AN: This is just for comedy and don't support some of the crap about ideologies, factions and whatever the fuck may appear in this. This is just a story about two other teams of Team Fortress 2 such as YLW and GRN since RED and BLU are the mains but no one ever have the other two involved in any or SFM but there are some exceptions in certain videos on YouTube. Since I don't have Gmod or 15 ai , I decided to write. (Plus I suck at making videos.) Lastly, this contains harmful political discussions. Reader discretion is advised. I condemn all violence and breeding ground for extremists. THE TF2 LORE DOES NOT APPLY HERE.

The Deal with Team TEL & Team PNK, Part 1

GRN Team, except Spy, is at home with GRN Pyro return with a lot of trophies of poachers hung on the wall with a lot of stuffed heads. YLW Soldier also returned with the same loot. GRN Pyro talked about his time killing poachers that also include not only beheading and stuffing poacher heads, but also using their dead bodies as scarecrows, some of their body parts used to mark anti-poacher territory as well as a warning, and many things that would be considered murder. But it is legal to kill poachers in certain parts of Africa, so no one actually cares about human rights violation towards animal killers. But it would be weird to have a trophy name Gary. But Pyro finishes his story.

Pyro: (normal tone) "And that is how we managed to prevent any more poaching to save the environment. Well a small corner of it, but hope other countries will let us hunt down more of these bastards."

Pyro even show a head of a white man.

Pyro: (happy) "And look! I even killed poachers that were racists in South Africa!"

Everyone is a little freaked out by the taxidermy head of a poacher.

Scout: (scared) "Okay. Please keep these things away from us. Please?"

Spy then enters in with the look of exhaustion.

Heavy: (perplexed) "Spy, you okay? You look tired."

Spy: (tired) "Because I was forced to watch two videos with both of which contain a few terrible ideologies. Videos of both TEL and PNK. I'm not sure you all are ready to see these train wrecks of absolute extremism. I barely sat through these horse shits and survived!"

Soldier: (confused) "On a scale of one to ten, how bad?"

Spy: (upset) "Nine point nine!"

Sniper: (surprised) "Holy doodly! How can they be worse than the nuke happy MacArthur cultist, the Burgundian BLU Pyro, the black supremacists, the theocratic machine fuckwit, and the Dixie lover?!"

Spy: (upset) "You have to see to believe."

Engineer: (interest) "Then let's play the first tape."

Demoman: (interest) "Let's see the PNK Team. They are an all female team so how bad could they be?"

Medic: (opinion) "Judging by Spy's reaction, must be complete shit."

Heavy: (normal tone) "Must be full of cringe."

Spy places the PNK Team disc into the player and has the TV on. Then he places the play button.

On PNK Team, we have a FemScout and a Demowoman that are sitting on the couch watching the BLU Team's debate about politics as the BLU Heavy was unleashing his rage. Demowoman is laughing at the scene yet Scout does not. By the by, if you failed to read what Demoman said, they're an all female team so we're getting the perspective from women.

Demowoman: (laughing) "What a bunch of morons! I thought RED Team was bad, bur BLU Team is just as dumb!"

Scout: (unimpressed) "A bunch of patriarchal scum bags if you ask me."

Demowoman: (happy) "Yeah, they're-" (realizes) "Wait a minute. Why did you just call them 'patriarchal scum bags'? I can understand the formal but why the latter?"

Cue Einheitsfrontlied (English Version).

Scout: (angry) "Because men are the most dumbest, sexist, and outright problem with the world. They think they know better, but in truth, they're just as stupid as they were cavemen."

Demowoman: (surprised) "What the fuck?! I know that most men are dumb, but that's sexist!"

Scout: (angry) "A woman can't be sexist!"

Demowoman: (upset) "A woman that is being sexist towards men is still sexist."

Scout: (angry) "Screw you, you stupid man lover! I am a feminist! And as a feminist, I say we should put men in their place by genocide most of the male population or have them enslaved!"

