Chapter 3 – Konata's Walk-Breaking Proposal
Ayano's POV
I didn't get much sleep last night. I kept thinking of Misao and that trip of hers to Hakone. And for some reason, it made me sadder than it should've.
Why does it bother me so much? Misao's just going to spend some time with her family. That's all there is, right?
…
So, then…why am I not happy about the idea? Misao and I not doing our yearly tradition…it's not that big of a deal. It's only for 10 days.
…
So, then why do I hate it so freaking much?
"Ayano…"
Why do I hate the idea of Miso not being with me for the week?
"Ayano…"
Am I THAT clingy towards her? Was I ever clingy? I don't think I was…but…this feeling…
"It's raping time!"
"Wh-What?!" I suddenly jumped out from my train of thoughts to realize that someone had whispered that highly inappropriate phrase in my ear.
And there was only one person I knew who had such boldness to say that.
"Hey…look who finally came to. Morning, Ayano."
"K-Kirin! Don't just say random inappropriate jokes in my ear like that!"
"What? You were deeply spacing out and Misao couldn't get you to come inside reality. So, I gave her a handy. No big deal."
"Please don't joke about ejaculation this early in the morning." I said with a huge sweatdrop.
Kirin Miyagi. Ryōō's new Student Council President who transferred from Okinawa and joined our class for her third year of high school. The main thing about her is that she makes sexual innuendos pretty much every time she speaks. Which gets some…interesting responses from people around her.
It took most of us a while to get used to her daily vocabulary. But there are still some incidents…like this one…in which we still get caught off-guard with her speech.
She makes conversations interesting, at least…
"You okay, Ayano?" Misao asked me. "Spacing out isn't something you normally do."
"O-Oh, yeah. I'm fine, really. Just a little *yawn* tired."
"Were you up all night studying again? Midterms aren't until after Golden Week, ya know."
"But they're still close. Which was why I was studying."
For the most part…
"Ugh…midterms." Kirin said. "The time of the month I'm NOT looking forward to."
"What time of the month WOULD you be looking forward to?" I gained a sweatdrop.
"Aside from the period joke, I agree with Kirin." Misao said. "I'm not looking forward to midterms at all."
"You two really oughta take this seriously. You're third-years about to go to college."
"Yeah, but I hate studying. It's so boring."
"It blows so hard that you could call it oral." Kirin added.
"Do you two at least open a textbook?"
"Well, duh. Of course, I at least open a textbook." Misao said. "I open it spread eagle, even."
"*giggle* Good one." Kirin said.
"Seriously…?" I said with an exasperated sweatdrop.
"It's just keeping it open that's hard. I end up falling asleep after a few minutes."
"*sigh* Well, if that's the case…I guess I can help you study, Misao."
"Great! Thanks, Ayano! You're a lifesaver!" Misao cheered with a thumbs up. Hearing her say that really brought a pretty big smile to my face. Knowing that I'll be with her for just a bit longer before we go our separate ways for nearly two weeks is a little more comforting.
…
But…I still don't know why I'm extremely sad about it in the first place. Just why the hell am I overreacting to it?
Maybe I'm not thinking this through…
"What? You're just gonna leave me high 'n dry like a one-night stand, Ayano?" Kirin asked. "That's pretty cold of you."
"Why do most of your jokes refer to lesbian sex?"
"Well, isn't every character in this story a lesbian?"
"Wh-What? No! Who told you that?!"
"Loli did. She was really passionate about this book she was reading and I questioned her about it. Said something about "spreading the yuri" or something like that."
"Huh…"
"Looks like Chibikko's spouting nonsense again." Misao said in an annoyed tone.
By the way…Kirin calls Izumi-san "Loli" because, for one, she can never remember her name…and she reminds her of a sex pillow.
And as you would expect…Izumi-san hates that name. With a burning passion, too.
I find it funny, at least…
"Morning."
"Morning, Kagami." Misao and I replied as Kagami came in and walked up to us.
