Shorts #1

This is a collection of shorts about the GRN Team about a few minor things which is more of a slice of life. Pyro won't make an appearance because he is in African with the YLW Soldier and Saxton Hale to brutally murder all the poachers.

Scout Tries Out Weed

Scout is in his room and is holding onto Spy's bong.

Scout: (curious) "I wonder if weed is good as they say it is. It is supposed to help you relax and is a more reliable substance than horse tranquilizer. Only one way to find out."

Scout starts breathing in the vapors from the bong before puffing out smoke.

Scout: (disgusted) "Fuck, this shit is nasty! Yet surprisingly I want more."

He breaths in more vapors and puff out smoke until his fire alarm goes off.

Scout: (troubled) "Ah shit."

Scout can hear his teammates from across the base.

Soldier: (surprised) "What the fuck is going on?!"

Spy: (surprised) "Pyro isn't here, so who started the fucking fire alarm!?"

Heavy: (shouts) "Sounds like it is coming from Scout's room!"

Everyone barges into Scout's room and see Scout being high and holding the bong.

Demoman: (surprised) "Scout, what the fuck!?"

Spy: (notices the bong) "And is that my bong!?"

Scout: (calm and high) "Oh, hey guys."

From Scout's point of view he sees rainbows, flowers, vibrant colors and everyone has a happy face with crowns of flowers on their heads.

Sniper: (angry) "Scout, what the fuck!? Why are you smoking weed at this time of day!?"

Scout's POV of Sniper: (happy) "Hey, buddy! How are you doing?!"

Scout: (high) "Oh hey, Sniper. I was just curious about weed and just wanted to know what it's like. Don't worry, I'm only gonna take it in moderation."

Medic: (upset) "He's fucking high now. I highly doubt what we're saying means anything to him."

Scout's POV of Medic: (happy) "I hope you do, Scout. Because what you breath in is magic."

Scout chuckles a little and falls on his bed. Spy examines the bongs and smells the fumes.

Spy: (realizes) "Ah shit. It's Blissful Truth."

Demoman: (upset) "What the hell is Blissful Truth?"

Spy: (normal tone) "It's a special blend I made in my spare time that involves weed mixed with compounds of laughing gas and truth serum."

Medic: (surprised) "Mein Gott! Do you realize how fucked up that is?!"

Spy: (normal tone) "It was used in interrogations to get our enemies to sing like canaries about secrets about other teams. Not just BLU, RED, and YLW, but also ORG (Ore Removal Group/Orange), PRL (Programmer Reliance League/Purple), PNK (People's Nuclear Knowledge/Pink), TEL (Telemarketer's Electrical Logistics/Teal), GLD (Global Laboratory Department/Gold) , SVR (Secure Valuable Resources/Silver), WHT (Worker's Hostile Takeover/White), BLK (Bold Logistic Kiosks/Black), GRY (Grain Rationing Yields/Gray), and BRN (Business Renovation Negotiators/Brown). I learned much about them and gained some intel about everything they have."

Scout sits up.

Scout: (high) "Hey, dad. Just so you know that I love ya no matter what you choose to believe. Demoman, you are amazing with your bombs and scrumpy is the best drink. Heavy, I wish to be like you. Strong, confident and know how to wield a big gun."

Engineer: (scared) "Oh shit. I think that truth serum is kicking in."

Scout: (high) "Engie, you are awesome with your gadgets and inventions. You're smarter than me and I have been jealous of you and Heavy for what you have. Brains and brawn. But I respect you guys for them. And Medic, I have been learning on how to speak German behind your back so I can understand what you're saying along with French. Because I respect you as well."

Medic: (happy) "Oh. That's wonderful."

Scout: (high) "And Sniper, I'm jealous that you get to use the bathroom wherever you like. Even taking a shit in the backyard."

Everyone look at Sniper with disgusted expression.

Sniper: (guilty) "What? Everyone does it every now and then."

Spy: (disgusted) "Not really."

