Chapter 10
Lucifer's Pov
After leaving the detective alone at the motel, I drove back to my penthouse and stayed there. With all the time I had then, I've been thinking about why the detective was angry, I tried to communicate to the detective about my thoughts and feeling, but after every time she seems to push me away or ignore my messages. All I was trying to say was that perhaps having a baby is not a good idea.
Been awake all night just trying to figure what should I say or should have said to her the next day. The chilling breeze through my shadowy worsen the goosebumps on my arms when I was thinking about the little spawn growing inside the detectives' womb. My head was filled with questions about what the detective was thinking, I mean she must have been in a struggle when she discovered the pregnancy.
And, it's not like the detective wants the baby… does she?
I mean, why should she? This spawn will half me and we both should know that it'll probably not be a good thing. I know that she already had a child and raised the little urchin well, but why would the detective want to keep a child which was half me, half the Devil. Maybe I was pushing her too hard, so if I give her a bit of space then slowly suggest again that having a baby is not a good idea. Then, she might hopefully understand that we can't have a child. I can't have a child.
The next morning, I slept in late as the overwhelming thoughts in my head and yet they were somehow stuck in there like a parasite. Raised the top half of my body up off from my comfortable, cold bed, I gazed to the empty left side of the bed and evoked the times where the detective usually sleeps in. Every day I spent in Hell, I dreamt of wanting to hold my darling again every night, I imagined touching her silky skin and my hand waving through her golden hair. I wanted to have that feeling again before going back to Hell, because I leave it unattended again then the demons will rebel and attack on Earth once more and they might cause more chaos.
Once, I was fully awake with the sun brightly shining its' golden light upon my face and I felt its' warmth touching my cold skin. Wrapped my red dressing-grown over my naked body, strolling down to the bar where I was about to pour myself a glass of juicy scotch before my phone buzzed as I received a message from the detective saying;
Alex was found dead in his trailer.
Don't bother coming over as Dan has covered the scene.
Meet me at the precinct. I'll be late though. X
The small shock didn't hit me too hard but I was deeply flabbergasted at the sad news of the actor's sudden death. Knowing that the famous show 'Diablo' was going to be fully cancelled because when stuff like this happens, they don't recast with another actor to replace the main star of the show.
After getting changed into a pair of black trousers, a light, purple shirt with a black blazer above it and a purple handkerchief in the top side pocket. I drove down through some busy roads of L.A until I reached to the precinct, however when I got there the detective was nowhere to be seen. Sat at her desk as I waited and waited for the detective, but she was late than usual, meanwhile myriads of officers and detectives began filling up the bright precinct. I tried calling her, but the detective didn't pick up, making me feel apprehensive and I thought something else has happened to her again. Gratefully, I received a text from her saying;
On my way now x
Now, I've got some time on my hand, I began brainstorming what Dr. Linda advised me to do; to tell the detective about my feelings and that I need understand how the detective is feeling. If the detective is struggling with the hell-spawn pregnancy thingy, then she doesn't need to have it now, and neither do I.
By the corner of my eye, I noticed Detective Douche sitting alone at his usual desk and it's been some time since I had a good mocking talk with the douche. But, then I remembered that it has been only two months on Earth since my leaving, meaning it has only been two months since Charlotte's death. It would be rude of me to joke about when he might be in a terrible state, I understand his pain of losing a loved one when I lost my brother Uriel. I must admit, I wasn't handling it well enough than I believed I was at the time.
"Daniel, I need some advice in an area I assume you have extensive expertise" I concurred and continued even if Daniel held a botherless look on his unpleasant face, yet I continued, "When the detective when pregnant with Beatrice, did she often pushes you away or ignores you for some time?"
I assumed Daniel was going to straightaway give me a simple and clear answer, instead, the arrogant human dropped his pen and held a fake grin before standing up from his chair, "Nope. I am not playing that game anymore."
"Excuse me?" I held a questionable stare.
"You say something insulting, stupid, but... kind of funny, and I just shrug it off. It was our schtick" he muttered until his tone became lower and I watched a small flame of hatred grow in the centre of his eyes, "But we are not friends. Not anymore."
I slightly shook my head showing how clueless I am, "I know I may have mocked you in the past in a friendly way. But, have I done anything that really upset you, Daniel?"
"Yeah. You did" he growled underneath his breathe.
I rolled my lips in before asking, "Well, mind sharing?"
Then, Daniel a held 'pissed off' look on his face like he was expecting me to already know the answer. He held a hard focus on me as I felt his annoyance rattling through his gritting teeth behind his seal lips as he revealed, "You're the reason Charlotte's dead."
After shockingly slapping his answer across my face, my mind rewinds back to the night Charlotte was taken away to the hospital after she was murdered. I stood beside the detective and we sadly watched Daniel crying over Charlotte's body. Instead of arguing against Daniel that might increase his rage, I return in a sedate and empathetic tone, "Okay, Daniel, I sympathise with what you're going through, I really do. But I refuse to be a scapegoat for which something I bear no responsibility."
"What? No funny quip to that?" he huffed as though he was predicting me to mock about him or how it was linked to Charlotte's death. Sir Douche should have known by now that I would never joke around the murder of a dear friend, especially with Charlotte.
"Trust me, Daniel, you're not the first human who blames me for any wrongdoings. And, you certainly won't be the last" I commented before walking away as I didn't want to waste my time with Daniel childish moaning and letting him settle his blame on me.
"But, hey I can tell me one thing about your question" his words brought my focus back as I turned back around and faced the complex human. I was tempted to just walk away from him but if the Douche has some stable guidance about the tiny problem I need to fix. Sir Docuhe stood only a metre away and answered my question, "When someone does push you away. It means that you don't want you anymore. Get the idea."
