AN: Here we are! Back with Arc Two! Hurray! Be sure leave a review and tell me your thoughts on the chapters! I love to know what you all think! Enjoy!
Berserk
Arc Two: Chapter Two
{those intrepid heroes; those who wade out into battle}
The words keep repeating in his head. A war. Just another damn war. It's always a war. That's all the Berserks are good for anymore. Fighting. Killing. Giving in to the beasts. It's always another fight. The shouting drifts into background noise, his ears ringing sharply as the voices rise in pitch. Lucy shouts something, but the words are lost to him, drowned by the pounding of his pulse. The accusations strike him, Natsu unable to peel his eyes from the four small, silver scars on Lucy's arm and the scabbed line beneath it.
The sight knocks the breath straight from his lungs, a wheezing gasp ripping from his chest. Something tight curls around his throat, squeezing, and for a moment his mind blanks.
Cool metal wraps around his neck, growing hot to the touch as it presses tight to his skin. The gold glows, searing his flesh, and Natsu flinches as he feels the sharp sting of something pressing against his temple. It worms through his mind, curling in the darkest corners of his thoughts, smothering his conscious. The pain grows, his head pounding and a strangle sound leaves him as he squeezes his eyes shut. Something inside his mind tears, an arc of pain shooting down his spine.
He twitches, jerking oddly, and Natsu bites his lip to keep from screaming at the phantom sensation around his throat. Tears burn at his eyes, but he holds them back. Natsu's nails dig into his palms and his teeth grind together audibly, but no one turns his way.
A familiar voice breathes against his ear, telling him to kill, to fight. Whispers of war tickle at his senses, the blood in his veins boiling as his expression goes blank. Darkness begins to swallow his thoughts, vague wisps of conversation flickering through the haze.
With a gasp it all disappears. The burning at his throat is gone, never there to begin with, and his tunnel vision expands, Natsu's gaze snapping around the unfamiliar room as he regains his bearings. He isn't in Pergrande anymore. He's in Fiore, with Lucy.
He isn't a soldier—a weapon—anymore.
For a moment the thought is enough to calm him, but then snippets of Lucy and Laxus' argument comes back to him. She knew. The entire time they were together she knew, and she never told him. The sting of betrayal is foreign to him. Something in his chest squeezes painfully, and he grits his teeth to avoid making a sound, not wanting to draw anymore attention to himself.
His eyes snap open a moment before Lucy looks at him, expression wary. Her mouth forms his name, lips trembling, and Natsu is lost in the gold of her eyes. For the first time since they've met he can't stand the color.
Eyes ripping from hers, Natsu turns away without a word, finally snapping.
Natsu doesn't think as he slams the door shut behind him. The wood bangs loudly, the house quivering with the force behind it, and Natsu winces, fearing something might crack beneath his touch. The thought it shoved from his mind, buried somewhere deep, and he releases a heavy exhale, nostrils flaring.
He didn't hesitate once as he stormed from the room or stop to consider the hurt he saw in Lucy's eyes—the panic. He had to get out of that house before he did something he would regret. Not for the first time he curses his lack of control,
Panting slightly, Natsu grits his teeth in a poor attempt to steady his breathing, his skin crawling sickly as something claws to the surface. A growl rumbles in his chest, his lips curving back over his teeth threateningly, and Natsu shakes himself, trying to shove down the anger and hurt building in his stomach.
There's an explanation for it all, there has to be, but he can't stay in that house, not without breaking something. Natsu's hands curl into tight fists and his teeth grind together slowly as he stalks away from the stone building. Any warmth he felt from the building is gone now, a layer of ice curling through his veins and coiling around his heart. Something in his chest squeezes, knocking the breath from him. He ignores it, shaking off the betrayal stinging at his skin.
Natsu pauses at the cobblestone road. One glance towards town and he shakes his head. He can't go there, not alone. Natsu doesn't know much about Magnolia or how they treat outsiders, but he doesn't want to find out while he's alone and volatile. At best he'd be lucky to leave with his life.