Demowoman: (angry) "Are you fucking kidding me?! You're not a feminist, you're a radical! A radical feminist like you should be put down to prevent any catastrophe! And how the fuck do you expect to be a leader of a population if people are unable to procreate!? Last I check, in vitro fertilization is still considered difficult and you still need sperm to do it."

Scout: (angry) "In case you haven't notice, DNA and genetic manipulation has come a long way since. I say toss the men aside and let a woman decide if she wants to have a baby or not. Do you know how many rapes have been going on through the centuries? Not to mention the amount of women getting kidnap by men in order to fulfill their sexual desires and then kill them. Do you know how many of these things have been going on world wide and for how long? Screw the men and let women be in charge. We almost had a woman as a president in the 2016 elections but Donald Trump had to ruin everything. LIKE HE DID TO THE UNITED STATES! But if you don't like my ideology, then tell me what the fuck is yours then!"

Demowoman: (proud) "For me, I am a proud supporter of matriarchy. I do agree with women should be in charge of a nation, but I do not support genocide or enslavement. Women should lead a nation. We have more brain cells than men, but that doesn't mean we should do all those horrible things."

Then FemEngineer shows up.

Engineer: (confused) "What's with all the commotion? Is everyone watching something?"

Scout: (angry) "Engineer, can you tell this idiot why we should get rid of men altogether in order to make the world a better place for us women?"

Demowoman: (angry) "Engineer, can you tell this moron why we shouldn't commit genocide yet approve a matriarchy?"

Engineer (normal tone) "Both of you are fucking ridiculous."

Demowoman & Scout: (surprised) "What?!"

Engineer: (normal tone) "The truth is that I believe that all are equal, both men and women. I also believe that we should increase our longevity and cognition with the most sophisticated technology there is."

Demowoman: (interest) "So you're a transhumanist."

Scout: (upset) "Are you like that theocratic, machine loving fuckboy from the BLU Team?"

Engineer: (annoyed) "God no! I believe that we have the technology to make ourselves better. I am a Christian, but that doesn't mean I have to take things seriously about religion like that RED Engineer."

Scout: (upset) "Follower of a patriarchy religion that is founded by a man. You poor, brainwashed, sheep girl."

Engineer: (upset) "Go to hell, you fucking sinner!"

Scout: (angry) "Make me, slave bitch!"

Demowoman: (angry) "All of you, shut the fuck up!"

Fempyro appears and is wearing a Chinese straw hat on her head and floating in a meditative position.

Pyro: (confused) "Hey ladies. What is with all the yelling?"

Scout: (annoyed) "Tell this stupid man-loving slave here that she shouldn't follow a patriarchy religion."

Engineer: (annoyed) "Tell this stupid genocidal radical that her ideology is bullshit and morally wrong."

Pyro: (confused) "Ideologies? Are you all planning to get fired like what nearly happened to RED and BLU?"

The sound of glass breaking can be heard as the three have their eyes wide open and a stun look on their faces.

Scout: (scared) "Uh...no?"

Demowoman: (normal tone) "That only applies if we're on duty. I think."

Pyro: (normal tone) "Oh. Okay. That'll work. Anyway, my ideology is omnist."

Scout: (confused) "What the fuck is an omnist?"

Demowoman: (normal tone) "I know those kind of people. They are a spiritual movement that involve uniting all religions into one and believe in all faiths. I heard that it is the best way to avoid having other people shoving their own faiths down people's throats. But I heard that it is not as mainstream."

Engineer: (happy) "Well hallelujah! Now there's something that everyone can agree on!"

Scout: (scoffs) "Long as I worship goddesses and not anything relating to men, I can go down on that." (realizes) "And does that explain why you're floating?"

Pyro: (happy) "At least everyone can agree on something. And I don't just do it just to avoid people shoving their faiths onto me. I do it because I believe that humanity can be united spiritually and able to overcome their differences."

Scout: (rolls eyes) "Oh please."

Then FemHeavy appears out of nowhere and scares everyone by yelling.

Heavy: (annoyed) "Hey! Don't leave me out of political discussions! I like to talk politics!"

