AN: Enjoy the chapter folks! Be sure to leave a review when you finish!
EDITED 5/23/18
Berserk
Chapter Thirty One
{i'll ask of the Berserks, you tasters of blood}
"Magi," he snaps suddenly, staring at the woman with wide, horrified eyes. If she doesn't stop soon, Lucy won't wake up. She's lost too much blood far too quickly, being bled out three times now in just as many days. Ideally, she would have had time to rest between days, but she hasn't been getting better, not really. Lucy hasn't woken up yet, and that scares him more than he'd like to admit. The venom isn't gone from her arm yet, not completely, and it's only a matter of time until something far worse happens to her.
The healer doesn't look at him, ignoring the panic in his voice, and Natsu snarls at her. A low, threatening sound tears from somewhere deep inside him, and he sees Katya flinch out of the corner of his eye, the younger girl staring at him, wide-eyed and nervous. Though used to his outbursts, she's still a bit wary of his fangs and volatile nature, friendly but always a step away. Magi also stiffens, finally turning to look at him, surprised and annoyed.
Another growl slips out, and Magi finally concedes. She hesitates for a long moment, lips pressing into a thin line, as if she wants to continue, but she must notice the desperation in his eyes, because she gives a slow nod and ceases to milk the wound, stopping the gush of blood.
Magi reaches for the long strip of cloth slowly, lips pursed as she winds it around Lucy's arm, just above the fresh slice. It's pulled tight, enough to pucker Lucy's skin, and then Magi shoves a towel into his hands, jerking her chin towards the cut. She doesn't have to tell him what she wants. She backs away and Natsu takes her place closer to Lucy's head, hovering over her reflexively.
When he presses the cloth to her arm, Lucy flinches and her blood immediately begins seeping through, making his skin slick as he puts pressure on the open wound. His big hand wraps around her upper arm as he holds the towel in place, his fingers nearly wrapping around her completely. She's so small, lying there the way she is, unmoving, swallowed by a heavy blanket and gently tucked into the makeshift bed. With his free hand, he wipes her hair away from her face, pushing the sweaty strands to the side.
Lucy sighs when he touches her, relaxing slowly, leaning into his hand. Her skin still burns beneath his fingers, but her temperature seems to have lessened, much to his immense relief. She's not burning from the inside like she was before. He was afraid it would be too much for her body to handle, afraid she would boil herself alive. Natsu strokes her cheek as he puts pressure on the wound, uncaring of the blood sticking to his hands and bare chest.
Slowly, her breathing evens out, Natsu relaxing slightly as the tension leaves her face, Lucy falling into what must be a more restful sleep. She's been fitful lately, her expression pinched, pained when she sleeps. He thinks she's having nightmares, can tell by the way her breathing quickens and how she thrashes slightly, much like she did the first time she was bled.
He told her he would help her the next time she had a nightmare, but there's nothing he can do about this, nothing but watch and hope that she'll be okay.
After a moment, he's gently pushed away by Magi, the old woman nudging him aside so that she can clean Lucy's arm, a wet cloth in her hand. She sends Natsu the smallest of nods, humming to herself as she runs the clean cloth down Lucy's skin, wiping away blood and the thick puss that came from the festered wound.
He doesn't watch as Magi and Katya wrap the cut, more focused on Lucy's steady breaths, ignoring everything but the slow rise and fall of her chest, and the flutter of her eyelashes. Pure relief sweeps through him, Natsu sighing when he sees her breathing smooth out, steadier, less like she may stop at any moment.
At some point, he's shoved into a chair by Katya, the girl smiling at him as flits by, running to check on something in the back of the shop, Magi disappearing somewhere to clean up, murmuring something about how disgusting the blood is as she grabs the bucket filled with Lucy's blood, taking it out of sight. The smell lingers, tickling his nose and making him itch all over.
The compulsion magic calls to him, much like the collar used to, whispering in his ear like a snake and telling him what it wanted him to do. It was always mind-numbing, forcibly taking over, Natsu unable to do anything. In a way, it was like dreaming, he couldn't remember anything when he woke up, nothing but flashes. The pain is what he remembers most, how much it hurt to have it moving around in his head. He can't believe that Lucy had it in her blood, swimming around there beneath her skin.