"Mornin', Kagami. Having a bonerific day?"
"No, Kirin. I keep telling you that mornings should never be bonerific."
"But why though? Wouldn't it be great if your morning was as titillating as a quick rub down before school?"
"N-No, you damn perv!" Kagami yelled with a faint blush on her face.
"Huh…well, it makes sense to me."
"How the hell are you the Student Council President?" I asked with a huge sweatdrop.
"Hey, Ayano. You okay?" Kagami asked me. "You look tired as hell."
"O-Oh, yeah. I'm fine. I was just…up late last night studying."
Kinda…
"Oh, you were studying. *sigh* If only I can get a certain blue-haired otaku to study for at least five minutes."
"Heh. No surprise that perverted midget never studied a day in her life." Misao said. "Probably spends all day playing porno games."
"Uh, they're called Erotica, Misakichi."
…
…
…
"Gah! Q-Quit appearing out of nowhere!" Misao yelled at Izumi-san after she had randomly appeared in between us again.
"You two just have to be more aware. Now that we're no longer constricted by that pesky fourth wall, I can sneak around like a dimension-breaking ninja. HIYA!"
"I thought ninjas were usually tall and busty beyond compare and not so much an elementary kid that could pass off as a sex pillow." Kirin said.
"Tch! Well, I have you know…my height and chest size don't matter. And quit calling me a sex pillow, damnit!"
"Why? It fits you."
"Like hell, it does!"
"You just don't see it, Loli. There are a lot of people out there who have a fetish for child-sized bodies like yours. Pingases getting stone hard and tacos becoming moist like lotion…Hentai Haven is always open if you wanna truly become a NEET." Kirin then gave a thumbs up.
"Oh, my God! I can't stand you…" Izumi-san mumbled in anger.
"Payback's a bitch ain't it, Ayano?" Misao whispered to me.
"More like payback's a careless pervert." I replied with a light giggle.
"Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in class?" Kagami asked Izumi-san.
"Relax, Kagamin. I just came to check up on our next new couple right here." Izumi-san said then looked at us two with a cheeky grin.
"Wh-What? New couple?" I asked.
"What nonsensical crap are you talking about, Chibikko?" Misao asked.
"Yuri love is not "nonsensical crap", Misakichi. The sweet passionate feeling you get when you confess to the girl you love. And knowing that you'll get to spend all eternity with that person. Kagamin knows what I'm talking about."
"D-Don't just bring that up so casually, Konata." Kagami started blushing.
"See?"
"Well, it may work for you two. But not so much for us." I said. "We don't see each other that way."
"Ah, but that's what they all say, Ayano."
"But it's actually true for us."
"Yeah. I totally get it." Izumi-san then winked at me.
"You don't listen, do you?" I gained a sweatdrop.
"Cut the crap, Chibikko." Misao said unamused. "Ayano and I don't see each other that way."
"Hmm…Well, what if I could change your mind?"
"Huh?" We both were confused.
"I lent Patty a special yuri light novel that features two girls that are super similar to the two of you. Childhood friends, classmates in high school, curious about yuri love…"
"That last one is nothing like us…" I gained another sweatdrop.
"Wait…is it the book about every girl being a lesbian?" Kirin asked.
"Ugh. I don't wanna read one of your porno books." Misao said.
"Okay, one. It's Erotica! And two, I just said that it was a light novel."
"If it's yours, then I highly doubt it."
"It really is a light novel, Misao." Kagami said. "I was the one who recommended it to her."
"So, you're into lesbian sex?" Kirin asked.
"No! W-Well, I mean…I-I am a lesbian, but…wh-why is that any of your business?!"
"Just curious."
Why would you be curious about THAT?
"Anyway…" Izumi-san continued. "…I usually don't bother with light novels. But man that one is so good. It had me laughing and crying and angrily yelling at the fictional characters. That Toma-To really knows his or her stuff."
"Toma-To?" The three of us repeated the name.
"What kind of ridiculous name is that?" Misao asked.
