was particularly fond of a delicate iris, white and pale lavender, delicate with its frilled edges. The shop owner gifted it to them, much to their collective surprise. The man simply explained that he was as good as retired, only continuing to make the stone carvings because of the joy it brought others. The man told them they looked like they could use a little joy.
Thankfully, the pair of them had just enough money left to buy bread and meat for the rest of their trip to Fiore, Lucy figuring it wouldn't take them more than a week to Magnolia, give or take a day or two. Bosco is storm country, they were told. It was hard to tell when the rain would get so bad they would be stuck indoors for days on end.
The thought wasn't a comforting one, but they simply smiled at the woman who told them, thanking her for the bit of advice before moving on, the two of them deciding to spend the night in an inn instead of sleeping in the woods for another night, both of them preferring something relatively warm to curling in the snow and trying fruitlessly to stay dry.
The inn made him think of Peg back in Jorah, something bitter rising in his throat as he thought about how kind she was to them, practically waving away their money and keeping mum about Natsu's blood. She could have made a large sum by turning them in to the soldiers nearby, but she didn't.
A part of him hopes she lived, but he knows better than to hold false hope. Jorah was a bloodbath, he would be surprised if anyone survived. From the hill, Natsu could only see a few people milling around below, too far away for him to recognize them, though he doubts they were anyone he was familiar with anyway.
There were a lot of people in Jorah, Natsu only met a small handful of them, though most were kind to him and Lucy.
There's a snapping sound behind them, Natsu startling when he hears it. He goes still, eyes widening and head snapping up in surprise. It's not Lucy, he knows, he girl also looking up in surprise, no wayward sticks beneath her feet. She exchanges a quick look with him, confused, and reaches for her quiver, shoving the map back into her bag as she begins to edge her bow from her shoulder, unwilling to let them be surprised again.
He blinks, something moving in the corner of his eyes. Natsu snarls, low and warning, and the creature stops, going very still just out of sight. His skin prickles, Natsu wondering if they've been caught by more rogues. Neither of them are prepared for another fight so soon, though he thinks they could win one if they needed to.
Turning slowly, he bares his teeth at whatever's coming, though his growl catches slightly as he sees what it is.
Herne, he thinks, judging from Lucy's description of the creatures. Like elk, but taller, broader in the chest and shoulders, with shaggy, snowy hair and antlers rising from their heads like branches, points sharp and dangerous. They blend in well with the trees and snow, invisible unless they shake their large heads, antlers jostling in a way unlike branches.
His breath catches when one looks at him, eyes dark and intelligent. It calls out to them, several others filing around the first, at least ten adults and a spatter of calves, wobbly on their legs and without antlers. They stare curiously, young ones nervous, skittering about. They edge around the adults, sniffing at them, but Natsu growls again and they spring back, making startled sounds.
The adults snort, amused or otherwise, he can't tell, but they don't edge closer, watching them wearily.
Natsu hears a soft gasp, turning in time to watch Lucy release a shaky breath, a smile slipping onto her face. Slipping her back over shoulder, she murmurs something, Natsu not trying to make out the words as she shifts, worming her way around him, much to Natsu's confusion. For a moment she just stands there, wide-eyed, but then she takes a step towards the beasts.
He simply watches her, Lucy's boots making soft prints in the snow, jacket half-hanging off her lithe frame as she slides up to the Herne, whispering to them. She slides up to their sides, Natsu eyeing them, concerned that they could hurt her with their sharp antlers and large frames, but they don't move, letting Lucy come close, her hand outstretched to touch the leader, a small smile creeping onto her face. He merely watches in amazement.
The Herne leans into her hand, nosing at her, and he hears Lucy giggle in response, the deer's breath puffing against her gently, the cloud of its breath billowing in the air. She strokes its nose and then down the side of its neck, fingers disappearing in the shaggy hair.
Natsu smiles when the large creature presses into her hand, several others coming up to crowd around her, wanting attention as well. One knocks its head against her shoulder, snorting in disdain about not getting attention, and Lucy laughs as she lifts her other hand, carting it through the thick fur, much to the animals obvious enjoyment.
He remembers that Lucy called them fairy deer once, casually as they sat nestled in the cave. She told them stories about them, things she heard from her mother, how they were friends to the Faeborne, able to sense their magic and actively seek them out, though she wasn't sure if they were real.
He doesn't think she has any doubts now.
Her magic picks up, air swirling around her happily, light, merely ruffling her hair and jacket, doing little else.