A lot has changed in the ten years he's been cone from Fiore, but some things never change. The Domus Flau is still active in Crocus, but he hadn't thought to ask Lucy about the rest of the country. He doubts the Berserks are treated any better than they were in Bosco, but at least he was allowed to walk the streets then.
His gaze latches onto the Cathedral, High towers and stained glass glittering in the light. Natsu stares for a long moment, feet stuck in place as he watches the licker of color glinting off the tall, bone-white walls of the towering building. The bell tolls overhead, sending a scattering of dark birds into the sky, the flock startled, though they continue to come back. Clear and loud, the bell is the sweetest sound he's ever heard beside Lucy's laugh.
Natsu's skin prickles at the thought, but he watches the bell tower for another moment, until the chiming trickles into nothingness and the birds swarm back to their roost, always returning to where they belong.
Ripping his gaze from the sight, Natsu winces, shaking his head to rid himself of his thoughts, and turns away from town, a bitterness weaving into his bones as he turns towards the forest. Dark and looming, he doesn't hesitate to slip through the trees, letting them swallow him entirely as he runs.
He pays little attention to where he goes, the trees blurring around him as he weaves between them, uncaring as he loses himself among them. For a moment he's reminded that he doesn't know how to get back, the area unfamiliar to him, but it shoves the thought aside, assuring himself he can get back.
Lucy's scent is burned into his mind. He could find his way back to her through anything is he wanted. He's tracked her twice, once before he even knew her, and the smell of honey and stardust will cling to him for years. Natsu inhales sharply, her taste familiar in his mouth as it tickles the back of his throat, soothing.
Shaking his head, Natsu sighs, pace slowing as he winds through the trees, thoughts drifting. The forest isn't quiet like it was in Pergrande, hollow and dead in some ways. Birds chirp above him, small animals skittering across the ground, near silent save for his sharp ears. From the corner of his eye, Natsu spots something large and dark, ambling without a care.
His head snaps up, eyes locking on the slow moving figure. The Demigor blinks back at him, almost docile, and Natsu's breath catches as he watches it move. It's taller than a bear, stocky and slow moving, sluggish. The creature eyes him warily for a moment before deciding he's no threat. Several spines on its back flex, long quills rattling together noisily. Yawning, it reveals rows of sharp teeth, wicked fangs flashing in the light spilling between the leaves.
Lucy compared Laxus to one once, calling him prickly and grinning at him, and Natsu snorts in agreement.
The sounds of the forest lull him slightly, though only for a moment before the gravity of the situation comes back to him, knocking the breath from his lungs. Cold fingers wrap around his heart and squeeze, dragging a low whine from him, and Natsu's eyes slam shut, his teeth grinding together as he fights to ignore the pounding in his head. The beast hiding beneath his rib cage stirs awake, his rage spilling through the cracks in his resolve. Natsu's nails dig into his palms, drawing blood, and his fists tremble at his sides.
Blood leaks from the fresh cuts on his palms, sliding along his skin slowly. A dull throb comes from the small wounds, but the feeling is masked by the rush of heat that burns through his veins. Natsu's temper flares, rising to an uncontrollable level as a red haze clouds his vision. He's gotten better at controlling the bloodlust. Natsu hasn't lost control of himself since meeting Lucy, but something inside his aches to be let go.
Years of being forced into a cage—of being turned into a monster and a weapon flood back to him. A decade of hatred and rage boils beneath his skin, Natsu unable to simply breathe as he recalls the rings, the damp cages he's been forced into for much of his life, his mother selling him despite knowing what would happen.
He wants to fight—wants to lose control and rip something to pieces. He tries to shake the thought away, knowing it isn't really him, but the haze persists, the creature long kept buried in his chest clawing through flesh and bone to reach the surface. Rage floods through Natsu, washing away the unease clawing at his heart and replacing it with something much more violent. The beast squirms in his chest, fighting to be released. Natsu's iron will slips, control faltering for a moment and that's all it takes.