Demoman: (disgusted) "That's disgusting."

Scout then passes out on his bed.

Soldier: (hushes everyone and whispers) "We can discuss this outside and let Scout sleep until the drugs wear-off."

Hours Later...

Scout wakes up with a headache.

Scout: (in pain) "Fuck, my beautiful head. I have no idea what was in that bong and I will not do it again. But since dad told me it was his 'special' weed compound, I should read the label of his shit more carefully. I should take things in moderation as well. Just because I want to enjoy something, doesn't mean I should abuse it."

The Four Engineers Work Together

At some point, the Engineers of RED, BLU, YLW, and GRN meet in some computer lab full of computer parts, racks full of programs, and other things. And yes, BLU Engineer is still a cyborg.

GRN Engineer: (normal tone) "Okay, since we're all here, we're gonna create our own video game that uses everyone's ideologies and a whole lot of other ideologies I discovered on the internet. But we need some good examples of how the game is played with all the workings. Anyone have any suggestions?"

BLU Engineer: (normal tone) "I suggest Hearts of Iron 4. It is a great political strategy game despite some flaws that let you focus on not just the military, but also civilian, diplomacy and more as you choose the fate of your nation based on your national focus choices. But I also recommend Stellaris if were gonna make a space game."

RED Engineer: (happy) "I've played those games. They were fun. But I would recommend the Total War series. The ones that work like Shogunate 2, the Warhammer Fantasy series, Medieval II, and Attila. Sure some of it is turned-based, but the action and seeing your troops going at each other in a warfare of epic scale is amazing. Although, if we are gonna make things a bit apocalyptic, I would recommend Surviving the Aftermath."

YLW Engineer: (grins) "I would recommend the Dawn of War II series. Instead of sitting around collecting resources, you get to send in troops into battle immediately with some beacons that you can use to call in reinforcements that can drop or teleport them anywhere on the field. But I do like some of the bonuses I get when claiming territory in Dawn of War: Dark Crusade such as increase population for troops, reduce acquisition costs, and a few other things. And I do love Stellaris as well since I got my ideology from a mod. Heck, there are many good mods out there that we can use for reference."

GRN Engineer: (happy) "I also enjoy the Civilization games. It may be based, but I love the intricacies of the series and the eras you can advance your civilization. But I do love a game called Humankind."

RED Engineer: (happy) "I've played that game! It's the one where you get to combine different civilizations as you progress in different eras. Like if you start out as the Egyptians, you can become Mayan in the next era, the Franks in Medieval, then Edo Japanese in Early Modern, Mexicans in Industrial and many more. Each of them can be militant, mercantile, agrarian, industrial or focus on being influential."

GRN Engineer: (normal tone) "Okay, we got a few ideas. Now, does anyone here know how to program video games?"

Hours Later...

The Engineers are working on making PCs for everyone to use. Actually two of them are making the PCs while the other two are working on programming.

BLU Engineer: (happy) "Good thing I have the programs on making PCs to make things easy."

YLW Engineer: (happy) "Not only that, I've also played PC Building Simulator to learn on how to make my own rig."

GRN Engineer: (angry) "Dammit! Stupid bug won't go away!"

RED Engineer: (normal tone) "Let me see."

RED Engineer checks out what the problem is.

RED Engineer: (normal tone) "Okay, I think I see what the problem is. You got that bit of code mixed up with another."

GRN Engineer: (angry) "Dammit, dammit dammit dammit!" (exhausted) "This is harder than I thought."

YLW Engineer: (agreement) "You can say that again. Good news that we're completely independent from all those major companies such as EA, Activition and Dice."

All Three: (agreement) "You're goddamn right!"

RED Engineer: (normal tone) "Not to mention that those companies exploit their workers and add more corporate shit while also sexually harassing their workers that even their bosses take part in."

BLU Engineer: (upset) "Motherfuckers."