He shakes his head, snarling to himself. Natsu's nails bite into his palm, nearly drawing blood before he catches himself. He uncurls his fists, nails carving deep indents in his flesh, the crescents smoothing slowly. Releasing a shaky breath, Natsu glances down at Lucy, leaning in close so that he can better look at her, shoulders losing their tension slowly.
Gently, he takes her hand in his, coiling his fingers through hers once again, letting out a soft sound when her fingers squeeze around hers in her sleep, Lucy clinging to him gently, squeezing around his every few seconds. He can feel her heartbeat through her skin, her pulse weak beneath his hand, but growing stronger with every beat. Her veins still swirl black beneath her skin, Magi only able to bleed out so much, in fear of Lucy losing too much.
His thumb strokes across the back of her hand, Natsu exhaling through his nose, the sound shaky. Panic catches up with him, his breaths coming in gasps for a moment before he squeezes his eyes shut. The last few days have been trying. He barely sleeps anymore, so terrified that if he leaves her side something could go wrong. He knows it isn't healthy, and he knows that Lucy would want him to take better care of himself, but he just can't bring himself to leave her alone again.
He wonders what might have happened at the tavern, had he not shown up when he did. Lucy would have been completely fine on her own, he knows, but when she collapsed the way she did—they could have taken her, they would have taken her, given the opportunity.
Natsu glances down at the blood staining his fingers, lips curving back in a snarl. His hands curl into fists, his jaw clenching as he bares his teeth.
The smell of blood hit him hard, Natsu reeling back in shock as Magi sliced through the skin of Lucy's arm, the unconscious girl jolting awake and screaming, thrashing violently at the sudden pain. Lucy sobbed, trying to scramble away, but Natsu held her before she could move, pressing her arms against her sides as she arched off the table, clawing at him. She caught him across the cheek, drawing two thin lines of blood, but Natsu hardly noticed, gaze locked on the absolute horror in her eyes, pupils blow wide. He almost let her go when her gaze locked with his, terror reflecting in her honey eyes. It felt like a physical blow more than anything else, Natsu feeling his throat well with something bitter when he saw how scared she was—scared of him.
He almost let go, but then he saw the blackness oozing from the cut on her arm, thick and dark, a sludge more than anything else. It dripped down her skin, making loud, wet splats as if fell into the bucket on the floor beside the table. Natsu understood what was happening immediately, his skin crawling with the thought of it.
His shoulders tensed and Natsu grit his teeth, biting his cheek hard enough to draw blood when he saw Lucy's eyes roll back in her head. She went limp beneath him, eyes slipping shut and he didn't need Magi to speak to know she'd gone into some kind of shock, the pain too much for her to handle. He didn't know how awful it must have felt, but for her to lose consciousness over it, Natsu knew it must be worse than anything she'd faced before.
Natsu had never seen her react like that to anything, and he never wanted to again.
Blood dripped onto his skin, the sludge slipping down her arm and sliding along his fingers. He nearly ripped away from her, lips curling back at the cool, wet feeling. The smell was enough to make him gag, the scent of decay stronger than it ever had been before. It burned at his lungs, Natsu holding his breath to avoid the sickly smell. He could practically taste it. Something sour coated his tongue, like over-ripe fruit left out in the sun for too long. Lucy smelled like she was dying.
A low whine pulled from his throat, too quiet for anyone else to hear. Natsu's fingers squeezed around her arms gently, thumbs brushing along her skin in time with her heartbeat, slow and steady, hoping she knew that he there with her. He wouldn't leave her, not if he could help it.
Her blood slinked between his long fingers, oozing between them and making his hands slick with it. It didn't feel like blood, too cold and too sticky—viscous, almost like honey. It was thick and dark and he couldn't believe it had been in her arm for so long without him noticing. He should have been able to tell, should have known—should have done something.