Something inside of him snaps and he screams as he whips around, driving his fist into the nearest tree. A crack splits the air, the wood splintering beneath his touch. He doesn't feel the wood shards digging into his skin or smell the blood coating his fingers. His surroundings blur, the forest going silent as he swings a second fist towards the same tree.
A flock of crows shoot into the air from a neighboring tree as Natsu roars, a sound more animal than man ripping from his throat. The Demigor startles, dashing off into the trees in terror, and Natsu throws a third punch towards the quivering tree. Something snaps, bone or bark he doesn't care.
Natsu spends some time beating the tree, the sun slipping high into the sky and the forest going dark and silent. The light casts mottled shadows across the ground as the anger bleeds from him, slipping between his fingers like water.
He stumbles slightly, the red haze leaving his vision, his head clearing. Natsu presses a hand to the ruined bark, trembling, and winces at the splinters pressing into his calloused palms. Chest heaving, he shakes himself, falling boneless against the tree he's mangled. Natsu gasps for breath, forehead dropping to rest against the rough bark of the tree, his heart pounding from the adrenalin rushing through him.
Hands shaking, Natsu sighs, a soft sound of distress pulling from his throat. He bites his lip until it bleeds, taking breathes to calm himself. A sickness curls through his stomach, like a pit, and he groans. Letting go is supposed to help, keeping it contained for too long is dangerous, but Natsu only feels worse.
It's only been making him feel worse. With the collar on he couldn't feel anything, couldn't see the fear he sparked in peoples eyes or remember their screams. He couldn't feel anything. Now, Natsu remembers it all: how easily the tree splintered beneath his touch, how the forest went quiet and dark.
He doesn't know which is worse, just that both leave him feeling drained and sick.
Slowly, he peels himself away from the tree, breathing steadily through his nose and trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart. Weary, Natsu lowers his head, gazing at the leaves strewn across the slick ground beneath him, the smell of rain thick in the air. Standing on unsteady legs, Natsu shakes himself, ambling forward absentmindedly.
Natsu doesn't know how to feel, being back in Fiore. Along with the good memories come bad ones. His time in the capital was tame compared to what he faced in Pergrande. He had friends in Crocus, Igneel and several of the younger Berserks, none quite as young as him at the time. They were an odd family, of sorts, but it was the closest he's ever had to one.
He doesn't remember his father, the only image that comes to mind when he thinks of the man is Igneel. The older Berserk is the only father he's ever needed. And Natsu finds a bitter taste left in his mouth whenever he thinks of his mouth, her weary eyes and the gold pieces in her hands as she sold him to slave traders from Bosco.
Sneering, he shakes his head. Natsu doesn't care for her reasons, though he knows there must have been one. They're nothing more than excuses to him. What his family did was unforgivable. He's spent near two decades being forced to do things, fighting, killing, anything others wanted from him, and he's grown sick of it.
Fiore is still a cruel place to him. Natsu wasn't expecting a warm welcome from Lucy's family, but somehow he expected something different. Lucy was so accepting of him despite what he did. She may not have been friendly at first, but she warmed to him easily enough. Her cousin's hostility surprised him, though he understands.
He can't blame them for being afraid, not when he scares himself at times.
Natsu stumbles over a branch, catching himself before he can fall, and curses under his breath, drained, but unable to shove down the rage still prickling at his skin, flaring as he dredges up old memories. He knows his thoughts aren't helping him, the red haze threatening to overtake him for a second time today, but he's too exhausted to shove it back.
The silence of the woods unnerves him, the hair on the back of his neck standing up. Ignoring the feeling, Natsu presses on, allowing his thoughts to consume him as he sinks further and further into the haze surrounding him. He wants to break something. He wants to scream and shatter bone and allow the monster inside of him to claw its way out of his chest.