I know that Daniel has never gotten into my head, but his sharp words actually painfully pinned through my heart and let it slightly bleed. Unconsciously, I strolled away from Detective Douche as my mind was still repeating his haunting words. Questioning whether or not I might lose the detective because of this unexpected pregnancy, I don't want to lose her now since we have only just found each other again.
My worried eyes wandered ahead and spotted Miss Lopez working in the lab, the only human in the precinct now who could actually give me some good vibes to lift my spirits and fade my sorrows away. I walked into the quiet and bright lab where Miss Lopez was looking through her small microscope.
The sweet human looks up at my arrival and welcomed me with a wide and cheerful smile, "Hey luce, you're alright?"
"Besides getting exasperate by sir douche. I'm fine" I truthfully answered before deeply exhaling trying to squeeze all the frustration out of me. Suddenly, my nose twitched as I picked a usual scent in the lab while y eyes rapidly scanned around the lab seeing if there was anything odd or new inside that could cause that smell. it smelt familiar like I was back in Lux or in another bar, I questioned, "What's that smell?"
Miss Lopez was about to ask what I was talking about before she quickly held her tongue, shook her head and denied "Oh, it's nothing."
Her lie visibly escaped through her red lips as I narrowed my curious eyes and pressured my gaze upon her tired face, "I've been drinking since the seven thousand. I can catch the smell of Sazerac from a single drop."
"Alright, I may have a few drinks last night" she confessed, though I don't understand why Miss Lopez should feel guilty. There's no shame in having a few fancy drinks.
"Been partying a lot, have we Miss Lopez?" I cheekily grinned at Miss Lopez embracing her wide side before I asked myself, "I wonder what else I've missed?"
"Not partying, just drinking?" she corrected me while continuing filing through her forensics papers.
I was pleased to that she was having a good time, however I must admit I have seen Miss Lopez so down before. Ever since the first day we meet, I could have never imagen Miss Lopez as a big drinker as I could sense that she has been for a long while. I nicely asked, "How many?"
"Oh you… I few glasses and stuff. Like ten" her answer anxiously raised my eyebrows making me think that my sudden absence has deeply hurt Miss Lopez because she was already sure when Charlotte died. I was a bit surprised that she was raging at me already for leaving them without saying goodbye, maybe she must have when Michael was here impersonating me.
"Right… anyway, any news about our poor, icky actor?" I restart a new conversation to rise up the fallen blissful vibes.
"Yeah, Alex had the same stab wounds on his chest like the ones on Matt's chest, which means they were both killed with the same weapon. And, possibly by the same killer" Miss Lopez explained as she presented her forensic notes on both victims as I scanned over both of them.
"What's that?" she swiftly changed the subject as Miss Lopez focused on the papers I held in my hand.
"These are the personal notes from Alex who played Diablo" I flipped through a few pages of the white script, I smiley commented, "I must say, Alex had a fascinating insight into the character. Some wild theories about self-loathing, but we can't get it all right.
Miss Lopez tilted her head so she could see the episode title clear and read it out, "Diablo in Space?"
"It was a well-written episode" I admired how Matt used my life used my characteristic ideas to create his tv show.
"Yeah. It's a shame that we'll never get to see it" Miss Lopez's words suddenly popped an idea in my head.
"Or maybe, we can" a wolfish grin grew on my face as an idea popped into my mind which flood Miss Lopez's eyes with inquisitiveness.
A minute later, Miss Lopez and I were in the big, glass room where it was flooded with a bit more heat that crashed through our bodies. I had the original script and found another one for Miss Lopez to read. I was standing at the edge of the room where the tv screen was hanging behind me, while Miss Lopez was sitting on the end of the long table before starting to read out the lines of 'Detective Dancer' in a high-pitch voice, "I can't believe you pulled it off, Diablo. We made it back to Earth piloting a hijacked space shuttle. Insane!"
"You can say that again, Dancer. A devil in the heavens. But crime, it must be punished" I read out the next line. I approached the character as myself because, of course, Diablo was based originally on me.
Waiting for the next line from Detective Dance, however Miss Lopez kept her mouth shut with an uncertain stare, I lowered down the script and curiously asked, "What?"
"Can you talk in an American accent?" she requested.
Offered as I was, wondering what was wrong with my original British accent, "What on Earth for?"
"It would fit with the character, the original actor did it in an American accent" she reasoned.
"Well I'm no actor, Miss Lopez" I argued and I quietly snarled beneath my breathe to myself in a low tone in vexation, "Besides, I don't want to sound like my dickhead brother."
"Right, because you're a method actor" Miss Lopez jokingly winked as she still believed that I am a method actor pretending to be the Devil.
"Let just continue as we were, okay?" I suggested before I sucked in a wide smile on my face, "Big smile, just have fun with it."
Miss Lopez shook her shoulders and cleared her throat before she continued mimicking the character as she read out the next line, "Another case closed, Diablo. So, does that mean I can... put my bra back on?"
She ended on a bemused tone when she finished her line, then we both reflected the same surprised look before I opined, "Oof. Well, it's not Shakespeare, is it?"
The sound of the glass door widening open draw our eyes off from the script pages and we gaze at the detective who had her dirty-blonde hair tied up again, dressed in a pair of black jeans and shirt with a reddish-purple jacket over it. I welcomed her with a big, happy grin as I had a stunning view of the detective like a beautiful angel walked into the room, "Detective."
"Hey" she stepped inside with a small smile as the detective was carrying a folder filled with paperwork in her hand.
"Why were you late?" I asked concerning her usual lateness earlier.
"Oh, morning sickness" the detective answered in a calm tone.
