Chapter 3

Chloe's Pov

Two months of being pregnant and I have been organising some baby stuff to buy and put them n my bedroom for safekeeping. I also had a spare, small room upstairs near my bedroom which I usually use to put away some old boxes of books with photographs and frames. Now, I could use that room to put the baby stuff like a changing table or to put a crib and a stroller. It would be perfect for the baby, but for a newborn, it is best to have a bedside cot next to my bed so I could a close eye on it when we are sleeping in the same room.

I was already up on a bright, early morning because I was stuck in a different waking routine since my morning sickness began. After Trixie left to go to school, I began researching on my laptop on the 'KidsLand' website to order a few more toys. Created an infallible mission to get everything right and prepared before the baby comes, I know that I still have a long way to go but I rather not get my collection at the last minute.

Maze who was awake at the time, walked behind me while holding her bowl of cereal, possibly with some vodka in it, I felt her presence closer as she leaned forward scanning the laptop scan and notice the shopping list I was making. She noticed my list of interesting baby stuff that I might possibly buy.

"Why do you want to buy so many toys for the kid?" she wondered before crushing on her cereal.

"Kids need some stuff to play with. They're going to start grabbing things and fiddle with things" I answered then turned and faced Maze, "Did you had stuff to play with when you were a baby?'

"All I had were two rocks when I was growing up" Maze revealed with a straight face, but her words were pointy pins digging into my heart.

"Really?" my face was painted within a deep shock and sadness. I remembered Maze told me about how her mother, Lilith abandoned Maze and her siblings in Hell. I know Maze doesn't really mind or what happened to her past, but I think she has the most saddest childhood I have ever heard.

"Yeah. One sharp, one not. I took the sharp one and try to stab things. Then I took the dull one and try to make it sharp too" Maze explained her childhood story.

"That, um..." I started in a speechless tone because I wasn't exactly sure on what to say as I didn't want to say something inappropriate. Until I finally replied something simple, "That explains a lot."

"It explains why I'm not a spoiled brat, which is exactly what this baby is going to become if you keep buying it lots of toys" Maze complained.

Maze never had a baby so she wouldn't understand how good it is for a baby to play with its' toys by grabbing them and moving them. I explained trying for Maze to plausibility see my reasons, "These kinds of toys help young babies to reach their arms, grab by flexing their fingers, hand-eye coordination…"

"You are such a dork" Maze huffed in an implausible tone.

"They are very helpful, plus it's very cute to watch the baby play with them" I added as I remembered when Trixie was a baby, I enjoyed watching her playing her toys. Watching her grow a wide smile on her tiny face as she fiddles with her fluffy and round toys. It melts my heart every time I think about it.

Maze suddenly grew a wide grin as an idea popped up in her head, "Hey, maybe I could…"

"You will not let my baby play with one of your daggers!" I loudly pointed out in a strict tone as I raised a finger and gave Maze a deep death stare into her eyes.

"Spoilsport" Maze name-called me in an irritated whisper.

I rolled my eyes before my phone began to buzz on the wooden surface, I quickly slide the answer button across the phone screen and answered, "Decker!"

"Chloe" I heard Ella's cheerful voiceover from the other side.

"Oh, hey Ella" I smiled.

"We got a murder down at the docks. Think you could come down and check it out? I get it if you can't because of your whole pregnancy thing…" Ella explained. I admired how caring Ella was, especially since she knows about the pregnancy, as she doesn't want to stress me out while I am doing other things for the baby.

"No, no, I can come down" I replied.

"Cool. See you soon then. I'll send you the address" Ella noted me.

"Great, thanks" I ended the call.

"What did Ellen say?" Maze asked as she was sitting on the blue couch in the living room while eating her cereal.

"There has been a murder by the docks" I informed the demon.

"Cool" she cooed before scooping a spoon filled with her cereal and lung it all into her mouth.

Ever since Maze became my partner, it has been pretty good for us two to sort out our broken lives, piece by piece, trying to get used to a new life without Lucifer. We were well fitted as partners since I enjoy doing the paperwork while Maze does most of the fieldwork like chasing down bad guys and all sorts. It was great because I couldn't do any of that since I don't risk the baby or myself in that matter, plus Maze does enjoy a small hunt when it comes to taking down criminals.

After breakfast, Maze and I drove down to the docks called the Marina del Rey where there were lots of small boats and huge yachts. There was a myriad of people wearing summery bikinis and trunks, they all had a deeply anxious look on their faces. Soon, I spotted how there were a few police officers talking to them which clues me that we were definitely in the right spot and that the police officers are interviewing the people as suspects to the crime investigation. Maze and I walked past them all but I noticed how Maze was smirking at some of the hot men and women.