Magi and Katya ignored him and his racing thoughts as they flittered around the room, Katya dashing around for supplies, and Magi standing firm beside him, milking the blood from Lucy's arm and forcing out more of the venom. She didn't snap at him, didn't tell him to leave, and for that he was grateful. He wasn't going anywhere; he would rather be back in Pergrande than leave her side at that moment.
Natsu's grip on her arms slackened, fingers sliding up until he was barely brushing against the scars on her shoulder. Lucy flinched, expressing twisting and sweat building on her brow, a fever wracking her body. A moment later, he released her entirely, brow furrowing as he glanced down at his skin. His hands came away wet, her blood sticking to his skin, and when he spread his fingers the sludge made a thin webbing between them, thick and disgusting.
Lucy jolted again, soft, pained sounds spilling from her lips, each one making Natsu flinch as if struck. His hands began to shake, fingers clenching into tight fists as he stared down at her. His skin grew paler with each little cry she made, stomach twisting sickly when he saw tears trailing down her cheeks, thin streaks catching the light just enough for him to notice.
He hated seeing her cry, hated that she was in pain and there was nothing he could do for her. There was nothing that could make it better, not without first making it worse. And he only had himself to blame for that. He should have noticed.
Magi pressed down harder on Lucy's arm, murmuring something he couldn't make out, and Natsu squeezed Lucy's fingers once more, her own hand curled around his, viselike. Even in her sleep, she was still as strong as strong as ever, fierce but also kind.
There was a sick splat as the venom gushed from her arm, dripping wetly into the bucket, each patter loud in Natsu's ears. He bit his cheek harder with each drip, tasting bile and blood in his mouth. His lungs screamed for air, Natsu unable to simply breathe.
He swallowed down the lump building in his throat, eyes squeezing shut for only a moment as he took a long, shaky breath, lips parting slightly. The taste on his tongue made him sick, but he bit back a reaction, knowing the situation wasn't about him. There were more important things than his sensitive stomach.
Natsu's eyes locked on the curve of Lucy's jaw, staring at her soft, sweaty skin and focusing on the details of her face, anything to block out the smell and the guilt eating away at him. He forced it back, needing to be strong for her, like she was for him. She was his rock when he needed her all those days ago, and he promised he would be there for her when she needed him.
Fingers lacing with hers, Natsu dragged his thumb across her knuckles, drawing absentminded shapes against her smooth skin.
They stayed that way for a long time, Natsu simply holding her as the pair of healers whispered to each other, Magi barking out orders and Katya hurrying to get supplies: bandages and a long, thin piece of cloth dumped beside Lucy's head, a towel shoved into Natsu's free hand as he refused to release her.
Lucy's skin grew paler than usual, losing all color and she began to shiver, breaths shallow and shaky, as if she was struggling to take in air. She'd lost too much blood too quickly, her body unable to handle it. She was beginning to die, he realized, breath catching and his chest going cold with fear.
Natsu glanced nervously at Magi, forcibly ripping his gaze away from Lucy and instead locking eyes with the older woman. She looked away from him immediately, focusing on Lucy's bloody skin, forcing more of the sludge from her arm.
It splattered into the bucket, and Natsu's stomach twisted when he saw how full it was, how much blood Lucy had truly lost.
He'd seen blood before. Lots of blood. He'd seen it splattered across the ground, seen it coating bodies and dripping down people in rivers. He'd always been truly amazed by just how much blood a person could lose before succumbing to the inevitable, how much the body can endure before shutting down completely.
Lucy's heart stuttered in response to his thoughts, weak beating slipping into silence.
Katya plops into the chair on the opposite side of Lucy, blinking back at him when he raises his eyes to look at her. There's a drown on her lips, her brow furrowed as she stares, much to Natsu's confusion. The young girl crosses her arms, humming to herself, and Natsu glances between her and Lucy, squeezing his friend's hand with his own before looking back at Katya, waiting for her to speak.
He hasn't felt much like talking lately, too exhausted with the events of the last two months to even think. Besides, he doesn't know what to say, not with Lucy the only thing on his mind.