GRN Engineer: (normal tone) "How about we call it a day and get back to this tomorrow? We don't have a time limit on making these PCs or this game but we better work diligently to ensure we get a good game instead of a mediocre."

YLW Engineer: (agreement) "Guess we can call it a day for now. I'm getting pretty hungry. Who wants Buffalo Wild Wings?"

All the Engineers cheer as they head out and get something to eat.

Heavy Plays Hearts of Iron 4

GRN Heavy is gonna try out Hearts of Iron 4 before the video game the Engineers make the game. So, he tries to make his own video about his gameplay.

Heavy: (normal tone) "Hey, everyone. Heavy here. Today we're gonna play Hearts of Iron 4 as we overthrow Stalin and put Aleksandr Kerensky and his Trudoviks in order to bring democracy and socialism to Russia. With that, we shall prevent any more fucking communism in other countries such as China with Weng Wenhao and then unite with the west to overthrow the fascist bastards."

The game turns on and shows the map of HOI4 as Heavy clicks on some national focus trees.

Heavy: (normal tone) "Today, we're gonna pick the Left Opposition national focus then follow it with Gain Support From Party Members in order to defeat Stalin. But keep in mind, I have to watch out for Stalin's paranoia since he is a mad man and a genocidal monster."

Heavy then tries to gain support in order to overthrow Stalin as he clicks on whatever he need in order to do so while waiting for the days to pass. While doing so, he send spies to sabotage any chance of fascist, communist or despotic rulers from gaining any power in China. Even though China is a despotic regime, he aims to bring democracy. As he does so, he hears someone bursting through a door in another room as he hears through the walls.

Scout: (surprised) "HOLY SHIT! DEMOMAN! KNOCK NEXT TIME!"

Demoman: (apologetic) "Sorry, Scout! Didn't mean to burst in while you were masturbating to hentai!"

Scout: (angry) "Don't you dare say anything about my interests like in those fucking Demoman fetishes videos!"

Demoman: (apologetic) "Don't worry, mate! I'm not gonna judge! Everyone needs something to alleviate themselves!"

Scout: (angry) "JUST GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Heavy: (sighs) "At least our Demoman is more understanding about out fetishes and doesn't judge. But I do judge those that are into necrophilia and gore. Disgusting. And I think Stalin was into them before he died."

The World News came up and it says the German Reich is invading Poland.

Heavy: (upset) "Damn. Looks like they're invading early this round. I have to overthrow Stalin sooner or later."

Heavy goes to his focus trees and tries to get everything researched. Then he clicks on Infiltrate the NKVD in order to attack Stalin from within. Then he waits a bit for things to progress while Germany invades Poland. While doing so, Sniper knocks on the door.

Sniper: (happy) "Oi! Are you playing Hearts of Iron 4?"

Heavy: (happy) "Da. I want to prepare for whatever video game the Engineers have in store when they finish. I'm playing as the Soviet Union while overthrowing Stalin and turn it into a democratic nation. Then, I'm gonna overthrow any Chinese communism and despotism to bring in democracy." (normal tone) "However, Germany is already invading Poland earlier than before."

Sniper: (perplexed) "Are you gonna send attaches?"

Heavy: (normal tone) "Unfortunately, I can't. Not with Stalin's paranoia and I'm having Second Russian Civil War."

Sniper: (normal tone) "Well I'm gonna play Stellaris to try out all the government mods since we're gonna be playing a wide variety of government types and ideologies. You should try them too when you're done with the vanilla game."

Heavy: (interested) "Any recommendations?"

Sniper: (normal tone) "Kaiserreich is a good mod if you want to fight or spread syndicalism. The New Order: Last Days of Europe is also good if you want to fight against a conquered Axis Europe. Old World Blues is a mod based off of the Fallout games. Millennium Dawn is also a good one that revolves around the early 2000's. Between you and me, if you play that, I suggest you overthrow Putin before 2020 before he invades Ukraine like in real-life."

Heavy laughs at the idea.