We continued to walk along the wooden path that was floating above the salty, clear water with Maze leading in front of me. By the corner of my eye, I felt a pair of eyes staring at me as I glanced through the gap between a sale attached to the boat and the mast and caught the view of a male, tall, white figure standing in a short distance. I first noticed the black hair directly flocked to his right side, it was actually very similar to Lucifer's. But, what's wield was that this man was a black three-piece suit with a white vest behind and a red handkerchief in the outside chest pocket. It was the exact same suit Lucifer was wearing before he left for Hell. But, I knew it couldn't be him, could it?

Then, my eyes moved up and focus on his face, his dark, hypnotic eyes that were enchanting my eyes. I couldn't see from a distance, but I was sure that he was holding a smile, a sinister one. That was when goosebumps strangely grew on my arms as I felt a cold chill running down my spine.

"Decker? You okay?" Maze yelled which made me shifted my gaze to the demon.

But, when I stared back at the same position, the man was gone. I looked around and couldn't see the familiar man but still couldn't see him. Perhaps it was my mind playing tricks on me, or maybe it was the pregnancy. If so, then this baby will definitely have its father's sense of honour.

"Yeah, I'm fine" I shouted back while shaking my head before I started walking again in Maze's direction.

We were heading towards a huge, white yacht as we tucked under the yellow, police tape and walked up the back steps before entering inside. We finally reached to a large bedroom with a king-size bed and by each side, there was a door with a round, flat, wooden chandelier that stretched near the sidewalls on the ceiling. Two rectangle windows on each side of the bedroom, with a curve on the short sides. A black man was found dead laying on the ground with his back against the end of the bed, and he had a gunshot wound in the left side of his chest. The dead man was wearing a skinny, yellow bikini pants.

There were a few forensic scientists scanning around the large room while taking photos and notes on items belonging to the victim or anything unusual. Ella was already there photographing some close-up shots of the shot wound on the victim's chest.

"Hey Ella, what do we have?" I asked as I pulled out a notepad and a pen ready to take down the key facts while Maze sat herself down on a chair.

"Victim is Lee Garner, 53, career criminal. Armed robbery, burglary, but mostly small-time stuff" she explained, "Although he might not be so small-time anymore, because this Foshizzle is all his."

"This what?"

"The Foshizzle. Name of the boat, Foshizzle" Ella circularly waved her hand around.

To me, the name sounded like a new type of sparkly wine, I scanned around the room and wondered how a short-money burglar managed to buy a large yacht like this. I pulled my focus back on Ella as I questioned, "Okay, cause of death?"

"Gunshot wound to the chest" Ella answered as I kneed down and targeted my stare closer on the gunshot wound, it looks like Lee was shot from a small gun. "Oh, and if that wasn't messed up enough, the killer also did this."

Ella carefully lifted Lee's right arm and revealed that his right hand is missing which raised my eyebrows in deep shock and suspicion, Ella continued, "Clean cut at the wrist, post-mortem."

I developed a small sense of relief when we acknowledged the fact that our victim didn't suffer painfully when someone removed his hand. I turned to face Maze, "What do you think?"

Maze's dark eyes scanned the victim's body and replied, "I think I boned him."

Ella lightly chuckled at Maze's response however I deeply huffed in an annoyed tone, "Maze, just because you happened to have slept with that one murder victim a few weeks ago doesn't mean that you slept with them all."

Maze rolled her eyes at my comment and I pulled my focus back on the dead body and Ella as the scientist cut in, "Wow, Maze is really settling into her role as your new Lucifer."

Even though every time I hear Lucifer's name it painfully aches my wounded heart, I sedately ignored my grief and framed a fake grin, "Well, in her capacity as a bounty hunter for the LAPD, she has graciously been helping me with my cases."

"Yeah. It's like Lucifer never left" Ella joked, and she was somewhat right because right as Maze does make some sexual and inappropriate comments during some cases, plus she loves doing the action in the investigation and leaving me with the paperwork.

"But he did leave. I mean, at least you guys got to say goodbye. Me? Ghosted completely" I felt some shame and sadness hidden in Ella's calm voice as we understood how she and Lucifer had developed a sibling-bond between them, "And it's been what, like, two months since he moved to Britain to help with his family's business?"