"It's a pseudonym, Misao." I said. "Although, I gotta admit. Even for pseudonym standards, that's a really weird name."
"The author just debuted." Kagami said. "Their first novel was an instant best-seller called Happy Go Lily."
"W-Wow. So, this person already has a best-seller." Misao said in shock. "That's pretty cool."
"Yeah, no kidding." I added.
Although…I feel like I've heard the name "Happy Go Lily" somewhere before…
"So. You girls wanna read it?" Izumi-san asked.
"Do the girls climax at the end?" Kirin asked.
"No."
"What about fingering?"
"No!"
"Do they at least play with themselves?"
"NO!"
"Well, that sucks and blows. I'll pass on reading it, then."
"It wasn't meant for you in the first place!"
"Anyway…you guys wanna give it a read?" Kagami asked us.
Misao and looked at each other with still worried looks on our faces. Sure, it was a light novel made by a best-selling author. But it was also a book that Izumi-san owned. Who's to say that what she told us was all a lie and it really is an erotica manga? I don't want to think of any dirty stuff for days on end.
Especially with these current feelings that I can't figure out at the moment.
…
…
…
But on the other hand…
"Okay. I guess I can take a look." I raised my hand.
"Alright! That's one!" Izumi-san cheered before looking at Misao.
"*sigh* Fine, Chibikko. I'll read your stupid book." Misao looked like she had given in to another one of Izumi-san's ideas and she wasn't happy about it. And I can understand why.
"Yeah! Two for two! We still got time before class starts so let's go get it now. HIYA!"
*POOF*
Izumi-san then "disappeared" in a cloud of smoke as a way to act like a ninja. And I put "disappeared" in parentheses because she didn't actually disappear. In fact, we were all staring at her outside the classroom waving at us to come follow her.
"*sigh* That idiot." Kagami said as she went after her.
"This damn book better be worth putting up with that midget's antics." Misao said with annoyance.
"Just hang in there, Misao..." I replied with my hand on her shoulder.
And so, we followed the two girls all the way to the second-year hallway and soon to Class 2-B where the second-years are all in. Seeing what kind of light novel this was that even had a perv like Izumi-san liking it. Though, the two of us were both still on edge about the idea.
As we reached the classroom and opened the door, what we saw can only be described as…highly unexplainable.
Mainly because…
"I like big…BUTTS and I can not lie!"
*CLAP* *CLAP*
"You other brothers can't deny!"
*CLAP* *CLAP*
"That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get SPRUNG…"
What we walked into was Patty-san and some of the other classmates dancing around while singing this song that sounded really inappropriate. While the rest of the class was either filming them doing it or watching in pure and utter confusion.
And I certainly don't blame the latter group.
"Uh…what is she doing?" Kagami asked Hiyori-san.
"Patty brought her iPod to school and was showing the class what American songs are like."
"This one song then came up and she just couldn't help to dance and sing along." Yutaka-chan said. "She even got some of the others to join in."
"And after hearing some of the lyrics, we're completely baffled that boys AND girls decided to join her." Minami-san added.
"I see…" Kagami gained a sweatdrop.
"Hey, Ayano. Kirin and I are gonna go join in. Film us." Misao whispered to me.
"What? Why? The whole thing looks and sounds inappropriate."
"I know, but it looks so fun! We can't resist! Just a few seconds, please?"
"Misao…*sigh* fine. Only a few seconds."
"Yes! You're the best, Ayano!"
"I'll totally repay you at the next council meeting!" Kirin added.
"Whatever. Just hurry up."
And so, I took out my phone and recorded the performance as Misao and Kirin went over to dance with Patty-san and her second-year classmates.
And it was clear to me that Patty-san had no problem with the sudden additions.
"Oh BABY, I want to get wit'cha!
And take your picture!
My homeboys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got makes me so horny!
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you want to get in my Benz?
Well, use me, use me
'Cause you ain't that average groupie!
I've seen her dancin'
To hell with romancin'
She's sweat! Wet!