The Herne jostle her around, Lucy shaking with barely contained laughter. Natsu laughs as well, amused with the sight of Lucy pressed up on her toes to pat the nose of a Herne in the back, trying her hardest to give them all equal attention. The deer are all gentle around her, not shoving at each other and doing little more than bumping against her softly, trying to gain her attention, mindful of their antlers.
A calf bleats, nosing at Lucy's ribs, and though she winces at the feeling she turns to pet it, locking eyes with Natsu as she twists around.
Natsu's breath catches slightly in his throat when she looks at him, his mirthful expression slipping into one of wonder, his gaze tangled with hers. He swallows, taking in Lucy's bright eyes and messy, wind-whipped hair, loose around her head, no braids to be found. Strands fall in her eyes, but she shoves them back, reaching out her free hand and beckoning him towards her, murmuring his name gently.
Natsu is suddenly struck by the image of Ferja, an old animal goddess that Igneel once told him stories about, rumored to be the most beautiful thing imaginable, with eyes deep as the earth, both gentle and more fierce than any man or beast.
He's on his feet before he realizes it, eyes never once leaving hers, heart stuttering in his chest as he wanders over to her. Her fingers tangle with his and she pulls him forward, the calf pressed between them, its fur tickling his chest.
A few of the deer startle as he comes close, weary as they eye him much as he had them, recognizing the Berserk scent clinging to his skin. One snorts distrustfully, but they don't step away as he nears them, simply watch him carefully.
Lucy guides his hand, leading him to pet the nose of the largest Herne, the leader of the little group. It sniffs at his fingers, hesitating for several seconds before leaning in and pressing its warm muzzle into his hand, allowing Natsu to pet it. Her throat goes tight at the gesture, his hands growing braver as he reaches out to stroke down the beasts fur, the Herne tossing its head in delight, a high pitched bleat coming from the deer.
He gives a breathless laugh, surprised and elated, most animals wanting nothing to do with him, as if they can tell what he is.
Something nudges his hip, warm lips nibbling at his skin, and Natsu glances down to see a smaller calf beside him, blinking up with large, soft eyes. It grows impatient with his lack of attention, nipping at him with dull teeth, and Natsu smiles, reaching down to pet it.
It doesn't pull back.
The Herne follow them until they reach the border with Bosco, filing around them and nosing for food. They provide good company for the few hours they travel with the pair, older creatures standing around them almost protectively, the young ones running along ahead, playing and bleating happily. They were amusing to watch, slipping around in the snow and butting heads with one another. A pair tried to persuade Natsu to play with them, but he merely waved them off, much to their disappointment. They weren't dissuaded, however, continuing to come back and nudge at him every few minutes.
Natsu and Lucy stop to watch the Herne disappear back into the trees, watching with fond smiles as they walk away, heads tossing happily and tails flicking about. The leader of the small band stays back for an extra minute, merely waiting beside them before sniffing at Lucy's hair and turning to spring back into the trees without a backwards glance.
As they slip across the border, which is nothing more then an old, rickety fence that they have to hop over, Natsu takes a moment to look around, eyes wide as he takes in their surrounds. He's a bit surprised with how thing look, having been expecting something more from the new land, though Bosco hardly looks any different from Mithriel.
The land is warmer with less snow, but overall looks no different from the last few miles they traveled in Mithriel. Mountains rise on either side of them, a ways off, but still towering high above them. The forest is thick, pines mingling with leafier trees, blocking out most of the light from above and casting shadows across the ground.
Overall, Natsu thinks it's nice, quiet and dark, but with a less threatening atmosphere than Pergrande and even Mithriel.
"Welcome to Bosco," Lucy tells him, waving around an arm in a sarcastic little flourish. There's something bitter in her expression, which confuses Natsu, but he decides it's best not to ask, figuring it's nothing important. If it was, he guesses she would tell him, especially if there was something dangerous about the country. He knows very little of Bosco, but what he does know isn't pretty at all.
He snorts in response, sending her a grin that the she returns easily, eyes sparking with mischief that he's grown quite fond of. "It doesn't look very different from Mithriel," he notes, casting a quick glance around them, squinting through the trees when he sees a bird fly, disappearing into the shadows.
Lucy laughs, gaze amused when she looks at him, walking backwards to hold his gaze. "Did you think there'd be a sign?" she jokes, honey eyes practically lighting up. She's more relaxed than he's seen her in days, and he's happy to see the brightness warming her eyes now that she's in more familiar territory.