Worriedness bloom across my face as I stuttered, "You didn't tell me that you were sick."
"Oh no, it's part of the whole pregnancy deal" she explained which caused a long, awaked silence between us. Even Miss Lopez was still and quiet like she was afraid to make a sudden move to break the silence.
"So, what's going on here?" the detective thankfully changes the subject.
"Oh, we're just rehearsing the last episode of Diablo" Miss Lopez answered for us, "I'm playing Dancer"
"Yes, and you can guess I'm playing" I waved my hands from up to down in front of my body.
"Of course" the detective nodded as though she never even needed to wonder who I was performing as. She gazed over Miss Lopez's shoulder and stared down at the front page and read out the title, "Diablo in Space?"
"Fascinating episode, detective. Diablo was going to solve a crime in space. Matt had a wide imagination" my words didn't seem to make the detective intrigued with the episode, maybe she was still feeling a bit under the weather from this morning.
"Yeah. And, what was Dance doing? A zero-G striptease?" the detective guested as my eyes widen in shock as she has just read my mind.
"Have you read this already?" I asked, not realising that the detective meant it as a joke until I watched her roll her eyes.
The detective faces Miss Lopez as she held the same forensic work papers in her hands, "Ella, I've just had a look at the forensic report. It confirms that the victims were stabbed by someone right-handed. But, it also says that Keri has repetitive stress injuries in her wrists. So, how could she manage to do it?"
She handed over the folder to Miss Lopez and the scientist scans through the paper while theorising, "Well, I guess it'd be highly unlikely that she could stab someone with the force that made those wounds."
"I'm just gonna go and check on Keri. See if she has anything else to say" the detective decided before she sauntered towards the glass and exited out of the large room. I shortly frowned at how the detective left without asking me to come along, maybe she preferred being alone at this time or perhaps she doesn't really need me anymore.
"Ah, look!" Miss Lopez suddenly squeaked as she continued reading the script, her face bloomed a wide and blissful smile, "Diablo was going to propose"
"What?" I gasped before rushing over to her side and seeing where she was reading.
"See" she pointed her finger at a sentence where she was reading, "Diablo hides a black box with an engagement ring in his pocket."
"That's um… a big twist" I speechlessly mutter while Miss Lopez held her hand upon the centre of her chest, guessing that story twist melted her heart.
I knew that Matt had to somewhat change the characters, but I never imagine him creating a Devil character like myself to be a stand-up man instead of using my playful personality for the character. The engagement story made my head rewind back to the night when the detective told me about the pregnancy as I could feel the bombshell surprise hitting me and all of the confusion flooding back to me. When Miss Lopez was about to move her lips, I feared that she had the same idea and was about to mention it, "Hey, imagine if they…"
"Well, you certainly did so much prep on my character, Miss Lopez" I interrupted and eliminated the subject because I didn't want Miss Lopez to mention anything about the pregnancy as I didn't want to think about it at the moment. I noticed there were some handwritten notes on the side of the script besides the printed paragraphs and dialogues and thought that these would make a good distraction.
"Oh no, these are Diablo's notes. Here. Previously they'd all been about the character, but these new ones I can't understand" Miss Lopez pointed at the last two notes written near the bottom of the script.
I scanned over the pages with the notes written down which made me narrow my eyes in a bizarre gaze, "Weapon equals Baphomet's blade. Yearning equals freedom."
Miss Lopez made a cringy face, "Yearning?
"I know. Feels a bit icky hearing the word" I read through more of the script pages and I noticed some of his notes from the actor before I grew a wide grin, "I knew the man was a genius!"
"How?"
"These are Diablo's notes on the case! He was investigating Matt Owen's murder as well, and look" I indicated as I read out more of Diablo's adroitness notes, "Killer equals number two. Keri was the show's number two. I can't believe it, but he actually solved it! Oh, Diablo, is there anything you can't do?"
At first, I wondered why a brainless man like Alex himself would have taken up such a phenomenon character, yet I realised that that perplex human has actually got some brains. Miss Lopez questioned my theory which I had no answer for, "But if Chloe was right about Keri's writs. Then, how could Keri kill both Matt and Alex?"
"And, why would Keri kill the main star of the show?" I suspected as I reread the notes on the script, trying to think like Diablo and get into his mindset. If he was suspecting a person who was in second place behind the main boss or star of a product. Would they have killed the one in charge in rage or jealousy? It fits Keri because she is the second one-in-charge pf the entire show, yet the detective was right, it didn't feel completely right at all. Then, I surmised a theory, "Unless… there's another 'number two.'"
Then it finally hit me, "I've got it!"
I rushed out of the glass room without explaining to Miss Lopez leaving the sweet woman clueless. When I stopped in the centre of the precinct but there was no sighting of the detective anywhere. Despite having a bitter argument with Sir Douche a while ago, I walked over to him and quickly asked, "Douche, where's the detective"
"She left to see the other actress" Douche answered.
My eyes widen in fear, a large lump was plunged in the centre of my dry throat, I gasped, "Oh shit."
Chloe's Pov
Keri was no help at all once I tried questioning her again, but Keri kept on repeating to herself that she didn't kill Matt and it got worse when she requested a lawyer. Although, I didn't think it would necessary because even if Keri had the mean and the motive to kill Matt, she didn't have the opportunity especially with her sure right hand. This was just one of those cases that seem to have a simple answer yet has a puzzling conclusion.
My first thought was to go back to Lucifer and we could brainstorm some theories together like we usually do, however I actually needed some space and time away from the awkwardness and his evasive behaviour. But, at the same time, I wanted to solve this case as soon as possible so I decided to travel alone back to the film studios to give myself some me-time. I figured of visiting the star actress, Brianna and to see if she was okay since her co-worker and producer are both dead and she might be afraid of being the next victim. She might also know something else about Keri and her link to Matt's murder, it's worth an ask.