Heavy: (happy) "Will do! And good luck with your game, Sniper."

Sniper: (happy) "You got it and good luck killing communists and Nazis!"

Sniper leaves and Heavy continues to play.

Heavy: (happy) "Sniper is a good teammate."

Heavy continues to play and manages to overthrow Stalin.

Heavy: (happy) "YES! Now to Return Democracy to the Party and bring forth a better Russia with no communist influence."

Heavy then tries to make alliances with Romania, Latvia, Lithuania, Estonia and Finland to fight against the German Reich. While doing so, he sent in his spies to overthrow the current Chinese regime. After that, he focuses on the air force tree in order to expand his aerial forces. Then he also focus on Found the PCDI as he tries to get tanks in order to fight against the Nazis. But then he hears a knock on the door.

Heavy: (perplexed) "Da?"

Medic comes in.

Medic: (normal tone) "Hello, Heavy. I got some news about-" *sees HOI4* "Wait, is that Hearts of Iron 4?"

Heavy: (normal tone) "Da. I'm preparing myself for whatever game the Engineers are making. I'm only playing the vanilla version for now. Although Sniper suggested that I try it with mods later since we have no idea what the game is gonna be like. I do remember Engineer saying that it takes place after some sort of fictional world after the argument about politics."

Medic: (normal tone) "Ja? I'm trying out the Dawn of War: Dark Crusade game because I think I overheard him saying something about bonuses for claiming territory. But that game focus more on military than politics."

Heavy: (normal tone) "I'll keep that in mind. But is that what the news is about?"

Medic: (normal tone) "What? No. The news is that PNK Team and TEL Team are now perma-dead because of some complication that happened and they cannot respond. But Spy got some videos about what their ideologies are."

Scout is at the door with the door wide open and overhears.

Scout: (surprised) "Hold up, PNK and TEL are dead? For good?"

Heavy: (bugged) "Scout, would you please knock before entering?"

Scout: (normal tone) "The door is wide open so I can't. If Medic closed it, then I'll knock. Unlike Demoman."

Heavy: (annoyed) "I heard that argument."

Scout: (normal tone) "But unlike other Scouts, I got standards. I only go for romantic hentais, not whatever the hell else people like to jerk-off to. If you don't want the truth of what people jerk-off to, best that you don't barge in and judge them."

Medic: (agreement) "I have to agree. Knock first before coming in or you'll be horrified by what people like. But you shouldn't judge them unless you want the same thing happen to you. That is what that RED Demoman on those Demoman fetish videos has to learn the hard way."

Heavy: (unsure) "It actually depends on what the fuck they like that turns them on that we should judge. Like something inappropriate or outright disgusting."

Scout: (agreement) "Can't deny that. I saw videos by Boogey Bully which go into detail about the shit the RED Scout was into." (disgusted) "Horribly, disturbing and disgusting shit that there was a video about them replacing over 993 Scouts."

Heavy & Medic: (surprised) "HOLY SHIT!"

Scout: (disgusted) "Yeah. And the BLU Team had the same problem. For everyone's sanity, I will not go into detail. Anyway, I'm gonna play Civilization 3 for a bit to prepare for whatever game the Engineers are working on. Tell Spy we'll watch the videos later when we have time."

Scout walks away. While they were talking, the game froze up.

Heavy: (shocked) "OH NO! My game froze up! Fuck!" (angry) "And I was so close to achieving getting democracy in Russia and prevent the Nazis and communists from gaining anymore power. I have to reset the damn thing."

Medic: (normal tone) "Good luck with your retry Heavy and hope their game doesn't freeze up."

AN: Hey everyone. Hope you enjoy this random stuff. But if you got an ideology for any future teams like what Spy listed and want it to appear, let me know in the reviews. Just make sure you give a reason why you support your ideology. Like RogueShadow222 said about his/hers ideology. Short, but easy to understand. However, I already got something in mind for PNK and TEL. Till then, see ya in the next chapter.