Pyro: (unamused) "Hope you're not with the politically correct groups."

Demowoman: (angry) "Dammit, Heavy! Why do you have to scare us like that?!"

Heavy: (upset) "Because I don't want to be left out like the entire team left me out on the outing last week!"

Cue Take Me Home, Country Road.

Scout: (apologize) "I'm sorry, Heavy. I didn't realize you wanted in on our conversation."

Engineer: (normal tone) "Really? You want in on this debate?"

Heavy: (normal tone) "Da. And don't worry Pyro, I do not like those PC groups just as much as you do."

Pyro: (relieved) "At least we can agree on something."

Demowoman: (curious) "Then tell us what your political ideology is, Heavy. Hope it is better than Scout being a radical feminist."

Scout: (angry) "Watch it!"

Heavy: (normal tone) "For me, I prefer an agrarian commonwealth. A democratic nation where it focuses on the needs of the citizens which the vast majority of the people are farmers and rural workers. Because I prefer a quiet life in the country side in a general welfare state. Tending to my potatoes and making my own vodka as I also get to relax on my front porch in a rocking chair."

Engineer: (stun) "Really? That's it? No form of genocide or why a nation is gone to shit? Not giving a reason for certain things in our political system or any religion?"

Heavy: (normal tone) "I prefer to live a quiet and simple life once I retire from this job. Plus, I prefer to live in the country side rather than that of a city. Cities are too crowded and they have a higher rate of crime."

Engineer: (smiles) "Ah-ha! So there is something you say that there is wrong with society!"

Heavy: (normal tone) "Well, it is fact. Speaking of facts; in 2021, violent crimes in cities are now 121% higher than country towns which is double. Not to mention all the pollution and lack of fresh oxygen is one of the reasons why crime is higher. All those carbon-monoxide molecules with rotting smells can make people super angry."

Pyro: (normal tone) "Okay, that makes sense. Scientists have stated that the lack of clean oxygen can make anyone aggressive and stressed out."

Demowoman: (confused) "I thought you're an omnist?"

Pyro: (normal tone) "I am. Have you ever heard of scientology? It is an actual religion for the science types that still believe in god and whatnot."

Scout: (feeling awkward) "Is there anything that isn't a religion?"

Demowoman: (normal tone) "I wonder if there is a religion where I can drink as much alcohol as I want."

Heavy: (normal tone) "At least Pyro agrees with me."

FemSpy then appears. Stop the music.

Spy: (confused) "Care to explain on what is going on here? Are we watching Murdoch Mysteries?"

Scout: (upset) "Stay the fuck out of this, Spy. It doesn't concern you."

Engineer: (normal tone) "Oh come on! Let Spy join our political debate."

Spy: (interested) "Ah! Political banter. But please fill me in on what exactly does everyone support."

Pyro: (normal tone) "I'm an omnist, Scout is a radical feminist, Heavy supports agrarian commonwealth, Demowoman supports matriarchy, and Engineer supports transhumanism. And Scout wants to commit genocide and slavery towards men!"

Spy: (upset) "OUTRAGEOUS! I love yaoi porn! So fuck-off, Scout!"

Scout flips the bird.

Scout: (angry) "Fuck you, you man lover! Lesbians are better!"

Demowoman: (angry) "Shut the fuck up, Scout and let Spy tell us of his ideology!"

Scout: (upset) "It better not be Islam. Because of the shit Afghanistan is going through. I think the world would be better off without Islam because it creates more problems than solve."

Cue Cyberpunk 2077 E3 2018 Trailer Theme.

Spy: (happy) "I don't. Because I am a capitalist!"

Heavy: (upset) "I do understand the need of capitalism, but do you really have to be a complete corporate like the RED Spy?"

Spy: (offended) "I am not a corporatist! I do not see people as property and I do care about the environment because I also support blue and green capitalism!" (happy) "Like I said, I am a capitalist. I do like to make money by being honest rather than being a cutthroat. Green capitalism means I support the environment rather than brown capitalism that destroys it. Blue is similar to green, but it focuses on the oceans, seas, anything related to water. And I also support Hong Kong's yellow capitalism to fight against communist China!"