The studio was more quiet than usual as I assume everyone was packing away since the show might be cancelled now that their head producer and main star are both gone. After parking my car, I walked over and knocked on the trailer's door before waiting for a few seconds for Brianna to open her door as I greeted her with a friendly smile, "Hi Brianna."
"Oh hey, detective" Brianna reflected the same smile as she steps down from her trailer till she was on ground level, "Can I say I'm so sorry about yesterday, I hoped we didn't cause any trouble."
"Fortunately, no. I'm just thought you'd want to know that we arrested Keri for the murders" I explained.
"Thank you. I wish I could say I was surprised, but... Keri never stopped bitching about Matt" she sighed in disbelief until she changed her voice into how Keri sounds like, "He cut all my jokes. He was a hack. He only let us order Tender Greens for lunch."
I laughed at her short performance but then it shortly faded away, "Yeah, I just wish I had more motive why Keri would want to kill your co-star. It didn't fit in much."
"Well, maybe he actually figured it out that she did it. I mean... He wasn't the brightest bulb, but... he was surprisingly insightful" Brianna explained as she grew a sad smile, I recognised that sad smile as I have worn it many times. After Lucifer left for Hell, people from the precinct and home kept on mentioning his name or maybe might say something remotely similar about him, I act like I was fine but inside I felt my heart being crushed again and again. Like Hell on Earth.
"You two were close. I'm sorry" I sympathise with what Brianna was feeling right now. It reminds me of how Lucifer became close and how my feelings for him grew from being just plain partners to being good friends. I remembered the times when I thought I lost Lucifer for good; the time when Malcom shot him in the stomach or when I thought he died while saving two boys from being poisoned by Doctor Jason Carlisle.
"The thing is, even though he didn't get things like others to do, but that what makes him great and what got him here. And, over time, we became good friends, and he actually surprises me a couple of times when we worked together. I know we only worked with each other for like a few episodes, but we were good partners" it felt like a sea wave of her words came softly crashing to me as they reminded me of the great times I had with Lucifer; from being partners, to good friends, then becoming a lovely couple. Yet, a sorrowful smile grew on my face knowing all of that will change forever, because I think Lucifer has finally decided that he does not want to have anything to do with his baby.
I was nearly lost in a daydream until I was brought back down to Earth when I caught Brianna's voice, "I know it sounds silly to a real cop."
"No, it... It doesn't sound silly. I think I know exactly what you're talking about" I replied happily.
"I'm going on a break if you want a drink or anything" Brianna kindly offered, "Since this is going to be my last day here for the show, might as well enjoy while it last."
"Sure" I nodded since I do have some spare instead of going to face Lucifer again.
Brianna lead me inside of the studio where the film crew set-up an inside building of a bar that looks extremely familiar to Lux expect they changed the name to 'Hades.' While it does have its' similarities, I could spot a few differences; such as Lux does have stripper poles in the centre of the club, Hades has its' large, symbolic letter covering around the room and it has neon lights shape as flamboyantly flames across the dark red walls.
"So, this is Diablo's club" I scanned the entire fake club while standing on the stripper pole stage which was in the centre of the club. It brought me back to when I first walked into Lux for the first time and meet Lucifer on the first day of investigation.
"Hades, where Christie Dancer was a stripper before she joined the police force to solve her father's murder" Brianna explained as she was walking towards the bar counter.
"Sound like someone I know" I whispered to myself. Lucifer must have told Matt more about my backstory like how I followed in my father's footsteps by joining the police force.
"Don't worry, one of these bottles, there is actual booze in it" Brianna grabbed a large bottle of Jameson and two shot glasses as she walked back to me, "A little secret from the scenes where Detective Dancer has to get a confession with a lap dance."
I chuckled ironically considering how Matt used the real version of myself as a smart detective and transform completely for Dancer's character to act sexually. Brianna carefully poured the liquid into the two shot glasses and handed me one of them, I nicely denied her offer, "Oh, thank you but I can't. Not on duty."
"Really? But, you did help us solve Matt's murder. So, celebrate" she tried persuading me once more for a shot.
"Trust me I would. But, I'm actually pregnant" I truthfully answered
"No way! Congrats!" she widely enlivens at the joyful news.
I toothy grinned at her cheerful reaction, "Thanks."
"Well, here to new beginnings" Brianna carefully clicked the sides of the shot glasses.
"Cheers" I chuckled as I watched Brianna gulp down the two shots in a second each right before she made a cringy face. She loudly gasped and I could smell the alcohol breathing out from her mouth, it felt nice to hear a supportive voice after feeling a bit neglected by Lucifer as he didn't intend to listen and get interested in talking about the baby.
"So, how did you get into this kind of show?" I concurred a new conversation just to lighten the mood.
"Well, I was cheap, my agent was cheap, and this… was worth ton of millions" Brianna poured herself another shot before straightaway gulping it down in my mouth.
"Slow it down there" I advised in a gentle tone, because I didn't want to have to deal with a tipsy actress after she'll have like ten shots.
"But, in truth, it's literally hell on Earth you know" Brianna began moaning, "Saying those cheesy lines, wearing those exotic clothes. Thank God it's over!"
My narrow eyes were flooded with puzzlement as I tilted my head slightly to the side while listening to her slur words chuckling from her smelly mouth, "Now that I'm free, I can take the roles that I could finally do whatever I want… I'm sorry. I'm rambling"
"No. No, it's just, you said this was an amazing gig and that you were grateful to have it" I reminded her with a questionable gaze.