Got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette!"
*SLAP*
"They just slapped her own asses…" Izumi-san said while still in disbelief of what was happening.
"Along with a couple of girls in our class…" Hiyori-san added in the same tone.
"I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' flat butts are the thing
Take the average black man and ask him that
She gotta pack much back!
So, fellas…"
"YEAH!"
"Fellas…"
"YEAH!"
"Has your girlfriend got the butt?"
"HELL YEAH!"
"Don't these boys have any shame?" Minami-san asked after the boys behind Patty-chan had chanted part of the lyrics.
"I'm wondering that same question about Patty-chan, Misao-senpai, and Kirin-senpai." Yutaka-chan said.
Misao got rid of her shame a long time ago…
"Tell 'em to shake it!"
"SHAKE IT!"
"Shake it!"
"SHAKE IT!"
"Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got BACK!"
"Okay! I've heard enough of this crap!" Kagami yelled out. She shoved her bag in front of Izumi-san and started heading over to where the trio were as they were still dancing.
That was when…
*BONK*
*BONK*
*BONK*
"Ow! What was that for?!" Patty-san whined after all three girls received a bonk on their heads.
"You know EXACTLY what that was for! Singing and dancing to such a dirty song! Don't ever play it again!"
"Aw…what? But it was getting to the good part!"
"I don't care! Have some freaking dignity for once! And that goes for the rest of you, as well!"
"Y-Yes, senpai." The other students quietly replied.
"Geez, Kagami…how strong is your hand?" Kirin asked. "You banged me harder than an old guy on Viagra."
"I don't have the mental patience to retort to that right now." Kagami said with an exasperated sweatdrop.
"Aw, geez…" Misao said to me as she rubbed her head. "…I forgot how hard Kagami's punches to the head were. Probably the one thing I don't miss about not being around her a lot."
"I'll send the video to you during lunch."
"*giggle* Thanks, Ayano. You sure missed out, though. That was super fun."
"Yeah. Sure…" I gained a sweatdrop of my own.
It actually did look fun. But there's no way in hell I'm ever going to admit that.
"So, uh…Patty. Are you finished with that light novel I let you borrow? I kinda need it back." Izumi-san said after recovering from witnessing that song and dance.
"The what?" Patty-san was confused. "O-Oh, you mean that light novel. Yeah, I let Konno-chan borrow it."
"Wh-What?!"
"Huh…I didn't know Hosokoji was into light novels." Kagami said.
"She saw me reading it and wanted to read it herself. She's had it for about 2 to 3 days already."
"Patty! Why are you NOW bringing this up?!" Izumi-san yelled.
"Hmm…I guess I was too focused on my iPod that I forgot all about it. Sorry, Konata-senpai."
"*sigh* Aw, geez…"
"Is Konno having the book really THAT big of a deal?" Hiyori-san asked.
"Do you have something against Konno-chan, Konata-oneechan?" Yutaka-chan asked.
"Wh-What? No. It's not that. It's just…getting it back from her is going to be really tough because of…that."
"Oh, yeah…that." Misao said.
"Definitely that." I added.
"Uh…what is that?" Kirin asked.
"Oh, right. You never met her." Kagami said. "Well, the thing with Hosokoji is…"
"Woah…she's here!" One of the boys yelled out.
We all then turned to the door to see a girl with long light blonde hair with a black headband. Her eyes were as blue as the daytime sky. And her figure…although hidden by the summer uniform, you could easily tell that she had the perfect Japanese woman's body.
Nobody could keep their eyes off her. The boys had fallen for her and the girls envied her for her good looks. All and all, she was a sight to behold.
And this girl just happens to be…
"Morning, Konno-chan!"
"Wait…what?" Kirin said in disbelief as Patty-san called out the girl's name. By now, the girl noticed Patty-san waving at her and walked over to her. Giving her a small bow afterward.
"Holy mother of crap…"
"I think Kirin's starting to understand what we meant by "that"." I said to Misao.