She stumbles slightly, tripping over a branch beneath her foot, but Natsu grabs her by the wrist to hold her up, laughing at the little gasp that tumbles from her mouth, much to her embarrassment. Her arm slips from his grip, Lucy continuing to walk backwards, though more carefully this time, Natsu still ready to catch her should she slip.
"It would be helpful," he notes in response to her question, shrugging slightly. Lucy merely smiles back, so Natsu decides to ask a question that's been nipping at his thoughts for days now, nothing too important, simply something to ease his curiosity. "So what's Bosco like?"
Her smile slips away, Lucy twisting around so that she's walking beside him once again. "It's…" she trails off helplessly for a moment, lips pressing into a thin line and her eyes narrowing in thought. "It's not a good place," Lucy tells him, giving a little sigh as she stares off somewhere between the trees, looking at nothing in particular.
Natsu frowns down at her, brow furrowing. "What do you mean?" He knows Bosco isn't the best of places, but he doubts it could be nearly as bad as Pergrande, with its malicious king and cruel soldiers. He's seen many towns be destroyed, burned to nothing all to send a message. Fear-mongering. Anything to keep the citizens compliant with the crown.
"Bosco…," she starts slowly, chewing her bottom lip in thought. "It's entire economy runs on trade," Lucy tells him, peeking up at him for only a moment. "Mostly human trafficking, which you already know." It hangs in the air between them, thick and heavy, but Lucy doesn't linger on the silence. "Crime rate is high, people are taken off the streets, sold like animals. It would be safer to travel through Seven but…" Lucy shrugs.
"But this is faster," he finishes for her, nodding slowly, understanding. They're both exhausted and bruised, still beaten down from everything that's occurred. An extra week of travel might be safer, but they'll only be more tired should they run into trouble.
She hums in agreement, more to herself than him. "Besides," she says with a smile, looking up at him with a touch of humor in her gaze. "I think we can handle ourselves, given the circumstances."
Natsu frowns down at her, head tilting to one side in confusion. "And what circumstances are those?" he asks, looking down at Lucy curiously, eager to hear what's on her mind. He likes listening to her talk, hearing the different range of emotions in her words, sometimes unable to simply keep up with her thoughts.
Her arm bumps against his playfully, Lucy looking away from him, though the smile never leaves her. "Well," she says, wetting her lips, "I haven't seen you lose a fight yet." It's a simple fact, though he feels something like pride well within him, it sounding almost like a praise coming from Lucy. Though, perhaps it's only his ego hearing what it wants to.
She's wrong though. He has lost a fight since they've been together, and a very important one at that. "I lost to you," he reminds her gently, bumping her back. And he'll always be grateful that he did. If he hadn't, he'd be back in the capital by now, probably back in his cage or fighting in the ring for the amusement of rich, bored men and women eager to watch him bleed.
"Not technically," Lucy argues, though she only sounds half-serious, more teasing than anything. He's beginning to think that Lucy enjoys a good argument. Nothing serious, of course, but enough for a bit of a verbal spar. She's hard to keep up with and he doesn't find himself to be a very good opponent, but she doesn't seem to mind. "If I hadn't gotten that collar off when I did," she protests, "I probably wouldn't be alive right now."
He smiles down at her, arm pressing against hers until she finally blinks up at him. When her eyes lock with his, Natsu's expression becomes serious, wanting to make sure she really hears him, not just listens. "Don't sell yourself short," he tells her, gentle but firm, and Lucy's eyes widen.
"Excuse me?" she chokes out, looking surprised by his words. Natsu wonders if anyone has ever told her how strong she really is.
"I said don't sell yourself short," he repeats, coming to a sudden halt. Lucy stills as well, turning to face him more directly. "You figured out what the collar did," Natsu reminds her, gesturing to her bag with a jerk from his chin. "No one else has done that before." In all the years the king has been using them, no ever thought to see if it was dark magic affecting them. No one but Lucy. "And you got it off me while you could barely breathe." She looks away, but he only smiles. "That's something to be proud of Lucy. You lived," he says softly. "Not a lot of people do that."
Laughing, Lucy shakes her head, amused when she looks up at him. "I think you're overestimating me," she tells him.
Natsu is already shaking his head before she's finished. "I'm not," he affirms, expression utterly serious when he stares down at her. "You just underestimate yourself." Her shock is evident, but he isn't finished, not yet. "I've seen you fight, Lucy." She fiddles with her bowstring, but doesn't look away from him. "Don't forget that you've saved my ass as many times as I have yours, probably more."
"Now you're just exaggerating," she teases, but her expression starts to perk up, Lucy not looking nearly as cheerless as she did a moment ago. She doesn't smile, but he can see it edging at her lips, just waiting to be let go.