"That's true. I was, but you gotta move on" she sputtered as her tone changed from moaning to trembling, "When a gig ends, sometimes it's easier to focus on the bad. It's actor stuff. We're crazy."
"Yeah, yeah. I totally get it" I nodded understandably, acting as though I fall for it when I spotted how her face was palely painted with regretfulness, "I was an actress once, and I understand how difficult it is for actors to try to stand out and be recognised for their talents."
"Exactly!" Brianna held a pleasing grin, thinking that I was on her side and I finally understood what she was saying.
"And now you can showcase your talent on a show that lets you" I continued chatting in a friendly tone, "Well, for example, the impression you did of Keri. I mean, that was really... really good. Dead-on."
"You think so?"
I nodded, "Yeah, in fact, it would be nearly impossible to tell you two apart over the… phone."
Then it clicked.
We only heard Keri making the orders from the phone so we couldn't actually tell if it was Keri herself, or someone else. Brianna darted her gaze from me to the bottle, acting like she's still fine but shadowing her eyes from mine didn't stop me from noticing some regret plotting in the middle of her eyes. Slowly, I began lowing down my hand down to the side of my hips, the tip of my fingers quickly coiled around my gun's grip and pulled it out. Aimed it at Brianna but she was always prepared as she used the bottle to whack my gun out from my grasp. Suddenly smashed the glass bottle and caused the end parts to be sharp and pointy before Brianna aimed the sharp end directing at me.
"Brianne… wait!" I raised my hands as I was already rapidly panting in fear knowing that I am in a dangerous spot with a killer in front of me and that I need to protect myself and the baby from her. Gradually, I was walking back down the small, stage steps while keeping eye contact with Brianna while she was following me, "I get it. I really do. Killing your showrunner for holding you back, and I get you hiding the vape cartridge to frame your co-star. That was clever, and that's why you came to the motel yesterday to put it there for us to find it."
"But, why would you kill Alex when you wanted us to think he was the murderer?" I questioned trying to get into the killer's head and understand her motives for killing her co-worker.
"Because that idiot 'deduced my yearning' and figured out what I did! He was honestly sweet, in a dopey way, and he was meant to be my friend" Brianna revealed as her voice was half-covered with sorrow and rage, feeling betrayed by her new friend who wasn't going to let her get away with murder. I nodded slowly showing my understanding as Brianna continued, "But he said I had to turn myself in or he will tell the cops. And, I wasn't going let him take away the freedom I almost got myself. I am not spending the next six seasons with my main prop as a stripper pole!"
"But, why couldn't you just quit? And they'll let your character die or something?" I asked. I know that are a lot of actors in the film industry who wished to leave their shows for something better or for other cases.
"Are you kidding? With that kind of character, they'll be wanting Dancer to last for ages. Doing lap dances, flirting with suspects, being the mistress of seduction" Brianna explained while I was secretly lowering my right hand down to the side pocket of my jacket where my phone was kept.
"Don't!" Brianna's roar sent shivers down my spine and fear pulled my empty hands up at head level. Her angry eyes quickly melted away when I felt her stare dart down to my stomach then back my face with half guilt as she changed her voice into a calmer tone, "I don't want to hurt you."
"I know" I was calm and unafraid proving to Brianna that I don't want to start a fight or do any rational. However, beneath my skin that was filled with goosebumps, I was frightened if Brianna might do something threatening towards me or to the baby.
"I understand what you have been through, really. I understand when you thought you had the perfect plan for your future. Then, it all crumbled. Doesn't go exactly as you hoped" I sympathise with her feelings with mine. How I had a perfect plan about letting Lucifer slowly adjust the pregnancy news and maybe he will back as accept a good idea of being a father and we could work through this together as partners. But now, I feel like I'm losing him.
"Brianne, this path isn't going to get better. You'll only get into a much deeper and darker pit than you already are" I sedately slink into the chauvinist's mind and try to persuade her not to make another bad decision, "Why don't you just put that down. Please."
Leisurely, the sharp, bottle glass bottle in her right hand was lowing down, thinking that Brianna was finally at the point of giving up, stop running because there's no point. Until, Brianna swiftly changed her mind and aimed the sharp glass bottle directly at me again making my stomach gnarly twisted, "I'm sorry. I've come this far. And, I've not given up now."
Her eyes were too attached to mine, Brianna didn't notice how my right hand reached to another bottle standing on the bar counter. I tenaciously grabbed the top end of a bottle and swing it over till it banged down Brianna's right hand where she was holding the broken bottle. Once she lowered down her guard by my unexpected attack. I took the opportunity to leap in and used my right fist to strongly punch her in the face.
Brianna dropped down the ground like falling down to a rocky shore, as she was groaning in pain as her jaw was sore from my hard punch. I quickly picked up the half-broken bottle with the sharp edges, so Brianna won't have anything else to fight off with and at least, I had something to defend myself.
I pulled my phone out from my jacket and was about to call for back-up until a certain British voice rapidly caught my attention, "So, Diablo was right. The killer was number two, on the actors' call sheet."
Lucifer rushed down the steps by the edge of the bar with three police officers chasing behind him "You okay?"
"Yeah" I replied with a breathless answer while I was trying to slow down the pace of my heart. Once it was in a steady beating, I gazed up at Lucifer with a curious stare, "How long have you been here?"
"Just arrived actually. But, I guess, I should have realised that you had that totally handled on your own" he kindly commented, I loved how Lucifer says some admiring remarks on how strong and confident I am in doing a man's job without help.
Lucifer stans around the set-up bar stage as he held a half-impressed smile, "As much as I appreciate the effort, I think I prefer my own club."
"Same" I agreed in a light-hearted grin.
"And I definitely prefer the way you are, Detective. Though I'm sure your tips would have been great" Lucifer joked with an endearing smirk however I was laughing.