"Mm-hmm. Britain, yeah. Because he's British" I calmly agreed with the fake statement, nodding my head while my finger was scratching the side of my head. But, I felt a bit shock when Ella reminded me that it has been only two months since Lucifer's absence, I didn't know how I managed it so far without completely breaking down.

"As far as I'm concerned, Lucifer can, well... He can go to Hell" Ella angrily hissed. Oh, if only Ella knew how right she was, but that doesn't make the pain any less.

I don't know what Hell looks like, but I know that it's a dreadful place and I imagine Lucifer ruling the real, could see the loneliness blooming in his face. The desperation in his dark eyes of wanting to see me again, wanting to be together, wanting to be hugged, to be touched, to be in my arms again. I wanted him here too, so, so much. I want to feel Lucifer's arm tightly wrapped around my body to bring me closer to his.

"You guys don't think he's having work done, do you?" I could still hear Ella's voice fading in the background as I was lost in a depressing daydream. Every time Ella mentions something, anything, about Lucifer I feel like I was sucking more into a quicksand of my own sorrows and misery.

"Ellen!" Maze loudly called out grabbing Ella's attention and mine, as Maze quietly catcalled "Read the bloody room."

In that second, Ella shifted her puzzled face from Maze to me and quickly spotted the growing sorrow within me when she first spoke of Lucifer. I shook my head pretending that I wasn't bothered however Ella already felt bad as she gawked at me, "Chloe, I am so sorry. I didn't mean to bring up the 'L' word."

"It's... It's okay. And to be honest, I have been working so much, I haven't even had a chance to stop and think about him... really" I lied with a wide, fake grin that mostly everyone could sceptically see-through. They could see how my face always frowns whenever someone mentions God or Christian related then I always lead me to think about Lucifer. Or how I watch a happy couple walking pass by view my sad eyes wander down as I regret about Lucifer and I should have more time together before his absence.

"Anyhow, back to the case... Uh, any leads?" I desperately wanted to change the subject.

"None yet, but I'll have more when I get everything back to the lab" Ella smiley explained however I still sense some shame behind her eye because of what she said before.

"Okay, great. Call me if anything comes up" I kindly instructed.

"Yeah. Oh, and Chloe" Ella called out and walked up to my side, then she leaned in closer and secretly whispered, "How's our mini deckerstar going?"

She pointed her stare down at my belly before Ella meets my eyes again, I chuckled a grin when Ella whisper like it was a massive secret. It wasn't really but I didn't like the idea of spreading the news about my pregnancy to everyone. Soon, I answered, "All good and healthy."

"Great" Ella happily purred, "Ah, I still can't believe you're pregnant."

"Me too" I agreed but I was still over the moon about it.

"Anyway, I've been wanting to ask and I understand if you say no, but I've been meaning to ask if I can set up your baby shower?" Ella mumbled on with her begs and her puppy-eyes look, "Please, I'll be super careful and organise…"

"Alright, yeah" I cut in, "But, I'm involved in the planning too"

"Yes!" Ella loudly cheered before she leaps forward and wrapped her arms around my body, I returned the hug while she was shaking me side to side, "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

"You will not regret it, Chloe" Ella lets go of me before she dashed off with her forensic camera.

Even though I will be taking care of this baby alone, I was glad that I have lots of support from my friends to help me out. I heard Maze jumping up from her chair and walked over till she was standing beside me, "A party means lots of presents. And presents means more gifts for the baby. Am I right?"

"Yep" I answered as I looked down at my notepad

"This kid is gonna be so spoiled. Like its' daddy" Maze added with a low growl at the end, still stating her hatred towards Lucifer for leaving her without an invitation to go back to Hell.

She turns to me and asked, "So, what now?"

"Trixie will be back from school soon, so it's best if we continue the investigation tomorrow by talking with the family" I clearly instructed, Maze nodded to my plan before we both exited out of the bedroom.

Afterwards, I travelled back home alone while Maze decided to spend her night at Lux partying and drinking. She did have some doubts on whether to leave me alone while being pregnant if I case something bad happens to me, such as more demon attacks or crazy priests, but despite all of that I kindly reminded Maze that I will be fine on my own. I evoked when Linda was telling me about how Maze used to stalk Linda while she was pregnant with Charlie, it was a bit crazy at the time.

In the late afternoon, I jumped back to my laptop continuing my research of baby toys and stuff. It wasn't before long when Trixie arrived back home after being picked off by one of her friend's mum. She entered inside with a blissful smile which made me pleased to know that she had a good day at school.