She purses her lips, squinting at him. "So you were a king's guard," she states more than asks, leaning forward slightly, excitement dancing in her eyes. Magi stiffens, looking at Katya, horrified by the question, but the girl ignores her, watching Natsu expectantly. She doesn't look accusing, only curious, but it unsettles him nonetheless.
Natsu swallows thickly, peeling his eyes away from Katya and instead looking down at Lucy, tracing a finger across her palm as he worries his lip. She breathes evenly and Natsu allows his gaze to trail up her arm, coming to rest on the small scars on her shoulder. A heaviness falls over him and he sighs, squeezing her fingers gently. "I was," he tells Katya, voice thick. He doesn't look up at her, letting his eyes rake over Lucy's frame, watching to make sure everything's okay.
Nodding, Katya uncrosses her arms, propping her chin up with her hands, blinking at him curiously, expression pensive as she glances between him and Lucy. "How did you end up all the way in Bosco?" It's only a casual question, but it makes him flinch, his fingers squeezing around Lucy too tight for only a moment before he catches himself, releasing her entirely.
Magi inhales sharply, sending Katya a horrified look, blue eyes wide. "Katya!" she snaps at her apprentice, making the girl shrink back in surprise. She stalks over to them, glaring. "It's impolite to—"
"It's fine," Natsu cuts her off, giving a weak smile that doesn't begin to reach his eyes. He gives a tired sigh, shoulders drooping as he turns back to Lucy. "It's not—" He pauses, gritting his teeth as he winces, unsure what to say. That they've been running? That he has nowhere else to go? Natsu shakes his head, sighing. "It's a long story," he says simply, shrugging. He doesn't think it'll pacify the curious girl, but he doesn't know what else to say.
Lucy's always been the better one with words, but Lucy isn't here right now, not really.
Katya shrugs, grinning. "We have time," she tells him, persistent. It drags a small laugh from him, Natsu shaking his head in amusement, and Katya's grin widens, clearly self-impressed. He wonders if she's trying to cheer him up, and the thought makes him smile.
He wets his lips, deciding to tell them some of what happened, if only to keep the room from feeling so empty. Natsu doesn't mind the quiet, but he's so used to hearing Lucy's chatter that the quiet unnerves him slightly. He doesn't like not hearing her voice for so long, not when she's so close and obviously in pain. "Lucy stole something from the king," he explains. "I was sent to find her."
Katya gasps, eyes going wide. She slaps her hands over her mouth, long hair whipping around her as she shakes her head in disbelief. "She stole from him?" Katya repeats, looking down at Lucy in awe. "Wow! That's—"
"Katya," Magi hisses sternly, a disapproving lilt to her voice. She shakes her head down at the younger girl, clearly unimpressed, though Natsu doesn't know what with.
He ignored the woman, deciding to humor the girl, much like how he thinks Lucy would. "Yeah," he tells Katya, glancing down at Lucy's face. She looks calmer than before, though her expression is slightly pinched. He wets his lips, reaching out to smooth back her hair, letting his fingers linger against her cheek for a moment. "She's something isn't she?" he murmurs, more to himself than Katya. "We fought at first, but…" Natsu shakes his head. "We've been trying to make it to Fiore ever since."
She nods in response, glancing between Natsu and Lucy for a moment before her eyes alight with understanding. "Will you tell me about it?" It comes out softer than before, more timid and shy, as if Katya thinks she might be pushing a boundary that shouldn't be crossed.
Natsu only smiles, nodding. "Sure," he promises, allowing his fingers to curl through Lucy's once more. The feel of her pulse relaxes him, reminds him that she's still alive, that's getting better, if only a little.
And he does. Natsu tells Katya everything he can remember, only leaving out certain things he thinks might scare the girl, like their fight with the rogues and what happened in Jorah. He merely glosses over them, not wanting to talk about everything that's happened to them in so little time. Katya asks about the fights and he shows her his scars, Magi briefly commenting that Lucy did well, despite having no formal training, and Natsu feels his own pride swell for his friend. They ask him about traveling through Mithriel, and Natsu tells them stories about Lucy getting stuck in the snow, much to Katya's amusement.