And there is was again, Lucifer saying something that tells me that he prefers our old lives before he left Earth, instead of giving a thought about having a new life that involves the baby. When he noticed the disapproval view on my face, Lucifer grew a concerned look, "Detective? Did I say something?"
"You just said quite enough, actually" I shortly answered in a pitying tone as I held up a fake smile, "I'm going home"
I silently walked past Lucifer as I left him clueless and speechless as he couldn't understand what he said wrong, which pisses me off even more. Heading towards the exit door, until Lucifer called out behind me, "Did you still want that talk?"
My feet froze and I slowly turned around and faced him again, I saw the desperation in Lucifer's eyes of how he doesn't want to lose me. I nodded, "Yeah, at my place later tonight, eight."
After setting the time, I once again left Lucifer alone and exited the stage and drove home alone. Along with the journey, my mind about pondering about what I should say to him tonight. Once I reached back home, I asked Dan to look after Trixie for a while then I can collect her later, so I can have time with Lucifer to have our serious talk. Time moved slower than I anticipated, I didn't eat anything for dinner because my two months pregnancy has cursed a refreshing taste in my mouth where I could even fancy eating the food I love. As annoying as it was, it wasn't as irritating as me staring down at my watch every ten seconds expecting time to run a bit faster.
Silently sitting on the light, blue sofa, patiently waiting for Lucifer while instead of thinking of all the negative thoughts, I began wondering about Lucifer with our baby. Lucifer cooing it to sleep, carefully bunching the child in his arms so Lucifer could try to get it to sleep and play around with the baby and some new toys. The dreamy thoughts bloomed a blissful smile on my face, I thought to myself, 'Even without this baby, Lucifer would have still been a good dad.'
My ears pricked when I heard a gentle knock on the front door, lifting myself up and speedily strolling towards the door. Opening it wide to see Lucifer patiently standing there, still dressed in his casual suit, the Devil had an ill-lit face was half anxious and slightly confident.
"Hey, come in" I stepped aside giving him room to walk through and Lucifer replied, "Thank you."
After closing the door behind him, I felt the room become warmer when Lucifer walked inside, wasn't sure if it was me feeling nervous or something else. My eyes darted down to his right hand where he was carrying a large bottle of red wine, "What's that?"
"Well, we did solve our fist murder since my return, well not celebrate" he widely smirked as Lucifer pulled out a bottle of red wine.
"Thanks Lucifer, but I can't drink alcohol because it has a bad effect on the baby" I returned a grateful grin at his courteous gift before I pointed my stare down at my stomach.
"Oh, right" Lucifer slowly nodded with a half-witted look on his face, probably think 'I should have remembered.' Deep down, I did appreciate how Lucifer already was already trying to work things out on the small stuff since it was been a bit awkward between us. Then he continued a fake smile in a cheerful tone, "More for me then."
I let the award silence settle for a second before I started over, "Lucifer, I really do appreciate you coming over here."
"Look Lucifer I don't want to pressure you into doing something you're not comfortable with. But since yesterday and today, I've been getting mixed messages from you about how much you want to involve with this baby" my full focus was on him as I gently approach the topic again about the baby.
"Well, it's safe to say that I'm largely involved now that you are carrying my hell-spawn" he deadpanned with a lopsided smile as Lucifer spoke in a half sarcastic tone yet half shameful before he carefully placed the wine bottle down on the nearby side table.
"Okay, never call it that again" I ordered in a subdued tone, narrowing my eyes as I was vexed at how Lucifer used that term to describe his own child. However, Lucifer didn't seem apologetic afterwards which infuriates me a bit but I kept calm, as he was acting very loathly towards his baby.
"Lucifer, I've decided to keep the baby. But, I'm asking you now, if you want it too?" I finally breathed out the question that I have been wanting to ask for a long time.
Guilt was covered over his face although he was expecting some hurt to appear for me, and it happened when he finally softly yet sadly answered, "Detective, I can't have children."
Those small but sharp five words stabbed through my sure heart as they formed a frozen lump in the middle of my throat making me feel like I was about to chock. I advised myself not to be upset or mad because Lucifer had the right to decide whether or not he wanted to be involved with the baby. But after hearing that, it felt like I've losted Lucifer forever.
Lucifer could see the pain hidden behind my eyes as I tried to hold up a straight before even letting a simple tear fall out. Blaming himself, Lucifer started stuttered, "I just can't see myself as a father to our urchin. The spaw… excuse me, the child won't be good with me."
"But, you're great with Trixie. And, she adores you" I gently argued with a nice grin, reminding him of the great times he had with Trixie; the adorable times Trixie hugs him, and how Lucifer played monopoly with the three of us. If he could be around Trixie acting like a good friend to her as he is, then why can't he do the same with our own child?
"That's completely different" Lucifer shakes his head, denying my points.
"How?"
"She's your daughter, detective. When I see the urchin, I see she's a reflection of you. But, when I think of that, I see…" his last words shattered into tiny pieces when Lucifer was talking about the baby as I felt his gaze focused was on my stomach. My face softens when I wondered what Lucifer was about to say next; I theorised perhaps it was about the baby might grow to become a bad vision of himself.
"I see how this is just another part of my father's plan" I knew that it wasn't the original answer Lucifer had in mind, this was just another thought in my head that Lucifer could use as an excuse. Lucifer spun himself around and steps closer to the living room steps, rolling his eyes upwards and began shouting, "Great job dad! You've done it again! You clever bastard!"
"Lucifer!" I yelled bringing Lucifer's attention back to me as I wanted to stop his shouting, before I walked up to him, "Do you honestly believe that this is somehow your dad's plan?"