It would be easier, to just let go, but he never has been one to give up. And certainly not now. He could have given up when he was young, trapped in the cages in Crocus with strangers jeering at him and violence curling though the air he breathed. And he could have given up after years of serving Pergrande. Yet here he is now.
A stick snaps beneath his boots, leaves crackling, and Natsu's pace quickens as he absentmindedly weaves through the towering trees. A skittering sound reaches him, a mouse or other small animal darting through the tall grass and there's a flutter of wings above him, the birds settling once more, his outburst forgotten.
Natsu's teeth grind together, temper quelled for the moment. His knuckles sting, bones throbbing from the force of his hits, and he winces when his fingers flex, joints stiff. Looking down at the blood crusting his hands, Natsu flinches, upset with himself for losing control the way he did. If anyone had still been around—
He cringes at the thought, knowing someone could have easily gotten hurt.
That's the last thing he wants to do, but Natsu can't keep shoving aside the anger bubbling inside of him. He's kept it locked away for years, having no proper release for all the rage and hatred. It amazes him that he's been able to keep it from spilling over for so long, but Laxus' words seemed to snap something inside of him.
They're starting a war.
His stomach twists violently, his lips curving back over his teeth as he snarls. He won't be anyone's weapon, not again. He won't be forced to hurt and kill anymore. Natsu refuses to have his body be used for something like that again, not after what he did to Lucy or any of the other innocent people he's hurt in the past.
Natsu won't be a tool anymore, something to be used.
"My advice," a voice whispers in his mind, low and familiar, and Natsu stills. The phantom sensation of a hand on his arm makes him pause, jaw clenching tightly as he recalls the words circling in his mind. It's been days since he thought of them, too caught up in Lucy's awakening and his nerves about entering Fiore, meeting her family. He'd nearly forgotten the conversation he had in Bosco, the words becoming lost in his jumbled thoughts.
Magi's words come back to him in a rush, her warning branded into his mind. Her husband was murdered by the Pergrande king for existing, for running away and making a life for himself. Magi didn't say it, but Natsu knows their children were likely killed as well for the blood running through them, as diluted as it may have been. Or perhaps the king took them instead. A life for a life. He could bend them to his will if they were young enough.
Natsu doesn't know which fate would be crueler, but he can only pray the Old Gods were kind to them, even in death.
He has a choice to make, but few good options. Natsu is finding that there rarely are decent options, only ones that hurt less than others. If he runs, he'll never be able to stop, always looking over his shoulder, paranoid that something is coming for him. It won't be a life worth living, constantly afraid for himself and the people around him. Domus Centari will never stop chasing him, not so long as Natsu can still be found.
The king of Pergrande has always been a cruel man, taking sick pleasure in destroying others from the inside out. He toys with people for no other reason than enjoyment and its never made Natsu anything short of sick. He's seen people ripped apart and strewn across the ground, he's been forced to fight men and Berserks alike, every movement followed by an amused gaze.
Natsu shakes himself, footsteps slowing as wanders into a small clearing. A frown pulls at his lips, his gaze flitting around the open space, few trees growing in the area, those he can see smaller than those deeper in the forest, spread farther apart. Confusion sweeps through him as he observes the vacant copse in the middle of the woods, the grass tall and bushes and vines curling across the grass. He finds it odd for a moment, noting a stream winding through the grassy space, but stills when he sees the large tree centered in the thicket.
An Ellyra stands tall, towering over the surrounding space and basking in the light. The branches curl overhead, long and winding, dotted with a spattering of garnet leaves, vibrant against the stark bone-white of the trunk and branches. It's much larger than those he and Lucy saw in Pergrande, the trunk thicker and the branches stretching further across the space. Gnarled roots protrude from the earth, twisted and knocking together where the tree rests beside a small pool of water.