Pyro: (curious) "Yellow capitalism?"

Spy: (normal tone) "Wee. Support Hong Kong and tell communist China to go fuck itself! I hate the fact that China is monopolizing most of the trade routes because of the cheaper labor. Isn't communism about power to the workforce? Too bad it is all just a fucking lie. Capitalism is better and people can get better pay based-on performance. But I also support the welfare of my employees to all under my employ. Everyone get great healthcare and dental in my company."

Engineer: (impressed) "Damn, Spy. Can I sign up to join?"

Heavy: (normal tone) "At least you treat your people well. Better than that corporate ass-hole on the RED Team."

Scout: (agreement) "For that, I agree."

Spy: (disgust) "At least Hong Kong doesn't legalize rape as a form of torture along with forced abortions! And let's not forget what they do with members of the LGBT+ people. Take them away and never to be seen again. Probably forcing them to work to death. So much for union rights!"

Demowoman: (normal tone) "At least we're here in New Mexico, part of the United States." (upset) "However, we have a bunch of over privileged brats on Twitter and Tumblr that whine and complain about the simplest of things. Like with the Hogwarts Legacy game that people stream. You wouldn't believe the shit these assholes are giving to the streamers. For the love of god! It's just a fucking video game. It doesn't represent anything, not meant to mean something, its just a fucking video game like all the other video games."

Spy: (angry) "Even worse when they absolutely refuse to defend themselves on reasons why! They come up with excuses and more excuses on why they won't be part of any fucking debates. I'm betting that they are being paid by big name companies such as EA and Activision to bully and harass people that stream or play the game. Like they did with reviewers to bribe them on getting good views when the game is shit! Hogwarts Legacy is a breath of fresh air among the horrible dime-a-dozen repeated and glitchy bullshits they keep releasing. Like Battlefield 2042! The companies release fucking buggy messes and say it is a complete game and you are expected to pay full price for a shitty game. Port Key is a good company and they deliver what is possibly one of the greatest games of the year!"

Stop the music.

Female Medic comes in and wearing a the Starlight Sorcerer.

Medic: (excited) "Hey, everyone! I heard someone mentioning Hogwarts Legacy! Is it a great game or what?!"

Heavy: (normal tone) "...actually, we're discussing politics."

Medic: (happy) "Oh! I'm a supporter of democracy and I support magic punk! I also support members of the LGBT+ community and voidpunk. As a matter of fact, I support many forms of cyberpunk derivatives such as solarpunk, oceanpunk, islandpunk, ecopunk and elfpunk. Long as it doesn't cause any sort of dystopia which is why I support these certain ideals."

Awkward silence fills the room as Medic continues to smile and look at everyone.

Medic: (confused) "What is wrong?"

Scout: (nervously smile) "Um...you go and have fun with that. As a matter of fact, why don't you and go play your games. I heard that Dead Island 2 and Atomic Heart are coming out. Why don't you go check if they're out or not?"

Medic: (happy) "Ja! I'll go do that!"

Medic leaves the room as everyone just saw her leave.

Pyro: (little disturbed) "Is she gonna be okay?"

Heavy: (disturbed) "I'm not entirely sure."

FemSniper enters.

Sniper: (confused) "Hey, what is everyone looking at? As a matter of fact, why is everyone standing here?"

Scout: (normal tone) "Wondering if we should send our medic to a proper hospital."

Sniper: (even more confused) "Uh, why?"

Demowoman: (normal tone) "Because she believes in various punk genres such as solarpunk, oceanpunk and whatnot long as they don't cause dystopias."

Sniper: (realizes) "Hang on, are you all discussing politics? For me, I'm a social democrat. I believe in free healthcare and getting free stuff-"

Sniper accidentally dropped her rifle on Heavy's foot. Heavy is about to scream.

Everyone but Heavy: (in trouble) "Uh-oh."