He tells Katya how strong Lucy is, pointing to the scar forming on his chest from where she stabbed him during their fight, recounting how fierce she is in the face of danger, how she doesn't shy away from anything. He tells them how smart she is, and how much she cares about everyone around her, how she didn't turn him away despite the fact that he hurt her once. She's forgiving, but only to a point, somehow knowing who deserves it and who doesn't.
Katya asks him is he thinks Lucy is pretty, and he doesn't have the heart to deny it. She's always been pretty to him, with her wind swept hair and warm eyes that turn gold in the firelight. He'd be a fool not to see it. Besides, he's always liked the color gold, how it glints in the light. Lucy reminds him of it, with her hair and her eyes, as if she was spun from it.
"Unsurprising," Magi murmurs once he's finished telling them how it's like they simply connected, even though they probably shouldn't have. It was easy, how well they came together. He would call it fate if he believed in it. He thinks Lucy might, but fate has never meant anything to him, nothing but a pretty word.
His eyes narrow as he looks at her, frowning. "What?" he asks the woman, head cocking to one side. She stares at him for a long moment then sighs and rolls her eyes, as if it's something he should already know the answer to. For a moment, he thinks she won't answer him, but then she crosses her arms and purses her lips, pressing the back of her hand to Lucy's forehead to check her temperature.
"We stick together, you know," is all she says, not sparing him a glance as she slowly prods at Lucy's arm, making sure the bleeding has stopped. The bandage on Lucy's arm is stained red and black, the color slowly returning to normal. Once satisfied, Magi finally looks up at him pointedly, eyes expectant.
His confusion only deepens. "Who?" He glances down at Lucy's fingers tangled with his, unsure what exactly the old healer means. She doesn't respond and Natsu grows impatient. "Who sticks together?" he repeats himself, eyes narrowing in frustration. He's tired of not knowing things.
Sighing, Magi crooks a finger at him. "Berserks," she shifts her finger, pointing to Lucy, "Fae." Magi sighs, looking more tired than Natsu has ever seen her in the few days they've known each other. There's something like defeat in her eyes, something dead, like a light has gone out inside her. "We only have each other in this cruel world," she tells him. "We've each been persecuted, slaughtered for sport." She spits out the words like they're poison, hard eyes locking with his. "Pergrande destroyed us both."
Katya looks between them nervously, biting her lower lip, and Natsu sighs.
"It's not the same," he murmurs back, brushing his thumb against the back of Lucy's hand. Pergrande did destroy them, but in very different ways. The Fae were slaughtered, their magic drained, possibly by the weapon Lucy told him of weeks ago. The Berserks were enslaved, forced to fight.
He doesn't know which of them received the better hand.
Magi hums lowly. "No," she agrees, "it's not, but we've always had ways of finding each other, even in the most unlikely of ways." He knows she's right. She's the second Faeborne he's met in such a short amount of time. It's like they seek each other out, somehow unconsciously finding each other.
Her words register in his mind, Natsu's brow furrowing. He looks away from Magi and glances at Lucy, expression softening when he notices her relaxed expression, her breathing steadier than before. "You knew a Berserk." They both know it isn't a question. Natsu keeps his eyes on Lucy, leaving the woman to her thoughts.
It takes a long moment for her to respond, Magi heaving a tired sigh. She curls in on herself briefly, making herself small, and her gaze is far away, looking but not seeing. Her mouth curves into a sad smile and she stares wistfully at the far wall in the room. "I married one," she confesses.
Natsu stiffens, eyes widening slightly, but he doesn't look at her, keeping his eyes on Lucy. Katya stares wide-eyed at her mentor, lips parted slightly, clearly not being privy to that information. Natsu shakes his head slowly, swallowing down the lump in his throat. He wants to ask, but doesn't know if it would be impolite. Usually, he wouldn't care, but this woman has helped him and Lucy more than he could ever repay her for. He doesn't want to risk hurting her like that.
Several minutes pass before Natsu wets his lips, the silence eating away at him. "What happened to them?" he finally asks, daring to glance at Magi.