He finds himself drawn to the Fairy tree, a whisper in his head beckoning him forward as the aged tree calls to him. He hasn't heard their voices in some time, the trees sparse in Mithriel. The branches sway in time with a phantom breeze, a voice reaching his ears, though Natsu can't make out the words.
A half-formed plea is hissed from the tree—his name, and Natsu startles, sure he's just heard Lucy's voice. He shakes himself, the tree speaking garbled nonsense and nothing more, and takes a breath to steady his erratic heartbeat.
Wetting his lips, he decides to ignore the voice, even as it continues to whisper to him in a voice chillingly reminiscent as someone he loves. Something twists in his chest the longer the voice speaks, Natsu aware of the legends surrounding the Ellyra, how they house the souls of dead Fae and speak with their voices.
It's unsettling, hearing it speak to him in Lucy's voice, but try as he might, he can't ignore it, catching snippets of conversations not meant for him. A soft humming sound reaches his ears as the tree begins to sing, soft and breathy, the melody similar to a song Lucy sang to him once.
Natsu wonders if she learned it here.
Slowly, he settles against the base of the tree, curled among the roots. The rough bark scrapes at his back, though he hardly feels it, content to rest against the singing tree, knowing it'll warn him of anything coming. Natsu's learned to put his faith in them, aware that they won't allow harm to come to him.
He stretches out his legs, staring into the clear pool of water absently.
Natsu doesn't know how long he sits there beneath the tree, unaware of the time passing as he stares into the forest, but the tree suddenly quiets after some time, and Natsu glances up as he hears a branch snap off to his right.
He doesn't have to look to know who it is, Lucy's scent tickling his nose.
Natsu doesn't turn as she approaches, those his eyes follow her. Lucy doesn't look at him, weary gaze locked on the Ellyra as she comes close, stopping only a few paces from him, just out of reach. For a long moment she says nothing, merely raises a hand and runs her fingers along the tree trunk, tracing a pattern in the bark.
"The Sola Tree," she tells him suddenly, and Natsu's head snaps around to look at her as Lucy leans into the arbor, sighing softly as her eyes flutter shut. Her entire body relaxes, a softness overtaking her that he never noticed before. "It's been here for generations." Her fingertips drag downward, ghosting the wood. "Makarov says it offers guidance to those who need it most. He said it speaks, but I've never heard it." Lucy laughs and Natsu's eyes widen in surprise. "I'm not surprised you found it," she continues softly. "Somehow people always find their way here. The tree calls to them."
She waits for him to speak, but when he doesn't, Lucy sighs.
He tries to speak, but the words catch in his throat when he turns to her. Something cold winds through his chest, cool fingers squeezing around his heart, and Natsu knows she isn't here to tell him stories. Lucy doesn't try to speak again, waiting for him to acknowledge her, and finally he forces himself to say something.
"Did you know?" he forces himself to ask, swallowing thickly as he turns away from her. His jaw clenches as he waits for her response. Natsu hears her shaky intake of breath, Lucy's hand stilling against the tree, her fingers curling into a tight ball. She hesitates, biting her lip, and he squeezes his eyes shut, biting his cheek to keep himself calm.
Lucy sighs, slow and melancholy and he thinks it's answer enough, but he needs to hear it from her. A bitter taste floods his mouth, Natsu hoping to the Gods it isn't true, but somehow he knows.
She turns to face him, shifting slightly, and her heartbeat quickens. "Natsu—"
"Did you know?" Natsu repeats, a sharp edge to his words. A low sound rumbles in his throat, and Natsu's eyes snap open to meet hers, watching as she winces. He stands slowly, movements stiff, and his hands shake as he turns to her. He doesn't stalk towards her, fighting the urge to come closer.
Her lips part, eyes dark and shaded by the tree. Lucy takes a deep breath, eyes rising to meet his, and Natsu is unsurprised by the guilt he sees there. His heart squeezes as he sees her standing there, the sunlight turning her hair gold and the leaves casting shadows across her face, Lucy catching the light where she stands: breathtaking. "I did," she whispers, voice carrying across the grove.