I closed my laptop and faced my daughter with a welcoming grin, "Hey sweetie, how was school?"

"Great" Trixie walked over to me as I leaned forwards and softly kissed her on her forehead with my hand gently stroked the back of her head. She was still holding that blissful smile as she swings her bag around to the front of her body and added, "I've made something for you."

"Really, then lets' see" I cheered as I swing myself around to fully face Trixie.

Trixie opened the zip over her bag and carefully pulled out a scrolled piece of large paper, she unrolled the paper and revealed to me another piece of her paintings. She drew three stick-like figures in the centre of the page with the yellow beach and the blue ocean in the background with tall, green palm trees. I could tell that the left figure was me by my height and the fact that she has blonde hair like me. The right figure was Trixie herself in a red dress and the third figure that was drawn in middle between us was a small baby with black hair, blue eyes and a happy smile.

"Ah, Trixie" my eyes were filled with amazement and delight as I viewed Trixie's whole drawing of us with the baby as one happy family.

"You like it?" she asked.

"No, monkey, I love it" I replied as I kissed on the top of her forehead again showing my appreciation.

"Is this us on the beach?" I straight finger circled around the large picture.

"Yeah, that's you and me and the baby" Trixie pointed at her characteristic figures.

"I only had a pink pencil for the baby's blanket. But, I don't care if it's a boy or a girl" Trixie noted, same for me as I don't care if the baby is a boy or a girl, as long it is safe and healthy.

Trixie handed me the large picture as she started scooping something else from her bag. Her tiny hand pulled out another large drawing similar to the first one except she has added something else in it. By the bottom centre of the page were me, Trixie and the baby while by the top right was a grey plane with a male figure shown in a window. This character had horns drawn on his head and it clued me as to whom it really was.

"And I've drawn another similar picture for Lucifer. See him in the plane flying back from Britain" Trixie explained as she pointed to her drawing of Lucifer, "So, if we send this one to him. Then he'll know about the baby and will want to come back."

"That is…" I deeply adored how Trixie had high hopes for us getting Lucifer back, but at the same time, it breaks my heart as I have to crush those hopes and dreams. I finished my sentence in a low tone, "Very thoughtful of you, Trixie."

"Can we post this tomorrow?" she stared up at me with a large amount of hope swirling in the centre of her eyes.

I didn't answer back as I laid my focus on her second drawing where she drew Lucifer in a plane coming back to L.A. I could imagine Lucifer travelling back on a plane in the first place, relaxed in a comfortable chair bed with a glass of red wine in his hand. Then I remembered that he has those huge, wide, white, gorgeous wings of his that could lift him up so far up in the sky. Could picture him flying straight out of Hell and gliding over L.A until he lands back at his penthouse or at my home where he would be welcomed with open arms. And, only that could be true.

"You're crying" Trixie noticed in a sad tone, even I didn't realise that I was crying, "Mum, I'm sorry."

"No, baby, you didn't make me cry" I denied as I quickly rubbed off any more tears from sliding down my chin. I took in a deep breathe in to calm down my fast-pacing heart.

"I know you miss Lucifer. I miss him too. Why can't he come home?" Trixie stared up at me with her sad, desperate eyes

"Trixie, listen, where Lucifer is right now, it's an um…" it harder for me to tell a huge lie to Trixie than to anyone because she is my precious daughter and all I wanted was her happiness. I wondered hard of what are the right words to say. Starting to drift into a deep thought until I slowly developed a plain story to tell, "It's a tough business place he's working in. And, it's even tougher for him to leave right now because if he leaves then things will get badly communicated for the business."

"So, Lucifer will never come back?" Trixie asked the only question that I have repeatedly been asking myself for the last two months, and possibly the others, have been wondering about. Lucifer even said it himself that there's a big chance for him not returning, and how much I wanted to deny that fact but I deep down I knew that Lucifer was right.

"Never is a long time" I replied, even though I know that we might never see Lucifer again, but perhaps he could slip out from Hell for just a short moment to meet with us here in L.A. I continued, "He's just stuck in something at the moment. And it will probably take a very long time for him to get out."

I watched how all of Trixie's faith was completely wiped out from her faith and sadness blooms in her eyes. It breaks my heart to see my daughter in this horrible state, so I decided to change the subject a bit.

"But, we can definitely send this to him. Because he loves your drawings" I tried to make Trixie focus on her drawings instead of wondering why Lucifer left or why he might never come back. But, I wanted Trixie to remember all the good things to remember about Lucifer as I stated, "And, I bet he will admire this every time he looks at it."

