Constantine the Laughing Magician Presents; Life in the Real World –

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Chapter 17: By the Glory of the Unholy Gods!

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~ "Unhand That Child, You Fiend," is What I Should Have Said. Instead, I bleedin' insulted a Titan of the old laws and he spewed sap all over my good pants. Did I have an accident, or does this little wanker need a wallop and a stern talking to before it takes someone ELSE's mind and squashes it into muck! ~

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The character; raped in a dream sequence, and I'd bothered to go into the kid's daydream to fish him out; and what I found, was unappetizing to any bloody vegan.

~ Are…you aren't fond of the loves, mate? ~ I scoffed and what could I say?? It was a psychic – bound rape in theory, but it wasn't that. Dami was…. dear gods, would the old Bat's temper extend that far? Of course! Being good old uncle Johnny that right always, I formulated a trick, not just like the Nimh's smooch - and offered it something that a nymph of its time, would find...breathtaking.

~You…. ass – magician! Get me down – now! Father will –

~Let the big men talk, dearie. ~ The rather feminine Nymph transformed back as it was androgynous in aspect. I couldn't blame it for sticking to the script. ~ Yeah, well that book was on loan from Hermes, so if I could just take it back –

~ I'm no less tethered than the child I'll be taking to procr –

~ Well, mate! If you're well and good for bloody pedantry when it comes to wine an' dine, I can't stop you. But! I've never taken a book longer than a year –

~ I'm not some trophy for your cases, wizard! ~ The being hissed as it sent a good ton to tear through my sleeves. Could I count on being molested by imaginary bogeys? Why, yes. Yes, I could.

~ That lad isn't for sale. And you're overdue by a dozen centuries. Time to go to rest, Zeus an' Hera be willin' to give a shite if you come over to their end in one piece. ~

I raised a palm and had to call on the only ally that could tear up this memorable struggle.

~ I call upon the goddess of the hunt! The moon and of great growth of a civilization…Artemis! Let she strike thine foes through the veil of the hunted! ~

The whining vines all collected together, the world rippling as my spell, hit its mark.

~ Veil of the gods? ~ A great chariot did not follow, yet a woman of strength and majesty as she came along her bitches of the hunt, a deer of starlight between one dog's teeth with its face a bloody wolf – mess…dear gods. Had she been working out?

~ Yeah? You gave me reason to punish a wicked world; state your business. ~

I'm baffled. And I thought Athena turned heads!

~ Ahem! Your father's nymph has molested inside the mind, this child of a high mortal pedigree, and also has overtaken a mortal city with its body parts... The magical by – laws do not permit beings of the other – realms to stand by this sort of chaos. I believe, our little friend will be yours to deal… ~

She looked to see the vines purging man inside this illusion, and how it was trying to become a reality. Without a god's say so. ~ Uppity, are ye? Nymph of great desire! You are to cease this disgusting trial on mankind before I tear your limbs abound and feed them to my hounds! ~

Ah, mark received.

~ I…Was let free by the mortal boy and his curiosities –

~ Condemn this filth as nothing more than ground sod! ~ The hounds in fact changed form as women to the goddess to wait on her, hand and foot. Amazons, and gods…. bloody damn, were they amazin!

~ No! I have to live! I have tra –

~ You've only ruined my rest, pig. ~ Dami stuck out his tongue at the being, it almost cried by how they'd never connected on a more sensual plane.

~ Sweet dreams, dirt wad. ~

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Harley and Ive had to dig out King Shark and Clay face from the ooze that had come out of the now disintegrating vines, but not before making a comment to Bat's other teens.

"Red Robin! You missed it! There were blood and plant's guts all over –

"Nightwing?" Ivy blinked and wiped her sleeves and hair clear of the diabolical plant being's fluids.

"I came when I heard; where is Batman??"

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Bruce tried not to gasp too harshly as the beastly vine cradling him and suffocating as it was – had been ready to pop.

All over the den. Green globs, as Titus whimpered while a face popped out of the doorway and footsteps echoed.

"The lad is asleep; he'd be best to eat a bland diet when he wakes. No seedlings or hatching required, thank goodness. Bloody well, I got here before –

Bruce smacked the magi right across the side of his face, from the man's feet as he fell back into the wall.

"Damn it! You're in a fit? Look at me! I've done –

I can turn and try to be a hero…

Artemis had hazed me big bloody time, so I was just a guilty little rat to the big bat daddy.

Shite… never owe favors to an amazon from the past.

"JOHN. Regardless, you are to take your curses and books out of this city …. until I can get this all addressed that my son, did not –

"He was in a dream of it doin' the nasty!" John rolled his eyes. "Mind control, bloke. Ah, but we stopped it with the goddess's hounds!" I could protest to daddy here, yet his offspring had an even uglier look on. As if I'd be happy to make it to that window ledge in one whole piece.

"Fine, have him examined and if I'm right, call me –

"Get out!"

I hopped through a vortex, and so I did. Who needed mates like that who couldn't see past the mask, anyhow?

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"So, is Dami…?"

"Not a parent."

"Thank goodness. Then, perhaps you might wish to apologize to that Constantine fellow." Alfred brought tea and a bit of something of a snack of the lightest fare to calm the clan's nerves. "I'll run a scan on his brain, only for a few nights to be sure that it's gone."

"Bruce…Dami won't like you anymore if you prod him with needles." Nightwing, or Dick Grayson, picked up a tack – hard biscuit and dunked it right into his cup. "Glad he let me at least talk to him before he slammed the door in my face."

"John did fix the problem, even if his tome was the reason why Damian was hurt like that." Bruce shivered, more upset than scared for what could have been. That, was not a nightmare he'd like to revisit any time soon.

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Dami couldn't sleep, he had to do some sort of test for his father to know, but he was bothered by a strange ache not in his belly. On his boyhood and ass…So, he had a bad feeling that puberty for him would be hitting a tad earlier thanks to that little birth-controlled nonsense. He pulled the covers over his head and touched himself with a grunt. Damn, he had to flipping increase his abstinence plea or he'd end up like his father! Shit!

"I really hate that wizard…" He grumbled as a bit of pre – cum had begun to trickle down his length, before he tossed and finally, fell into a more blissful set of dreams…

About beating up John for good, sending him to another dimension.

His eyes popped open…

Did he have a new crush on…

"Stupid magi!!"

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Kind of cracks fun at John being an asshole and Bruce not being as clueless when, he is the king of aloof in his old age. Anyway…this is the end of one story, next will be a few extra back; to the Dances with Dragons chapter, and Etrigan and Zee in Medieval times! Look forward to it!