Wincing, Natsu shakes his head. Lucy watches him, waiting, and Natsu takes a step towards her, feet moving without permission. She eyes him, wary, and an ache spreads through his chest. His mouth goes dry as he comes up to her, hesitating when she's within reach. Hard eyes lock with hers, Lucy waiting for him to speak.
Natsu clears his throat, biting his cheek roughly and forcing himself not to shout. "Is that why you brought—" He cuts himself off, not wanting to say it, but the question rings clear regardless.
Lucy's eyes widen, and she jolts like she's been struck. "No!" she snaps at him, hair whipping around her face as she shakes her head. "Gods, Natsu, no," she tells him, softer this time. Lucy voice quivers, the words shaky, but they don't like a lie to him. Hurt flickers in her eyes, the accusation stinging, and Natsu almost regrets asking.
He wants to trust her, but he's been used before.
"Why didn't you tell me?" he murmurs lowly, a growl lacing his words. His fingers tighten into fists once more, muscles tensing the longer he stares at Lucy.
She pushes away from the tree, crossing the short distance between them, and reaches out for him. Her fingers still before touching him, hovering just above his skin. "I wasn't thinking," she tells him, wincing as she says it. It's a weak answer and they both know it. Lucy's fingers brush against his shoulders, her palms trembling.
Natsu's throat tightens.
She's afraid.
He steps away before she can touch him, bile rising in his throat when he sees a nervous flicker in her eyes at his jerky movements. "You weren't thinking?" he snaps without meaning to, and her gaze drops to the ground, her arms curling protectively around herself. "Lucy, how could you—"
"I was dying, Natsu," she hisses back at him, the venom in her words making him flinch. The reminder slams into his ribs, knocking the air from his lungs, and his teeth snap together harshly. "Half the time I could barely think," Lucy tells him, voice cracking. Her gaze becomes watery and he winces, guilt pooling in his gut. "And with everything that was happening, I just…" Lucy shakes her head, exhaustion marring her features.
For a moment, Natsu sees her the way she was: pale and sick with a faint heartbeat, barely breathing. He winces at the flicker, turning away, reminding himself that she's still sick, even if she's pretending she's not.
Lucy is quiet for a long moment, and Natsu sneers, twisting on his heel and stalking away.
"I wouldn't ask you to!" Lucy calls after him suddenly, making him pause. Natsu stops at the tree line, glancing back at her. She doesn't look at him, staring up the tree before her. A breeze blows by ruffling her hair gently, and Lucy's squeeze shut. "To fight," she clarifies when he stays silent. "I would never ask you to fight. Not after everything you've been through."
She reaches out slowly, dragging her fingers down the trunk of the tree. Seconds pass, and finally she turns to him, her honey gold eyes apologetic. There's no hint of a lie there, but Natsu still sighs. Staring at Lucy, her hair falling in tangles down her back and her eyes the sweetest thing he's ever seen, Natsu knows he would fight if she asked him to.
Magi told him to make a choice, but he didn't think he'd have to make it so soon. He's been tired of running from the past for years, but the fight scares him more than anything. Staying—fighting against Pergrande—would only be putting others at risk. It would put Lucy at risk, and that's the last thing he wants. She'll just keep being hurt because of him.
Magi told him to just keep running.
"Why did you ask me to stay?" he chokes out, staring across the distance between them. For the first time, looking at Lucy hurts, something inside of him begging to draw her in close to him, to never let go.
She turns slowly, the rune on her arm bright against her skin: proud. Lucy smiles, small and sad. "The same reason you said 'yes.' "
AN: Almost caught up. I'm not making edits on Arc Two unless noted at the top of the chapter. There's really not much I feel the need to change, aside from a few lines and character mentions. A completely new chapter will either be out this Saturday (June 2) or the next Saturday, as I'm restructuring the arc and trying to remember exactly what I was trying to do with it.