"Well, of course! He wants to torture me, and what better way than to make me take up the exact role as he is, a bloody father" he hissed in deep rage and annoyance.
"Lucifer, your dad is not involved. I mean, we never even come prepared because you told me angels can't procreate. Even when we found Linda was pregnant with Amenadiel's child, we still didn't use protection" I argued, trying to make Lucifer see sense and trying to make him acknowledge that this was our responsibility, "Don't you get it? This is on us. Not your dad. Us!"
Wanting to deny it yet deep down Lucifer knew that I was right, I took a deep breathe in reminding myself that I wanted a calm talk with Lucifer and not a crash argument. I asked, "Why can't you accept it?"
"Because I don't want to accept it. I never wanted to be a father. I never want any of this" I felt a pitch of fear Lucifer hidden in the back of his throat like the sun being blocked by a punch of misty clouds. He tiredly huffed and closed his eyes like Lucifer wasn't expecting me to understand what he was feeling at that moment and thought that there's no point in explaining again.
"I know it's scary, Lucifer. Trust me, I've been there, I'm a parent too" my voice was soft as dripping honey, because I knew arguing wasn't going to help either of us. I evoked back to when Dan and I first discovered about being pregnant with Trixie I was in shock for a while, but soon after we both became extremely happy. So, I tried to read Lucifer like a dusty book and comprehend Lucifer's trembling feelings however my words didn't make Lucifer very sceptical. I added, "But, after a while, it won't feel scaring anymore."
Lucifer was obliged by my small advice yet he still wasn't convinced, "I'm not scared. I just don't want a child now, not as much as you wanted it."
I slightly dropped my jaw as I was completely dumbstruck, my voice dropped as I quietly gasped, "Excuse me?"
"Well, you're a successful parent and you know this stuff. So, of course, you would have been fine and happy about having another urchin. But, not me. I can't" he explained but I was gawking at him in an unbelievable stare after listening to his claptrap.
My breathe hitched as I just stared up at the Devil, I couldn't believe he actually said that to me, to my face. I really tried to be patient before now, I felt some anger burning my veins by his indignant words as I faintly shook myself in disbelief and purred in a low tone voice, "Don't you say that. Don't you ever say that."
"Don't come in and yell at me saying that I wanted this because I didn't want any of this either. Especially during the timing where you left me" I raised my voice slightly, wanting Lucifer to know how wrong he truly was.
He questioned, "Then, why didn't you get rid of it?"
"Because I didn't. I thought about it" I answered
"Ever since I found out about the baby, I've been non-stop torturing myself thinking about what the hell I was supposed to do. Should I have an abortion? Should I give up the baby for adoption? And would you hate me if I did any of those things? Making you see me like what your dad did you" I started expressing my deeper feelings and fears. All of them began rushing back to me when I learnt I was pregnant and my mind was flooded with panic and repeated questions.
"But, I decided to keep it, because if I was…" my voice was almost on the edge of breaking down completely as I couldn't stop the tears from twinkling out from my eyes, "If I was never going to see you again, then it would great to at least have something that is part of you with me. Making me feel even more closer to you."
Lucifer watched as sadness bloomed on his face when I mentioned our last goodbyes two months ago. Lucifer was standing portrayed as a wrecked and ripped painting when my sure words hit him, he looked unsure on what to say or do or feel. I spotted some sympathy in his gorgeous, brown eyes and I also felt his loneliness from his years in Hell, I bet he wished the same thing would have happened to him. Where Lucifer would have something that relates to me so then Lucifer would have felt like I was close to him as he was to me.
Meanwhile, my right hand gently touched the front side of my belly, as I slight sniffled, "When I found out I was pregnant, I was happy Lucifer, and I wasn't just scarred as well. No… I was terrified."
He bewilderedly gazed down at me when I used the word 'terrified' before he asked, "Why?"
"After deciding to keep the baby, I've been wondering a lot about how to raise a half-angel baby. Will it grow wings after its' birth? Will they come out during puberty? How was I supposed to protect this child from exposing themselves? Because Linda has already got help from Amenadiel, and you certainly not around" I harshly indicated as I cough up a fake smile before it faded away. I knew at the time it was selfish of me for saying that to Lucifer especially when he was giving up his whole life to rule Hell again for our safety. But I didn't care at that second, all I cared about was letting Lucifer know about how I felt during the last two months because he seems to have no idea at all.
"But those were just the small issues, this is where I have trouble sleeping every night" the words were just beginning to uncontrollably pour themselves out from my dry mouth. Lucifer looked anxious now knowing that there's more to come about my fear and doubts, "Charlie was kidnapped by demons, who's to say that they might do the same to our baby if they find out. Will they make them into another ruler of Hell? Who knows!"
"Or what about your siblings? Or what about GOD? Should I be afraid of them? Will they see my baby as a bad thing? Will they try to take it away? Or worse, kill it? Since Michael was here, I'm guessing he would have definitely wanted to hurt the baby if he had the chance" my derisive voice was increasing its' volume as I continued quarrelling out my fears.
Lucifer could feel that feeling of terror reflecting through my wet eyes as I was remembering back to the other night when Michael attacked me and threatened to hurt me and the baby. I continued in a steady but cracking voice, "Or what about God? If he's all-powerful, he could just wipe my baby out from existence in a snap of a finger."
Lucifer moderately shook his head and stupidly thought of correcting me in this bad timing, "Well, technically, my father can't just…"
"That's not the point Lucifer!" I cut in as I growled through my gritted teeth, irritated that Lucifer isn't getting the main point of this argument. How implausible can he be after I have just expressed my true, apprehensive feelings to him. If Lucifer isn't acknowledging this, then it is making him seem like he really doesn't care.