"Yeah…definitely."
Konno Hosokoji. A second-year student who transferred here from Kichijōji and is currently friends with the four second-years. She…has a bit of a reputation surrounding her. Being known as "The Insanely Cute Deaf Girl" because people would instantly fall in love with her due to her looks.
It obviously followed her to Kasukabe from Kichijōji. But thanks to Yutaka-chan, Minami-san, Hiyori-san, and Patty-san…she's learning to get over this lifelong hurdle of hers.
Though, some girls wouldn't call it a hurdle at all…
"S-So, this is Konno…damn, you're hot as hell! Have people tried to plow you yet?!"
*POW*
"That isn't something you should be asking!" Kagami yelled after hitting Kirin in the head.
"Konno, this is Kirin Miyagi. I'm sure you're familiar with her already." Hiyori-san said to her.
(Oh, yes. The Student Council President who loves innuendos. I have heard a lot about you, K-I-R-I-N-senpai.)
"*giggle* So, I'm already THAT well-known, huh? Glad my goal of making this school a fine piece of ass is getting spread across easily."
"You need a new goal, damnit…" Kagami retorted with an exasperated sweatdrop.
"Oh, Konno-chan. Konata-senpai wants her light novel back." Patty-san said to her. "Do you have it with you?"
Konno-san simply nodded and dug into her schoolbag to get the book she had borrowed from Izumi-san.
(Thank you for letting me borrow this novel, K-O-N-A-T-A-senpai. It was such a good read.)
"Uh…sure thing, Hosokoji." Izumi-san said. "You know, I didn't think you would be into this kind of thing."
(Well…I am normally not a huge fan of the Romance genre. It can get generic at times. But with this book…it seemed really different from the others. The characters were endearing, the plot was interesting, and the overall relationship between the two girls was the sweetest thing I have ever seen. I had almost every emotion while reading it. It was truly a blast to read.)
"W-Wow…" Was all we really said. This was the most we ever saw Hosokoji sign. So, seeing her do it for that long was mind-blowing. If it weren't for the subtitles that appear whenever she signs, we would've been COMPLETELY lost.
Though, Hosokoji herself doesn't seem to be aware of that…
"Well…glad you liked it, Hosokoji." Izumi-san said.
*INSERT CLASSIC JAPANESE SCHOOL BELL CHIME HERE*
"Well, now…look at the time. We better get to class right, Kagamin?"
"Why does it matter to you? We're in different classes." Kagami-san said.
"I'm just looking out for you. Skipping is a no-no, you know…"
"Well, if you two wanna skip class and scissor in the bathroom, I can totally write an excuse for it."
"L-Like hell, we would do such a thing!" Both girls yelled at Kirin.
"Geez…you girls need to learn to get freaky. You know…live a little. The fact that you're taking this lesbo love as mellow as possible is just as boring as listening to Nanako talk for 50 minutes."
"Uh…" We all gained a huge sweatdrop at that moment. Mainly because…
*PINCH*
"Gah!"
"So, I'm boring to listen to, huh?"
"N-Nanako! I-I didn't mean like…w-well, you see is…r-really, I…" Kirin was in a huge panic after Kuroi-sensei heard what she said and pinched her ear in a highly pissed-off manner.
"Well, Kirin…if I'm THAT boring to listen to, then maybe you can give me pointers while I TALK YOUR EARS OFF!"
"No! Nanako, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it like that! Nanako~!"
We all watched as Kuroi-sensei dragged Kirin out of the second-year classroom by the ear without so much as listening to her pleas for forgiveness. Not really acknowledging that the rest of us were there.
…
…
…
"It's hard to believe that those two are sisters." Minami-san said.
"Yep." The rest of us replied.
Author's Note: Konno's sign language with always be represented in parentheses. I feel like it's the best way to write it out. Also, Kirin Miyagi does appear here from Seito-kai Star. Give that one a read if you aren't familiar with her.
Thanks for reading. Later.