Natsu laughs, shaking his head incredulously. "I'm not," he insists, reaching out to poke a finger towards her bag, jostling it slightly. "You managed to steal from a king." It's impressive, especially to him. No one had ever dared to steal from the Centari king, not in all the years her lived in Pergrande. No one but a tiny girl from Fiore with more fire in her than any Berserk Natsu has ever seen.
Lucy scoffs, but it's more playful than disagreeing. "He's old and getting senile," she tells him, a hint of humor in her voice that makes him laugh.
"We both know he's not," Natsu argues, snorting as he tries to hold back his laughter. The Centari king, while certainly aging, if very much in control of his mind, still as sharp as he's always been. The man is no older than sixty, after all. "You snuck out of one of the most heavily guarded capitals in the world." He'll keep listening her feats for as long as she keeps arguing, mostly because he thinks she needs to hear it, but also because it's fun to argue with her like this.
Stiffening slightly, Lucy shakes her head, arms wrapping around herself protectively. "I got caught," she admits softly, unable to look him in the eyes. Her lower lip finds its way between her teeth, a sad sound tumbling from her.
Shrugging, Natsu takes a step closer to her. "You got away." She looks up at him, blinking slowly. "You ran on a busted leg and still almost managed to outrun me," he lists, ducking his head slightly to better meet her eyes. "You fought a raging Berserk and lived."
"I also ran away from one," she says, so soft he almost doesn't hear her. Her expression twists into something unfamiliar and self-loathing, Lucy wincing at her admission.
Natsu's smile slips away, his brow furrowing as he looks down at her, not liking the look in her eyes. "What's with that face?" he teases, hoping to lighten the conversation, if only a little, but Lucy doesn't bite, shaking her head slowly.
Lucy takes a deep, shuddery breath and he thinks she might be about to cry, but the tears don't come, her eyes glossy and melancholy, but not spilling over. "I just ran away and left you there," she murmurs, more to herself than him. "You could have died." Her eyes snap up to lock with his, her face a shade paler than it was moments ago. "You almost did."
He's stunned into silence for a long moment, his eyes wide as he stares down at Lucy, mouth moving but no sound leaving him. "Are you still mad at yourself for that?" he asks her softly, shaking his head sadly. Lucy looks away from him, and he knows he's right, though he can't understand why she's so upset, even though he wants to. "Do you know why I asked you to run?" he asks her softly, reaching out with one hand and tilting her chin up gently, wanting her to look at him when he says this. Her eyes meet his slowly, Natsu sending her a serious look. "It's not because you aren't strong, Lucy, because you are. Anyone with eyes can see that." Her lips slip into a small smile that only lasts for a moment, but it's enough for him to continue. "I didn't want you to get between us," he admits, sighing softly. "I almost lost control of myself. I did, for a moment," he corrects himself. "And if you had been there, I didn't know if I would recognize you, or if you would just be another hazy face."
If she had been there, he doesn't know if she would still be here now, and that terrifies him. He doesn't have the collar anymore, but he's still a slave to his anger.
"You have better control over yourself than that," she tells him, reaching out to link her fingers through his and squeeze.
Natsu shakes his head, smiling down at her sadly, feeling tired all the way to his bones. "I don't." He looks away from her briefly, wetting his lips. "I can always feel it, clawing to get out," Natsu admits to her, free hand coming up to rub at his chest, fingers brushing against the stitches in his skin. "I'm trying to work on it, but…" he trails off slightly, shrugging, "it's hard. Igneel was teaching me how, but with him gone I just—" Natsu swallows. "I thought you were dead in that fight and I snapped," Natsu tells her honestly, looking into her wide eyes. "Only for a second, but I snapped." Her fingers squeeze around his. "And I can't do that," he shakes his head, leaning in a bit closer, "not with you around. Not with other people around. Not when I can't fully control it."
She's silent for a long moment, but then she nods, slow and understanding, her eyes brimming with determination. "So you work on it," she says, curling her fingers through his and taking a small step backwards, pulling him along with her, the two of them continuing on their way. "You work on it, and I'll help you," she promises.
Natsu blinks down at her in surprise, letting her pull him along. He simply nods after a long moment, unsure what to say to her.
She doesn't seem to be expecting anything, only wanting to be there to help him if he needs it. And he appreciates that, more than she'll ever know. Natsu knows she'll help him, even if he doesn't ask her to she'll always be there.
He just hopes that Lucy knows that he would do the same for her.
AN: edited 5/20/18