Lips curving back in a snarl, Magi slowly turns to look at him, a storm brewing in her eyes, turning near silver to something darker, more violent. "Domus Centari happened," she spits, growling the name like it's a curse. She shakes her head sadly, shoulders drooping in defeat. "We were expecting our third child when soldiers stormed into our home." Katya gasps and Natsu winces, unable to imagine how painful that would be. "We lived closer to the Mithriel border then, thinking the king wouldn't dare send soldiers across the icelands." A bitter smile curls across her lips. "We were wrong, of course. The king never did like to lose his toys, lest of all the unbreakable ones."
Magi sighs. "Fehru was unprepared," she continues after a long moment, stroking Katya's hair gently, speaking more to herself than either of them. "We both were. It had been years since we ran from Pergrande. Nearly a decade." Katya reaches up, linking her fingers through Magi's and sending the woman a small, sad smile, which Magi returns. Natsu stares down at his hands. "But he still came. They didn't bother to bring him back with them, just slaughtered him where he stood. Shoved a blade through his heart. It was over before it began." Her voice dips into a whisper at the end, Natsu straining to hear her.
"I'm sorry," he tells her, voice thick, and he winces when he thinks about it. He understands, in a way. He knows what it's like to lose someone, they all do, but to have someone you love ripped away so suddenly? After years of thinking they were safe? Natsu thinks that would be enough to break a person.
He glances down at Lucy, squeezing her fingers gently.
"My advice," Magi starts softly, locking eyes with him, "young Berserk." She purses her lips, briefly glancing down at Lucy. "Don't stop running, not ever." Her expression turns cold, her teeth grinding together. "Because he won't stop chasing. You either keep running, or you be prepared to fight," she tells him.
Slowly, Natsu nods, tearing his eyes away from Magi. He wets his lips, staring at his hands as he hears Magi and Katya stand. The younger girl places a hand on his shoulder as she passes, giving him a gentle squeeze, but Natsu doesn't look up, instead mulling over what Magi told him.
His hands curl into fists, his nails digging into his palms as a low growl spills from his throat, his lips curving back in a snarl. Sighing, he turns back to Lucy, tangling their fingers together gently.
He's tired of running.
AN: As previously stated, I should be catching up with the rewrite by around this time next week, so new chapters will be starting soon.
Glossary of Gods/Terms/Creatures:
Djehl: Fire God from the northlands that granted the Berserks their strength/inner fire. His battle axe is called Bran.
Djerda: Goddess of night and the mother of Djehl.
Estra: Sister of Djehl and Daughter of Djerda. Goddess of the Stars. pulled the stars from the sky and gave them life, proving her devotion to Ieyar, a chaos god, and creating the Fae, their magic gifted to them by Ieyar.
Ieyar: God of Chaos. Gifted the Fae their magic after Estra pulled the stars from the sky for him.
Ashtacar: Berserker word meaning "safe travels." Traditionally used between friends and family, it has since become a way to honor the dead, granting them "safe travels" on their way to the next life.
Ulfræder: Berserk word for "blood traitor." It's a relatively heavy insult. Being a "blood traitor" is an unforgivable act.
Descæter: Berserk word for "deserter." Follows the same vein of Ulfræder, but is less insulting. Blood traitors abandon their homes and families, white a deserter abandons their post/army position.
Velsigna av Branna: Berserk word for "blessed by fire." As Vesigna means "to bless." "Branna" comes from "Bran (Braun)" an old word for fire, and the name of the God Djehl's battle axe.
Velsigna av Strakaz: "Blessed by Stars" From "Estra," a Berserk Goddess of the night sky, daughter of Djerda, Goddess of night, and sister to Djehl. Term for Faeborne and a reference to their scent.
Ellyra [El-eye-rah]: Formal name of the fairy trees. Rumored to house the souls of slain Fae within their trunks. The trees are semi-sentient, and can speak, though only to those who they want to hear. The trees are tall, with pale colored bark (white, to a light grey as the trees grow old) and red leaves. The trees bleed red sap, and in the Northlands they are commonly called Azgetta meaning "the bleeding" or alternatively "the weeping."