"The point is that I'm just a person, Lucifer, just a person. Who already dealt with the fact that I am in love with the Devil. Then, I thought I lost the man who I love, forever. And, THEN!" I roared while taking a step closer so I was closer to Lucifer, decreasing the space between us, "I found out that I am carrying his child, thinking that I will have to raise it alone and what's worse, you don't seem to care`1"
"I struggled enough to keep Trixie safe since she has already been threatened twice in her life now. You are the devil, who is hated by nearly the entire world. So, tell me, Lucifer, tell me how the FUCK do I keep my baby safe? When you are not even here with me!" I screamed from the top of my lungs as I burst out more bitter tear like forming a waterfall over my red checks.
My face was no-longer showing my rage, instead it was presenting the true feeling I was hiding and what I told him in the beginning… terrified. Like a tsunami crashed into Lucifer's face and covered his skin with utter, pale guilt. I never told Maze or Linda or Amenidael about my true feelings because I wanted to be strong and have faith in myself, desperate to prove to myself that I can this celestial baby and raise it well and healthy. But ever since being attacked by Michael, it was like I woke from a dream, a lie, and reality slapped me in the face. Realising that I was still not capable enough to defend myself and my purity baby from other crazy, cruel, celestial beings like the psycho archangel himself. As if I was dropped into a black pool of tar and was swallowed by my own fears and terrors.
"But, even after thinking of all that, I still chose this baby. And, I will always choose the baby over everything. And I will try to keep it safe. Because that's what good parents do. And, I'm so sorry that your family won't good to you. I really am. Because, you don't deserve it, Lucifer" I pitied him as I know Lucifer didn't had the best childhood and I deeply hate how his family treated him in the past. I loved Lucifer, no matter what his past is like, I still loved him now. Which is the reason why my broken heart is still tearing itself apart.
Gradually, my deafening voice became calmer and quieter after I exhaled in deep and fresh air to refresh my exhausting lungs, "But you got to stop getting yourself stuck so deep in the past. You should think about what's happening right now."
"I needed you" I ended on a tired and depressing note as a single tear released from my right eye and slide down over my red cheek before looking up at him, "And, I still do."
I wasn't asking much of Lucifer, I wasn't asking for a proposal or anything. All I wanted was to let Lucifer know the truth, see if he wants to be involve and if so, then all I really needed was for him to be here with me. I turned around and walked away till I stopped by the kitchen counter so I couldn't see the shame and the sadness that I have painted on his face. He was developing that guilt of not acknowledging the facts that I have suffered when I believed that I was going to be a single mother, raising this baby alone.
"You know, during my time in Hell. I've spent every second imagining our reunion. But, I never imagine any of this" he broke the sorrowful silence.
"Lucifer what you did was a debt no one could ever repay" I turned around and my wet eyes met with his again, I gazed up at him a grateful gaze showing how thankful I am for his huge sacrifice. If Lucifer was going to stay now instead of returning to Hell, I would have spent every day with him making him happy and admiring for his huge sacrifice. I slightly shake my head, "But, since today and yesterday, you have made it painfully clear that you don't want to have anything to do with the baby."
My eyes wandered to the side avoiding any eye contact before I stared back at him and thoughtfully suggested, "I think… I think it's best if we take some time apart."
Lucifer returned with a rebuttal stare and I felt him desperately wanting to say something that could change my mind. I know he has spent thousands of years stuck in Hell and he wants to come back to his old life with me by his side forever, but unfortunately, things have changed, now we have a baby coming. Lucifer needs to understand that he can't always expect things to go his way, and so should I.
His jaw moved yet nothing came out before Lucifer quietly muttered, "Detective… I want…"
He stopped midway, leading me to wonder, "What? You want what, Lucifer?"
Seem clueless at first and his mouth slightly open as though he was choking on his own words. Until, he finally slips "I want you."
"I want you too" I whispered in my head.
I can't lie, there's nothing in the world that can pull me away from wanting Lucifer to just be here with me, to hold me, to touch me, to kiss me. But now, I have to think about what's best for the baby. Closed my eyes and calmly exhaled before I opened them and replied, "Things have changed, Lucifer. Like I said, bad timing. But it happened."
"I'm sorry that it did" he spoke in an apologetic tone. I know this wasn't his fault, it just happened. But, I felt his smoke of guilt rising as though Lucifer thought he was the one who put through that non-stop torture of worrying about what to do with a half-angel baby.
"We can't control what happens to us. Only how it affects us" I replied, repeating the same advice to a past killer Kimo Van Zandt (from season 2 episode 5) and counselled on how you can't let yourself be persuaded to make bad decisions by the bad people or things affecting in your life. "And, if the baby really affects you that badly, then you don't have to… you know."
I've already told him that he can be as involved as he wants, but I couldn't bring myself to repeat it again but saying that was like reminding myself that I've lost Lucifer. I wanted him to stay, God knows, how much I wanted him to stay. Even after when he has sent me mixed messages about not having the baby and wanting to get us back together like in the old day. I still believed in him rethinking his decision on the baby and in fact thought that it would still be okay.
"Okay" Lucifer nodded in a low and mortification tone, while I was a little pleased that Lucifer didn't put a fight against my suggestion of us taking a break.
Quietly, Lucifer walked towards the front door and past me, he avoided eye contact with me as he didn't want me to see the mortification cursed in his eyes. I didn't watch Lucifer leave through the front door, but I heard when he closed the door. Once, I was finally alone again, I deeply exhaled out releasing all the agony that was growing inside of me.
I darted down a remorseful glance down at the baby in my stomach, my hand softly rubs the front side of my belly, I purred, "Oh baby. What the hell am I actually going to do?"