Heavy screams as loud as she can and goes berserk on everyone for ten minutes. Then FemSoldier pops in.

Soldier: (screaming) "SHUUUUUUT THE FUUUUUUUCK UP!" (pissed) "What the fuck is with all the fucking yelling?! I'm trying to watch Ancient Aliens and I can't do it will all the screaming! So what is going on, what is all this bullshit, and can I please get some fucking coffee for this shit?"

Cue X-Files Theme.

Sniper: (roll-eyes) "Oh great, the conspiracy nutcase is here."

Scout: (normal tone) "We were discussing our ideologies until Sniper's rifle accidentally landed on Heavy's foot."

Heavy: (angry) "Da! And it landed on my toe bones!"

Sniper: (apologizes) "I'm sorry! I need a better grip!" (normal tone) "Anyway, like I was saying, I am a social democrat. I believe in free healthcare and getting free stuff while under a democracy."

Soldier: (normal tone) "Basically the same shit like the RED Demoman."

Sniper: (shrugs) "Well, yeah."

Demowoman: (normal tone) "But what about Medic and her punk stuff?"

Scout: (scared) "I do not wanna criticize! Last time I did, Medic put me in five separate vats and experimented on me! All because I insulted her about Johnny Depp in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies!"

Pyro: (surprised) "Bloody hell! That's awful!"

Spy: (normal tone) "But what about you, Soldier? You must have an ideology of some sort."

Soldier: (normal tone) "I believe in anarchy."

Scout: (annoyed) "Seriously!? Anarchy!? Is it because of this new world order bullshit?"

Soldier: (normal tone) "Exactly! People like the Bilderburg Group, Illuminate and Knights Templar believe that we are nothing more than sheep meant to be controlled. But personally, under the right guidance, people can govern themselves in smaller nations and are able to defend themselves. With the right education, people can make morally correct choices and able to take responsibility for this world better. Make things cleaner and able to unlock our full potential in innovation, technology, and able to put our differences aside no matter what they are in order to achieve utopia."

Engineer: (normal tone) "So...semi-anarchism."

End music.

Soldier: (confused) "What?"

Engineer: (normal tone) "Semi-anarchism. It's what the GRN Team believe in. Democratic semi-anarchism to be exact."

Pyro: (normal tone) "I'm an omnist. I believe that people of different faiths should work together rather than against each other. So we can have some of that in it."

Soldier: (curious) "Hey, Pyro? How about we go to the GRN Team and ask them about?"

Scout: (angry) "Fucking sex traitor!"

Demowoman: (angry) "HEY! Just because they would like to have philosophical discussions, doesn't mean they are traitors!"

Scout pulls out her shotgun.

Scout: (very angry) "All of you are traitors to our gender!"

Soldier pulls out her rocket launcher.

Soldier: (threatening) "I'm gonna kill you like I would against the shadow governments!"

Heavy pulls out her big gun.

Heavy: (threatening) "Don't make me put you two on permanent time out!"

Demowoman: (voice of reason) "Easy! We're teammates! If we do this, we are no better than all those sausages that like to go for the throat!"

Medic comes barging in.

Medic: (pissed) "HEY! KEEP IT DOWN! I'M TRYING TO PLAY HOGWARTS LEGACY! And Scout! Don't make me put you in vats again!"

Medic leaves.

Scout: (scared) "How about we discuss this when Medic isn't home or we all would be part of her medical experiments? Agree?"

Everyone: "Agree!"

GRN Team finished watching the tape with some are conflicted by what they saw.

Scout: (feeling bad) "Geez. Never thought we would take women for granted. Now we got feminists wanting to genocide us."

Engineer: (intrigued) "I do like what the PNK Pyro believes in. Religious putting their differences aside to better humanity. I like it."

Heavy: (interest) "And I like that Heavy's agrarian commonwealth idea." (feeling bad) "Too bad she died in a nuclear explosion and won't respawn."

Spy: (chuckles) "You think that's bad? Wait until you see what TEL Team believes in! They are way worse!"

Then Spy puts in the next tape.