Trixie responded with the edge of her lip lifting up as I thought she was growing to show a small smile, but she didn't. It wasn't much however it was enough for me to see how Trixie was trying to understand the situation. I wished I could tell her the truth, I wished she was enough to understand why some unexplained things have happened, and I wished that I didn't have to keep some secrets from my own daughter or lie about them to avoid suspicions. I wished everything would go back to normal.

But, most of all, I wished Lucifer was here.

Darkness quickly consumes the summer sky during the night time as I was tucking myself in my bed. Wanting to get have an early sleep in so in the morning I would feel well prepared and untired when working on the Lee Garner case. But, my eye couldn't shut as I had so much on my mind, but it wasn't Lucifer that I was thinking about, it was about the baby.

Since my acceptance of wanting to raise this baby, I forgot that this little creature that was growing inside of me could be something more. A half-human, and half angel or devil, I wasn't exactly sure. I laid my back against the head of the bed, gazed down at my belly, and gently laid my right-hand flat on the surface.

"Hey, baby" I whispered and straightaway it felt very strange, but it almost felt satisfying. When I was pregnant with Trixie, I used to talk to her like almost every day, but this is my first time talking to the baby.

"I know you can't hear me, and if you did you'll probably think of me like a madwoman talking to her belly" I joked as I know the baby is just a tiny, little thing gradually growing in my womb and it won't be able to hear me. But I didn't really care, because there were a few things I needed to say things. And, it felt reassuring for me to think that the baby is hearing my truthful words and was acknowledging these thoughts.

"But, I want to say something to you… that I'm sorry" I started before sucking in a sharp breathe.

"I'm sorry that in the future you might feel slightly different from others, and I might not possibly understand what you might go through" I started. If this baby will be born half angel or devil, then I bet that it will feel distant to others as everyone else will be fully human. Linda was thinking the same thing when she was pregnant with Charlie. I added in a positive tone, "But, I will try to support you in any way I can."

"I'm sorry that I might be a bit overprotective when you get here, only because you might not be well-liked by some people. And it's not because of you, you are so special. It's because they don't like your dad" I reasoned as I know that not everyone likes Lucifer as he was the rebel angel who fought against God then he became the Devil.

It's in every parent's nature to worry for their child, but I would be deeply anxious and ambiguous on where my child is. I know that the demon kidnapped Charlie to replace Lucifer as Hell's new ruler as Lucifer refused to go back. But, the fact is that mainly every single human on the planet recognise Lucifer as evil incarnated, and the fact that possibly every angel in Heaven hates Lucifer. What would everyone think or do when they find out that Lucifer will have a child soon? Will they see it as an abomination? Thinking that this child follows its' father's footsteps and rebel and fight against God. Will they want to send the baby away? Or worse, destroy it?

I don't want them to think like that about my child, but most of all, I don't want the baby to think like that too. I want the baby to know what kind of a man Lucifer really is, "They may think that your dad is a bad man but in truth, he's… he's the most wonderful man I have ever met."

Memories began flooding in my mind of the great times I had with Lucifer; the bullet necklace as his birthday gift to me, our dance, his warm kisses, his cocky smile, and his attractive eyes that always catches my gaze. Even though remembering him usually hurts me, but daydreaming about him now was actually filling my heart with warmth and bliss.

"He's funny and I hope you'll get his sense of honour, and I pray you'll get my brains than his because God knows what he thinks most of the time" I chuckled. Thinking at how Lucifer can mostly think about sex or doing some wild and unexpected.

"He's brave as he has risked his life to save others, to save me" I grew a wide and blissful smile, "He's caring, charming, energetic, there so much more of why I love him."

"And I know that one day, he will love you as much as I love you. And your big sister, and your aunts and uncle" I mentioned how his huge family will accept and love this innocent baby.

"And, your dad's name is Lucifer Morningstar" I reveal, unknowingly to me that I shred a single tear of gaiety, "And you should proud to be his kid. Because, I know that you will grow to be strong, confident, and will fight for what's right. Just like he was."

I could imagine a small kid with similar looks and personalities to Lucifer's playing about his older cousin, Charlie and his sister, Trixie. Probably learn some old tricks up the sleeves from his dad, because I know Lucifer can have his mysterious ways through almost everything.

"Goodnight baby" I kissed the tip of my fingers then softly pressed those fingers on top of my belly. Then, I reached over to my lamp and turned it off before I could fell into a peaceful sleep.